#haru asai. ic / i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

[ahsterism]

@pclyglot asked: kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing, haru,,,,, // kiss prompts

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT— the breeze is gentle against their skin, their view of the stars from the secluded spot the two of them had found vast and intriguing. Of course, Haru should've known Daichi would be able to show them the BEST spot to see the most gorgeous view Sumeru has to offer. Still, it warms their heart to know Daichi would share this place with them, simply laying on their backs on the grass and admiring the night sky. It's a comforting change of PACE, in a way, a moment of peace only for the two of them to linger in.

"I wish I knew more constellations..." They comment, the tip of their finger resting against their chin as they search for patterns in the stars. "Heh, I guess I don't stop and look at things like this as often as I should, huh? It's... really beautiful." They turn towards Daichi, though instead of finding them looking at the stars too... their gazes meet. A subtle heat burns at Haru's cheeks as they realize Daichi had been looking at them for at least a moment, though the soft smile that appears is enough to tell they feel warmed by the thought.

They lean in with what feels like perfect sync, Haru's palm reaching to cup the side of Daichi's face as they share a soft kiss, one that lasts only a few moments but is quickly followed by a second, a third, ebb and flow broken only by the breaths they need to take. Their other hand traces circles on Daichi's chest after they part for a longer moment. "Thank you... for showing me this. I'm... really happy I'm here with you, you know?"

[ahsterism-aa]

@illusinae​ asked: “ I can give you a day of break, if you take this knife and stuck it in your shoulder. “ @ Haru // torture sentence starters

    HARU IS USUALLY ABLE TO PUSH THEMSELVES THROUGH ANYTHING, carrying a remarkably tenacious drive almost everywhere they go— from difficult routines to days when it feels as if the world is ready to swallow them whole...despite everything, they get through it. This, however... it becomes more and more difficult to hold onto their previously unwavering resolve the longer they’re stuck. Without anything to mark them down with, Haru has lost count of the days by now ( a week, maybe...or maybe it’s been longer than that? if so...how many? do they really want to know the answer? ), and...well, their defiant nature hasn’t really done them any favors. 

      They won’t cave, they REFUSE to give into whatever Cam might want from them, but their ability doesn’t provide any solace with their weakened state, and Haru doesn’t know how much longer they can last like this...

  The blade is slid towards them, met with a coughing fit that chokes its way out the second Haru tries to look too quick, chest jerking upwards as their head lolls slightly sideways and the bitter taste of warm blood fills their mouth again. Old wounds still feel ripe, broken bones and deep gashes alike, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts... 

 “Seriously?” They manage between breaths, apprehensive fear building in their stomach. They have absolutely no reason to trust Cam’s word— for all they know, it could be a lie, and then it’ll only end up worse for them— and Haru isn’t even sure if they could MANAGE doing that. But... even with the added wound, it’s less than it would be otherwise, and a day to heal...it might be good for something, for an escape. Slowly, weak fingers dance towards the hilt, just close enough to grab it, but... “Wh- what if- nnggh...what if I don’t, then? What h- happens there?"

[ahsterism]

@pyriety asked: anon vc haru!! keiji or daichi- // send my muse two ( or more ) names for them to honestly admit which one they like the most and why

HARU’S STOMACH DROPS the moment they receive the question… they don’t think this is a fair game at all. … Not that they aren’t a fan of causing a bit of chaos or anything, but not when THEY’RE the one being asked the question. What if they pick one, and the other is suddenly hurt, huh? They need everyone to like them so much all the time…

“WELL, that’s—” They stammer, before sighing and puffing out their cheeks in frustration. “First of all, I think BOTH of them are great, amazing people who deserve every good thing in the world, so jot that down-” Get to the point. “But… I think I HAVE to say Keiji for this. We’ve known each other since we were both kids! I don’t think I would’ve gotten where I am right now without him by my side, he’s always meant a lot to me… soooo that’s not a fair grounds of comparison at all, really.” They’re sorry, Daichi.

[ahsterism]

tag drop pt. 7: ocs (1/3)

[ahsterism-aa]

@dairata​ asked: " Haru, my beloved? Have I ever told you I'd like to know you in the biblical sense, but in a way that would make God blush? " // ben likes to harass me constantly

   “HUH?” They perk up the moment Daichi grabs their attention, before the remark catches them by slight surprise— the way Daichi says it, plus the word choice, it sounds...poetic, almost. “Oh— wow, um...” 

             Then again, Haru knows him well enough by now to guess a little further. 

  “Is this code for something, or—?” Pause... “But that’s nice of you! I almost want to agree right now, but... I kind of wanna see what else you’ve got to convince me!” Little shit. 

[ahsterism-aa]

“If you like hearing me yell on the field that’s nothing compared to behind closed doors.” Can they pull the line off? Well...they sure tried. 

