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#i was so ready to start building my career and to finish my degree.
maraeffect · 2 years
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(i need you to listen)
i do not want this body (my body is failing)
skin me like a basilisk (my body is failing)
electric cross to touch somebody (my body is failing)
justify my temperament
#i think I'm finally starting to Feel actual emotions over my health situation rn#I'll probably delete or archive this later whatever but it's midnight and I'm tired so#haven't really been able to give my therapist an answer about how the cancer diagnosis makes me FEEL#but these past few days.... I'm starting to unlock it. this song in particular and aphids#I'm just angry. so fucking angry#i already did this shit once when i was a literal child. i thought i could finally leave those days behind#and now here i am back getting poisoned from the inside out. nearly ten years later. what the fuck#i was finally getting my fucking life together man. i had a PLAN for my future for the first time in years#literally accepted an internship the week before they gave me the diagnosis#i was so ready to start building my career and to finish my degree.#it's just not fucking fair. and i know that nothing can change that and that i just have to push through#but it still just makes me so pissed. I've been through ENOUGH. i finally had PEACE#honestly lol wish i knew how to do uncleans so i could scream the fuck out of this song#anyway moping doesn't help but. i didn't realize just how angry i am right now#I've been so depressed and irritated the past few days and i think this stuff is just weighing on me#plus my parents are struggling with it a lot too and that gives me so much anxiety#I'm tired of being sick and never in a million years did i think my cancer would come back#the world keeps clipping my wings right when i start to dream a little#negative#round 2#Spotify
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snickerduu · 9 months
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Hi! How long did it take for you to become a web developer? Did you study by yourself or in uni?
Rn trying front end, but it seems that it will take years before my inattentive ass will actually be ready for the market
i finished my bachelor's degree in computer science earlier this year !! :)
but i personally don't think it's necessary when it comes to web development! i think in this scenario a portfolio would be more important. my uni studies were more theoretical (so i could potentially go into a research career but i dont really want to HAHA) over application, so i learned web dev through an internship! my supervisors + the internet helped me out 🐛
it took me around a month to settle in properly, but i still learn new things every day definitely hehe
++ you can build your portfolio with small web apps!! try starting w/small projects like your portfolio site, a task list, or a GPA calculator ^_^ more ideas will eventually come! if you're not sure what to do, you can also try recreating popular sites for practice to build knowledge 🧠
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pumpumdemsugah · 1 year
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My ADHD medication is getting delivered in a few days
Can't wait to focus again and remember to exercise. I keep trying to operate without my meds like that's not the reason I went uni twice
Also I think I know where I want to specialise In my career ☺️ so I know what skills I need to work on and I'll see if I can bully my workplace into paying for certain certificates for me lol because I don't another degree and mentally I'm not ready for a master's. I should have done my masters after finishing my degree but whatever. Before I'm 40 or 36 I'll get a master's
I need to email our new department leader and get involved in this group so I can start skilling up and building my knowledge base
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myhumanexperience · 3 months
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I don’t find myself to be reliable. This time I don’t mean not showing up when I’m supposed to or things alike. I mean that I can’t trust myself anymore. I can’t count on myself. I don’t believe myself and maybe I don’t believe in myself. This is not new but I’ve had better moments of trusting myself in the past. Right now I’m having a particularly hard time doing so.
Sometimes when I make decisions, I become so consumed by the idea of that decision that it becomes unquestionable. I am quick to jump to a final conclusion. In some way I am easily convinced. But that’s quite contradictory because I also overthink everything. I guess that makes me feel never fully convinced of anything.
Anyways, the point is that I have a decision to make and I’m already convinced of what to do. There’s no reason to entertain the other side. I’m ready and I’ve made up my mind. But I can’t trust my mind with that. I am realizing my cycle. My pattern that I can’t get out of. I leave school because I realize I hate it and it takes up my energy in ways I don’t want it to and also I don’t actually know what I want to do in school, then I’m happy for a bit without school until I realize how bored I am and I start to worry about making it in life/being successful. And suddenly schools sounds great. I’m back in school, I’m motivated as ever, I’m ready to go for it all, then I start realizing how hard it is and how I don’t know what I even want from school. And then, I’m back in the loop.
I have a bad habit of never finishing things and it makes me feel horrible about myself. It feels like…a bad habit. It nags at my perfectionism and it’s dissatisfying.
So now im stuck. The right and satisfying answer is to stay in school and finish a degree.
The answer that I’m ready to make is to leave and pursue a career already.
Although the idea of staying in school feels right, I can’t help but think about how I cannot see myself graduating. But if I don’t stay in school, I worry I will feel stuck and I’ll never progress. I worry I’ll never make it and honestly I don’t believe that I can commit to the dedication building a career without a degree. But then I think about actually graduating and how regardless of a degree or not, I will have to build a career. I just have the choice of starting now or later.
The careers that most interest me don’t need a degree. They might help but they don’t need one. The ones I’m interested now at least. They are all mostly self-built and purely experiential.
So then I think, why am I in school. Things like skill-share exist and getting certification at technical schools exist.
I feel sometimes that school a safety net or some extra time to avoid actually doing anything. I guess I kinda feel that with a degree, a career will be set out for me. That things would be easier and I’d have to do less hard work. But I forget that school is hard work. It’s a different kind of dedication than not going to school. They are not competitive. Not going school and building a career is experiential and hands on. Going to school to build a career is mental and intellectual.
I think that this is good but I think that regardless of a degree or not, I will eventually have to work to build my career. I recently feel as though school is kinda stopping me from the actual experience. School is all theory. So you’re motivated by the theoretical idea of a career. For some people, that’s enough. While I am in school, I feel like I am being allowed too much space to ponder about what I want to do, leaving my stuck, overwhelmed and overworked. I am sorry of forced to think about my future and the long-term.
Idk if this is a bad thing but I don’t think I want to think long term anymore. I want to do things simply because I enjoy them now and then it may take me wherever it will. I am just tired of being so concerned for things that are not in my control right now. My future taunts me and I’m tired of thinking about it all the time. I want my life now to be about my life now. I want to experience more and see what I like and what I don’t. I don’t want to theorize about what I like, I want to experience it. I just want to be here, now and in this moment.
Right now, I am interested in event planning and event coordinating and creative directing. So I want to try it. I don’t want to sit in a classroom and learn about it, I want to experience it already. I want to start moving already. I am tired of the stagnancy.
I appreciate learning and am very passionate about learning things in an organized way but if I want to do that again, maybe I’ll do something more short term like a diploma, a certificate or skill share. I think I’ve learned the most career advancing things through my actual tangible experiences, not so much through school. Just working at Lou’s has taught me so much. Going to vici and trying to be a skincare person taught me what I don’t want in a job. Doing a podcast taught me what I love about video creating and what I hate. These hands on experiences have brought me the most valuable information about what I want in a career.
I just think I might learn better from experience. I’ve read about things my whole life in preparation for things and in fear of the thing. I’ve been reading about things my whole life instead of experiencing these things. I think I’m just getting tired of reading and wondering. I want to do things. School keeps me safe from the scariest journey I think. Which is actually taking everything I learned and doing it.
I think this decision makes sense to me. I think if I am going to leave school, I should leave on a good note and good effort.
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himadrics · 10 months
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વેવિશાળ [Vevishal]
(My Feminist Commentary Part - 4/5)
"મુસ્કાન બવ માથાભારે છે!"
Translation: "Muskan is too headstrong!"
said my ex father-in-law while returning my stuff back to my family. Sharing my mother's optimism that I could do both, build an ambitious career and not put my personal life on hold, I had agreed to getting married to my boyfriend of five years. There is a photo album in my cupboard which holds the memories of my engagement ceremony on glossy paper. There is also a પાનેતર [Panetar] (traditional Gujarati Saree for bride) in the same cupboard that I planned to wear on the day of my wedding. However, that day never came!
Getting married is quite common and considered a bit too important in India. The divorce rate for Indian marriages is also very low. Hence most of the Indians get married and stay together for the rest of their lives. While dating and marrying for love is becoming more popular, arranged marriages are still prevalent in India. In my family, all marriages are arranged marriages and I am the first person who dated openly.
I was about to finish high-school and turn 18 when I had my first ever conversation about dating with my parents. It was a summer evening and we were enjoying some cold drinks on the balcony of our small apartment. My mother was recounting her experiences about getting marriage proposals as soon as she had turned eighteen. "It put બાપુજી [Bapuji] (my grandfather) in an awkward position when people would keep asking for my hand in marriage before I was ready. But things have changed now. No one is going to bother us by asking for your hand until you graduate from college." she said. "I don't think that I will get married that way." I said. "How do you plan to get married then?" asked my father curiously. "I am going to date!" I replied. "But that is not our culture!" said my mother, refusing to engage with the idea any further. "We will see." said my father without showing condemnation. I wondered about બા [Ba] (my grandmother)'s reaction as she was not present during the conversation. It is important to note that at the age of 17, I was convinced that someday I am supposed to get married. I was not questioning the notion of marriages but just the tradition of arranged marriages.
Universities are a great place for learning as well as for romance. And I did both ;). He was the lead guitarist in our garage band and he also made me laugh (so cliché!). But the important thing about him was that he never treated me differently for being a woman. I was his co-guitarist in the band and his batch-mate at the university. I was his peer and he always treated me like it.
Women are not treated as equals in most of the marriages that I have seen. Young women are often told to compromise against the discrimination that comes with the wedding traditions and the married life. Either they get used to the discrimination or they have to put up with a lifelong hustle to achieve their equality. However, I had high hopes about achieving an equal partnership in my marriage. I always saw my boyfriend as my equal. We grew up in the same city, came from the same socioeconomic class, went to the same university and graduated with the same degrees. We were equals in every sense. So when it came to marriage, I expected him to bring his solid 50% and I was not willing to do more than my 50% just because I am a woman.
I am happy about the fact that we sustained equality in our relationship while we dated. But when it came to marriage, I started receiving a lot of discrimination in the name of wedding traditions and expectation from a wife and a daughter-in-law. Having zero tolerance for gender based discrimination in my personal life, I obviously protested against it. Unfortunately, my protests failed. Unwilling to settle for anything less than being treated like an equal, I had to call off the wedding. It is important to note that for the first time ever in my life I started questioning the notion of marriage in my mid 20s thanks to this incident.
બા never got equality in her marriage and my mother too hasn't achieved it completely. My boyfriend and I had equality as long as we stayed boyfriend and girlfriend, but it got thrown out of the window as soon as we decided to become husband and wife. It is quite absurd that this small change in our titles was powerful enough to make such a big difference in our relationship.
Calling off a wedding primarily because you failed at sustaining an equal partnership is quite an unusual reason in my social circle. I have seen many examples where women had to make compromises for marriage, and I have seen no examples where a woman challenged the sexist traditions at the risk of not getting married. I did not win but I am proud that I protested. Instead of asking me to compromise, my family respected my feminist ideas and stood by me. I see that as a huge milestone in the women's condition in my family.
When people get to know about my feminist crusade for equality in wedding traditions and marriages, I generally get two kinds of reactions. Some people react with "Wow! That is brave!" and the others call me nuts :p. Most of the people in my social circle claim that India is not there yet when it comes to equality within marriages. "But why not?" I ask. Despite going to the same school, writing the same exams, competing for getting admission in the same universities, taking the same courses, graduating with the same degrees, working on building the same skills, competing for the same jobs, begging the same salaries, paying the same taxes on our income, why are we still allowing men the ages old special treatment when it comes to marriages? Why even the couples who managed to date as equals fail to remain equals when it comes to marriages?
I paid attention to married women under the age of 40 at a recent social gathering. Most of them were in charge of providing care for their children and in-laws with little to no help from their husbands. For these women it was simply out of scope to take care of themselves, their diet and exercising. Some of these women had already become obese. Having chronic pain in their neck, back, knee, etc. was quite common among the group. These women were struggling with basic health and well-being even before turning 40. Married women are deemed to be in such a condition when their husbands fail to bring in their 50% in the marriage.
Just like Cricket, you can not escape marriages in India. Everyone whom I know from school and university, is either already married or about to get married. Unlike cricket, I still take a keen interest in marriages, because a marriage is the perfect sport to gauge a woman's condition. I still often go to cheer for my favorite teams when they tie the knot. But after facing injuries from a foul play and getting betrayed by the third umpire, I do not play anymore. Now I instead sit in the commentary box and enjoy the sport from a safe distance!
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eucalyprhodes · 10 months
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Today, I was reminded of my dream job and how that quickly turned into my nightmare 😅
I think I've talked about the what and why I pursued it and why I left. But I don't think I've ever talked about the absolute stage of desperation that I was in. I think because frankly, I am embarrassed ... and you'll see why.
January 2021, on my last semester of grad school, I FINALLY got a job interview with a local private Christian University. For context, I have gotten interviews from this university for 2 different roles prior. and both interviews, I have already made it to the final stage. Both roles however, were not academic advisor, so the rejection, though painful, was still bearable. January 2021 was the very first academic advising interview that I had since I started on this journey. Unfortunately, this time, I didn't even make it to the second and third interview. I guess my first interview was not that great? (2 years later, I found out via LinkedIn that my interviewer ended up being let go from the institution. That was eerie). I was so done with this university though.
June 2021, I had just finished grad school and had such high hopes. I thought this time, I surely will get to be an academic advisor. I have years of relevant experience, I have my shiny masters degree, I'm ready! I got an interview with one of my dream university for an academic advisor for the college of business. GREAT! I love business students, I have toured the business building so often, I was so excited for it. I went through 3 rounds of interview only to get rejected yet again. At this time, I have already feeling all the pain and emotion from 5 years of rejection, so I actually wrote an email to the DIRECTOR of that department, asking why I didn't get the job! She gave me some weird roundaround answer that didn't make sense to me at all. Oh , and this whole process took about 2 months so there's that.
September 2021, another interview with the same university from June! Academic Counselor for a special population program. I was so excited because I thought this is exactly what I was hoping for! I'll get to work with underserved, first-gen students and this is exactly why I got into advising! I went through three rounds of interviews and by first week of October, I'm just waiting ..
I remember doing this embarrassing thing. On Sundays, I would drop off my husband at church because he serves and I'd go to the second service. While waiting for second service to start, I would drive to the campus because it's nearby, I would park and literally, PRAY over the school. I would pray loudly and boldly (in my car though), I cried and prayed and cried again. It was my alone time with God to really be honest and cry out to him. I think one time, campus security almost approached me but I saw them coming so I left right away. I figured I have nothing to lose so this is my last desperate attempt to get God to finally give me what i want.
and He did! He loves me that much that He graciously gave me this one thing that I wanted in the past 5 years. Only to find out almost immediately, that this career is not for me and I will never be happy and fulfilled here.
Why did I share this?
Because I want you to know that God does answer prayers, even for things that He knows will not be good for us BUT He knows we'll learn from it. Why didn't God just prevent me from getting my dream job if He knew I won't like it anyways? Because He knows that without that job, I would not be where I am today. He knows that I needed to be in that job, to see the reality of how that career pathway does not align with mine anymore, and because He knew this experience would bring a new perspective in my life, one that would grow my faith in Him. Our God is so good and smart, and today, I was reminded of that.
This is an excerpt from Pastor Jack Hibbs' book
"If what you want is against what God wants but you keep harping on it (basically NAGGING God for it), eventually, you'll probably get it. When you get it, it will be your demise, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself"
If I didn't experience the biggest disappointment in my professional life, I wouldn't return back to HR. If I didn't experience this, my faith journey would be different. God knows every moment of my life and He perfectly crafted this time so that I can grow to trust Him more.
and now, I need to apply it to this season of trusting God about my desire to conceive. These past few months have been difficult to say the least, learning how to deal with my feelings and emotions over the fact that everyone else gets pregnant (might I add, not even struggling to be one) while my husband and I have making all conscious efforts to get pregnant. However, recently, I came to realize AND remember, what we ask doesn't always come into fruition and that is okay because God knows what's best for us.
If I nag and beg and cry out to God for a child right now, He probably will eventually give me one but it might not be the best thing for me in that season. And I know in my heart deep down, we're not ready for a child. Financially, emotionally, spiritually. There's a lot of things I need to work on before accepting the greatest and hardest responsibility in this earth. So today, I can peacefully say I understand. Whether a child will come into my life or not, I understand because it's God's plan and God has the final say. I don't want to force my desire on God, I don't want to force my timeline on God because He is in full control and I am okay with it.
If you have been struggling with unanswered prayers, just know that God knows what He's doing, EVEN IF it is so heckin HARD sometimes. Do you know how many times I cried in August because of pregnancy announcements around me? too much to count LOL But they all had to happen, because they brought me down to my knees, and that's when I find comfort in our Lord, Jesus Christ.
I hope this blog encourages you <3
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crookedtreepoetry · 2 years
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authornina · 3 years
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The Tassle Worth the Hassle: Congratulations Sav!👨🏾‍🎓
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***THIS HAS NOT BEEN THROUGH A TYPICAL EDITING PROCESS; ALL SHORTS ARE ROUGH DRAFTS***
Chi kept standing up screaming Sav’s name when it got quiet and he ducked his head like he didn’t know who the hell her crazy ass was. She was doing it to purposely embarrass him. 
“Sit your ass down!” Ivy whispered. “You making us all look crazy!” 
“I love you Dayvion! I’m so proud of you baby!” Chi said one last thing before taking her seat.
The ceremony was long and many people in the stadium started becoming drowsy. Thank goodness they didn’t bring any of their children because no way could a bunch of two and one-year olds sit through this.
After two hours of honoring specific students, and guest speakers, Sav was up. He was graduating Summa Cum Laude and Lake couldn’t have been prouder. He and some other students were sitting on the stage. They’d been chosen to represent the student body because they held the highest distinctions amongst their peers. Of the three who’d held the highest distinctions, they voted and chose him to give the speech. 
When Sav stood up the whole class erupted. He was popular on campus not only as a ladies man but the weed man as well. They absolutely loved him. He was one of the few African Americans that attended the prestigious university, so it was easy to stand out. 
“Why are they goin’ up for my husband like this?” Chi asked, being drowned out by the amount of cheering happening for Sav. 
“Chill, y’all,” Sav said over the mic. “Dean Lee said she not for my shit—” he slipped up and everyone laughed. “I mean stuff today.”
The Dean who was also black shook her head at his use of language, but she knew how Dayvion Porter, which she addressed him as could be. They’d had several run ins over the course of his college career. The young man with tattoos galore, foul mouth and pants off his ass was indeed by measure the smartest one in the sea of thousands of students. She wanted this young black scholar to have his moment even in its rawness. This was black excellence being shown at a PWI and she was proud nonetheless. 
“Ummm…everybody know I ain’t wanna do this.” Sav did not try to sound intelligent or put on for nobody. They wanted him to give this speech he was going to do it as him. Educated and all, he was true to himself. “I told Dean Lee I would be honest and y’all still chose me so here we go…” 
“Fucking right bro!” A white guy shouted from the crowd. 
“I know a lot of us struggled to make it to this stage. Not only the amount of work we had to put in to make it here but the pressure, financial restraints, family issues, our mental incapacities at times…a lot more goes into just getting a degree. Picking something you can actually apply and let’s be honest, make money from in this nut ass world. Shout out to y’all who got art degrees, it’s about to be hell,” Sav said honestly and the audience died of laughter. “I know some of y’all personally who went through some of this. To be honest, ion know what it look like. I couldn’t relate because I didn’t have those problems. Y’all probably thought I’m the made it out the hood specialty case. I had a big brother who not only kept pushing me to finish but made sure I didn’t have not one worry while doing it, so this was a breeze for me actually. I don’t need no college degree, but I did this for one person and one person only. My brother Lake. I wanna honor him with this because a lot of the great people, the ones behind the scenes who never get recognized are the real ones that make it happen. I was able to run a whole business, get married, have kids, live my life stress free. He gave me what I know a lot of people who look like me never get. A peace of mind. A care-free life, the tools I needed to be successful and I thank him for that every day.” Sav was looking right at Lake. “My brother the reason why I get to stand here right now…so this to the single moms out here doing it all on their own that got their kids to this day, to the dads working day and night to pay for tuitions, the grandparents, siblings, aunties and uncles who put their all into a kid to see them do better. If it wasn’t for y’all, I’m sure we wouldn’t be up in here falling asleep and waiting to hear our name called for a degree we couldn’t have gotten without y’all.” 
Although the ceremony wasn’t done after Sav’s speech all the students felt every word he said and so did the families there to support them. 
“Wait…” Dean Lee got up ready to stop them but it was too late all the graduates were up on their feet, throwing their caps in the air. It was like a big party started. It took twenty minutes to get everything settled then the degrees were finally handed out. 
“Dayvion Porter,” they called Sav’s name to receive his degree and it went crazy again. 
“That’s it!” the president of the school got up waving his hands then shouted in the mic. “Everyone please sit down!”                                                       ******* Lake waited patiently, watching Sav bump fists with a bunch of people because he wasn’t about to touch all them hands. He stood in his robe, medals and cords around his neck looking like a true scholar. He admired the hell out of his little brother. Not even for finishing but remaining authentic and true to himself during the process. Sav had his moments but everything he set out to accomplish, had been done. Lake couldn’t and wouldn’t ask anymore of him.
“You proud of me?” Sav asked, coming towards him with his arms out for hug.
“So proud man,” Lake smiled, embracing his baby brother. “I’m so fuckin’ proud.” 
“Thank you, where the fuck everybody go?” 
“Home, they didn’t want to stay around for the crowd and all the traffic.”
“Now you know that’s fucked up. Even my own wife? All this and them niggas dip on me? Take me home to my kids. Nobody better not say shit to me.”
“Chill, I wanted you to take a ride with me.”  
“Ion even feel like it.” Sav’s feelings were hurt. His whole family was worried about beating traffic than his big day. It upset him more because he didn’t even care about it as much as they did.
They had to get all of his gifts professors, the school, students and others got for him. Sav indeed was their favorite. Someone even gave him basketball season tickets. Once they were in the car Lake did his best not to laugh. Sav was really upset. 
“Why the fuck we here?” 
Lake pulled into to the strip club they used to frequent and Sav knew something was up now. His brother wasn’t allowed to be a hundred feet of no strippers per his wife’s rules. Only if she was DJing did Avery let him enter the building.
“Because I thought it would cheer you up.” 
“I told you I don’t feel like shit no more. Them niggas fucked my mood up. Especially, Chi, she really dipped on me. Her fuckin’ muscle head ass better hope ion divorce her.”
“Sav, relax, nigga,” Lake laughed lighting a blunt then passing it to him. “Hassan would be proud of you man.”
“Yea…” Sav put his head back blowing out smoke. “I be thinkin’ bout Daddy a lot.” 
“Me too, all the time actually…I wish he would’ve made it, seen you today. It’s moments like this that make life worth living.” Lake stared out the window. After a few seconds of silence, he reached in the back seat and handed Sav an envelope. 
“What’s this?” 
“I ain’t know what to get a nigga that got it all for a graduation gift.” 
“Aw man…” Sav looked at all the papers and got emotional. 
Lake knew it bothered him that he didn’t know where he came from for sure. He couldn’t do a traditional testing since their father was deceased and had been cremated. But there was sibling DNA test and because Sav, Lake, Vant and Wreck didn’t share the same mother, it was easy to get proof. If he wasn’t Hassan’s he’d have not an ounce of relation to them.  
“Sav even if that shit ain’t say what we already knew it wouldn’t have made you any less my brother. I hope you know that.” 
“Thanks man,” Sav dapped Lake up and he pulled him in for a hug.
“Why the fuck y’all sittin’ in here cuddling and shit?” Wreck was about to get in the back, but Lake had car seats. “Nigga, Avery whip don’t have nothing in it. I swear you and Vant the wives.” 
“Fuck you nigga,” Lake pushed him getting out the car. “Stop takin’ your anger out on everybody. I told you come talk to me, you wanna hide out and shit. Think Daly ain’t tell me the bullshit you been on.” 
“I ain’t got nothing to say, and Daly a nut for bringin’ shit to you like I’m not a grown ass man! It’s fuck everything and that’s on my Daddy.” Wreck walked over and dapped Sav up. “I’m proud of you nigga.” 
“Are you really bro?” 
“Yea! Ion mean to be so hard on you. I apologize. Just…you know I’m dealin’ with my own shit right now, but I love you man.”
“I know, it’s cool, I love you too.” Sav felt bad for his brother. Wreck didn’t know which way he was going. It had spread about Gia breaking up with him. A simple, I don’t want to be with you anymore, was all the reason she gave him. That’s all he got from her. Wreck opened himself up to a woman for the last time. 
“Let’s go in here, I can’t be out for long or A will come lookin’ for me.” 
“Cause you a whipped ass—” 
“Y’all keep saying that,” Lake laughed, cutting Wreck off. “But I’m happy as fuck. I have no resistance in letting love take over me anymore.” 
“And you know what? I am genuinely jealous and that ain’t even me bro.” 
“Wreck,” Lake stopped walking. “I’m for real, come talk to me. Tomorrow, nigga.” 
“Everything already fucked up, bro. Gia will never be with me again.” 
“How?” Sav asked.
“Ion wanna talk about it.” 
“What the hell is taking so long?!” Chi pushed the door open. 
“Fuck is you doing here?” Sav looked at Lake confused. “I did not ask to come here, Chi. Lake brought me. I was on the way home.” He started defending himself immediately. 
“Get in here, Dayvion.” Chi pulled him along and it was dark as hell on the inside.
“SURPRISE!” the lights, loud ass music and cheering all happened at the same time. The whole club was decorated in his school colors with a big ass banner congratulating him. Everybody was holding cutouts of Sav’s head from his graduation photo. 
“You did this for me?” Sav wanted to cry.
“Mhm…” 
“I love you,” Sav kissed her all the way down on the couch. 
“Stop Sav!” Chi laughed. “My dress is comin’ up! You doin’ all this in front of people!” 
“Can I give my brother a hug now?” Dem asked and they let each other go. “I’m proud of you bul.” 
“Thank you.” Sav hugged Dem longer than he did his own wife. Chi was over trying to get in between something that Sav needed to literally survive, to breathe and have good days. They were working through a lot of things and as long as he prioritized her and their children then he could love on Dem all he wanted. 
“I’m so proud of you, boo boo,” Ivy said kissing her baby all over. 
“Ard come on with all that shit,” Vant tore them apart. “We got a surprise for you later,” he whispered making Sav laugh.
“Shout out to my young nigga Sav! Congratulations bro!” DJ AP shouted in the mic sounding like a nigga making everybody crack the fuck up. She was barely six weeks post-partum and came out to party for her favorite person much to Lake’s dismay. “This one for you baby!” Avery pointed at him then played Nicki Minaj Moment for Life. Sav wouldn’t openly admit he was a fan. 
