[TRANS/MAGAZINE] star1 June 2019 Issue Interview with Chen (14Q)
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Headliner: June, and Chen
Our radio star who soothes the exhausted minds
Chen’s voice is filled with warm comfort
source: x
translator: jen
please do not repost!
To read as text only, keep reading!
Chen, who blossomed after 7 years
Member of EXO, EXO-CBX, lyricist, and strong (t/n: as in doing well on music charts) OST singer. Chen has several great titles, but he never half-heartedly does anything. Chen, who gained a syndrome-like (t/n: unprecedented) popularity as soon as he debuted due to his intense performance that made girls’ hearts flutter, matured as a solo artist capable of consoling the public’s hearts with only his relaxing ballads after constant quenching (t/n: metaphor for hard work). We met Chen, who bloomed his own gorgeous flower with his first album ‘April, and a flower’ after 7 years since debut.
April of (this) spring was a busy month for you.
I had an EXO-CBX special edition concert left to do, so as soon as I was finished with my first solo album promotions, I left for Japan and prepared for the concert. This April, I was very productive, from solo activities to subunit performances. After coming back to Korea, I had a full day of rest, had dinner with all the members, and had a fun time.
It took 7 years for your solo debut. What kind of mentality did you have when first preparing for the album?
I was able to release my solo album way sooner than I had expected. Because I knew my weaknesses better than anyone else, I wanted to work on those weaknesses and show a more matured, perfect appearance. However, at some point, I realized that there’s (just) no end to improving my flaws. I thought that I shouldn’t put it off any longer and decided to seriously prepare for it and experience it first-hand. I told the company thinking that if I felt like I was lacking something, I’d just learn, practice, and improve in that area as I go.
On the outside, you don’t seem to have any flaws.
The first thing I realized I was lacking was the ability to sing a full song that’s almost 4 minutes long by myself. When in a group, you only get to sing a part of a song, but because I was alone, I struggled to just keep the flow going. It was hard for me to decide (the answer to) “What kind of music do I want to do?”. I’ve been asking myself that question for a long time since there is so much breadth to music. I think it took me a while to figure out what I wanted among (those wide range of options).
It’s also unique that your album only consists of ballad songs. We expected there to be fast-paced tracks since you are also good with dance songs, as an EXO member.
It was an answer to the question ‘What kind of music do I want to do?’. What I really want to do with music, rather than just singing the song that’s given to me, is convey the message and the emotions through that song. And I thought that ballad would be a good genre to do so. It was my intention to put only ballad tracks on the album, but there’s something that wasn’t done on purpose. I didn’t know that all the songs would be about breakups. I collected the songs while thinking that I wanted to convey the feeling of consolation, and it just happened. I think I’ll look for more love songs to put on my next album (laughs).
Since you’ve had great accomplishments as an EXO member, when you announced your solo debut, people were very interested and had high expectations. Did you feel any pressure or responsibility from that?
Of course. Since I was going to be the first EXO member to release a solo album in Korea, I felt pressured and a sense of responsibility. I thought hard about how to create an album that would meet everyone’s expectations. While I was preparing for the album, I spent so much time thinking about it, and my attitude slowly changed. Even though I feel thankful that people have high expectations about me, rather than trying to change to meet those expectations, I thought that it would be better to just show my true self. I wanted to show a fresh and true image, different from the old one I’ve built up thus far.
You also wrote the lyrics for the track ‘Flower’. It feels like you are a very emotionally sensitive person.
The key word for this album was comfort, and I think there are different types of comfort. For example, comforting someone who just went through a breakup or comforting a friend. I wanted to bring those different types of comfort into one. I was wondering what would be their common ground and came to a conclusion—time. With time, any pain or thought bugging you shall fade. I wrote about the seasons as a metaphor for time. I think it’s impossible to always be happy and to only experience good things in life. I wanted to say let’s have faith because even though at some point, the flowers will fall off and everything will pass, whenever a new season comes, you’ll find new hope and the flowers will start to bloom one by one.
