#he’s the yaoi devil like batman

[xketsuekix]

again with the accursed whiteboard doodles

[sakurai-ai]

I need to rethink my friends...

Don’t fret, my gorgeous, beautiful, fucking amazing online friends @dreamychick, @talaraleya, and everyone else who I speak to (I just talk to these two more regularly,)

I mean my only real life ‘in my face’ friend. Heurgh…

MCM Comicon will never be the same for me. And though I might be petty, I’ll let you decide (if you want to read)

Okay, so let me explain.

So MCM Comicon was this Saturday. And yes, it was fantastic and I had a blast and I bought soooo many things (many that I can’t show because about half of them are for a certain parabatai of mine) so I’ll just write about it instead.

Yeah, there’s a legit reason why I don’t have (any fucking) pictures.

Now, I woke up that morning, ecstatic, put on my Kageyama Tobio (Haikyuu) cosplay, and styled my hair (well, Kageyama had dark red hair instead of black….work with me here, I don’t do well with wigs), did my make up to look like him, and had pretty much everything down pat.

Got on the train and met a(n extremely tall) dude dressed as Ash Ketchum (Pokemon) and we were talking about the places we were going to hit when we got there.

He took a picture of me on the train platform, and I of him (which when I asked him if I could post it, he said no, so I’m going to go with his wishes – just imagine a tall dark haired European dressed in the blue jacket and the red hat – got it? Good.)

Got off the first train and Ketchum (no names will be stated, I will be using their character/cosplay names) finds his friends at Euston, and says that if we meet again at the convention, to hang out.

Meh, sure. Why not. He seemed pretty cool.

Anywhoo, I had to take 4 trains to get to the convention. One overground from my home town to London Euston, then the underground to Bank, then the DLR to Cannon Street, then the DLR again to Price Regent.

Not bad, because I met a child Kaneki Ken on the Underground, he was having some difficulty with the amount of people on the train and his tentacle things (which OMG looked amazing!) and his dad was kind of shielding him, and I was standing behind them, to help them out as well (because I know what that feels like, with and without the cosplay).

We all got off at Cannon Street, and that’s where I met Rin from Love Live, and Levi from Attack on Titan, and apparently, they had just started talking to me the entire way to the convention (they came with their parents, because they were hella young, and their mother was happy that there was another “responsible adult” taking care of them, and her other kid who didn’t cosplay was exitedly talking random theories with me. More like, my teacher instincts came and I was just looking out for them, without looking creepy)

So we got into the convention, and I saw the most adorable Yuuri and Victor (Yuri on Ice) I have ever seen, they were dressed in their final outfits, and had pretty flower crowns on. (my phone won’t allow me to post their picture, so I’ll try it later when I’m at a pc or laptop…fate doesn’t want me to post any pictures…its a sign!)

Waiting in line to check my bags, spoke to a Vaporeon, Sam and Dean, Ace Ventura and his crew, many more AOT characters, a Storm Trooper (in which I was saved by saying “I am not the droid you’re looking for”) and many others whom I don’t know their characters, but they were extremely nice, and we sang the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody and then the Pokemon theme song.

Unfortunately, my phone was in my bag, because my cosplay didn’t have any pockets, and the ones that were there on my jacket were small so my phone poked out, and I really didn’t want my focus to be on just my phone the entire time.

I really wished I had taken it out to take pictures, because some people were dressed so freakin amazing, cosplay up the wazzoo, and they were all so pretty.

I was entranced by a woman dressed as Mikazuki Munechika, and she was so precious. And then again by a man dressed up as Tony Stark (so Ironman without the entire suit) he had the arc reactor and everything!

‘But sakurai-ai,’ I hear you say, ‘this all seems like a lot of fun, why are you rethinking of your friends?’

Well, dear, it all went downhill after I met my friend.