“No, I'm not lucky, I'm blessed, yes, clap for the heavyweight champ, me! But I couldn't do it all alone, we!” Sav jumped on all his brothers. The moment was so nice. “Lake Porter raised me,” he remixed the lyrics. 
Lake looked at Wreck who was visibly sad and hugged his brother and in front of everyone Wreck received it because he really needed it. 
“It’s gon’ be okay, ard?” 
“Yea…” Wreck didn’t want to ruin his little brother’s day so he decided to just put his own issues aside for the time being. Vant handed him a drink patting his back. 
“It’s ard bro.” 
“Put ya drinks up,” Dem held his glass in the air with is arm wrapped around Sav. “It's a celebration, every time we link up, we done did everything, they can think of, greatness, is what we on the brink of!”
“I WISH THAT I COULD HAVE THIS MOMENT FOR LIFE!” everyone sang 
174 notes · View notes
ptergwen · 3 years
Text
web of lies
take a leap. if you start to fall, the net will appear to catch you.
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photographer!peter x journalist!reader || masterlist
w/c: 7.1k
warnings: swearing, one drinking mention, descriptions of anxiety, and angst if ya squint
summary: peter can’t stop holding your hands, betty and ned are the modern day bonnie and clyde, ned is a terrible guy in the chair, the osborn’s are up to something, and mj hates you all
a/n: y’all i’m super excited about this series like i haven’t had an idea i’ve really loved in months? so it’s good to be back !!! there are tons of things i have planned and i can’t wait to share them with all of you hehe i really hope you enjoy part one <3 happy reading
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to be honest, which is what you do best, you’ve had a thing for peter parker your whole time at the daily bugle. you actually almost told him once.
a couple months ago, peter walked you home on a night you worked overtime. he’d came in last minute to leave some pictures on your boss’s desk. no one else but you was there, hunched at your computer in the dim office lighting. peter was pleasantly surprised to see you, yet concerned for your well-being. you had to put your finishing touches on a story.
he didn’t feel comfortable letting you travel alone at that hour. so, he went with you when you were ready. his company was more than welcomed. you told peter about your article while you two sat on the subway. he’d listened intently, your head resting on his shoulder and his arm around you. he made sure you got to your apartment building alright as well.
“hey, peter?” you’d asked, halfway up the steps. he was waiting until you were inside and safe to leave. “hm? you good?” he’d smiled sort of expectantly. “yeah. i... i wanted to say...”
your words got caught in your throat when he gave you the softest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. you couldn’t do it. for some reason, you were too scared to confess how you felt. “thanks again for walking me home,” you’d settled on. he’d seemed disappointed that was what you wanted to tell him. nevertheless, he said not to worry about it before taking off.
that one moment perfectly captures it all; how yours and peter’s narrative plays itself out.
“we’ve got an update on hydra v. the people!”
“those freaky giraffes escaped the zoo... again.”
“shoot one more spitball and it’ll be your last.”
“does anyone have an aspirin?”
welcome to the daily bugle, where the chaos never ends and the calm never starts. you’ll find new york’s finest writers, publishers, and creatives of all kind right here. that would include you. you’re one of the top journalists in the whole building, according to mr. norman osborn. he’s the brilliant and slightly insane man who runs this place.
although it’s rare for someone in your field, you were hired straight out of college. norman read a few pieces you’d written and loved them so much that he offered you a job. full time, full benefits, no questions asked. there was something special about the way you wove your words together. your writing had its own voice. a strong voice, one the paper was severely lacking.
you’ve been with the bugle for just over a year now. it’s not the quiet, nine to five gig you were initially expecting it to be. you’re each very unique individuals in your office, and there’s never a dull moment because of it. your coworkers can be found hosting debates on the riskiest topics or tackling each other for blueberry muffins, and that’s just a regular tuesday. the place is stranger than strange. but, it’s become home.
thanks to mr. osborn being so accommodating, you actually settled in rather quickly. another big help has been the friends you’ve made. your first was michelle jones, who prefers to be called mj. she’s a fellow journalist with a wickedly dark humor that trickles into her writing. if you had to describe her in one word, it would be blunt. mj is as real as it gets, and also eternally loyal. she keeps her circle small, so you’re honored you get to be in it.
mj sits right next to you, which means you’re always talking through your days. that’s due in part to the way your office is set up. there aren’t any cubicles, tables and swirly chairs taking up their space instead. norman heard it was more progressive, probably from his son harry.
harry is about your age, only a couple of years older. he hangs around quite a lot, but doesn’t do much with his time besides that. according to norman, he’s still seeking out his passion. he’s banking on him finding a suitable career at the bugle. he’d like to pass this all on to harry some day, hopefully sooner than later. either way, you don’t mind having harry here. he’s super funny and friendly with everyone.
there’s also ned leeds, who’s an editor and reviews most of your pieces. he’s sweeter than candy, even when he’s ripping your grammar to shreds. on the rare occasions you’re not discussing breaking news, you two talk about movies. ned is a film buff and gives you the best recommendations. you’re convinced he was a critic in his past life.
last but so from least is peter parker. he only works for the bugle part time, since he’s still in school. you both graduated from your respective colleges the same year. peter wants to get his masters degree, though. he’s a photographer who’s aspiring to be a cinematographer. him and ned have their passion for the industry in common, and that’s what makes them such great friends.
you learned this and more from the times you and peter have partnered up on stories. he’s one of your best friends not only at the bugle, but in your entire life. the many long nights you’ve spent collaborating have brought you close to each other. they consist of drinking and deep talks, along with some actual work. he takes the pictures, you do the writing. you’ve been told you make a lovely pair.
peter says it himself, too. you’d like to believe he means it as more than coworkers. he’s so caring, and smart, and pure, and peter. yeah, you like him an awful lot. you can hardly stand the feeling of it sometimes.
the fact that you you haven’t come clean already is ridiculous.
“goddamn. not again,” you mutter out. “em, you better come look at this. it’s bad.” mj wheels over to you in her chair with a puzzled look. her eyes follow yours, landing on your computer. “leeds just sent this? to everyone?” she questions, your reply a short hum. you’re both staring daggers at the email your screen displays.
ned is responsible for assigning each journalist their own topics to cover. he’s been lacking a bit recently, having you write up think pieces on fluffy things. in other words, stuff that no one cares about. he asked you to compare oat milk and almond milk just last week. you’d hoped this week would be better, but here you are.
“this is ass. who does he think we are, buzzfeed?” mj scoffs at her own words. the daily bugle prides itself on being a reliable news source, on paper and tv. you’re starting to stoop down to the low level of your competitors. “he assigned me some tiktok dance trend. i’m not writing a single word about that app.” she sets her elbows down on the table, head in her hands.
“aw, why not? grandma mj isn’t down with the kids?” you tease and click out of the upsetting email. “i don’t write for kids,” mj deadpans. she pushes her glasses up on her nose. “what’d you get?” “the evolution of memes,” you gloomily reply. you’re surprised norman has been approving these topics. then again, ned is the head editor. he can do whatever he wants regardless of approval.
mj glares over at the kitchen, where betty brant currently resides. she’s making two hot chocolates instead of her usual one. “i blame her,” mj mumbles to you. your eyebrows furrow. “dude, what? betty is an angel. she doesn’t even work in editing.” betty is the bugle’s highest rated anchorwoman. her and her news team are on people’s televisions every night.
“no, but she has been spending a generous amount of time with leeds,” mj grumbles. she’s admittedly very nosy. the upside is that she tells you any juicy office drama there is. “my theory is betty’s making him give us crap stories so she can report the good ones.” she glances over at you to see what you think. “no way. that can’t be allowed... or legal,” you laugh back.
as if on cue, ned appears next to betty in the kitchen. he takes the extra hot coco that’s piled high with whipped cream. betty tucks a sheet of paper into his suit pocket and kisses his cheek, then he’s gone. you can only gasp as you watch this unfold. what has she done to poor, clueless ned?
“not such an angel anymore, huh?” mj smirks in satisfaction. “suddenly, she has red horns and a pitchfork,” you bitterly agree with your tongue in your cheek. betty waves to you two on her way back to broadcasting. mj gives her a fake nice finger wave, you ignoring her. “we can’t sit back and let this happen, em. we have to do something,” you decide. “let’s tell norman.”
uninterested, mj takes off her glasses and starts to clean them. “like he’ll believe us. yeah, golden girl betty brant is sabotaging the writer’s room,” she rewords her previous statement to put its stupidity in perspective. you throw your hands up. “she is, though! we literally watched it happen!” mj puts her freshly wiped glasses back on and sighs.
“i doubt norman would care, y/n. every newspaper to ever exist is corrupt somehow.” your pessimistic old pal has a point. however, you’re not so willing to accept it. “why can’t we be the first one that isn’t?” you offer a small smile. mj snickers, wheeling back to her own computer. “those are words of the innocent.” she’s already tapping her fingers across the keyboard.
“i thought you weren’t doing the tiktok piece,” you say under your breath. you’re slightly pissed mj turned you down, since she’s the reason you know about betty’s meddling. “i’m not,” mj answers sharply. “i’m gonna email quentin and ask if we can change our topics. happy?” quentin beck is another editor in the building. he’s not bad, but he is intimidating. no one typically goes to him as their first option.
“i’m thrilled,” you confirm and grin at mj to emphasize it. “thanks for stepping up. you’re forgiven.” “i didn’t realize i had to be sorry,” mj notes, this time in a playful manor. she shakes her head as she begins writing. “you and your morals.”
what you value most in your career is honesty, under any circumstances. of course, the other daily bugle writers are the same. norman strictly prohibits clickbait and crazy headlines because that isn’t real news. you leave that to companies like buzzfeed. you’re honest in the sense that you say whatever has to be said, what everyone else is too afraid to. you’ll speak your truth no matter who tries to stop you.
it didn’t used to be that way. there’s some childhood trauma that remains deep in the back of your mind. you’ve left that behind you now, having over a decade to cope with it. hey, they say the past is in the past. what’s important is your takeaway, that you would never let yourself or anyone else be silenced from there on out. never again.
quentin ends up giving you the okay to write different stories. he lets you and mj choose choose your own because he’s got “better things to do” and you’re “big girls.” what a peach he is. mj goes with how capitalism is continuing to provoke global warming. she has something to say about every major world issue, and you admire the hell out of her for it.
you’re a bit stuck when it’s time to write your article. it’s terribly ironic because you pushed for this. you aren’t too worried, though. the city is crawling with material, so you’ll find what you’re looking for eventually. lucky for you, some much needed inspiration comes skipping out of the elevator.
“morning, peter,” you hear liz greet him at the front desk. she’s your floor’s receptionist. her wisdom and patience keep this place going. “hi, liz. how’s it going?” he asks. “things have been quiet... mostly. can i do anything for you?” liz peers up at him. peter sports a shy smile. “uh, yeah. mr. osborn wanted to see me?” “right. hang on.” she nods, dialing his office phone number.
it’s endearing how peter calls him mr. osborn, seeing as the rest of you go with norman. he’s probably the politest guy you’ve ever met.
grinning, liz puts down the phone. “you can go in whenever you’re ready. good luck!” peter laughs nervously and turns to leave. “thanks, you too.” his face falls when he realizes his mistake. “wait, i- i didn’t mean to say that. that was stupid. you’re not-“ “it’s fine, peter,” liz reassures him. his anxiety makes him trip over his words sometimes. that, and he’s a bit dorky in general. you find it rather adorable.
you also wonder what exactly he needs good luck for. he’s not even supposed to be working today, so your curiosity as to what’s going on has been piqued.
“um, i’m gonna go now. bye!” peter rushes off, his face tinted pink from the embarrassing encounter. you’re hoping he’ll stop and talk with you for a little while, but he heads straight to norman’s office. your whole body deflates at that. mj notices from her peripherals.
“what’s the matter? missing your hubby?” she coos, her words dripping in sarcasm. “no,” you lie. “i’m... i don’t know what to write about.” ok, there’s some truth. mj gives you a couple pats on the shoulder. “ask parker for help. you two work... well together. don’t you?” this must be the zillionth time you’ve heard that.
“we do,” you murmur and glance at norman’s closed door. peter is hidden behind it. “i just don’t wanna bug him. he has finals soon, and whatever norman is putting him up to. it’s my job, anyway.” mj pokes your arm. “those sound like excuses to me,” she concludes, still jabbing at you childishly. “you really just don’t wanna tell him you like-“
“can you keep it down?” you hiss, yanking your arm back. “he’s literally right over there.” peter stands up and shakes norman’s hand. you catch it through the blinds on his window. “y/n, you were drooling over his mere presence only minutes ago,” mj prefaces, a smile pulling at her lips. “you can handle three little words. i like you, that’s it. spit it out already.”
you’ll never admit this to mj, but she’s right. you lost your momentum after your first failed attempt to say the three little words. you’re still not sure what stopped you. you’d shared the details of that faithful night with her, and she’s been pushing you to try again since.
the door to norman’s office opens, and out walks peter. he’s beaming after their conversation, which seems like a good sign. harry passes peter on his way in to pay his dad a visit. he claps him on the shoulder, peter happily accepting before continuing his stride back into the main office. it takes a moment to register that he’s coming towards you.
you quickly set your focus back on your computer so he doesn’t think you’ve been watching him. even though, you definitely have.
“y/n!” peter calls your name. he’s on the opposite side of your table, in front of you. “peter!” you match his tone. “i was just dropping by. i thought i’d say hey while i’m here.” he’s still grinning. “what’re you doing?” he looks cute as ever in an oversized and cream colored sweater. his curls are slicked back with a tad too much product, cheeks rosy. you gaze up at him when he rests his arms on the table.
“pretending to be productive,” mj answers for you, pressing her lips together. peter cocks his head to the side. “pretending?” “ignore her. she’s being a shit stirrer today,” you explain. “like every other day,” he jokes, earning a laugh from you. mj just tuts and keeps writing. “talk about me like i’m not here,” she mumbles to herself, then gets back into her article.
“anyways, i thought you didn’t work today?” you ask to take the attention off yourself. also, because you’re curious. “oh! get this.” peter perks up even more, if that’s possible. he has energy like no other. “you know alex in broadcasting? betty’s camera guy?” “what about him?” you wonder. “he called in sick earlier this morning, with the flu or something.” he’s oddly excited to announce this. that prompts you to make a funny face.
biting back another smile, peter elaborates. “mr. osborn needed someone to fill in for him, so he picked me. i’ll be here all week.” it makes sense, since peter knows how to work a camera and does so wonderfully. you give him a celebratory push at his chest. “peter, that’s amazing! this is the perfect way to transition from pictures to film, right?” he’s nearing his finals at school, which consist of more movie-like projects. the news will be great practice.
then, he’s off to hollywood. you’ll put that out of your mind for now.
“exactly! i think it’ll be a good place to start. the pay isn’t bad either.” peter wiggles his eyebrows at you, you giggling once again. you do a lot of that when he’s around. that’s going to be more often now. “plus, i get to see you. everyone wins.” he squeezes your hand that was just on him. your heart begins to thump. “except alex,” you challenge, playing with his fingers. “but, for real. i’m happy you get to do this and that we’ll be spending more time together.”
“thanks, y/n/n. me too.” peter grins and leans over, taking a peek at your computer screen. there’s a blank word document on it. “you never told me what you’re up to,” he chuckles. “guess mj was right... nothing.” “i’m always right,” she chimes in from next to you. you look between the two of them with a scowl. “i haven’t found my story yet. i don’t know, this never happens.” peter nods as you share your dilemma. “no good ideas are coming to me,” you murmur.
“they will. you have a way of attracting things.” he licks his lower lip, your heart completely stopping this time. “well, i gotta go set up for rise and shine with betty brant.” he waves his hand like he’s presenting his words. that’s what betty calls her morning news segment. “be careful with her. she’s being really sketchy these days,” you warn peter, mj grunting in agreement.
confused, peter purses his lips. “really? ned says she’s a sweetheart. they’ve been going out for a while.” mj pops her head up and adjusts her glasses. “did ned also tell you she’s bribing him to give her all of our scoops?” she’s asking rhetorically because she already knows the answer. of course he didn’t. “it’s one thing to not like her. you’re just making things up now,” peter huffs.
mj kicks your foot under the table. “i told you no one would believe us. not even peter gullible parker.” “it’s benjamin,” he corrects her. “whatever,” she brushes it off, resuming her work.
peter does tend to be sort of naive, to only see the good in things when there’s plenty of bad. you’re the same in that way, unless you hang around mj for too long.
“is that true? betty’s stealing your stories?” peter turns to you and asks. you gesture to your screen. “i don’t have one, so you do the math.” he hums sympathetically. he’ll listen to you, never mj. “i’m sorry. thanks for telling me, y/n. i’ll watch out for her.” he bends his fingers to look like goggles, putting them around his eyes. you sigh lightheartedly.
“are you twenty two years old or twelve?” mj remarks, but not without a comeback from peter. “you’re, like, eighty five. worry about that.” they’ve had this type of banter for as long as you’ve known them. it’s equal parts amusing and exhausting. “don’t be late on your first day.” you snap peter out of it with a knowing smile. he returns it.
“i hope something crazy happens so you can write about it.” he’s walking backwards now, towards the elevator. “see you later, pete,” is all you say back, yet another laugh threatening to escape you. “see you. bye, michelle,” peter says just to bug her. “it’s mj,” she groans without looking up. he shrugs. “not so fun, is it?”
after peter is gone, you try to get back into work. or rather, you try to start your work. what he said about you having a way of attracting things keeps ringing in your head. was he flirting? no, he couldn’t have been. peter parker doesn’t flirt. words aren’t his strong suit, and you have countless memories that prove this to be true. earlier with liz, for example.
you’re probably reading way into this. peter was simply doing what any good friend would do and gave you advice.
it’s late in the afternoon when anything worth mentioning happens again. peter is still with betty, as far as you know. they’re probably preparing for the nighttime news now. all you’ve done since seeing him is nibble on snacks and bug mj, who’s almost done with her story despite your distractions. this is really bad, considering your deadline to submit is at the end of today.
you’ve never missed a deadline.
mj emails her work to quentin while you repeatedly bang your head on the table. she hits send before deciding to entertain you. “whatcha doing over there?” she cautiously prompts, powering off her computer. “trying to get an idea. i’m desperate, if you couldn’t tell.” your voice is muffled. “i could.” mj grabs your shoulders and pulls you back so you’re sitting up. you childishly pout.
“y/n, the only thing that’s gonna give you is brain damage,” mj says sternly, then softens her tone. “why don’t you ask for an extension? norman gives me them all the time.” whining, you slump down in your chair again. “yeah, but you’re you! we do things differently, have different expectations put on us.” she’s back to cold mj after you say that. “alright. at least i did something today besides pine over that little-“
mj’s insult for peter is interrupted by harry. “ladies, what’s shaking?” he comes up to you two with a the hint of smirk on his face. you manage a nod to acknowledge him. “oh, hey... harry,” mj unenthusiastically replies. she’s the one person who isn’t really a fan of him. “not much. y/n was just having a tantrum.” “she was not,” you dismiss her. “it’s work stuff. you know your dad.”
harry clicks his tongue in a teasing way. “yep, the grind never stops in this joint. boss man is...” he does the sign for cuckoo with his finger. you laugh a little at that. “in a good way,” you add on. mj only watches you two, blinking blankly. harry gives you a definitive pat on the back. “before i forget, he wants to see you.” that gets mj talking. “norman?” she questions. “your dad?” you choke out at the same time.
“who else? he said you two have to talk.” harry flashes you a weary smile. “have fun in there, old sport.” you’re too busy biting the skin off your bottom lip to respond. “mhm... she will,” mj speaks on your behalf. even she sounds worried. saluting you both, harry leaves to go pester your other colleagues. you’re completely and totally fucked.
“that’s it for me!” you grin sarcastically, freaked out by harry. “i’m fired, aren’t i? i’m definitely about to get fired, and it’s all because-“ “relax!” mj cuts off your rambling. she reaches down and grasps at your wrists. “get it together, y/l/n. you’re the best we have, okay? you aren’t going anywhere.” your grin becomes a frown. “then why does norman wanna talk to me? and, why don’t i have a story?”
mj always has the answers, but this time is the execption. she lets out a breath. “i don’t know. you’ll go find out and tell me what happens.” there’s no use protesting. you’re going to have to face whatever you’re about to at some point. “ok,” you give in, defeated. “i’ll be back soon, i hope.”
the walk to norman’s office feels like a walk of shame. mj can do nothing but sit back and observe it. if this ends the way you think it will, you’ll be collecting your things and won’t ever return. norman is a kind man, and he’s usually pretty understanding. he doesn’t mind the workplace shenanigans as long as you get your job done. unfortunately, you haven’t today.
you hear your boss’s booming voice when you approach his door. inhaling deep, you knock on it, and the room goes silent. “come in,” norman responds after a few seconds. mustering up a smile, you open the door to be met with your doom. “hi, am i interrupting something?” you check. “not at all! you’re just the person i wanted to see. sit, sit,” he beckons you over. he’s not using his angry voice, so maybe you’re in the clear. you enter the room as told.
you’re shocked to see a terrified peter is already in one of the chairs. he visibly relaxes a bit now that you’re here. what the hell is happening? whatever you were expecting, this was the last thing.
taking the armchair next to peter, you sit facing norman’s desk. you nudge his arm to get his attention. his big brown eyes lock with yours. “what’s going on?” you whisper. “no idea,” peter whispers back. the two of you turn to norman again when he claps his hands. he’s plopped down into his cushy leather seat.
“so,” he begins, gaze flicking from peter to you. “you kids know why you’re here?” “is it because i missed my deadline?” you blurt out. you’re once again a nervous wreck. peter doesn’t speak, just winces. “not that. although, i did hear from ned that you turned down his assignment.” norman flicks at a post-it on his desk. “i asked quentin for one instead. me and mj,” you explain, peter’s eyes going wide.
“you talked to quentin? that guy’s bad news,” he murmurs to you. “how so?” norman questions, since it’s his employee. “he- he, um,” peter clears his throat before answering, “he’s super critical, you know? hates all my pictures.” “i love your pictures,” you assure him, the corners of his lips turning up. “your style is so cool. yeah, though. quentin’s pretty bitter.”
considering this, norman drums his fingers on the desk. “i’ll look into that. but, that isn’t why you’re here. i’m letting you off the hook this time.” your whole demeanor changes and a huge weight lifts off of you. “really? you are?” “i have a scoop of my own that i want you to cover,” he continues, peter bumping your knee happily. a toothy grin takes over your face.
“since peter will be sticking around for a while, i want him to join you.” norman waits a beat in case you have any questions. it’s been a minute since you last worked together. peter laughs in disbelief. “you want me to take over for alex and do this?” norman nods proudly. “y/n will need the extra hands, if you have them.” “yes, sir. i do,” peter immediately confirms. “my last class is next thursday, so i have the time.”
“wait, so you’re almost done? that’s awesome!” you bump peter’s knee this time. “yup, all that’s left is finals... and studying.” he mindlessly takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. you’re enjoying his gentle touches. “thank you so much, norman. seriously, i appreciate this a lot,” you tell him and mean it. “hey, no problem,” he chuckles at your eagerness. you grip peter’s hand tighter.
“what’s the story?” “ah, yes. the most important part,” norman starts, peter sharing an excited look with you. “how familiar are you two with spider-man?” his excitement fades at the question posed. it’s unbeknownst to you, caught up in the moment. “uh, same as everyone else, i guess,” you casually reply. “how come?” “he’s your subject.” norman points at you both. “you’re gonna study him over these next few months.”
peter’s hand goes limp in yours, and he gulps hard, throat feeling dry. “you mean, like, an exposé?” “no, no. there will be no exposing,” norman clarifies. “i’m sure he wears the mask for a reason.” that settles peter only slightly. you’re not sure why he’s so tense all of a sudden. “what’s our aim here, then?” you steer the conversation.
“see what new york’s favorite hero gets up to every day, how his life is beyond the crime fighting,” norman further describes your task. peter exhales a shaky breath, shifting away from you in his seat. the golden sun hits his face and reveals a bead of sweat dripping down it. you stare at his figure in worry. “you okay, peter?” “fine. i’m just... hot,” he murmurs back. his sweater does look pretty heavy, so you concede.
getting back to norman’s story, you grimace at the idea. “do you really think people will want to read that? for lack of a better term, it sounds kind of...” you pause. “basic.” “i thought the same thing at first,” he surprisingly agrees with you. “harry pitched the idea to me this morning. you won’t believe it! the other night, he caught spider-man hanging outside his window.”
“harry... harry saw him?” peter squeaks out. he uses the wool material that feels like it’s swallowing him to dab at his forehead. “he stopped on his balcony. must have been pretty late, the kid’s a night owl,” norman says about his son. your face lights up as you listen to him. “he took some shots of spidey in action, when he swung off. i saw a few. they were pretty great.” he’s grinning at his son’s success.
“maybe he’ll get into photography with you, pete,” norman suggests. peter gives him a weak smile in return. “we’d be happy to have him.” he usually has a lot more to say about his career than that. his behavior is starting to genuinely concern you. “anyway,” norman gets back on topic, “it got me thinking. how much do we really know about this guy? we’re supposed to blindly put our trust in him?”
you’re beginning to see the appeal now. you’ve written your share of pieces on the avengers and their methods, tackling the same questions norman just asked you. spider-man shouldn’t be overlooked, especially when he operates so close to your home. this could be another revolutionary superhero story in the making. and, you get to bring peter along for the ride.
“you know what? this has a lot of potential,” you smile at norman, then peter. he has his phone in his lap, fingers flying across the screen. it must be something important. you’ll discuss with norman while he takes care of that. “we could make it a weekly thing, about spider-man’s adventures. find out what we can about the man behind the mask...” peter shoots up in his seat. “without taking it off,” you finish, putting his mind at ease.
“see, i knew you were gonna love it! it was a blessing in disguise, you missing that deadline.” norman bangs his fist on the table with a hearty laugh. “what do you say, peter? you still in?” peter slips his phone back in his pocket. his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. “oh, of course. i can’t wait to work with you, y/n/n,” he speaks in a monotone voice, adding on, “again.”
something is definitely bothering him, and it isn’t the weather.
“i gotta go. betty needs me upstairs, so,” peter moves to get up, his body stiff. you assume that’s who he was texting. “thank you again, mr. osborn.” he’s rushing out of the room just like that, until you call after him. “um, don’t you wanna set a time to meet up? so we can get started?” you reasonably ask. “i... i really gotta go. find me later,” peter tells you, giving you both a tight lipped smile and running off.
