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hccn-overseer · 2 years ago

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Issue 8, 6/7/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

This week’s news is once again accompanied by a PDF version of your latest news brought to us once again by the lovely Cheer! Pick it up right here for your viewing pleasure!

As the newspaper settles into a rhythm, you may find yourself thinking, "What comes next? You've conquered the Hermitcitizen Hub, you've nearly conquered Tumblr–so what will the newspaper do now?" Now, it's unlikely you're thinking this, but the newspaper staff has been thinking this, and rather than doing something drastic and stupid, we've decided to expand. Yes, expand. Where to, you might wonder? None other than the archenemy, the place of limited characters, the worst place on the internet.

Yes, we're talking about Twitter.

“WHY,” you may be wondering. “Why on earth would this place, of all places, be the spot to expand to?” If we're going to be fully honest, it's because someone proposed it and we couldn't come up with a good reason not to. If you ignore the immense numbers of CC's hiding in the corners, it's perfectly safe for a little fan–made newspaper like us.

While Tumblr has been lovely, and yes, we are still staying–it's our home base, have no fear–Twitter will give opportunities such as…well, not really any new opportunities, other than a possibility that more people will see it! Hopefully this is true, and we will keep you up to date with the process–as is the job of a newspaper. Maybe a handful of new staff members will need to be hired to help oversee the new section of the newspaper, but of course, expect no pay. Nobody gets paid at the newspaper, even if you have to deal with Twitter.

As for how we're planning to carry this out, with the limited character count, because no, not even half the newspaper–hell, not even half this article–would fit into a singular Twitter post, the answer is that it's very likely that mini announcements will be posted there, especially throughout the week, mayhaps, as well as the PDF versions, for easier viewing!

Thus, The Overseer would like to announce that it will be expanding towards Twitter in the near future, as that will surely bring nothing but joy.

Here's hoping we might survive, because we really can't afford to hire even more staff, we don't even pay them in the first place, but there are a limited number of citizens out there willing to be unpaid interns. See you at the worst place on earth, citizens!

Written by Roo

Now onto other news below the cut!

Affiliate Summaries

by Roo

FalseSymmetry: They’re making puns. This is greatly worrying, and honestly, I don’t know what was ever expected.

GoodtimeswithScar: He has a gun, and Pearl has adopted Scar. Apparently.

Grian: He is gobsmacked! He is appalled.

JoeHills: (Wearily) Joe Hills.

MumboJumbo: Just look for yourself. Honestly, maybe don’t do that? I think the Mumbo affiliates need therapy. YouTube thumbnails have ruined their lives.

PearlescentMoon: They’re hosting a marriage?

ZombieCleo: Cleo and Gem on the same team in Pride MCC? Yes indeed, you heard it here first folks, totally, this information hasn’t been given anywhere else, but that’s what a newspaper’s for.

AS ALWAYS!!! If your affiliate group isn’t here. You simply weren’ t talking. Apologies for the short update this week!

Astrology Corner

Flowerscopes by Winter

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday and look up your star sign and wonder, “Do I need to invest in your flower club?” “Will I need to plan out my life looking at the floral arrangements in my future?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*

Hydrangeas: The reader is suggested to arrange an Apple Blossom with Belladonna and Bittersweet, and adorn their room with Hibiscus.

Lillies: Go for a walk and while you are on the walk you may need to look after some Aloe. While you may feel alone, you will never be Anemone.

Orchids: Look to the sky and dream of Yarrow. If you need a bit of help Ivy may be useful.

Carnation: If you feel lost plant Clover. Do not look back on life with Marigold.

Gerberas: Plant Lily-Of-The-Valley, it will help. Look at Lilac and savor it.

Peonies: Trust in life Hyssop will end in Honeysuckle. You will achieve Holly.

Tulips: Look forward you can and will have a Larkspur. Look at the Newspaper staff with Lemon Balm.

Daisy: Go volunteer you will achieve Goldenrod. You may find some Ferns.

White Chrystanum: To cleanse your home smoke Dill and perform a ceremony to keep yourself safe.

Baby’s Breath: You will find underneath your pillow Clematis and Corriander.

Rose: You will experience a Lotus Flower.

Iris: You will understand a Spearmint and a Snapdragon.

All star signs: Don’t worry. Current Sign off.

