#he crumbles and he waivers and he takes it all back. hes prepared to give them anything for this one man. for him to be safe for him to LIV

[kinnsporsche]

— Don't forget me. — Never could.

[absolutebl]

Old Fashion Cupcake - Courting Your Person with Pancakes

quick pitch

Old Fashion Cupcake 

Japan June 2022 Viki 

9/10

Foundational Romance Tropes? office romance, age gap, employee/boss, food is the love language, coming of age late in life 

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. 

It utilizes hand-held and super close camerawork, long shots, dirty framing, and marvelous acting (stagecraft) from everyone. The directing style it subtle but very precise and tailored dirty framing (AKA lots of objects and other people’s bodies interrupting shots.) 

Notice the frame is only direct and uncluttered when they are eating or being extremely intimate with each other? 

This show manages to make things that shouldn't be sexy so very sexy (like Togawa’s hamster cheeks - boy just wants to gorge himself, and not on food). It's truly art.

But there is so much more going on here.

Japan has a long tradition of using food, both the preparation and consumption, as an allegory for intimacy... ALL KINDS of intimacy (give Tampopo a shot, it’s a remarkable movie). And in this show the discovery of desserts, and the enjoyment of the experience of indulging, is explicitly both sexual seduction and emotional tethering. This is not just an exploration of youth for Nozue it is an exploration of desire and identity.

On the other hand, the want drips off of Togawa at all times, like true starvation. It’s epic levels of pining we are looking at and not just love but pure lust. It’s actually quite remarkable to see this done with Japan’s signature reserve, because the through line of the filming style and food allegory dictates they will simply have to show physical intimacy at soem point. But not of the explicit kind we get in the darker BLs from Japan (although they could easily go there), but of a truly sexualized romantic passionate kind that we don’t normally get from Japan in their softer BLs.

You see, there comes a point, when the food allegory has gone as far as it can, and Nozue recognizes that in episode 3, even as he doesn’t recognize Togawa’s desire. Because for him the desire has been made manifest though the medium of desserts... and now that sensation has been satisfied, he feels like that’s good enough.

But when Nozue shuts down the eating intimacy, Togawa was always destined to break open into into sexual need, just the way the egg yolk is broken open in the credits.

What is truly genius about this show is that when this finally happens at the end of episode 4, the camera switches to one long hand held shot. This kind of stage-craft reliant shooting is the ultimate form of filming intimacy - it is the camera’s form of trust:

The directer is trusting the cameraperson not to waiver,

the camera is trusting the actors to pull through for the entirety of the shot (no forgetting your lines on a long take, no missing your marks, no slipping out of character),

the actors are trusting the crew to capture it in that one moment when they give it their all.

This is the kind of theatrically-based close work is as near to sexual intimacy as actors and crew can get.

Thus the shooting style is, itself, a reflection of Togawa’s needs, of Nozue’s shock and realization and crumbling, of the levels of trust between them that are fracturing and reforming. It’s absolutely brilliant.

All that said I did find the final episode bit of a let down. Narratively it reverted back to pretty standard light Japanese live action yaoi, of the style I talk about here. I did expect a little bit more intimacy from this specific narrative even with Japan at the helm, at least showing the two of them cuddling in bed together or something very domestic if not kissing. I’m not surprised or upset that they returned to status quo, and this is still an amazing comforting unexpected gem of a show, but it’s not the 10/10 I thought it was going to be at the end of 4. 

Still, solid and watchable and 

DEFINITELY RECOMMENDED 

I wrote some more on this show with regards to age gap romance comparing it to Minato’s Laundromat here. 

(source)

[itsthe-neo-zone]

[03:18PM] ~ Park Jongseong x Reader, Apocalypse au

You didn’t want to live with the misery of regretting everything.

But that all went out the window as soon as the apocalypse began.

2 weeks, it’s been 13 whole days and 12 nights since the whole world decided to end itself.

The reason? An outbreak, a malicious deadly disease terraforming the earth in its own way. Killing everyone and everything with it. And when you say terraforming you mean turning us all against each other.

You regretted waking up that Wednesday morning, regretted getting out of bed, not hugging your mother in your arms longer and giving your family a proper farewell.

You were in school when it happened your district sounding the sirens, mid-week morning meaning you were in the dinner halls, you heard the sirens and all hell broke loose, the diners small tv monitor picked up an emergency broadcast.