“the dynamic duo is back!” norman announces to you. you’re disappointed you can’t share that sentiment with peter.
he’s absolutely booking it down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the next elevator. this is bad. this is a nightmare.
peter went from having one of his best days in a while to the worst in not even a full round of work. today started off fine, and got better when norman promoted him. it got way better when you came along. he saw your smile that makes his insides tingle, heard your laugh that’s the prettiest sound to grace his ears, held your hand that he never wants let go.
things went a bit downhill after that. betty was pushy and yelled at him a lot, demanding he only film her good angles for the segment. you and mj weren’t wrong when you told him to be careful.
later on when he saw you again, everything was okay. he was physically shaking as brad told him mr. osborn requested to see him. brad is mr. osborn’s assistant. a try-hard for sure, but good at his job. why did mr. osborn call him in? did betty complain already?
they’d been sitting in mostly silence, save for small talk until you came knocking on the door. simply being next to you was enough to ground peter and his racing thoughts. it was enough, then it wasn’t.
the whole day had gone to shit after he found out you were going to be writing stories about his alter ego. not only that, but he was helping. during the pitch, he’d texted ned to meet him in the bathroom. he was really anxious and needed a friend who understood why.
ned accidentally found out peter is spider-man last year. it’s a long story that involves peter hiding from some bad guys in the building and ned shrieking so loud the lights flickered. they’re cool now that peter talked things through with him. his secret has been kept, from what he knows.
pushing open the men’s bathroom door, peter is a mixture of sweat and ragged breaths. he’s panting from his fast descent down the staircase. he takes in his disheveled appearance using one of the mirrors. his styled hair is now damp and undone, hands trembling and palms sweaty, chest heaving. here’s his daily reminder that anxiety is not cute. as if he didn’t know.
his stupid, gigantic freaking sweater is only making things worse. it’s suffocating him. no one else is in here, so peter pulls it over his head and tosses it to the ground. he’s got a t-shirt on underneath that happens to be black. what a convenient day for him to wear the hottest material there is.
peter splashes his face with some cold water next to try and cool himself down. that doesn’t do much for him. his face still feels like it’s on fire, but now it’s wet. he takes his hands through his mop of curls, backing away from the sink.
“fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck,” peter repeats to himself. he’s silent for a moment, then rage overcomes him. he kicks open a bathroom stall. “shit! i can’t do this. what am i supposed to-“
the door creeks open, so peter shuts up in case it isn’t ned. it thankfully is, and he wears a deep frown at the sight of his best friend. “dude, what happened? you look...” “terrible. i know,” peter finishes for him. he tugs at his locks in another attempt to tame them. ned approaches him carefully. “you’re not, like, dying... are you? because betty was telling me you have to-“ “of course you were with betty,” peter exhales in frustration. “no, ned. i’m not dying.”
in ned’s defense, the text he received was very alarming. all peter wrote was, ‘EMERGENCY. SOS.’
“i mean, yeah. it was my break.” ned sits on the ledge by the window, close to peter. “you do the same with y/n.” the mention of your name upsets peter all over again. he hides his face in his hands as ned watches. “if you’re not dying, then what’s the problem?” ned finally asks. “me and y/n...” peter removes his hands from his face, meeting ned’s worried eyes. “mr. osborn wants us to do a project together.”
“uh, peter? you’ve been saying how much you miss her forever, dude! you’re not excited?” ned snorts at him. he means well, but he has no clue what he’s talking about. “no. it’s supposed to be about spider-man,” peter answers angrily. this isn’t the support he was hoping for. realizing the severity of the situation, ned gets serious.
“oh... but, you’re still doing it?” he questions. “i didn’t have a choice,” peter scoffs out. “i can’t let either of them down.” “you’ll expose yourself!” ned escalates things further. “it’s not like that. we’re gonna follow spider-man around and post updates on him,” peter says, technically in the third person. he’s given an are you insane? look from ned.
“you are spider-man! and, no offense, but you’re not so good at hiding it,” ned refers to himself finding out. “how are you gonna be in two places at once?” damnit, peter hadn’t thought about that yet. he can’t be taking pictures of spider-man and swinging from building to building simultaneously. “i- i’ll figure it out,” peter stammers, unconvincingly.
ned looks him over in a disapproving way. “jeez. you’re really putting your life on the line for this girl-“ “woman,” peter interjects, not loving ned’s attitude towards you. “have some respect.” unfazed, ned gets up from the windowsill. “speaking of women, remember betty? you’re still on the clock,” he changes the subject. peter nearly forgot he has to go film her segment.
“i’ll head up to her now,” peter gives in. he scoops up his discarded sweater, not bothering to check his appearance again. ned follows behind him to the door. “we wrote her script together, you know,” he gladly informs peter, who already knows from you. “not really a flex,” peter mumbles his response. “peter, lighten up.” ned hits at his shoulder. the two of them exit the bathroom.
“you’ll figure this out later. i can always help.” he shoots him a sugary sweet smile. “thanks, ned. for talking with me and everything.” peter doesn’t smile back. they do a quick bro handshake, then they’re going their separate ways. “have a good show, dude!” ned yells back, to which he doesn’t get a response. peter doesn’t have it in him.
he allows himself to take the elevator back up to broadcasting. he’s so drained from the several anxiety attacks he endured. while peter waists for the elevator, he contemplates all the issues he’d better solve. it’s a relief to hear it ding because it brings him back to earth. that doesn’t last long because both you and betty are there when the door opens.
you’d each had the same idea, to find peter. unlike betty, your intentions were good. you asked liz if she saw peter leave. she told you he went downstairs, so you did also. betty was already in the elevator when it got to your stop. she was looking for him because, you guessed it, he had to record the news. the small space was filled with tension as you and betty occupied it.
“perfect. we’re going right back up,” betty beams, motioning for peter with her index finger. “hop in!” “coming,” peter does as told, going to stand between you and betty. she presses the button for your floor and theirs. the doors close. “pete?” you speak up, voice soft. “you kinda ran off earlier. i thought you were with betty.” “clearly, he wasn’t,” betty sneers.
you’re less concerned with her and more with peter. the sweater he looked so huggable in is now folded in his arms, his face splotchy and jaw clenched. he must have gotten triggered by something back in norman’s office.
“are you sure you’re okay? you... you can talk to me about it.” you take a step closer to peter, your doe eyes searching for his. he meets them with a tiny smile. at least, it’s real this time. “i’ll be fine, y/n/n. ‘s nice that you came to check on me, though.” “don’t mention it.” your arms loop around his neck and bring him into a hug. peter hugs you back by your middle, chin resting on your shoulder, breathing out in relief.
you keep your hands on his shoulders when you pull back. his stay on your sides, a lopsided grin now crossing his features. “spider-man...” you quirk an eyebrow. “how are you feeling about that?” “should be cool,” peter somehow maintains himself. “i’m mostly looking forward to doing it with you.”
listening in, betty joins the conversation. “what’s happening with spider-man? anything i should know?” her hand reaches into her bag and emerges with a notepad. does she ever think of her own content? “she’s nothing if not persistent,” you grumble to peter. chuckling, he pulls you into his chest. if he didn’t hold you back, you would’ve pounced on her.
“we’re gonna do a piece on him,” peter tells her. “you can’t copy or steal this one because it’s already been approved,” you contribute, smiling smugly as peter holds you tighter. betty is taken aback. “are you accusing me of stealing? who said i-“ “ned ratted on you... sorry,” peter says in a sing song voice. squealing, you jump away from him. “he did? we were right?”
“mj’s never wrong,” he reiterates. “mj knew about this? oh my god, i can’t believe her!” betty stomps her foot. “we got you on candid camera.” you make a clicking noise with your mouth. peter mimes taking a picture to back you up. “alright, alright. i won’t do it again,” betty mumbles, turning away from you two in annoyance.
“finally!” you hold up your hand for a high five, which peter gives you. “we really do make the best team,” he hums. your fingers intertwine with peter’s, and he lays his palm flat against yours. he prays extremely hard you don’t notice that it’s sweaty. you do, but you couldn’t care less.
“i was wondering when you’d wanna start our... research?” peter asks you, his lip between his teeth. “you were saying something earlier. maybe we could make a schedule.” “how elaborate of us that would be,” you tease. that earns a breathy laugh from peter. with a knowing smile, you put your free hand back on his shoulder.
“what are you doing tonight?”
-
peter parker taglist
@saturnpeter @tpwk-grande @itstaskeen @missyouhollnd @becicamina @dummiesshort @zspideyy @watchitimreadinghere @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @dpaccione @karispotters11 @theofficialzivadavid @thehumanistsdiary @kelieah @aayaissaa @petersgroupie @annab-nana @tayyx @swtltlmrvlgrl @magicalxdaydream @haoluvver @kjune113 @captainamirica @marvel-dork98 @emmastarz @killingbxys @viriditie @misshale21 @veryholland @liliswifts @tommydarlings @rebelemilu @peterspideysense @cr-uelsummer @dreamy-clousds @quaksonhehe @quxxnxfhxll @blackbat2020 @babyblue19 @falconxbarnes @zachary-s @dirtytissuebox @dracoswhore007 @heavenlyholland @thsquad @etheralholland @dhtomholland @awh-lilies @tomshufflepuff @multifamdomfan12
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if i forgot you please lmk!
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atlafan · 3 years
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a/n: A couple of weeks ago I saw a post about ex’s to lovers, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So basically it’s a story about two people who ended things on a semi-good note, like nothing inherently bad happened between them, but they decided to break up. Sometimes people find their way back to each other, though. That’s what we have here. Harry is a tax attorney, a few years older than our MC, Blair Smith, who teaches jazzercise. (not proofread) PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU READ THIS AND LIKE IT, YALL WANTED ME TO KEEP POSTING FICS ON HERE, SO HERE YOU GO! PLEASE, IT TAKES TWO SECONDS! Check out my patreon for other excursive content.
Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (sub!Harry????), mentions of death, a funeral
Words: 17.8K
Pairing: Harry x OC (Blair Smith)
When Blair Smith became a Physical Education major in college, she never thought that would lead her to leasing a dance studio, and teaching jazzercise. It took her until she was twenty-five to really get it all together. She wasn’t mad about it, she actually enjoyed it more than she thought. She double minored in Dance and in Business Administration, she had never been so thankful to have overloaded herself in her life. She thought she would be teaching gym at the high school level, along with some health and nutrition classes, but when she did her practicum semester at a local high school near her college, she realized that working with younger students was not for her. None of them listened, none of them really wanted to be there, aside from the gym-class-heroes, and she couldn’t stand that the majority wouldn’t even change their clothes for class.
Blair wanted to make her own rules. Luckily, after presenting a well-thought-out business plan to her parents, she was able to get them to co-sign for a loan from the bank to lease a dance studio. She named her studio Just Dance because she offered different types and levels of jazzercise. Some involved use of weights, some involved a little more high intensity, and some involved a little yoga. She was grateful for the couple of marketing classes she took because she was able to really build her brand. She had an Instagram, Facebook Page, and a website. She had an online way to sign up for memberships, and she had daily drop-in prices.
It was easier than she thought to build her clientele. She had a great spot in the city, and there was a small parking lot out back behind the building. Most of her friends from school signed up, and helped her advertise. It was open to men and women, as opposed to a lot of jazzercise places that only offered classes to women. Even though Blair couldn’t afford to hire a second instructor, she was managing things just fine. She offered two early morning sessions, one lunch hour session, and three evening sessions. So, she had plenty of time to relax, stretch, and not over work her muscles. She was strategic about class offerings as well. She gave herself Sundays and Fridays off, since those seemed to be the days with the least amount of people signed up. Monday through Thursday, and Saturday, she made sure to stagger her lessons. For example, Mondays and Wednesdays were weights and yoga infused classes, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays were the high intensity days. Going into her fourth year doing this, she had it down to a science to say the least.
Business was always really good in January and February, when people were making their New Year’s resolutions, and during the summer months when people were trying to feel better about being in their bathing suits. Blair always preached positivity and inner health as the most important things. It was an inclusive space, which is exactly what she wanted it to be.
She liked working for herself. If she needed to run errands between classes, she could. If she wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, she could. She didn’t have to answer to a single person. Her parents would sometimes ask questions, but mostly just to make sure Blair was making her loan payments on time. She had automatic withdrawals set up with the bank, so she didn’t even need to think about it. Yup, Blair had just about everything figured out, and she knew she was very lucky for that.
//
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sullivan, we’ll get everything figured out for your son. Yes, he’s in very good hands with me. Alright, have a nice evening.” Harry hangs up his phone and sighs, rubbing at his temples to soothe the oncoming headache he could feel. It was another complicated trust fund case, but that was the job.
The Law Office of Styles and Associates was a tax attorney office. Harry specialized in cases that dealt with trusts, gifts, and various tax planning structures to reduce the burdens of income taxes and estate taxes, and he assisted in devising investment strategies. His undergraduate degree was in accounting, and he minored in pre-law. After that, he went to law school for three years and passed the bar. His father had been a tax attorney as well. Harry liked living the comfortable life he was able to live growing up thanks to his father, and he wanted the same for himself. Plus, he just enjoyed crunching numbers for people, so it was a win-win. Making nearly $150K a year wasn’t too shabby either.
“Hey, H, you ready to go?” John comes into Harry’s office.
“Yeah, just finished up for the day.” Harry stands up, puts his suit jacket back on, grabs his brief case, and heads out. “Kate, feel free to head home, I’m done for the day.” He tells his secretary on his way out.
“Thank you, Mr. Styles, have a nice weekend.” She smiles at him.
“Same to you.” He nods and keeps walking with John. “I feel terrible, she’s pregnant, you know? Her feet are the size of melons by the end of the day.”
“When’s her maternity leave start?” John asks as they enter the elevator.
“Not for a while, she’s only seven months along. She’s been trying to train some college intern to take her place while she’s gone, but no one’s as good as Kate.” Harry rolls her eyes. “Oh well, I’m happy for her. Her and husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while.”
Harry and John make their way to a bar downtown, one of their usual Friday evening spots. They usually met up with some of their other law-school buddies. It was also a great way to blow off steam from the week. Sometimes Harry would end up pulling a 60-hour week, so he thought he deserved to cut loose, and have a little fun with his friends. Maybe meet a pretty girl he could take back to her place and have a whole different kind of fun with her. Harry was a phenomenal attorney, but when it came to his personal life, well, if you looked up the definition of a playboy, his picture would be there. He fucked around, a lot, without a second thought. Actually, his only thought was to make sure he always had a condom. Harry never went bare back. The last thing he needed was someone claiming he was the father of their child, and suing him for child support. The only time he didn’t use a condom was when he was in a legitimate relationship a couple of years back.
He thought about her from time to time. He never met another girl like her, and there were times he really did miss her. The breakup wasn’t anything dramatic, the pair had just grown apart. Harry was in the process of taking over the practice for his father, and she…wasn’t quite ready to settle down. She wanted to work on her own career and make a name for herself. It hurt that she didn’t see him in her vision for the future, but he understood where she was coming from. She was a few years younger than him, and he didn’t want her to resent him for taking away her time to be young and have fun. So they ended it. Since her, he decided to have some fun himself with his friends.
//
Blair got the call right before her second morning class on Wednesday morning. She nearly collapsed on the floor in tears. Everyone rushed over to her. She had to cancel everything for the rest of the week, and her clients were more than understanding.
“How did it happen?” She asks her mother, Pam.
“He had a stroke, and…god, he just didn’t bounce back.” Pam uses a hankie to wipe her tears. “Most of everything should be all set, he was very specific, but…we’re going to need an attorney. Your father’s biggest fear is that his first wife would claim that she has a right to his pension, that she was promised money or something.”
“God, I hate her.” Blair grimaces. “All she’s ever cared about is making him miserable. She just wants money for her son. He’s not even Dad’s!”
“That’s why they got divorced! She cheated on him with his best friend and got knocked up. You can see how sticky this is going to get. I hate to ask, but…”
“I’ll go see him.” Blair sighs.
“I just think he might sympathize, maybe work the case pro bono. I’m not sure we could afford him otherwise.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mum, I’ll talk to him and figure it out. I’m not going to let Lora fuck everything up for you.”
//
Kate nearly choked on her water when she saw Blair walking towards her. She knew Harry had a meeting with a B. Smith. She should have known better.
“B-Blair, hi.” Kate says.
“Kate! Oh my goodness, you look incredible! You and Roger finally-“
“Yeah! I’m due in a couple more months.”
“That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.” Blair smiles. “Um, I think I set up a meeting through an intern?”
“Yes.” Kate sighs. “I’m training her for when I go on maternity leave. Um, may I ask why you’re here to see Harry?”
“It’s strictly business. My…my father recently passed, and-“
“I’m so sorry.” Kate frowns. “He was always so nice.”
“Yeah, he was a good guy. Anyways, there’s a lot going on with his will and a trust he set up for my mom. Harry’s the only person I could think of when my mom said we’d need an attorney.”
“Of course.” Kate nods. “I’ll let him know you’re here.” Kate knocks on Harry’s door and opens it. “Mr. Styles?”
“Yes?”
“Your 2PM is here.”
“Ah, great.” Harry squints at his screen to check his calendar. “B. Smith? Why does that sound familiar?” He puckers his lips in thought.
“Um…it’s Blair.”
“Blair!” Harry stands up and bangs his knee in the process. “Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?!”
“I didn’t know! Maura answered when she called to set up the appointment.”
“Fuck.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “How do I look? Is there anything in my teeth?”
“No, you’re fine. Just relax, I’m going to send her in.” Kate leaves his office and smiles at Blair. “He’s ready for you.”
“Thank you, Kate. We should catch up before the baby comes.”
“I’d like that. I miss going to your classes.”
Blair nods and goes into Harry’s office, closing the door behind her.
“Hi, Harry.”
“Hi.” He walks over to her, leaving about a foot of space between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” Her bottom lip trembles, and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.
“M…my Dad died.” She says, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her in for a hug so he can comfort her. “When’s the funeral? You know you could have just called me, you didn’t have to be so formal.”
“Actually, I did.” She sniffles and steps back from him. “I need an attorney, my mom and I do…only…we can’t really afford a good one.”
“Oh.” Harry nods. “Have a seat.” He gestures, and rounds his desk to sit back down in his own seat. “Is this about his ex-wife?”
“Unfortunately.” Blair rolls her eyes, and grabs a tissue off his desk. “My mom is scared she’s going to pull some fake paternity crap with her son, even though everyone knows he’s not my Dad’s. I think my mom just wants to be prepared for the inevitable shit storm Lora’s going to bring.”
“I don’t blame her.” Harry sighs and leans back in his chair. “I…haven’t taken a pro bono case yet this year. I could help that way.”
“Only if you really want to. I’m not asking for a handout, but I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me.” Blair blinks when she realizes what she’s said. “Us, I don’t trust anyone else to take care of us.”
“Right.” He leans forward. “I’d be happy to do it. Um, does your mom want to meet with me, or-“
“I think she’s sort of hoping I’ll take care of all the legal stuff. She’s grieving, you know?”
“So are you.” He frowns.
“You know me, I like to keep busy during these sorts of things. I can get a copy of the will, and the trust information over to you via email if that works, and then we can go from there?”
“Sure, yeah. My email’s still the same, um, and so is my phone number…”
“I still have your phone number.” She rolls her eyes.
“Then why didn’t you call me about this first? Why call and make an appointment?”
“I…I thought if I called…you’d think I was calling for something else.” She blushes. “I wanted you to know it was strictly business.”
“Blair, all you had to say was that your dad died. I could have been there for you. You live alone, all you do is work…your best friend is my cousin…do you and Riley even still talk?”
“Of course we do! Just because we broke up doesn’t mean that she and I did. I met you because of her, I was her friend first. It would be really shitty to stop talking to her because it didn’t work out with you.”
“Okay, Christ, calm down.” He shakes his head. “You’re as hot headed as ever, you know that?”
“I’m sorry, my father just died and I’m trying to keep it together!” Her eyes rim with tears again. “He’s never going to be able to walk down the aisle when I get married, he’s never going to meet his grandchildren, there are so many things…he was too young.” She sniffles.
“How did it happen?”
“He had a stroke, and didn’t recover.” She looks away.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I appreciate that, but that’s not going to being him back, so don’t be sorry. Just…help me with this.”
“I will, there’s no question about it.”
“Thank you, Harry.” She stands up. “I’ll email you.”
“Blair.” Harry stands up. “Look, if you need anything else, don’t be afraid to ask. If you need a friend…I’m here for you.”
“I have plenty of friends.” She sighs. “And no offense, but my friends don’t fuck a ton of women weekend after weekend and treat them like shit.” She smirks.
“I don’t do that.” His face flushes. “I just haven’t met someone I’ve really wanted to continue seeing, that’s all.”
“Harry.” Blair shakes her head as she chuckles. “Not that I ask, but Riley’s told me a few things. You two are close, and when she gets drunk she loves regaling me of your many escapades.”
“I’ll have to send her a very strongly worded text after you leave.” He rolls his eyes.
“Don’t get mad at her, it’s fine. I don’t really care.”
“You don’t?”
“No, why would I? It’s not me you’re fucking, so it doesn’t concern me.” She shrugs. “That’s the beauty of breaking up, Har, I don’t give a shit where you stick your dick at night.”
“Well, obviously you do if you won’t even let me be a friend to you, Blair.”
“I just…I don’t want us getting close again, alright? It’ll hurt when we end up parting way, and I don’t wanna go through that while also grieving my Dad. Can you understand that?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted out.” He smiles at her.
“Thank you. I need to go. I told my mom I’d be over to help her pack some things up. She sort of just wants to rip the band aid and put his clothes away.”
“If you need any help at all with any heavy lifting, call me.”
“Harry.” Blair sighs.
“I’ve got that nice SUV, I can help move stuff, that’s all I’m saying.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll talk to you soon.” She says, and out the door she goes. Kate waits a moment before coming into Harry’s office.
“Scotch?” Kate asks.
“Scotch.” Harry nods, and Kate goes over to his credenza to take out his good crystal and liquor to pour him a small glass.
“You’ll get through this.” She lifts her water bottle to cheers with him, and he downs the brown liquid.
//
Blair was back at work the following week. She needed the distraction. Lora had been eerily quiet. Maybe she didn’t know that Blair’s father passed, but as soon as the obituary hit the papers, she was sure that witch would be out and about to cause some trouble. At the end of Blair’s last Thursday class, she heard the sound of dress shoes on the hard wood. She turns to see Harry.
“You know there’s not supposed to be outside shoes in here. I just mopped.” She puts her hands on her hips and huffs at him.
“Yeah, I’m well aware of the rules. I used to be your best customer, remember?” He smirks. “Anyways, I looked over all the documents, I thought you might like to go over everything with me before the funeral, in case she shows up to cause trouble, you’ll have all the facts.”
“I need to, like, go home and shower…today was an intensive day, I’m soaked.”
“Perfect, I’ve got dinner in the car. We can go there, eat, and go over the documents.” He smiles.
“You’re such a weasel.” She chuckles. “But I’m too tired to argue with you. What did you pick up to eat?” She raises an eyebrow at him.
“Nothing special.” He shrugs. “Just some dumpling curry from that Thai place we both like.”
“I take it back you’re not a weasel, you’re the devil.”
Harry drives over to Blair’s apartment. He didn’t have a key anymore so he had to wait for her. He follows her up to her apartment, and makes himself at home while she goes to take a shower. She hadn’t changed much, but he definitely noticed some different pictures on her bookshelves. They used to be littered with framed photos of them, and she had a ton of scrapbooks for the two of them, but those seemed to be missing now as well. He sighs while he plates up the food for the both of them, and opens up a bottle of wine while he waits. Blair comes out about ten minutes later with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and her long, plush, pink robe around her body. She sits down next to him at the island.
“Wine?” She questions, but picks up the glass to take a sip.
“It’s been a long day, to be honest with you. I’m gonna work from home to catch up on some sleep tomorrow since I don’t have any meetings.”
“You know I have Fridays off, we could have done this tomorrow.” She frowns.
“It’s okay, I figured you’d want everything now. The funeral’s Saturday, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Eat up, and then we can look at everything.”
“We can do both at the same time.”
“Does your nose still run like a leaky faucet when you eat spicy food?” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
“Thank you for picking this up.” She says as she takes a bite. “I haven’t had this in forever.”
“Me neither…I stopped going because I didn’t want to run into you there.”
“That’s why I stopped going. We should have divided up restaurants when we broke up.” She laughs, and takes another sip of wine. “Do you mind if I dry my hair when we’re done eating? I’ll get a-“
“You’ll get a headache if you don’t, I know the drill.” He takes a sip of his own wine, and eats a spoonful of rice.
“Stop remembering things about me.” She swats a hand at him.
“We were together for long enough, Blair, I can’t help it.”
“Yeah, well, quit throwing it in my face, okay? We’re not doing this to go for a stroll down memory lane.”
Harry knew he’d be waiting at least twenty minutes while Blair dried her hair. He walks around her living room, stretching his legs a bit. He was curious to see what she had filled her bookshelves with. There was a picture of her and Riley from their freshman year of college. Harry picks it up and smiles. Harry was in his first year of law-school when Riley and Blair were college freshmen. He didn’t meet Blair formally until their senior year, and he was in his first year working at his father’s firm. He was helping Riley move in after winter break, and Blair had already been there.
“Blair!” Riley exclaimed. “I missed you so much.” She threw her arms around her.
“I missed you too! I’m glad we both agreed to come back a week early.”
“Same here. This is my cousin, Harry. Harry, this is Blair.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Harry shook Blair’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Her mouth had run dry. They held eye contact for a beat too long. “You’re in law school, right?”
“I finished last year, I’m actually working now. I’m a tax attorney.” He explains. “It’s my dad’s business.”
“And it’s super boring.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Har, could you bring everything in for me? I have a meeting with my advisor that I need to get to. We’re going over my practicum stuff.”
“Sure thing. We’re still getting dinner later, right?”
“Mhm, I shouldn’t be too long. Blair, you don’t mind if Harry hangs here for a bit, do you? You’re also welcome to come to dinner with us.”
“Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.” She shrugged.
“You’re the best. See you in a little while!”
“Is there a lot of stuff? I can help.” Blair said to Harry.
“Not a lot, no. But…I’ve never been here before, so if you could just show me upstairs, that would be great.”
“Yeah.” She nodded.
Harry brought Riley’s suitcase in, and Blair led him upstairs. She showed him Riley’s room.
“Is yours similar?” He asked.
“My room? Um, no…it’s a little different.” She swallowed. “Do you wanna see?”
“I’d love to.” He grinned, and followed her down the hall to her room. “Riley’s told me a lot about you over the years, but she failed to mention how insanely gorgeous you are.” He leaned against her wall after she closed her door.
