#he doesn't reply/engage in conversations.. don't speak much.. kind of a silent person.. but there has been times when he was all too good

[ihateitheretaylor]

My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.

[tartaghetti]

unbearable

a haikyuu x reader ficlet

words: 3.01k

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader

warning/s: just pure fluff about to be thrown your way my dude

Tsukishima Kei has never pegged himself as the romantic type. Yamaguchi can confirm. The blond has never read any of those romance novels during his leisure time, he never pays attention to the dramas his mother watches on TV, and he's never thought twice about dating someone.

He's never fallen in love with someone. He thought it was dumb to fall in love, Romeo and Juliet being a good contender as to why love is such a complicating yet stupid thing. He believes that loving someone romantically is a bother, that's why he's never looked at anyone that way. He's merely protecting himself from getting hurt from love because everything that's said in those romance novels are exaggerated, he tells himself.

Tsukishima was content with everything he had as of now. He's okay with focusing on self-improvement, he doesn't need to value or think of other things.

That is until you showed up.

You're a first year manager, alongside Yachi, of the Karasuno Boy's Volleyball Team and Tsukishima immediately deems you as another person to avoid because the first person you got along with was Hinata. Just like with everyone else, he doesn't interact with you that much, and only says what's necessary when he has to talk to you.

Unfortunately for him, he finds out that you're classmates.

Tsukishima doesn't memorize everyone's names in his class, he doesn't feel the need to do that ever. Once classes end, he's immediately off to practice with Yamaguchi, that is unless he's assigned for cleaning time, so he doesn't even remember you right off the bat.

During English class, the teacher picks you to read a passage from the story that you were analyzing. Being fluent in the English language, this didn't bother you at all. So you stand up and begin reading. Everyone's eyes are on you. They've never heard you speak English before, so they're all definitely surprised, especially a certain tall blond a few seats away from you.

'She's eloquent...', he thinks. Of course, that's what anyone would think if they heard you speaking right now. He's staring at you, and he only realizes when he hears the teacher commend you on your English. He's trying to focus on the lesson, but his mind keep coming back to you and your voice. It's lovely, and soothing in a way. He feels his cheeks heat up a little from thinking about you too much. He finally calms down and focuses back on the passage.

As classes end, the blond sees Yamaguchi begging something from you. As he gets closer, he learns that the other boy is asking for English lessons from you. Yamaguchi notices the taller boy and give him a quick greeting before giving his undivided attention back to you.

"Yamaguchi-kun, are you sure you want me to teach you English?"

"Of course, [Y/N]! There's no one else I know who's as insanely good in English as you are!"

"Well, alright. I guess I can teach you English."

"Teach me as well." Tsukishima finally speaks. Almost in sync, Yamaguchi and you whip your head towards the tall boy's direction. You're just as surprised as Yamaguchi is from Tsukishima's sudden and very surprising request. Tsukishima, of all people, is asking for help. He must be having that much trouble in English to ask someone else to help him.

You're the first to break the uncomfortable silence and you agree to teaching the both of them the subject, Tsukishima is forever thankful for you taking the initiative in changing the awkward atmosphere between the three of you.

Over the course of a few weeks, he's warmed up to you. He talks to you a lot more now, and very rarely he actually engages in the conversation first, but those were usually about homework. Thanks to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, you've developed a good amount of confidence in your skills as well. You're much more social than you were before, though that's because of Hinata's influence on you, and you participate in a lot of the class activities, be it extra curricular or just favors from your classmates.

Tsukishima always thought you'd eventually forget about him and Yamaguchi, so he stopped himself from getting too attached to you, but to his surprise, you never said no to Yamaguchi whenever he asked to hang out. Sure, you've made a lot more friends now, and you've gained some popularity as well, but you never strayed too far away from the first friends you've ever made.

Not only are you smart, but you're also incredibly kind and selfless, traits Tsukishima never understood. You'd almost immediately, and sometimes literally, drop whatever you were doing and go and help them with whatever they need assistance with, even if it's a little request like taking the trash out to the garbage bins behind the school. You basically thrived off of helping out, and Tsukishima is beyond intrigued by you.

You see, Tsukishima has never seem himself as selfless. He only does things that benefits him. He'll only agree if something is of use to him. To put it in other words, he's selfish. He's never done things to help others, he'll only do so if necessary, such as group projects. He's never the type to consider actually helping someone out because he just felt like it. If it benefits him, he'll do it, if it doesn't, he won't. Simple as that.

Before Tsukishima's even realized it, he's staring at you as you talk to a classmate of yours. Unfortunately, Yamaguchi notices the boy's lovestruck state and decides to initiate a conversation with him. "Tsukki, you've been staring at [Y/N] a lot," He says, catching the taller boy's attention. Tsukishima's eyes dilate in his sudden approach, his cheeks having a tint of pink, and he glares at his friend.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki, but I'm just surprised how she hasn't noticed just how much you stare at her."