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing will happen to you. Hydrangeas = Aries Lillies = Taurus Orchids = Gemini Carnation = Cancer Gerberas = Leo Peonies = Virgo Tulips = Libra Daisy = Scorpio White Chrysanthemum = Sagittarius Baby’s Breath = Capricorn Rose = Aquarius Iris = Pisces

Op-Ed: Avians and The Watchers

By Lydia

A great number of Avians have taken refuge in The Birdhouse as they have either recently escaped from or recently rescinded their status as Watchers. This development has taken place over the past several weeks since the construction of The Birdhouse itself. During this time, the lavish structure has seen a large group of displaced individuals staying inside for multiple nights at a time, as they slowly transform the area into their sanctuary from the dreaded (seemingly) omnipotent beings. While The Birdhouse was never officially announced during its initial construction days as a haven from The Watchers, the treehouse has found itself to be one of the most crucial structures on the entire server, being the championed landmark of over thirty citizens.

A recurring discussion among this eclectic cast is their ability to accommodate the psychological repercussions that The Watchers have given them, both to the group as a collective and to the individuals themselves. While many of them struggle with the aftermath of having been manipulated and deceived by The Watchers as mere Players, or are recent escapees of the omniscient ensemble, their troubles were far from over upon their arrival. Malevolent Watchers are known to be notoriously sadistic towards those that dare defy them, acting in retaliation through possessing Avians who have been claimed by The Watchers as their puppets, and through physical attacks, kidnappings, and the erasure of memories of said puppets. This is only the surface of their nature and does not cover the entirety of torture methods used by The Watchers.

The consequences of both the past and the present harrowing events cannot be understated. The preponderance of Avians who have dealt with The Watchers harbors several growing internal conflicts. These conflicts cover a variety of personalized disquietude, such as guilt over having been a part of The Watchers themselves, the struggle to control Watcher-given powers, increasing anxiety over the possibility of the Watchers returning to attack The Birdhouse and its inhabitants, distrust between those who are former Watchers and those who are not, the need to ensure that their companions are protected at all times, survivor’s guilt, the knowledge that their loved ones are still in The Watcher’s captivity, and the growing lapse of memories in the minds of those who are Watcher’s Puppets, among other mental dilemmas.

Despite the ongoing crisis regarding malevolent Watchers, the Avians have made great efforts to fight back against them, both through self-defense and the use of another outstanding ensemble that is perhaps on par with The Watchers in terms of their overarching presence: The Listeners. An invisible barrier, serving as a mystical security system for The Birdhouse, was invoked by the de-facto Birdhouse guardian, Ayre, an assistant archivist, and coordinator at The Perimeter. Ayre has also been named as the de-facto “parent” of The Birdhouse for extrapolating their wisdom and caring instincts towards the other members.

Ayre, having previously encountered The Watchers when they were kidnapped and placed into a Third-Life-structured Server, was rescued by The Listeners after refusing to give The Watchers a violent and callous show of competition as a Player. Due to Ayre's affiliation with The Listeners, an imperfect but necessary group for the Avians’ protection, they had gained the ability to use a Listener Incantation to cast a permeable unseen shield over The Birdhouse. This barrier allows only those who have absolutely no harmful intentions toward The Birdhouse members to stay inside the treehouse for longer than a few minutes. The incantation applies specifically to those who are Watchers, cast in hopes of both providing both a practical use and a psychological one to put those who are suspicious of Watcher Avians at ease.

Ayre does not carry the task of helping their fellow Avians alone, thankfully. With everything from personal crafts, baked goods, home-made meals, preening sessions, the arrangement of many blanket forts, and personal décor, The Birdhouse has the mark of not only the citizens who seek a moment to rest, but the mark of those who have overcome incredible horrors. Those who have come to The Birdhouse now show not merely desperation, but the determination to make it an introductory testament to their survival. They engage in all manners of jovial discussions, camaraderie, and creative pursuits, with the addition of meals, music, and medical treatment sessions. A sense of normalcy, whatever that may be, can be elusive during times of both tangible and intangible terror. Despite this, the work that the Avians have put into making their presence in the overall Hermit Citizen community prevalent does not go unnoticed by our reporters at The Overseer. Though these citizens are under the gaze of The Watchers, they are also in the vicinity of those who would seek to bolster them from the sidelines, no matter how far away they may be. While our impact is significantly limited, we firmly believe that they have everything it takes to overcome the trials of the malevolent Watchers, and the expectedly nonlinear recovery processes throughout their time as Hermit Citizens.

Weekly Weather Report

By Nes

Thursday - Thunderstorms are expected to hit the server early Thursday morning and continue into the evening. Citizens can expect a high of 7 degrees Celisuis (45F) and are advised to stay indoors if possible. Flooding is expected for those in valleys and close to the ocean.

