#he wants to be a guitarist in a band but he wouldn't make enough money if he did that

[sunflowerik]

he left before she could say anything..

[betweenthejawsoffate]

I Will Shelter You All the Same (Sleep Token IV/Band)

IV hasn't been in the band long, only a few months, but a few things he knew for sure. 

Sleep was real

He was replaceable 

There was something most definitely going on between his bandmates

Read on AO3 here or below

He was well aware there were many before him, and even more aware that he wouldn't be the last. Though in the back of his mind he had always hoped that he would be. They had assured him many times that he was “their Ivy” the last. But isn't that what they said about the previous fours? 

The position seemed to be cursed with a revolving door of guitarists, while the core main three had always remained strong and steadfast. Not only bonded by their position in the band, or their servanthood towards Sleep, but also a deep personal connection. When IV had first moved into the manor they had hid most of it from him; but he was not dumb. Years of observing in the shadows had made him quiet and meek but not unobserving. Soft touches that lasted a little too long, quiet feet padding to the others rooms late at night. That and the fact that III was not a quiet man in any sense of the word, and it seems in many regards. 

IV was sitting on his bed reviewing some tabs when he first heard THAT, muffled through the manor walls but distinct nevertheless. At first he wasn't sure what the gentle knocking at the wall was, a constant and on time. He had almost confused it for II practicing keeping time, as if he would need practice of such a basic skill. Putting the tabs down he leaned into the wall to listen a bit closer. A high pitched whine soon followed the steady beat. IV launched himself away from the wall, his hand meeting his mouth to cover the sound of surprise. He knew the others were close, sure. He even suspected some sort of romantic entanglement between Vessel and II. But the whine was so clearly III and that wall was the one he shared with II. The steady beat began to change in tempo, the sound more clearly heard through the shared wall. The sound increasing, IV frantically began to search through the boxes that still littered his room for his head phones. Putting them tightly over his head, turning the volume as much higher then was probably safe for his ears; IV laid back down onto his bed tabs long forgotten. 

The next morning was quieter than normal. II typically  was up making tea in the kitchen but clearly he had been occupied the night before and had not surfaced. So instead IV set to work warming the kettle, pulling out each of their respective mugs before scanning the fridge for something to make for breakfast. It was fairly empty, a few eggs left over from III’s attempt of baking last week and some thick cut bacon Ves & him had picked up at the local markets; it was enough to make a meal for this morning at least. He got to quick work whisking up the eggs falling deep into thought at the repetitive behavior. 

IV didn't want the others to feel like they had to hide whatever was going on from him. It was clear that their affections went further than long term bandmates, but whatever that was he wasn't sure. If you had asked him yesterday morning he would have bet money on II & Ves being a thing, but this thing with III? He wasn't sure how that played out. IV had been in many bands before Sleep Token and none of them had… slept together the way this one seems to do. Not that he saw anything wrong with that, IV had a gay cousin or two back in his old life. He didn't see anything wrong with that aspect of his band mates relationship, was that what it was? He wasn't sure. IV let out a soft sign at the thought of that, no need to dwell on the past now, especially when his future still felt so up in the air. 

“Morning IV” came out a quiet hum from behind him.

IV had never been so thankful for the cloth masks that Vessel had insisted they wore then he was right now. A dark red blush slashed his face, ran down to his chest, running so warm he swore if II was just a little closer he would have felt it through the fabric. 

Of course he knew it was II that had kept III company the previous night, with his room having the shared wall and the normally early riser absent from his normal morning breakfast duties, it made sense. But logistically knowing this and facing the cause of the sounds he had heard last tonight were too different things entirely. The thump of the bed hitting IV’s wall, the repetitive high pitched whines that quickly became too loud for even headphones to muffle out, and oh god the memory of words shared between the two- IV had to stop he should not be thinking about his band mates like that. 

II moved to the collection of mugs IV had set on the counter earlier that morning, quietly inspecting the content of each. 

“Ves likes one sugar not two” II offhandedly corrected quickly, fishing out the extra cube, throwing it into III’s mug before moving to pour the boiling kettle. 

“Oh” IV simply answered, of course he knew that he was the one that often made their afternoon teas. But it seemed that all common sense had flown out the window this morning; all IV could think about was avoiding the gaze of II just a mere feet away from him. 

Get yourself together. Whatever happened last night was no different then the times in Uni when he had walked in on his roommate or the times on tour with his previous band; when the long weeks away from home would finally catch up on them. It was more common than you would think, to accidentally hear a fellow bandmate late at night going for a covert wank. He had never been this awkward about it then so why was this bothering him so much now?

II eyed IV carefully, “You alright IV?” This time II’s voice was much clearer and closer. 

Pulled from his thoughts IV yanked his head up and back looking straight at his band mate now standing just behind him. 

“Of course II” he added a little laugh at the end 

“Not much of a morning person thats all” It wasn't necessarily a lie, but II had a way of seeing past his band mates bullshit better then anyone else. 

II watched him closely, taking in the details on what very little of his face was visible behind their masks. Squinting his eyes slightly, before giving a small sign and gesturing to the spatula in IV hand. 

“Hand it over, your burning the eggs” 

IV didn't argue quickly, giving up the job to the admittedly, much better cook.

Pouring his and II teas in the meantime before settling down at the table. A calm silence filled the kitchen. 

The smell of food brought the others down. Vessel first, entering the kitchen pulling the arms of his hoodie over his hands, making a beeline straight for the mugs still resting on the kitchen counter before joining IV at the table without a single word. It was best to let him decide when to be perceived in the mornings, he was often up late composing or on rather tough evenings kept awake by dreams from Sleep. They all sat in a comfortable silence as II finished cooking up their meager breakfast, plating portions for each of them. They didn't wait for III as they began their meal together, he was usually the last of them to get up but typically the smell of food and the light morning chatter would drag him out of bed. They had barely begun when the distinct steps of III bouncing down the hallway stairs could be heard from the kitchen. III bursting into the kitchen, hand reaching for the grab the back of II then Vessel chairs leaning down to kiss their respective checks. 

This type of affection wasn't uncommon from III, he was a touchy guy often including IV both on and off stage. But with the memory still fresh in IV’s brain, it began to feel different. If it was just a platonic peak, why hadn't III also kissed his cheek? A strange feeling began to tangle itself in his chest, sneaking up his throat. It was a stupid thought in the first place, why would III want too? He was IV, not Vessel or II. He was there to play guitar and help around the house until he had run his usefulness dry and adventally when he had, they would replace him with another. Just like his previous bands had, just how his ex had, and just as Sleep Token had done before with the other IV’s. He didn't want to think why he wanted III to include him in these moments of intimacy like he did with the others but the thought had been creeping up on him for weeks. All coming to a head with the stupid sounds he heard the night prior. Fuck he couldnt stop thinking about them. 

II watched IV carefully from the other side of the table, while IV had been known to be quiet he was unusually so. Two hands gripping his mug taking slow sips of his tea, meal left untouched with a far away look in his eyes. II knew something was up, and he feared he knew exactly what was on the other man's mind. Turning his attention to III and Vessel he saw the two in a heated discussion about III recent outfit choices during the rituals. III always wanted to express himself more on stage while Vessel wanted little to distract the audience from their worship. An argument that they had had nearly once a week for months. Neither seem to be picking up on the shifting energy coming from their newest guitarist. 