"... Is it really that obvious?"

"To me, it is. To her, it isn't."

Tsukishima groans internally. He didn't even notice that he was staring for so long until Yamaguchi brought it up. No, he will not admit that he was admiring you. Never. He'll get over this, right? This is just a one time thing... right?

Wrong.

He wants to get closer to you now. He wants to interact with you every day. He wishes he sat near you so he could ask for a pencil just so he'd have an excuse to talk to you. He hoped that his heart would stop beating faster whenever you looked at him and smiled. He hoped that his cheeks would stop growing pink whenever you laughed at a corny joke Hinata made. He hoped that his legs wouldn't get wobbly whenever he hears the mere sound of your voice. He hoped things would just go back to normal. But just hoping wouldn't work.

Tsukishima Kei has undoubtedly fallen in love with you.

And he's realized that when he overheard a conversation between you and a male classmate;

"Hey [Y/N]."

You stop erasing on the chalkboard and turn to face him properly. You dust off the chalk dust on your skirt and blouse and reply, "What's up?"

"I was wondering... Could we, you know, meet- uh, meet behind the school later? Before your club activities, of course..." He was clearly blushing, everyone could see that, he was fidgety, and he stuttered a bunch of times. Anyone could already tell where that was going. Except you.

"Oh, of course!" You smile innocently at him, as he smiles back widely. He goes back to his group of friends with a very victorious look you were unable to see. As you turn around, you are met with a pair of familiar pair of eyes, staring you down as if you did something unbelievable.

"[Y/N], what was that about?"

"I don't know, he probably needed help with something. Maybe homework. But he could've just asked me right here, it's not like I would judge him for asking for help. Maybe he's just shy, who knows?"

Yamaguchi face palms at your response, you're even more confused. The green haired boy looks at you in disbelief, and sighs in frustration, "You know what, I'll leave that to you to find out."

Yamaguchi did say he'll leave it to you to find out, but he needed to know how things would turn out. So he dragged Tsukishima along with him, who silently agrees to following you behind the school, despite you telling them that Daichi or Coach Ukai might get mad at them for being late. Yamaguchi, bless his soul, told the two of you that he would take responsibility and would take any punishment that went along with it.

The two boys hid behind the corner of the building, listening closely to your conversation with your classmate.

"Nakamura-kun, why'd you ask to meet me here?" You ask him, clearly not understanding the atmosphere that was around the both of you. Anyone who would catch you there would understand what was happening, but unfortunately, you just couldn't predict what was going to happen.

He stood there for quite a bit, fidgeting, and avoiding eye contact with you. His face seemed all red and you began to worry if he was getting feverish from all this. You take a step forward and he immediately freezes up from you getting close to him.

"Nakamura-kun."

"Y-Yes?!"

"Are you feeling ill? You look red. Maybe you should go to the clinic."

He shakes his head repetitively, saying he wasn't ill and that he really had something to tell you. You nod and wait for him to say it, as you didn't want to make him uncomfortable enough than he already was.

"I... I really like you, [Y/N]!"

"Oh? I like you too, Nakamura-kun."

Yamaguchi face palms. Tsukishima stifles a laugh.

"Really? Then, will you go out with me?"

"Go out? Right now? But I still have club activities." You tilt your head in confusion as he fumbles to find the right words.

"No! Not right now! Maybe on Saturday! Yeah, does that sound good?"

"Oh, perfect, I'm free that day. So which subject are you having trouble on? If it's Math, I can't really help you with that."

Yamaguchi is currently trying to stop Tsukishima and himself from laughing out loud.

"What?" He looks at you, his life draining out of him.

"We're talking about homework, right? Oh! Did I get it wrong? Did you need help with another thing?"

"[Y/N], no. I meant... I meant like go out on a date! Like a romantic date!"

You squint your eyes at him as you process the words in your head. One by one, the cogs in your slow brain finally start moving, and you finally get what he's trying to say.

"Oh, like those dates you see in the movies? I'm sorry, Nakamura-kun, I'm just not the person you should be liking, there are a lot more girls there that will surely make you happy. I'll just make you frustrated, I'm sorry. I really am." You bowed at him politely but he assures you that he doesn't need you to apologize, he just wanted a proper answer from you.

Hearing you say that made Tsukishima's heart drop. You were already aware that you'd make people frustrated with you, and he didn't want you to think that way. He felt a strong desire to change that, but you guys were just friends, he doesn't have a right to change anything about you, he doesn't even have the chance to.

You turn around to see Yamaguchi snickering like a kid and Tsukishima just looking at him with his signature annoyed look. You laugh and them and begin dragging them to the gym, where you were met with an annoyed coach, a concerned Daichi, and very curious players.

