#he deffo gets jelly a couple times

[sleepapparition]

I know this is out of order from my other posts but I’m replaying HS2 and I just found this sweet because there’s so many moments where he reacts to what she’s thinking and trying to calm her doubts. Like she was thinking how he’d accept her for herself and he agrees with a small nod. I wish we had more of a reaction from Vicky, to this but that’s okay.

[bloofer-life]

Why did you want me to be here today?

It's February 16th. Sunday. Our daughter was supposed to be born today.

But I lost her at 20+5. Due to a jelly-like placenta.

So. Because we don't deal with this loss the same way, my boyfriend and I have had quite a long conversation, where he told me that the situation, or I, am so exhausting for him.

To "grant him some relief" , I suggested to stay at my dad's house for a couple of days.

But he said: but I would really want you to be here on February 16th.

Ok. So I don't go to my dad's but stay here at home. I feel touched that he wants me home at the date of birth.

Maybe he plans something sweet? Maybe he wants to take a look at her picture? Maybe he waits until this day to look at her. Oh this would be so sweet and touching.

There it is now. The morning of the expected date of birth... He was at a birthday party the night before, so he is sleeping a bit longer.

We're having breakfast around 11, which was ok. It was kind of a tense mood, but it was ok.

"so what's your plan now?" He asks.

"oh. I need to take the dog out. I want to make it a longer walk, get some fresh air. But other than that... I don't know. You wanna come?"

"ah I'd rather cook my meals for the next 3 days so I am ready when you get back. Then we can Netflix a bit if you want?"

"ok.ehm. yeah, ok."

I took my little nugget out for a walk, he did some meal prep, we watched Netflix.

I wasn't super sad, the days before where worse.

"So around 6 pm my parents will pick me up for dinner. Do you wanna come?"

"no. I said I wasn't gonna like three times."

"oh I just wasn't sure. I thought you might still think about it and decided spontaneously."

"no. I said I deffo wouldn't come."

(his mother's birthday was on February 15th but they weren't home then, so they decided to have a birthday dinner on the 16th. Super sensitive. Unbelievable.)

Ok. He went off to dinner with his family.

I was watching TV. Sad. Feels wrong.

When he came back I asked him:

"sorry, but why exactly did you want me to be here today? On this day?"

"what? What do you mean?"

"you said, you would like me to be here at home today. I wanted to go to my dad's, but you asked me to stay and precisely to be here today."

"I did? I can't remember. But if I did, I probably had a reason then. But I really don't remember."

Wow.

Ok.

Wow.