#he fucking would and itd be the sweetest thing ever

[pedrito-friskito]

Omg I forgot we were supposed to ask for thoughts lmao I'm dumb ANYWAYS I would love some 🦦 Frankie, maybe his girl stepping up for him and what he feels abt that? Idk I think itd be cute but anyways congrats!!!!!!

omg your asks made me giggle YOU’RE NOT DUMB ♥️

this prompt did something to me so….ENJOY THANK YOUUUUU FOR THE SUBMISSION GIVE ME MORE IF YOU WANT 🥰 I actually enjoyed writing this so much frank castle genuinely lives in my heart and this felt so good

the sweetest thing - frank castle x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of frank’s past, a bit of violence (lol), drinking, a bunch of kissing, absolute FLUFF

✨kay’s 300 follower celebration✨

You knew what he was right from the start. Frank knew that. It made him feel safe, wanted, whole. Everything he’d been missing for so long, all wrapped up and delivered to him in one perfect little package: you.

You, who kissed his scars and didn’t ask questions when he couldn’t handle them, who always seemed to know when he needed to talk about something from his past or when he needed a distraction from a reminder that had caught him off-guard. You, who let him into your home and your bed without a second thought, not afraid of what the world had painted him to be, not worried what your friends might say, not concerned with the repercussions. They didn’t exist, you claimed. What you and him had, that was all that mattered. Nothing else, just you and him.

Frank wakes some days with a ghost on his shoulder, Maria’s voice in his ear and his kids’ laughter echoing through his head. You’ve come to recognize those days, to help him figure out what he needs: distraction or discussion. And you’re patient — fuck, are you ever — coaxing him through what feels like a never-ending darkness until he can feel something again, something besides numb.

Some days, it takes everything in him just to get out of bed, to go through the motions; pour the coffee, put on his work boots, get in the car, drive to the job site. Some days, the only bright spot in the eighteen hours he’s awake is walking through that door, finding you with a smile on your face and open arms just for him.

It’s not always like that, though. Some days, he feels normal. He feels almost like he had before…everything. When he was just Frank Castle, when he wasn’t the Punisher. When his body count wasn’t beginning to look like a phone number. Pushing the cart after you in the grocery store, walking the dog with your hand tucked in his, dragging you to a scary movie just so you’ll hide in his shoulder and let him hold you in the theatre.

Today, has been a strange mix of both.

He woke feeling…okay. Regular day: get up, shower, head downstairs to find you perched on the counter. There’s a fresh cup of coffee in your hand and his too-big t-shirt covering your body, ass sliding off the countertop as he steps into the kitchen, handing him his travel mug and leaning up on your toes for a kiss. Maybe not a regular day, maybe a good day.

Frank hums against your mouth, smiling against your lips when you start to giggle, lifting your arms up to twine them around his neck. God, if you aren’t just the sweetest damn thing.

“I was thinking,” you start, letting your head loll back when he drags his mouth down to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses across your skin and making you giggle more, “we could go to that new restaurant tonight? The one Karen was telling us about?”

“Whatever you want, sweet girl,” Frank replies, a little preoccupied as his hand travels down your back, reaching down to squeeze a handful of cheek and earning a squeal from you. “As long as I get to take you home after.”

“You always get to take me home, Castle,” you quip, running a hand through his hair when he lifts his head to look you in the face. He’s been growing it out — at your request, he might add — and you’re obsessed, touching it whenever you get the chance, giving him shit for how soft it is because, “all you do is shampoo it and it’s like silk! It’s unfair!”

You also claim it’s easier to grab onto when he’s got his face between your legs, but that’s a story for another time.

“I know,” Frank says, tilting his face down so he can kiss you lightly, a smile still on his face. Okay, definitely a good day. You have that effect. “But it’s still nice to hear you say it.”

The next kiss he gives you is a little heavier, an arm wrapped around your waist, lifting you up and against him, free hand squeezing your thigh. He can’t get enough of you, especially when you make this little noise, a satisfied hum that sinks into his chest and goes straight to his heart.

“Okay, okay, you need to go to work, and I need to put on some pants,” you say after a moment, reluctantly pushing at his shoulder until he sets you back on the counter. “Go, before I change my mind and drag you upstairs.”