They had been less and less discrete with their relationship as of recently. Testing the waters to see how IV would handle it. Maybe that had been a mistake? He had been respectful so far, not making comments about their flirty comments to each other or how sometimes their actions would push a little past plutonic. But it had been so long since II had been able to be open with his affection to his partners, he had begun to feel pent up. That and the constant teasing from III the previous night had come to a head, and while he relished being with one of his partners again. He also knew they had been careless. IV had clearly heard them; what else would explain the sudden change of personality. Gods, IV wouldn't even look at him. II turned back towards IV when he heard the scratch of their old kitchen chair sliding back. He watched the small man dump the remainder of his tea in the sink, pushing his untouched meal onto III’s plate before silently disappearing through the kitchen door. Vessel stared after him in confusion, half rising out of the chair before II had ushered him back down into his seat. 

“Give him some time, Ves.” A deep look of confusion covered Vessel’s face at II’s words. 

“III spent the night with me last night, things..” 

he paused a second trying to find the right words to explain to the first without making him feel left out.

 “...got a bit carried away. We share a wall…” ending the sentence with a little twist of his wrist hoping he understood what he was getting at. 

“Oh. I see.” Vessel simply said.

It was III who quickly butt in next. Hugging Vessel from behind and nuzzling his check into his neck. “I’m sorry baby, it wasn't like that. I know we said we would step back from those sort of things while IV got more acquainted with us, but it just kinda happened.”

Lifting his hand up to III’s check gently rubbing it Vessel shook his head slightly.

“I’m not mad or upset at you guys. I’m glad you had some time together, it's been too long. I’m just worried it's too soon. Fore was so upset with us when he left and IV has just finished learning the songs. We don't have time to find another replacement before tour.”

Surprisingly it was III that took a scolding tone, “Don’t talk like that Ves. We don't know what he heard and he didn't say anything this morning, right?” Vessel hummed uncommitted in his  response, turning slightly to catch III lips with his own seeking physical comfort from his partner. 

Pulling away after a few moments III continued, “Plus it’s IV, our Ivy. This is not like the others and you know it. Sleep is pleased with this addition Vessel, She wants him here as much as we all do. I can feel it; he belongs here, he belongs with us.”

 Vessel was not used to III chastising him in this manner, he was right of course this IV was different then the rest. It was an immediate connection they all had felt. It was the same feeling as when III had joined him and II. It was that connection that scared Vessel, they could not lose this IV like the others. They had to play it slow and safe. 

 Leaving the kitchen IV went straight to his room, kicking aside dirty clothes and half filled boxes in search of his gym trainers. A walk he had decided was what he needed to clear his mind. Get out of the house away from the boys, the stale air of the manor, and the never ending confusion he had been drowning in the past 12 hours. It didn't take long to find them, sitting on top of a box in a far corner of his room. Slipping them on he began quietly down the stairs towards the kitchen; with the intention of letting them know he was going for a run.

It was Vessel’s voice he heard first- “... IV has just finished learning the songs”

Were they talking about him? IV paused at the door listening for a moment longer. 

“We don’t have time to find another replacement before tour”. 

The breath caught in IV’s throat, he knew it. He fucking knew it. Stuffing his headphone into his ears, he shuffled out the door. He wasn't going to stand there and listen to what he knew was already true. He was replaceable. He had to try harder. No wonder they hid their soft touches from him, He was not worthy. 

Turning down their street IV begun to run.

[thisisbeyond]

Beyond's Words Before Returning from Japan

Ka Kui's Rock and Roll

Time: 10th May 1993 Place: Beyond's Band Room People: Beyond's Members: Wong Ka Kui, Wong Ka Keung, Yip Sai Wing, Wong Koon Chung Q: Why did the four of you play together in a band?

Ka Kui: Till today we don't know the answer, we believe it is fate. Character is the most important, everyone needs to unconditionally respect each other, be willing to sacrifice, wholeheartedly for the band play for the band, cannot calculate that the band can bring about what benefits for yourself. Actually before playing together each of us had our own band, at that time each was playing in several bands. Ka Keung and I joined with Tai Chi's Joey, Gary and Ricky to form Laser Band, usually practiced little, there was somebody who gave us money and said we were talented. At that time at Mark I Studio, we practiced till perfect, but recieved little money. Playing 30 songs we only got a thousand dollars, and that wasn't enough for the rent. Paul's band Stone was even more pitiful, at the municipal council party played on the truck, initially it was to be four hundred dollars, afterwards somebody pushed down the price, recieved three hundred and fifty dollars.

Beyond formed in 83, in 84 Wing joined, Paul was the latest, joining in 85. At that time they did not know Paul could play guitar, only knew he had long hair, and liked to listen to music. He designed the concert poster for us. Before the concert one member decided to go overseas to study. At that time, we found out Paul was a guitarist, and after playing with us, asked him to join.

Q: Outsiders say you are an underground band, do you agree or disagree?

Ka Kui: I've never considered that Beyond is an "underground band". We like to play the music we like to listen to, never considered playing the music that other people like. I think my music is very popular, don't know why nobody listens to it, makes me very not be resigned to it.

What is an "underground band"? One that doesn't release records? Hasn't held a performance? Doesn't stoop to give publicity to themselves? THese are all others misunderstanding of "underground". "Underground" 's true meaning is that people cannot tolerate, like on the mainland singing revolutionary songs is "underground work". Hong Kong doesn't have much political protest. Expression of resent towards society, in the west this is a sort of very popular music, it's a pity too many Hong Kong music fans only can accept the popular music they like to listen to, not accepting calling Beyond an "underground band".

Q: Has Beyond intentionally been strange?

Ka Kui: We don't like songs having too much repetition. For the most part, pop music has two verses, one bridge, one chorus, which is very formulaic. We like change, even so much that our own music compositions we have difficulty remembering, because I don't know how to notate compositions, everytime I write a song I have to use the machine to record it. There are those who think Beyond's music isn't coordinated, like three songs in one. I think this is very dramatic, like a story. I think other people's music is very limited, without change.

Q: Some say Beyond's music is becoming more and more commercial, is this submitting to reality?

Ka Kui: People have said Beyond's music is old and strange kind of music, playing pleasing to the ear music just won't work. So I try to compose other people's kind of music, prove that since others can achieve it, I can also do it. This is a challenge to yourself, not to submit to reality. But I admit Beyond did try to become commercial, this is to accept fans way of thinking. If I persisted in playing the music that I thought was good, fans wouldn't understand, or accept it, but would resist, would be annoyed, not want to listen to Beyond's music anymore, this would lead to distancing the fans. I won't be resigned to it, so temporarily, after the fans accept us, again create the music that we like. I believe that Beyond did not intentionally become commercial, unless if now we only played The Earth, Really Love You, I Like You, only then are we a one hundred percent pop band, but Beyond hasn't stayed at The Earth, I Like You, stage.

Q: It appears at this stage that your works have or have not been restricted?