I think the making of an album is similar to a flower blooming. Do you think your flower bloomed beautifully?
I think the flower turned out to be more beautiful than I had imagined. Whenever I am introducing my album, I get all the spotlight from saying that I participated in writing lyrics, but all I did was just write lyrics and sing. This album release was possible because everyone, company employees, the director, and staff, worked together. When preparing for this album, I was able to experience first-hand some of the things I didn’t really know about. So I think this album came out to be more meaningful and cool.
How was working with Paul Kim, the composer of ‘Sorry not sorry’?
I am a huge fan of Paul Kim. I made a request through the company, and he gladly agreed to help. I was worried at first about whether I would be able to sing his song well since he’s famous for writing emotional songs. So I practiced even harder, and ultimately Paul Kim also really liked the result. It was such a relief. I was able to form a nice relationship (with him) from working on this song (together). I would like to work with him on another good song next time.
You ranked first on the Korean music charts and on the iTunes charts in 33 different countries with your first solo album.
I was so surprised because I didn’t expect that at all. I felt really pressured in the early stages of album preparation, but after I changed my mindset and put down the burden to focus only on showing my true image, I didn’t feel pressured to do well on the charts or have high expectations. I think I’m starting to feel pressured now that I have received such good results. I’m happy to have that burden and to have these worries. I’ve started to worry about (the question) “How else can I show my true self?”.
After this album, you received the title of ‘Trust and Listen to Chen’. Is there any reaction (t/n: literally, evaluation) that left an impression?
I’m embarrassed, and it feels strange to be called by any nickname. I don’t search up reviews or comments either. I don’t want to become arrogant or change, so I don’t go looking for reactions online. I want to improve by just silently trying my best to to do things that I want to do.
I think your charming points are your clean vocals, strong high notes, and stable voice while singing live. In your opinion, what are the strengths your voice has?
While preparing for this album, “What exactly are my strengths?”, “Is it that I have a higher vocal range than others?”—I thought about (these questions). I honestly have never felt satisfied with my voice. Even when I try my best, when I listen back to the recordings, a lot of them still make me I think, “Why did I sing like that?” I don’t have anything I can call my strengths at this moment. However, I do have a goal for the future: I want to be someone who can convey sincere emotions without being too decorative (t/n: being excessive/overdoing it).
What motivates you to continuously show colorful charms of yourself, as a member of EXO, EXO-CBX, and soloist Chen?
I think having alone time is important. Like my nickname ‘homebody’, I recharge by taking some time for myself. I am in a position where I need to give people energy, and since I’m always meeting with people in my everyday life, I rest like a phone recharging in a quiet, relaxed environment. When I make a mistake on stage and feel stressed, or even when something bad happens, I try to ease my mind on my own and I’m able to overcome it. Only then can I work on my next task without anything holding me back.
This year it will have been 7 years since EXO debuted. What does EXO mean to Chen?
It really feels like family. When you’re working as a team with different members, some members are going through an enthusiastic phase, and others are going through a phase where they feel like taking a break... For being understanding, considerate, and willing to guide each other despite our differences, I want to say thank you to the members who have been running together (with me) up until now. They’re so dear to me like actual brothers.
Leader Suho said, “We are so happy whenever the fans say ‘thank you for being EXO’. I want to be an EXO member in my next life”. Do you feel the same way?
If I could be an EXO member in my next life, that would be really great. One of the happiest things I was able to experience as an EXO member is being able to meet so many good people. Our members, managers, staff, and of course, our fans. Being in EXO, I’ve only met good people. It always feels so nice to hear the fans’ message of ‘thank you for singing’. The fact that there are people who like my singing means that you have their approval. More than anything, that’s what really motivates me to keep going.
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Hey. Good evening! 😘 Well i was wondering if you are still accepting prompts? Coz i have one right now that i really like. .you know the song NEVER ENOUGH from THE GREATEST SHOWMAN?I'm listening to it these past few days and i really loved it! Can you please do one bechloe shot about it? When you have time? I don't really care how you would do it coz knowing you, I'm sure you would nail it! Thank you so much! ❤❤😘
Thank you for the compliment :D Sure, I’d love to. Here you go.