Frank chuckles, dropping one more kiss to your mouth before gathering his coffee mug and his lunch from the fridge before heading out, calling out an I love you! as he steps out the door. By the time he’s slid into the driver’s seat of his truck, his phone buzzes in his shirt pocket.

I love you too, Castle, and don’t you forget it. ♥️

+

Karen had failed to mention where the restaurant actually was.

All she had to tell you was that there was fresh parmesan on the pasta and you were sold. Frank took a bit more convincing, conceding when there was a mention of sixty different kinds of beers, but it’s not until he’s pulling the truck up to the curb outside the building, that he realizes just where he is, and his heart sinks into his toes.

The carousel.

It’s far off, but it’s there, twinkling in the distance, cleaned of all the remnants of the last time he was there. It feels like a lifetime ago; the scar on his forearm twinges with the memory. But it’s there, and for a brief moment, he’s got half a mind to turn the truck around and drive in the opposite direction until he runs out of road.

But then you put a gentle hand on his arm, making him flinch, and he’s yanked out of the memory, stuck back in his seat next to you. “What is it, baby?” you ask quietly, not phased by the jolt of his body, your thumb swiping over the sleeve of his shirt. Your palm is directly over the scar on his arm, and he wonders if you know that, or if you’re really just that good. “Are you okay?”

Frank feels himself go red, flush crawling up the back of his neck and painting his ears. He drops his eyes to his lap, fingers tangling, and out of the corner of his eye, sees your head cock to the side, brows knitting together. He forces himself to look up after a moment, to turn his head to you.

He feels guilty, instantly. You look so pretty, your hair pulled back in a ponytail just like you know he likes and your lips a soft pink colour that makes his own mouth ache to be on yours. You were so excited when he got home, already half dressed to leave, calling to him from upstairs to come do up the zipper on your dress and get his ass in the shower. 

It’s supposed to be a regular day. A good day. And he’s making it anything but.

“S’the carousel,” he mumbles, jutting his chin in the direction, his gaze flickering from you to the lights to you and then back to his lap again.

You curse under your breath, looking around, squeezing his arm. “Oh. Fuck. Honey, it’s okay, we can go somewhere else. That pizza place, close to home? I know we ate there on Sunday, but it’s your favourite and I—”

Frank leans across the centre console, untangling his fingers so he can cup your cheek in his palm, your skin warm against his and that same satisfied hum reaching his ears when his mouth meets yours. He kisses you enough to keep your lipstick intact, pecking your nose and then your forehead before he pulls back, hand still holding your face, thumb swiping your cheekbone. “No, sweetheart, let’s go.”

He sees it, sees the happiness spread through your features, leaning into his palm for a moment longer before you’re reaching for the door handle and slipping out onto the curb. Frank gets out quickly, rounding the front of the truck and falling into step beside you. You hook your arm around his waist, hand squeezing his hip, and he feels okay again, safe. Wanted. Whole.

Dinner is phenomenal, the both of you eating your fill and stealing bites of the other’s food, laughing and carrying on well into the night. Frank pulls back after a couple beers, but encourages you to have another few drinks if you want — they have some pineapple tequila thing you’re instantly hooked on, and he just wants to treat his lady. Dessert is a piece of red velvet cake that makes you audibly moan, your heel dragging up the front of Frank’s shin as you do, and he just shakes his head at you across the table, watching you lick the icing from your fork.

“You better watch yourself, sweet girl,” he says, his voice low, leaning forward slightly. “Might have to dine and dash if you keep looking at me like that.”

“Hey, I already promised to go home with you tonight,” you laugh, winking at him. “You don’t need to—”

“Holy shit, that’s Frank Castle!”

And there goes the evening.

Frank wants to sink into the leather seat and disappear. He has no idea who the tall, blonde man approaching your table is, but he’s instantly a mix of anxiety, anger, and something that tastes like fear. Confusion ripples through your features, and you curl your fingers around his wrist as the man comes to a stop in front of you.