“Well, she failed to mention how hot her cousin is, but I suppose that would be a weird thing to say about a family member.” She smirked. “How old are you, exactly?’
“I’m about to turn twenty-six, what about you?”
“I’m almost twenty-two…in May.”
“Not a huge age difference.” He walked towards her.
“Not at all.” She looked up at him with big eyes.
“Want me to kiss you?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, all done.” Blair says, coming out with her all dry and pretty. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, just saw this old picture of you and Riley.”
“God, we were babies then.” Blair smiles at the photo. “We took that on the day we met at orientation.” She looks at him. “Wanna sit on the couch?”
“Sure.” Harry grabs his briefcase and takes out all of the documents he needed to go over with Blair. “So, as you can see, your father set up a trust for you that you’ll get access to a year after his passing. That’s pretty standard. Your mother has a different sum of money that she’ll be able to access much sooner. There’s absolutely nothing in his will about Lora or her son. Even if she tries to contest it, there’s nothing in here that would indicate he was hiding anything. I looked over their divorce settlement as well, she stopped getting alimony when she remarried. She literally has no case. You and your mum can take a breather.”
“Oh, what a relief! Thank you, Harry. She’ll be able to let herself relax for the first time in a while.”
“Are you going to take any more time off from work?”
“Well, I’m closed Saturday, and I’m off Sunday, and I’m closed Monday as well. Then I’ll be back to it Tuesday.”
“You’re only giving yourself a long weekend?” He frowns.
“Harry, I can’t afford to keep closing. I make enough with the memberships, but I won’t be making the extra I do from the walk-ins.”
“Look, if you need some money-“
“Don’t you dare.” She stands up. “I don’t want your money, Harry, I never have, and I never will. I’m not your goddamn sugar baby!”
“I never said you were!” He says, standing up.
“But you used to make me feel like that all the time! You were always paying for every little thing. You never let me pay for a single thing. It was like you had zero confidence in me, even though I was running a successful business!”
“You were just starting out! All I wanted to do was help you, make it a little easier for you. You’re the one that went to their parents for loan help when I would have done it in a heartbeat! You crushed me.”
“We weren’t even living together, and you were ready to drop that amount of money on me?! That would have been so weird!”
“We were both working odd hours, and we had only been together a few months at that point, moving in would have been weird! A loan is totally different, I would have been investing in something great.”
“Well, I didn’t need your investment! We were together for nearly three years, Harry, what’s your excuse for not living together after all that time, hm?”
“I would have felt guilty. I was never home, I didn’t want you waiting up for me. It was easier when I could just come here and crawl into bed with you after a long day. And you always had to get up so much earlier than me. I thought…I thought it was better that we weren’t living together. You had never lived alone before, I wanted you to enjoy the freedom.”
“Was that it, or did you just want to keep your own?” She huffs, crossing her arms. “You know what, this fight is useless, it doesn’t matter because it’s not going to solve a single fucking thing. Thank you for your help, I really do appreciate it, but now that I know everything’s fine, you can go. If I need anything else from you down the line, I’ll reach out. I’m sure Lora will make a stink, and therefore I’ll need an attorney. But it’s all professional, Harry.”
“You’ve made that plenty clear already, thanks.” Harry packs up his things, and Blair walks him to the door. They look at each other. He just sighs and heads out the door.
Blair would be lying if she said that she didn’t miss Harry. They had a really special bond that was hard to find with just any one. All they did that first day they met was kiss, have a passionate make out, but that was it. Blair didn’t want to go too far with him in case Riley wasn’t comfortable with it. But Riley was overjoyed when Harry asked if she would mind if he asked Blair out on a date. It was a whirlwind from there.
He took her on some of the nicest dates she had ever been on. Most guys would take her out for coffee, maybe a movie if they could scrape the money together, but Harry took Blair out to nice restaurants, and to the movies that had lux levels. Not to mention his condo, god, she loved his condo. He liked that she kept things simple. Crockpot dinners at her place, watching TV curled up in her little full-sized bed, and clipping coupons together on Sunday mornings. That was where they had sex for the first time, in her little bed after their fifth date. He told her he loved her for the first time on the top of a Farris Wheel during the spring carnival her campus held, and she wasted no time saying it back. After that, a deeper trust formed between the two of them. One that not a lot of people would understand. Harry didn’t quite understand it himself since he was usually the one who was a little more dominant in bed, but with Blair…well, needless to say after a long week of working cases, his favorite thing was to come home, find her in his bedroom with some lingerie on, and letting her tie him to the bed posts for a little while. It was a release he didn’t even really know he needed. And with her, having been a college student about ready to graduate and enter the real world, it felt like so many things were out of control. Harry gave her that control back.
Harry wonders if that’s why they breakup seemed so much harder on him than her. It seemed like Blair was able to let go so easily. Yes, he started fucking around afterwards, but he just couldn’t get that same high from anyone else, nor did he trust some random girl at a bar to do the things for him that Blair once did. Blair was just better at hiding her emotions. She missed Harry, she’s missed him for a long time now. She cried for weeks, feeling this undeniable ache in her heart without him around. But, she had her studio to throw herself into, a brand to keep building. It was the perfect distraction, and even though she missed Harry, she didn’t hate being single for the first time in a while. For three years, Harry had been like her security blanket. The way she looked at it, every kid eventually stops sleeping with their security blanket at some point. It was time to be independent.  
//
The funeral was a graveside service. It was cloudy, but there wasn’t rain, which was probably the only upside Blair could think of. She was there, sitting next to her mother, other family members in the row behind them. Her mother was holding Blair’s hand, but this is one the few times Blair wished someone was there for her. Just as the service was about to get started, someone sat down next to her. She looks to her right and sees Harry, dressed in black from head to toe. He doesn’t say anything, he just puts his arm around her, and rubs his shoulder. He gives Blair’s mom a soft smile before sitting back in his seat.
“Harry…you weren’t supposed to come until afterwards…” Blair says.
“I know.” He looks at her. “I just wanted to be here for you.”
Harry gave Blair his extra tissues while she cried during the service. He held her the entire time, and stayed back once it was over. Then, he offered to drive Blair and Pam back to Pam’s home. Neither of them were in any condition to drive. There were a lot of people that came back to the house afterwards. Blair was able to calm down a bit, but her mother was really taking it hard.
“We don’t have to do this today.” Harry says to Blair.
“No, we should just rip the band aid. Then she can just…” Blair’s eyes widen when she sees Lora walk through the door. “Oh, you miserable cunt.” She says.
“What?” Harry asks, confused.
“Not you, Lora’s here.” Blair storms over to her. “What are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too.” Lora smiles. “I’m here to grieve the loss of my first husband.”
“You weren’t at the funeral.”
“I didn’t want to upset anyone.” Lora shrugs. “So…have you read the will yet? I think I should be in on that.”
“Lora.” Pam says when she walks over. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Pam sighs, and has everyone follow her down the hall to the guest bedroom. Harry takes out the paperwork.
“There’s been-“ He starts, but he’s cut off.
“I’m sorry, but how is it legal if her boyfriend is reading the will?” Lora asks.
“We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for a while. He’s here as our attorney, that’s it.” Blair says.
“Anyways, been a trust set up for Blair a little down the road. Everything else, including the house, has been left to Pamela Smith. There is no mention of anyone else’s name.”
“That can’t be right.” Lora scoffs. “I was promised-“
“He would have never left you anything.” Pam says. “And I’m sick of dealing with you. He’s gone, he’s left you nothing, you have no ties to us now. It’s clear as day that Derek is not his. He owed you absolutely nothing, you gold digging bitch.” Pam steps closer to Lora. “Now, get out of my house before I have you removed. I buried my husband today, I am in no mood to be fucked with.”
“Fine.” Lora says, turns on her heel and leaves.
“Way to go, Mum.” Blair gives her a high five. “I thought she’d put up more of a fight than that.”
“With your father maybe, but not with me. I’ve ripped her cheap extensions out more than once, and she knows I’ll do it again.” She takes take a deep breath. “I think I’m about ready to be done for the day. I need to lay down.”
“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Blair asks her.
“No, honey, thank you. Auntie Fay is staying, I’ll be alright.” She looks at Harry. “Harry, I can’t thank you enough for helping with all of this.”
“Don’t mention it. If there’s anything else I can do, anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask.”
“Drive Blair home.”
“Mum.”
Pam raises her hands in defense and leaves the room.
“I can drive you back if you want. I took an uber out here as it was.” Harry says, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“You’ve done enough for me today, it’s alright…I can make it back on my own. Riley’s flying back in from Chicago tomorrow and we’re gonna have a girl’s day, so-“
“Blair, I still have your keys in my pocket, I’m driving you.”
“I don’t need you to swoop in here and act like superman, Harry.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I know my dad’s not around to do it anymore, but-“
“Hey.” He takes her in his arms. “I wish I could take it all away, I really do. I wish you weren’t going through all of this, baby.”
“Harry.” She sighs heavily into his chest.
“Sorry.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “Some habits are hard to break I guess.”
“Have you called anyone else baby in the last year?” She nuzzles in close to him.
“No.” He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I never could.”
“Okay, you can drive me home.” She sighs. “I’m about ready to pass out as it is.”
Blair takes a few minutes to say goodbye to the people still at the house before her and Harry get into her car. He keeps the music volume low, and her eyes start to droop. Harry can’t help but feel soft and warm knowing she was so easily able to fall asleep with him there still. She’d always fall asleep on long car rides.
“Blair.” Harry says, trying to wake her up. “We’re at your place, love.” She groans at him, and he sighs. “Are you really going to make me carry you up?” She groans again and he rolls his eyes. Blair would always pretend to be asleep so Harry would carry her inside. He unbuckles her, gets out, and opens her door to lift her out. “You’re killing me.” He grunts as he carries her to the front door. He keys in, and carries her up the stairs to her door. “I know you’re awake.” He says as he brings her to her bedroom.
“Mm, but you’re so strong and warm.” She mumbles.
“Okay.” He chuckles and lays her on her bed. “Are your pj’s still in the third drawer of your dresser.”
“Harry.” She sits up. “You don’t have to do all that…”
“I was just gonna grab you a shirt and get out of your hair.” He says innocently.
“God, I’m so confused.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.
“About what?” He grabs a bed shirt for her, and sits on the edge of her bed.
“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable, I don’t know.” She looks away from him. “I don’t want you to go.” She mutters, and then looks at him. “But I also don’t want to get your hopes up.”
“If you need me to stay as a friend, I can do that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’d never leave you like this.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just gonna pretend to leave, and then crash on your couch.”
“Well, you don’t have to do that. Got a queen sized bed now, plenty of room.”
“I can see that.” He smiles. “There was nothing wrong with your old bed. It was kinda fun when we were practically sleeping on top of each other.”
“Yeah, but your bed was better for…well…never mind.” She clears her throat. “Um, I still have some of your old pajama pants in my drawer, you can wear those if you want.”
“I’m good with just boxers if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh, um sure.” She gets off the bed to stand up. “I’m just gonna go wash up and change.”
Harry nods and gets undressed. He goes over to her bathroom door to wait his turn. Blair’s eyes widen when she sees him standing there in his underwear.
“You don’t have a spare toothbrush, do you?”
“Um, you can use one of the extra heads I have for my electric brush.”
“Thanks.” He steps into the bathroom as she leaves to go back to her bedroom.
“Oh my god.” She says to herself. He had beefed up a bit. Harry was already sort of beefy, but he used to be leaner. Had he been getting a lot of protein? She shakes her head as she crawls into bed. Harry comes in shortly after and gets in on the other side. She turns her head to look at him. “Thank you, Harry.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He looks at her. “I’d be a pretty shitty person to leave you in a time like this.”
“Yeah, but you could be catching tail at some bar with your friends.” She smirks at him.
“You make me sound like I’m promiscuous or something.” He chuckles and turns fully on his side towards her. She does the same. “It’s a stress reliever, and I always wrap it up. M’not doing anything wrong.”
“Do you, um, do what we used to do with any of these hookups?”
“No.” He smirks. “No, I don’t think I could ever trust someone in that way again even if I tried.” He chews his bottom lip. “What about you?”
“Harry, to be honest with you…I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.”
��Blair, that was a year ago.”
“I’m well aware.” She rolls her eyes.
“That’s a long fucking dry spell.”
“It’s not a dry spell, it’s a personal choice. I threw myself into the studio, I worked on choreographing a ton of new dances. I was building my brand, bringing in more clientele. Plus…anytime I’d use a dating app or go out with Riley to a bar…no one was ever you.”
“I know things seemed mutual and we didn’t end in some big blow up…but I was so hurt that we couldn’t make things work.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I thought we were going to be together forever.”
“So did I…but I don’t know if I was ready for something so long-term yet, which I know sounds stupid because three years is a long time to be with someone.”
“It’s not stupid. I would have felt the same at that age. It was sort of selfish of me to try to lock you down the way I was.”
“You weren’t being selfish for wanting to be with me, Harry.”
“You know, the last thing I expected when I helped Riley move in that semester was falling in love with her roommate. You just looked so cute that day.”
“You remember how I looked when we first met?”
“How could I forget? You were wearing these sweater leggings that had snow flakes on them, and you were wearing this oversized sweater that was hanging off your shoulder, and you kept trying to tug it back on. You seemed so flustered around me.”
“I was.” She laughs. “I thought for sure you just wanted to fuck me and then leave with the way you pushed me up against the wall when you kissed me.”
“Yeah, you nearly shit yourself at dinner afterwards. Poor Riley had no idea I frenched you for a solid thirty minutes.”
“My lips were so swollen, she had to have known. I was more in shock when you came by a week later to ask me out. God, you were so cute, you were waiting outside my apartment with hot apple cider, and I had such a shit day at my practicum. I was in dingy sweats too, and you still told me I looked beautiful.”
“And I meant it.”
“Then you said I looked tired, and right before I went off on you, you pulled me inside and said that you were going to make me dinner so I could go upstairs and take a long hot shower.”
“Mhm, made you spaghetti and meatballs.”
“And that really yummy homemade garlic bread.” She smiles.
“Then we cuddled up and watched Ratatouille.” He chuckles.
“I was so mad that you had never seen it! And then you ended up loving it.”
“It’s a great movie, honestly.” He says, smiling at her. “Best first date ever.”
“Yeah, it was. When I went to sleep that night I couldn’t believe that a real man wanted to be with me. I don’t think any of the guys I dated in college knew how to cook.”
“Pretty sure I did a good job making you forget about any other guy you had ever been with.” He smirks, and she nudges his shoulder.
“Maybe…maybe when I’m in a better mindset…we could talk about…I mean…I’ve been thinking about you a lot ever since we started talking again, sorry, I’m rambling.” She sighs. “I don’t want you to think that I wanna give things another shot because you’ve been helping me and my mom, but it’s been hard not to think about it…especially after today.” She blinks away a few tears. “I wasn’t expecting you to come to the service. Riley felt awful that she couldn’t be there, and I felt so alone, even being with my mom. You’re so selfless.” She pouts at him.
“I would love to talk about potentially getting back together. I…I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until you walked into my office. I thought I was out having the time of my life, but I wasn’t. Nobody could ever compare to you.”
“I think I just need some time to make sure I’m not…I’m not just feeling this way because you’re being so sweet to me when no one else is.”
“Take all the time you need.” He strokes her cheek. “M’gonna turn over now. If you just so happen to feel like spooning me, I promise not to question it.”
“Please, snuggling sounds like the perfect medicine after today. Assume the position, Styles.”
He chuckles and rolls onto his other side. Blair slots a leg between his, and wraps her arm around his stomach. They both sigh, and wiggle closer to one another. Blair hadn’t felt peace like this in quite some time, and neither had Harry.
//
Blair woke up in a fog the next morning. Her eyes still felt puffy and swollen from crying, and even though the clock read 10AM, she felt like she could stay in bed for at least two more hours. She remembers Harry staying and falling asleep with her, but he wasn’t there next to her now. Where he laid was still warm, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. When she smells coffee, she wakes up a bit more. There was a coffee cup from Dunkin’ on her side table, along with a small bag that she knew had to be a coffee cake muffin. She sits up and sees a note next to the casual breakfast.
Had to rush off to the office this morning. Got a call that one of my major clients passed, and his family is already fighting over the money. Had to time to run out and get you brekkie though! I’ll call you later. – H
Blair pouts at the note, and takes a sip of her coffee, which had cooled down just enough for her to sip it without burning her tongue. She texts Harry a quick “thank you” before diving into her muffin. This was his signature “sorry for not being there when you wake up” breakfast treat. There had been many mornings Blair had woken up alone after spending the night with him. It wasn’t because Harry liked scooting out, he just usually got pulled away due to something work related, and he knew that Blair liked being able to sleep in when she could on the weekends, especially when she was still in school. She never minded because she knew he was busy. She used to just lounge around for an hour or so in his large bed before getting up and making it. Then she’d take an indulgent bath in his Jacuzzi-tub. He’d usually get back to her sometime in the afternoon, and they would snuggle up to watch a movie before he brought her back to her apartment. It worked for them.
There were plenty of times Blair had to scoot early as well. When she was doing her practicum, she needed to be at the high school no later than 7AM, which sucked because at the time she was a major night owl. It’s taken her years of discipline to get herself to fall asleep at a reasonable time so she wouldn’t be so groggy and grumpy in the morning. That was something that Harry helped with as well. He told her about this sleepy time playlist on Spotify that he would listen to on the nights he needed to go to bed early. Blair had told him she couldn’t afford the premium membership and she didn’t want to be jolted awake by ads. So what did Harry do? He bought the subscription plan that allowed for two people to be on it, helped her shift her account, and even though she protested, he insisted. The music sounded like something a masseuse would put on, and it always put her right to sleep. Harry was a genius, at least Blair thought so.
“How do you always have an answer for everything?” She had cried to him on a particularly stressful evening. It was after she graduated, and she had just gotten her business up and running. She felt overwhelmed and scared. “You always stay so calm, it’s like you don’t even care!”
“I just know that this’ll pass, baby. You just graduated from college, you’re going through a major life change. You’ve had the same routine all your life, and now it’s completely different. In a few months things won’t feel as scary.” He smiled at her, and wrapped his arms around her mid-section. “Went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I promise, it gets a lot better. Your early twenties fucking suck.”
“Yeah? How are things looking in the world of mid to late twenties?” She pouted up at him.
“Well,” he moved some hair away from her face, “I’ve got an incredible girlfriend who loves me, and I just so happen to love her, and I’m feeling settled in mt job, and I have a great place to live, and oh! Finally stopped having stress dreams about missing a big exam. Can’t complain too much.”
“I…I’m gonna be really busy at the studio. I have to choreograph all these dances, and start advertising, and-“
“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” He tugged her along down the hall to his home office.
“Harry, I’m not in the mood to fuck in your office…” She said, and Harry chuckled.
“As much as I love it when you let me bend you over my desk, that’s not what this is about.” He took her inside and took out a few sheets of blank paper and some pens. He sat down and pulled her into her lap. “Alright, this used to help me all the time when I was super stressed, still does, actually.” She watched as he drew three large circles, and wrote CHOREOGRAPHY in one, SOCIAL MEDIA, in another, and BUDGET
in the last. “Alright, so these are some rather large cookies, wouldn’t you say?” He looked up at her, and she looked down at him and nodded. “Okay, so what are some ways we can take little bites out of these?”
“Like a checklist for each?”
“Sort of, yeah.” He drew a few stems from each circle. “Almost like a backwards flow chart.”
“Is this what you do with your clients when they ask for financial advice?”
“Sometimes.” He nodded. “But more importantly, I want to help my girlfriend who is insanely frazzled. I hate when people try to be problem solvers…so hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do…”
“No.” She shook her head. “This is great. I think if I have it all laid out in front of me…and can check certain things off…take smaller bites, like you said, I can handle things better.” She grabbed a pen and started writing, and making more stems, color coding a few of them. “My parents are gonna help cover the loan payments for the first year so I can save up, and start paying off my student loans.” She chewed her bottom lip. “And I can set aside some time in the mornings to do the social media stuff, and use the afternoons for choreography…evenings I can work on my website.”
“Just think of how sweet it’ll all taste by the time you finish.” He smiled up at her, and she leaned in to peck his lips.
“I love you, Harry, thank you.”
“I love you too, baby.” He kissed her again, ever so tenderly and soft. “Don’t let this stuff build up, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I just feel like my problems are so trivial, like, there are people that are starving, and I’m crying about being overwhelmed.”
“Your feelings are valid, don’t compare it to what someone else might be going through.”
“Do you think, um, could you just hold me for a bit?” It was so rare for Blair to be this vulnerable. Usually she was the one to hold Harry, but once in a while she just really needed him.
“Of course.” He shifted in his seat to cradle her to his chest. He was so warm and inviting, he always made Blair feel safe.
Blair sighs, and shakes herself from the memory. She couldn’t bask in the good times and act as if there weren’t also bad times. Although…there really weren’t that many bad times. She finishes up her muffin and gets out of bed. She grimaced when she saw herself in her bathroom mirror, and decided a long, hot shower would do her some good. She didn’t have the energy to wash her hair, so she grabs a scrunchie to put it up in a bun on the top of her head. As the warm water cascades over her body, she can’t help but continue to let her mind wander to other old memories.
“Harry! I told you I’d be five minutes.” Blair whispered to Harry as he entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and smirked. “Riley’s home! Just down the hall sleeping.” Harry pulled back the shower door, and walked into it with her. All he did was put a finger up to his lips.
“Then we’ll need to be quiet.” He whispered to her, ghosting his lips over hers.
“I…I’ve never had sex in the shower before. I always heard it wasn’t as cracked up as it looks in the movies.”
“That’s because people try too hard to do it full on.” He stepped into the water, getting his hair wet, and then moves her so she’s pressed up against the wall. He knelt in front of her, and looked up at her wet body. “Can I make you feel good, baby?”
“Y-yes.”
He grinned, and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.
“Now, you need to stay quiet.” He pressed his lips to one of her hip bones, and kissed across her pelvis. “So, if it gets to be too much, just suck on your fingers or something, pull my hair, whatever you need to do.” She watched as his eyes darkened when he licked over her clit. His tongue moved to her slit and licked up. He moaned, letting his eyes flutter closed before looking back up at her. “You have no idea how fucking good you taste.”
“Blair!” Riley exclaims as she comes into the apartment. Blair’s taken from her thoughts just as she was whimpering out Harry��s name.
“I’m in the shower!” Blair yells back, and finishes cleaning herself up. She meets Riley out in the living room once she’s thrown some sweats on. “Hi.”
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there.” Riley wraps her arms around her friend.
“You couldn’t have known.” Blair hugs her back. “A month in Chicago, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” They let go of each other.
“Are you sure you wanna talk about all that?”
“Yeah, I need the distraction.”
“Alright. I brought coffee and doughnuts.” Riley smiles.
“Thank you, but I might save that for later. I had coffee and a muffin earlier…um, Harry spent the night last night.” Blair blushes as they both move to sit on the couch.
“Holy shit! Pleas don’t tell me you called him for a booty call.” Riley frowns.
“No, it was nothing like that. I told you he was helping with all of the legal stuff…he ended up coming to the funeral unannounced. He was there for me…he drove me home and I asked him to stay. We just slept, and he was gone before I woke up because of a work thing.”
“Ah, and he brought you the old comfort breakfast to make up for it.” Riley shakes her head. “Well, I’m glad he was there for you. I always hoped you would become friends at some point after you broke up.”
“I don’t think I realized how much I missed him. I’ve been so independent for the last year, it felt kind of nice to lean on him for a change.”
“Do you think you wanna get back together?”
“I don’t know…I was definitely feeling something yesterday, even this morning, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m just sad and vulnerable, or if it’s because I really wanna give it a second go. I don’t really know what would be different this time. He still works crazy hours, and-“
“He’s dialed back a lot.” Riley cuts him off. “Ever since he’s taken over, and once he really got settled into it, he hasn’t been working himself to the bone like he was. Are there still some sixty-hour weeks? Sometimes, but not like he was, I swear.”
“He didn’t seem to think we still spoke…so that made me think you weren’t as close with him…”
“I don’t hang out with him as much…I speak with his friend John quite a bit, though.” Riley blushes.
“Speak to or fuck?” Blair smirks.
“Don’t. If Harry knew I was messing around with one of his boys, god, I don’t even wanna think about it.”
“Oh, so he can go out with your friend, but you can’t go out with his?”
“John and I aren’t going out. We just…meet up to fuck sometimes, but we both still hookup with other people. I mean, I’m sure he slept with his share of people while I was away.”
“Did you?”
“There were a couple of people I let take me back to my hotel, yeah.” Riley nods. “Don’t say anything to Harry, okay?”
“Christ, I’m not his best friend all of a sudden. I think I was just emotional last night. I doubt we’ll even-“
There’s a jingle of keys, and then Harry’s entering the apartment. He freezes when he sees Riley.
“Hey! You’re back.” He smiles at his cousin. “How was Chicago?”
“Windy.” Riley says. “But fun, I made a ton of sales.”
“That’s great.” Harry sets the keys on the kitchen counter and then comes further into the living area. “How are you this morning?” He asks Blair.
“I’m okay, um, thanks for breakfast.”
“Yeah, of course, sorry I had to skip out. Uh, I just came back to see how you were, but I can see your girl’s day has started, so I’ll head out.”
“You can stay, Har, we were just gonna paint our nails, nothing you haven’t done with us before.” Riley says. “You don’t mind, right, Blair?”
“S-sure, you can stay, Harry…if you want to.”
“I’d love to stay.” He comes over and sits down on Blair’s other side. “Nothing like giving you a Styles sandwich to make you feel better.” He smirks. “Alright, Riles, what colors did you bring?”
The three ended up having a great day together. It felt like old times. They painted their nails, ordered Chinese, and watched Mystic Pizza. Riley was starting to get tired, so she left around six. The jet lag was catching up with her. So it was just Harry and Blair sitting on the couch watching Wall-E.
“Do you remember the first time we watched this?” Harry asks her a few minutes in.
“Mhm.” Blair smiles without looking at him. “It was that weekend we went away Hampton Beach, and it rained in the evening, so instead of being annoyed, we got all cozy and watched this.”
“After…” He looks at her, a smirk growing on his face.
“Harry.” She rolls her eyes.
“Come on, what did we do just before settling in to watch this adorable film?”
Blair sighs, but gives in, “We made hot fudge sundaes, and, um, I let you lay me on the counter and lick chocolate sauce and whipped cream off my body.” She swallows. “Then I did the same to you. We made a mess of the Air BnB.”
“We cleaned it up. Then we got into that big, comfy bed and just vegged out. Think this is one of my favorite Pixar films that you showed me.”