Shaking your head subconsciously you drifted your mind away from what happened. It had been difficult thinking the past few days, even eating was becoming a luxury at times.

Like now, you’ve been wandering empty suburb streets looking for something to sustain yourself, where you were looked to be like a neighbouring district, but you weren’t sure, the sign posts were all ripped down to make any form of defence weapon, supplies were scarce at this point.

The scent on you was horrid but not as putrid as the stench of rotting corpses filing the earth. You stopped turning to look around you. The street was dusted with ruined houses all damaged and crumbled to the grounds.

Maybe you could crash into an abandoned one, maybe there was food and maybe you’d finally be able to use an actual bathroom. Your stomach grumbled with delight at the thought of food.

As you were about to pull the rusting metal rod in your hand towards the nearest property you heard a shrieking ear deafening pop,

The blood hit your brain, adrenaline began quickly building up inside you, like a band slowly stretching about to snap, your heart rattling in your chest. It tightened slightly. You swayed slightly from the shock of adrenaline hitting your numb body.

You swiftly turned to see nothing behind you but a pelleted bullet, someone around you had a weapon, and their target? You.

You began seeing the blurred edges of your sight return a sign to take response. Fight or flight. You chose the latter feeling weaker than expected. Heading outwards past the last few properties your best hope was to lose your hunter out in the wilderness.

Brushing past leaves twigs and the thicket of the edges of the lush greenery you low down once you’re no longer hearing bullets trailing after you. It was quiet

Almost too quiet to be normal. You push yourself up against a tree, straining your breath to regulate faster than it should. You regretted being stupid to do that too as you felt the persisting tickle at the back of your throat.

It let a much needed cough to begin crawling up your oesophagus. Shutting your eyes for a moment you stiffened your lips slightly holding it back. Why now of all times, you’d been surviving fine…

You could hear a slight crunch of foliage under careful feet, slowly creeping up on you.

You’d be done for this time if they did have a weapon. Trembling fingers dug into the metallic rod in your palms, they’d make indents from how hard you were gripping.

Feeling your chest tighten a little. The metal was starting to feel slippery in between clammy fingers but you held it to your face keeping your stance ready.

You were scared, no, terrified even. But that didn’t mean you were going to give up so easily. You wanted to survive, you had to.

Ironic.

A few weeks you were ready to give up on life itself.

As you sighed, you prepared to turn and show yourself but as you made a move you felt something restrict your breath and pull you away from the edge of the tree. You didn’t have your hand on your mouth though.

It was a foreign feeling but it was something you greeted with open arms, it was warm, and you forgot the caress of another on your cold stiff body.

Caress of another? It wasn’t my hands.

Gunshots sounded across the clearing you hid from. Disturbing screeches of birds fleeted from above. A harsh thump fell to the floor. A limp body.

But it wasn’t yours. You still had a chance.

Eyes widening, you registered the figure behind you keeping you hold in a strong grip.

The surging boost of energy you had left pushed you to kick with your feet. Backwards tripping up your attacker. The gunshots stopped but you were sure it was them, not just one but 2, maybe more…

The figure fell back unable to balance themselves but you were pulled back, you pushed yourself out of their hold, they pulled away regained their stance before attacking you from your side,

the male twisted his arm around your head and the other at your waist holding your arms down. He was agile and had strength but you managed to be faster. Quickly thinking, you moved.

Digging your elbow into their side hitting them right beneath their rib cage.

Bingo,

you heard a slight grunt they pushed away from you trying to recover.

You turned grabbing the rod, eyes shaking to survey the sight before you. It was just one, you swing your arms back getting ready to attack.

“Stop!” A strained call out towards your direction, but you faltered, it wasn’t for you? He directed it behind you falling back slightly. You turned to see another male.

Eyes trained like he was about to pounce on his prey. What was more horrifying was the gun now in his hold pointed directly at you.

“Don’t, Jake, she’s harmless.”

His arms stayed firmly ahead of him holding the weapon. “Harmless my ass, you were about to lose your head,” his fingers wavered.

“Just listen to me.” The guy stood up. You noticed the tattered and beaten up clothes they wore, rips and smears all over each article. Dried blood splattered across parts of their body. Judging by the colour it wasn’t from today.  

The combat boots the two wore made you think twice about setting down your weapon as you remained in your stance.

But their eyes and faces showed different,

They were anxious, in pain, alert like you.

