#he’s gonna be a supervisor at another store so get that bread i guess but like….Don’t leave me 😭🙄😔

[thinkeroflovers]

my workbae just left work 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[rowxngreen]

18 years old from tucker, atlanta and has lived in atlanta for 18 years . currently working as a computer repair person/staff at his family’s store in marietta [ kit , 25 , mst ] | @atlanta-rpg​

tw: self harm, depression, sexual assault, substance use

Age: 18

Gender: Transmasculine, he/him

[Boxcar - Jawbreakers] - “Uhhh, shit, I guess if I had to pick a theme song it’d be Boxcar. I like the whole vibe of it, like, calling out punk purists. Punk should have no room for purism. If you say you’re a punk and you’re not a nazi, cause in the words of Dead Kennedys ‘nazi punks fuck off,’ you’re welcome. That’s what the whole point of punk was, dude. It’s the ultimate counter culture movement ‘cause it welcomes fucking everyone unlike mainstream culture.”

D.O.B: February 14, 2001

“Why the name Rowan?”

“So, like, originally I was named Hannah. Which is totally a bullshit name and when I met my forever family I decided to give myself a new name and I wanted it to be all nature-y because they all had nature names. They like helped me look and I found Rowan and read this folklore about how a rowan tree was where the devil hanged his mother and I knew right then. That was my name.”

Ethnicity: Half white, half mestizo

Enneagram: 8

Relationship Status: single - “Single and definitely not ready to mingle. If it happens it happens but I sure as hell ain’t seeking it out and I don’t think it’s gonna happen anyways so it don’t fucking matter.”

Sexual Orientation: Unsure  “Yeah, I don’t really wanna think about sexy shit. I was raped as a kid, I’m not especially into remembering it. And all this sexual orientation shit makes me remember it.”

Appearance:

Height: 5’0

Build: Smaller than he looks from far away. He’s actually really tiny. And he hates it.

If he wasn’t so intimidating he could be cute. With a small stature, high cheekbones, a cocky swagger and big brown eyes he is definitely attractive. But the scowl that takes over his features whenever he’s around someone he doesn’t trust and the aggression that seems to exude from every pore disguises that attractiveness pretty well.

Ripped flannels paired with crop tops and t-shirts layered with fishnets are among Rowan’s signature looks. There’s something decidedly sexual about how he dresses but he doesn’t seem to register that. He just wears what he likes and hopes will scare people. He displays his self harm scars like a badge of honor – or insanity. They seem to warn: I AM UNSTABLE, DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME.

Look at Rowan the wrong way and at the very least he’ll gnash his teeth at you. At the most he’ll pull a knife on you and threaten to gouge out your eyes if you ever look at him again. He claims he tried to once but that’s unlikely. He would be in jail if that was the case. …right? Better not to risk it.

History:

Rowan was born to a teenage mother in an abusive household.

When Melissa Webber got pregnant at only age 15 she knew she would be in trouble. Her father, Frank, wouldn’t approve. Melissa kept it from the man as long as she could. Eventually, of course, he found out. Frank was livid. Melissa was banned from leaving their little trailer, she was banned from seeing her friends, and she was even banned from seeing her boyfriend of just over a year and the father of her baby.  She was to be homeschooled for the rest of her high school career so, in the words of Frank, she could no longer “be a slut.”

Her baby was born on Valentine’s Day in a house with no love left. Melissa’s mother had died when Melissa was only 11, and it often felt like she took any warmth and care that had been lingering in the corners of rooms, hidden among the shadows with her. How funny then that Rowan, initially named Hannah Jane, was born on Valentine’s day.

Frank’s anger and the isolation he forced on Melissa eventually pushed the girl to run away. Rowan was only 6 months old. She initially swore she would be back for her baby when she had a safe place to stay. She never came back. Before Melissa left, Rowan had been largely ignored by Frank. Now, however, he became the scapegoat. Melissa hadn’t left because she was isolated from the world. Nor, apparently, had she left because of the intense abuse she faced. Instead, according to Frank, she had left because the baby had ruined her life.

