#have shitpost while i lag Please

[muckyschmuck]

aha. what

[khizuo]

liveblogging mcc 13 cyan candy canes, baby! (from wilbur and phil’s pov)

Pre-game

- 4 minutes to 3 and wilbur has still not started his stream. I can’t stand this man /j

- fundy made his own skin! pog!

- yes fundy your team is amazing, that’s why I’m watching it

- wilbur’s waiting music is a piano version of your new boyfriend, awww

- and he’s just inserting “WOOO!” in there because,,, of course

- WILBUR JUST WOKE UP 20 MINUTES AGO god that’s relatable oof

- NOOO THE CLOCK ISN’T IN THE BACKGROUND ANYMORE

- THIS IS THE LAST STREAM IN THE OFFICE AAAAHHHH

- wilbur doesn’t even have a custom skin he’s the “ghost of christmas past” I hate him /j

- this team is so not gonna win lmao quackity also just woke up

- wilbur is calling quackity “big quu” this is terrible already

- I fucking love quackity’s skin IT’S JUST HIM NAKED WITH CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

- NOW WILBUR’S IN A SHAME JUMPER

- literally the reddit could have never made skins this good I love it

- TRUMPBUR OH GOD

- this team is chaotic and the stream has just started

Parkour Tag

- Phil: “It’s so early in the stream and we’re already talking about giving out coke” he’s a tired dad this mcc lmao

- wilbur and big q can’t stop making trump jokes I love this team way too much

- “wilbur you gotta be the bait” (trump sweater joke) “yes I’m the worm!”

- I swear they’re barely talking about mcc they’re just talking about random shit lmao

- quackity to phil: “if you win we can pay for your hospital bills” SAVE THE MINECRAFT MAN

- “she’s high so that’s bad for the kid” good lord there’s too many drug jokes already

- fundy survived a round for the first time! (but wilbur also didn’t tag hbomb rip)

- ooh, teal’s having a strong start! 

- BIG Q TAGGED DREAM THE POWER

- “We don’t care about points we care about clout” 

Battle Box

- wilbur keeps forgetting that he’s NOT BAD AT MCC

- wilbur’s mic broke oh god

- BIG Q FARM THE CLOUT

- wilbur’s stream is so scuffed rn he’s muted and he’s lagging so hard

- alright he’s back!

- dude they have to stop making quackity go to mid alone

- phil’s new strategy is great! they beat the illumina/punz team

- they almost beat coral carollers (aka team pvp) damnnn

- Wilbur’s just rapping lafayette’s song lmao

- THEY WON A ROUND WHILE SINGING FOUR DIFFERENT SONGS

- What was that fruitberries maneuver—

- LITERALLY 4 OF THE 5 BEST PLAYERS THAT GAME WAS CORAL

- Wilbur’s yelling WOOOOOOOOO as he yo-yo’s

- this team is nothing but chaos and I’ve never laughed so hard

Hole in the Wall

- What is this song they’re singing

- Wilbur’s just singing “And we drink too many shots” on repeat

- Philza’s disappointed dad energy is so strong

- THAT’S MY FURRY LITTLE BOY wilbur please

- quackity is too good at making stupid voices

- “oh my god if you think about it wilbur these are a bunch of walls you shoudl wear your [trump] sweater” QUACKITY STOP

- FUNDY JINXED ME NO MY CLOUT -quackity

- wilbur can see the future (?) “george fall” and then george fall “now dream” AND THEN DREAM FALLS

- JayZ is the best MCC player

- they’re trying to jinx petezahhhutt

- Wilbur stop saying you’re bad at MCC

- “And we drink too many shots and we drink too many shots”

- They came 2nd while literally just talking in tumblr shitpost—

Ace Race

- “It’s been a season one tradition that I hate ace race, so I’m gonna be as optimistic as possible” - wilbur

- “wilbur are you a clone” “FUNDY ARE YOU A FURRY” 

- wilbur literally couldn’t be positive about ace race for 30 SECONDS

- they’re flaming scott smajor

- everyone’s too good at this game now lmao

- WTF HE’S OFFLINE AND HIS OFFLINE SCREEN IS SO FUCKING CURSED

- WILBUR’S COMPUTER CRASHED

- tommy came in and asked if wil’s okay awww

- THEY DID IT THEY ADDED NEW CURSED LORE. QUACKITY IS NOW PHILZA’S GRANDSON

- I’M A PROPHET

- they were doing so well now they’re fucked lol

- Hbomb’s first! I’m so happy for him I love hbomb

- damn I’m actually sad now that their placements are gonna be so fucked

- and they’d done so well in hitw! this is actually sad

- HBOMB HAS A NEW RECORD WOOO

- a lot of people broke techno’s mcc 11 record but also this map is shorter

Intermission

- Wilbur’s breaking his pc at the end of the stream—

- quackity and wilbur collab? 👀

TGTTOSAWAF

- PHIL FIRST IN TERRA SWOOP FORCE LET’S FUCKING GO

- dude wilbur don’t feel bad about your pc breaking—

- PHIL FIRST IN THE DOORS MAP TOO

- they just followed teal AND THEY’RE PUNCHING ERET

- THIS IS THE TRUE L’MANBERG WAR

- teal turkeys is fucking killing it! illumina and punz redemption!