Ka Kui: Before we liked simple thoughts. Today we know Hong Kong people like simple things. Personally for a musician, all day you want to make a breakthrough, but you need to control yourself, don't want to go by convention. Sometimes for the song to be popular, to supress yourself no to empty out what you like as the fans may not accept it, makes me bored. I ask myself, what music am I playing? Why need to make it so hard?

During the time of The Earth and I Like You, we played simple songs and the feetback was the strongest. Using our hearts to play some more technically difficult songs, the response was very cold. Musicians want to shift the boundaries in their msuic, instead nobody cares, nobody appreciates. I felt in Hong Kong music there isn't any interest. Right now circumstances are a litle better, the number of music fans has stabilized, the record company also has confidence in us. So as long as in an album there are two, three songs which will be popular, we are given free rein. Beyond has been established for 10 years, I hope to compose the msuic that I like, fear that some fans won't accept the path I take, but Beyond will still take its own path. Q: Spending 10 years in the music circle, what have you reaped?

Ka Kui: The biggest reward is that some fans understand guitar based music, know what drums are and know what guitars are. When we made mistakes, they would write a letter notting our mistakes that needed correction. These kind of fans aren't weak and appreciate our songs, also appreciate my hard work. They experience good guitar playing, then they wil definitely spend a lot of time practicising. I feel very happy, because our previous efforts weren't in vain. It's possible these types of fans wil grow up and become another band, like Beyond, like us criticising people, criticising society. They will also give us pressure, to do even better. Q: After becoming famous, Beyond also shot movies, appeared on television, do television programs, is it that you do not accept only being musicians, have to be entertainers?

Ka Kui: We are one hundred percent musicians, wholeheartedly pursue music. When the album comes out we publicise it, ordinarily avoid it and pursue music. If we haven't released an album and also appear on television, television programs, only then that is an "entertainer". Beyond doing publicity means that music must be relevant. There are some singers who appear on television, step all over people, "drink milk" (meaning to suck up to), what meaning has this. Helping music equates to zero, only to raise their fame, that's all. Before I also tried to appear on a singing show, in the first place because of income problems, secondly to prove we could be like other entertainers. Appearing on singing shows you earn money, but everyday return home completely tired, then how will you have time left for music? Everyone worries about themselves, so why compete so greatly? Scared that others are "hotter" than you, scared of others vieing for your own fans!

Q: Since you wish to popularize music, why don't you write for other people?

Ka Kui: We wanted to write songs for other people, but the record company was opposed to it. They said, why don't you keep the good songs for yourself? If it isn't a good song, it will affect Beyond's name. That is to only be responsible for writing songs sin't okay. In short that any person's album has Beyond's name inside isn't alright, if you want to listen to Beyond's songs you should buy Beyond's albums. If each member did their own work, everybody would lose focus. Like TaiChi for example, they played for a lot of stars, obviously they played rock, but wrote other people's jazz songs. If done too much would result in not having your own individual character. You say, if we just use up the remaining songs, what will the band be like?

Q: Why do you resent the Hong Kong entertainment industry?

Ka Kui: Hong Kong doesn't have a music circle, only has an entertainment circle. You watch every year at music awards who gets elected best singer? It's the "hot" entertainer. What song is chosen? All cover version songs. In the circle you can say that in essence people don't respect music, only use music to shape popularity, give publicity to singers, not using music to move people's hearts, the content is empty without feeling. The entertainer will be absorbed into the music world, singers filming movies, on television, being an actor and also becoming a singer. Many singers regularly attend charitable activitiesm helping the poor, go to orphanages, visit old people's homes, yet their songs always don't express loving care for society type messages. For what? Want to be "hot", becoming popular, and want to become even more popular!

Q: Why can Beyond stay together?

Ka Kui: To be a person the most important is to be true. Very strange, some entertainers can pretend to have a smiling face, obviously not having very happy thoughts, seeing them face to face, all disguise themselves as affectionate. Why? Perhaps they can't help it. I'm not willing to be an idol, towards people be strong with a smiling face. Musicians only need to write good music. We are not from college, in ten years my family have opposed it yet we have persisted in playing in a band. Towards my passion for music I have been influenced all my life, not a small number of fans have begun to understand music, we play wrongly, they will write a letter to criticise us, also fans write a letter sending their recorded music. Does Beyond still need to exist, because we have sowed the seeds and they have begun to sprout.

[fliqer]

#⠀⠀⠀⠀character⠀⠀masterlist⠀⠀⠀⠀!

⠀⠀all of my characters are open for any kind of relationship ( platonic, romantic, etc ) and plot. i'll probably update this list as time goes on ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

ashley lee,⠀twenty-five. leader of an idol girl group, currently on hiatus over a dating scandal with another artist. it was all planned by the agencies but it almost ruined ashley's image completely. currently she's working as a producer and lyricist for her own group.⠀⠀( jang yeeun )

zoe ramdhani,⠀twenty-four. a law student searching for a reason to drop out off of college. lead guitarist in a band with her best friends.⠀⠀( cindy kimberly )

flora gao,⠀thirty. a former figure skater lost her way after retiring. she currently works as a bartender in a nightclub and throws water at the faces of people who dare to mention her past.⠀⠀( jenny zeng )

lanah wu,⠀twenty-four. unemployed and currently hiding from her mom after running away from her own wedding.⠀⠀( elkie chong )

lysander⠀‘ ander ’⠀mitchell,⠀twenty-five. ran away from home at eighteen and never came back. he changed his name and took a friend's surname to keep a low profile so his family wouldn't find him. currently works at a pet shop.⠀⠀( felix mallard )

luca ryu,⠀twenty-one. figure skater. he wants to be perfect at all costs, so he can't help but be too hard on himself when things don't go as planned. his mother is worried about the amount of pressure he puts on himself, but luca refuses to listen. ⠀⠀( sim jaeyun )

arden song,⠀twenty. twitch streamer. doesn't want to go to college because he genuinely feels he's not smart enough. he started streaming at nineteen —even though his parents were against the idea of him not doing anything with his life—, and quickly grew in the platform. he now makes enough money to live on his own. ⠀⠀( kim sunoo )

wang bonhwa,⠀twenty-six. also known as byeol, he's currently a soloist in the k-pop industry. he joined a survival show at twenty-one but soon left as he wasn't interested in joining a group, he wanted to shine on his own and that's exactly what he achieved after a year of hard work. he's currently a worldwide known star, but he isn't as nice as he seems on camera.⠀⠀( jeong jaehyun )

[jupiterscythe]

LONG POST AHEAD

My drummer will always be one of my best friends, and the privilege of creative collaboration for over 10 years now remains one of my favorite feelings. Honored to have stood in his wedding, and I'll be damn sure he stands in mine.

It's been heartbreaking to retire our original band that we've worked at for just over a decade, and I've been taking it pretty hard. I truly wanted to pursue a career as a live musician, and that's not to say I hadn't! Damn proud of the countless shows and festivals we played in the states.

Our vocalist previously left to pursue a career in the military, and we respected his choice, so we all agreed to divide vocal duties, as we can all sing well, and both I and the lead guitarist could do harsh vocals. But then our 2nd guitarist (one of my friends for over 20 years) decided to ghost us and fuck off with nary a reason or excuse when we had a 2nd wind with shows upcoming, and finishing recording our first full length, and it stalled our progress.