The room was dark, the only source of light coming from the window as the moon climbed higher on the sky. The streets below them were silent as they laid on the bed, thin sheets covering their naked bodies. Beca stirred in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes.
She blinked tiredly and drag her hand down her face, rubbing her eyes. A smile blossomed on her face as she remembered the last couple of hours. The joyous smile and hug she received from a certain redhead, the car ride filled with charged energy and the moment the door closed behind them.
She’s been away for months on her tour and yesterday when her plane landed in New York City, she didn’t waste a second running into Chloe’s arms. Their relationship still a secret to the public eye, the couple quickly left the airport and Beca’s annoying manager behind to steal as much time as she could before she had to go again.
She dreaded reaching over to the nightstand and checking the time, knowing exactly how much time she had left to spend it with her. She dreaded leaving the comfortable apartmant they claimed their own and the life she envisioned if she wasn’t a star.
But she pushed those thoughts away, refusing to spent it with worrying about the inevitable. Instead, she turned her head to the side and smiled softly.
Her girlfriend’s beautiful face mere centimeters away from hers, lips slightly parted as she exhaled, the air hitting Beca’s cheeks. She slept peacefully, her red hair spread across the pillow case and her fist tucked under her chin.
Beca sighed contently and softly gazed her fingertips on Chloe’s jaw line. The girl twitched at the touch and blinked her eyes open, blue eyes boring into Beca’s.
“Hi.” She murmured sleepily, smiling at the brunette and shifting closer until their bodies touched. “How’d you sleep?”
Beca smiled fondly as Chloe laid her head on her shoulder. “Better than I have in the last month.” She said seriously. “I missed you.”
Chloe pursed her lips together and glanced away before planting a kiss on her bare shoulder.
“I missed you, too. It isn’t the same without you.”
Beca swallowed. “I know. It’s two more months and I’m done. The tour’s going to be over and I’m coming home.”
Chloe’s eyes glazed over as she remembered all the lonely nights she spent in their bed, wishing Beca would just appear at the door, promising to stay there forever.
Beca’s heart ached at the struggles they had to go through because of her dream. The room fell silent again as they got lost inside their heads, thinking about what they could do different.
Beca sighed again and lowered her lips, pressing a kiss against Chloe’s forehead and held her breath. If it was up to her, she wouldn’t let this moment end.
She adjusted their position and pulled Chloe closer, hugging her to her chest. She intertwined their fingers and took a deep breath.
“Be here with me.” She whispered softly and felt Chloe squeeze her tighter.
Eventually, they couldn’t ignore the alarm clock anymore and Beca reluctantly climbed out of the bed to shower. When she walked back inside the room dressed, Chloe was still under the covers and gazing out into the space. Beca frowned and braced herself on her hands as she leaned over the bed, kissing Chloe’s lips softly.
“I’ll be back soon.” She promised quietly, sweeping a strand of red hair behind her ear. Chloe tried to appear happy, smiling widely at Beca but the brunette could see through her. With last one lingering kiss, Beca left the apartment behind - left Chloe behind - and went downstairs to the car waiting for her.
The studio was buzzing around her as she entered her dressing room and sat down in front of the vanity fair mirror. James, her manager sat on the couch, going through his phone paying her no mind as the glad team started working on making her look presentable.
Beca long threw that theory out the window.
Bella, the make-up artist puffed out a breath and swept her thumb under Beca’s eyes.
“I told you to have a good night sleep. Now, look at those bags under your eyes.”
Beca smirked and wiggled her eyebrows. “Blame Chloe.”
Bella shook her head but couldn’t stop the small smile appearing on her face.
“I need to talk to you about that later before you go on.”
James’ voice rang out suddenly from behind her. Beca stared at him through the mirror as her face hardened. Everybody in her team knew about the relationship they shared but it didn’t mean everybody approved of it. After hearing so many negative comments, Beca grew protective of their love and wouldn’t let anybody talk shit about them.