“Excuse me?” you ask, your voice dripping with annoyance, but the man pays you no mind, crossing his arms over his chest and addressing Frank only. Frank keeps his eyes trained on your face, refusing to look at the man. Just keep looking at you, that’s all he needs to do. Just keep looking at…

“I didn’t think they’d like a criminal like you in a place like this,” the man says, laughing unkindly. The word criminal feels like a hot knife in the back of Frank’s neck, and you must feel him go tense in your grip, because you shoot him a glance, raising a brow slowly. “In fact, I didn’t even think they’d let you walk the streets of this city again, but here I am—”

“Excuse me,” you say again, this time your voice louder. Apparently realizing he’s not going to get a response from Frank, the man finally turns to you. “Can we help you with something?”

“I don’t know, can you?” the man asks, his sarcastic tone only making your face darken. “How can you be with someone like this, huh?”

“Do us a favour,” you say, your voice slow, and Frank watches as you stand from your seat, releasing his wrist only to put both hands on your hips, “and fuck off.” 

The man is incredulous, face going red, and it’s truly a miracle that Frank hasn’t put him on the floor yet, but you’re holding your own just fine. “Don’t you know who he is?” the man continues. “What he did?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you say, volume rising. “You must be new. Oddly enough, it’s considered rude to walk up to random strangers in restaurants and question their life choices, so I’ll say it again, since you apparently didn’t hear me the first time: fuck off.”

People are looking now, turning in their chairs to find the source of the foul language, but Frank barely notices, his eyes trained on your face, gaze unwavering from the way the irritation and anger rolls off of you. The man opens his mouth again, and Frank can’t stifle the smile that pulls at his mouth at your dramatic eye roll, arms crossing over your chest.

“He’s a criminal!” the man shouts, reaching for your arm, and Frank flinches. You must see it, and it all happens so quickly that Frank doesn’t actually realize what’s happening until it’s over, until the man is on the floor, clutching his nose, and you’re shaking out your hand with a grimace.

He taught you how to punch very early on in your relationship. Knowing that you knew how to handle yourself was important to him, and you were a quick (and hot) study. But, in the heat of the moment, you might have forgotten to brace you thumb outside your knuckle rather than in. 

“For the third time,” you wince, gripping your hand, leaning over and staring down at the man, “you can fuck. right. off.”

“Self-defence!” someone from a neighbouring table shouts, and you turn with a grin as Frank gets to his feet. “I saw him reaching for you! Self-defence!”

A few waiters and a woman who he assumes to be the manager are starting to walk towards you, and Frank swipes your purse off the table, tucking it under his arm and reaching for you, helping you step around the now-moaning man on the floor, blood pouring from his nose. One of the waiters hands you ice wrapped in a napkin, and Frank says a low thank you.

“He’ll be covering our meal,” you tell the manager triumphantly, gesturing to the man, and the woman just nods. “It was lovely.”

Frank puts his arm around your waist and leads you out of the restaurant without another word. There’s clapping from a few of the surrounding tables as you depart.

“Are you okay, honey?” you ask as you step out onto the sidewalk. Frank hurries over to the truck, unlocking the door and opening it for you. He helps you into the seat, careful of your hand, your legs hanging over the edge as he steps between them and reaches for your wrist. Your knuckles are a little red, but nothing seems broken. It’ll be sore for a few days, he knows, but he can’t help but lower his head, pressing his lips ever so softly to your fingers before covering your hand with the wrapped ice again.

“You really just punched that guy’s lights out,” Frank says, and there’s almost a laugh in his tone. “That was fucking incredible.”

Your brow pulls down. “Nobody talks about you like that, not around me,” you say. “And that guy was so fucking rude! Who did he think he was, swaggering over like that and calling you a criminal?” You reach up with your good hand, take his chin in your hand, and your nails bite into his cheeks just a little. “You’re not a criminal, Frank Castle.”

He knows that. He knows that, when he looks at you. When he looks at you, he sees everything he can be, not everything he once was. He sees a future, bright and shiny like stars in the sky. He sees all the love and life that was ripped from him so terribly, but made new again, a celebration of what he had.

He’s been in love with you for a long time, and he knows just how much you love him. But that? Seeing you stand up for him without missing a beat? Standing up for what the two of you have, regardless of what might come after? Being his own personal superhero?

Well, fuck, that just seals the deal.

He’s glad you punch with your right hand, because it makes it all the easier for him to reach into his pocket, to pull out the diamond ring he bought not two weeks after he met you. When you know, you know, and Frank’s known for a long time.