By the time we found a great replacement and started practicing again, covid happened and that led to more stretches between writing and practice. On and off the last couple years, we've tried, but it was a couple days ago, our lead guitarist confided in us that he couldn't enjoy it because of what our friend did to us, and especially him in terms of money and gear. He lost a friend, and a creative partner. They both had the same understanding and approach to theory and composition, and they wrote lots of great material together. It's because of that hurt that our lead gets a bitter taste in his mouth when we play the old songs, and without that same mind to bounce ideas off of, it was just making him sad. It was sad to hear, but I'm glad he trusted us enough to confide and respected us enough to tell us personally. It was all mutual. The drummer and I both agreed that it wouldn't be the band without him, so we all agreed to officially retire the project. We're all still close friends and still talk regularly. I'm still very close to our old vocalist as well since he's returned from the military. But our drummer is still one of my best and closest friends. First guy I ever jammed with, and I want no other drummer behind me, because we have such a natural chemistry together.

We jammed a couple times last month, and now that the main project is over, we're starting up a new project and incorporating multiple genres. I've had a handful of riffs I wrote the last few years, and after demoing them, he loved em and sees potential. We're gonna go look at some new gear Sunday, and for the 1st time in awhile, I feel like I can turn this negative energy into positive and focus on creative expression as an outlet. You gotta take a few bumps before you get to swing back, and I have a fire in me again. I've gained lots of confidence as a musician, and I'm optimistic about the next chapter of my music career

[thedirge]

“A woman got shot not too far away from my club downtown last week—a stray bullet from a shootout in Juarez, which is maybe the equivalent of six or seven blocks away,” says At the Drive-in guitarist Jim Ward over the phone from his home in El Paso. “The violence rarely spills over, but you can feel it, you know. If you want to kill someone, all you have to do is go to Juarez, where the law is all but obsolete and the consequences are either retaliation or nothing at all.”

“It was one of the most fucked up places back then," says Jim of his hometown, where he lives now with his wife. "But it wasn't anger fueling the music. It was just being frustrated from living in El Paso. It was such a clusterfuck. But everybody was in it together. Everybody played with everybody's band; everyone knew each other. It was like a gang." According to Ward, it’s this mentality that brought the band back together for their Coachella appearance. "There's no amount of money in the world that could make this worthwhile if it wasn't for the friendships." he says. "If it didn't feel comfortable, we wouldn't have done it. I mean, I love these guys. We grew up together. And in a way, you're fucking with your history. You're opening your book and starting to write again—and we were fine with our history. We can all sit in a room and get along, but if the music isn't working…

“Anyways, it was only yesterday when we plugged in and started rehearsing. Within a nanosecond we knew it was perfect, and that was it. If that wasn't there, there'd be no point.”

While Coachella also marks other reunion firsts—Swedish hardcore veterans Refused and the Buzzcocks' classic lineup among them—there's arguably few with as chaotic and confusing a past as At the Drive-In.

Listening to Zavala and Ward speak, it’s evident a lot of that chaos and confusion traces back to those formative days in EI Paso. For any band currently laboring through the unforgiving times of Could it be more felicitous that At the Drive-In's sound was birthed a mere few music business ebb-and-flow and the dying throes of AOR rock, the singer says. "I was trying to escape as a kid, and I was lucky enough to tour and travel young," adds Ward. "But kids in those port cities, sometimes they just want to get the fuck away. That’s one reason so many get jobs on ships. When they tell me that, I get it. It's the same now; it really wasn't much better in the mid-‘90s, either.”

“We were basically the black sheep of EI Paso," Zavala recalls of their first few years. "No one was really stoked on us. I think if there are any true fans there; they'll remember that a lot of the time there were maybe three people at our shows—like Omar's dad and two other people."

Ward freely admits to having a love-hate relationship with his hometown. It's where he helped start At the Drive In at age 17, and where the band ultimately agreed to put it on hiatus some seven

Despite playing to small crowds in smaller venues, the band's

determination only grew. "If people hated us, it only incensed that gang-like

years later—a band break that never officially ended. But Ward is also quick to

attitude," remembers Ward. "People would be in the front row, booing us and

credit the town with helping birth their own sui generis brand of rock 'n' roll. It's

telling us we sucked, and we were just like, 'Fuck you, we have the mic, and

*i

a sound that's likely flustered many a fan who would attempt to describe it to a

we don't care if there’s a thousand of you. We're still gonna do what we want."

friend, if only in hopes of categorizing it: post-punk, noise rock. Sewn together

Eventually their on-stage performances caught the eye of fledgling indie label

with Zavala's cut and paste prose, ATDIs music played like a mutant brainchild

Flipside, who signed ATDI the same night the band played to a crowd of only

between latter day William Burroughs and a '90s, ADHD-afflicted youth. A

nine people. Thus followed touring, three albums (the third, Relationship of

Command, on the Beastie Boys' Grand Royal label), some MTV exposure via

counterculture hungry for something not too Blink-182 but also not too Mr.

Bungle. A Frankenstein of sorts, forged from caustic beginnings in both El Paso

their video for "One-Armed Scissor," and still more touring, Soon the road began

to take its toll.

and its violent sister city across the border.

THERES NO AMOUNT OF MONEY IN THE WORLD THAT COULD

MAKE THIS WORTHWHILE IF IT WASNT FOR THE FRIENDSHIPS."

"People kept trying to book shows," remembers Ward scornfully. "There was no

In its own way, none of this intermittent chaos seems surprising to Zavala and

record company telling us what to do, but the frustration came with touring

Ward. Maybe that's because both, in their own respective ways, have been

and the exhaustion that followed. It kept going. No one ever stepped in to stop

surrounded by death and drama their entire lives. Ward lost his cousin to an

it, evon though they could see what was happening to us. No one ever bothered

apparent heroin overdose in 2003. In 1996, Zavala's close friend Julio Venagas

to say, “Slow down.” One day, Omar and Cedric said they were gonna go their

committed suicide, and his friends Laura Beard and Sarah Reisler (both from

separate ways, and I just felt this wave of relief." He’s quiet for a moment. "It

another ElPaso band called Fall on Deaf Ears) were kılled in an auto accident

wasnt hard; we were just kids. It’s not like we had mansions and mortgage

that same yoar. Zavala credits being able to perform live as a primary reason he's

payments to make.

still sane.

"We'd had this ‘six month rule' thing, too," he adds, "which meant that before we

"I guess the affinity comes from the frustration of all those years, and channeling

would break up, we’d take six months off to think about it. That’s where it sort of

it into my live show. Sometimes I'm at a loss for words, and if I can dance it out,

went wrong. Nobody ever really honored that agreement.”

if I can freak out and break stuff and knock shit around, then I'm tapping into that

I'm tapping into myself, and when I’m doing it publicly, that’s when it’s

Zavala doesn't hesitate to address all the rother factors that supposedly led to

the truest form of who I am.”