Friday - Clear skies are expected Friday with highs of 18 Celsius (65F), chance of rain is low and conditions are optimal for outdoor activities such as building, hiking, or gathering resources.

Saturday - Clear skies with high winds is expected Saturday with winds reaching 20kph and a high of 21 Celsius (70F), chance of rain is moderate and citizens are advised to take caution when flying as windspeed could peak in some areas.

Sunday - Cloudy skies is expected with the wind from Saturday continuing at 20kph and a high of 11 Celsius (52F), rain is highly likely and citizens are once again advised to take caution when flying.

Monday - A thick fog with light drizzles is expected Monday morning before clearing up some time in the afternoon to clear skies and a high of 15 Celsius (59F), citizens are advised to take cation when traveling in the early hours and to enjoy the moderate temperatures of the afternoon.

Tuesday - Clear skies in the early hours with moderate rainfall around noon and a high of 26 Celsius (79F) is expected Tuesday. Citizens are advised to get any outside work done early in the day to avoid being soaked.

Wednesday - Rain is expected to continue until Wednesday morning before clearing up into cloudy skies with a high of 24 Celsius (75F), citizens are advised to enjoy the nice weather with a beach episode or picnic.

Days since last...

A few issues ago, we had a great list of days since the last accident on the Hermitcraft server. As the server is still an OSHA violation, we are happy to inform you that, once again, the list is here and the record currently held is still 0.

Ancient Ruins (BdoubleO’s base): 0 - We salute everyone who got killed by HotGuy while protecting the horses. You are the backbone of our society.

Total Chaos: 0 - The fletching table still has no functionality and witches on the sides of Total Chaos still are deadly.

The Perimeter: 0 - Going too close to the wither cage is your own fault.

Etho’s Alien Base: 0 - We know and love the speedy running, but falling from the platform on which the base is, is your own fault.

False’s Base: 0 - The elytra course and kinetic energy are claiming many victims.

Scarland: 0 - Do not touch the funny flying skulls.

Rift/Grumbot Laboratory: 0 - Jumping into the pen with many chickens will kill you.

Gem’s Village: 0 - Trying to recreate the barrel diorama doesn’t end well.

Hypno’s Base: 0 - Gravity will work if you jump down the pit.

Jevin’s Cathedral and Castle: 0 - We know that Jevin is looking for artifacts, but, important note, do not try to show the fabricated artifacts to actual historians. They will not appreciate it and they know how to use weapons.

Dwarven Keep: 0 - The lift is fun, it is great, and easy to fall off.

OMEGA Cave: 0 - The slimes in the pit are not hungry, you don’t have to feed them.

Pinball Machine: 0 - Blowing up the area under the base ended up with many casualties.

Keralis’ Base: 0 - Remember that there are many holes in the walls and floors.

Mumbo’s Vault: 0 - Somehow, many people got bitten by a particularly blood-thirsty horse.

Pearl’s Alien Landscape: 0 - The area with chest monsters is still down there and you can get out. Please get out of there.

Gigacorp: 0 - Don’t run around working tree farms. Crastle: 0 - Trying to hide artifacts from Cub/Cleo will never end up well for you.

StressMonster101: 0 - Do not talk to the people you don’t know in the new forest, and do not give them your names.

Decked Out: 0 - I could make a montage out of all of the Decked Out workers falling to the bottom of level three while trying to decorate the walls.

TFC’s Branch Mine: 0 - Look under your feet when walking around. Ravines are your enemy.

VintageBeef’s Map Island and Cottage: 0 - Group hiding in the outside toilet is heavily discouraged. TCG Arenas: 0 - Watch where your elbows go while cheering. Too many people have gotten an elbow in the face treatment lately.

Welsknight’s Village Area: 0 - Do not go outside the area that is lit up. Mobs exist.

xB’s Base: 0 - Do not go into the pens of animals in the Zoo.

Xisuma’s Base: 0 - Be careful when going through the rainbow corridor as colors may distract you and you will fall off. (Happy Pride everyone!)

Zedaph’s Place: 0 - That bed is not safe to sleep in.

Atlantis: 0 - This is an actual creeper, not the Scar’s costume. Run.

Shopping District: 0 - Twinkly Trash expansions contain redstone, and huge falls, and cars. Just be careful. Also, when the sign says “Do not cross the line,” listen to it.

Spawn Village: 0 - The pig slime is not bouncy. And using Cub’s tunnels is safe for Cub and him only.