Your jaw drops when he holds up the ring, silver glinting between his fingers. He watches the tears make your eyes go sparkly, even more so than the diamond as he takes your left hand, slides the ring onto your finger, and says, “Marry me, sweet girl.”

You nod, all but screaming yes! and throwing your arms around his neck, ice flying across the sidewalk, crushing him to you and kissing him so hard he can taste the tequila on your tongue. You’re both smiling and beaming and Frank feels…good. Not okay, not regular. But good. Amazing, even.

And maybe it’s unceremonious, stood at his truck on the curb outside of a restaurant you just caused a scene in, but Frank doesn’t care. It’s you, and you’re his, so it’s perfect.

—————

frank taglist: @saintmurd0ck @moonlarking @mindidjarin @freshabogados @steadyasthe-flowers @whosfrankie @ancientbeing10 @currentobsessionrabbithole @grounderprincesslookspissed

I have a taglist! if you’d like to be tagged in future works, please fill out this form!💕

[lavendertales]

The only thing ive been thinking is making chocolate fondue with oberyn because a) chocolate covered fruit?? Fuck yeah b) you just know itd get dirty

What I’m about to describe better match the images in my head because PHEW *candy shop playing in the background*

Also this is filled with tension and smutty innuendos, so proceed with caution!

gif: @joekeerys

You explained the concept of making chocolate fondue to Oberyn barely once before he agreed to join you in preparing it. What was there to be refused? Fruits, chocolate and you? Heavens no. That was a recipe that had his name written all over it.

Everything was procured by evening: the fruits, the chocolate and, of course, the pottery instrument which would serve as the fondue maker. You made sure to have the kitchen all to yourself, which meant after hours. You wanted no interruptions: Oberyn’s cravings were nowhere near being limited to food.

He walked slowly towards you right from the second he entered the kitchen, strutting in his signature way. His nostrils already detected the familiar scent of chocolate in the air, and his senses woke within him. His skin itched and burned at the same time, and the more he approached you, the more he realized that had nothing to do with the goodies being prepared anymore.

“What do we have here?” he asked, not even glancing on the table.

“The chocolate is melted, most of it, anyway, and the - fruits are here.”

You often tended to forget yourself and your words whenever Oberyn stared at you in that strong, unforgiving gaze which simply let you know he could have anything he wanted. And of course you succumbed each and every time.

Oberyn leaned slightly, dipping his little finger into the bowl and teasingly sucked on it after, not once breaking eye contact with you. You gulped, feeling your heart race. You knew what you were getting yourself into with him, but also you didn’t. Every moment with him was an adventure.

“See what a bit of heat does even to the sweetest things?” he murmured near your earlobe. “Turns them into putty.”

You held your breath and said nothing to him, but rather focused on the fruits displayed on the table.

“Why don’t you, uh - melt the rest of the chocolate over there, my prince, and I - I start dipping the fruit?”

He bowed his head and lit the fire beneath the bowl, eyes carefully watching as the chocolate he placed began to melt. Your eyes were fixated on his every gesture, barely watching where you were dipping the strawberries, or even if you did. Oberyn was mesmerizing with every single thing he did, and he managed to cast a spell so powerful on you that sometimes you wondered if it was all a feverish dream of some sort.

“Careful, my love,” he drew attention to your clothes.

You managed to spill some chocolate over you, just as you grudgingly thought you might. Not only that, but the sweet sauce was dripping over your chin and neck as well. You searched for a napkin, but Oberyn’s hand caught your wrist and pulled you to him, a naughty smirk from his lips.

“Let me,” was all he said.

There was absolutely nothing that could have prepared you for the feeling of Oberyn’s tongue gliding up your neck and your jaw, licking any remnant of chocolate you spilled. You suppressed a moan as he held you steadily and carefully in place by the hand, and you tilted your head ever so slightly to allow him more access, which naturally, pleased him immensely.

He gently peppered your neck with kisses, slow and soft, and one of your hands sneaked its way onto his charcoal locks, your mouth agape.

“Does that feel good, my love?” he asked right in your ear.

“Yes,” you barely breathed with a nod.

He stopped only to reach for a strawberry, dip it into the chocolate and lead it to your mouth. You opened it instinctively and took a bite out of the fruit, the sweetness invading your mouth in a split second.

