#havin no space 2 sharin space w yr partner likr yeah i will b happy n comfortable but i am still missin irreplaceable experience.....

[gurorori]

speaking of not having a room in my life ever... don't think it's ever talked abt how much of a deeply traumatic n dehumanising experience that is & i mean that wholeheartedly

everyone our age i know to this day who we grew up with has one, grown up with one since early childhood, had choice in what to surround themselves with in their own space and could have privacy when needed

i sleep in a single bed in a corner, that's all i have. we've always shared a room with 1-3 ppl and it was never a bearable experience growing up, but once you reach your early teens i feel like it just starts being traumatising regardless of environment. i know most of the time it's not anyone's intent to deprive children of personal space, it is most often the result of poverty & inability to give them that but i'm fully convinced you should not be having a child if you can't give them that

maybe my own experience is saturated by other household trauma that this lack of personal space opened us up to but as a whole, i think it's abuse to deny a growing human being their fully own space, as small as it could possibly be, any space at all ... i can't really explain why it's such an important part of growing up but not only do i still feel alienated based on that alone, i also don't feel like i have any right to privacy at all, no place i can just be and do what i want without being watched, judged, commented on or demanded a change (i can't turn the light on/off or close/open the door or windows without input! i can't keep the door closed at all actually bc she will come and open it and ask why i need it closed!)

anyway i just feel like it contributed to our trauma insurmountably and affected our mental health to this day. it feels like yet another puzzle piece in 'normal human development' missing that i will never be able to fill in?

i wonder if there r any studies done on this or any professional opinion on depriving children of personal space & privacy. reading other people's experiences online unanimously seems to imply it immensely fucked up our senses of self n complicated being in touch with our needs

so conclusion i guess. if ya plan on ever having N amount of children PLEASE think realistically if yr able 2 provide em an environment that allows em 2 have all of their needs fulfilled... n that absolutely includes the right to privacy