#he would yeet wade into hell for her without a second thought

[binkywinky]

i know you said logan is in love with storm, but i think he and wade really can work and love each other, too. and i feel between the two, he'd pick wade due to compatibility.

Look, far be it from me to tell anyone who to ship, especially on this site. Tumblr is gonna Tumblr, and I honestly have no opinion on Wade and Logan as a couple. I go by the comics, not the movies, and there's not really much there romance-wise for me in either medium to give it any thought (Wade has a crush on Logan, but he has a crush on like... everyone). But if you found something you love about them... by all means ship it.

But the one thing I will say... anyone thinking Logan would choose Wade Wilson over Ororo fucking Munroe - for any reason outside of death, torture, help for a murder spree, or a desire for self-punishment - is nuts. I am begging you to pick up a book because you'll understand how utterly ridiculous that statement is.

[monofpoke4life]

What Goes Around...

The discord I’m a part of had a Secret Santa, so here’s the zagr fluff I wrote. Please Enjoy.

"Stupid Zim! Stupid Dib! Stupid stupid field trip," Gaz growled as she hastily wiped away her silent tears. Her words echoing off the empty bathroom walls.

She shivered as she wrapped her arms around herself tighter, providing what little warmth she could for her bare upper half. Her cheeks flaming with what had happened earlier. 

Her eyes closed as what transpired just five minutes ago replayed in her head. 

She waded out into waist deep water to cool off, and to give her Game Slave a break. She was enjoying the contrast of the sun on her face and shoulders and the cool water at her waist when she heard it.

The fucking insane screaming of her brother and Zim, as they fought about who knew whatever it was they were fighting about. Rolling her eyes, she dove under, and resurfaced a moment later, content to ignore them and resign their blathering to the background as always. 

That had been her first mistake as she took the chance to subtly adjust her bikini top, frustrated that she tied it a tad too tight. She should've paid more attention, and then maybe she wouldn't be in this damn mess that she now found herself in.

Suddenly, she made her second mistake as she heard Dib's annoying screams rapidly growing closer, and turned around just in time to see Dib flying at her.

Her wide eyes narrowed as she regained her composure to briefly glare at the proud green bean, on the beach, who had just yeeted her brother in her direction.

With a sigh, she had stepped back to avoid getting crushed by Dib's average-but-fun-to-tease large head, and that's when she stepped into her third mistake. She should've taken more than one step. She should've gotten the hell out of there! But no. She calmly waited so she could taunt him about it.

However, whatever clever remark on the tip of her tongue was lost as a flailing Dib made contact with the water with a sickening slap of skin, and his hand desperately reached out to catch himself on anything he could use to pull himself up with. 

A gasp escaped her lips as she was suddenly jerked forward by her bikini top. A millisecond later, as Dib disappeared beneath the murky lake water, there was a tug, the tearing of fabric, and then weightlessness. The unsettling kind that let her know that her brother wasn't hanging on her anymore...because there wasn't something to hang onto anymore.

Her eyes squeezed shut at the part of the memory. Her cheeks burned, her throat grew tight, and her teeth ground together at the memory of her practically punching herself in the chest in her attempt to cover herself. She didn't have time to punish her brother as she took off to the closest building, the bathrooms, where she now found herself locked within.

"Fucking bullshit," Gaz snarled and slammed a fist into the side of the stall. She hated to act dramatic like one of her ditzy classmates that this was, "the end of the world," but it was! Oh it absolutely was! At least, it was to her reputation.

  Now, after this horrible incident, even if they were still scared of her, they would still snicker at the memory of the girl who flashed the lake. No matter how many beatings she gave or threats she made, her reputation would forever remain tarnished for the rest of her time at school.

"When I get out of here those idiots will pay! Not even gnats will find their entrails when I-"

Her rant was cut short as she heard the restroom door open. 

With a frown she quietly pulled her legs up to rest her feet upon the seat as she didn't want anyone to know she was still here. She just wanted to hide or evaporate into the ether. Just anywhere but there, and just forget about that day.

As the women did their business and gossiped afterwards in front of the mirrors as they primped their hair and reapplied makeup, Gaz quietly sighed and buried her face into her knees.

This was the worst day of her life, and it couldn't get any worse.

"LITTLE GAZ WHERE ARE YOU?"

"AHHH!"

"A boy!"

"This is the girl's room!"

"Get the fuck out!"

"You filthy, flabby skinned hyoomans cannot tell the mighty ZIM what to do! I shall leave when my business is done!!!"

As chaos graced her ears, Gaz groaned and gently hit her head against her knees repeatedly. Apparently things could get worse, and the dookie was going to hit the fan.

"We're getting security!"

"Begone MOPS!"

Gaz couldn't stop the snicker from escaping her lips at the misspoken meme as the door banged shut behind the pack of screeching harpies. 

As the door bounced open, and slowly drifted shut, Gaz became hyper aware that she and Zim, who was apparently looking for her, were the only ones left alone inside.

Wanting to get this done sooner rather than later, Gaz lowered her feet, straightened her back, and crossed her arms over her chest, as she growled, "What do you want, Zim?" 

At the sound of her voice, Zim pivoted on his heel, boots scratching against cement, and strutting towards her stall. 

"My reasons, Little Gaz, are my own," he sneered, as she watched his boots stop in front of her stall and turn around. Not daring to take a chance at looking at her. Smart guy. For once.

Gaz opened her mouth to say something back, but stopped as a breeze from the open window sent a chill down her spine. 