ATDI's dissolution, including what was, by his own admittance, "just all my

As for those stream-of-consciousness lyrics, how do they hold up 11 years later?

shit-talking and hiding behind things." A chronic pot-smoker back then, Zavala

Do fans ever approach him, relating how they relate to them? The

found band life difficult to adjust to. I wasn’t stepping up to the plate. I became

answer seems to be a resounding yes, if not completely the way Zavala had anticipated.

a completely grumpy bastard, and I couldn’t do anything without pot. You know

Jon Stewart's character in Half Baked? I was like that. It was a great way of

distancing myself from people. All I gotta do is smoke and then I’ll get on stage

“One timel I got a phone call from my manager, who put me on the phone with this

and be fine. Now I believe my choices were my choices. I'm not fully better or

kid who was on a ledge, and I had to talk him down," Zavala remembers. "He

changed, in the sense that I still am dealing with my anger issues."

was calling me trom Sweden after we’d played a show there, and he was about

to kill himself. He kept asking, “does this lyric mean this?' I just had to say to

Zavala insists he's neither condemning or condoning his past behavior. "One thing

him that whatever you can get from it, I nope it’s a positive

I've learned is that I can't put other peoples' ethics in," he adds. "lf that's what

thing. I didn't know what to say to the guy. AIl I could think was that he was

works for them then they gotta reach for whatever level in life works for them. AII I

going to kill himself.There was no negative hidden meaning, but I couldn’t

know is that quitting is working for me, and my wallet says,

explain myselt, really. Just, “Don't make life so short. It’s worth living.”

"Thank you. Now we can spend money on studio time for your records.”

Between the touring and the drugs, however, Zavala admits he had trouble

Few would argue that a breaking polnt for the band came with the band's 2001

making himselt believe that credo. He still sounds unsure as to why. "I had

Big Day Out Festival appearance in Brisbane, Australia. Caught in a violent

to go play on stage, and before I went on, other people would come up and tell

me, ‘This song has spoken to me because I had an abortion, and it helped me

mosh pit during Limp Bizkit's set, 17-year old Jeasica Michalik was crushed by

the crowd and rushed to a hospital. Despite being revived, she died of a heart

get through these things." Now you go back and look at the lyrics and you say,

attack five days later. It was an incident some might say the band was prescient

‘holy shit! What the hell was I thinking back then? It took me ten years to go

back and listen and sort of realize that I'm just an antenna—I'm really just

enough to foresee. "We didn’t want to be the soundtrack to broken bones,"

Zavala says, recalling their set earlier in the day. “There were people surfing on

picking up stuff. I mean, I grew up in the suburbs, my parents put food on the

cach other. I mean, thoy were literally taking boogie boards and surfing off each

, and I just got mad at the things a young man gets angry at.”

other’s skin. It was painful to watch, and so we walked off.I don’t favor the brutal. I

meek, especially in a situation like that."

In addition to that rebellious attitude, El Paso also serves as a source of pride.

"When I think of Texas—when I think of EI Paso—I think of the Butthole Surfers

"We'd always watch out for the kids in the front," adds Ward, "but at that

and Scratch Acid," says Zavala. "I think ot Fearless lranians from Hell, bands likey

festival, people just kept on doing it. After that we had to say fuck it.”

that. That stuff was really extreme. When I was just a teen skateboarding around

EI Paso Zorlad Skateboards were the most sought-after board in the state. And

A month after the Australian Festival, At the Drive-In offiçially broke up, citing

it was mostly because ot theur "Fuck You!" attitude. I remember their logo on a

mental and physical exhaustion. The six-month break passed; Ward, Hajjar and

t-shirt, which read, Fuck You, we're from Texas!” We were coming from a place

Hinojos Conzalez formed Sparta, while Cedric and guitarist Omar Rodnguez-

that broke rules all the time, and that was the feeling that came up when Tony

contacted me last time. Just, “Let's do it."

Lopez formed The Mars Volta (later to be joined by Hinojos in 2005). The five

rarely spoke over the following decade.

"We've done a lot ot growing up over the past 11 years," adds Ward. "Finally you find

yourself surrounded by people you trust and love. Those are these guys, for me.”

Canyon.”

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine

NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.

NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.

Part 1.

Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.

A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist

Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.

Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.

1. Origins

Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.

Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.

All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.

But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.

“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:

But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.

So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:

On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need

And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.

Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice

Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):

Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie

Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex

Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:

A tomb with a view

Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.

Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.

2. Recruitment

It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.

Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.

Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!

Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.

Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.

What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.

But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.

“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”

But we sidestepped a bit.

3. Pulling the strings

After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.

Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.

What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.

Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».

While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.

Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.

But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?

Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)

Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)

That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).

Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)

4. The Hero’s journey

That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.

Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.

_______

So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.

Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.

[karasunoloomer]

only shallow (haikyuu!! band au)

chapter 1: first impressions wc: 1.5k synopsis: yachi hitoka joins a band. envy and tinnitus ensues. masterlist an: literally just a passion project of mine i'm working on to pass the time. a lot of call outs to my favourite bands will come sooner or later. self indulgent? entirely so. do i care? yes but pretend i don't

read under the cut!

This was it. She could hear the band from the outside of the house; a consistent, yet disorganised stream of music thumping against her ears, growing louder as she steps closer to the front door.

"Yachi, you can do this!" The blonde girl tells herself. The cocoons of nervousness in her stomach kept at bay for the past week, had finally emerged as butterflies. She'd never met these people in real life, spare talking to the drummer on the phone, and a million possibilities swan through her mind.

Would they like her? Will she be good enough for them? Was this a ruse for a money laundering scheme, or worse a sight for a potential kidnapping? She had work in just under half an hour, and being kidnapped was not factored in to her schedule.

Trying to shake the intrusive thoughts off her mind she knocks on the door. The music continued. Okay. They just didn't hear her. She takes a deep breath, and knocks again, louder this time.

"Oh shit I think that's her!" a voice behind the wall exclaims and the music stops. Thirty seconds later and the door opens with a boy just taller than her popping his head through. "Yachi?"

She nods as he unlocks the screen door in front of her, "Come on through, we usuallly practice in Tsuki's garage. It's just down the hallway!"

His eagerness and enthusiasm prompts Yachi to recognise him as the one who had taken her call. To be honest, she still didn't know what had come over her when she decided to answer the ad. It was just so happened that one night, while she was on the closing shift, she spotted it. It was hand written, stuck on the community notice board snuggled in a spot beneath the lost pets and above the second hand cars.

Looking for a bandmate to jam with :) Musical experience is preferred. We're looking to make it big, so commitment is key. If you're interested call the number below:

Yachi did have musical experience, although it was more polished than the DIY vibes she got from the advertisement. Learning piano, at the request of her mother, for twelve years did come in handy on rare occasions. She hadn't played in front of an audience since her first year in high school, so she didn't have the performance skills for a live band. But on the other hand, she thought, the years of lessons and sore fingers had to account for something, even if it was just playing chords on a keyboard. This wasn't like the proper, school recitals. This was a band. Where she'd have creative freedom and make friends and jam out.

Her life was at a stalemate at this point in time, the hope of university was still there, although Yachi had to first endure the drudgery of work. Joining a band would bring some flavour to her routine, and encourage her to get out and talk to people; people who weren't her co workers or entitled customers. With this in mind, Yachi pulled one of the numbers off and placed it in the pocket of her apron.