“Take it all.”

You obeyed as you always did, and took the rest of the strawberry, munching on it diligently under Oberyn’s pleased glare. You returned the favor and offered him another one, this time purposefully letting a moan escape your throat when Oberyn took your index in his mouth as well, teasing it with his tongue to the point where you felt your entire body burn.

“Why don’t we take the rest of this to a more private area, my love?” he proposed afterwards. “I have a much better use to those chocolate-covered fruits.”

You smirked as well, the prospect making you tingly on the inside.

“Yes, my prince.

[cilliankelly]

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace 

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it. 

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really.  not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

[crybabiegeeks]

Just got sent one of those questionnaires that are just an excuse to talk about yourself but fuck it.

1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?

The first one that I can remember would be a guy called Liam in year three but I’m sure there were people before that. I’m pretty sure it was because of some silly shit like he was sporty and played soccer hahaha

2. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life?

Every time I think of my number one regret there’s one memory that comes to mind. I’m going to hide some details because it’s too embarrassing to tell truthfully on here. When I was fifteen I was drinking in a park with friends and then did mdma. I ended up hooking up with a really SHIT guy, like honestly one of the worst people I will ever meet. It went further than that and the whole night was a complete mess I’ve never experienced again the feelings I had on that night I think its the most unsafe and anxious I’ve ever felt, being alone and drugged up with this psychotic douche bag in a park at three AM. I later found out while coming down that the dickhead had a girlfriend, not only that but his bestfriend was in love with me which caused me and him to lose our friendship. I didnt know at the time that the friend’s feelings for me were so strong and what I did really hurt him.

3. Which parent do you identify with the most?

Definitely my mum. The similarities I see between me and my dad scare me.

4. What do you think you cook or bake the best?

My pasta bake changes lives

5. If you could change your first name what would it be?

When I was a kid i always wanted to be called Lilly, I couldn’t decide now though.

6. Can you hula hoop?

Only on my arm

7. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people?

When I get loud and obnoxious without realising it

8. Have you considered running for president?

God no im a mess

9. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why?

I hate being asked what my passions are. I feel like if you dont play a music or a sport then youre just basic. I dont read heaps or get into politics or anything like that. I guess it’d be music and films but isn’t that everyone?

10. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

I’ve never thought about this before, I dont know how Im meant to pick one person because im pretty much jealous of everyone

11. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why?

This isnt the most beautiful place on earth because I have no way of knowing where that is, but my favourite spot in the world is on this rock me and my sister discovered as kids. Its near my house down on the water. Sitting there at sunset is so incredibly beautiful.

12. Are ghosts real?

Hope not

13. Are aliens real?

Hope so

14. How old is the most expired item in your fridge?

Dont think anything in there would be

15. What are your favorite style of underwear?

Lace cheeky ones

16. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard?

Off the top of my head Id say let down by radiohead

17. How about the sweetest song?

Falling slowly from the Once soundtrack

18. Do you know how to play dominoes?

Yep

19. What’s under your bed?

My box of memories from highschool

20. Have you ever prank called someone?

Yess

21. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths?

SLOTHS what kind of question is this

22. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now?

I think relatively, i finally feel like im on track with what i want to do with my life. I wish that i had a connection with someone at the moment but theres not much you can do about that hey

23. Why or why not?

I explained already

24. How many bones have you broken?

surprisingly none, torn my acl and meniscus twice however

25. Have you ever won anything? Big or small?

nothing more than concert tickets

26. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be?

first thing that came to mind was air pods

27. What’s your favorite movie from your childhood?

twilight, i dont know why but i can watch it over and over again

28. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat?

vegemite

29. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day?

Cigarette, cuddles, and a movie in bed

30. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before?

Not that I can think of

31. Would you ever adopt a child?

Definitely

32. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try

Skateboarding haha im so uncoordinated though and itd be extremely embarassing if i just started

33. If you were a cake which cake would you be?

id like to think a red velvet cupcake

34. What is the most important material possession you have and why?

My box of memories think the reason is a given

35. What is the most important memory you have and why?

I cant think of any big good memories that have had huge impacts on my life its mostly the bad ones that have. But thinking about it now, Im doing what i want to be doing and im relatively happy so they cant have been to bad hey

36. When was the last time you cried?

On saturday night, I was talking to my bestfriend about his mum who recently passed away.

