#haven't really been able to give my therapist an answer about how the cancer diagnosis makes me FEEL
Text
(i need you to listen)
i do not want this body (my body is failing)
skin me like a basilisk (my body is failing)
electric cross to touch somebody (my body is failing)
justify my temperament
#i think I'm finally starting to Feel actual emotions over my health situation rn#I'll probably delete or archive this later whatever but it's midnight and I'm tired so#haven't really been able to give my therapist an answer about how the cancer diagnosis makes me FEEL#but these past few days.... I'm starting to unlock it. this song in particular and aphids#I'm just angry. so fucking angry#i already did this shit once when i was a literal child. i thought i could finally leave those days behind#and now here i am back getting poisoned from the inside out. nearly ten years later. what the fuck#i was finally getting my fucking life together man. i had a PLAN for my future for the first time in years#literally accepted an internship the week before they gave me the diagnosis#i was so ready to start building my career and to finish my degree.#it's just not fucking fair. and i know that nothing can change that and that i just have to push through#but it still just makes me so pissed. I've been through ENOUGH. i finally had PEACE#honestly lol wish i knew how to do uncleans so i could scream the fuck out of this song#anyway moping doesn't help but. i didn't realize just how angry i am right now#I've been so depressed and irritated the past few days and i think this stuff is just weighing on me#plus my parents are struggling with it a lot too and that gives me so much anxiety#I'm tired of being sick and never in a million years did i think my cancer would come back#the world keeps clipping my wings right when i start to dream a little#negative#round 2#Spotify
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