Which led her here. In someone's garage, staring at a bunch of boys she'd never met in her life. The butterflies were going crazy by now, and she was trying her very best to stop the word vomit from coming up.

"Everyone, this is Yachi, she answered the ad," the ginger announces, the enthusiasm in his voice ever present. "I'll introduce you to the guys first! The one who looks really scary is Kageyama, he plays guitar and is a super genius."

Yachi spots a black haired boy with a stern look on his face and her knees nearly give way.

"...The tall guy is Tsukishima and he plays bass. Don't worry if he's mean, he's like that with everybody."

Tsukki nods at Yachi.

The ginger boy then points to the person checking cables, "That's Tadashi, he's our vocalist and sometimes plays tambourine."

Tadashi pauses his work to wave at Yachi. She meekly waves back.

"And the best for last," he gestures to himself. "I'm Hinata and I'm the drummer!"

Yachi gulps. They looked so sophisticated, and so scary, something she couldn't pull off in a million years. "Hi everyone," she murmurs softly, failing to meet anyone's eyes.

"What instrument do you play?" Kageyama asks, failing to recognise her nervous demeanour.

"Oh um, I used to play piano, and I know that piano players aren't really needed in bands a lot but I figured I could play keyboards or help out with musical composition." The word vomit had started, she knew it wouldn't help her case but she continued anyway, "You guys don't have to let me be in your band if you think I'm too bad at it or anything..."

Kageyama cuts her off, "You play piano?"

Yachi nods.

He looks at Hinata, a pissed off expression on his face. "Hinata, we needed another guitarist."

Guitarist???

"S-s-sorry Kageyama I forgot to put that on the ad."

"Shoegaze bands don't need pianists. The guitars are the most important part. Does she even know what shoegaze is?"

She didn't. Yachi's heart sinks, the nervousness replaced with the sting of disappointment. As Kageyama and Hinata bicker, the two trying to pin the blame on eachother. Yachi decides to make her way out of the house before the tears well up. Figuring there was no point sticking around if she wasn't wanted.

A voice perks up. "You know, Yachi was the only person who answered the ad. If we dismiss her abilities entirely we could be missing out on a chance to strengthen our instrumentation."

The two are silenced. Yachi stops, turning her head back in surprise, to see Tsukki with arms folded.

He continues, "Going the purist route like Kageyama here will only make us run of the mill copycats. If we don't somehow innovate the sound we'll be forgettable. I think someone classically trained could be an asset and could push our music in a different different."

"See Kageyama?" Hinata exclaims. "She'll be great! What do you think Tadashi?"

The brown haired boy- was that a tint of green?- shrugs. "I can fill in as a second guitarist if Kageyama really wants it. I don't see why Yachi shouldn't be in the band."

He turns to Kageyama, who has been quiet since Tsukki initially spoke up. He stares at Yachi directly, his unreadable gaze making her tremble. He breaks it and addresses Tsukki, "You're right." More silence. "We'll trial her, and if she fits she can join us permanently. We can't guarantee she'll mesh well with our sound just yet."

A sigh of relief escapes her. She was in! Well, not in just yet, but they were willing to give her a shot! "Thank you so very much you guys for letting me join. I'll try my best, I promise. Thank you thank you thank you!"

Hinata pats on her the back. "That's totally alright Yachi! It'll be awesome with you around, I'm sure you'll do great. Right guys?"

Tadashi gives a thumbs up, Kageyama's face remains unchanged and Tsuki shrugs.

"Once again thanks," Yachi smiles, her shoulders loosening up and breathing a small smile of relief. She turns to walk out the door, calling behind her, "Please text me when you guys are practicing next!"

"Are you leaving already?" Hinata pouts. "We can't hear you play."

"Oh I'm super sorry!" Yachi says, flustered once more. "I just have work. Next time I promise I'll bring my keyboard and jam out with you guys. I swear!....Ahhh!"

Kageyama's hand is on her shoulder. He hands her a torn piece of paper, covered with his handwritten scrawl. "I made a list of shoegaze albums. Listen to these. They're important."

"Uhh.. thank you." She pockets the piece of paper and then turns around to wave at her newly found band mates, "See you guys!"

Finally out of the garage, and making her way towards the store, she reads the list Kageyama has given her. Yachi could almost admire his passion for the genre; quite a few albums were listed with hasty notes detailing the important aspects she should look out for, but the stench of elitism he exuded kept her from fully acknowledging his prowess.

She had no idea how she'd find the time to listen to the extensive list of music he'd given her before their next rehearsal. She spent the majority of her time working and her manager barely let her play her own music in the store, instead subjecting her to repeated listens of Green Day. Regardless, Yachi thinks to herself, she needs to listen to this. It was essential to keeping her on Kageyama's good side, improving her chances to be included in the band as a worthy musician.

Her eyes glance at the album listed first. It is circled, and the title written over at least five times to give the impression it's bolded. Beside it: "MOST IMPORTANT- IF YOUR (Yachi cringes slightly) GOING TO LISTEN TO ONLY ONE, PICK THIS ONE!!!!"

"Loveless," she whispers the title to herself, grabbing her phone to look up the album. "Let's go."

[gefuhl-des-zweifels]

Brian May: Enlightened Monarch

Author: Sacha Reins (Best, №118, May 1978)

It's no secret I'm a Queen fan. So I volunteered for an interview. Now, after a few weeks, when the interview took place, I admit the obvious: these young people have their own cockroaches.

[Sacha Reins, 70s]

It was a series of last-minute and appointed interviews that were cancelled under strange pretexts.

The sirs took a star. On the Sunday before the concert in Paris, their press agent told me to stay at home on the phone, and as soon as one of these gentlemen is ready for an interview, I will call, and I will immediately have to come. What was I supposed to do, send them away?

Then there's this ridiculous party. On the night of the second concert in the hall of a chic restaurant in their honor was a party where they were handed gold discs.

The group arrived ... and locked in a private office, so they wouldn't be disturbed.

Queen is constantly surrounded by a team of security guards-bodyguards-managers who systematically block the group.

As soon as you manage to overcome this dam, you come across charming guys who pretend to be surprised to see you furious at being treated like pigs. They know nothing! I don't believe that.

Queen, in fact, suffer from a complex of Rolling Stones. Like the Stones, they want to be chased by hordes of crazy fans. Alas, this is not so, they are part of a well-known group, but individually do not cause delight in the crowd. And so to create an illusion ... they surround themselves with a whole retinue and security service, as useless as grotesque.

An interview with Brian May took place one day in Zurich. In the evening I had to attend their concert and then have dinner with them. The interview ended, I took my things, called a taxi and went to the airport to go home. I'm tired of their antics. Brian May was very courteous, but his entourage certainly sucks.

Monarchy

– Are you satisfied with your Paris concerts?

Yes, very. For us, these shows were held in a very special way. We were beginning to think we were banned from France. None of our recordings were sold here until We Are The Champions. And as soon as this single was a success, we said, well, it's time to go. The first night we were very nervous. We have been told so many times that the Paris audience is one of the most difficult in the world! We were very careful the first night, almost closed, and I think the audience felt it. The second night was completely different: contact had already been established.