- FUNDY FIRST IN THE BOATS MAP

- lmao phil is almost last but it glitched

- TOP 3 PLAYERS ALL TEAL

- I mean the subreddit knew this would be their best game

- qauckity is lowest points BUT NOT LOWEST CLOUT

- WE LOVE CLOUT

- why is wilbur miaowing

- "tubbo on a yo-yo what will he do” - fundy

Rocket Spleef

- dude with this game order cyan could have won if not for wilbur’s pc crashing in ace race

- HOW MANY SONGS HAVE BEEN SUNG THIS MCC

- fundy is singing apple pen stop him

- why are they all putting on scuffed british accents

- WILBUR WATCHES HERMITCRAFT THIS MAN

- THEY WON THE FIRST ROUND

- they haven’t used their normal voices for HALF THIS MCC

- WHY IS EVERYONE GOING AFTER PHIL

- quackity getting them kills!

- aww they’re not first anymore

- MCC = My Catholic Christmas

- quackity and wilbur really need to stop talking down about themselves—

- “just killed a tommy, feeling good” - wilbur

- will it be a gogy christmas or not?

- PHIL WON THE LAST ROUND

- TECHNOBLADE TTS

Snows of Time

- Technoblade TTS “do you wanna kill a snowman”

- WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE SERVER

- okay it crashed for a moment now it’s back

- wow this event is scuffed but I don’t even care I’m just laughing

- NO PHIL DIED IN LAVA

- they opened two vaults but wilbur didn’t cash

- sighhhh there’s no chance now

- they’re somehow sixth in SOT?

- WILBUR HAS OVERTAKEN BTS IN THE CHARTS

- wilbur likes dynamite by bts we stan

Big Sales at Build Mart

- they dunked dream YEAHHH

- NO NOT BUILD MART NOOOOOOOOO

- PHIL JUST WALKED OUT

- dodgebolt of teal and purple! lmao pink didn’t even make it

- THE CAPTAIN IS 3RD AGAIN

- lmao this is wil’s worst placement ever rip

- THE REDDIT IS GONNA GO WILD

Dodgebolt

- wilbur is actually sad aww nuuu :(

- this mcc was fun as hell though!

- even though the last two games were a bit of a downer

- WILBUR AND QUACKITY ARE MAKING OUT BEHIND THE BLEACHERS WHY

- go teal! I like purple too but I want illumina and punz to get their first wins

- but false is too powerful

- Wilbur listens to hayloft in the shower?

- quackity’s badboyhalo impression is on point

- THEY’RE CORRUPTING MUFFINHEAD STOP

- THIS IS SUCH A TENSE DODGEBOLT

- YES GO TEAL

- Pete 1v4 lol

- AND TEAL WINS!!!

- aww poor grian tho ;-;

okay this was the longest liveblog post like ever created oops

[nabrizoya]

Congratulations!! You totally deserve this!! I can't emphasise enough how much I love your blog. Can I have 1 & 5 please? Some anecdote about me: As a baby, I was obsessed with anything shiny.

I cannot emphasize it enough on how much I love your blog bro! More so on how you manage to come up with shitposts so well! You astound me. 

Are you sure you’re not a magpie? Because I heard... they like... shiny things too? (xD) Do you think there’s a character from any of the books you’ve read who’d get along well with you? 

... I spoiled TID for myself while I was reading Clockwork Prince. 😭 But the best part about reading TID was the fact that I got out of my reading slump and was able to thoroughly enjoy the book. Better yet that all the time that I read, I was in the balcony as the sky clouded over, traces of rain in it, it set the perfect vibe to read and wander through the ancient streets of Old London. And while finishing CP2, for the first ever time (!!!) I managed to pull a successful all-nighter.Admittedly, it is also the first time I ever stayed up the whole night to finish reading a book. Oh man, my reactions were... GAAAH. 

Something random about myself- so, when I was in 10th, I was lagging behind in studying the portions for my history class. French revolution- nah, it was something about the romanticism movement in Europe, the personification of a country’s being through the strength and valour of a woman, etc. So, I wasn’t prepared for the class test not were another bunch of people. Together we orchestrated to -don’t judge me pls- to, yk, take a sly glance at the question paper and just pass the 20 mark exam. 

And we did. Most of us, anyway. And I scored well, full marks. Problem was, our teacher already knew that we had cheated so it made it all the worse to attain full marks on the exam. She was mad at me, and me specifically because she perhaps saw me as an ideal student or something but was disappointed, but well, eventually things settled and our teacher forgave me.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ all good. 

[jayrockin]

I’ve spent the past few months attempting to figure out a framework for Ghost Physics in the Danny Phantom universe? Enjoy my crazed scribblings.

Cliff notes version: The Ghost Zone is our dimension’s 4D “atmosphere,” absorbing harmful trans-dimensional radiation. Ghosts are made of the Ghost Zone’s version of matter, called ectoplasm, a substance capable of 4D motion (video explanation of that), “toggling” how physical forces (esp. electromagnetism and gravity) interact with it, and storing huge amounts of energy. A ghost’s unique nervous system and encoded body plan (the ecto-signature) remains in the upper energy levels of the Ghost Zone at all times, remotely controlling their body. Danny can chemically change his body between ectoplasm and regular matter, and has both a normal physical brain and an ecto-signature.

A Literal Essay:

The Ghost Zone (GZ) is a thin, high-energy barrier around our universe (OU) that occupies four-dimensional space in relation to us. All regular matter releases energetic particles that travel along the 4D axis out of our world, called trans-dimensional radiation. GZ matter, colloquially referred to as ectoplasm, absorbs trans-dimensional radiation as it tries to pass through the GZ. Sorta like a 4D atmosphere, it protects OU from the potentially harmful particles released by nearby universes.