Frank turned this rage on the baby. Rowan’s earliest memories involve him being tied onto a tiny children’s chair for hours because Frank didn’t want him to make a mess in the house; Frank coming into the bedroom at night to ‘visit’ with him in a way that, to this day, has left Rowan extremely anxious about sex and sex repulsed; Frank holding his hand against a hot burner to 'teach [him] a lesson’ (Rowan was never told what the lesson was); having his face pushed under water in the bath to stop him from crying; and other acts that could only be described as torture. Rowan lead an extremely isolated life for the first several years of his life. He was homeschooled, like his mother, and besides Frank and a handful of Frank’s friends he was largely alone. Most of his socialization came from the television. Frank justified this by saying school was how Melissa got pregnant so he wouldn’t “make the mistake of sending another one there to be a slut.” Instead rowan was kept inside the house during school hours.

It had been noted that Frank was capable of abuse and neglect when Melissa was little (she had spent several months in the system when she’d come to school with visible bruises as a child), however, for the first 7.5 years of Rowan’s life, overworked and under-competent social workers consistently overlooked the abuse in the Webber household. Eventually one of the social workers noticed and cared enough to go through the proper procedures to get Rowan out of that living situation. She reported it to her supervisor and a full scale investigation was launched. The abuse was soon discovered through talking to and examining Rowan and Rowan was removed from the situation. For the first time in his life, he was safe – though Rowan did not know what ‘safe’ meant or felt like yet.

Rowan was given a temporary placement in the Green household, because, at the time, the Greens were acting as an emergency house for children who had just been taken away from their parents. He was only supposed to be with them a week but the Green adults fell in love with the skittish, self reliant child they had taken in. They asked for him to stay with them and began the process of adopting him soon after.  It took a long time for Rowan to realize he was safe and he was loved. For months he put up with people touching him because he was afraid that if he spoke out he would face some sort of punishment. For months he distrusted everyone in the Green household despite how much they loved him. He was always wary, always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to be hurt again. He was placed into therapy when he was young and has gone off and on since.

The Greens are a stereotypical homeschool family. Rowan was kid number 11, they own their own business and they bake their own bread. Mr. Green is a carpenter and Mrs. Green runs the little gift shop + bakery in Marietta. There were so many siblings that the older ones had to help care for the little ones when the younger ones were little. To this day the entire family is very close knit and the older siblings constantly rely on the younger ones to watch their children.

The Greens practice a form of schooling called unschooling. It is a child-led education where children get to decide what they study and when. Additionally, they’re what’s called whole-life unschoolers and the green parents take a stance on parenting where they don’t give their children orders. They talk to them and treat them as if they are capable of making their own choices and decisions, except when it is something that puts their health at risk.

Rowan thrives with that educational setting. He learned to read so he could use his brother’s computer, he learned math while cooking and found it fascinating so he learned it more in depth, he learned how to build robots and how to break into the coding of popular websites well enough that he even figured out how to monetize it when he was 12 (he tests websites for weaknesses and when he finds them he points it out and gets paid to do so). He learned how to play keyboard and guitar and began recording and publishing his music on Soundcloud and Youtube.

Within a few months of living with his new family, his new dad built him a beautiful, fully enclosed, treehouse in the large tree in their backyard. Rowan loved it so much he lived in it for almost a year only coming in to use the bathroom or on the most sweltering days when his family insisted he stay cool inside. He took his baths in the kiddie pool since he lived “outside in [his] own house now.”

Around this time he got a pirate costume and a knight costume. He changed his name to Rowan and began to trade off between wearing those two costumes. When he was in the knight costume he insisted on being called Brave Sir Rowan. When he was a pirate he insisted he was Cap’n Ro.

For a period of Rowan’s life you wouldn’t know he went through the abuse he went through. He seemed happy, healthy, well adjusted.

And then puberty hit.

With puberty came deep gender dysphoria. Suddenly his body was changing in ways he hated. He was developing curves and stopped growing. All the mental illness his family thought they had under control resurfaced along with a large new helping of self-loathing triggered by dysphoria.