“Idiot.” He dropped his arms. Mumbling before walking towards the other who was now slowly guiding himself down by supporting himself on the tree.

His face was etched with strain. And for a second you felt a pang of regret. You shrugged the feeling away watching the two converse.

“Are you survivors?” you swayed slightly, pressing forward kept your feet stable you regrated the shakiness your voice had, first people you spoke to in a while and you sound like you were about to cry.

“Just barely,” one huffed, “As I said he was about to lose his head.” The one named Jake turned from tending to his friend and shot you a dirty glare.

Jakes eyes were intense and focused, he didn’t flit nor shy away. Pressing further. You subconsciously step back, eyes looking past him and towards his friend.

“I had to protect myself.” You pull your arms downwards stepping out of the position and lowering your guard slightly.

“Mhm, sure.” He muttered. He turned back lifting the others shirt. A long tear in the seamless skin ran down the males side. It wasn’t bleeding, it looked like it was an old scar. Just barely healed.

“You’re, fine,”

“She had, shit, every right to do that.” The other caught his breath then spoke.

“Right.” Jake pressed his lips into a thin line. It looked like he wasn’t having any of that, his jaw clenched, he was stopping himself from speaking any further.

Standing up and walking past you. He glanced at you up and down before moving back to the clearing.

“Sorry about that,” the boy sitting at the bottom of the tree pushed himself to try getting to his feet, you stared cautiously your fingers tingling to help him, so now you were starting to get your humanity back? Where was this feeling a few days ago?

The fliting sound of slipping feet against the rough terrain is what brought your focus back as you moved to assist him. He groaned.

His eyes caught yours, cautious and foreign, was this just the way he looked at people him or was he anxious to be around you.  

“I’ll … uh.” Your hand waivered, before holding his free arm. “I’ll help you.”

“Um… Thanks.” He nodded clenching his jaw he pushed himself up with your help.

“I’m jay.” His lips pressed into a thin line the edges pushing upwards slightly as he nodded, he stayed silent for a second. You figured out this was an introduction a few seconds late, sucking in a quick breath you mumbled.

“Ah i- yeah…. I’m _____ .” your face tensed up. Jay flashed you a lopsided smile.

“Sorry about earlier, I had to make sure you didn’t interfere while Jake finished up with—uh…”

“Were you the—” you paused. How were you going to ask him if he was the one that was chasing you. How do you word that without sounding weird. “the… I was—”

“You mean the gunshots?” he mumbled.

You quickly nodded giving yourself a mini headache at the fast movement.

“No, we were… in the distance, yeah, when we heard the sound. Just me and Jake.” He lead you to the clearing.

You were slowly introduced into the new space, you watched Jake push the body dressed in black to the side. There was someone following you his face hidden beneath the mask.

“Found all this.” He kicked at the floor with his foot. “shit thing is he’s probably a trained assassin.” He nodded towards the pile of weaponry. “All in his bag, some on him,”

Jake stood up facing Jay. “We need to fucking leave, where there’s one there’s always more.” He lifted a few small items. Something that looked like a smaller loaded gun, testing its scope he tucked it into his pocket.

“Here, take that.” He threw a shielded knife at jay and grabbed a larger gun and handed it to the male next to you.

“lets go.” He walked past Jay and farther out.

As Jay turned he caught your eyes, he saw the anxious glimmer, the shiver you tried to hid and the fact that your fingers were digging in to your palm.

“Our chances of survival are bigger…” he stated. It cut you out of the worry trail your brain was starting to follow,

“Together than apart.”

You caught his eyes. Jay was trying to be as friendly as he could, you could see a glimmer of hope, something you lost within the first 3 days.

“Are you-, I’m sorry I’m a bit confused right— shit, I’ll just ask… are you asking me to…”

“You should come with us.” You silently thanked him for putting you out of your misery. Shocked he was asking you this. And relieved to have met people you could somewhat trust.

“What?”

“HEY! Hurry up if you want to fucking live dude!” Jake was already way ahead.

“Gimme a second!” he sighed, calling out.  

“I was wondering if you wanted to join us. That is if you’re not with anyone right now.”

You could almost cry from the surge of relief you felt. It was almost draining the life out of you fending for yourself. And night-time was when it got its worst alone. No more going crazy talking to yourself.

“Yeah, that would be great.” You voiced out, he smirked, hearing your voice so relieved.