[ahsterism-aa]

@casecmplx​ asked: “has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?”  akemi @ haru uwu // young royals ( 2021 )

    AS MUCH AS HARU MIGHT NOT ADMIT IT, they tend to be particularly conscious about their appearance. Whether through their efforts to look as unique as possible ( the blue and white tangled together in their hair, bright pink their first choice for prescription contacts, colorful earrings and clothes ) or necessary for part of a performance ( after all, they HAVE grown accustomed to makeup for cheerleading ), Haru knows how they appear to others. And yet, the compliment from Akemi still manages to take their breath away.

Haru’s heart seems to leap in their chest right away, jumping and flipping even more than Haru themselves would in a routine— for someone as amazing as Akemi, to think this way about them? They can barely even wrap their head around it. It’s not as if Haru doesn’t get positive feedback; mostly, they’ve received a lot for their skills, but something like this… no, they don’t think they’ve ever been told that. It’s nice to hear, though.

“Oh!” They blurt out, definitely unable to hide the slight flush that burns underneath their cheeks. Despite being slightly flustered, they seem to light up too, grinning and starry-eyed. “That’s… really nice of you, Akemi. I don’t know if I’ve ever really heard it from someone, but… you know-” Come on, don’t mess this up, stick the landing. “-I think I like hearing it the most from you, anyways.”

[ahsterism-aa]

@trialcmplx​ asked: “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”  oh,,, takumi to haru? // misc sentence starters

         SLIGHT TILT OF THEIR HEAD SIDEWAYS as Haru casts sympathetic gaze towards Takumi— they might have a tendency to lean towards empathy in general, but Takumi’s words especially manage to tug at their heartstrings as Haru tries to envision what he must be going through. Familiar with an incessant need to be seen, burning candles at both ends to please those around them and gain their approval just to find some WORTH in existence, Haru knows they can’t handle feeling alone. They can’t even begin to wrap their head around how this must be for Takumi, though, which only pushes their drive to help even further. After all, who cares about a stupid curse? It’s FAR from enough to push someone like Haru away. 

    “You don’t have to be,” They state, near insistent as they make up their mind. “You’re already not alone— at least, I’M not letting that happen any time soon. C’mon, I’d bet pretty much everybody in our class would agree too. We WANT to be your friend, and I know I care about you a lot! Screw what anyone says about a curse, we’ll make sure you don’t feel alone anymore.” 

[ahsterism-aa]

sighs.....so uhhHHH hh .. tag drop for haru asai, adopted from @parakosms !

[ahsterism-aa]

@parakosms​ asked: “   i  didn’t  have  enough  rocks  to  write  out   ‘ help ’   so  i  just  spelled  out  ‘ hell ’ .   ”  ...daichi @ haru // sticky situations

   HARU BLINKS, brows raised as they stare at Daichi with an almost comical expression, especially for as grim of a situation as the one they’re stuck in. “We’re not on a deserted island, Daichi— I don’t think spelling it out for... whatever those cameras are for is gonna do any good,” They can’t help but laugh, performing a smile instead of letting lingering anxiety take hold ( also, it is sort of morbidly hilarious— both the call for help and the idea of being dumped on an island to kill each other like some messed up reality show instead ). “But— I dunno, I think hell’s pretty accurate, too! ... Do you think we can just curse out the cameras instead? Who knows, maybe that’ll enjoy them enough to come out and tell us what’s going.” 

      There’s a.... distinct pause, before— “Wait, where did you get rocks?”

[ahsterism-aa]

@velvrose​ asked: [ SPRINT ] okay but,,, akemi for haru // things done while hugging

[ SPRINT ]:     seeing the receiver across the room, the sender sprints across the distance between them to give them a hug.

    SUDDEN ONSLAUGHT OF INTENSE EMOTIONS already left visible in every corner of Haru’s expression— their eyes a noticeable red, tear stains left strewn across pinkish cheeks, a mess in all definitions of the word. It’s the first they’re left standing on their own for... well— actually, they don’t know how long this has been going on, the group finally set FREE of an endless cycle with memories of each one rushing back faster than they can handle. It’s all too much to unpack, and Haru doesn’t even know where they’ll BEGIN once the relief of escape starts to wear off.

    Their attention shifts from that thought, though, the moment their gaze lands on Akemi across the room. 

 Haru thinks they take off at around the same time, though Akemi is FASTER, pulling them right into a sudden tight hug. They STUMBLE slightly, having to regain their footing before returning the gesture— but once they do, they CLING tight, hands curling into the fabric of her clothing as they bury their head into the embrace. Tears well in their eyes once more ( guess they haven’t cried them all out yet ), and for a few moments they all but lose themselves in the contact. Haru doesn’t know how long they stay that way before any words are said, but the desperate physical touch is enough to know they’re here, okay, alive, they made it out. “I’m so glad you’re okay-” They finally speak, voice wobbling slightly. “We- we did it, we’re fine, it’s... it’s alright, I missed you so much.” When? EVERY time they lost her. “We’ll... we’ll be okay now, right?” 