“You really liked Cars too.” Blair chuckles.
“Yeah, I did. That was a good one.” Harry leans back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head.
“You don’t need to do this, you know?”
“Do what, love?” He says without looking at her, eyes focused on the screen.
“Babysit me.” She mutters.
“S’not what I’m doing.” He scoffs. “I’m enjoying spending time with you, Blair.” He looks at her. “And I’m worried about you, but I’m not babysitting you.” He puts his hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze before taking it away. “Just relax, yeah?”
“Thanks.” She pauses for a moment. “Harry…would you be taking care of me like this if you had a new girlfriend?” Her eyes start to well up with tears. “Because-“
“Why are you asking a what if like that?” He reaches to wipe her tears with his thumbs. “At the risk of sounding totally lame…I was sort of just waiting on you. Sort of hoping you’d wanna get back together at some point. I tried dating, but it’s like I told you…no one was ever you.”
“So you just kept fucking strangers?” She was so confused.
“It was all meaningless. I figured if you were out there living your life, then I should do the same.” He shrugs.
“Harry, I know you think we broke up because you thought I needed time to be young or whatever, but I wasn’t out there fucking a ton of different people. I just…I don’t know, I wanted to be on my own.”
“And I understood that, as much as it upset me. What was I going to do, beg you to stay my girlfriend?” He moves a bit closer to her. “If we were to get back together, what would you want to be different? Obviously things stopped working…”
“It’s not that they stopped working, I just…I think I just grew up a little bit. You gave me plenty of room for it, but I just sort of realized that there were other things I wanted to do and I didn’t wanna be totally tied down. If we were to get back together, I wouldn’t want you paying for things all the time, or thinking you need to fix all of my problems. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without making suggestions, you know?”
“I didn’t even realize I was doing that.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I know you always meant well, and you were just trying to help in your own way.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It didn’t always bother me, but sometimes it did. I wasn’t perfect either, I know how closed off I could get.” She furrows her brows. “I’ve been trying to work on that. I added the yoga into my routines…so that’s been helping. You sort of inspired that.”
“I should start my membership back up.”
“Yeah…it would be nice to see you in class again.”
“Remember when I started coming on Tuesday evenings, and then we’d go to the Thai place for dinner afterwards?”
“Mhm, and then you’d take us back to your place, and set up a bath for us.” She sighs dreamily. “And then you’d massage my calves for me, ugh, I always loved that.”
“Couldn’t have my baby being sore the next morning, could I?” He pouts playfully at her, and she giggles.
“You were always so good to me.” Her face was only a few inches from his now.
“Fucking worshiped you.” His lips ghost over hers, and she whimpers.
“Kiss me, Harry.”
His lips slot over hers immediately, and cups her cheeks to pull her even closer. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she whimpers again. Blair tugs on Harry’s shirt, and then pushes his back to the couch. She moves to straddle him, and he wraps his arms around her body. They’re both grabbing at different parts of one another, and she shifts so she’s only straddling one of his thighs, rolling her hips down onto it. Harry groans, and starts kissing on her neck. She gets a fist full of his hair, and yanks his head back.
“Harry, I don’t think this is a good idea.” She admits. “I mean…we haven’t agreed to anything. I think we should take this slow, don’t you?”
“You just told me to kiss you, and then you climbed into my lap.” He smirks, and she starts laughing.
“Yeah.” She grips his chin with her other hand. “You’re always good at doing exactly what I say.”
“Always.” He agrees. “If you’re not planning on having your way with me then you should get off. You’re only gonna rile me up, and I’ve not done anything to deserve that.”
“No, I suppose you deserve a reward instead of a punishment.” She presses her forehead to his and lets her hands fall to his shoulders. She sighs heavily and then looks at him again. “I need a little more time. I wanna make sure that this really makes sense. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you again.”
“I don’t want you to feel hurt either.” He squeezes her hips. “I wanna give you the time, Blair, but you’ve also had a year to sort your feelings. You either wanna do this or you don’t.”
“I really hate it when you’re right.” She huffs. “But I know what you’re saying.”
“How about this…why don’t we go out Saturday night? We could go on a date, and see how it feels.”
“Why not Friday?”
“Because you work early on Saturday mornings, darling, and you’re just going to be getting back to it again.” He tucks some hair behind her hear. “Can’t have you being sleepy.”
“You’re so sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, yeah, I’d like that. Um, did you want to just go out for dinner?”
“If that’s what you wanna do, baby. I’m down for whatever.”
“I haven’t been to that grill we used to go to all the time in forever. Feel like I could go for a really good burger.”
“Alright, we’ll go to Benson’s. I’ll pick you up around six, how’s that sound?”
“I think it sounds like a date.”
//
On Wednesday evening, much to Blair’s surprise, Harry walked into one of her evening classes with Riley. Riley had a cheeky smile on her face, and Blair just shook her head at the two of them. It had been ages since Harry had been to one of her classes, and he had picked a yoga day.
“Good evening, everyone!” Blair says once everyone gets there. “We’re gonna start off with our warm up, and then get in to it. We’ll work a little with the weights, and then we’ll cool down with the yoga like always. Does everyone have their weights?” She hears a collective yes. “Alright!” She hops up onto the small stage and gets the music playing.
When the class is over, a few people hang back to talk to Blair. Riley would usually grab a quick bite with her after class. A guy was talking to her now.
“Hey, who is that?” Harry asks Riley as they clean up their stations.
“Hm? Oh, that’s Rich, he has a thing for Blair.” Riley rolls her eyes. “He refuses to take a hint. The second he found out she was single he was all over her. She’s nice to him, but she doesn’t like him back.”
Harry narrows his eyes, and reads Blair’s body language like a book. Her arms were crossed, and she was casually trying to step away from Rich.
“I’ll get him to leave her alone.” Harry says.
“Harry, don’t.” Riley grabs his wrist. “She can handle herself.”
“I know she can, but she looks so uncomfortable. What if they were left alone here, and he tried something. He needs to know she has some backup.” Harry walks over to the two, and Blair can’t help but smirk because she knows exactly why Harry’s walking over. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we should get going if we want to make trivia night.”
“Right! Yeah, sorry, Rich, I need to get the studio cleaned up so I can head out.” Blair was thankful. Harry was always good at coming up with excuses for them to leave places early. Usually it was because he needed to get her home so she could fuck him, obviously now that wasn’t the case.
“Oh…alright, well, I’ll see you next week. Have a good night.” Rich looks Harry up and down before leaving.
“Thank you.” Blair sighs. “He’s a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”
“Obviously.” Harry scoffs. “Have fun with Riley.”
“You don’t wanna come with?”
“Nah, I need to get home. I have some stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Still on for Saturday?”
“Mhm.” She nods with a smile.
“Good.” He kisses her cheek. “I’ll call you Friday.”
Harry leaves and Riley helps Blair cleanup before they head out to a Panera for dinner.
“So, you two are going out on Saturday?” Riley asks her when they sit down with their food.
“Yeah, it’s sort of like a first date. I wanna make sure things feel really right with us. I have a feeling we’ll get back together officially, though.”
“Yeah? What makes you think that?” Riley smirks.
“Well…we kissed on Sunday night when he was still over. It was a really good kiss too, it was familiar, but there was still that, like, passion, you know?”
“I would love it if you got back together. I never really liked the other people he dated, and I was so excited when you both got together. He’s like the brother I never had, and I want him with someone that really cares about him. I never doubted that with you. You guys got together at a weird time in your life where you were sort of at different places. Now…well, now you might mesh better. You grew up a lot during the time you were together, I know that was tough on you both.”
“Yeah, it was.” Blair sighs, and bites into her piece of bread. “I feel like I could handle things better now. He’s been there for me during so many tough times, he’s seen me…at my absolute worst, and still loved me through all of it. I can’t wrap my head around him turning into such a playboy.”
“I couldn’t believe it myself, but I honestly don’t think he really knew how to deal with not having you around, and then…I don’t know.” Riley shakes her head. “He always wrapped it up, that’s what John told me, anyways.”
“He mentioned that to me too.” Blair rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to hold anything against him, we weren’t together. I don’t have the right to judge him about it.”
“He only wanted you, B.” Riley smiles.
“I really have missed him.” Blair smiles. “I’m really looking forward to going out with him Saturday night.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wanna come with me to Victoria’s Secret during the day? I think I should pick out something new…”
“Yeah! I’ve got a coupon to go there, actually. I need some new undies.”
“Oh, yay! We haven’t been shopping in forever.”
“I know! I hope I’m not on the road for an entire month like that again. It got old real quick.”
//
On Friday, Harry was in his office wrapping some things up, going over some paperwork. Then he looked over his calendar for Monday, just to see what meetings he had, and if he needed to do anything over the weekend.
“Mr. Styles?” Kiley, the intern training with Kate comes into his office.
“Miss Stewart, what can I do you for?” He asks, giving her his full attention. She pouts slightly at him.
“You can just call me Kiley…you call Kate by her first name.”
“I’ve known Kate for quite some time, Miss Stewart.”
“Well, we’ll get to know each other pretty well once she’s on maternity…right?”
“Most likely.” He nods. “Did you need something?”
“Yes, sorry.” She pulls a paper out of her bag. “Um, I just need you to sign off on the hours I worked this week since Kate left early. I forgot to ask her before she stepped out for her doctor’s appointment.”
“Oh, sure.” He gestures for the paper. “They’re really on you guys about the hours, huh?”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t mind, though, because I have to write a paper explaining what I did, so having an account of that will be helpful.” She shrugs. Harry hums his response as he signs the paper and hands it back to her. “Thank you…any fun plans for the weekend?”
“Just laying low tonight. I’ve got a date tomorrow, though.” He smiles.
“Oh! That’s nice.” She smiles. “Did you just meet someone?”
“No.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Might be starting over with my ex, which I’m pretty excited about since I’m still hopelessly in love with her.”
“Well in that case, I hope it goes super well.” She beams at him.
“Thank you, Kiley.” Her smile widens at him even more. “Feel free to head out, enjoy your weekend.”
“Thank you, Mr. Styles. I expect a full report of your date on Monday morning.”
Harry chuckles and nods as she leaves. Just when he thought his door was going to close, John enters.
“Wrap it buddy boy, we gotta meet the guys soon.”
“About that…I’m going to skip out on tonight.”
“Seriously? Why?” John frowns.
“I…I have a date tomorrow night with Blair, and-“
“You can’t be serious.” John rolls his eyes and sits down. “Why would you even entertain the idea of getting back together with her?”
“Because she seems ready for a relationship again. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. There’s still a chemistry between us, physically, so we’re going to Benson’s for a burger tomorrow to see if everything else is still there.”
“So that means you can’t come out for guy’s night?”
“You know as well as I do that guy’s night never stays guy’s night. I don’t want to be tempted by anything that could fuck me over. Besides, it wouldn’t kill me to stay in for a change. There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get back to. I wouldn’t mind just taking it easy, you guys have a good time without me.” Harry smiles at his friend. “It’s nothing personal…”
“I know.” John sighs. “You’re just fun, that’s all…” John looks down at his phone and smirks.
“Maybe you’ll meet up with that girl you see on the regular. Seems like she just texted you.”
“Maybe she did.” John nods.
“How come you don’t just date her? I’ve watched you turn down other girls to go meet up with her a dozen times.”
“It’s a little complicated. She travels a lot for work, we’re both just looking for someone familiar to hookup with right now.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Harry shrugs. “You’re pretty busy yourself”
“Exactly, so when’s around I see her more, and when she’s gone, I see other people. She does the same. We’re pretty open about it.”
“Good.” Harry smiles. “Have a beer for me tonight, yeah?”
“Alright.” John sighs and stands up. “Have fun with Blair, I guess.”
“You could sound a little more enthused.”
“I’ll be enthused if she doesn’t string you along.”
“She never strung me along.” Harry shakes his head. “We were a great team.”
“Seems like you were always doing everything for her.”
“No, she did plenty for me.”
“Babe?! I picked up a pizza!” Blair shouted as she entered Harry’s place, putting her key in the bowl by the door. “Baby?!” He wasn’t in the kitchen like she thought he’d be. She set the pizza down on the counter and walked down the hall to his home office. Her jaw dropped when she saw him knuckling at his eyes. “Harry, are you crying?” She asked softly.
“Blair.” He said, almost surprised. “Hi, I lost track of time, I’m sorry. Let’s eat.” He stood up, but she went over to him and urged him to sit.
“What happened, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, baby.”
“It’s not nothing if you’re crying. Talk to me.”
“I’m just really stressed.” His voice cracked. “I was looking forward to taking over for my dad, but there’s so much other shit that’s been added to my plate that he didn’t really prepare me for. Now he’s down in Florida living it up with my mum, and I can’t even talk to him about it because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s trusting me with everything.”
“That’s a lot.” She wipes=d his tears away. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Is…is there anything I can do to help? Anything I can do to help take your mind off things for a bit? I brought pizza…”
“Um…yeah, I think there is something you could do for me, but it doesn’t involve food.” He stood and took her hand, leading her out to the living room. They both sat down. “Sometimes when we’re having sex…I let you take the lead, have you noticed that?”
“A little.” She shrugged. “I mean, I like that you’re not super dominating, it makes me feel safe.”
“Right, but before you I wasn’t really like that. I was always in control, but with you…I feel really safe too. So safe…that I’m able to just let everything else slip away when we’re doing what we do.”
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I…I sometimes I think I want you to really be in control. I’m not saying all the time, but I have to be in control of so many things, and I think it would be nice to not.”
“Okay, so I could ride you more if you want.”
“Well, that would be nice.” He smirked. “But I’m talking more like…like maybe you could blindfold me once in a while, or you could cuff me to the bed?” His was flushed with embarrassment. Her eyes widened as she finally started to understand what he was trying to say. “I’ve totally freaked you out, haven’t I? I know that stuff isn’t for everyone. I was just thinking we’ve been together a while now-“
“Harry, calm down.” She smiled, squeezing his hand. “I think it’s kind of hot that you wanna explore some different things.”
“You do?”
“Mhm.” She nodded. “I…just don’t ask me to, like, whip you or anything. I don’t think I could hurt you.”
“No, I’m not looking for pain.” He chuckled. “I just…wanna clear my head sometimes, that’s all.”
“Okay, I think I could be into that. You know how much I love all your ties, I’d love to tie you up with them.” She grinned, and he groaned softly.
“What do you say we leave the pizza for later, and we head into the bedroom to explore a little bit?”
“I say we’re in for a fantastic weekend.”
“Whatever you say man.” John says. “See you Monday.” John leaves Harry’s office, and Harry sighs. He never told anyone about what he and Blair did, it was no one’s business. He certainly wasn’t going to let it slip now.
//
At around 10AM Saturday morning, Blair picked up Riley so they could go shopping. Riley had bags under her eyes, and a fresh hickey on her neck. Blair’s mouth fell open the second Riley got in the car.
“Don’t.” Riley mumbles.
“I didn’t say anything.” Blair chuckles.
“But I know what you’re thinking.”
“Did you meet up with John last night?”
“Yeah, I guess Harry didn’t feel like going out last night, so I met up with him at some bar, and then he came back with me to my place.”
“Oh shit, is still there?”
“No, he left at, like, seven.” Riley rolls her eyes. “But not before he fucked me again.” She shakes her head. “We’ve fucked so many times, I don’t know how he’s not sick of me yet, or how I’m not sick of him.”
“Maybe it’s a sign you two should be more.” Blair smirks.
“I mean, we’re basically just in an open relationship, that’s the way I look at it anyways.” She shrugs. “We were up most of the night.” She yawns loudly.
“You could have stayed home.” Blair frowns as she keeps her eyes on the road.
“No, it’s okay, I wanted to go shopping with you.”
The girls make their way to a Victoria’s Secret, and start shopping around. Just as Riley hoped, there was an underwear sale. Blair indulged in it as well. Nothing wrong with getting some new undies to replace some old ones.
“Oh, these are cute!” Blair says, holding up a cheeky pair of panties.
“Yeah! I’ve been way more into the lace cheeky bottoms instead of thongs lately.”
“Me too! It’s way more comfortable. To be honest, I wear boxers a lot around my apartment. They’re more breathable than athletic shorts, and they don’t ride up.”
“Of course men have more comfortable underwear than us.” Riley sighs heavily. “Oh! Look at these white ones! Can never have too many white pairs.”
“Snag me a pair, please.”
Once the girls are done picking out their underwear, and a couple of bras that were two $50 (yes, way overpriced, but necessary), they head to the part of the store where the lingerie was.
“What are you looking for exactly?” Riley asks as she looks over some babydoll nighties.
“I don’t know, nothing crazy, but if things go well tonight, which I think they will, I wanna surprise him with something fun.”
“You’d really jump into bed with him right away?” There was no judgement in Riley’s voice, more so surprise.
“I mean…I know he’s your cousin and all, but he’s pretty hard to resist, Riles. He had me wrapped around his finger from the second we met.”
“Fair enough.” Riley shrugs. “I might try one of these on…surprise John one of these nights.”
The girls giggle as they pick out different things. Blair ends up finding a black lace bralette and matching panties that she thinks will work well under an outfit. The only thing was the bralette didn’t have any support, like, at all, but she was able to adjust the straps on it a bit to give her a slight lift.
“God, I wish I danced as a kid.” Blair huffs as she leaves the dressing room to meet Riley out at the register line.
“Why?”
“Because then maybe I wouldn’t have these fucking honkers on my chest. I’d love to be able to wear a bralette without worrying. My boobs are so saggy, I look like a granny when I don’t have the proper support.”
“You’re being dramatic.” Riley chuckles.
“Easy for you to say, Miss B Cup.”
“Hey, I’d kill to have boobs like yours. I always feel like mine are too small. I have to wear pushups all the time. Besides, your boobs are not saggy, they just sit a little lower on your chest.”
“When I really started dancing I thought they’d get smaller since I was working out all the time, but nope. The worst part is, it’s all right here.” She lifts her arm slightly and rubs just under her armpit. “I’m only a C, but I feel like a double D sometimes when I put a bra on, it takes all the side boob to the front.” Blair puts her things up on the counter, and Riley goes to the next register.
“Find everything okay?” The girl behind the register asks.
“Mhm.” Blair smiles. “I have some coupons too.” She takes her phone out so the girl can scan the barcodes on Blair’s screen.
“Oh, that’s a good one! Took off 25% of your total.” The girl puts everything into a bag for Blair, and she heads out with Riley.
“So, when will John get to see that babydoll?” Blair smirks at Riley.
“When I feel like he deserves it.” Riley grins. “If he invites me over tonight, I might bring it with me.”
“Do you usually see him two nights in a row?”
“Sometimes, but not often. I think he missed me a little since I was gone for so long. Kinda missed him too. He told me he’d call me later today.” She shrugs.
The girls grab a quick lunch before heading home. Blair didn’t want to eat anything too heavy since she was going to be eating out for dinner, so she just had a salad. She spent some time doing some social media work for her business, and then spent some time putting a new dance together. Her customers had been asking for some more throwbacks, so she was crafting some choreography to a couple of Ricky Martin songs. They could be used for the high intensity days. She always recorded herself so she could go back later to review the steps.
When she was done she was drenched in sweat, so she hops into the shower to freshen up. She sort of ends up pampering herself a bit. She shaved her legs, so she massaged some lotion into them, and used some cocoa butter on her thighs because she liked the way it smelled. After that, she grabbed her electric razor to trip her bikini line, having exfoliated first in the shower, so she was plenty smooth where she wanted to be. She spritzes some perfume into the air and walks through it, then she gets to work on her hair. She had been sporting a shoulder length look lately. Her hair used to be really long in college, but in recent years she had been keeping it a tad shorter. It was up in a braid or bun most days, but she decides to wear it down tonight. She puts on some makeup, and then goes through her closet to find something to wear over her new lingerie. She decides on a pair of black jeans that could easily be word with some booties. She pulls on a blush pink tank top and a tan cardigan to complete the look. You could just see the lace top of the bralette, and she sort of liked that look. Her phone goes off just as she’s putting some lipstick on.
“Hello?” She answers brightly.
“Hey, baby, I’m downstairs.”
“Okay, be down in a sec!” She throws some makeup remover wipes into her bag, and a spare toothbrush, then she heads out. Again, she didn’t quite know what would happen tonight, but she wanted to be prepared. Harry was standing outside his car. He smiles when he sees her.
“Hi.” He says, and opens the car door for her.
“Hi, thanks.” She smiles back and gets inside. They head towards Benson’s, being silent in the car at first. “How was your week?” She asks him.
“Good, had a pretty good workout Wednesday.” He grins, looking at her for a moment before looking back at the road. It makes Blair giggle. “Work wasn’t too stressful for a change, although I’m getting anxious about Kate going on maternity leave.”
“Is the intern no good?”
“No, she just doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’ll get the hang of it.” He shrugs. “How was your week, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. I spoke with my mom last night, she’s doing alright. My aunt’s been staying with her, so that’s good.”
“Do you think she’ll sell the house?”
“Nah, she likes where she lives, but I think she’s going to paint and change a few things so it doesn’t feel like such a ghost town, you know?”
“Makes sense.” Harry nods. “I know I’ve offered a ton, but if she needs any help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I can hold my own with a paintbrush.”
“Thank you, Harry, that’s very sweet.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze. “It was really nice having you in class Wednesday.” She says shyly.
“Yeah? Would you be opposed if I started coming regularly again?”
“Not at all, I’d really like it, actually.” She smiles. “It…it made it easier to wait to see you tonight.” She blushes, and he reaches for one of her hands. He brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
“You’re cute.” He tells her, resting their hands on the console, not letting go at all.
They get to Benson’s, and get seated in a booth. Harry hesitates for a moment, desperately wanting to sit next to her, but he thinks that might be too much too soon, so he sits across from her. She gives him a funny look.
“What?” He asks.
“Nothing…you’re just far away. You usually sit next to me.”
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
“I want you to.” Harry smiles, stands back up, and slides in next to her. She hooks her arms around his and rests her cheek on his shoulder. “Much better.” She sighs. He kisses the top of her head, and a waitress comes over.
“Evening, folks, are you expecting anyone else?” She asks.
“No, love, it’s just us.” Harry says to her, squinting at her nametag. “Becky, is it?”
“Y-yes.” She clears her throat. “Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”
“Definitely two waters.” Blair begins. “And I’ll have a vodka-tonic, please.”
“I’ll have the same.” Harry says. “Do you want an app?” He asks Blair.
“No, I think just the burger will be good.”
“Right, think we’re ready to order dinner.” Harry says to Becky.
“Great! What can I get you?”
“I’ll have the turkey burger with cheddar cheese and sautéed mushrooms.” Blair says.
“And I’ll have veggie burger with avocado.” Harry says.
“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” Becky says, taking their menus before walking away.
“Just a veggie burger?” Blair asks Harry.
“Yeah, I’ve been craving a good one lately, and they make the best here.”
“Very true.” She nods. Becky comes back over with the drinks, and sets them on the table. “So…do anything fun last night?”
“I stayed in.” Harry says, before taking a sip of his drink. “Got caught up on a book I’ve been reading, watched a little TV, nothing special.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t go out with your friends. Isn’t Friday usually your guy’s night?”
“Yeah, I just felt like skipping last night.” He shrugs. “What about you, what did you do?”
“I ran errands all day, and then went to bed early so I could get up for my early classes this morning. Then Riley and I went shopping, and then I did some work at my place. Got ready to go out with you.” She shrugs.
“What does Riley have to say about all this?”
“She’s happy that we’re entertaining the idea of getting back together.” Blair chuckles and sips her drink. “Did you tell anyone we were going out tonight?”
“Mentioned it to my intern…and to John. He wasn’t so enthused.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“He’s never liked me, and I literally have no idea why.”
“Think he was just jealous that I snagged someone as gorgeous and bright as you.” Harry grins. “You know, when we first got together a ton of people gave me shit because you were still in school.”
“I was in my last semester, and I was twenty-one, it wasn’t like I was a child.” Blair scoffs.
“That’s what I said! It wasn’t like I was looking for someone younger than me, it just happened.”
“We just clicked right away, nothing wrong with that.” She inches a little closer to him, her ankle hooking around his under the table.
“Not at all.” His lips graze over hers, but their food is brought over to the table before they can really kiss.
They both giggle and dig into their food, each moaning out at the taste. They continue to talk about things, catching each other on the last year that they weren’t in one another’s lives. It felt easy and natural.
“I don’t wanna be too forward, but would you like to come back to mine when we’re done?” Harry asks.
“I’d like that.” She nods. “Got any sweets at home?”
“Mhm, I’ve got those chewy chocolate chip cookies you like so much.”
“This night just keeps getting better and better.” She smiles. When the check comes, they both reach for it.
“Blair, let go of the check.”
“No, I wanna pay for dinner.”
“I insist, let me pay.”
“Harry, I don’t want you always paying for everything, come on.”
“Fine, can we at least split it?”
“Ugh, fine.” She slaps her card down and so does he.
“So fucking irritating when you do that.” He huffs.
“No, what’s irritating is that you think I can’t pay for stuff.”
“That’s not what this is! I just like paying for our dates, it’s gentlemanly.”
“Yeah, well, it makes me feel like shit.” Becky comes to grabs the cards, and tells them she’ll be right back. “I’m doing well for myself now, I want things to be more equal. I’m not with you for your money.”
“I know you’re not, baby…I just…I can’t help that I wanna spoil you rotten.” He presses his forehead to hers, and she sighs before pecking his lips quickly.
“There are plenty of other ways you can do that, Harry.”
“Am I gonna have the chance?” Becky comes back with their cards, and they both sign their slips before sliding out of the booth. She takes his hand in hers as they walk out.
“Yes.” She says as they both get into the car. “I…I think wanna see where this goes with you, babe. I feel like I’m really ready for you now…”
“That means the world to me, Blair.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver, and he frowns. “Hey, why are you crying?” He reaches to caress her cheek.
“I just can’t believe you basically were waiting for me all this time.” She sniffles. “I feel so shitty. And I feel even shittier because I’m jealous of all the other people you slept with that we weren’t together.”
“Baby.” Harry sighs. “I was so in love with you, still am, none of them meant anything. I’m sorry you feel hurt by it. You don’t need to worry about it now, though, I’m all yours.” Her hand grips the collar of his shirt and she tugs him close to her, only a few centimeters apart.
“Mine.” She says, eyes darkening before her lips crash against his. She nips and sucks at his bottom lip as his hands cup her cheeks, trying to get even closer.
“Fuck.” He breathes, putting his keys in the ignition. “Need to get you home.” He pulls onto the street, and zips them home. His hand grips her thigh the entire time, squeezing it occasionally.