“If it’s about Chloe, you’ll talk to me about it now and not later.” Beca stern voice stopped everybody in their work and with a pointed gaze, left the partners in the room alone.
James sighed, lowering his phone onto his lap. “It’s not about Chloe, per say. It’s about you and your commitment to your carrier.”
“I think, I’ve been plenty committed.” Beca fought back, thinking about all the holidays, birthdays and overall moments she missed because of her carrier. “I’ve done anything the label asked of me even if I didn’t want to. I can’t do this much longer, man. I think, I need a break.”
At the mention of break, James stood up from his seat with a bewilderment expression. “You can’t do that now. The label wants to expend the tour, Beca.”
“What?” Beca’s eyes widen.
James nodded. “Yeah, for another year. It’s too much money to pass out on.”
Beca shook her head as she glanced to the ground. “I - I don’t…I don’t know.”
An assistant chose that moment to poke her head inside the door with a binder. “Five minutes until showtime.”
“Thank you.” James nodded toward her before turning back to Beca. “Just think about it.” He insisted gently.
Beca ran her fingers through her hair frustratingly as James left her alone. She looked in the mirror and felt the tears building behind her eyes.
She didn’t know what to do.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my guest, Beca Mitchell!”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before she walked on stage. The crowed cheered loudly as she grabbed the microphone stand and the song started to play.
I’m trying to hold my breathLet it stay this wayCan’t let this moment end
She though about this morning when she would’ve give anything to stop the time. Stop it from taking her away.
You set off a dream in meGetting louder nowCan you hear it echoing?
Oh, how her dreams have changed since she knew Chloe. Long gone was the thirst for fame and recognition, what was left behind was wanting a simple life. To go home at the end of the day and found Chloe waiting for her instead of an empty hotel room and tell her about her day. To go out on dates and not be bothered by strangers every few seconds.
‘Cause darling without you
All the shine of a thousand spotlightsAll the stars we steal from the nightskyWill never be enoughNever be enough
She opened her eyes and saw the audience sing along to the words, not realizing how meaningful those were to Beca.
She was at the top of her carrier. Her debut album went number one on the charts the minute it was released, earning her fame and enough money to live comfortably. Her fans were dedicated and loyal, loving her and supporting her fiercely.
She knew it should’ve been enough for her.
Towers of gold are still too littleThese hands could hold the world but it’llNever be enoughNever be enough
But it wasn’t. Not without Chloe.
She smiled. She knew what to do.
Chloe snuggled deeper into the blanket on the couch as she channel surfed the TV. She sighed when she walked through the door after work, finding the apartment empty again. She didn’t know how long she could do this. She loved Beca with all her heart but the distance were killing her.
Killing them.
She let out a breath as she caught sight of her girlfriend on the screen, performing her song she heard many times. She smiled sadly at image, wishing more than anything that she was with her.
Suddenly the ringing door bell stole her attention and Chloe got up. She walked slowly to the door and opened it.
Her breath caught in her throat at the sight.
Beca was standing at the threshold, holding a bouquet of flowers in both hand with a smile gracing her lips.
“Beca - “
“I talked to James that I can’t do this anymore and I quit.” Beca said straightforward with confidence before she lowered her gaze to the floor. “All that bullshit means nothing to me if you’re not around. I’m so sorry that I put you through this. It wasn’t fair to you that I kept leaving so I just - “
Her rumbling were cut off when Chloe finally found the strength to move and she surged forward, crushing their lips together passionately. Everything happened so fast, Chloe tried to make sense of it all.
Pulling back slightly, Chloe felt the tears running down her cheeks as she whispered.
“What are you saying?”
Beca kissed her again, lingering for a while before she looked deep into Chloe’s eyes.
“I’m staying forever.”
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The Underwear Incident
Bechloe Week Day Two - Jealousy
Summay: Beca Mitchell is one of the most famous music artists in America. She gets a lot of attention from her fans, which occasionally makes Chloe a little jealous... established Bechloe. For Bechloe Week Day 2 - Jealousy.