This content was brought to you by Ilea.

Scar Unsafe Hermits

By Nes

Hermits’ bases are often judged based on whether or not they’re considered Scar safe, and rightfully so, because this man dies a lot. If anyone could die in one block of water, it would be him. But one thing we rarely consider is whether the Hermits themselves are Scar safe. Which Hermits get Scar killed the most? Which ones are currently out to get him? Does he just randomly implode near some of them? Well, dear reader, today we bring you a list of the top 5 unsafe Hermits for Scar to be around.

#5 - JoeHills

While Joe is not inherently a threat to Scar, he is immune to the good times as demonstrated during the 2023 Sexyman polls, where he beat the builder in scitty to scitty combat. We praise his valiant victory and also advise he keep his distance from Scar lest his power to resist the good times kills him.

#4 - Cub

Although they were partners via Convex for a while and seem to be on good terms, we here at The Overseer have no doubt Cub would kill Scar if given the chance. He has already replaced Jellie with a clone. What if Scar is next? Be Cautious.

#3 - Grian

Grian may have kept him alive throughout 3rd Life and a few other series, but at the end of the day, he is also the cause for a lot of Scar’s deaths. Just to name a few, killing him with a creeper in 3rd Life, killing him with a creeper in S8, almost killing him with dripstone several times, pushing him off cliffs, etc. Additionally, Scar is a hazard to Grian. Despite this, they can not be separated, it would destroy the fandom.

#2 - Doc

Docm77 is typically unsafe for Scar to be around solely due to the fact he can break the laws of reality. However, this week he is an extra risk to the builder thanks to The Incident where Scar and Grian blew up his machine. It is advised that Scar runs, and never stops, because Doc will find him eventually.

#1 - Scar

… Who else did you think #1 would be? You could put this man in a 1x1 room with no hard surfaces and unlimited food and water, and he’d still die. We’re convinced his life goal is to die as often as physically possible, and it scares us. Scar needs to be protected from himself.

And that’s our list of the top 5 Scar Unsafe Hermits! Thank you for reading, and if you’re interested in if you’d make the list take the quiz: Are you Scar Safe? (https://uquiz.com/08u8h4)

Lost and Found: Issue 8

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A garden sculpture of three frogs. This sculpture appears to be a garden decoration that was found turned upside-down near one of Rendog’s race tracks. The sculpture has faded green, orange, and pink paint with several geometric patterns painted in many different colors on the backs of these frogs. It is said that they have a low harmony when placed in the sunlight. If this sculpture belongs to you, we hope that you still have room for it in your garden.

Item 2: Six pool floatation rings. These pool rings all differ in shape, some being created for toddlers and some being created for fully grown adults. They arrived in various bright colors with patterns of pineapples, flamingos, ghasts, allays, and dolphins on them. They were found near Pearl’s largest Alien tree covered in dirt and have since been thoroughly cleaned. If these are yours, enjoy your next trip to the ocean, or the lake!

Item 3: An iron robot with bright blue eyes. This iron robot measures approximately 4 and a half feet tall and was found wandering through the Shopping District, asking if anyone had seen its owner. When asked the name of its owner, it stated a series of letters and numbers unknown to us. SB-129. If this robot belongs to you, please take your time in picking it up, as it has been very helpful around the office during the past week. We are fully stocked on coffee, tea, and junk food, thanks to our new underling.

Item 4: A pile of music discs, all of which contain original instrumental music. These music discs do not have titles written on them, however, they do play a selection of genres, including electro-pop, bluegrass, southern gothic, bossa nova, jazz, and reggae. They do not have an artist’s name on them. They were found without any container or sleeves to hold them. Staff members note feeling unexpectedly impressed at the quality of the music. If these discs are yours, please continue your musical pursuits, and send us a copy of your first album!

Item 5: A large lava lamp. This lava lamp measures approximately five feet tall, with a black base and lava from the Nether inside of it. Upon being plugged in, it was revealed that several miniature depictions of Striders and Ghasts were placed inside. If this lava lamp is yours, we hope it can continue to serve any groovy purposes you have in store for it!

ADVERTISEMENTS

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Due to the upcoming newspaper expansion to Twitter, the overseer is looking for mods! Please contact Roo in the newspaper headquarters if interested. Leave your flint and steel at the door.—————————————————

Stuck in a jam and need an answer quick? Contact The Seers today! Just type any questions, stories, or problems into the Newspaper ask box and our lovely Seers will answer it as soon as they can! We are always thrilled to hear from you.