Ghost portals are locations where the GZ and OU intersect along the 4D axis. The Fenton ghost portal takes the form of a flat octagon, but naturally occurring ghost portals can appear to be shifting 3D shapes, do to the nature of a 4D intersection between 3D universes. Ghosts (as described later) are also a sort of 4D intersection, being 3D matter connected to the GZ by a 4D hole, but they are not high-energy enough to jump freely between the two universes and must use spots where the plains already intersect, i.e. ghost portals.

Ectoplasm is superficially similar to OU matter, having analogous elements, isotopes, and molecular structures; but it does not follow the same physical laws as OU matter. Most notably ectoplasm can change how physical forces and OU particles interact with it, and is able to absorb and release preposterous amounts of energy. Ectoplasm can toggle its conductivity, magnetism, photo-reflectivity, electromagnetic emission, and many other aspects of itself. It’s both the world’s best battery and a universal substance; the Fentons have the right idea incorporating it in their technology. Although it mostly absorbs trans-dimensional radiation, ectoplasm will passively leech ambient energy while in OU. Temperatures drop and lights flicker in the presence of a ghost because they’re sucking up the heat and electrical energy. The more active a ghost is the more ambient energy they absorb; ghost fights can get pretty chilly for human onlookers.

Ghosts are formed when a human or animal brain releases trans-dimensional radiation at a traumatic moment of death, which leaves a mirror imprint of their nervous system in the GZ. This imprint/energy pattern is called an ecto-signature, and contains both the working nervous system of the ghost and the basic coding for their physical form. A ghost’s ecto-signature remains in the GZ at all times, but on a slightly higher-energy level of it that isn't accessible to most physical objects. Ghosts never truly leave the GZ because of this; they can “snap” in alignment to either universe, but while they project their physical body into OU, the energy pattern that forms their brain is still in the GZ. In OU a ghost’s body sits atop a form-fitting 4th dimensional hole that we cannot perceive, beyond the faint glow of the GZ that forms a ghost’s aura and rim-lighting. Ghosts appear to be backlit from any angle you look at them because of this hole, while in the GZ they look more like regular objects.

Because a ghost’s body is not the physical location of their brain, they can freely distort themselves, take huge amounts of damage, and even atomize their body with no consequence. Ghosts appear to be impossible to kill from a typical human perspective because attacking their body ultimately does not harm the source of the ghost, its ecto-signature. Healing massive damage like limb loss and complete destruction of the body is energetically expensive and ghosts try to avoid it, but ultimately they will reform in the GZ unless the ecto-signature itself is targeted. A corrupted ecto-signature can permanently brain-damage a ghost or “glitch” their attempts at forming a body. Interference along the 4D hole connecting a ghost’s body and the ecto-signature will appear to cause similar physical effects and lagging reactions, but is temporary.

Halfas, of course, work differently from a normal ghost. Danny experienced the standard traumatic death scenario, but before he had actually finished dying! His trauma (electrocution) occurred at an intersection of OU and the GZ, so his body mass briefly existed in the same location as a mass of ectoplasm. Since the trans-dimensional radiation of Danny’s traumatized nervous system had no distance to cross, his ecto-signature formed early, and in the exact same location as his regular brain. The new ghost brain attempted to form an ectoplasmic body in the same space as Danny’s human body, triggering a chemical reaction that converted all of his OU matter into GZ matter. Danny has significantly more physical complexity than a normal ghost as Phantom because his ghost body is an exact chemical replica of his human one, instead of just a visual approximation by a traumatized brain copy. After the accident, walking out of the portal, Danny’s new ghost brain continued to exist in the GZ while a working physical nervous system still existed in OU, both working in perfect sync to move the same body.

Danny can transform back from his ghost form by quickly reabsorbing his ectoplasmic body back into the GZ, catalyzing a reverse reaction. (Technically this is within the abilities of a regular ghost as well, but they don’t have an OU matter body coded into their brain and would only be destroying themselves down to an ecto-signature, a massive waste of time and energy.) The boy is a tiny trans-dimensional nuclear reactor… every time he transforms he’s basically creating new matter. The glowing rings are the heat/light of a literal chemical reaction, and they spread outward like fire burning through a sheet of paper. It smells like burning flesh and chemicals and releases a small amount of radiation, although not enough to harm most OU organisms. Vlad’s black transformation rings have a slightly different reaction process and absorb light and energy instead of releasing it.

“Ghost Powers” mostly originate from the weird physical properties of ectoplasm and 4D movement. Intangibility and teleportation are both 4D movement towards the GZ; ghosts essentially dodge 3D matter. Teleportation is a full-body 4D warp, followed by a quick frictionless dash to a nearby location before moving back into alignment with OU. To an outsider this looks like the ghost shrinking/deforming and vanishing before appearing out of nowhere somewhere else. This is a fairly difficult thing to master because full-body warping is incredibly disorienting. Watching 3D objects move from an outside 4D perspective is nauseating and really hard for a human brain to process. Look at this video of a horse rotating from a 4D perspective and try to imagine an entire complex environment moving like this… extremely unpleasant! For this reason, normal intangibility involves atomizing the body and warping each atom along the 4D axis individually. This maintains the illusion of a solid body (instead of shrinking and vanishing) to onlookers and to the ghost’s own brain.