Word Count: 3.9k
AO3 and FFN
Chloe isn’t quite sure how her life got to this point. If someone had told her seven years ago that Beca “I don’t even sing” Mitchell would one day sign with DJ Khaled to headline a national tour, she would have laughed in their face.
Moreover, if that same someone had told her that one day, she’d be dating that grumpy little alt girl, she’d never have believed it.
But now, as she watches from backstage as Beca commands the entirety of the St. Paul Target Center arena, her lips still tingling from the kiss they’d shared before Beca started her show, she wouldn’t change a thing.
It was the eleventh performance of her nineteen-date national tour and Beca seemed to be savoring every minute of it. Chloe smiled to herself at the roar of the audience, warmed up by opener Hayley Kiyoko. They loved Beca. Why wouldn’t they? Beca is so loveable, her beautiful features and breathtaking vocals only accentuated by the theatrical stage lights and the slight echo of the sold-out stadium.
Beca’s eyes flash, as they often do, to her at the side of the stage. Like always, Chloe sees the dumbfounded ecstasy Beca feels at having actual fans showing up at her concerts. And, like always, Chloe grins back her endless support, having chosen to accompany Beca on her tour before beginning her semester at vet school. She knows Beca appreciates having her there to ground her.
As Beca’s fourth song of the night ends, a group of fans in the front row tosses a bouquet of roses on stage. Chloe sees Beca’s smile widen even further as she stoops to sweep the flowers into her hands. She leans in to smell their perfume, grinning, and says into the mic, “For me? Thanks, they smell amazing! I’ll just set them here for now.”
She turns to place the bouquet delicately near the back of the stage where they will be safe from her movements and dancing. As she does, Chloe spots another fan, a teenage boy, leaning forward, holding out what looks like a piece of paper.
Beca reaches over the heads of her security team to grab it. Chloe smirks; Beca had always wondered at the necessity of having security and often did things like this just to annoy them.
“Holy shit, this is beautiful,” Beca says for the arena to hear as she examines the paper. She holds it up to cover her face so the screens can see it and broadcast the image. The boy had drawn Beca’s likeness extremely well, somehow capturing the light shining from her dark eyes.
“Absolutely gorgeous,” Beca compliments again, and Chloe can see from the smile that overtakes the boy’s face that she’s just made his day. Beca turns again to take the art to safety, catching Chloe’s eye and dropping her mouth open in a look of utter awe. Chloe merely smiles back and shrugs. She loves how kind Beca is to her fans, as if she still can’t believe they’re all there for her.
“Thank you guys so much!” Beca calls once the art is safely stored with the flowers. The crowd roars, her fans screaming in support.
“I think, as some extra thanks, I’ll sing a new song I only just finished writing.” Even louder screaming follows her announcement, and Chloe laughs as Beca has to wait for the tsunami of noise to die down before she can speak again.
“It’s called ‘Your Body,’ and I’ve never performed it live like this before, so bear with me.”
She glances to the side at Chloe to ask permission and Chloe nods her assent. Beca had written the song for her during the first leg of her tour.
“It’s for someone pretty important to me,” Beca continues over the sound of even more screaming. “You know who you are.” She grabs the mic stand and uses it so that her hands are free.
Chloe smiles at the sentiment. Their relationship is, at this point, a secret. It had been Beca’s idea to hide her identity, not wanting the media or intense fans to pursue Chloe or interrupt their privacy. Of course, there were countless rumors online and in the tabloids about who Beca might be involved with; anyone from Tom Hiddleston to Hayley Kiyoko herself were considered possibilities, much to both her and Beca’s amusement.
As the opening slow notes of the song play, a hush falls over the arena. Beca begins what is probably the sexiest song ever, at least in Chloe’s opinion. Beca’s lyrics ring out, full of the love and lust that describe their relationship perfectly.