Shuddering, Gaz barely heard the sound of ruffling clothing, but she did hear the slight jostle of the stall door. Her head snapped up, and her eyes widened. There, hung over the door and held in place, was Zim's outer, magenta tunic.

"What's that for?" She growled impatiently. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, especially seeing it without an ulterior motive. Not that she didn't try to see one. However, she couldn't think of one. It's not like he planned this. He wasn't smart enough for that, especially with how hard he tried to get out of this field trip. Not to mention to have the brains to understand she'd be vulnerable in a moment like this.

It was silent for a moment, before Zim awkwardly cleared his throat.

"A soldier should not be caught without armor."

Okay...maybe he understood more than she thought.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously before she stood up, gently yet quickly, plucking it out of his grasp.

The material wasn't so bad. This would do to fetch her things so she could properly change. Maybe she'll just maim him a bit.

However, as she began to pull it over her head, she froze at what he said next.

"I-I...Zim is sorry."

"What?"

"I threw the Dib-weasle at you on purpose in the hope that you would doom him. I did not anticipate the loss of your chest thingy."

Her fists clenched the alien material, pulling it down and into place, as she slowly inquired, "If you knowingly messed up, then why are you here? Shouldn't you be running and screaming?"

"Hmph, Irken Invaders never run."

"Then what was last Thursday?"

"...A strategic retreat."

"A very loud strategic retreat."

At that, Zim grew silent. Clearly throwing a silent fit that she had a point, Zim refused to acknowledge her statement, for that would mean admitting she, a "stinky human" was right.

She merely smoothed out the wrinkles of the sleeveless tunic, and quietly basked with a smirk upon her lips. At least something got a predictable response from him. But, seriously, what was up with him? First the tunic and now an apology? What was next?

Gaz opened the stall and Zim immediately jumped back. His back brushing against the adjacent sink. He looked back and tugged at his light-pink, long sleeved shirt to make sure it didn't come into contact with any sink water. Finding none, he instinctively wiped his gloved hands against his black leggings.

"You never answered my question, Zim."

"Eh? What question?"

Gaz took a deep breath, one arm still crossed over her chest, as the tunic, which made a nice coverup, was still quite thin.

She took a threatening step forward. Zim gulped at this, as she elaborated, "Why aren't you 'strategically retreating from me?"

At this, Zim straightened his back and shoulders, arms clenched at his sides, and eyes closed. He looked like he was ready to face a firing squad, and with the wrath she's inflicted upon him in the past, that comparison was highly accurate.

He raised his chin up high, sweating bullets, as he finally answered. "To run from you is pointless. I know no matter where I go, no matter where I hid- retreat to, you, Little Gaz, would find me despite my far superior Irken training. I came to you, sparing your pitiful human time and effort, in hopes that you may hurt me less than you normally would."

Ah. That made sense. Zim would do anything to save his own skin. 

"Turning yourself in? That's all?" She inquired with suspicious eyes and incredulous brows raised. Shouldn't he be bragging and begging for extra mercy for the "peace offering" he provided as well?

At this, Zim's eyes opened, suddenly relaxed, as he shrugged.

"Erm eh, yeah that's about it."

"Nothing else you did to escape a nightmare world of pain?"

"Nope. Nothing."

Gaz glared at him, and watched his every movement, watching for his body language to give himself away as usual. However, he just stood there, blinking owlishly at her.

Her cheeks started to feel warm, but she easily fought it down as she quickly closed the short distance between them. 

"Ow!!!" Zim yelled in pain as his hand flew up to his throbbing shoulder. Despite, "surrendering" himself to her punishment, he glared indignantly at her as she pulled her fist away.

"That, whiner, is for throwing Dib at me and causing all of this!"

Her free hand pulled back again, and Zim froze with his eyes clenched shut, expecting another hit. However, the pain never came even as he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. He squeezed his eyes tighter as he was jerked sideways, probably to be kneed or something, and yet nothing happened except his side bumping into hers.

Zim's eyes flew open just in time to see her release him from her one-armed hug. 

He didn't get a chance to fully process it, as Gaz softly said, "And that's for lending me this. I can actually get my stuff from the buses now and change. Thanks."

"Oh, heh heh, of course. Totally did that on purpose. You may praise Zim more, Gus."

As Gaz opened the door, she frowned and rolled her eyes before she asked, "Hey, where is my brother anyway?"

"The Dib-feet? He ran into the forest when you ran in here."

She huffed. Of course he did.

However, this information made her smirk to herself, and when she opened the door, the sight beyond her made her smirk widen.

"Ya know, maybe when I find Dib, maybe I'll doom him a little extra. Just for you."

Out of the corner she watched him punch the ai as he exclaimed, "Yes! Just as I planned! Victory for ZIM!"

She rolled her eyes with a small smile at that, before she began to the long treck to the parking lot. 

Zim came to the doorway and stood, watching her go with his chest puffed in pride. 

She gave a wave as she, not even looking back, called, "Thanks again, Zimothy."

At the use of her demeaning, non-Zim name, Zim began to throw a small gremlin fit. However, he didn't get very far, didn't even get to scream or yell, as the women from before, with park rangers, swiftly approached him.

"There he is, officer! That's the little pervert who went inside the girl's restroom."

Meanwhile, as Gaz kicked a pinecone along the asphalt, she snickered as Zim's screams could be heard from off in the distance. Maybe she'd make it up to him some day, but for now, she'd bask in the karma freebie the universe gifted to her.