“Thought of you last weekend in the shower.” She says, shifting on her side a little. “Thought of the first time we had sex in the shower.” Her breath is on his ear now, and she nibbles on his lobe.
“Blair.” He warns, but she keeps going, kissing on his neck.
“Made me feel so good, always make me feel good.”
“Blair, I’m going to crash the car, just sit patiently, please.” She sits back normally in her seat. “Thank you.” He sighs. “So, you really thought of me?”
“It was hard not to with you leaving me breakfast.” She pouts at him. “So sweet of you, and I haven’t had a chance to even reward you for being so good to me.”
“You’re still into all that?” He asks cautiously.
“Only for you…do you still like it?”
“Only if it’s you. I told you I didn’t do that with anyone else.”
“You still trust me enough?”
“Course I do, baby.” He reaches for her hand to intertwine their fingers. He drives a little faster to his place, and they finally reach it. “Gonna take care of you first, and then you can do me, alright?”
“Whatever you want, babe.”
They get up to his place, somehow keeping their hands to themselves in the elevator. Before she knows it, Harry’s slamming Blair against the wall of his front hallway, attacking her neck with his lips.
“Gonna mark you up.” He says as he sucks on her skin. “Then everyone will know you’re taken again.”
She whimpers as her response, and pushes his head further into her neck. She wiggles out of her cardigan, and wraps her arms around his neck.
“Jump.” He grunts into her ear, and she does so, wrapping her legs around his waist so he can carry her to his bedroom. He sets her down on the bed, letting her get her shoes off. He does the same before kneeing onto the bed. She takes her tank top off, and his mouth waters at the sight of the bralette. “Christ.” He breathes as he gropes her supple breasts. “Missed these.” He sucks on her nipple through the lace, and her head rolls back. He does the same to the other one, getting it nice and pebbled. One of his hands slides down between her legs and he whimpers. “Need to get these off you, that okay?”
“Mhm, yeah, please.”
He undoes her button and zipper, yanking the jeans off of her. His eyes widen when he sees the matching panties.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Blair. Are these new?”
“Yeah, bought them today, just for you.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Wouldn’t mind you taking them off, though.”
Harry nearly growls as he tugs them down her legs. His hands slide up and down her smooth skin, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He spreads her legs apart, and starts leaving open mouthed kisses on her inner thighs, sucking some nasty bruises into them. Blair clutches at his blankets and grits her teeth while he has his fun marking her up.
“Can I?” He asks, looking up at her. “Can I taste you?”
“Yes, of course you can.” She reaches forward to push his hair back, and he smiles at her before licking up her slit.
He licks and sucks all around her folds before working his tongue around her clit, sucking on it briefly before bringing his thumb to it. He licks into her center, making her mewl as he essentially just makes out sloppily with the area.
“Yes, fuck.” Her hands rake through his hair. “Feels so good, Harry.” She grinds against his face, and he moans against her. “Harry, fingers, please, use your fingers.” She whines.
He lifts his head from her, and reaches his hand up to her so she can suck on his fingers. She does so happily, and then he slips two fingers inside her. She gasps and lets her body go slack against the bed.
“Baby, shit, you’re so fucking tight, does it hurt?”
“No, feels so god, m’so wet.”
“I know, you’re dripping.” He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them, moaning again before slipping them back inside to the knuckle.
“R-right there.” She whimpers. Her mouth was open, body writhing under his, having not been touched by another man in almost a year, her body was reacting on overdrive. Her back was arching, and she was pushing her head further into the mattress. “Harry, Harry!” She screams as she comes around his fingers, and he fucks her through it, sucking on her clit to prolong it. As she starts to come down he sits up, and starts taking his shirt off. “Fuck, I’m gonna give it to you so good.” She sits up and watches he takes his clothes off. She takes her bralette off, and tosses it on the floor.
“How do you want me?”
“That depends…um…what would you like me to do? Like, how…how hard do you wanna go tonight?”
“I wanna be able to touch you since it’s been so long, and I wanna be able to look at you.”
“Alright, so we can just keep it sweet and easy, save the rest for another time.”
“Yeah…work back up to it.”
“Get on your back, m’gonna ride you.”
Harry gets himself situated, sitting up against the headboard. Blair raises an eyebrow at him.
“Just wanna be as close as possible tonight, baby.”
“Okay.” She smiles, and gets herself on his lap.
“Are you still on the pill?”
“Mhm, are you okay to not use a condom?”
“Definitely don’t want to. Need feel you.”
“Need to feel you too.”
She grips his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before she guides it inside herself. Her mouth falls open as she feels him stretch her out. Harry looks down and watches as she swallows him whole. They both moan out once he’s full inside her. Her fingernails dig into his shoulders as she gets adjusted to him. His hands squeeze at her hips and ass.
“Shit, Harry.” She presses her forehead to his. “Missed you so much.”
“Missed you too.” He cups her cheeks and kisses her as she starts to slowly rock on and off him. His tongue slips into her mouth, and she grips at his back as she kisses him back. “You feel so fucking good.” He says before biting her bottom lip, sucking on it.
She whimpers and moves herself a little faster on him. She grinds herself against him, feeling the friction on her clit start to form. His arms wrap around her back, his fingers digging into her skin.
“Move with me.” She says into his ear before nibbling on it.
He groans as he starts to thrust up into her. She starts to bounce up and down him, moving his hands to her hips. He watches as her breasts bounce in front of his face, and he leans in to kiss and suck on them. Her head rolls back with pleasure. She wanted to feel his tongue all over her. She brings two fingers to his mouth, and he takes them in quickly. He looks up at her as he sucks on them, swirling his tongue around them, and nipping at the pads of them. She takes them away to rub at her clit.
He growls, and moves to pin her on her back, surprising her completely. He was never like this in bed with her. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he throws one of her legs over his shoulder, and replaces her fingers with his own. She groans at his touch. He was driving himself in so much deeper and she could barely handle it.
“Okay?” He asks her, panting slightly.
“Mhm, it’s good, so good.” One of her hands goes to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy kiss. They breathe each other in and out once they both start panting. “Harry, fuck, I’m so close.” She squeezes around him and he bites down on her shoulder.
“Blair.” He moans into her ear. “Can I come inside you?”
“Yes! Fuck, yes, please!” She screams as she’s coming again, feeling even more turned on when she feels Harry’s hot come start to fill her up. She grinds her hips towards his trying to make her orgasm last as long as possible. “Love it when you fill me up, feels so good.” She says as she continues to squeeze around him.
He slots his mouth over hers as they both start to come down. Their tongues mold together as they kiss lazily. He’s slow to pull out, but he was too sensitive to stay inside her any longer. She squeezes her legs closed to try to not make a mess. Harry scoops Blair up quickly bridal style to carry her to the bathroom, setting her down gently on the toilet, and leaving her to do her business. When she walks out of the bathroom, he’s laying on his bed in a fresh pair of boxers with a dreamy smile on his face. She climbs onto the bed and lays in between his legs, resting her head on his tummy. She buries her face into his soft skin while he starts to card through her mussed up hair.
“So…we’re really back together?” He asks after a few moment of peaceful silence. She looks up at him with a smile on her face.
“Yeah, I really wanna be your girlfriend again.”
“You have no idea how happy I feel right now.” He continues to play with her hair as she sets her head back down.
“You’ve never really taken control like that before…I kinda liked it.” She peers up at him again, grinning. “Maybe I should see what being the sub feels like sometime.”
“Oh, baby, I don’t know if I could switch like that. Don’t think I’d get much pleasure in making you wait for things. Think I’d give in the second you asked for something.” He chuckles.
“You’re so cute, Harry, but I understand what you’re saying. I don’t mind being the one to do that stuff when you really need it, babe.” She moves further up his body so she can be closer to his face. “Do you think in a bit when you’re ready to go again we could…bring out some of your ties?”
“Feel like I’m already bloating back up, fuck.” He groans, and kisses her.
“You know what I’ve really missed doing with you?” She says, moving her lips to the shell of his ear.
“What, baby?”
“Fucking that tight hole of yours.” She says lowly, and he whimpers.
“Yes.” He breathes, and she looks at him. “Still have everything, it just hasn’t been used in a while.”
“Would you really wanna get into all of that tonight? I mean, I’m game if you are…you seemed hesitant before.”
“I just wanted to feel really close with you before, but now that we’ve got that out of our system I’m definitely up for it.” He pecks her lips. “We’ve got the rest of the weekend to do all we want.”
“Mmm, and the weekend after that, and the weekend after that, and maybe sometimes during the middle of the week. Oh! Remember when I used to come to your office at work, and I’d let you bend me over your desk, god, that was always so hot.”
“Or that time we screwed in that bathroom at your studio?” His smile was incredibly mischievous.
“Or the times you sit me up on the counter in your kitchen and fuck me?”
“Or the time you bent me over my own desk her here?”
“I think it’s time we make some new memories.” She says, getting off of him, and extending her hand out to him for him to follow.
“Couldn’t agree with you more.”
Blair leads them inside Harry’s walk in closet where he kept his box of toys. It was still in the same spot as always. She pops the lid off and they both smile at each other.
“How long do you think I could edge you for?” She asks him.
“Um, I should be okay to go for a while since I already came.”
“Excellent.” She picks up a cock ring, the kind that vibrates. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”
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jackrrabbit · 4 years
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Unprofessional [pt. 2] /// Yandere Tendou x f!Reader (18+)
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Request: Bro can I request a super smutty yandere tendou x reader please there’s literally no content for him and I’m just a honry simp for him 😔 (also your writing is FANFUCKINGTASTIC I have read and reread all of your docs dude at least twice in conclusion you’re my favorite writing blog now)
A/N: Thank you omg I’m so honored, seriously I’m blushing?? Also I love Tendou too so ty for the request. Finished the second (and final) part one day late for his birthday  🎂🥳🎁🎊🎉
Summary: The new hire you’re supposed to be training at your office job is a little too attached for his own good…or yours. [Part 1]
Tags/warnings: yandere, timeskip (Tendou is 23), noncon, mildly inebriated sex, restraints/bondage, threats, Tendou is incapable of shutting up, liberal use of “senpai”
You look so cute like this, wrapped up like a pretty birthday present just for him. Tendou likes you so much it hurts.
Your breaths are intentionally steady, like you’re counting out the proper number of seconds on each inhale and exhale in an effort to appear calm. Your chest heaves lightly, and he’s got an almost-perfect view of it with your blouse unbuttoned and your bra pushed up over your tits. He’d prefer to have you completely topless, but with your hands tied behind your back with his belt, his options are limited.
Tendou’s already shimmied your sensible pencil skirt down over your thighs to expose your legs. You looked so sexy in just your open shirt and pantyhose, but he had to take the hose off for access. Besides, removing the sheer black fabric (slowly, so that it wouldn’t rip—he knows those things aren’t cheap) gave him the opportunity to feel up your legs. Panties came next, and now you’re on your back glaring up at him with your legs crossed and folded to hide your naked pussy.
It’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Of course he took a few pictures.
The only issue is the gag. Tendou has his tie wound over your mouth to keep you quiet. It won’t do—he wants to see your face, after all—but he’s already got a fix, in the form of a little square of plastic he takes from his pocket.
He holds it up close enough that you can see it. “Do you know what this is?”
You don’t nod or anything, but you definitely recognize it—a condom.
“We’re going to have sex, senpai.” Tendou picks up on the little catch in your breath when he says the word ‘sex’, but he doesn’t think about it. “I don’t really care if I wear a condom, but I think you probably do. Is that right?”
You don’t respond.
“Senpaiii…don’t be stubborn. Nod yes for a condom, or else I’m not gonna wear one.”
You glare like you want to kill him, but you nod. Haha, how cute.
“Okay, good. I like when you do what I tell you. Now, I want to take the gag off, but I won’t do it if you’re going to be loud, you understand? It’s rude to bother your neighbors late at night. And…” He pauses. “Just to make sure you play nice, if you don’t listen to me I’ll take the condom off and cum inside. You don’t want that, do you?”
You shake your head frantically.
“Thought so.” Tendou’s pale, nimble fingers splay out over your inner thigh. “Then can you promise you’ll be nice?”
It takes you a long minute during which Tendou entertains himself petting the sweat-damp skin of your thigh, but you finally nod.
“Great!” Tendou grins and reaches down to untie the gag.
You take a minute to open and close your mouth, probably trying to stretch out the stiff muscles before you speak. Your voice is impassive and cool like you’ve been practicing what you’re going to say. “Tendou, you need to untie me. You’re very drunk and not in your right mind. Don’t do something you’re going to regret.”
Instead of listening to you, Tendou chooses to strip. Your composed mask slips for a second when he takes off his boxers to reveal his stiff, throbbing hard cock, already aching red and drizzling strands of precum onto his hand when he strokes it up and down. “Don’t worry baby, I sober up quick. I might be a lil tipsy but I’m not gonna have any trouble performing. Not for you.”
He crouches down to center you in between his arms, holding his head directly above yours. “And besides—“ you try to pull back away from his hot breath but your limited range of movement prevents you from getting anywhere— “I’m not going to regret this.”
Your lips are soft under his and you still taste fresh and sweet and minty from the toothpaste. You’re unresisting when his tongue prods into your mouth, but that’s not enough. “Kiss me back,” he murmurs, and you do. Maybe it’s just mindless—he’s sure you’ve kissed other people, as much as he’d like to pretend otherwise—but the movements of your lips and teeth and tongue against his feel almost eager.
“Ha…my first kiss with senpai,” Tendou says, pulling back and licking over his swollen lips. It would be nice to take his time with everything, but there’ll be more chances for that later. He loves the way your eyes trace him as he sticks his own fingers in his mouth to cover them with saliva.
“What are you doing?” you ask, but your question is answered when Tendou easily pulls your legs apart and settles himself between them so he can have easy access to slide his spit-soaked fingers up the length of your slit. “Tendou—Tendou, wait—“
He shushes you and continues to drag his middle finger all the way up from your entrance to your clit, letting the rough texture of his skin combine with your slick lubricant and give you just enough stimulation to make your hips twitch. “Mm, you like that? Gotta get you ready baby…not to brag, but I’m a little bigger than most guys. Wouldn’t want to—oh, easy, easy, relax—wouldn’t want to hurt you.“
You wince and then try to hold it back, school your expression so he won’t see the discomfort on your face when a single finger pushes into you. It’s not that painful, but the physical feeling isn’t nearly as bad as the fact that you don’t want any of this.
“How is that?” Tendou asks, slowly rocking his index finger in and out of your pussy, barely curling the tip to seek out your g-spot. You suppress the minuscule jerk of your core as best you can, but you can’t quite make it invisible and he feels it. “That good, huh?”
You want so badly to be angry. You are angry. If you could speak your mind right now, you’d tell him to go to hell. Yes, it feels good (and even admitting that to yourself makes you want to curl up and die), but it’s just hormones, stimulation, reaction. You can’t help it. But you’re not going to say that to him, not if you have the least chance of convincing him to stop before he goes any further. “It’s…fine. But, Tendou—“
“Knew you would like it. Oh—“ Another finger forces into your cunt. “—you’re tight, senpai. It’s been a while, yeah? You don’t have a boyfriend, I’d know if you did…and you’re not the type to do this casually. Too focused on your career.”
“I…mm…” What is he saying? Typical Tendou running his mouth even while you’re focused on him fucking you with those long fingers, prodding away at that spot—that fucking spot that is somehow, somehow—
—making you wet.
It’s not like some kind of precision activity. Tendou isn’t building you up or being subtle about it. There’s no teasing, no gentle touches, he’s just stroking that same spot over and over and the flat of his hand is mashing against your clit carelessly and it’s so stupid and so messy and there’s nothing kind or loving about it so why is it working?
“Feel that? Feel how wet you are?” Tendou has that same self-satisfied grin as he works his fingers in and out. “Poor senpai… You needed this, but you can’t ask for it yourself, I understand.”
“I don’t need anything…” you say, but you can’t expect him to believe you when your juices are slipping in and out of your hole along with his fingers, lubing him up to move even faster than before. When he started, you were so tense and tight that he could barely twist his fingertips up to pad at your g-spot, but now? Your walls are hot and sticky and supple, sucking him back in every time he pulls out.
He wants to make you cum, he does. And if he keeps going, it’s not going to be long, is it? But it’s your first time together… Tendou feels his cheeks getting hotter. First time with senpai, first time seeing you and touching you and having you totally, completely belong to him. The first time he makes you cum, it should be together.
If he’s not mistaken, you look almost disappointed when his fingers work their way out of your pussy, drawing away from you and wiping clean on the inside of your thigh. “You—You’re not…?” you question, trailing off when apparently you can’t bring yourself to ask for it.
“Don’t worry baby, plenty of time for that when I’m inside you.” Tendou walks his way up on the bed to leave a kiss on your forehead, so quick that you can’t cringe away when he does it.
You look off to the side, determined not to give him the satisfaction of eye contact—not to mention you hate looking at him, you hate seeing his stupid creepy face leering at you like you’re…you’re lovers or something. Like he’s not forcing you. But your attempt to maintain even that measly degree of avoidance shatters when you hear plastic crinkling. Ripping.
He’s opening the condom.
“Tendou—Tendou, wait! Listen!” You swallow and try to pull yourself back into your workplace persona, the mentor he respected and learned from, even if it was just an act. “Listen to me, please. You’re making a mistake. If we—if we stop now, we can forget about it...we can go back to normal, I promise. Do you hear me? I promise.”
“Normal isn’t enough anymore. Y’know what normal is for me? I’ve loved you for fifteen years. Wanted this for so long.” Tendou rolls the condom on and then hikes your ass upward so his cock is lined up with your slit. “Senpai, don’t you think you’ve had your way for long enough? It’s time…it’s time for me to get what I want.”
For the first time since he caught you and pinned you down on the floor of your living room, you struggle, really struggle for all you’re worth. The stiff leather of Tendou’s belt bites into your wrists and forearms as you try and get out of it, but the restraints hold firm—in fact, it feels like they’re getting tighter the more you move. Your hands are going numb from lack of blood flow, the prickles of pins and needles stinging into your skin, but you ignore it. You’re too worried about being heard to scream (and how twisted is it that you’re more scared of your neighbors than him?) but you jerk your leg up in an attempt to kick him away.
Tendou catches your foot before it can hit him. Easily. It’s like he sees everything you’re doing before you do it. “Hey, hey, stop that. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Let me go, Tendou!” you hiss as loudly as you dare.
“Senpai…” His grip on your lower thigh tightens, a warning. “What did I say about being nice?”
You go limp. You don’t want to have sex with him, but you cannot—absolutely cannot—have him do it unprotected.
Tendou sighs as you relax in his grasp. “Good choice… Always so rational. But I want you to say it out loud, okay? Tell me you know what’s going to happen if you misbehave.”
Once again, you find yourself avoiding his gaze. How dare he say he loves you and then treat you like this. “…You’re going to take off the condom.”
“Yeah…” Once again, you feel the thick, stiff cock nudging against your inner thigh. He slides it up between your lips to slick it up. “And what am I going to do when I take it off?”
“You’ll…put it in raw. And…”
“And?”
“…c-cum inside.”
“And you don’t want me to do that. So behave, senpai.”
Tendou pushes into you in one deep stroke and you gasp. ‘A little bigger than most guys,’ he’d said. A little bigger? He’s a liar, again—he’s so big that you can already feel the thick head flush against your cervix, pressing there like he wants to go deeper. “T-Too deep, it’s too deep—“
“Shh, you just gotta get used to it…” Tendou leans down, folding your legs up into your chest so he can trap you between him and the mattress and speckle light kisses over your face. “You have to relax. I’ll be slow.”
The position is uncomfortable. He’s got your spine curled up off the bed and your thighs are burning from the stretch, but his skin bumps against your clit every time he makes the slightest movement. Once you’re steady, he pulls back a fraction and then thrusts back into you, barely moving, just enough that you can feel the pressure of his cockhead receding and then hitting back against your cervix. It’s slow, but it’s not slow enough—nothing is slow enough with how big he is.
Tendou kisses you again, pulling your head back to center so he can shove his tongue into your mouth just like he’s shoving his cock into your pussy. He’s not content to keep up the languid pace for long, though—as soon as you’re the tiniest bit relaxed, as soon as the barest muffled whimpers are forced out of your mouth, he’s lengthening his thrusts and slapping the entire length of his heavy cock back in and out of you.
You almost wish he would stop dragging it out. You don’t want to feel this, any of this, not him groaning into your mouth, not the weight of his body holding you down and spreading your thighs apart, and definitely not the dizzying friction of the head of his cock on your g-spot. You wouldn’t even be feeling it like this if he hadn’t prepared you and left you wanting.
You close your eyes and try to pretend that it’s someone else doing it to you, but it’s impossible. Tendou was right earlier, it’s been too long—there’s no one else in recent memory who you can picture in his place. Besides, it’s not like you’ve ever been fucked like this. Everything you can sense is screaming out that it’s him, him, him, from his whiny voice moaning out love confessions you don’t want to hear to the spicy-sweet cologne, the same one he wears around the office, now mixed with his sweat and so saturated you think you could choke on it.
You’re trying to imagine someone else’s cock driving your pussy open, anyone else—a boy you had a crush on in high school, the guy you’d lost your virginity to in college, even an actor you like—but it doesn’t work, because no matter who you try to pretend is fucking you you know it’s Tendou.
“Hey—senpai, look at me…” He’s patting your cheek, trying to get you to meet his gaze. “Open your eyes…look what I’m doing to you.”
“Don’t…don’t make me…” You shudder as he pushes all the way back in, bottoming out so he can grind his hips cruelly against your mound and provide untidy stimulation to your clit.
“Look.” Tendou’s voice is hard. He isn’t asking anymore.
With the threat from earlier hanging over your head, you don’t have a choice, do you? You open your eyes and look at him.
Tendou Satori. Even in the middle of drilling you, he’s beaming like you’re making him happy. There are twin pink patches high on his cheekbones under his eyes. He’s sweating—makes sense, he’s doing all the work. His lips are red and swollen from kissing you.
Tendou Satori, who brings you coffee at work even when you didn’t ask for it. Who misspells the same word 3 different ways every time he writes up a sales contract. Who said during his first interview that his greatest weakness is that he has a habit of going with his gut, and that his greatest strength is that his gut is usually right.
How is this the same person? No…no, that’s not what’s making you upset. It’s not that the Tendou fucking you is somehow so different from the one you thought you knew. It’s that he’s the same, the same man who never really listens when you say no, who never stops touching you when you say it bothers you. This is just the next thing. It makes sense.
“Senpai?” Tendou’s hips slow and he leaves his cock sitting thick and hard in your battered pussy. “Senpai? Are you…you’re crying?”
He’s blurry and your eyes sting and you want to wipe at them, but, well, your hands are tied. Literally. Tendou holds himself over you with one arm so the other can thumb over your wet eyes. “Don’t touch me,” you blubber out, knowing it won’t have any effect.
“Shh, shh, stop crying,” he says, sounding panicked. “Please stop crying. Please stop.”
Your silent weeping is interrupted by a whimper as he pulls out of you. You feel…something, maybe relief or maybe disappointment, but mostly you’re just overwhelmed. You’re slack as a puppet while he flips you over and carefully unbuckles the belt from your arms. The pins and needles return in full force once you’re unbound, discomforting to the point of pain as Tendou massages over the tender flesh with his own hands.
“Sorry…Looks like it was a little too tight.”
Once Tendou’s released you, you hold up an arm to examine yourself. There are red marks where the edges of the belt dug into your skin. Your hands are still prickly, still desensitized as you clumsily rub your eyes, but you just can’t seem to stop crying.
“Shh,” Tendou says over your shoulder from where he’s sitting behind you, and you’re so sick of hearing him shush you but you can’t bring yourself to respond. “I love you, senpai… Please don’t cry.”
The way he says it—so hurt, so caring, so desperate, makes your heart ache. You’d almost believe him…if he weren’t pushing you back down onto the bed, face first this time. You don’t have the energy to resist as he pulls your ass up to his hips. At least now you can bite down on the sheet to shut yourself up as he fills your aching cunt again.
This time, though, now that he’s fucking you like a dog, he’s got the space to reach down around your hips and stroke your clit. The shock of the contact is enough to scare the tears out of your eyes and you cry out.
Tendou takes your response as permission to do more, rubbing over your button with no regard for how delicate and sensitive you’re feeling. “Yeah, yeah, you like that… Senpai likes it when I touch her needy little pussy? Come on, let me hear you.”
“Tendou—mmph, Tendou, st—ahh…?” But you can’t really tell him to stop. You don’t want him to stop. If you’re going to have to get fucked like this, shouldn’t you at least get to get off? It’s only fair.
Fair. The thought crosses your mind and you almost laugh—maybe you would if the force of Tendou’s body weight wasn’t smothering your face into the pillows. Nothing about this is fair.
“Do you like it?” You can hear how excited he is. “Tell me—tell me you like it, senpai? Please. Please?”
With trembling arms, you raise your upper body off the bed just enough so that you can turn your head to the side and speak. “Keep touching me. Like that.”
He does, padding over your clit senselessly while his cock does its brutal work on your insides. You feel…fucking amazing, and Tendou’s so happy, so grateful to have your beautiful pure dirty body holding onto him, sucking him into your cunt and holding yourself around him like you’ll fall apart if he’s not inside you filling you up. Your pussy is incredibly responsive, clenching down in him in time with his fingers moving on your clit. God, he could cum right now…but you have to cum first, he has to make you cum, it has to be together.
He’s so glad you’re not crying anymore. You like it, he knows you do. He’s had you getting closer and closer for a while now, and all the ups and downs and stopping you before you can cum are definitely making you need it even more.
You’re getting louder. You probably don’t even realize it, but you are. Tendou wishes he had something recording.
“I’m—fuck, I’m…c-cu…” Telling him is reflexive, a gesture of courtesy you’re used to from previous partners. He doesn’t deserve it, but you give it to him anyway.
“Gonna cum, baby?” Tendou coos. His touches grow even rougher somehow, abusing your clit while he nudges himself out so he can slide his cock back and forth over your g-spot. The aggressive rhythm of the stimulation has your spine arching up and he pushes you back down to keep you in place. “Stay down…let me do it for you.”
“Tendou!” you cry out, and he feels it, feels you cum, feels your whole body wracked with tremors, feels the walls of your cunt squeeze his cock like you’re trying to hold him inside. Fuck. Fuck. It’s too good, your pussy is so tight and warm and drenched in your juices, he can’t think, he wants it, wants to cum, wants to cum with you, together, together, together.
Tendou’s hand leaves your clit just in time to grip your ass and slam himself back into you, holding you impaled on his cock while both of you shudder through your post-orgasm aftershocks. “Senpai…senpai. I love you,” he gasps, and cums, hips jerking against yours as his mind goes blank for a second.