The person I was supposed to meet to do the comicon together was odd throughout the entire ordeal. Let’s call him Lucifer (legit, that’s his name saved on my phone). And he hadn’t even bothered to cosplay, or wear a fan shirt – I mean, sure…whatever.

So the convention centre was planned out with a centre hallway that had all the restaurants and tables, confectioneries, etc, and there were two immense hallways on either side with the convention stalls. (like a butterfly, where the body is the restaurants and entrance exits, and the wings are the stalls). Got it? Good…

Our plan, go through everything on one side, take a break, get some lunch, and go through the other side and then double back if we wanted something.

Easy, and it worked until after lunch.

There were so many amazing stalls, all with so many cool and pretty things, and there were things there that I had never seen before, and I wish I had a chance to go back and go through them all again and really appreciate what they were. But thankfully I got all the business cards from each of the stalls I liked and will definitely go back to them later.

So, after lunch – in which I got noodles that did not taste like I had wanted them too, but then again the line was immensely long and I didn’t expect it to be fine dining. I was mellow. And saw a group of Harley Quins, who all looked amazing!!

Anywhoo, I am an avid Yaoi/BL lover (as you may have noticed) and I really was interested in the section that said ‘yaoi’, so I kind of beelined for that place, but it turns out I did not get a chance to look, let alone peruse, because Lucifer decided he wanted to check out the other section with his favourite things on it, and he didn’t want to leave me alone, because we “may get lost” – yeah, if I got lost, I’d call you.

So…thinking I’d get another chance to go back to that section, I followed Lucifer to the section he wanted to look at (which honestly, I have no interest in, he likes Transformers, and yeah, I like Mecha too, but not Transformers, never have, never will – I’m sorry for those who do, I understand the appeal, but I’d rather a Guymelef or a Gundam than a Transformer…don’t hate…) but I trudged along as he talked about Transformers to the counter dude, and he seemed excited for it. Who am I to stop him having a good time.

In that time I found a lot of other people who were dressed as Haikyuu characters, and we took a few pictures. I saw an Oikawa (yes, she looked hot…) and we took a few pictures. Then I met a legit amazing looking Kogetsunemaru and was like ‘Mikazuki is around here somewhere’, to which they were pretty excited about.

I saw a few Batmans, a few Darryls and their Lucille’s, and many, many, many other amazing cosplayers. And I rued that my phone was in my bag, because I really wanted to take pictures of them all.

After a half hour of that, where people took pictures of me (dude, if you’re out there and reading this, please tag me, I want to see you all again in your amazing cosplay glory!!) and I just was bedazzled by the greatness of these people and their commitments to their cosplays.

I scrounged the area around where I was, and honestly, I’m not a graphic novel reading person (as you may know) I do enjoy reading Grayson and Constantine, which my parabatai @dreamychick got me into. But other than that, I’m anime and manga all around. So not only did I not know who half of the characters were (other than the obvious ones, i.e. Batman, Superman, etc etc) I wasn’t interested in buying them.

Don’t get your pitchforks out just yet.

We all like different things, and that’s all okay!

Half hour passed, and Lucifer finally emerged from the depths of Transformers and we continued.

Here’s the kicker, whenever I was at a stall, perusing figurines and other things that I really wanted to get, he’d be like the devil on my shoulder, telling me that we wouldn’t have time to see everything else if we stayed in one place too long.

Ironic, since the guy spent the last half hour at a stall talking about Transformers, and then buying the smallest, dinkiest little thing from them. And yet, when I want to spent a few minutes looking at a figurine of Levi, or something, to make sure it looks cool and is cheap enough for me to consider buying, he pulls on my arm and drags me out.

Heurgh…

I need to take a moment to get my anger down…just a sec….

…

…

…okay, I think I’m okay.

I did, however, find the beautiful Mikazuki Munechika and Kogitsunemaru nendoroids and bought them, because they are the most adorable and cutest looking figures ever.

And I saw a Sugawara Koushi nendroid…people, I saw him, and he was rather cheap…much more so than I had seen online.