– I attended this concert, and several times you made me think of Led Zeppelin because of the music and the peculiar interaction between you and Mercury.

– This is not the first time when we are compared with LZ in one or another plane. In fact, I think there was a lot more common ground between Queen and LZ a few years ago when we started. But now we have moved away from this form of hard rock, we have developed our own harmonies, a style that belongs only to us. However, LZ and we follow similar routes because, forming as musicians, we were influenced by the same people.

– Is there any stage rivalry between you and Mercury?

– No, we are too close, we know each other too well, we had too many common problems. Freddie is the natural point of attraction of the group, and it's good that he realizes his charisma in this way.

The first person the viewer watches will always be the lead singer and then the guitarist. Therefore, it would be foolish to try to fight with Freddie for power on stage. Especially since he's a fantastic showman.

– No leader in the group?

– No. Whenever we make a decision, whether it's our business or music, we meet all four of us together, have a long conversation, and then decide what we're going to do.

We complement each other. Specifically, John Deacon deals with money. Roger Taylor is responsible for our communications with the outside world, I mean the outside world in relation to Queen.

– In this sense, I found that your behavior in Paris was a little strange. All of these appointed and revoked by the miserable occasions interview. This ultra-twitch security that has built a wall around you. This ridiculous party, when you took a private office with a thug at the door, which blocked access to other guests. As if journalists or promoters were going to attack you! It was all very strange.

– For our image well, that we look as excessively guarded and hard-to-reach group. So even more people will be interested in us. As for the party, I don't remember it very well.

Equipment

– Keep going. Who gave you the idea of this light installation?

– Nobody, we developed it a year ago with the help of our engineer Jerry Stickels.

– So she came before «Close encounters of the third degree»?

– Long time. So this similarity between the spaceship from the movie and our glowing crown is very strange. Americans were struck by this similarity. We receive many letters on this subject.

– You have a lot of stage equipment. This is a device that endlessly reproduces the sound of the guitar, have you been using it for a long time?

– Since 1972. It was necessary for us from the very beginning, but we had no money, we were able to buy it only in 72-m. This is a rather complex device. It took me a long time to learn how to handle it properly, and I also changed it so that it could play two different sounds indefinitely. Now I know it perfectly and can use it to play harmonies, counterpoints, chords.

[Vintage 1970's Maestro Echoplex EP-4 Solid State Tape Delay]

The trickiest thing is to perfectly tune the scene so I can hear exactly how the sound goes and comes back. If for some reason it is hard to hear what is happening, it is a disaster because I do not know how often to put a refund. But this has not happened for a long time, because now we have everything we need on stage.

We are sometimes criticized for the fortune we have invested in our equipment. This kind of criticism is quite inappropriate, because if we spend so much money on equipment, it's all for the audience to be satisfied, both visually and musically.

You see, we're interested in being able to play back what we're doing on the record. Complex harmonies and all that. But there are only four of us. We need the help of electronics, so Freddie and I are using these devices with endless echoes. We don't want to play pre-recorded tracks like some bands do. We don't think it's fair.

– But you use the entry in Bohemian Rhapsody…

– Yeah, but that's different. The BR passage you are referring to is a complete reproduction of a studio recording. We recorded this song as an Opera. Each of us sang about twenty different parts to reproduce exactly one big classical choir. It is absolutely impossible to perform on stage. We tried it a few times, but it sounded really bad compared to the album version, so we decided to play a pre-recorded Opera passage. But to avoid any doubts or misunderstandings, we give these recordings in complete darkness and do not appear until the hard rock part, which we play live. It's more honest.

– Where do you get all these classical and Baroque allusions that your music is filled with?

– I don't know, because none of us have any real classical foundations. I think that all this comes from the depths of our childhood memories, when our parents listened to waltzes on the radio, brass bands in parks on dundays. It must have come from there.

– Your latest album, News Of The World, doesn't have enough references to Baroque.

– Yeah. We went back to pure hard rock. Without excesses. We've come a long way in the Baroque style, a cross between Opera and rock, and I don't think we could have been more successful than with A Night At The Opera. That's why we came back to more unpretentious music.

– A Night At The Opera sold best, so don't you think you've disappointed a large audience who liked these musical tricks?

– We always disappoint someone, no matter what we do. When we started working with the Baroque style, we disappointed our first fans who loved us for our pure hard rock.

– They say you don't take vacations.…

– Yes, we work hard. Every year we lock ourselves in the studio for two or three months, then we go on a two-month American tour, then we spend two months in Europe, two months in Japan and Australia, and when it's over, it's time to go back to the studio for the next album. We have been living in this rhythm for five years.

– Bands like Queen and all the major British bands we've seen in recent years have been getting more and more stage equipment. Now everyone has lasers, bizarre scenes, smoke generators, etc. When will this arms race end?

– Never. Show business will always follow with interest the development of technology in all that relates to audiovisual information, and use it to create even more pompous, beautiful and impressive shows. However, there is a very clear reaction from part of the public (I'm talking about the rock audience), especially in the UK, where most young people want the bands to return to the adequate stage art as it was ten years ago.

I don't mind, but here we are faced with a mathematical impossibility. To play without assistive devices, you will have to work in small halls, even in clubs where your creative energy is in direct contact with your audience. There really is no need for a rotating stage and smoke, everyone is in direct contact with the music. But the famous band will no longer be able to play in small halls.

[News Of The World Tour]

Look at Paris, in two days we performed in front of 18,000 people. In a hall with two thousand seats we would have to play for everyone nine days in a row and eighteen days – in the club. At this rate, it will take us ten years to travel around the world, it is unthinkable. That is the only way to have time everywhere – to play in the huge halls (and believe me, Pavillon de Paris – not the biggest).

[Pavillon de Paris (aka Les Abattoirs de la Villette – "Slaughterhouse in La Villette"); as a concert hall for about 10,000 spectators, the building was used from 1975 to 1980.]

Now, about the question you asked me. I don't know how or when it will end, but I know what the next step is: holography. A hologram is a three - dimensional photo projection in space. It will be possible to create incredible scenery, in a second to project the Grand Canyon of Colorado or skyscrapers of New York in 3D, creating the illusion of full presence. The basic principles are developed, but everything else is still in the process of testing for wide application.

Fantasia

– What about Sex Pistols?

– It's a band that we really like ("we" means Queen) and I'm really sorry that they broke up. But it was almost inevitable.

– Why?

– They were under too much pressure. The British music press (the worst in the world) has made the lives of these guys unbearable, making them both heroes and scapegoats. The British press, to keep circulation, so needs in stars, that fabricates new names for couple of months. And an ordinary boy is not easy to survive the rapid transformation from a young nerd to a star. Most young talents don't know how to handle it. If by a Fluke they stay on the horse and become really popular stars, then the same press that inflated the whole story, smears them on the wall, because it feels that they are out of control and will be able to do without her support.

The British press is destructive, and Sex Pistols is not the first victim. We had a chance to succeed without the press. When we started, we were not written about, and when it did happen, the whole thing was limited to three contemptuous lines. As a result, we were able to gradually and without their help to gain the trust of the public.