37. How old was your mother when she had you?

thirty

38. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with?

tom holland

39. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did?

to my step sister for not trusting her, i still dont know what really happened but i wish i stuck by her i couldve made a difference in her life.

[karak9]

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing

[spintherecord]

10 and 21 for the crush ask uwu ?

10. Sweetest thing they’ve done for you?: this is gonna sound so fucking dumb but he went out of his way to ask me about my gender identity & my pronouns like i had mentioned that i preferred they/them & that was one of the reasons he didn’t want to approach me bc he kinda assumed i wasn’t straight (which i can’t blame him 4 like it was a sweet action) but he like asked me about my identity & what he should call me if we ever dated (my heart SWOONED when he brought up the possibility) and was just super respectful w everything related to the fact that i’m nonbinary & ive never really had that before w someone who was interested in me

21. What would an ideal date with them be?: honestly im a dumb bitch & my ideal date doesn’t really exist bc i just like to stay in & do nothing special w the other person there but having finally gone on a date w someone id really love to go 2 a museum w him i feel like itd be really nice and sweet and probably filled with pda bc we’re grossthank u so much for asking!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about this man so bless u for asking!!!!

[flippinoptimist]

> Vel / Sawbones, pt 1

[theday]

hide and seek, fireworks, my style, coloured, your love, dream might (romantic or platonic? i love options), i'll be there, because it's you ((((:, you smile, with you, and better with you!!!!

thank you so much for aksing falen i love these and it also got super long lmao rip

Hide & Seek: what’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone new?

in real life, its probably their shoes/socks?????? LMAO and then their appearance but im trying 2 not let their appearance stop me from becoming friends with them :-o

online, i usually??? read ppl’s abouts first???? but idk like when it comes to actually talking to them i guess itd be their typing style?? and their use of emojis/the gif function (jenny) helps me to assess them although i do know that the way they type =/= how they are as a person but thats just what i notice first

Fireworks: name something astro’s done that has made your heart explode

falen u rly had 2 do it to me? ????? but hrm…. whenever they post selcas and when they just laugh every time myungjun laughs thats the shit that gets me the most bc its so/???? pur??e??? i love them a lot theyre always so happie and theyre all smiles every time they do a vlive it makes me happie

My Style: what do you usually wear out?

clothes not 2 sound like a loner but. i rarely go outside bc i only go outside when my family eat out and thats only on like weekends and if im hanging out with pals so i always get the chance to wear the same shirt, shorts and shoes lmao 

but its a black cat shirt (used to be a button up thing but singapore is 2 hot 4 me) and blue shorts and white converse 

Coloured: favourite MV aesthetic? 

ok real talk all of their mvs are so pretty and everything??? but my favourite has to be baby or csc

Your Love: top three astro songs

o w0rm

again

confession

every minute 

Dream Night: describe a dream date with anyone

idk?? smth ive always wanted 2 do with anyone is just walk through a park or just walk when the weather is not 2 hot or 2 cold (ike what binuki did in their recent vlive) 

if we’re getting more romantic mayb just??? cuddling???? idk i rly cant see this happening tbh 

I’ll Be There: fave astro vlive you’d watch over and over again?

but theres so many :-( but possibly all of eunwoo’s just 10 minutes with binnie :-0 the shrek vlive with the ice cream made me laugh so hard though mmMM

Because It’s You: why do you love your astro bias?

ur rly gna make me do all 6 members falen??????? ill try 2 keep it short

myungjun; binnie said he was sure mj wouldnt make it into astro and im assuming its because he was the one who was a trainee the shortest but??? look at him now with his strong vocals and even stronger personality!!! astro mightve done fine without mj but listen.. their vlives, appearance on variety shows, etc. would never be able to be as funny because mj is the reason for everyones laughter and it makes me so happy??? mj has that ability to crack anybody up with his laugh and the shit he says and does is so funny too pleaseth and i just?? appreciate mj for being there so fucking  much because he really resolves any tension in the atmosphere so easily and as the oldest member im so glad to see he doesnt find anything awkward AND despite the age gap between him and sanha, theyre like the closest?? lets not forget on that one radio thing yesterday they (astro) were asked who they were most comfy with in the dorm and 3/5 answered myungjun :_) im just happy myungjun exists? thank u mj i love u mister 777