Chloe shivers, awed by how different the song sounds belted out on stage as opposed to sung softly in her ear while in bed. Her eyes rake up Beca’s body, lingering on the slow, sensual twist of her hips and the flexing of the lithe muscles that stand out under her skinny jeans. The back of Chloe’s neck warms when her gaze rests on Beca’s hands, twisting and moving in the air without hindrance of the microphone, as she recalls vividly what those hands are capable of. Beca’s eyes are closed, the look on her face one of complete concentration, her perfect lips forming every word of the song so tenderly it makes Chloe’s heart ache.
Beca looks both absolutely beautiful and incredibly sexy at the same time and Chloe finds herself staring, admiring her girlfriend’s entire being.
However, it seems she’s not the only one admiring Beca in that moment.
A sudden movement catches Chloe’s eye, shattering her concentration on Beca. Her attention shifts instead to the front few rows of the audience, specifically to an arm raised back and poised to throw something small on stage. The arm shoots forward, the hand releasing the object, and Chloe watches the gift to Beca fly through the air, twisting over other fans and over Beca’s security to land on the stage near her feet. Chloe cranes her neck to see what it is. When she finally does figure it out, her stomach twists painfully.
It’s a lacy black thong, clearly a piece of lingerie. Someone had thrown their panties on stage at Beca. While Beca was singing an incredibly sexy song. Written for Chloe.
Um. No.
Chloe searches the audience for the culprit, finally spotting her. There’s no mistaking her; the girl is grinning proudly, unembarrassed even as others in attendance turn to stare at her. Her eyes are focused on Beca, clearly waiting for some sort of response. Chloe’s jaw clenches in anger. The girl is gorgeous. And she’s a redhead.
Chloe tries to shove down her immediate jealousy, knowing instantly that she’s overreacting. It’s just another intense fan, no big deal. Besides, Beca’s probably really weirded out by it. She’s not usually the type to enjoy something so forward.
She looks back to Beca, expecting her to ignore the panties entirely. However, Beca, finally catching sight of the garment, raises her eyebrows in surprise and smiles awkwardly at the girl who threw them. Then, without pausing her singing, Beca bends down to snatch up the thong, twirling it around her finger a few times before tucking it into a front pocket so that it hangs out for the whole arena to see. Then, she winks directly at the girl.
The air rushes out of Chloe’s lungs. Her first reaction is one of mild disgust. Who knows where those panties have been? Well, actually, she has a pretty good idea, and ew. Beca needs to wash her hands, like, now.
However, her disgust is almost instantly shoved aside by furious disbelief. Her Beca just put some other girl’s underwear in her pocket. No. Unacceptable. Now that girl is probably getting all sorts of mixed messages, especially because Beca’s relationship status isn’t officially known. How dare Beca do that? No. Just no. Did Beca forget who she was dating? Is that all it takes? Some lacy panties tossed up on stage during a sexy song? During her sexy song?
Chloe sees red. She’s so angry that all she can do is glare at Beca, who finishes the song only to sing three of her other chart-topping hits immediately after. Chloe barely hears them, blood still pounding in her ears. She knows Beca keeps glancing at her, confused by the death glare she’s transmitting, but she can’t bring herself to stop. Beca should know by now how jealous she gets.
“Okay, I’m going to turn it over to an instrumental piece I composed and produced a while ago, so hang tight and I’ll be back soon!” Beca’s voice, resonating over the arena, crashes into Chloe. Beca’s taking her usual intermission about three songs earlier than she normally does.
Chloe looks up to see Beca jogging off stage and directly toward her, concern written over her flushed and slightly sweaty face. Chloe raises an eyebrow, waiting. Beca has some explaining to do.
“Chlo, you okay?” Beca asks when she arrives next to Chloe. “You’re looking a little off.”
“Oh, am I?” Chloe fires back, taking satisfaction in the way Beca hesitates before responding.
“Yeah, um, you look kind of pissed.”
“Hmm, I wonder why,” Chloe spits, feeling her temper rise again. No way can Beca be that clueless.
Except – “Um,” Beca says quietly, looking lost. “I wonder why, too.”