I went to tell the clerk I wanted him, I had him in my hand, really, I did…but then Lucifer dragged me off somewhere else and I had to put him down. I even told him I was thinking of buying it, and he said ‘we can come back to it later’.

Bad idea…

But I looked at the clerk and was like ‘please save it, I’ll be back’, but he was a business man, though he said he’d keep it to the side, I knew he’d sell it if someone asked.

Bye bye Sugawara Koushi nendoroid….

But look…graphic novels…yay…

Again, I’m not saying they are bad, they aren’t. Some of the covers I saw were damn hell amazing. And if I knew anything about them, I’d be all up in there.

But alas, I am not literate in graphic novels, so I really couldn’t enjoy it like it was supposed to be. 

And, I’m not used to reading comics from left to right, I’ve been programmed from right to left, sorry. And I didn’t learn kanji, hira and kata just so I could read English comics…

I’m sorry, I have nothing against them, I just don’t like them. (Mainly because they have too many interlocking story lines, many inside jokes and starting from the beginning will cost me my yearly salary for the next 10 years).

Back to the story.

‘Still,’ I hear you cry, ‘Lucifer just wanted to have fun too, he came to the convention centre to have fun too. He should get a chance to look!’

Sure, I agree, that was why I made sure he got a chance to see every single stall he wanted to for however long he wanted. Because I know he only wanted one thing, or one series of things, and he wanted to look at every single stall that would have semblance of that thing.

But, he would not let me get to see much of what I wanted to see.

I did, however, go back to the yaoi section, and literally just had a chance to go ‘oh look, Haikyuu doujinshi let me see–’ before I was pulled away again.

I had to push him back and tell him that I was going to buy something and he should either look somewhere else or just stand there and let me look.

Ever heard a grown man whine?

I have…it was rather pathetic. So I literally picked up what was already in my hand and said I’d get this.

So…so far, I had a Levi figurine, Mikazuki Munechika, Kogistunemaru nendoroids, a hell of a lot of business cards from the stalls I wasn’t able to look properly at, and a sad heart because when I went back for Sugawara…the guy had sold him.

Yup…

Also, Lucifer pees, like a lot. So I had a lot of time to sit outside the toilets (seven times in total….yeah….) and contemplate my new game plan.

Quick scan, see what I like, and impulse buy.

So we went on the other side and this side seemed to be for gamers and graphic novel lovers. But there was a comic village, which had a lot of manga – but no yaoi, and honestly, at the stalls they were all priced the same as they would be if I bought them from Waterstones back home, so I didn’t see the point. I perused while Lucifer went around the other way of the massive stall and saw the books he wanted.

I couldn’t stray too far, because the asshat would get lost.

We saw the TofuCute stall, and it was so adorable, but again, I was dragged through it pretty quickly, because it seemed that looking at plush and trinkets and cute things and snack items which I wanted to get!!! was something that was not ‘manly’ enough for Lucifer.

I did stop at a cute badge stall and told Lucifer to ‘fucking wait,’ or ‘go over to that stall, i think I see a Transformer there, do you have that one?’ and that gave me time to look at the badges, gush on how cute they were to the creator, and buy the ones that I liked enough – still an impulse buy, because I didn’t really get a chance to see much else on her stall.

What am I going to do with badges?

I did get a chance to look at the stall next to it and see small figurines, they were like an inch tall, so I got my OTP - Tsukkiyama (Haikyuu) and Rei and Nagisa (Free), and was looking at the other figurines, deciding which ones to buy. I came across a cheap Sawamura Daichi (Haikyuu) because the box was dented some, so the price came down drastically.

The dude let me do a quick check inside, and I saw the figurine was immaculate. And though I understand the need of the boxes (I adore having them. I know that they will be safe in their boxes in case I need to put my figurines away). So I quickly purchased him (still forlorn over Sugawara nendoroid…)

Lucifer came back with a fucking huge box in a bag, that must have cost over £100, and it was a Transformer – it looked cool, and the look on the guys face was happy.