Ghosts sense their environment very differently than an organism from OU, but most wouldn’t know that themselves. Technically, a ghost’s entire body is their ear, eye, nose, tongue and skin, but their ecto-signature usually converts the data into something more tolerable for a human brain to process. All parts of a ghost’s body can detect photons (seeing), motion and vibration (feeling and hearing), chemical contact (smelling and tasting), and trans-dimensional radiation; including parts of their body that appear to be non-living, like hair and clothing. While “seeing” trans-dimensional radiation doesn’t have a OU sensory equivalent, at its full potential it would allow a ghost to see objects along the 4D axis (mostly ghosts trying to hide there) and see through 3D matter. Danny’s ghost sense is a manifestation of this, as his body detects the “black” spot ectoplasm makes by absorbing ambient trans-dimensional radiation.

Ghosts are incredibly powerful and versatile beings, but they are limited by their perception of their body and abilities as humanoid… the older a ghost is, the more likely they are to have mastered more aspects of their fake fluid bodies and consequently gotten even weirder looking and more terrifying.

There’s even more I have worked on besides what I’ve written here, but this is more than enough writing for one post. Feel free to ask me questions, add your own theories, or poke holes in my arguments. If you enjoyed this post, please consider supporting my writing and artwork through Patreon or Ko-fi! Thank you for reading!

PATREON | KO-FI

[fortunesque]

I’ve got to vent...

Even if this ends up ignored and lost in the ether, I feel like I need to put my thoughts into words. Maybe, if I write it down, it’ll make me feel better. Usually, I get angry and then I’m done after about 30 minutes, but I had something happen yesterday afternoon that had me wake up pissed off and stay angry into the afternoon...

That’s not like me at all. I hope if I at least write this down, I’ll get over it and feel better. I have a group of online friends who get together and play tabletop games on the weekends. We’ve done this for a few years.  When I was a face character, I’d mention something like, “Character _, you’ve been quiet. What’s your opinion?”. Or if the group split up, I’d go with the character who hadn’t said or done much in order to try to get them some action. I wasn’t perfect at it, but I tried to get everyone included. But now that I’m not playing a face character, I’m being ignored almost entirely. I’ve had literal 4 hours of playing (an entire session) where my character hasn’t rolled once. I will offer a skill that I have and someone will go “Nah, I’ve got this and I want to do ____”. Yesterday, there was a session where there was a constant back and forth of -- something; I tuned out and I’ll guess it was a bunch of political shitposting in the style of talking-- for about two hours, then another hour of more shitpost style rp. When I’ve found the opportunity to jump in to talk, it’s suddenly, “Why is the doctor talking?”. I’ve even been forgotten in combat until one person pipes up (bless him) “___ hasn’t gone yet.” Or, I have an opportunity to do something and someone who is a completely different class of character butts in and goes “I WANT TO DO THIS” and then I wonder why I’m even there. Or, the team does strategy planning (between two people who monopolize all the talking) and when something absolutely ludicrous is suggested as part of a plan, it’s assumed that my character, who wasn’t present, will go along with said plan, be expected to work on the details of said plan, without a tiny bit of roleplay. They expect me to just meta in something so outrageous for the setting and go with it without even a hint of roleplaying as to why my character suddenly picks up a project to end the apocalypse single-handedly through magic.

If I wanted to sit and listen to people talk for 4 hours straight, I’d watch youtube, because at least the content would be interesting and I could scratch my boobs or whatever at my leisure. Or, hell, I could catch up on my sorely lagging fanfic updates. I’m not sure if this is a token female problem, a token liberal problem, or an age gap issue. I think I’ll get screencaps of all of my characters and quit- maybe start another game with different people.

There really isn’t a point to this; I just needed to complain. If you’re playing tabletop, please make sure you include all players, and if someone hasn’t done something in a while, maybe suggest something they can do to help or roleplay your character striking up a conversation with them. It’s really not that hard.

*old man yells at cloud*

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

This sex toy company uses niche meme accounts to spread the joys of masturbation

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

It's 2019, and people are finally starting to understand that it isn't just dudes who are allowed to be horny. 

While social media platforms lag behind on allowing sponsored posts for vibrators and other sextech, one sex toy company is getting around these barriers by advertising through something more organic: meme accounts. 

View this post on Instagram

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

A post shared by Unbound (@unboundbabes) on Apr 20, 2019 at 6:09pm PDT

Male sexual enhancement has long been advertised openly. Older men toss footballs and describe how Viagra rejuvenated their love lives. Condom ads run in the same traditionally masculine tone as whiskey and beer spots. Sure, we've seen ads for menstrual products, where overly cheery women spike volleyballs on the beach and sprint across stretches of wildflowers as if their uteri weren't betraying them at that very moment. But products focused on female sexual health — and on pleasure, specifically — remain shrouded in shame. Companies in the sextech space face difficulty securing funding for new products and often can't advertise using traditional channels. 

As a result sex tech companies have increasingly relied on social media to promote their products. Aesthetically pleasing sex toys found a home on Instagram a while back. (Vox dove into the many companies whose minimalist earth-toned Instagram grids echo those of beauty and skincare brands.) But Unbound, a sexual wellness company founded in 2014, takes a different approach. 

Leaning in to chaotic horniness

The company's Instagram grid is curated chaos. Unbound also posts ethereal portraits of female and non-binary fans with their toys, but the soul of its Instagram presence is in the memes about eating ass and canceling plans to play with yourself instead.  