Chloe raises her eyebrows imperiously and gestures sharply down at Beca’s pocket, from which the offensive black thong still dangles. Beca’s gaze follows her point, and Chloe can tell from her puff of breath that she’d forgotten the panties were still there.
Beca looks up at her sheepishly, but Chloe doesn’t give her time to defend herself.
“Beca Mitchell, you put some – some floozy’s panties in your pocket right in front of me!” she yells, knowing that the sound of Beca’s instrumental break and the screaming of Beca’s fans will prevent her voice from traveling far.
“That?” Beca asks incredulously. “Ah, come on, don’t call her that. It was just so the girl wouldn’t feel bad. You know I like to make them happy!”
That was the wrong thing to say. “Now she thinks you’ll be making her very happy!” Chloe argues back, leaning forward to get into Beca’s face.
Beca rolls her eyes at the implication, making Chloe’s hands clench into fists. “Chlo, you know it isn’t like that. It’s just something fun, a joke. It went with the song.”
Chloe opened her mouth to tear into Beca again when Beca interrupts, looking at her seriously. “Besides, babe, how many pairs of underwear have you thrown at random singers?”
Chloe blinks, sidetracked. Damn. Beca knows her too well. She can remember at least three separate incidences where she’d thrown either panties or a bra up on stage. And those were just when she was sober.
Forcing herself to rally, but already feeling her anger abate, Chloe replies, “That’s… that’s beside the point! You shouldn’t have done it! She’s basically asking you to cheat on me!”
Beca smiles at her slightly, as if sensing that their fight is already on its way to being over. “Dude, calm down, it doesn’t mean anything! And, remember, they all think I’m single, so….”
Chloe crosses her arms with a huff, glaring away from Beca off to the side.
The concluding measures of Beca’s instrumental break permeate the air and Beca raises a hand to reach out to Chloe. Chloe only turns away further, still annoyed. Beca sighs and says, “Look, I gotta go. I’m sorry, I swear it’s nothing. Here –”
Chloe glances at her to see that Beca has taken the panties out of her pocket and is trying to hand the garment to Chloe. Chloe wrinkles her nose and says sharply, “No, thanks.”
Beca takes her hand back and sighs again. “Can we talk about this after?”
Chloe doesn’t respond.
She feels Beca’s eyes on her, full of worry, and has a flash of guilt for making such a big deal out of it. Before she can say anything to amend it, though, Beca turns away to jog back on stage to her yelling fans. She moves to where she’d already placed the flowers and the beautiful drawing and drops the thong with her other souvenirs.
As Beca greets the crowd without glancing at her, Chloe lets her stance and posture relax, dropping her crossed arms to let her hands play with her jeans. She knows she overreacted. Beca’s right; she’s thrown enough undergarments on people’s stages to know that it really doesn’t mean anything. It’s a fun joke meant to flatter the artist, not meant to lead anywhere. And even if that girl did have hopes for a good time in return, Chloe knows in her soul that Beca would never do that to her. To them.
What they have is too important.
Chloe sighs, already regretting how she’d handled that. She glances up at Beca, who has still not looked her way. Chloe bites her lip; she hopes that Beca’s not distracted now, worrying about the status of their relationship instead of focusing on her music and her fans.
Releasing her lip to quirk her mouth thoughtfully, Chloe knows she needs to think of some way to make it up to Beca. She wants to capture her attention and make the biggest apology possible. She thinks for a moment until her eyes fall on the pile of souvenirs. She smiles slightly, a plan forming.
With one last look to Beca on stage, her eyes closed and singing her heart out, Chloe turns and rushes away, down the backstage steps until she finds an exit sign. She follows that to end up near the side of the fan section. Ducking and weaving around the hordes of hysterical concert-goers, Chloe makes her way to a stadium exit. She flashes her security pass at a guard, who lets her leave the arena and move into the main part of the building where Beca’s voice is much more muted. Her eyes land on the main front doors, and she dashes out and onto the street.