[ahsterism-aa]

@parakosms​ asked: 🧸 to give my muse a giant teddy bear, Daichi @ Haru!! // valentine’s day

      HARU’S JAW DROPS the moment they lay eyes on the gift from Daichi, gaze quickly lighting up as their excitement increases tenfold! It may be stupid, or childish, but Haru has always loved to collect various stuffed animals ( especially teddy bears ), the gift and its attention to detail when it comes to what Haru enjoys leaving their heart swelling. “Daichi! This is amazing!” Their grin is infectious, too, reaching out to hold the large bear and realizing just how soft it is, too.

 “You know, you might have just replaced yourself as the first choice for a cuddle buddy, this is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen-” It’s lighthearted ( they would never replace Daichi for something like that ), proven quickly by the way they use their free hand to gently clasp Daichi’s. “Thank you, I appreciate it a lot. And don’t think I didn’t get you something, too!” 

[ahsterism-aa]

@paradisechased​ asked: “gay as fuck to get boba, why are you sucking down balls?” Leon @ Haru- // shit heard at art school

   NO WORDS, despite the pull of a smile ( they’re really tempted to laugh ) that almost makes its way through— but instead, Haru simply and loudly SIPS their drink for about ten seconds, making sure to get the boba. “I dunno, you tell me!” Little shit-

[ahsterism-aa]

@piictureshow​ asked: “the audacity of me to go from ‘do you think they fucked after the last supper’ to singing old school taylor swift” kenta @ haru // shit heard at art school

    “YEAH, I KINDA HAD A FEW QUESTIONS about that whole process I just watched.” Especially given how quick that happened, but they really AREN’T one to talk about that. “But hey— we’ve got a whole discussion topic AND bops now, what more could you ask for?” Haru, no.

[ahsterism-aa]

@parakosms​ asked: ❝ a dead body? wait…there’s more… ❞  Tsuneo to Haru but like,,,,specifically during the KG lol- // an old meme somewhere

       FROZEN IN COMPLETE SHOCK, Haru finds themselves too wrapped up in the overwhelming horror and disbelief of the scene in front of them to even process Tsuneo’s words— the comment about a dead body makes its way through first, which...Haru knows. They all know; it would be difficult to MISS after the blaring announcement notifying the entire class of what happened. And yet... it still doesn’t feel real. As much as they want to tear their gaze away, it seems almost impossible, gaze zeroed in on...Daichi, hunched over and pale and undoubtedly dead. Haru thinks back on their last conversation, just yesterday, how long had that been before this happened? WHAT happened? Already, Haru’s stomach ties in knots with fear, guilt, and...grief? The two didn’t know each other very long, yet the loss seems to hold a weight they can’t quite place. 

                               They’re starting to get an especially terrible feeling about this.

   “MORE?” They blurt out, nearly choking on air the moment they finally try to speak. “How can you... how are we supposed to move onto an investigation this quickly? Our friend is...Daichi’s GONE, it’s not fair that we’re supposed to focus on anything else!” With every word, Haru feels their chest growing tighter and tighter— they don’t blame Tsuneo, they couldn’t, not when they’re all bound to process this differently. “Sorry, I— it’s just...hard not to be overwhelmed. What’d you find?” 

[ahsterism-aa]

@parakosms​ asked: “  let me do this for you. please.  ” Daichi to Haru!! // misc sentence starters 

  AS MUCH AS HARU TRIES TO DEFLECT THE CONCERN, they’re defenseless against Daichi— they know it all too well already. Memories muddled together ( enough to drown in, like a gaping black hole that pulls them right back to it no matter how far they push themselves out of it ), none of them truly real, and yet Haru can pinpoint Daichi’s presence, always a positive one. ...When he was there, that is. The weight of loss also sits heavy, and even if they can’t always separate which events belong to which loop, Haru will never be able to forget losing him.

    “Okay...” They grumble, too EXHAUSTED to even try and resist further. arms wrapped around their torso in a self-embrace as they sniff, trying to hold in the tears the best they can— since the end of the games, Haru can’t shake the feeling of constantly being stuck in a PERFORMANCE. It’s what they’re best at...isn’t it? When they’re so far out of their own head that nothing around them feels real, a smile and a cheer onwards always does the trick...keep performing. Every single thing feels like it’s part of the act these days. 

       They still don’t feel wholly there, but Daichi breaks a wall, at least, and they practically deflate where they’re sat, swaying forwards to press their forehead to Daichi’s shoulder, shuddering as an onslaught of emotion washes over them. “You feel real...y-y’know? This...means you have to let me help you too, though, no takebacks.”