PARK JINWOO; jinjin is the one of the sweetest leaders out there and i know every group has a great leader but jinjin is really that leader to me because as the rest of astro have mentioned before, jinwoo really buys them shit and they have said that he is the sweetest?? remember in the fan made fanmeeting i dont know what its called but i linked it and just??? jinjin is literally an angel!!! the one vlive he did with dogs? my heart melted off!!!!!! he really went and learnt the names of all the dogs present in the dog cafe!!!! he stopped the black dog which was biting hard on the table bc he was scared it’d injure itself/get in trouble and just??? jinwoo is so fucking nice just ??? if u look in the dictionary park jinwoo will appear as a synonym believe me ok and jinjin is part of dance line everybody lets not forget that he dances to release stress and that amaizng intro to again he did with rocky for their dream pt2 showcase because that was fucking so ?? i love talent and! AND i will never shut up but as a leader jinwoo takes care of his members so much and he also knows how to have fun with them and he jsut!!!!! i love him a lot

cha! eu! nwoo! (dongmin); i know 4 a fact that this will get so long lmao rip but first i just wanted to say that i am so proud of dongmin and how far he has come as a dancer and vocalist in astro ok so obviously i dont know the real hard facts tm and i can never tell the difference in anything so i dont know how accurate i really am but last year (and even now) i know eunwoo had a lot of personal schedules and he barely had time to practice? ?? i really dont know but im p sure that was it???? idk but dongmin has had to work so hard the whole of last year with the amount of comebacks astro did and i jus??? im so proud of eunwoo for being able to work hard for astro and still attend all those other schedules at the same time??? like i said idk how much time he did have/didnt have but i know it mustve been little with how late it would be whenever he arrived back at the dorm after his stuff and??? eunwoo had to practice his lines and the dance (astro’s choreography looks hard as shit and its tiring too) in time for their comeback promotions ??? and!! dongmin used to be that member (now its all of astro) who would constantly do vlives for arohas and lets not forget his just one 10 minutes where he would do vlives that were always over 10 minutes where he just talks to fans im eternally grateful for all the work dongmin puts in for astro and arohas and im sure he puts in more than 100% effort when it comes to his personal schedules too!!!! dongmin deserves the best and ive seen someone say b4 that he’d probably feel bad if he had more lines bc he was already “stealing” the spotlight by being a “face genius” and i just!! youre righ??t???? eunwoo is incredibly selfless and its easy 2 assume these kinda things tbh lee dongmin is so much more than his face and visuals he is a hardworker and!!! he loves his members and fans so damn much im !!! i love eunwoo so much i hope he knows how much we love him 

binnie; god with bin there isnt somethiing that made me love him??? all he did was go :) and my brain decided i was gonna love him forever ok but……hrm….. i guess i love him because hes such a dork?? like. .. when he laughs he just snorts and its so funny lmao i believe bin’s a good friend too well no shit ?? uMMm moon bin has a cute smile yall…… whenever he smiles my heart explodes hes just that powerful and also!!! bin has been a trainee for 7 years now and im just !! he made it!! like what the post i reblogged earlier said, he probably had other dreams but he still stuck with being an idol ??? in the end and that !!! im sad he didnt get to pursue the things he couldve liked better but im also happy hes managed to find a dream he likes and that hes basically living the dream right now??? and im so happy for him because 7 years may not be a lot to some but bin’s still young his childhood was basically training??? im just!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of him and now hes on the same kind of music shows his faves are on too nd it makes me rly proud (idk any other words my vocabulary is so fucking weak oh my god) he is having the time of his life with astro and arohas right now im so glad i forgot what i wanted 2 say im sorry bin i did u dirty im2 tense rn but i love u and i love bin bc of how much hes done and the amt of scarifies he has 2 have made in order 2 get 2 where he is tdy 