Rowan began to self harm. It started small. He would lie in bed and fantasize about cutting off the parts of him that didn’t look right when he saw himself in the mirror. One night, he crawled out of bed and grabbed a kitchen knife and tried cutting his breasts just to see if it was possible. The scratch was so small it didn’t bleed. But, relief flooded through him. He was able to breathe and the crushing weight of dread had let up just a bit. He stopped crying and crawled back into bed and slept well for the first time in weeks.

Whenever he was upset he began to run to the sharp sting of a blade. He stole a pocket knife and a pack of razors and hid them in his treehouse. His family discovered the harm almost a year after he started. By then the little scratches had turned into proper injuries. He was immediately sent back to therapy and was diagnosed with gender dysphoria soon after. 

Rowan socially transitioned. It helped a little bit but pandora’s box was open. His brain had tasted self destruction and it was hooked.

The last several years have been a slow but steady spiral downwards. He made friends with other sad, breaking kids and they broke together. They began to experiment with alcohol and substance use young, Rowan would swear he’s fine but whenever you put alcohol in his hands he binge drinks to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. Whenever there’s a chance for him to get high off something new he takes it, barring only the most stigmatized of drugs.

Somewhere during this spiral he realized the easiest way to make people leave him alone was to scare them. So he began dressing in ways he thought would scare them and carrying himself like at any moment he could snap.

Personality:

“Sometimes I wonder what his life could have been if he had come to us as a baby and if we had known about his gender. You should have seen him when he was little. He was such a cute kid and was so passionate about, well, everything. And he’s so smart it’s intimidating. But then he hit puberty and we all lost what little stability he had. Last time I talked to mom, I heard he set a trashcan in the park on fire while he was drunk or high or both and it breaks my heart because I know he’s a good kid underneath it all. He’s just a good kid who’s really struggling right now. I hate it because I can’t even trust him to be alone with my kids anymore. What if that comes out around them and he hurts my crew?” – Clay Green, older brother.

“Rowan likes to act like he’s tough shit but he’s not. He can’t sleep unless he has his favorite stuffed animal with him and once I saw him crying over the sounds sloths make. The tough guy act is just that. An act. I mean, look at his cat. He only has the thing because he saw it was scared and got gentle with it. And now he’s the only person that cat tolerates and he has it perched in his tree house half the time so you can’t even go up there if you’re not him. Which, like, not cool when your little brother is practically sprinting to a drug addicted future and you really should be making sure he doesn’t have the worst of it in your parents house.” – Rosemary Green, older sister.

At first interaction it’s easy to think Rowan is all rough and ready to fight. And that’s exactly what he wants you to think. His fighter persona is designed to scare anyone who would hurt him away. Give him some time and a little patience and it becomes obvious that Rowan is much more complex than that. Rowan is confusing. There are so many elements to him that it’s hard for any one person to get a full picture of him.

There’s his brash fighter side – the part of him that stabbed a child for being mean to his sister once. There’s the sweet side of him that takes lost animals and lost people under his wing and cares for them when they can’t seem to care for themselves.

There’s the engineer part of him that builds useless robots constantly just because he’s bored. There’s the witch part of him that has an altar in his bedroom and that celebrates every pagan holiday he knows about so none of the gods feel left out.

There’s still a childlike part of him that hangs out in the tree fort his dad made him as a kid and still holds conversations between his stuffed animals. There’s the teenage part of him that’s looking for any substance to numb the pain of becoming an adult coupled with the pain of his past.

There’s the creative part of him that comes up with bizarre ideas for robots, off the wall pranks (like leaving loaves of homemade bread all over someone’s living space) and interprets almost every song he likes into his own version. And then there’s the part of him that named his cat “Cat.”

Rowan is nothing if not complicated and confusing. He doesn’t mind that though. He’s used to being the smartest person in any room he’s in but he doesn’t make it a big deal. He just watches everyone else and works on mentally figuring out how to fix the coding of whatever website he’s working on at the moment.