“Glad to hear.” He nodded towards the direction they were headed. Leading you further ahead.

“Do you know how to wield a gun?”

You shook your head.

“I’ll teach you don’t worry.”

~~~

(thinking of truning this idea into a fic what do you think?)

Seola - It’s the neo zone © All rights reserved.

[forgottenword]

Nobody asked for this and I literally have other WIPs and I haven’t gotten around to posting ANYTHING. So here’s this.Also this is written not greatly. It’s my first time trying to write out a story, or even a snippet of one, in years. So bear with me, this is going to be a long journey of finding my style and enjoying writing again.ALSO be warned I did not proof read this (and i will mostly likely never be proof reading this) so um please ignore any typos.

WC: 1818

Hotch x Female Reader (Can be seen as platonic or romantic)

It’d been a hard case. But then again, when did you and the team come back and think “Oh, that one was easy.”? It was only around ten in the morning on a Friday when you all got back to Quantico, and while Hotch sent everyone home to rest for the weekend, you watched as he went straight into his office, closing his door behind him. You mentally rolled your eyes at him and instead of following his orders, you turned to follow the boss man.

“Where you going, pretty lady?” Derek called after you when you weren’t joining the team in the elevator. You stood hesitating, holding open the glass door separating the elevator from the bullpen. You didn’t need to say anything, and instead looked back at him and then back to the door of your chief.

“If anyone will get through to him it’s you, my beauty!” Penelope got out right before the slick metallic elevator doors sandwiched together. You took a deep breath, readying yourself for the stubbornness of a Hotchner.

You take a deep breath before you finally step into the bullpen, your go bag slung over your shoulder, letting the glass door swing gently shut behind you. You let your bag drop as you walk by your desk, already feeling ten times lighter, you make your way to Hotch’s office. After climbing the few steps to his office, you brace yourself for the conversation to come.

It’s true, what Penelope said, you’re the only one that’ll be able to pry Hotch from his work. You joined the team not long after Rossi, the two of you immediately bonding after he got over his lone wolf thing. It didn’t take long for you to bond with the rest of the team either, all of them soon taking you under their wing as a new profiler. However, it didn’t go the same with Hotch. Whether that was for the worse or the better, nobody knew. The two of you bickered constantly. He dropped his cold exterior when you were around and he became just a bit more human. The team didn’t know which they liked better, pre-you Hotch or the Hotch he became when you were around. You fought like siblings most of the time. The team used to tease that it was like the two of you were an old married couple, each other’s work spouse’s, but not anymore out of respect for Haley. Everyone noticed the way he’d smirk just slightly after a squabble between you two, before dropping back into unit chief mode.

But ever since that fateful day a few months back.... even you hadn’t been able to get Hotch to smile. He was working himself into the floor most days and was here earlier than he was before. Nobody dared mentioned his change in attitude, and nobody especially mentioned how the rest of the team all knew you had it in you to put the broken pieces of a man back together to get something at least close to the old Hotch back.

You shook your head of all these thoughts, you bring your knuckles to the smooth exterior of the door, and knocked. You stood for a moment, waiting for his signal to come in, but it never came. Your eyebrows creased on your forehead, your worry lines coming through. You knock again, and once again, no answer. You sigh, and take a step to the side, peaking through his office window. You weren’t surprised to find the man slumped over his work, his eyebrows knitted closed together on his face as he quickly fills out form after form on his desk.

“Fuck it,” You mumble to yourself. God, I really need sleep I’m talking to myself now. You crack the door open enough to slip your head in, you clear your throat, hoping to catch the attention of your superior. Luckily, for you, he looked up at the sudden noise that broke the silence of his office.

“Y/l/n, what are you still doing here? I thought I told everyone to take the day.” He looked up at you for what seemed like a millisecond before his eyes drifted back down to his work. You took this as a your queue to take a small step into the room.

“You did sir, but you said everyone, yet you’re still here.” You kept your tone more formal, you haven’t been your usual self since..

He sighed. “Y/l/n, I really don’t have time for your games right now. Now go home and get some rest, that’s an order.” This time he looked up at you, meeting your eye.

“With all due respect sir, I can’t do that until you agree to leave too.” His eyes hardened as you didn’t take his order, you did your best to not let your eye contact waiver. You prepared yourself for this battle with him before coming in, you weren’t going down with a fight. He dropped his pen and straightened up now. “Y/n, I won’t ask again.”