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You and your cat are invited to a tea party this Friday! Yes, the little rascal can come too. Mumbo has “lent” The Gardening Club his vault and said we’re allowed to do whatever we like! So, come on down to our one-time-only cat cafe! There’s enough tea and coffee for the entire server.

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Please do not accidentally take home a Pearl Affiliate instead of your pet, we need to return them by 9.

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Still unsure of whether or not your base is safe? Call Scar Unsafety Services, and we will make sure it is NOT. Every new build is a potential MOSHA violation waiting to happen.

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Fun and Games

This week's games are brought to you by Lydia

#issue #hermitcitizen #pdf edition #hccn affilate happenings #hccn astrology corner #hccn weather #hccn days since last...#hccn lost and found #hccn advertisements #hccn fun and games

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hccn-overseer · 2 years ago

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Issue 1, 4/19/2023 - Hermitcitizen Hub Online!

Issue Masterpost About The Overseer

This week, the Hermitcitizen Hub launched to the joy of Hermitcraft fans across the internet, providing a space for all of us to geek out about Hermitcraft and our own newly-minted Hermitcitizens.

Since its debut on Tumblr on April 12th and subsequent spread to Twitter on April 13th, the Hub has grown to a staggering 500 citizens, a number that has only increased since the writing of this article.

With this influx of new citizens, the Admins are looking for more moderators in order to keep the server safe and fun for everyone involved! More information on applications is available in #announcements, for all those interested.

This week has been productive to say the least, and with each passing day comes new things in the Hermitcitizen Hub! For starters, mod applications are open! Full information can be found in #announcements.

PluralKit was also recently added, which we would also like to remind is not to be used for roleplay! PluralKit is created for systems in the server who would like to use it- again, more info can be found in #announcements or #bot-channel!

Limited Life episodes are in full swing, so any and all talk about it should be kept to #Limited Life: Spoiler Zone so if people haven’t watched it yet they don’t get unnecessary spoilers.

Lastly, please make sure you update your internet browser for safety reasons- Safari and Google Chrome have both released updates that are important to keeping your internet time safe. Here’s to another great week, citizens!

Now onto other news below the cut!

Please keep in mind there are many news featured today and will take a bit of scrolling.

BREAKING NEWS - Former King’s Court Makes Plans for Revenge

By Virtual

Former members of King Ren’s court held a meeting this week that could spell disaster for the fallen King of Hermitcraft. The court has scattered to the corners of the server in the weeks since the fateful revolution, but they have gathered once again with a single mission in mind: Making Ren pay.

In the wake of King Ren’s rise to and subsequent removal from power, the lower members of the court have seen their diamonds and status go down the drain. As it would seem, being on the losing side of a monarchy does very little for one’s coffers. Some would expect a meeting of the King’s former court to end in schemes to return Ren to the throne, but it seems that the former King’s disastrous reign has soured the hearts of the people against the possibility of King Ren making a return. An anonymous source from within the king’s court notes, “There [has] always been a huge dissatisfaction…between the lower court members.” They then went on to describe at least five separate counts of espionage against King Ren. This dissatisfaction does not seem to have disappeared with the monarchy, and many are willing to go far to get their pay.

However, though the former King’s diamonds are surely as far gone as a Scarland worker’s sanity, the ex-monarch’s court doesn’t seem to be looking for material payment. Instead, they’re looking for something more like karmic retribution. Another anonymous member of the court summarized their mission with the phrase: "Karma is a bitch, and today we shall be bitches.” It’s not quite a worker’s union, but the newly formed Court of Vengeance is looking to get their fair pay just the same.

For those concerned about the impacts this may have on their chances of death, fear not. Reliable sources say that much of the court has sworn off true violence against former King Ren and any other server members. Citizens should be on the lookout for the occasional trap, but beyond that the Court of Vengeance doesn't seem to be taking their lost diamonds and dignity as an invitation for all-out-war. What they do seem to be looking for is something more dramatic, fantastic, and royally frightening for Ren the Dog. Safe to say, watch out for fireworks, and stay tuned this week for what is looking to be one hell of a show.