"When it comes to subjects that make us feel vulnerable," Unbound CEO Polly Rodriguez told Mashable during a phone call. "The best thing to make people more comfortable is to laugh at the truths we all know are real but maybe don't talk about."

Buying toys for the first time can be an intimidating experience, especially if you don't know what you're looking for. Traditionally, sex shops were crowded with overwhelmingly flesh-colored silicone molded into equally overwhelming phallic shapes. For decades, Rodriguez says, toys for women were designed by men, based on cis male genitals. When she was diagnosed with cancer and treatment forced her into menopause at the age of 21, a friend who was a nurse recommended buying a vibrator to get a hold of her sex drive again. Rodriguez says she, "questioned why they all had to look like penises." 

SEE ALSO: How mutual masturbation can help close the orgasm gap

She added that the packaging on the toys depicted women "in lingerie with big boobs and the hair," and said she didn't see herself in them. Unbound products are more whimsical and otherworldly than conventionally sexy — one of its vibrators is literally shaped like an alien spaceship. Rodriguez says when it came to designing these toys, she wanted people to feel comfortable leaving it out on their nightstand. 

The fact that Unbound's toys are rarely shaped like any sort of genital almost makes their Instagram page more approachable for first-time buyers who may be more timid about their desires. It also naturally paves the way for a more chaotically horny, relatable social media landscape. 

View this post on Instagram

MEET SAUCY: a body-safe silicone vibrator with magnetic USB charging capabilities. Haptic response technology means the harder you squeeze, the harder it vibrates. Waterproof so u can rub one out while u rub-a-dub-dub 💦 LINK IN BIO 2 SHOP. 🛸💫💙

A post shared by Unbound (@unboundbabes) on Feb 18, 2019 at 3:44pm PST

"That mentality of not giving a fuck relates to a lot of the audience," Rodriguez said, explaining the company's shitpost-y Instagram presence. "We want to follow meme accounts because they make us laugh."

A shift in the spon con landscape

Although Unbound really started taking off in 2016, at the height of color-coordinated, well-planned grids, Instagram users are moving away from avocado toast and selfies against saturated mural walls. As the Atlantic noted in an article about the decline of the perfect Instagram grid, "Fast-rising young influencers such as Emma Chamberlain, Jazzy Anne, and Joanna Ceddia all reject the notion of a curated feed in favor of a messier and more unfiltered vibe."

Unbound was ahead of the times. When Glossier's millennial pink-themed grid was the gold standard for Instagram accounts, Rodriguez said she let her former intern and now social media manager Emily Malinowski take the wheel. 

"Emily was like we're just gonna post some weird shit and see what happens," Rodriguez explained. "That's where Instagram's trending — people want lowbrow in experience but highbrow in intellect." 

But while Unbound's messaging and aesthetic resonated with its audience, Instagram itself still has a long way to go when it comes to sex positivity. The platform doesn't allow Unbound to use typical advertising methods like promoted posts, Rodriguez says, and frequently removes posts it claims are inappropriate. She calls it a "double edged sword."

"On one hand Instagram rewards brands and accounts that really care about visual aesthetic," Rodriguez explained. "At the same time, Instagram is constantly taking down accounts, banning accounts ... And yet male sexual wellness brands are allowed to promote."

Which is why Unbound uses the more unconventional advertising tactic of partnering with meme accounts. Many brands, of course, reach out to influencers to promote their products. But doing spon con through memes, like Unbound is doing, is brilliant. 

View this post on Instagram

i have two loves in my life and their names are gem and ollie💎💗 @unboundbabes just launched #UNArea69 and it’s amazingggg!! use the code barbie69 to get $10 off of $50+ from them and use the link in my bio

A post shared by ♏️ 🦂 scorpihoé 🦇♏️ (@prozac.barbie) on Jan 31, 2019 at 7:24pm PST

View this post on Instagram

Use my promo code 'clara' for 10% off orders of $35 or more at @unboundbabes ! Especially luv the bender bc it’s USB chargeable, and cute but powerful (and bendy, ofc). This is my ideal weekend honestly I wasted so much time on bad rebound sex before my vibe #ad

A post shared by clara (@meme_love_you_long_time) on Apr 30, 2019 at 7:27am PDT

View this post on Instagram

it’s a mEtApHySiCaL paradoxical law of science and physics and chemistry that u cannot escape, boys (vibrator wand featured is the Ollie by @unboundbabes, I have a code “ghosted69” for $10 off)

A post shared by haley (@ghosted1996) on Jan 31, 2019 at 4:21pm PST

Linda Lin found Unbound through the meme account @ghosted1996, and was drawn in by the fact that she didn't have to visit a "sleazy website" to buy sex toys.

"It made it seem like masturbation was normal to talk about," she said through Instagram DMs. "Seeing memes and small influencers promote this material makes you feel good about being open about your sexuality." 

Hyacinth Rios was surprised that when they first bought an Unbound toy and posted about it, a friend reached out to ask how they liked it. 

"I remember being surprised that someone who I considered to be like a normie or local (not that either is bad) would be open about sex toys," they said through Instagram DMs. "Which made me feel like it was probably super widely accepted now." 

Normalizing masturbation through memes

The fact that Unbound advertises through meme accounts is so smart because it not only normalizes sex toys in a humorous, approachable way, but because it presents them on the ground level. Sure, masturbation can be a sexy experience for personal awakening and empowerment, but it can also be something you do when you're bored. 