“Then I won’t be refusing again.” Your crossed your arms over your chest, a determined look taking residence on your face. “Y/n, I don’t have time for this.”

“Then I think it’s time we both head out then. Come on you’ve got Jack waiting up on you and here you are-“ Your pestering sentence was interrupted but a much sharper, harsher one. “Don’t you tell me how and when to parent my son y/l/n.”

“Hotch, god no, I didn’t mean to sir. I’m sorry.” You turned to leave, feeling that you’ve overstayed your welcome and that you wouldn’t be getting through to him this time. “I’ll see you Monday, sir.” You were halfway out the door when his voice stopped you, this time much softer.

“Y/n wait.” His voice was apologetic as he leaned back in his chair, fully looking at you. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. These last few months have just been..” He ran a hand over his face, not being able to finish the sentence.

“Oh, Aaron, believe me, I know. I don’t need you to spell it out for me.” You stared at him, locking eyes and an intense feeling filled the air. After what seemed like hours, you cleared your throat. “I didn’t mean to overstep just then, I just want you to take care of yourself too, sir.”

You watched as he seems to crumble under your words. His tough, put-together facade falling. “You’re here for all of us when we need to take a moment to get ourselves together You allow us to confide in you and let us know you’ll stay strong for us when we can’t. You’re allowed to do that same, Aaron.” His eyes were now trained on the desk, his jaw tight as he clenched his teeth. You knew if he let himself relax he might break, and Aaron Hotchner did not let others see him with his walls down.

“Y/n..” If you were surprised by his use of your first name, you didn’t show it. “I don’t know how to be a good father and a good unit chief. I..” His took a shuddering breath. “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” You asked as softly as you could.

“Afraid of failing both Jack and the team.” His voice broke at his son’s name. He seemed to be one word away from allowing his mind to take him.

You’d never heard our chief, my boss, sound so broken and lost. The man whose face is made of stone, unchanging and firm, the man who could weather any storm, the man who beat a man into the floorboards our of anger, grief, and to protect his son, looked like a child, his wall down and his vulnerability shining through. He was like a great oak tree, roots running deep, roots that would keep him grounded no matter what might come at him, but right now he looked as if he might allow the current storm take him. You couldn’t allow that.

“Let’s go home Aaron.” You said ever so softly, taking the smallest of steps towards his desk, as if you were approaching a frightened animal. His eyes snapped to yours at the mention of home, don’t read into that, and he took one last, defeated, sigh.

He just sat there, a little blankly, as you cleaned up his desk. After papers into his briefcase, grabbing old coffee cups to be dropped off in the kitchenette, and turning off his lamp, you turned to him expectantly. He was so lost in thought he wasn’t pulled out of his head until you had his chaired turned towards you and your hand was holding his, pulling gently. You gave him a gentle smile, one that just barely pulled at the corners of your mouth, and squeezed his hand. I’m here.

He allowed you to take him to your car and to drive him to his house where Jess was with a young Jack. You walked him to the door and before knocking you turned towards him. He stared ahead, his eyes fogged over by the heavy thoughts in his head.

“Aaron, go he a dad for the weekend, okay? We’ll manage without you if we get a case.” Your words startled him out of his thoughts, and the ending caused him to have a look you couldn’t decipher on his face, sadness perhaps. “It’s only a few days and Reid can probably give you a statistic on how likely it is we’d actually get called in on our weekend off. Any longer without you and all hell’d break loose.”

Your reassurance made his worry lines lessen slightly before he knocked on the door and was welcomed in by his family. You didn’t miss the way Jess looked from you and Aaron, an unreadable look on her face.

Later that night you stopped by with takeout for the three of them from one of Hotch’s favorite local business, and a batch of your famous chocolate chip cookies. You didn’t leave without giving him another warning to not come in.

*******

You weren’t surprised the next morning to see Hotch coming in, albeit an hour or so later than usual. In lieu, he was surprised to see not only you, but the entire team working at their desks on their Saturday off. He didn’t need to ask why they were there or who was behind it. Instead he just took a moment to stare at the back of your head as you spoke animatedly to Derek and Reid. He got the message loud and clear this time, especially considering you hand wrote “We’re here” largely on a piece of paper and stuck it to his desk.

He smiled to himself. Maybe he wasn’t as alone in this dark world as he thought he was. Maybe he’d found his light.

@winterscaptain