Fuck, it feels good, feels like his eyes are rolling back in his head.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
“Tendou…” It’s all you can say. You can feel him getting softer inside you, and he pulls out to take off the condom. Once he’s gotten rid of it, you let him flip you onto your side and lie next to you on the bed.
“How was that, senpai?” Tendou asks, kissing you slowly. He cuddles up to you, pulling your back into his chest so your bodies are fitted together like puzzle pieces. His heart is pounding like a rabbit’s—you’d think it was cute if not for…everything.
You’re quiet.
“I know you liked it.” Another kiss, this time on the back of your neck. “You needed it just as much as I did. And I know you won’t want to admit it at first, right? You’ve got your professional reputation to maintain, I get it. But don’t worry—“
You wish he would shut up. You wish he would leave you alone. You wish he wasn’t holding you so close that you can feel his cock against your ass, and you wish—you wish you couldn’t feel him getting hard, again.
“—this was just our first time. And there’s gonna be lots more. You and me? We’re going to be together forever, senpai.”
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marsbutterfly · 3 years
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Skyfall
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Summary: When you are hired to kill the most dangerous mafia boss, things get a little complicated.
Wattpad Version! | AO3 Version!
|◁ II ▷|
“This is the end
Hold your breath and count to ten
Feel the Earth move and then
Hear my heart burst again”
7:34pm
The clock on your wrist tics quietly but in the silent room, it nearly sounds like bombs being dropped from above. Not a word is exchanged between you and the man sitting across the room but you know exactly what he wants.
In his hand rests a dark colored suitcase, you can barely tell until the light hits his belt ever so gently but you finally see the gun he’s been carrying.
You take a deep breath, getting up for your seat. The sound of your heels clicking on the floor fills the atmosphere as you walk towards him, the smirk on his lips is undeniable and you don’t understand what he has to be smiling about.
He stands up a second after you and walks in your direction, bumping against you and dropping his suitcase and the papers in his hand. In response, you throw on the floor the suitcase you once held. 
The man apologizes profoundly as you help him collect the papers on the floor. You say over and over that it is ok, while all the curious eyes in the room land on you. As you stand up, you hand him the suitcase you once had in your hand and he nods, thanking you for the help and apologizing one last time.
You begin to make your way back to your car, the smirk on his lips still engraved in your brain as a chill travels down your spine. “Why was he smiling?” You ask yourself not wanting to admit it but you are a bit scared of knowing the answer.
Though once you open the suitcase, you understand why. Inside, rests the pictures and information of your next target, the millionaire leader of an enemy gang. Though you don’t enjoy taking sides, you’ve been paid a large amount of money to take her out, more than you have ever made.
The war between these two gangs has been going on for the longest time and you have killed enough people on both sides to earn a fair amount of enemies, but this time you couldn’t help but feel a sinking hole opening in your heart.
Hanji Zoe has always been the deadliest member of the underground group. Her kill count is even higher than yours, at least 500+ heads under her belt. They say her torture methods surpass even the ones they use in hell.
She’s known as the Devil herself.
“For this is the end
I've drowned and dreamt this moment
So overdue, I owe them
Swept away, I'm stolen”
8:15pm
Your keys unlock the heavy doors of your house and somehow the marble floors feel colder than ever. Your shoes rest in their designated spot by the coat holder and you throw the suitcase on the couch.
Two cups rest on the counter near the bar area inside your home. One of them contains what you assume is whisky, due to the color and the amount of ice in the cup, it has always been her favorite after a work day.
The lipstick marks are fresh meaning she has just now gotten home. Upon paying closer attention, you realize the shower is on and steam is coming out of the bathroom. You think about joining her but ultimately decide to have a drink first, trying to forget about your next target.
Gently, you take two rocks of ice and place them in the clean cup specifically placed out for you. Pouring yourself a single shot of whisky, you walk towards the balcony feeling as the cold air of the night hits your face.
You knew this day would come but you hoped it would take longer. 
Deep in your own thoughts, you don’t realize the water has been turned off in the bathroom and wet footsteps approach your body.
It’s not until her wet arms wrap around your black dress that you realize you are no longer alone. Her face is buried in your back and you can see steam leaving her arms as the hair on her skin stands up.
The tattoo of your initials on her hand still brings butterflies to your stomach. The memory of the night she got it is still one of your favorite moments you spent together, especially since it was after your first date and she told you she knew you were the one.
“I missed you.” She says, placing a kiss on your skin. You can feel as her breasts are pressed against you and a gasp leaves your body.
“I missed you too.” You reply, a disobedient tear rolling down your face as you chug the contents of the cup in your hand.
“What’s wrong?” She asks, placing her hand on your waist as she turns your body around so you can face her. She is a few inches taller, nothing too extreme but enough to make you look up at her gently.
Her thumb brushes the tear on your cheek before rubbing it above your lips. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to tell her the news you just received.
“You are my next target.” You say and Hanji nods, a sad smirk on her lips.
“Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together” 
9:00pm
The brush goes through her hair with ease for the first time, as if she took care of the tangles in the shower already knowing what the news you were bringing would be. After shower moments were the ones where Hanji was the most vulnerable.
She would simply close her eyes and appreciate the attention she’s been given as she fades in the echo of your voice. You hum a melody quietly, Hanji’s favorite song in the hopes to bring her any comfort at all.
Your tears drip down your nose onto her scalp as you put her hair in a ponytail, attempting to help her get ready for the party she will be attending in an hour. At the highest floor of the second tallest building in the entire city.
“How are you going to do it?” She asks, lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke up in the air while trying to make rings out of it. You giggle, touching her shoulders before sliding your hands down her arms.
You notice the goosebumps rising on her skin and can’t help but smile at how she reacts to your touch. “Must we talk about it?”
“I need to know.” She replies and you nod, sighing heavily while finally agreeing to talk about the elephant in the room.
“I’ll be on the roof of the Paradise building. I am pretty sure they will send someone to watch me do it.” You begin, spraying the bottle of perfume around her and noticing as the drops of liquid fall on her tan skin, masking the smell of the cigarette.
“But they might not.” She says and you shrug your shoulders.
“They might not.” You say quietly.
“I wouldn’t expect any less from this city’s top 1 assassin.” She says, taking your hand in hers and planting a soft kiss on your palm, leaving behind the red mark of her deep colored lipstick.
She stands up, allowing the robe to fall to the floor and reveal her naked body. You can’t look away from the perfect shape of her breasts, the line that goes through her abdomen from a previous surgery and all of her battle scars.
“Make me yours one last time.” You say, pulling your shirt above her head as you expose yourself to her and she nods, a devious smile curling up on her lips.
You see a few old bullet wounds, some healed while others are still healing. Every single one of them tells a story about who she is and how she has lived her life but your favorite story has always been the one of how she lost her eye.
It was three years ago, the day you met. How could you ever forget?
“Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together
At Skyfall”
Since you were a teenager, you’ve been good at killing. First your shitty parents and every family member who sided with them, including your own brother and sister. Finally being able to control your life, you decided to make a living out of it.
This career put you through college where you earned a chemistry degree, learning how to mix your personal kinds of poison, some of which no one has ever even heard of which makes it hard for the police to find who was responsible for it.
At first, you would go for basic targets: rapists, animal abusers, anyone who dared hurt another soul but word got out of how excellent and quick you were at your job and your number of clients tripled and your name was in everyone’s mouth.
One day, you got a call from a blocked russian number. A smile creeped on your lips as you heard a familiar voice over the phone, Erwin Smith. The man who gave you a chance to grow in this life and made you who you are today, your mentor.
“Y/N, I’m dying.” He says, his voice is faint and you notice his life force is fading away. 
“I can tell.” You reply trying to lighten the mood and he laughs.
“Will you still work for the next boss?” He asks, coughing out a liquid which you could only assume was blood. 
“If that is your dying wish.” You respond and he hums in agreement over the phone, “Then yes.”
Later that week, two men showed up to your house to escort you to Erwin’s funeral. The rain poured over his coffin, hiding away the tears of those who loved him.
Surrounded by at least five men sat a woman in a black coat, her eyes looking in your direction as she took the cigarette to her lips. The tattoos on her leg on display for anyone to see, you could’ve sworn she was silently flirting with you.
And in a moment of weakness, a car drove by shooting up the place completely. Of course they were received with a buffet of bullets as well, but nearly a third of the people around the casket were now dead.
As a bullet makes its way towards you, the brunette with danger in her eyes rushes forward to protect you only to receive the bullet with a glass platter. Needless to say, an uncountable amount of shards found their way into her eyeball.
While she bled in your arms, you tried to make sure she remained awake.
“What’s your name?” You ask and she smiles, bringing your hand towards her lips and licking your thumb with a palpable sexual energy.
“Hanji. Hanji Zoe.” She replied, “The new boss.”
“Skyfall is where we start
A thousand miles and poles apart
Where worlds collide and days are dark
You may have my number, you can take my name
But you'll never have my heart”
10:05pm
Once you are finished redoing Hanji’s hair, she stares at the closet before finally picking out a blood colored suit. No shirt underneath, she places the blazer right above her nipples, only enough to cover them while allowing the rest of her breasts to be exposed.
You on the other hand plan to dress yourself in a completely black outfit hoping to blend into the darkness of the night. Luck was on your side for there were no stars to brighten the sky, allowing you to take complete cover.
As far as you know, nobody is aware of your relationship with Hanji, not even her subordinates. Keeping business away from your private life has always been a priority, even before you committed your first paid killing.
She places a final kiss on your hands and one of your lips, though it does not feel like a goodbye and you sadly accept any kind of comfort you can find.
When her car is out of view, you decide to go up and take a shower by yourself. You wanted to decline this job, to throw everything away: your reputation, the money and simply run away with Hanji to a place where you could live your lives.
But you can’t. Before even knowing who your targets are, you are always made to sign a consent form and if broken, it would cost you your life.
The warm water hits your face and you can still smell Hanji’s strawberry shampoo in the air mixed with the fading smoke of her cigarettes. You begin to remember every shower you spent together, every kiss you shared at the most exquisite places around the world.
Hanji always knew how to make you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Eventually, you can no longer if the water streaming down your face comes from the shower or your tears.
As you finish your shower, you begin to get ready. The black outfit had never been colder and the unsettling feeling at the pit of your stomach still remains. While putting a mask above your face, you look at your rifle.
It has your initials and Hanji’s secretly carved on the side and on the other it has the date you started dating. A good luck charm, as she liked to call it.
Tonight will be a fucking awful night.
“Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)
When it crumbles (when it crumbles)
We will stand tall (we will stand tall)
Face it all together
At Skyfall”
1:53am
Hours have passed since you've been sitting at the top of this building by yourself, looking through the binoculars at the party happening not too far away.  In the end, they decided not to send anyone to watch over your shoulder as you do your job.
The richest and most powerful people in town were all attending and, even though they wore masks, you could still tell exactly who they were. The years of analyzing and recognizing targets from afar has given you the extraordinary ability to identify covered faces.
By the bar, you see her as she rests her arm on the glass top. She looks beautiful. Her whiskey brown eyes match the liquid in her cup as the black mask covers her features. For a second, you could’ve sworn she looked directly at you.
The instructions were clear: at 2am, a single bullet should be shot directly to her head, killing her instantly. So you position your gun, looking through the lense as Hanji disappears in the crowd for a bit before returning to her usual spot.
You sigh, stopping the tears that attempt to cloud your vision. Your finger slowly moves towards the trigger, as if time itself is desperately trying to stop you from killing your loved one, but it doesn’t matter. No one could stop you now.
Counting the seconds, you make sure the shot to her head is clear and you pray she won’t suffer at all. “Goodbye, my love.”
Time nearly stops once you pull the trigger. You watch closely as the bullet goes through her brain and blood splatters across the clear counter causing every person in the room to desperately run for their lives, not knowing they are all safe.
Only one man stands in the room and he raises his glass at you for he is the only one who knows no more shots will be fired. The asshole who hired you to kill the love of your life. Fucking Zeke Yeager.
With every ounce of your body, you decide that killing him isn’t worth it. He deserves to live to suffer in the future.
You bring your body back up, beginning to disassemble your rifle. It takes you less than a minute to be on your way and you can hear as police sirens approach the building in front of you.
“Where you go, I go
What you see, I see
I know I'd never be me
Without the security
Of your loving arms
Keeping me from harm
Put your hand in my hand
And we'll stand”
Finally getting back to your house, you throw the bag containing the gun on the couch before plopping your body right beside it, a long sigh escaping your lips.
Your eyes then notice the packed bags, all ready to leave as soon as possible. The clicking of heels comes from the other side of the house and you smirk, rushing your thumb through your lips.
“I feel bad for the lady you hired to die in your place.” You say, turning around and propping your chin on the back of the couch.
“Would you prefer if I had died in her place?” Hanji asks, rushing her hand through her freshly shaved head in an attempt to get rid of any hairs that still remain attached to her.
“Of course not, love.” You reply, walking towards her before taking the glass of wine from her free hand.
“Hanji Zoe is dead and the witness to it is Zeke Yeager himself.” She says, a devious smile on her lips.
You can’t help but link your mouth with hers, tasting the delightful mixture of alcohols she has had tonight. Her hands travel through your body, exploring every inch of your skin before gently brushing against your inner thigh.
You gasp gently, nearly melting in response to her actions. God knows you want to melt but you don’t have time.
“It’s 4:25am, the plane leaves in 35 minutes so we should go.” She says and you nod.
You grab one of the packed bags plus your rifle and she grabs the rest before extending her hand to you, hoping to walk away from this life with you by her side but not before staging your own kidnapping and death, everything so no one would ever look for either of you.
Once done with arrangements, she smiles. 
“So where are we going to make our new home?” You ask.
“My home is wherever you are.” She replies and you feel your cheeks getting warm before she continues, “But I was planning the Carribeans.” 
“Fuck yes.” Is all you say and she laughs, squeezing your hand as you both say goodbye to the apartment you’ve shared for years. Leaving behind a life of danger to live together in the house of your dreams, far away from all the negativity.
Just you and Hanji. And maybe a few cats and dogs along the way.
“Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)
When it crumbles (when it crumbles)
We will stand tall (we will stand tall)
Face it all together
At Skyfall”
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cycat4077 · 3 years
Text
Real Talk
Words: 1639 Warnings: angst Pairing: Sonny x Reader AO3 here
This idea popped into my head after that phone call Sonny received which seemed to be a date. So, ignore the fact that we know that the person on the other end was Nicole. 🙃
Part 2
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---
You had met Sonny at Fordham while taking your law degree. A few classes together and the two of you, with a couple other people, hit it off. Yes, you were part of that group Sonny mentioned to Amaro. The group that he went bowling with. In fact, you were even one of the “pretty girls”. However, that’s where it stayed. You and Sonny often bounced ideas off one another and studied for exams.
Any girl would be a fool to say that they didn’t have a crush on Carisi at least at some point, and you were no different. But the thing was, your friendship meant so much more. It was uncomplicated. Just two people who supported one another; borrowed ears to let off steam from time to time.
When graduation rolled around though, you and Sonny saw less and less of one another. His detective gig left him such little free time to begin with that without classes, it was virtually impossible to find the time to get together. And, as so often happens, the texts and calls grew fewer and far between until six whole years had come and gone.
That all changed however, when you walked into the Manhattan DA’s office to cross reference about a case that you were working in Brooklyn. You could recognize that lanky, well-dressed man anywhere. He was speaking to a colleague, using his hands like he always did to get his point across. Your heart rose to your throat.
“Sonny?” you speak up, but you already know the answer. He swivels on his heels to face you, his features easing and eyes lighting up upon recognition.
He crosses the room in just a few long strides, a huge smile plastered on his face. He speaks your name and scoops you into a hug. It catches you by surprise at first, but the warmth of his arms around you – back around you after so many years, makes you genuinely happy. “How are ya?” he exclaims. “It’s been too long.”
You make small talk for a little while, catching up on what you’d missed. Sonny was an ADA now, finally biting the bullet and moving on from SVU. You tell him that you’re working in Brooklyn, not on criminal cases, that was always more Sonny’s speed, but still enjoying the career that your time at Fordham had awarded you. It was decided that you and Sonny needed to make grabbing coffees and lunches a regular occurrence, and so the two of you reserved a space in your calendar for the first one of many.
It was nice to rekindle that friendship. For all the time you knew one another at school, you had always had one another’s backs. There were never any judgements and the two of you could talk about anything and everything. Sonny would always make sure you were doing okay, seemingly knowing just when you needed him to talk to. This dynamic worked both ways too. It used to be that Sonny would phone you up, sometimes in the middle of the night, because he had come off a particularly hard case. You always picked up and it was that mutual friendship and care that got you both through many tough times.
Unfortunately, in those six years, that type of relationship was something you hadn’t found since. Seeing Sonny again made you realize just how much you had missed him. Not to mention that he had gotten more handsome and impossibly sweeter. You hated to admit that there was a flutter in your stomach every time he would smile and a heat that rose to your cheeks when he’d give you a quick peck as a friendly hello.
Little did you know that Sonny was starting to feel that way too and, after a few months of coffee and lunch meet-ups, he invited you to have dinner with him. You suggested a place, one of the few restaurants which were open for dine-in and one that you loved.
Was it a date? You weren’t exactly sure, but you worked up the courage to make tonight the time to tell him how you felt. You put forth extra effort in your appearance, styling your hair and slipping into a nice dress. Stepping in front of the mirror, you take a deep breath and tell yourself that it’s now or never.
Then your phone rings. It’s Sonny. You pick up and greet him, smiling.
“Hey,” he says. “I just finished my paperwork n’ am ready ta leave.”
“Great!” you say eagerly. “I’ll call to confirm our reservation -”
“Ah, that sounds great,” Sonny sounds in your ear.
“- and I’ll make my way over there.”
 “Ah, that sounds great,” he says again. His voice sounds genuinely excited. “Listen, I’ll meet you there in an hour.”
“Sounds good, Sonny.” You take a breath, softening your voice. “I’m really looking forward to tonight.”
“Yeah, me too.” You can hear the smile in his voice.
“See you soon. Bye.”
“Alright, bye.”
A fluster of nervousness and excitement churn in your gut as you grab your coat and purse and head for the door.
---
Arriving at the restaurant, you’re taken to a table out of the way in one of the back corners. All the better to have a conversation, you think to yourself.
Just as you’ve gotten comfortable, your phone rings again. Sonny Carisi flashes on the screen. Your heart rises to your throat, unsure why he would be calling. “What’s up?” you answer.
“I’m gonna be late,” he begins apologetically. “Rollins had a family emergency and I was helping her take care of a few things.”
“Oh, okay,” you stammer out, slightly confused. “Be careful.”
“Yeah, I will. See you in a bit.” The line clicks off.
Amanda Rollins. A major figure in Sonny’s work life. His partner as a detective and still a member of the squad he tries cases for. Many the times you had heard about Rollins: how hard she had things, her problematic family, her daughter Jesse. And each mention of her would be rooted in Sonny’s desire to help her out somehow. Cook her dinner or help her with her baby. He’d tell you how great of a detective she was and how she, too, had his back.
However, Sonny could be gullible. He made decisions with his heart rather than his head and sometimes that let people take advantage of his kindness. So, you were often cautious on his behalf when he’d tell you about the things he did for Amanda. Sometimes it seemed that she, whether intentional or not, would accept Sonny’s kindness without giving him much in return. And by the way he used to talk about her, you suspected he had developed some sort of feelings for her. But through these conversations, he also invertedly revealed how she kept him at arms length. Now, from Sonny’s phone call, you suppose that things had never changed.
You sit there for what feels like an eternity, the waiter returning to check in on you a few times, until finally you see him round the restaurant corner towards your booth.
“I’m so sorry,” he begins, taking a seat. “Rollins – her dad had a stroke n' she needed ta fly out immediately. I arranged for her mom to watch her kids n' informed Liv what was goin' on. I feel so bad. I mean, she’s been through so much n' she really has no one…” He looks up at you then, noticing your attire. His eyebrows lift as he drinks in how pretty you look. But your face tells a different story.
You feel so disappointed. Not in Sonny, but rather, in yourself. You thought that the history you shared would bring you closer together. A solid and mutually supportive friendship was something you longed for in a significant other. Something for love to build off of and grow. Now though, seeing how Sonny was still holding out hope for Amanda, still giving her every ounce of himself with little in return, you couldn’t take it.
You catch Sonny’s gaze. “It was silly of me to think that this was a date.” Your voice is quiet, sadness brimming your words.
He stares back at you confused. His brow knits, “No!” he begins, the realization hitting him. “It was – is a date!” He reaches for your hand, placing his overtop. “I asked you here because it felt so good to reconnect with you. I missed you. We get along so easily and it’s nice to have someone to talk to again. I always thought you were attractive too, both physically and intellectually. When we were at Fordham we were always just friends but seeing you again and having you back in my life, well, it made me feel something.”
Sonny looks positively hurt, yet he understands how all this must seem to you. “I missed you too, Sonny. So much,” you reply, voice a little unsteady. “And I care about you more than you could ever imagine.” You give his hand a small squeeze and he closes his eyes for a moment, knowingly. “Except, I can’t be a placeholder while you wait for Amanda to come around. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to you either, but that decision has to come from you.”
There it is. All feelings laid bare. There’s nothing more you can say. You have and always will support Sonny and you always will be his friend. However, those lines between friendship and something more were starting to blur and before you give your heart away, you need to know if Sonny truly wishes to accept it.
Sonny studies your face, his mind racing. Then he looks down, squeezing his eyes shut. “I know,” he says running a thumb along your knuckles. "I know."
---
Tag list? @barbasbodaciousbeard @adarafaelbarba @teamsladsandgents @caracalwithchips @averyhotchner
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sebstanseabass · 3 years
Text
Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 21
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Afterglow chapters
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
NOTE: Again, the third person POV starts after this sign: ✪
Tag: @maladaptivexxdaydreaming
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Still covered in nothing but sheets, Bucky was sleeping in your arms by the time you woke up. Little snores were coming out from his mouth. You smiled at the fluttering sound and planted a small kiss on the top of his head. You laid there listless, legs still shaking from what happened last night, and mind still clouded by Bucky's past.
Peter's annoying coffee bean grinder started filling your ears. They echoed against the apartment walls. You internally groaned at the sound. You looked on your right to take a peek at the small gaps between the curtains and the window. It was still quite dark out, the sun almost waking up. The time on the clock read 6:00 in red blinking lights. You let out a sigh. Peter hated mornings, more than Garfield hates Mondays. The only logical explanation of him getting up early in the morning and making loud, annoying noises with that old grinder was that he didn't sleep through the night or he woke up too early with too many things in his mind. You wanted to choose the latter. If he didn't get to sleep last night, there was a tiny chance he could've heard you and Bucky — might've even walked right in the middle of a very heated, wild sex between his best friend and his stepbrother, seeing as you stupidly left the door unlocked (by this time, you were already out of bed, your naked body wrapped with a cheap bathrobe you've had with you since your college days).
You made a mental note to yourself to lock the door all the damn time, now that you and Bucky were being careful.
Last night might have not been the best thing you've ever done but it sure felt so good.
You stepped out of your room and approached the kitchen. Peter had his back on you and was just getting a filter paper from the top shelf.
"Good morning, Peter Parker." You said, earning a genuine shock from your best friend. Your voice came out groggier than you'd expected.
He turned around, a filter paper in his hand. "Jesus, y/n Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Sorry," you replied, "but it's six in the goddamn morning and you've probably woken up the whole building with your grinder."
He went back on his filter paper, placing it inside the coffee machine. That was probably the most expensive thing he'd ever gotten himself. "I ran out of coffee grounds. I had to make them."
You stayed quiet for a while, leaning against the counter and watching Peter pour the grounds into the filter. You watched as he smoothed the grounds with his finger. After a while, he placed both his hands on the edge of the counter, looking at the coffee drip. The whole time, you prayed to God Bucky didn't stir or make any noise in the bedroom. Thankfully, he didn't. He looked like he would be sleeping for a while, anyway.
Biting your lip, you walked to where Peter was standing and stood beside him. You waited for him to say something — anything about any noises he must've heard from last night but there weren't any. If he did, you'd be dead. You and Bucky would be dead.
Moments have passed. The coffee machine whirred on the table. The coffee pot was almost full. The dull kitchen smell was replaced by the inviting coffee aroma. Then, you found my voice
"I'm not sorry for taking the job, Peter." You started, your voice weak, barely a whisper. "I need it. But I am sorry for not appreciating you and your efforts to help me with my career. You have to know that. It's just... you know I feel about the corporate life — "
"I know, y/n." He cut you off. His gaze was now off the coffee maker but at the tiled wall in front. "I'm sorry for reacting that way. I was just tired from the trip." He faced you. A somber look crossed his face. Even if he was, just as he put it, "tired from the trip", you knew he was still hurt. And the more you looked at his baby-like face, the more you wanted to tell him about you and Bucky. You stifled yourself from doing so in your head.
Baby steps, y/n. Baby steps.
"I am proud of you." He stated. "I always have been. I hope you know that."
"Of course I do, Parker." A smile started to settle on your lips.
"It's one of the reasons why I want you to come work in the company. You've got a business degree, and you're a good photographer. And I'm proud of that. But," he paused, "I don't want to upset us both — especially you — by forcing something on you that you clearly don't want. If you're happy, then I'm happy. That's what matters, y/n."
That was a good opening, right? Usually, that was it: the perfect time to tell him that you were dating Bucky. If I'm happy, then he's happy. End of discussion. But things that don't go as planned also usually don't end up as well as you'd hope. After that, all you could utter was:
"Thank you. I am happy."
"And I trust Sam and Bucky."
You nodded, shying away at the mention of your lover.
Trust. It truly was a big and powerful word. The more you looked at Peter, the more the word "trust" started to blur all around him.
You shook your head, dissipating the thoughts swarming in your mind. "I'm starting today, by the way." You said.
"That's great, y/n." He replied. "And who knows, maybe you'll get bigger clients after this. I know Sam has a lot of connections when it comes to independent business owners. Bucky too! He probably knows a lot of models. Maybe he can help you with it, y'know? I mean, he's already helped."
"Maybe. Let's see." By this time, Peter was already pouring the coffee in his favorite mug. The words "Bucky" and "model" weren't sitting right with you. Was it a hint of jealousy on my end?
"Oh, how's it going with Wanda, by the way?" You asked, stirring the question in a different direction. Albeit liking that Peter was warming up to the idea of Bucky helping you, you didn't want to further the topic anymore as it was making you all shake up.
"She's coming in for a meeting today as well, actually. I really hope it goes well. This is the biggest account we've landed."