The memes depict masturbation as any other kind of self care, like popping on a face mask or blasting your favorite album. They aren't necessarily presented as wholesome — but the fact that so many of the memes are about spending a night smoking weed and flicking the bean out of boredom or distress is what makes masturbating seem so normal. 

By establishing a presence through Instagram memes, Unbound gets around Instagram's draconian rules for images surrounding female pleasure and also finds its way right into the lap of young people who are over cis men getting to have all the fun. 

"Meme accounts earn the respect of their audience because to be funny is difficult," Rodriguez concluded. 

She notes that not everyone can nail down the art of meme making — if you get it, you get it, and if you don't, you don't. We've seen brands attempt to get in touch with the youth and fail miserably. But by going straight to the meme makers, Unbound lessens the risk of making an embarrassing gaff. 

Masturbating isn't a big deal. Just ask the meme accounts of Instagram.

WATCH: Co-founder of Facebook now wants it broken up

[hydrus]

Version 443

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

I had a great week doing nice cleanup and quality of life work.

Hey, we had a problem getting the macOS release to build this week. The macOS link above goes to a build using a simpler and faster method. It should work fine, but please let me know if you have any trouble. As always, back up before you update!

highlights

Popup messages can now launch complex jobs from a button. The first I've added is when a subscription hits its 'periodic' file limit. The situation itself is now better explained, and a button on the popup will create a new downloader page with the specific query set up with an appropriate file limit to fill in the gap. The second is if you try to upload some content to a repository that your account does not have permission for (this is affecting sibling- and parent-uploading PTR users as the shared public account is changing), the popup message that talks about the issue now has a button that takes you straight to the manage services panel for the service and starts automatic account creation.

Subs should now be more careful about determining when they have 'caught up' to a previous sync. Small initial file limits are respected more, and the 'caught up' check is now more precise with sites that can give multiple files per URL or very large gallery pages.

I gave options->speed and memory a full pass. The layout is less crushed and has more explanation, the options all apply without needing a client restart, and the new, previously hardcoded cache/prefetch thresholds are now exposed and explained. There's a neat thing that gives an example resolution of what will be cached or prefetched, like 'about a 7,245x4,075 image', that changes as you fiddle with the controls.

The client has recently had worse UI lag. After working with some users, the biggest problems seemed to come in a session with lots of downloaders. I traced the cause of the lag and believe I have eliminated it. If you have had lag recently, a second or two every now and then, please let me know how things are now.

If you use the Client API a lot while the client is minimised, you can now have it explicitly prohibit 'idle mode' while it is working under options->maintenance and processing.

full list

quality of life:

when subscriptions hit their 'periodic file limit', which has always been an overly technical term, the popup message now explains the situation in better language. it also now provides a button to automatically fill in the gap via a new gallery downloader page called 'subscription gap downloaders' that gets the query with a file limit five times the size of the sub's periodic download limit

I rewrote the logic behind the 'small initial sync, larger periodic sync' detection in subscription sync, improving url counting and reliability through the third, fourth, fifth etc... sync, and then generalised the test to also work without fixed file limits and for large-gallery sites like pixiv, and any site that has URLs that often produce multiple files per URL. essentially, subs now have a nice test for appropriate times to stop url-adding part way through a page (typically, a sub will otherwise always add everything up to the end of a page, in order to catch late-tagged files that have appeared out of order, but if this is done too eagerly, some types of subs perform inefficiently)

this matters for PTR accounts: if your repository account does not have permissions to upload something you have pending, the popup message talking about this now hangs around for longer (120 seconds), explains the issue better, and has a button that will take you directly to the _manage services_ panel for the service and will hit up 'check for auto-account creation'

in _manage services_, whenever you change the credentials (host, port, or access key) on a restricted service, that service now resets its account to unknown and flags for a swift account re-fetch. this should solve some annoying 'sorry, please hit refresh account in _review services_ to fix that manually' problems

a new option in maintenance and processing allows you to disable idle mode if the client api has had a request in the past x minutes. it defaults disabled

an important improvement to the main JobScheduler object, which farms out a variety of small fast jobs, now massively reduces Add-Job latency when the queue is very busy. when you have a bunch of downloaders working in the background, the UI should have much less lag now

the _options->speed and memory_ page has a full pass. the thumbnail, image, and image tile caches now have their own sections, there is some more help text, and the new but previously hardcoded 10%/25% cache and prefetch limits are now settable and have dynamic guidance text that says 'about a 7,245x4,075 image' as image cache options change

all the cache options on this page now apply instantly on dialog ok. no more client restart required!