Weekly Weather Report

By Rainy N. Autumn

Thursday - SUNNY, 40% chance of falling anvils serverwide between 6AM and 6PM (GMT)

Friday - STORMS, 95% chance of the Limited Life finale. Frequent lightning strikes anticipated

Saturday - RAIN, 2-5cm of precipitation expected. Flash floods possible. Perimeter residents are advised to stay off the bedrock until 9AM Sunday (GMT)

Sunday - CLOUDY, be aware that low visibility may make it harder to spot Scar’s dragon if it gets loose again

Monday - SUNNY, 75% chance that Tango returns to streaming on Mondays. Expect phantoms around Deep Frost Citadel after sunset

Tuesday - SUNNY, the chance of getting hit by a falling anvil is low but never zero

Wednesday - WINDY, citizens are advised to exercise caution near Nether portals that are outdoors in the Overworld, as strong gusts may travel through

Days Since Last...

By Il

We all know that Hermitcraft is basically a safety haven and no OSHA violations have ever happened so let’s see how this week our table of days since last work accident are doing:

Ancient Ruins (BdoubleO base): 0 - please walk in caution, holes in the floor are not part of the final design we hope.

Total Chaos: 0 - we would like to remind everyone that tunnel to Total Chaos shoots fireworks that will kill you.

Perimeter: 0 - flying anvils, dragons, slimes, wardens, the usual stuff.

Etho’s alien base: 0 - do not sleep under trees inside the building, they are a tree farm.

False’s base: 0 - getting ominous banners is a hard job and we salute all of you.

Scarland: 0 - HotGuy still going strong with his shots, if you still have arrows stuck in you ask someone for help with removing them.

Rift/Grumbot laboratory: 0 - if you get stuck inside Grumbot please scream loudly, and if you are stuck behind the Rift then pray, we will try to get you out.

Gem’s village: 0 - sparring with your boss is technically not an accident, but it still causes workplace death so we count it. Aside, someone got stuck inside the head of the Gem statute.

Hypno’s base: 0 - dear beekeepers, remember that bees actually can sting and are not huggable.

Jevin’s cathedral and castle: 0 - fall damage is strong in this one, remember about your elytras.

Dwarven Keep: 0 - railings are there for a reason, and the reason is to stay behind them.

OMEGA cave: 0 - I know that iskallium looks tasty but it is in fact inedible.

Pinball Machine: 0 - you cannot parkour on the letters on the side, we checked.

Keralis’ base: 0 - lava pool may look tasty but it is not soup, please restrain from eating.

Mumbo’s Vault: 0 - falling into the screeching crevice will not end well same with being squished by vault door.

Pearl’s Alien Landscape: 0 - I know that the trees look tasty, but they are not edible and the hospital in there is not working, so please refrain from that.

Gigacorp: 0 - going inside creeper farm will blow you up and going into pumpkin farm will squish you. Crastle: 0 - the warden is still in the Vault and it is hungry

StressMonster101: 0 - drinking expired enchanTEA will end with tummy hurting or worse.

Decked Out: 0 - splashing into redstone will not end well, falling down unfinished landscape will not end well, falling down the Citadel will not end well and last but not least cuddling the ravagers usually ends up poorly.

TFC’s branch mine: 0 - when you stumble upon a ravine, look up.

VintageBeef’s map island: 0 - beware, phantoms and entity cramming. TCG Arenas: 0 - guys, you will get squished by an anvil if you stand for five seconds.

Welsknight’s Village area: 0 - do not go near Garry, there is a huge hole under there.

xB’s base: 0 - the ravagers in the zoo are not a part of mini zoo, do not pet them.

Xisuma’s ribcage: 0 - when you step out of his portal, stop, think and then move.

Zedaph’s place: 0 - whatever Zed asks you to drink is probably an OSHA violation.

Atlantis: 0 - we encourage you to be careful when walking on the high spaces and generally when walking because you never know when Jevin will strike.

Shopping district: 0 - it is encouraged to be careful while doing anything as there were seeing if loose wardens as well as wild HotGuy, when throwing away loose TCG packs stay behind the chains, when leaving iBuy go through the door and when going close to the Entity - don’t.

Spawn Village: 0 - the ravager near the mattress store is not a great cuddler, Elven Cookies are not mob proof and try not to fail at Octodrop next time.

Game Updates

By Winter @winterwhipbird

Welcome back to the Games Update! Decked Out just saw its first test runs! Zedaph went 3/12 in testing, giving him a 25% win rate. I’m sure the wranglers are proud of their ravagers! Decked Out is still being worked on and we’ll be delivering an update when it opens.

TCG on the other hand is wrapping up with the tournament. Currently for the Semi-Final bracket we have ZombieCleo vs xBcrafted and Docm77 vs EthoSlab. Viewers are reminded that if you do choose to go see either match, beware of falling anvils, as it is not a Scar safe area. If you’re not one to look up, or you’re a zombie, make sure to bring a hard hat, and always remember to wear sunscreen. If you’re looking to get some snacks during the games just pop by Prickly Punch! You can purchase cactus drinks and prickly pears for one diamond each.

