#he's so fint can you blame me

[mibexe]

I believe my favourite may be a bit obvious... Fakir, despite past regrettable experiences, is still easy to fluster, especially when you're someone so kind as Kuras. Looks certainly help too.

[horoyois]

the heavy-handed husband | knj

pairing: reader x namjoon

word count: 883

genre: fluff

summary: you have to explain to your husband how things work in his own house. part of a series of quarantine events.

a/n: this is the official opening for quarantine week with lum! seven days, seven drabbles (hopefully hehe), seven sweet boys. there’s a Friend’s reference in this one, i think is pretty obvious, but jic you fint that dialogue weird. as always, thank you so much for reading and please don’t be a silent reader!

“Baby, where do we have the spray thingy we normally use to clean the bathtub?”

You sigh. It’s the eleventh time your husband asks something alike in the last thirty minutes. This is getting annoying for several reasons now. For starters, with we he means you, because he doesn’t normally do chores. Main reason of why he’s absolutely clueless right now.

Quarantine has been wonderful… marriage-wise. You’ve spent a lot of time with Namjoon, time you normally lack. You’re finally done with that Netflix show you two have been trying to finish since last year. You two have been planting and gardening together to help you connect with nature. You’ve spent an entire day cuddling in bed, although Namjoon was not especially keen on that. Your quarantine checklist has been getting shorter as days pass, and you have been dreading this day since you two decided how to manage your locked up days. 

When Namjoon proposed confidently that you should “totally do a spring-cleaning together” you knew this would happen. You don’t blame him at all, he’s a busy man and your job gives you freedom enough to take charge of the house and all that it involves. And you don’t mind, really, because you are all for that homey shit. Yes you do the cooking, yes you do the cleaning.

What really gets into your nerves, though, is absolute negligence. And that’s the only thing your husband has been portraying since he burnt the toast and the toaster this morning. You’ve been explaining thoroughly how do you usually clean the house, and not only has he retained an entire 1% of the information you gave him, but he’s also doing whatever the fuck he wants with your cleaning products. And you can’t have that. Not on this household.

“You mean the bathtub cleaner?” You’re being mean and he notices. He exists the bathroom, glasses sliding slightly down his nose, sweatshirt sleeves rolled up and shorts letting his thighs all out. Why does this motherfucker have to be so sexy and so annoying at the same time? And you married him. He looks surprised and you get even more annoyed because he shouldn’t be this cute while I’m angry at him. “It’s right where I told you yesterday that we have all the cleaning supplies? What are you using it for?”

“I was gonna use it for the sink since you told me that-”

“I told you that it is specifically for the shower, Namjoon. Not the sink, not the toilet. The shower and the bathtub only.”

He furrows his brows and looks at you, “Why are you being so bitchy, don’t do that,” He runs to you with the used cloth on his hand, droplets of dirty water finding their way to your newly-cleaned parquet floor. His long arms round your waist, pulling you closer, and he kisses your hair gently, “See? We’re bonding.”

You have decided to commit murder.

 “Listen, Joonie,” You’re pushing him gently to get him off you. This way you can look him directly into the eyes and let him see that you’re not that mad, just a little bit annoyed. You wish he’d appreciate your effort to sound soft. You should really work better on that, though. “I love you with all my heart, but your big clumsy ass is getting on my big neat freak ass’ way.” He stifles a laugh with the back of his hand. “I don’t mind explaining you how do we do things around here at all, but please, no free will on my cleaning routine. I don’t like things clean, I like them Monica clean, and I know you get what I mean. So now sit your juicy ass down and watch me clean, I’m pretty sure I look sexy while I’m at it, and maybe later we can water plants together between tender kisses and actually bond without exalting my murderous instincts.”

He opens his eyes widely at your discourse, and decides to protect his marriage (and life) by doing as you say and sitting down on the sofa. He watches as you bee line around the house with a thousand and thirty different products, one for each corner and some. He observes amusedly and waits until you’re done. You plop yourself down right beside him and make grabby hands at him, making him laugh softly at you as he sits down a bit to let you cuddle into his chest.

“I almost died, right?”

“Absolutely.” His laugh is a little bit rougher now, as if he can’t believe how much of a freak you actually are. You hit his shoulder playfully. “Don’t laugh, murdering you would be a pain in the ass, cleaning blood stains from the rug and all.”

He snorts. After a bit more of playful banter, you both fall on a comfortable silence, exhaustion weighting on you both as you sigh softly and kiss his jaw. 

“Hey,” he says in a whisper so quietly that almost gets lost in between deep breaths, “Thank you for doing this every time for us. It’s nice, you know, seeing how you work so hard to make this house feel more like a home.”

You smile sweetly and sit down a bit so you can kiss his lips.

“My pleasure, Joon”.