.

other stuff, mostly specific niche work:

last week's v441->442 update now has a pre-run check for free disk space. users with large sessions may need 10GB or more of free space to do the conversion, and this was not being checked. I will now try to integrate similar checks into all future large updates

fixed last week's yandere post parser link update--the post url class should move from legacy moebooru to the new yandere parser correctly

the big maintenance tasks of duplicate file potentials search and repository processing will now take longer breaks if the database is busy or their work is otherwise taking a long time. if the client is cluttered with work, they shouldn't accidentally lag out other areas of the program so much

label update on ipfs service management panel: the server now reports 'nocopy is available' rather than 'nocopy is enabled'

label update on shortcut: 'open a new page: search page' is now '...: choose a page'

fixed the little info message dialog when clicking on the page weight label menu item on the 'pages' menu

'database is complicated' menu label is updated to 'database is stored in multiple locations'

_options->gui pages->controls_ now has a little explanatory text about autocomplete dropdowns and some tooltips

migrate database dialog has some red warning text up top and a small layout and label text pass. the 'portable?' is now 'beneath db?'

the repositery hash_id and tag_id normalisation routines have two improvements: the error now shows specific service_ids that failed to lookup, and the mass-service_hash_id lookup now handles the situation where a hash_id is mapped by more than one service_id

repository definition reprocessing now corrects bad service_id rows, which will better heal clients that previously processed bad data

the client api and server in general should be better about giving 404s on certain sorts of missing files (it could dump out with 500 in some cases before)

it isn't perfect by any means, but the autocomplete dropdown should be a _little_ better about hiding itself in float mode if the parent text input box is scrolled off screen

reduced some lag in image neighbour precache when the client is very busy

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boring code cleanup:

removed old job status 'begin' handling, as it was never really used. jobs now start at creation

job titles, tracebacks, and network jobs are now get/set in a nicer way

jobs can now store arbitrary labelled callable commands, which in a popup message becomes a labelled button

added some user callable button tests to the 'make some popups' debug job

file import queues now have the ability to discern 'master' Post URLs from those that were created in multi-file parsing

wrote the behind the scenes guts to create a new downloader page programmatically and start a subscription 'gap' query download

cleaned up how different timestamps are tracked in the main controller

next week

I am now on vacation for a week. I'm going to play vidya, shitpost the limited E3, listen to some long music, and sort out some IRL stuff.

v444 should therefore be on the 23rd. I'll do some more cleanup work and push on multiple local file services.

Thank you for your support!

[league-of-light]

Brandon Bowers Presents: Your End of Season Awards Show!

League of Light Awards 2017

[big, flashing lights, awesome cinematic opening, camera pans the crowd to see all the celebrities, then cuts to the stage where the host finally walked on]

Bowers: (waits for the cheering to calm down) Welcome everyone to the 2017 League of Light Awards Ceremony (more cheering). I’m your host, Bowers (someone in the crowd yells “I love you Bowers”). I love you too, whoever you are. (Crowd erupts in laughter). Tonight, we have ten categories to crown victors in so let’s hop to it shall we (Bowers makes a hopping motion on stage which inexplicably goes over great)? Please help me in welcoming our first set of announcers for the night, Will Guy and Ace!

[Crowd cheers as Will carries Ace onto the stage, followed by an audible “aww” because Ace is wearing the cutest little tux]

Will: Uh, hi everyone. Our first category of the night is Rookie of the Year. And the nominees are: Sam (camera cuts to Sam looking just lovely) Nico (camera focuses on Nico who throws up a hand sign that looks gangster as fuck) and Andy (Andy looks directly into the camera and raises his champagne glass). And the winner is (Ace then proceeds to try and eat the envelope to which Will has to stop) . . .  stop that Ace . . . the winner is Sam!

[Sam, looking slightly shocked, comes up on stage and proceeds to accept the award from Will and give a great thank you speech. If you didn’t like Sam before, you do now. Harnsowl and the real-life Jack Daniels then arrive on stage as the next set of announcers. Everyone notices Harnsowl has two drinks, one in each hand. Harnsowl attempts to read the category but is slurring his words too much.]

Jack Daniels: Lemme take over for ya partner [Note: Jack Daniels is a cowboy here. Just go with it] The nominees for the Best Duo in the platonic division are: Will & Sam (shot of the two of them backstage for they were just on stage), Dylan & Evan (shot of Dylan looking grumpy as fuck in his seat while Evan looks disheveled and unkempt), and Phil & the K8(0)’s (shot of Phil with both K8’s but Phil attempts to get in the camera man’s face, so the cut is a quick one). And the winner is . . .  Dylan & Evan!

[Dylan begrudgingly walks to stage and Evan lags behind. Evan takes up most of the victory speech, specifically thanking his mom multiple times. Dylan then steps up to the podium and audibly sighs and then says, “Fuck Bowers.” The crowd boos Dylan but cheers Evan who is still super excited he won something. Arielle and Blake Bortles are the next set of announcers.]

Arielle: Hi everyone! The nominees for Best Duo in the non-platonic division are: Will & Todd Gurley (shot of Will and Todd Gurley sitting together), Jason & Carson Wentz (shot of Jason holding a sign that says “I <3 Carson” (Note: Carson Wentz had to file a restraining order against Jason and did not attend the event)), and Harnsowl & Cam Newton (camera guy could only find Harnsowl, who is now on his fifth drink of the night). And the winner is . . . Will & Todd Gurley!

[Will and Todd make it on stage. Blake attempts to throw Todd the award but got intercepted. Todd proceeds to talk about the Rams a lot. Will just smile and nods. John Cena and the ghost of Paul Walker are the next set of announcers. John Cena’s music plays loudly for longer than you’d expect]

Paul Walker: Hi everyone. I am so glad that I am back and can see you again (John Cena then does his “you can’t see me” hand motion). The nominees for Most Improbable League Moment are: Phil making the playoffs (the camera guy refuses to get close to Phil again), Nico making a trade after the Dez-J-Quizz Fiasco (Nico laughs at the nominee but deep down he hates that he’s on this list) and Walsh making a comment in the league chat (you think Walsh showed up to this? HA!) And the winner is . . . Phil making the playoffs!