So yeah, can’t dent on that.

We then spent the next 3 ½ hours going through the rest of the stalls, many of which I had no clue of – because honestly, I don’t have a PS4 or an XBox One (gasp, I know) so half of the characters on the games was something that went way over my head.

There were retro games and consoles being sold too, but what was the point if I didn’t have those, or didn’t want any of the games?

But Lucifer wanted to look, so I let him (after what seemed like the millionth bathroom break).

It was getting closer to closing time, and I had had fun, sure I didn’t get to see many of the things I wanted to see, the yaoi section was something we never visited again, because ‘yeah, I like Transformers and you like the boys love stuff. but I don’t like that kind of stuff, it makes me uncomfortable’

(Which is why I never speak of it in front of you, or mention it in conversations ever, and the fact that I told you constantly from three months prior to the convention that ‘if I see something related to yaoi or bl, please know that I’m going to want to see it, and if you’re in anyway uncomfortable, you can go look at something else while I look’. to which he had stated ‘sure’ on every occasion)

And even though I went to, and waited for you without complaint to every stall you went to, the fact that I wanted to stop at a (NON-YAOI/BL) stall was suddenly me taking up valuable time.

So, sure….that was one reason why I was rethinking my friendship with him, but it wasn’t something that would tip me to ‘no-friends’ territory.

I am an aphenphosmphobic, to all those who know and follow me, to those who do not, or just don’t know. That means I do not like people touching me. I get panic attacks, and on many occasions, have scratched my skin off wherever the person had (even accidentally) touched me, and bled out because of it.

And Lucifer knows that, and the fact that I am asexual and not looking for a relationship with someone where sex is the main factor (sure it can be a part of it, but its not the sole thing).

And sure, I know people can be affectionate, and all touchy feely, and I get that. I’d probably be the same if I didn’t have aphen.

However, the grabbing my shoulders, laying on my lap, pulling me close to them and expecting me to lay my head on their shoulders, holding onto my neck, trying to hold my hand (thankfully I had bags to hold, and did not put anything in my backpack, even though I knew I had enough space to do so). I did not give him permission to do so. And I had told him, countless of times I did not like it, even saying the words ‘please, don’t touch me, I don’t like it’ to him countless of times. i had even told him that my mother was getting me married off to someone (as a side thing when he asked how life was) and that I was happy with that (dreamychick, thank God for you and our pact)

The bugger didn’t listen, and just kept hugging me. I wasn’t giving off any vibe, or anything to state that I liked it, or that I was playing hard to get. I was stiff and uncomfortable every time he did so.

So much so, that even a large man who was dressed as some kind of viking or knight or something (I’m sorry, I don’t know your character, but THANK YOU) came up to me and took me away because he ‘wanted to get a picture with me because of my cosplay’.

He took me to the side and took a few selfies of us, but I knew he didn’t know my character. He even said ‘you looked like you needed help, don’t let him do things like that to you’.

Which again, thank you Mr. Shirtless Knight!

So ….favouring unfriendship-ness yet? No?

Well, how about this…

I met a really good looking Hinata. Remember, I’m dressed as Kageyama. And I really, really wanted to meet a Hinata and take a few Kagehina pictures. And this person comes out of the blue and kind of stumbles into me. (there are a lot of people, so it makes sense) so I turn, wanting to say sorry, but then I see what he’s wearing and I just can’t help myself.

So I say the famous line (note paraphrase!!) “There’s nothing scarier than hitting me in the back of my head, is there? In that case, you don’t have to be nervous because you’ve already done the scariest thing possible,”

The guy (who was tall for Hinata – but everyone is tall to me) gave me a ‘oh crap! Freaked out’ face, but then we started laughing.