For the Results we’ll be sure to bring you coverage of these exciting matches, so stay tuned! Send your predictions to [email protected].*

The high scores are as follows: With the Most Games Played is iJevin with a total of 15 games. The Most Wins go to iJevin with 9 wins. The Most Losses goes to Joe Hills with a total of 8 losses. The best win percentage currently goes to EthoSlab with an 80% chance of winning.

*not a real email address

Now lets look to some interviews and going-ons with the hermitcitizens day-to-day lives!

Affiliate Happenings

By Roo @nova-skittle and Jamie

What Have the Citizens Been Doing?? The affiliate channels, put in place with the rest of the server, give citizens the opportunity to connect with other citizens living near, working for, or otherwise connected to specific Hermits!

BdoubleO100: Nothing important. Morning Gorgious. Cubfan135: Good news, they’re fans of Cub. Nothing has changed. All is well in the world. Docm77: They’re planning to start a union. Finally, the dragon is dangerous as hell. Also! It has been discovered that the perimeter is indeed radioactive. Better think carefully about going to work for him, it seems all of the staff are starting to be radioactive themselves. Oh, and Doc is afraid of catboys. EthosLab: “Ninjas work in the shadows”, apparently. Aka, no one feels like working for him. FalseSymmetry: They’re just discussing how awesome False is. Dw, we fully agree. GoodTimesWithScar: This just in - cat ears or elf ears are now part of the Scarland Staff uniform! All of the Scarland staff have been shot by Hotguy at least once, seems a bit sus, no?? Visitors eating the gravel and cobble paths has become an increasing problem at Scarland and staff says they will revoke your visitors path if you are found nomming! Staff repeatedly says they are not liable for any harm, sickness, or strange curses that come to you after visiting! After the many incidents with Hotguy, staff has printed out a pamphlet stating how to avoid such attacks, and deal with those that are unavoidable. Grian: One of Grian’s fixers got stuck inside of Grumbot! Lemon is unhurt, but may be slightly traumatized after being unable to get out of the giant robot. The Fixer robots were quick to the scene and easily got them out. Now that the Rift is closed, a member of Grian’s staff is ALSO stuck behind it! We don’t know how they got behind the Rift in the first place, but there’s no foreseeable way to get them out now. Other staff members have been contemplating ways, but nothing stands out so far. We should likely be concerned about Grian’s staff, given that these incidents happened within a week of each other. GeminiTay: The only thing that has gone on is that only two people are Geminis. I MEAN WHAT WE’RE ALL GEMINIS!!! We are all Geminis who just so happened to be hired by GeminiTay! Hypnotizd: No news! Currently hiring: Hypno affiliates. I know you’re out there. Where are you hiding. iJevin: There’s been no activity. Wheres the Jev affiliates huh. ImpulseSV: They’re been nice and discussing their shifts :)) And where they work in iBuy, which is fair, considering how large of a building it is. Iskall85: hallo! JoeHills: They’re just enjoying themselves. Keralis: They’ve come to the conclusion that Keralis is just a creature. Just a guy :) MumboJumbo: They ate a lot of redstone and discussed their favorite redstone components. Mumbo am i right. PearlescentMoon: Announcement: she’s just a silly guy in a silly world. The end. Rendog: They might be rising an army. Don’t worry tho they’re a bunch of friendly theater kids. StressMonster101: They say hello :D TangoTek: Ravagers seem to attack workers despite being trained! Also I think a sleepover is being planned? In Decked Out? Which will be very safe I’m sure. TinFoilChef: They’re miners :) VintageBeef: They’re just chilling! Dw there will be plenty of TCG talk soon. Welsknight: They’re posting various images of welsknight. I dont know what else was expected. xBCrafted: They say hi as well! Xisumavoid: he do be rockin. Zedaph: They’re taking photographs of everyone around. By the end of this week they’ll probably have more Zedvancements than the man himself. ZombieCleo: They’re talking about working in a flower shop :) also i missed the episode of limited life where ZombieCleo dies in a glue trap, when’s that one going to be up? HC Recap: People sure are there!

Decked Out 2

By Winter @winterwhipbird

The greatly acclaimed game is continuing in steady progress! Winter has talked with several of the employees of Decked Out 2 to give us an interview from within the Deep Frost Citadel

<Winter> First of all, thank you for joining me today to tell me about how Decked Out Two is going. I have a few questions about how the game is going. First of all do you even get paid?