[Phil eagerly runs on stage but starts talking gibberish. The only word someone could make out was “content” Security promptly whisks Phil off stage as our next set of announcers come on stage, the Wettjes.]

Jason: Hi everyone. The nominees for Most Valuable Content in the image division are: Dylan for “Bowers did Benghazi” (Dylan looks grumpier than grumpy cat now. I bet it’s cause he’s sick), Bowers for “Danny’s Thoughts on Jury Duty (shot of the host looking marvelous as always) and Will for “The League as the Fast & Furious Crew” (another shot of Will who is posing with both thumbs up). Before I announce the winner, I just wanna say, Carson I love you, you’re my every- [Sam rips the card away from Jason, cutting him off in the process] Sam: The winner is Will! 

[Will comes on stage, again, and this time gives an emotional thank you speech, thanking everyone for enjoying his artwork. The host, Bowers, comes back to the stage.]

Bowers: How is everyone doing still? (crowd “woos” in excitement) Y’all enjoying the show? (more “woos”) (Bowers proceeds to tell a joke and it’s hilarious – trust me) We wanna take a moment and give out our lifetime achievement award. This goes to someone who has been there for the league since the beginning. He makes content weekly and deserves some praise. The Lifetime Achievement Award this year goes to Dylan Feldman everyone!

[Dylan comes back on stage, finally getting the acknowledgement he deserves. When Bowers hands him the award, he goes in for the hug. Dylan did not expect it and is now hugging Bowers. Dylan feels warm and fuzzy inside but will never admit it. Dylan then gives a speech about his content and ends it with a “Fuck Andy” because he remembered that one-time Andy got snippy with him about the weekly rankings]

[the next set of announcers are Godzooky and Godzilla. Unfortunately, neither one speaks English (they’re from Japan) so I’ll just tell you that Evan won the Most Valuable Content in the written division for “Phil’s Uber Erotica.” Bowers and Andy lost out. Evan goes and gives some long-winded speech about something, I don’t know, I stopped listening]

[John Madden and Al Michaels come to the stage next. They proceed to announce the nominees for Most Valuable Content in the football division. They explain to everyone that the nominees are Dylan for his trade deadline extravaganza, Phil for his Yahoo league shitposting, and Will for the Ram it Remix. They announce that Dylan won. Dylan accepts and yadda yadda. Dylan probably gives a speech too, but I wasn’t listening to this either. Dylan and Will announce the next award, so Dylan stays on stage as Will comes back]

Dylan: This next award is important to the league. It shows how awful some of you are. You all make me regret playing fantasy football. I hope each and everyone one of you gets an itch on your back you cannot reach. The nominees for Least Valuable Player are: Harnsowl (Harnsowl is not passed out in his seat from drinking too much), Arielle (Arielle ran off with Bortles, so she had her assistant sit in for her instead), and Phil (no one wants to see Phil again, c’mon). And the winner is . . . wow shocker it’s Arielle and she’s not even here to claim her award. 

[Arielle’s assistant grabs the award, but it takes her forever to do so because she thinks Christmas is in March. Dumb bitch. Any who, Andy and Kyle make their way on stage to announce the next award. Kyle makes a championship belt motion with his hands as to signal that he will be champ next year (because he’s totes in the league next year, right? Right?)  Andy attempts to announce the nominees, but Kyle cuts him off]

Kyle: Shut up Andy, you can’t even TP correctly. The nominees for Most Valuable Player in the chat division are: Sam, Jason, and Phil (Note: the camera guy had to take a piss so no cut aways). And the winner is Phil. 

[Phil comes on stage, cocky as ever, to receive his award, but as Kyle hands it to him HE STONE COLD STUNNERS HIM!!!! BY GAWD WHAT A MASSACRE!! Someone from the crowd then throws Kyle two beers to which he chugs and then crushes the empties on his head. Andy carries Phil off stage.]

[The host, Bowers, comes back on stage to introduce a very special announcer . . . Thorg! The crowd is so pleased to see Thorg because Thorg is the coolest. Oh, and Steve Harvey is there too.]

Thorg: This last award for puny humans. Thorg hungry, Thorg (the crowd then joins along with Thorg and finishes the saying with a loud “Thorg want eat!”) Nominees for Most Valuable Player in the football division are: Will (the camera cuts to Will who’s looking a little tense now as he’s anxious to see if he can win another award), Walsh (yeah, he’s still not here so instead the camera guy focuses in on the cardboard cutout of Walsh we found in the back) and Nico (Nico WANTS this one badly). Winner is . . . (Steve Harvey then cuts in)

Steve Harvey: And the winner is Walsh! (Steve Harvey then realizes he got it wrong) Uhh I have to apologize . . . 

[Thorg then ENRAGES at Steve Harvey’s actions and cuts him down with his mighty great axe. Those in the front rows got blood splattered on them like this was a Gwar concert. The crowd cheers Thorg on as he takes multiple swings at the now lifeless Harvey. Thorg then regains his composure and announces the real winner.]

Thorg: Winner is Dungeon Master himself, Nico!

[Nico walks on stage, walking gingerly to avoid the blood. He gives the best speech of the night thanking his loved ones and condemning his haters. He then promises a championship for his boys back in Houston. Bowers, the host, comes back to the stage and embraces Nico. He raises his hand in victory like a boxer at the end of a match]

Bowers: That’s all we got for you today folks! Thank you for coming to the League of Light Awards 2017. Until next time!

[Fin.]