And then he asked if we could take some pictures together. I gave Lucifer my phone and told him to take a few pictures too. And we did some cool moves and things like that. Then this other girl came and saw us (she was dressed in a really pretty maid outfit kind of dress) and she wanted to take some ‘kagehina’ pictures. So we did, it was so much fun, because I was shorter than he was, but we still had loads of fun doing it.

Then she asked us to try and do the ‘freak quick’, so we stood next to each other and I pretended to toss him the ball and he jumped up and pretended to hit it.

We had to do it a few times, and a small crowd of people had drawn in to watch, but then walked away just as quickly. Whatever.

We found a Nishinoya who stood behind us, and there was an Asahi who, even though we urged him to come into the picture, he came in for one and then left, because he had too many things in his hands.

And where was Lucifer??

Not taking pictures of this monumentally straight-out-of-fanfiction moment. Nope, the fucker had gone off to the comic village and was browsing through the comics there.

So for those people who took pictures, please, please, please send them to me! Because I am in desperate need of a reminder why comicon is the fucking best.

So the day did not stop there.

Oh no, Lucifer had one more ace up his sleeve.

If any of you live in London, or are familiar with London rail map, you’d know that London Euston and Kings Cross St. are like 2 minutes (aka one stop) away from one another. And that Prince Regent is three trains away from it.

But my mate Lucifer wanted to go to Westfield Centre for dinner, aka Stratford International. So me, being a complete loon, thought ‘sure, we can get something from a restaurant is Westfield, then we’ll both take the trains back to Euston and Kings Cross (respectfully) and then be on our merry ways home on either side of the country.

Easy right? We did this every time.

Woe is me, who forgot that Stratford International has SouthEastern trains as well. Which is he train that he takes to go home. I feel like such a fool.

So not only did I have to scrounge up the last parts of my saving for that weekend because the fucker bought the massive Transformer, which he had had to lug everywhere, and therein we were not able to fully appreciate all of the stalls we wanted to go back to, and that also meant we took twice as many breaks as before.

But his card stopped working, so I had to pay for his dinner. Which, thankfully he has still hasn’t paid me back. But I’m dealing.

I wasn’t even hungry, I had eaten a few snacks I had brought with me, downed the water and was eager to just get home, and eat my sandwich I had saved, on the train from Euston onwards, and get home to my mums cooking.

But, nah. I guess. I had Chicken Katsu Curry Don (I am the tastiest chicken cutlet bowl!) which was tasty, once you got over the whole ‘it’s burning my mouth and its not at all chilli’ thing.

Somewhere to take @dreamychick when she’s here!! Hint hint.

The dude got up, I got up too, still eating (because I eat slow….) and he said ‘today was fun, I’m going to head home now’ and then hugged me (when I had told him not to) and then just fucking up and walked off.

I felt like a cheap whore, who had given the guy a great time only to be thrown aside.

I felt ew…

THANKFULLY, I navigated my way from Westfield (which I had only ever been into once like 15 years ago, and had gotten there by car), I had to find the DLR get to Cannon, take the underground circular, then the underground northern, to get to Euston (that was an hour because of the rush), and then get the overground from Euston to MK – where I live.

Once I got out of underground, I saw all the amazing notifications my best friends @dreamychick and Masa gave me, wishing me a great day and things like that, or just telling me about their day, and that stopped me from crying.

I never cry…not really. But they honestly don’t understand just how meaningful they are in my life.

I came home, dead tired, my legs aching from all the walking. I showed my mother all the cool figurines I got, and my dad said he’d put up a new shelf for me to put them all on. (which is good because…kids come into my room and they break shit – my Levi and Eren nendoroids don’t even stand anymore… cry)

I was too tired, that I went to sleep early.

The next day, I kept my fast (month of Ramadan, so Ramadan Kareem to all those celebrating it!) and made all of my figurines.

No shelf yet.

But I spent the day doing nothing…went shopping for groceries and just had a ‘rest’ day.

Should I be rethinking my friendship with Lucifer after all that? Or is it all just me?