rocky swag (minhyuk); minhyuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him because !! hes so awkward but he tries his best for arohas!!!!!!!!!! in that first vlive he did alone he was so nervous but he managed to warm up and in the next vlive he did alone he did something that he was comfortable with (dance) and im glad he’s able to do vlives normally now even if there isnt any recent solo vlives i can see how much more comfortable he is on vlive now !!!!!! my love for minhyuk is similar to bin’s bc all he did was smile and suddenly????? im in love???? its the swag lmao but seriousy tho after finding out rocky did all sorts of dance i found him really??? respectable??? because he was able to learn so many types of dance and isnt that the coolest thing ever???? lets not forget how well he can sing???? im happy and so proud (jesus) that he sang on the recent album since previously he said that he didnt hvae any plans of singing in the albums so!!!! now!! hes singing!!!!!!!!!!! although the songs dont do him justice tbh its ok we all know how lovely he sounds when he sings especially in the binuki vlive where he sang wyls i swer my ear drums were blessed?? park minhyuk can do anything get urself a legend like rocky so basiclaly i love rocky aka park minhyuk bc hes just!!!!! outstanding???? hes handsome, he can dance really fucking well, he can sing and rap !!!!!!!!!!!!! and?? hes just a fool??? he’s warming up to doing vlives and just being himself and its the greatest thing ever i love him a lot

sanha; YOON SANHA!!!!!!!!! Love of my LIFE the baby i will protect for the rest of my LIFe??????? he is DAT boi .. the boy i love so much with my whole heart!! sanha is so cute and he just!! hes always making fun and bullying the older members i love it so much but ofc everyones weak 4 sanha bc b*tch is 2 cute honestly can relate if sanha punched or stole my money ill let him off bc hes just that cute . lets not forget he learnt how 2 play the guitar all by himslef jae is shaking ok and sanha is such a nice voice?????? every time he screams i lose my hearing its ok id do anything 4 this boy???? and to think hes only (1) year older than me is kinda??? wowie???? sanha is rly out here being a superstar and a student @ the same time and hes doing an awesome job @ being amazing !!! sanha is so cute and just?????? he loves his other members and family so much i love sanha a lot and i hope nobody will ever make him cry (sad tears) bc i will personally go to that person and we’ll have a nice chat :-) i cant think of anything atm but sh loves arohas so much and hes always doing aegyo 4 us idk its just . … thakn u young prince

You Smile: name three things that have made you smile in the past week

ok easy

mx comeback

daily astro vlives (its okay if they dont do vlives everyday they have 2 rESt)

becoming friends with lovely mbbs :_) 

with you: talk about a mutual without using their name

how long is this answer gonna be oh w0rm.. but here we go this is abt someone who ive never talked about but do talk 2 p often and theyre the other online person i am most comfortable with talking 2!!!!! 

theyre great tbh and rly good @ art and i know theyve gone through so many shit things in their life but im so glad theyre still hanging on even if their sleep schedule is totally wack still love u tho lmao at least theyre getting more than enough sleep!! theyre cute when they see sanha and it makes me soft seeing them go soft bc theyre never that warm??? when it comes 2 other ppl (kihyun crying) and im just so glad i managed to help them get (further) into astro!! being able to talk to somebody about astro has helped me so much and then i became friends with jen but im still so thankful to have a friend like [redacted] and im happy we’re friends!!!!!!!! i love them so much and i hope their days are filled with happiness even if it doesnt last for long i hope they have at least (1) happy time each day bc they deserve the BEST!!!!!!!!!!! 

even when i was still a young myday they helped me by providing links and everything just telling me where everything was and i was so :_) bc!!! they !! a bigger account was helping me someone who didnt even have 20 followers at that time and without them i wouldve never found anything tbh!!! even now when im the one whos been into astro longer, they still manage to find things so much faster than me and imlike?????? wow thats amaizng???? theyre amazing and i appreciate their presence on my tl/dash and in my dms so much thats one of the reasons why i thought they were older bc of how mature and just?? the older vibe they gave off was strong with they way they help people and whenever they comment on my tweets or someone else’s tweets im like !!!!!!!!! you’re doing amazing sweetie 

theyre so easy to talk to and even though our humor was something i thought was very different we manage to make each other laugh so much and i jsut!!! happiness!!!!!!! 

ok this was abt bell and i dnt think they’ll ever see this but if u do i love u a lot bell thank u for being alive ur so funnie and cute just thank u so mch!!! for everything

better with you: your favourite memory related to astro?

every time i watch them on vlive live i get so happy and thats my favourite memory