<ShadowsCome> In diamonds? no, not at all <redstoneman> Paid in experience! <glypharia> I’m not sure if he knows half of us exist <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I don't think half of us are even employed imma be honest <ShadowsCome> In here you either get paid in experience, emeralds or whatever you can find on chests. (In response to Azalea) Yeah that's fair... we ain't technically employed here. <rainyinautumn> I'm literally just doing this for fun, so…

<Winter> Oh, that certainly breaks some workplace laws(in reference to the no pay thing). Does anyone plan on playing the game once you finish it?

<Azalea_Bush_Heart> absolutely not :D <glypharia> Nope! <ShadowsCome> I've died to enough ravagers while fixing hazard doors, don't need more of those on my stats <redstoneman> Nope! I am afraid of ravagers. I don't go inside the caverns at all. <rainyinautumn> I've seen the ravager death statistics from testing. no plans to play it myself, I'll be busy anyway

<Winter> Does anyone have a favorite place in the citadel?

<Azalea_Bush_Heart> Pearls room on lvl 2, I eat lunch there a lot :D <glypharia> The back entrance! I like the stairs <ShadowsCome> outside of the game? Gotta love the middle tower, you can see most of the server from there <rainyinautumn> My office. It's way down in the basement by the game itself, but it's where I do all the reviews of game footage and sort stats. Very cozy. <redstoneman> i kinda like just being in the spaghetti!... the redstone stuff, that is <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I got lost in the spaghetti once <ShadowsCome> yeah the spaghetti is fun to be in <glypharia> it’s so weird in there

<Winter> is there anyone that you're excited to see in the dungeon?

<ShadowsCome> Etho. 100% <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I used to be excited to see revenger #3, but they've been replaced by a fake :( <glypharia> Scar, just to see him die every time <redstoneman> shh ... whaat... nothing happened to beast 3... <glypharia> rest in peace ravager #3 <rainyinautumn> Can't wait to run stats on Etho. <ShadowsCome> I want to watch the crazy strats some people are going to try to pull <Azalea_Bush_Heart> hermit wise I guess Scar? I like his building style and its the only chance I get to see him where he's not shooting me <redstoneman> i'll second etho, he was great in the first one! keralis as well!

<Winter> has anyone placed bets on who will be slain the fastest?

<ShadowsCome> not yet, but I think some of us will want day 1 stats before betting <Azalea_Bush_Heart> hey guys we should place bets on who dies fastest, I vote scar <rainyinautumn> I mean. I don't think anyone can outdo the wranglers honestly.(There was a lot of agreement on this point) <glypharia> i don’t think we’ve placed bets yet but i vote scar <redstoneman> common opinion is scar! Lol

<Winter> is anyone going to be monitoring the tango cam/will you use DO2 as a haunted mansion?

<redstoneman> i'll definitely watch some games! and it's already pretty haunted lmao so yeah <ShadowsCome> I would love to manage or monitor the camera for a bit! <glypharia> honestly watching the games sounds like a good down time activity <Azalea_Bush_Heart> I would rather not watch the camera but might for funsies if I get bored <rainyinautumn> I monitor cams all the time. Great for data collection. <ShadowsCome> we might have to set up a watch party for some players I think <redstoneman> we can place bets on those

<Winter> Will you allow other citizens to come watch/place bets on those matches, and if so who will they be able to contact?

<redstoneman> i don't see why not! <ShadowsCome> televised runs? We would have to ban hermits from getting in those in case secrets get revealed... but otherwise I don't see why not <rainyinautumn> Personally I frown upon betting on matches, but I'm not going to stop people from doing it. For me, the joy is in watching the game play out instead of hinging on certain outcomes! For others it might be different. <ShadowsCome> you just have to find whoever's on shift at the moment and they might be able to tell you where we're watching <redstoneman> hm true, so long as the viewers aren't looking to cheat by watching the games. maybe at the end of the game we can make a highlight reel or something lol <ShadowsCome> we all trust the honor system, Mr. Tek included

<Winter> That is very good thing to do. I guess in a few more weeks we will have to check back in on you guys and see if your predictions change. Thank you so much for this interview.

<Azalea_Bush_Heart> of course, please let the public know we are in desperate need of diamonds <redstoneman> thanks for interviewing us! <glypharia> thank you! <rainyinautumn> It was fun! I think most of us are like the dungeon master and don't get out very much, so it was good getting to talk to you!