"That's good." You replied, nodding. Hoping that she wouldn't get Sharon Carter'd during the meeting. But then again, she was Wanda Maximoff — already known for her unremarkable talent. No one would ever think twice to question what she was capable of.
And who am I compared to her, anyway? You thought.
"So... you're starting today!" Peter exclaimed, stirring his coffee after putting in some milk.
"Yes. I have this pitch presentation for Sam and the team. But there's nothing to worry about. The last meeting went well and Sam and I have The Falcons' best interest." Then you told him about how you butted heads with his assistant, Sharon Carter.
"Oh, she's a Schmidt!" He commented, laughing. "Everyone's got a Schmidt."
You laughed alongside him, reminding yourself to beat Schmidt's ass when you see him.
"Man..." he trailed off. "How Bucky could convince you... it's still a mystery to me. You're kind of a hard shell to crack."
You chuckled nervously, gazing down at the floor. You didn't answer. You didn't know what else to say.
You and Peter chatted for a little while, burying the little hatchet you had. You talked more about the trip he'd had with his colleagues, the shocking truth about Steve's past ("Who knew he could write?"). Here, you made a mental note to yourself to perhaps check some articles he had written in the past. You also hoped some of them were online. By the time you and Peter stopped talking, he had already finished his cup of coffee and the sun was almost all the way up in the New York skies.
Before you even got out of the kitchen, you turned around and asked him one thing: "Hey, you still in love with that girl or did the whole retreat thing help you forget her?"
His back was turned to you once again as he was washing his mug. But his actions stopped once you asked the question. His head tilted. "Very much so."
You frowned, crossing your arms. "Very much in love with her still or..."
He turned around, his eyes meeting yours. "I'm still in love with her. Nothing's changed."
"See." You snorted. "The retreat thing was complete crap. Didn't do you shit. My advice for you? Tell her how you feel."
His eyes averted to the tiled floor, continuously nodding his head. "Perhaps."
With that, you left Peter with his lingering thoughts and wished him good luck. You must admit, the curiosity of who this girl he had been in love with for years was eating you. He was the kind of best friend who practically tells you everything that goes on in his life: all the good ones and the shitty ones. But you counted it fair, knowing that you too were keeping a dirty little secret from him. The only difference was your secret involved someone dear to him; whereas, his involved, perhaps, some girl you haven't even met yet. Maybe he met her in the office. Who knows?
You came back to your room, finding Bucky still asleep in your bed. You locked the door behind. The little snores coming out of his mouth were now gone. You woke him up quietly by kissing his temples and his forehead. After a few moments, his eyes fluttered open and a small curve by the corner of his lips started to show. The sun shone on half of his face, his ocean blue eyes absorbing all the light.
"Good morning, handsome." You whispered, smiling at him.
He chuckled and closed his eyes once more, letting his head dip into the pillow, as if shying away from a compliment. "G'morning." He lazily replied. "Is Peter still out there?"
"Yes, he's getting ready for work. You can go out after he leaves."
He rolled towards you, one arm dangling on your waist. "I don't want to go."
"You have to, silly." You giggled.
He shook his head on your tummy, tickling you. You laughed at the way he behaved. Different from the one you had witnessed last night. You stayed in bed for a little while, just in each other's arms, the silence closing in. It was a comfortable silence. One you could get used to. After what had transpired last night, silence was all you needed. Sometimes, it speaks louder than words could. We listened to each other's heartbeats, the sound of Peter's footsteps a few feet away from us, your shallow breathing, and the ongoing traffic just a few stories below
Then, Bucky broke the silence. "I never noticed how loud the traffic could be."
"It's either you've been living in a jungle or in a penthouse that almost reaches the sky."
"I'd like to live in a jungle." He continued. You prepared for his little ramblings, smiling to the wall in front. "So peaceful and quiet. I'd be swinging on vines to vines to vines like Tarzan. I'd like that."
You wanted to tell him a jungle isn't peaceful and quiet, with wild animals lurking around. But perhaps, compared to the human world, it was peaceful. Humans are behaving more like animals these days — or worse than them, even worse than the wild ones. But you liked that he was comfortable enough to tell you all the little weird things that were going on inside his head, all the good and bad, all the big and small. Things he had never uttered to others.
Perhaps it was good that the child in him was still there. At least he still sees the beauty in the world.
His phone vibrated somewhere on the floor, making your thoughts dissipate. He quickly picked it up as soon as he saw the caller ID.
"I have to go, doll." He sighed after talking to whoever was on the other line, picking up his boxers and his pants. You tilted your head to the side as he bent down, subconsciously biting your lower lip. "Tony's in the penthouse."
"Stark?" You frowned. "What's he doing in there?"
He pulled his shirt over his head. By this time, Peter had just finished showering. The water in the bathroom had just stopped dripping. "I'm about to find out."
"Peter's still out there. How are you gonna go out?"
His eyes moved to the closed window in front of him. "The same way I got in last night."
I raised your eyebrows, standing up. "In broad daylight? When people could see you? You're crazy."
"Well baby, I'm crazy for you and I see nothing wrong with that." He smirked, making his way towards you. "What's one more crazy thing to do?" He sped towards the window and quietly opened it, letting a cold breeze inside the room. His foot was just outside the window when you grabbed him and placed your mouth on his.
"Thanks for telling me about your past last night." You said, pulling away. It needed to be said. Now, you felt that you knew him better, knew the deep parts of himself he had been keeping, rather than the parts you already know about him. "I really appreciate it."
A soft smile landed on his lips. His hand caressing your jaw. "Thanks for listening, doll."
Then, he climbed down the fire escape, vanishing like Aladdin on his magic carpet.
--
The inviting smiles of the marketing team invited you into the conference room (the same one as last week) as soon as they saw you walk in. With your head held high, red lips, stilettos, and a bunch of papers and a laptop in hand, you shook all their hands with your free one, introducing yourself. Your eyes landed on Sharon who just gave you a nod. You turned around and fixed all the things you needed for your pitch on the table and felt a bit sad about you and Sharon's little exchange.
You were the only women in the room. The least you guys could do was to back each other up but clearly, it wasn't the way she usually goes. Or maybe she just really hated your guts.
While waiting for Sam to arrive, you practiced the speech you've had prepared a few days ago in your head as you skimmed the slides you prepared — all the color schemes, the tones, the framing, everything were on there.
Sharon approached you hesitantly. You looked up and gave her a questioning look, your fingers suspended in mid-air against the touchpad of your laptop.
"Barnes not coming with you today?"
"No." You briefly replied.
You went back to your presentation but Sharon didn't budge. She just stood there, looking down on you. "Can I help you with something or are you just gonna stand there?"
"You're not so bad, Ms. y/l/n." She said, startling you.
"What?"
"I saw your online portfolio." She answered. "You're good. I mean, you're no Maximoff but yeah, I guess you have potential. You just need a bit of push and the right audience."
You looked back up, giving her a small smile. Albeit the backhanded slap, it was the nicest thing she had ever said to you since day one. "Thank you."
"I'm looking forward to what you might bring to The Falcons."
"And I as well."
Sam arrived a bit later, having had some problems with the shipment of the next batch. You asked if this was going to be a problem in the production for the shoot but assured you and everyone else that it wouldn't be. Not anymore.
Bucky sent you a short text message right before you started the pitch, attached with a photo of him in a black hoodie with an unamused expression crossing his face. The hood perfectly framed his face in a weird way.
The day got dragged in seconds. Even though your pitch presentation about the production and post-production of the photos ended in a New York minute, with no further questions asked (surprisingly), the interview with the countless models and athletes took longer than you thought. Some even flirted with you (and not so subtle, you might as well add) to get the job. That alone just said a little too much of their work ethic and professionalism — which none of them had.
"She's taken, buddy." Sam glared at the model right across from you. "Move along now."
We watched the Australian model get up with a huff, mumbling something incoherent under his breath.
"I could've taken care of that, y'know." You sneered. "I don't need you looking out for me when Bucky's not around."
He scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest. His eyes on the papers lined up on the table. Beside you, Sharon was scribbling something on a piece of paper, double checking all the resumes, and couldn't care less about your conversation.
"Bitch please. I ain't looking out for you, kid. I'm looking out for Bucky."
"Sure, you are." You smiled, your eyes following the next model entering Sam's office. "Admit it, you care about me."
"Ha! You wish." His body language did say exactly that but his smiling eyes said otherwise.
The series of interviews went well after that, less people flirted. If not with you, with Sam and Sharon as well. Despite that, you've met people from different walks of life; people with stories to show and tell through photographs, stories worth telling, people who have been through success and failure, who have been marginalized by people who think of themselves as superior beings, people who are still finding purpose in life. And this is what you adored in this project and what you loved about photography. It was more than making money, more than a business, more than a face. It's all about the stories behind. And you couldn't wait to capture these stories in your lenses once you've chosen the twenty models and athletes.
After the long interview, you bid goodbye to Sam and Sharon, thanking them for the time and the work you've had today. To your surprise, you saw Sharon curve up a small smile as she shook your hand. Maybe you'd get along after all. Who knew?
You hailed a yellow cab in front of Sam's building and went straight to the bar, texting Bucky that you were on your way. You smiled, sitting closer by the window, looking up at the sunset hues in the sky. Now, whenever you looked at the sunset, all you could think of was Bucky.
As you looked above, some striking letters caught your eye: Stark Industries. The biggest, most famous business franchise there ever was not just in New York but in America. Tony Stark had hotels, restaurants, clubs -- you bet there wasn't something he hadn't owned yet.
Upon getting at the bar, Bucky was already sitting on the high stool by the counter. You were getting ready to hug him from behind but seeing Peter get out from the toilet stopped you. Instead, you went for a small smile and a wave. You would've killed to hug him and kiss him after a long day.
Nat wasn't around for her shift tonight, so it was just Nick and the other guys going around for orders. You wondered if Steve too was around or not but it looked like he wasn't. Well, that explains things. It wasn't that hard to put two and two together.
The bar's atmosphere was different without Nat around. Everyone was nice.
"Hey, it's Miss Big-Shot!" Even Nick was nice. "What can I get for ya?"
You ordered a non-alcoholic drink while telling Peter and Bucky how things went through today, secretly wishing it was just you and Bucky. You would've been sitting close together, thighs grazing each other, fingers brushing against each other under the counter, like a couple morphing into one entity.
You secretly kept glancing at Bucky, wondering what was in his mind, wondering if he too wished the same thing you had wished for, wondering if he would kiss me every chance he'd get to. You weren't a big fan of the whole PDA thing but when it came to Bucky, you'd let him do anything to you anytime, anywhere.
After you told them how your day went, you decided to ask a stupid question: "Oh hey, Bucky, how'd it go with Tony?"
Silence filled the counter. Bucky's eyes filled with horror while Peter shot you a questioning look. Then, he looked at Bucky. "You saw Mr. Stark today?" Then, back at you. "Wait, ho-how did you know about that?"
It was a good thing you were quick to think off the top of your head. "Bucky and I ran to each other in Manhattan and I asked how he was doing and then he told me about it! Right, Bucky?"
"That's it!" He replied, smiling awkwardly. "We did and yes, I told her."
"Aw, man. Mr. Stark never answers my phone calls or messages." Peter pouted. "What did you guys talk about?"
Bucky shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. "Business stuff. He says he wants me to be more... present. You know how he is."
But Peter didn't seem to mind about Bucky's reply. "How come he doesn't call me?"
"Oh my god, Parker, are you jealous?" You laughed, nudging his shoulder.
"Well, he never calls me!"
"Aw, is daddy too busy for his little boy?" You joked, pinching his cheeks which he slapped away.
"Ew, don't call him that!" Peter exclaimed, playfully glaring at you. "And he's not my dad! He's his dad!" He pointed at Bucky with his thumb."
"I'm adopted."
"Which technically means he's your dad." He replied. "Did he say anything about me?"
"No, not really." Bucky chuckled at Peter's whining, putting a hand on his shoulder, as if reassuring him. "Don't worry, kid. We'll go pay him a little visit and you can curse him out if you want. I'll be happy to back you up."
"Oohh, I can never do that to Mr. Stark."
"Why not?" You asked. "He's not your father. I say go curse him out."
"He's Tony Stark!" He exclaimed. "You'd be crazy to do that."
"You are such a baby, Parker." You groaned.
"I know." Peter smirked. "That's why women find me adorable."
"Gross." You cringed at him, throwing a cashew nut to his face. "Never ever say that again."
After about an hour of catching up, you three went to the apartment, the awkward silence during the elevator ride killing you each passing second.
You and Bucky stood behind Peter as he struggled to open the door, a little too close for Peter's liking (if he could see us now). Bucky slowly hooked his pinky with yours. You looked at him with a small smile on your face, then down at your pinkies hooked together.
They looked like a little knot on a string.
Bucky looked straight ahead, a sly smile playing on his lips as his hand moved from your hand to your ass. You slightly jumped at the contact, a small blush covering your cheeks. He removed it immediately when Peter managed to open the door after mumbling a few profanities under his breath. You quietly whimpered at the absence of Bucky's touch.
You went straight to your room after that, leaving Bucky and Peter in the living room. While changing, you noticed a gift-wrapped box sitting on your bed. It was a sleek black medium-sized box, adorned with a thick black ribbon, and thin silver ribbons. You frowned at it as you unbuttoned your blouse. You brushed your hand against the ribbon, looking for a note but there was none.
Once you put on some house clothes, you sat on the bed and carefully opened the box. You gasped as you carried the lid. Inside was the Nikon D850 — exactly what you've been wanting — and three different lenses, each with a different purpose.
"Bucky, you son of a bitch." You mumbled, adoring the equipment laid out on the bed.
On the bottom of the box, was a little white note that read:
For the most talented person I know.
Yours,
B.
You glanced at the door as you heard Bucky's laugh echoing against the apartment walls and immediately got out of your room. Peter was already walking to his room to change, leaving you and Bucky in the living room.
"You're welcome, doll." He whispered.
You wasted no time to push him towards the kitchen, and trapped him on the counter, your lips already smashing his. "You don't know how much I've wanted to do that since I saw you at the bar." You breathed out.
"Oh trust me," a quick peck on the lips, "I know."
"Bucky, the gift — "
"Is not too much."
"I was going to say I appreciate it." You smirked. "I think I know you well enough now not to say those kinds of things. But — "
He groaned, throwing his head back. "No buts, baby, please. Unless it's your butt." Then he, the cheeky guy he was, moved his hands on your ass, squeezing them.
"But..." You placed his hands back on your waist, giving him a look. "You don't have to do this all the time, okay?"
"I'm not making any promises."
"James, I mean it."
"Y/n." He smirked. "I mean it too."
"You're never gonna stop, aren't you?" You sighed, gazing into his eyes.
"You know me well enough to answer that question yourself. Now, what do you say when you've received something from me?"
"That's not fair. When you give it to me," you pushed your crotch against his, earning a slight groan from his end, "I normally don't say thank you. How come I should say it now?"
He sighed, shaking his head. "You're really something else. You know that, right?"
You rolled your eyes. "The amount of times you've told me that, Bucky, I swear — "
Then, he shut you up by kissing you softly on the lips. "Where's my thank you?"
You giggled, pressing against him harder. "How about I say thank you in a different way? How's that sound?"
"Right here? Doll, y'know I'm not one for a quickie. If I want to fuck you — "
The sound of Peter's door opening made you jump off Bucky faster than the speed of light. Peter entered the kitchen as you pretended to grab something from the fridge.
"So... this was nice." Bucky said, peeling himself away from the counter. "But I have to go. It's getting kind of dark now plus Howard's waiting for me downstairs."
You watched as Bucky and Peter exchanged their goodbyes by the door, and watched your lover walk away from you without a short hug.
As soon as you went back to your room, your phone rang. You immediately picked it up seeing Bucky's name on the screen.
"If I want to fuck you — and trust me, I always want to — I'd be doing it all day, all night. My place tomorrow. I'll be waiting for you, my little devil."
And with that, you laid on your bed, together with Bucky's gifts, with the thought of Bucky pleasuring you in all ways possible running through your head.
Steve Rogers strode in the mirrored hallways of the Stark industries with Jarvis right beside him, dreading for this spontaneous meet to end. Keeping his head low, he asked Jarvis:
"What does Stark want from me now, Jarvis?"
Jarvis gave him a side-glance, not uttering a single word.
"Oh come on, now." Steve looked at the blonde beside him. "Don't be shy. Usually, you have the right words to say."
But Jarvis didn't budge. He knew Tony well enough not to talk to Steve. Besides, it wasn't any of his business. He was just Tony's little errand boy -- alright, perhaps errand boy was a bit degrading. His... assistant. Someone who does the dirty work for the boss.
"The silent treatment? Really?"
Jarvis internally groaned. Steve didn't use to talk that much back in the good old days. Almost reaching Tony's office, Jarvis showed him the way but Steve stopped him.
"Yeah, yeah. I know where it is." Steve huffed.
"Very well, then."
"Oh, now you talk." Steve said, stopping right outside Tony's tall metallic doors. Jarvis offered him utter silence. "Always a pleasure, Vis."
Tony Stark sat on his cushioned throne, trailing a little yellow cab with his fingers, as if playing with toy cars. Once he heard the door close behind him, he turned around and met Steve's cold blue eyes.
"Mr. Rogers." Tony acknowledged, eyeing Steve from his head to his feet. "Please, sit down."
"I won't be long."
"I'm afraid that's not for you to tell." Tony's voice was firm. Authoritative. Something Steve never missed. "We have much to discuss."
Steve sighed, defeated. He had no other choice but to sit across from the jerk.
"If you're here to tell me to shut up about that thing you don't want Bucky to know, don't worry, I will."
"So..." Tony trailed off, pulling himself closer to his table. "You know that I know."
"It was more of a guess." He replied, frowning. "But knowing you, I just knew it to be true."
"Alright," Tony exhaled, minding Steve's cockiness, "let's cut to the chase here. Your little bar? Captain Brews? I want to buy it."
"No."
Tony was taken aback by Steve's swift answer but he didn't show it. People always said yes to Tony. Always. "I'm afraid that word isn't a part of my vocabulary."
"See, that's where we differ 'cause in mine, it is." Steve answered, keeping his voice strong and steady. "I don't want anything to do with you. I did everything you told me to. Leave me and my bar alone."
"How much do you want for it?"
"What?"
"Ten million? Fifteen?"
Steve scoffed, biting his lower lip. "I told you, I won't tell Bucky what I know. I've burned all the papers, all the articles, all the drafts. There's no evidence left. Buying the bar just to have your strings on me won't do you any good, Stark. I won't allow it. You've already had my word before, right? What's one more?"
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Hell Was The Journey
Summary: Max and Spencer's almost meet...two times before they do
Word Count: 1769
Authors Note: I love Max. I love Spencer and Max's relationship. I also LOVE Taylor Swift, so when I was listening to invisible string I couldn't help but wonder how that'd be a cute Maxcer fic. So here I am! I made a separate account to post this. I hope you enjoy!
p.s this isn't probably the first fic inspired by that song, but I am pretty sure it is the first Maxer one. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
4x8
Max let out a deep sigh as she checked her watch. She had an hour before she had to head to her student teaching placement, an hour she wouldn’t have if her professor didn’t end class early.
“Come on Max, let’s act like college students and do something on campus” her classmate Leah said.
Before Max could respond, Leah had already pulled Max off to a direction.
“You know we could be lesson planning. Or even better, go somewhere to eat!” Max grumbled as she would have preferred to spend the hour decompressing her teaching credential program’s tough schedule. Although she looked forward to seeing her students and loved being able to share the passion of art with others, Max still couldn’t help but wonder if this was what she was supposed to do with her life. She followed her mom’s advice about pursuing something she loved, but an art history degree unfortunately isn’t getting her job interviews.
Ignoring her, Leah stopped at a bulletin board that listed all the current events that were going on campus. “Max! They are holding an FBI recruitment seminar in a few minutes, we should go!”
“I don’t think the FBI will be impressed with my 5’2 stature and art history degree” Max snorts and shakes her head. “Besides, we are pretty knee deep in another career path.”
“I know that, but who knows who we’ll meet. Maybe some cute guys are interested, or better yet, maybe there’s some hot FBI agents here already. Let’s go!!” Without giving Max the second to respond, Leah at pulled her off to the direction of the building the FBI seminar was held.
They arrived a few minutes before it started. The presenter was an older man, who seemed to be already chatting with another attendee, who seemed to be dressed to impress wearing a suit and tie. It wasn’t until the younger man turned around that his holstered weapon was visible.
“What have I been doing wrong if he’s in the FBI. He looks about our age” Leah whispered.
Before Max could respond, her phone starting buzzing. Leah sent Max death glares as she picked up the phone, her brother-in-law Jared doesn’t call her unless it’s important.
“Hello?”
“Michelle’s in labor! We’re on our way to the hospital now. Meet us when you can!” Jared hung up right after his last words, probably calling the rest of the family.
After a few seconds of shock and the reality that her sister was going to be a mother, and Max would be an aunt registered, Max gathered her things right as the presenters started introducing themselves.
“Hello, good afternoon my name is David Rossi and I hav-“Leah looked at Max waiting for an answer as to why she was just leaving so quick.
“Sorry I’ll call you later” Max whispered, “let me know how it goes!” She slides out the door and starts running towards her car, knowing she will be meeting her niece or nephew very soon
10x9
Max couldn’t believe the news about her friend Jessica. Although her and Jessica haven’t been close ever since she went behind Max’s back and dated Mike Davis a week after they broke up, she was still horrified and saddened by the details of her death. Max knew that Jessica wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but she was a business owner, and her responses were always out of fear and stress about making ends meet.
She had already been in contact with other mutual friends she shared with Jessica, and she began scrolling through old pictures she had.
Max thought for a very long time that Mike Davis was going to be the man she’d marry. After a tough time getting a steady teaching job and losing her mother, Max so desperately wanted something she could say was hers. This led to her moving quickly with Mike and missing (and ignoring) the clear red flags. Even after the cheating and lying, Max was willing to forgive Mike. No matter how many times they broke up, Max always hoped for the day Mike would just pick her, and only her.
Feeling guilty about practically ending her friendship over a guy like that, Max sighed as she grabbed her keys to head to work. That’s when she jumped over her phone ringing.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Maxine Brenner?” a deep voice asked.
“Yes, yes this is her. May I ask who I’m speaking with?”
“My name is Aaron Hotchner, I work with the FBI and I’m calling to ask you questions about your friend, Jessica Harris. She had you listed as an emergency contact.”
Max’s heart stopped. She didn’t know. “Yes, yes of course. We haven’t been in contact as much, but I want to help however I can.”
“Would you be able to stop by our office this morning?”
Max bit her lip. She had already used all personal and sick days, and her current principal was everything but understanding. “I’m on my way to work right now, and unfortunately won’t have time until this afternoon.”
“I understand. Give me a second and I’ll connect you with another agent who can talk to you on the phone, and they’ll see if you should come down again this afternoon.” At the bureau, Aaron looks out his office window. He sees Spencer looking at the board of the case with the pictures of the victims and their location.
Aaron steps out of his office, enough for Spencer to hear him, “Hey Reid, I have a contact that knows Jessica on the phone right now, can you ask her some questions?”
Spencer doesn’t turn around. “I can’t right at this moment, I’m still putting together information about our other victim”
Aaron scans the room and noticed Anderson without a task. “Anderson! I’m gonna patch you with someone who knew one of our victims. If anything seems worthy have her come down this afternoon.”
Max twiddled her thumb until finally she hears another voice, “Hello, my name is Agent Anderson and I’ll be asking you a few questions about Jessica.”
During her entire commute, Max answered questions about Jessica truthfully. She winced when she realized she didn’t have many good things to say about her. Agent Anderson thanked her, and as of right now he doesn’t see a need for her to come down. Max thanked him and grabbed her things and walked towards her school. She knew her students would be able to make her smile.
15x4
It was Saturday morning and Max smiled as her nephew talked about school over breakfast. Her nephew was almost as tall as she was, but she still remembers how small he was when she first held him all those years.
She finally felt like she was in a good place. After many years of struggling silently Max got the strength to go to therapy and take the time and energy to truly heal. It was hard, she always found pride in her independence and her high walls. The decision to go wasn’t easy, but when she realized how much it was affecting her relationship with Sammy, she knew she had to go. For the first time, she talked about her childhood and the pressure of growing behind her sister Michelle’s shadow, losing her mother and her toxic, fast paced and short lived relationships.
For almost two years, she had been applying the advice her therapist had gave her. She took care of herself, began putting effort in her relationships with her family, especially Michelle, and instead of ignoring the topic of her mother, she talked and remembered her fondly. She even got in touch with a headhunter, considering maybe it was time to leave teaching and find something that was meant for her. The other day she even thought about asking her brother-in-law if any of his coworkers were single, but she didn’t because she still wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
“Max, can we get cinnamon rolls at the coffee shop we always go with my mom?” Sammy looked up with big puppy dogs eyes.
“Sammy, we just finished eating. You sure you have room?” Max raised her eyebrow as she paid the bill.
Sammy thought for a minute, “I actually don’t know. But the park is right there so we can always go there for a bit.”
“Mhhh,” Max thought for a minute herself. She looked out and saw that it was a beautiful day in D.C and she would appreciate more time with her nephew, “Alright, let’s swing by the park!”
When they got there, the parking was full. She did a few laps, and she was ready to give up, “Sammy, I don’t think it’s possible we’re gonna have to try again another time.” Max turned her blinker to turn on the road again to drop Sammy off at his house.
“Awe come on Max! It’ll be quick I promise!” Sammy gave his best puppy eyes and Max knew who would get their way.
She turned her car around and parked on a no parking area and turned to Sammy. “We have to be SO quick.”
Sometime past season 15
Max looked out the window of her dad’s house as she plans the summer programs for the Smithsonian. Spencer was teaching Sammy a new magic trick as the rest of her family preps dinner outside. It had been almost two years since that Saturday at the park. Something that wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t make that spur of a moment decision.
Spencer and Max had already realized the two times their paths would have crossed. It was more decisions that delayed their meeting, but they both agreed that they were supposed to meet on that Saturday. They had to go through things, change, hurt and grow to be the person they were today. The person that was right for the other.
Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.
Max put her things away. There was something that connected her with Spencer, and today, she thanked that thing a little more. She reached her bag that had a positive pregnancy test. Holding it close to her heart, she thought back of all the things that had happened, and she would do it again to be with Spencer and grow their family.
Spencer saw Max walking down to join them, he grins and thinks to himself he will never get over seeing her. He still feels like that Saturday night when he found her again after waiting in the hospital.
“Took you long enough” Spencer says as he laugh
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crookedtreepoetry · 2 years
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