– How long will you stay together?

– Hard to say. At the moment, everything is fine, we get along well, we are famous all over the world. Why run away?

– Do you see yourself on the rock scene in forty years?

– Perhaps by that time our music will develop in another direction. Maybe we'll have other ambitions. Personally, I am always guided by some achievable goal, to conquer France, for example. Or something like that. Make a full house in Madison Square Garden or Earl's Court.

If one day we reach the point where all desires are fulfilled, because we have already achieved everything, it will become a serious problem. That's what happens to Elton John.

Everything he could wish for, he had already received. He was not destined to become more famous or rich. He can only go down, because already at the top. He is unhappy because life cannot give him anything new. I don't want to be in this position.

– You wanted to conquer the French public, and you did it. Got a new target?

To lose the French public, so that there is a goal to return it. No, I'm kidding, to compose music so beautiful that animators could create on its basis at least the same beautiful cartoon as Fantasia. And finally take a vacation. Long vacation.

Source: http://queenfrance.online.fr/htm/presse/article3.htm

Translated from French: @gefuhl-des-zweifels

[blogofken]

Left-handed Guitars - A Solution in Search of a Problem

by Ken Hiebert

Ah, the age-old question:

If you're left-handed, is it better to learn on a left-handed guitar?

I'd like to posit this question in a slightly different way:

Why on earth would you want to?

Being left-handed myself, and someone who plays guitar "right-handed", as well as being a guitar instructor for the last dozen years or more, I have developed some fairly strong opinions on this.  If you happen to be a left-hander who plays a left-handed guitar, please don't take offense at this because it really only applies to those who are just beginning their journey.  If you already know how to play then please keep on rockin'!

For everyone else, let me first attempt to answer the second question. If you are left handed (like me), you've probably noticed that pretty much everything in the world is against you because it's been designed with the right-handed person in mind. Whether it's using an old-school can opener or those little school desks with the left side wide open, or even trying to write with a pen and smearing ink all across the page, it's pretty obvious that the world has it in for lefties - and don't even get me started about writing in a three ring binder. Oh yeah, and right-handed scissors. Whoa. Well, thankfully someone did come up with a left-handed version of those that works, but with most of these other things, we're basically screwed. It's sink or swim, buddy. Get with the program or get out and walk.

It's pretty severe and the struggle is real, but if there was something a left-hander could just do naturally and not worry about having to adjust his or her whole life to do it, wouldn't that be preferable?

I remember my Mom telling me about my aunt (who's a lefty) when she was in school. The teacher had been trying to force her to write with her right hand (there it is again - wRITE with the right hand, the proper hand). Anyway, she was having a tough time until my Grandpa went down there and tore a strip off that teacher and told her she better let his damn kid write with whichever hand she damn well wants (or something like that). So, it fixed the problem, but not without a lot of pain and a huge amount of expended energy.

Now, back to the answer to the second question which I'll repeat because by now you've likely forgotten what it was:

"Why on earth would anyone want to play a left-handed guitar?"

So, you're a lefty who really wants to play guitar and you just came home with your first left-handed guitar.  You've taken lessons for a month or so and you've just spent the whole weekend working on the coolest riff you've ever heard.   Let's say it was the riff from "Smoke on the Water", because if you've just started learning guitar, then that probably *is* the coolest riff you've ever heard. Now, say you're at your friend's place and he's also learning how to play guitar and you're really pumped to show him this awesome riff.  Then you realize that you don't know how to play *his* guitar.  You only know how to play *your* guitar.  Then repeat that scenario for every one of your other friends as well.

Now fast forward about a year and you're in a small music store, and there's this dude playing a really nasty version of "Stairway to Heaven" and you know you can play it WAY better than him. You look around on the rack for a lefty guitar but sadly, they don't have any in stock.  Foiled again!

Now, I totally skipped over the part where you went to your local, small-town music store and played a dozen different guitars because you wanted to find the perfect one to make all your dreams come true - one you could buy with the money you saved pumping gas all summer.  The reason I skipped that part is because it likely never happened.  You'd be lucky to find even one guitar you could play at most small music stores and guaranteed, it's going to be more money than its right-handed equivalent.

Ok, so after all of that, I still don't know why anyone would ever really *want* to play a left handed guitar, unless someone simply convinces you that you should.

My first band consisted of myself on guitar, my friend Ian on bass guitar, and my other friend James on drums.  James also played guitar and Ian played everything, but the one thing we had in common is that we were all left-handed. What are the chances!?

*Interesting side note:

Like most lefties, we enjoyed talking about how the entire world is against us, and when another friend noticed this, he remarked that we "sounded like a bunch of bitter southpaws." Our band name was born!

Now, the interesting thing about these three Bitter Southpaws is that we all played guitar right-handed.  Another interesting tidbit is that in the arts, the incidence of left-handedness seems to be relatively high, and among left-handed guitarists, the majority of them don't play a left-handed guitar.

Here's another question that you probably have never asked:

"Why does everyone in North America operate a standard transmission with their right hand, while in the UK they use the left hand?"  

Here's a hint - it's not because everyone in North America is right handed or that everyone is left handed in the UK. It's because that's the way they are built.  To build them the other way around would be ridiculous and would cause more problems than the imaginary one it would solve.  Just because you are offered a choice doesn't mean that it's legitimate or beneficial.  As a left-hander myself who plays "right" I'm convinced that the opportunity someone saw for a niche market in left handed guitars was a solution in search of a problem.  Could you learn to play a left handed guitar?  Of course, but why would you want to unless some salesperson convinced you that you should?  

I'm also convinced that left-handed guitars have caused more problems than they've solved.  Learning a musical instrument is challenging enough as it is, so why in the world would anyone want to make it more complicated than it needs to be?  

There have also been some great players of upside-down guitars (Jimi Hendrix, Alber King, Elizabeth Cotton), as well as great guitarists who played with the guitar laying flat on their laps (Jeff Healey comes to mind.)   Could you do that? Probably.  That doesn't mean that it's the easy way or the best way to do it, it just means that humans are capable of almost anything they put their minds to.  I've even seen someone play guitar with his feet.  You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

So, to answer the first question:

Should a lefty start learning on a left-handed guitar?

If you've never played a guitar before, then I would say a resounding NO!  I don't think personal preference has anything to do with it.  In order to play guitar well, both hands need to function well above what would be considered "normal function" for non-musicians and if you're starting from zero anyway, you might as well just do it the normal way.  Learn to play the instrument the way it was designed.  It will make your life easier.  There's a reason you don't see right-handed pianos, or right-handed saxophones.  Now, I've taught a few lefties in my day, but they had already been playing that way for over a year before they came to me, so changing it up at that point would not only have been insensitive, it would’ve been completely ridiculous.

When I walked into my first guitar lesson over 35 years ago and picked up my first guitar in a left handed fashion, Chet Breau (son of the late, great Lenny Breau) told me something like, "Kid, if you don't already know how to play that thing, I'm gonna teach you the RIGHT way!"  I'm so glad he did, and this is exactly how I approach the subject with my own students today.