Despite having rejected that boy, there were still other people from other classes who tried to woo you with their pick-up lines, but you never really got them, so you just laughed and nodded in hopes of them not getting hurt by you not being able to comprehend any deeper meaning to what they say.

"Does your hand feel heavy, [Y/N]-san?"

"No? I don't think it's possible for a hand to feel heavy?"

"Nevermind."

You tried your best to understand, you really did. You just wanted to keep up with their pick-up lines, but you just couldn't do it. You've never had that kind of experience, so it was hard to understand what they were trying to say.

But without realizing it yourself, you were also beginning to get interested in a certain tall blond classmate. You quickly dismissed these reactions as something everyone can experience, you weren't the only one, of course. Everyone feels this way around Tsukishima. Right? Right?

"[Y/N], I can very much confirm that not everyone feels that way towards Tsukki."

Oh.

"So, your legs don't get wobbly and your heart doesn't beat faster around Tsukishima?"

Yamaguchi laughs and you feel yourself feeling embarrassed as he does so. You give him a light punch on his arm, since you can't reach his head, and cross your arms, a pout present on your face.

"[Y/N], I'm not in love with Tsukki."

In love? Is that what it is?

"I can't be in love. I don't even understand what love is enough to actually feel it." You say, trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince Yamaguchi, who only shrugs at your response.

"If you say so, [Y/N]."

The next few days were weird.

For some godforsaken reason, Yamaguchi had convinced Tsukishima to at least flirt with you a little bit, having learned that the blond was hopelessly in love with you, even though the taller blond told the other that you'll have the same reaction as you did with those other guys that tried to do a pick-up line on you.

The first time he tried to flirt, which was a pick-up line about a highlighter and brightening up his world, it turned into you telling him a story about how you accidentally drank water with highlighter ink thinking it was some kind of juice. He was actually immersed in the story sometimes, teasing you about how you couldn't recognize the color of the highlighter.

The second time he tried to flirt, where Yamaguchi would "accidentally" shove you into Tsukishima, he pushed you too hard and ended with you sitting on top of a very uncomfortable and potentially hurt blond.

The third time he tried to flirt, where he intended on staying close to you a lot, like sitting next to you during study sessions, walking next to you during the walk to the gym, just staying close to you in general, you didn't at all notice because you just thought it was normal for friends to do that, all the while trying to ignore your loudly beating heart.

The fourth and final time he flirted with you, was when you finally confessed to him.

Tsukishima is an observant person, so he's probably noticed your mannerisms around him by now. How your tone of voice changes when you talk to him, and how easilt flustered you get when you talk to him. He thought he had a chance, and he was right.

"I don't really like talking about feelings that much but Yamaguchi told me to tell you everything that I'm feeling. So, here goes nothing, I guess."

You take a deep breath and you suddenly feel as if the ground was shaking. You're terrified, but you have to do this. You've already committed to this. There's no turning back.

"Tsukishima, whenever I look at you, I feel really happy. Your voice makes me feel like I'm on the comfiest pillow in the world. Whenever you do that really cute smirk when you tease Hinata or Kageyama, it makes me laugh a lot. You're weird."

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up, I'm not done yet."

You inhale once more.

"You're really mean to Hinata and Kageyama, and you're also unintentionally mean to a lot of our classmates, but I like that about you. Whenever you offer to help me with Math, I kind of feel sad because I'm supposed to be the one doing all the helping!"

"You don't always have to help-"

"Let me finish! You're actually really nice, you know? I saw you playing with a stray cat the other day and giving it food and it made my heart do flips! You looked really cute. I don't know how to express myself properly, and when I try to, it's word vomit. I want to learn and try to be better for you, I want to know what to do with this slow brain of mine, and I really really want to do all those romantic stuff with you."

You're in the verge of crying, but you quickly wipe away any evidence of you crying.

"I... I think I like you, Tsukishima."

He doesn't say anything and you feel embarrassment creeping up behind you. The air is suffocating and you want to run away, but you legs are stuck to the ground. You feel ashamed in the other's presence, wanting to dig a grave and rot in it.

Then, you feel big arms wrap around your smaller frame, pulling you close to his chest, as he buries his face on your shoulder. He only hugged you for a while, as he isn't that type to prolong skinship.

You clear your throat and break the short silence between the two of you, "I've been meaning to ask. Did you flirt with me earlier?"

"Have been for the past week, but thanks for noticing." He replies almost immediately as you just stand there in shock.

"Oh."

"You're unbearable, [Y/N]."

You look up at him and laugh, punching his chest lightly.

"But you love me."

"Yes, yes I do."

this is my first haikyuu character x reader ficlet so i hope you at least like it a little bit hahahah