He doesn’t love easily but when he loves he loves deeply and unconditionally. If you find yourself lucky enough to be one of Rowan’s chosen few know you will have him on your side for life. He’s ride or die with everyone he cares about.

Hobbies:

Robotics

Singing (he actually has a really good voice)

Collecting stuffed animals

Programming

Baking (he works at a bakery but he also just enjoys it)

Sloths. They’re his favorite thing in this world and he is almost obsessive in his quest to see sloths, collect sloth mementos, and learn sloth facts.

Trivia:

Rowan has a car named Bloody Mary. It’s an old fashioned VW Beetle he spray painted black and red. He got a beetle because he “wanted to inspire violence in children.”

He’s really good with anything that uses his hands. Baking, playing guitar, building robots, etc. If it’s a hands-on, kinesthetic task Rowan excels at it.

He is terrified of butterflies and giraffes.

He collects stuffed animals so intensely that it can be hard to walk in his bedroom because there are so many stuffed animals lying around. He sleeps with a build-a-bear every night who he’s named Floyd and a stuffed animal of the Peanuts character Woodstock (who he has named Oscar).

Health:

Rowan downplays how he’s feeling most of the time. The physical abuse and neglect he faced as a child left him with chronic pain. He doesn’t mention it very often. He doesn’t want to admit to any weaknesses. If you watch him closely enough you’ll notice him rubbing his joints or squirming in his seat. Those are his biggest tells with his pain.

At 7 he was diagnosed with dyslexia and he still struggles to read and code (coding is worth the struggle, reading is not). At 13 he was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Besides changing his pronouns he doesn’t seem too interested in transitioning (he’ll tell you he doesn’t see a point but in reality he’s afraid of the medical procedures involved). At 15 he was diagnosed with mood disorder not otherwise specified. He was given medication that he promptly threw out but he still attends weekly therapy sessions to try and help.

He doesn’t think it’s doing anything but sometimes it’s just easier to go along with the things expected of you.

Connections:

Bandmates: Rowan can either be the lead singer, guitar or bass/keyboards but the band should definitely be punk/post-punk influenced. I’m super broad within that. Want a sound closer to Pale Waves? Cool, sounds good. You into The Smiths and want that dance depression? kk, you got it. you into old school punk and want melvins vibe? coolcoolcool, love to live hard dude

Friends: Rowan might be a little shit but he’s a little shit who has a handful of friends. Because he’s the youngest sibling in his household, he gets along with older people really well.

Mentors: This lost teen needs people to look up to. It takes a lot to break through to him but he needs someone who’ll try.

Adversaries: These are people who rowan Does Not get along with. This can be for personality reasons or just simply because they try to keep him out of trouble and he wants very much to be in trouble.

Biological Dad: I love the idea of Rowan’s dad watching from the sidelines and watching Rowan grow up but not being able to legally reach out until Rowan is an adult. NOTE: Rowan’s dad needs to be hispanic. Rowan himself is half hispanic and it’s not on his mom’s side bc I wasn’t about to make the brown people abusive and add to that stigma.

Reluctant Romance: Rowan doesn’t want to date. He really doesn’t. BUT! I love the idea of him falling for someone and someone falling for him. I’m even down for an uncomfortable age difference so long as that’s acknowledged in plot. ;)

[jimlingss]

The Deli Diaries [6]

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 [Finale]

➜ Words: 1.8k

➜ Genres: Fluff & Cuteness, That good ol’ slow burn, Slice of Life

➜ Summary: Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.

➜ Warnings: Mundane-ness that might make you bored to death

➜ Notes: i swear the story is moving...just...very slowly.

