#he would've reassured lucy over and over that he wouldn't tell a soul about them (cause you know she'd be kinda panicked about it)

[dylanconrique]

remember when titus said he imagined jackson finding out about tim and lucy dating after waking up in the morning to find tim standing shirtless in their kitchen making coffee?? why couldn't we have had that????

[rurpleplaysmuttingtonac]

Martin could tell that Benedict still wasn't right. It was now a week since Sophie's death and still, Benedict carried the burden of it around with him like a storm cloud above his head. Martin knew that he was one of Benedict's closest friends in the manor so when they were on their own in the lounge, he cornered him on it.

"It's not your fault" he said simply.

Benedict, who'd been staring aimlessly in the direction of the telly and not watching it, jumped and turned towards him at these words. 

"I should've saved her. I should've been more alert, more focussed-"

"Benedict, Death isn't kind or generous. He tricked you and that's not a snub to your intellect."

"I don't care about looking stupid!" Benedict snapped. "I care that a friend dear to us all died because I failed!"

"No, she died because - bless her soul - she didn't eat anything for hours when food had been made for her. When I came downstairs that day, she was on that exercise bike and she told me she was starving. I told her there was food for her downstairs but she decided not to eat. If she'd have eaten, you wouldn't have had to try to save her. Sophie wasn't stupid and she cared for you as a friend. She wouldn't want you to suffer like this, we all know this."

"I'm supposed to be in charge" Benedict said hopelessly. I'm supposed to keep you all alive and safe. How can I protect you all when one of our number has died under my watch?!"

"It wasn't your fault" Martin repeated patiently. "Remember, we are all adults here. None of us are children who need constant monitoring. You always make a point to have fresh meals on the counter, sometimes making yourself late to work to leave us something tasty to eat in your absence! Nobody is accusing you of not caring about us and our safety."

Benedict nodded slowly, still feeling depressed.

"Think about it" Martin said. "A month ago, I know Lucy would've loved to rant at you but she was trying to comfort you yesterday and even Ricky, who you don't have the best relationship with, was prepared to reassure you. You, as much as you think you're a bad person, are not. Beatrice wouldn't be with you if you were truly evil, and I don't befriend tossers either."

Benedict snorted with laughter.

Martin took heart from the sound. "It will hurt for a while and you need to let the grief hurt you. You need to process it now, rather than repress it for later. Because it'll spring back at you when you least expect it, and you'll suffer far more then than you will now. We're all in the same boat, we all miss her. All we can do now is cherish her memory and the person she was."

Benedict closed his eyes, willing himself to believe Martin's words. He knew his friend was right. Sophie wouldn't want any of them to suffer, she hadn't been a malicious person. 

He opened his eyes again and they were full of tears. 

"I just miss her so much" he said quietly. "Every time I see Bea or Jordan crying their eyes out, I feel like I should be responsible."

"Remember that you did try" Martin said. "Jordan walked away, unable to see his girlfriend like that. He ran away from the problem and at least you faced up to it and tried. That counts. He might wish now that he'd done more to save her when he had the highest relationship here with her than anybody."

Knowing that he'd done all he could, Martin got up from the sofa, patted Benedict on the shoulder and left the lounge just as Beatrice entered.

Without Benedict seeing, she squeezed Martin's shoulder and mouthed "Thank you" motioning towards her boyfriend.

Martin smiled, realising that she'd heard his conversation with Benedict. He nodded once and mouth "Anytime" before heading upstairs to bed. 

She walked up to him and stroked his head before leaning over and kissing his forehead. He smiled sadly, turning towards her as he got up. As soon as he did, she pulled him to her and kissed him deeply.

"C'mon, let's go to bed."