Your job sucks.   But it’s starting to suck less, especially when the microwave reads 2:00pm.   Right on the mark, you come strolling to the other side of the deli where your kind manager is putting away some of the orders that arrived a few minutes ago. “Hey, Serri. Is it okay if I go on my lunch break now?”   The old lady frowns in concern. “You haven’t eaten lunch yet? Yes, yes! Go right ahead.”   “I’ll be back in half-an-hour then, in time to package the chicken.” You’re ripping off your gloves and she nods, urging you to not worry about it and to go eat and refuel yourself. On the way to grabbing your bag, you wash your hands and rip off your hairnet, adjusting your black cap in the tiny mirror above the sink, trying your best to clean yourself up.   You nabbed a hat from your insane supervisor, having requested she order one for a few weeks now. The constant reminders annoyed her but it’s the only reason you have it now. For one, it’s completely free so why not. And secondly, you could hide your greasy hair and actually tame it from the long day of work. Plus, in this way, you can look less horrible for a certain someone.   “Hey, produce boy.” You run into that certain someone on the way to the staff room and he has his own bag slung on his shoulder. His brunette hair is ruffled, red apron clean, black shirt and pants appearing like it’s been ironed.   “Hey, deli girl.” Jimin smiles, still amused with the little nickname you gave him.   “Are you going for lunch?” You push the backdoor open for him and he says ‘thank you’ as he enters.   Mischief twinkles in his eye and he downcasts his head trying to hide the way the corners of his lips are upright. But Jimin can’t help himself and he steals another glimpse of you. “I am.”   “What a coincidence.”   Or more like the two of you have been syncing up your breaks every other day now.   The job was actually pretty nice now that you had a friend to share your meals with. It’s not like you could hang out with Yuna in the breakroom considering only one person at a time was allowed to leave the deli area. Plus, you found Jimin’s company surprisingly nicer than your phone or any youtube video you could scrape up using the shitty wifi connection.   “What are the odds?” He laughs and then opens the door to the room for you. This time, you’re the one saying ‘thank you’ as you enter and he follows behind.   “I know, right?” You giggle and then move to pop open the microwave, throwing the stolen chicken-pot pie into it and hitting a minute to heat it up. In the meanwhile, Jimin pulls out two chairs and begins setting up, putting a few napkins down on the table not to make a mess and taking out his sandwich that he always cuts into two nowadays.   Luckily, there’s no one else in the staff room, only one person who exits the washroom and beelines out, down the stairs, returning back to their job before time runs out.   As the microwave whirrs, you move towards the wall of postings, scanning each of them and looking for your center’s number. “Are you thinking of switching?” Jimin asks in curiosity, moving to stand beside you. “Bakery? Or are you gonna transfer to another store?”   “Psh.” You move away when you can’t find anything of interest. “Why would I leave this store when it’s literally a ten minute walk from my house? If I had to take the bus, I swear I’d be late and fired on the first day.”   He laughs and the microwave dings, causing you to open it and grab two plastic spoons from the dispenser. “Plus, I don’t think bakery is hiring for another two years,” you mumble as an afterthought. “Unless someone dies, they’re not gonna train anyone here. Those ladies have been working there for a loooooong time.”   “I guess you and deli are gonna be together till death do you part,” he teases while taking a seat and you take yours adjacent to him. You grumble at the thought of the deli being in your foreseeing future and he smiles, cracking open his water bottle to take a sip.   “Oh. I actually have something.” Your eyes light up when you remember and you dig into your bag, pulling out a ziplock. “It’s honey ham.”   “Again?” Jimin laughs, grabbing a piece to eat. “I thought you hated hams.”   “Yeah...but I cut too much for a customer earlier, so I took it with me.”   “Aren’t you going to get fired?” He questions while you pick up the half of his sandwich and take a huge bite of it. In turn, he grabs the spoon and begins to eat the chicken pot pie that you took.   “Maybe.” You shrug, not really caring if you get fired. At the moment, you’re more preoccupied with enjoying this food, unable to stop taking massive bites of Jimin’s sandwich. “Y’know, I’m not a big fan of sandwiches but this is pretty good. Did you make it yourself?”   “Yeah.” Jimin smiles, a bit bashful over the compliment. “It’s not that hard. I just have to toast the bread for a minute and spread a teaspoon of butter. I also spread some mayo on the other slice and I cut a tomato, put in a bit of baloney and sometimes egg. There’s some cheese and lettuce, pickles too….”   He admits, he might’ve upped his sandwich game ever since you started sharing a half with him.   “God, that’s already ten steps too much for me.” You steal another bite, appreciating the flavour more and more. “But how do you get it so it isn’t melted and squished in your bag.”   “Oh, I put it in the produce cooler when I get here.”   “Dude…..you’re awesome.” You flash a huge thumbs up, wholly impressed with how seriously he takes your lunches together. “I like how you think ahead. Meanwhile, I’ve had the same pot pie for four days now. I’m so sick of it.”   Jimin takes another scoop of the pie. “Why do you keep getting it then?”   “Well, you like it, don’t you?”   You say it nonchalantly but it hits Jimin and he tries to repress a smile, though failing to do so. “It’s not bad, but I’m really fine with anything.”   “You’re too nice, produce boy.”   He really doubts that, especially when he’s sitting next to you. But he doesn’t say anything about it. “How was work so far? Any cute kids? Any rude customers?” He takes another bite and swallows it down. “Any grease you want me to help pour out?”   You grin. “None yet….of any of that. But you might need to help me pour out some grease later. I call holding the door.”   “Deal.”   Really, it’s a deal that sucks on his end. Yet, Jimin insists he can pour the whole bucket of the icky liquid into the dumpster every time your shifts overlap. You don’t understand why he offers so much help to you.   Maybe he’s just an extremely nice guy.   “How about you?” You motion your head over to him. “Any people asking you grocery questions?”   “Yes.” He giggles and you can’t help but smile. “Many. At this point, I think I’m better at navigating the grocery section than some of the grocery people. Did you know rice pudding is next to the butter section? Who knew.”   You laugh with him, amused with all the times people ask him where things are and he has to navigate them through the grocery aisles that he doesn’t even know himself. Earlier you caught a senior citizen grasping at his arm instead of her walker, trying to find some almond powder. He flashed you one look and that’s all it took for you to start giggling while the customer in front of you thought you were absolutely insane.   “What time are you off?” You ask, dusting your hands off after finishing the sandwich and some of the pot pie.   “Six. You?”   “Six too. We can walk home together,” you note while standing, heading over to the fridge and freezer to take a peek. “Hey, want some ice cream?”   “What?” He looks at your mischievous expression when you turn around. “Sure. But does that belong to anyone?”   “No name.” You smirk to yourself, glancing at the front of the open box where there’s an absence of black marker labelling ‘do not eat’. “No name means a free for all. What flavour?”   “Any.”   You grab two at random, shutting the freezer door before tossing it to him. Jimin catches it one hand like a pro, putting on a smug expression when it was really due to luck and reflexes. You plop down in your seat again, peeling the wrapper open and discarding it.   Jimin watches as you eat and he backs up. “Wait. Hold on. You bite your ice-cream?”   “And you don’t?” You twist up your face as if you’re offended that he does something different.   “No, you monster.” His tongue pokes out, rubbing all over his cold treat which makes you scrunch your nose up in distaste. “It hurts my teeth too much.”   “It’s gross to lick it.”   “It’s weird to bite it,” the produce boy counters and you scoff. “What flavour do you have?”   “Vanilla. You?”   “Chocolate.” Jimin’s brow eyes light up in curiosity and his pupils flicker over to the treat in your hand. You can read him like an open book, already knowing what he wants before he asks. “Can I try?”

“Don’t lick it,” you respond immediately like it’s a reflex. But instead of placating you, the boy grins, his eyes crinkling into half moons, plump lips spreading into his chubby cheeks. He takes your hand, curling his fingers over yours and he pulls it closer to him, moving your entire body towards his direction. “Don’t! Jimin! Actually!”   But like the little shit that he is, his tongue rakes up the entire side of your ice-cream. He licks it with a laugh and pulls away. “It’s good.”   You narrow your eyes at him before leaning over faster than he can react. You bite the top half of his ice-cream off completely, and he cries out as fifty percent of his treat is devoured. You laugh evilly before screaming. Your brain freezes, aching painfully and it makes him hysterical.   Jimin folds in half, wheezing, as he watches you clutch your head in your other palm, gasping for air and yelling about how cold it is. Still, it was worth getting your revenge.