Her head swivels as she tries to spot any kind of convenience store or retail outlet, anything that might have what she’s looking for. Not seeing anything, she jogs around the Target Center, eyes scanning desperately. She knows Beca’s going to notice her absence before long, and, while a small part of her takes petty satisfaction in knowing it will teach Beca a lesson, her rational side knows that she needs to minimize Beca’s anxiety over their argument. She pulls out her phone and types frantically into Google Maps, knowing she won’t get anywhere by running around.
The first result to pop up is just over two blocks away. Perfect. Glancing at her phone to confirm the street name, Chloe starts jogging again, moving quickly to get where she wants to go. She can see people stopping to stare at her, and she doesn’t blame them. She knows she must look insane, now running at full speed to get to her destination.
She’s there in minutes, breathing hard, thankful for her gym routine. She dashes inside the store, moving immediately to the section she needs. She grabs the first item she sees and flies toward the register, not looking at the size or price, only wanting to check out and get back to Beca as soon as she can.
The saleswoman stares at her when she practically tosses the item onto the counter and bends to dig in her purse for her wallet. Chloe sends her a bright smile, trying to hide her heavy breathing. The woman doesn’t comment, only smiling tightly back before scanning the purchase and taking Chloe’s offered debit card wordlessly.
“Can you cut the tags off, please? I don’t have scissors on me,” Chloe remembers to ask at the last second. The woman – her name tag says Karen – only nods and grabs scissors on her desk, removing the tags with a quick snip.
Item paid for, Chloe shoves it and her card back into her purse, denying the offered bag. With a rushed “Thank you!” she sprints back out of the store and all the way back to the Target Center, nearly plowing down an elderly man on the way.
Legs burning, she launches herself into the building, holding up her security pass in a sweating palm like a shield. She’s granted access into the arena and backstage area again to resume her previous position just off stage and in view of Beca. The whole thing had taken less than fifteen minutes.
Chloe doubles over, her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, a stitch in her side. She dimly wonders if she should focus more on cardio and less on her arms at the gym, but she really likes how her shoulders look. Finally drawing in one last huge gulp of air, she stands upright to see Beca still singing powerfully on stage. She’s got Beca’s set list memorized and is relieved to have only missed about four songs.
As Beca’s current song draws to a close, her eyes flick to where Chloe stands. Even from off stage, Chloe can see the relief in Beca’s eyes as she sends her a small smile. Chloe’s heart pangs; Beca had definitely noticed she’d left. Guilt claws at her, but she knows exactly what to do to make it up to her girlfriend. She digs in her purse, pulling out the gift and holding it at the ready, hidden behind her back.
Chloe waits patiently as Beca’s show winds down, reaching the finale before too long. Beca had chosen to end every show with a mashup of the two songs she always says started it all. Chloe approves of her decision wholeheartedly. As the opening chord of the mix of ‘Titanium’ and ‘Cups’ permeates the arena, goosebumps rise on her arms and a chill runs down her spine.
Chloe waits until Beca reaches the chorus of the song, the part of ‘Titanium’ when Beca’s eyes will lock, as they always do, onto hers as they are both sent back in time to Barden’s showers. Her heart thuds in time with Beca’s voice, waiting, straining her patience until –
Beca’s gaze meets hers, open and loving as always. Chloe pulls her arm out from behind herself to reveal the panties she’d just purchased. Beca’s eyes widen in surprise, and Chloe laughs as she lifts her arm to throw the panties, tumbling through the air only for Beca to catch them deftly in her left hand.
Miraculously, Beca’s singing continues uninterrupted by the flying lingerie. She winks at Chloe, then lowers her hand to half slide the panties under the waistband of her jeans, letting them flop out at the top. The audience goes absolutely wild, as does Chloe’s pulse. She glances into the crowd, already knowing what she’ll see. Sure enough, several members of the front rows, including the girl who first threw the underwear, are looking in her direction, clearly wondering who had tossed the garment from backstage.
Chloe looks back to Beca, who’s still staring at her. Chloe takes a deep breath, tilting her head to the side in a question. Beca nods once, heading into the final bars of her song. Chloe steels herself with a roll of her shoulders, ready for what this decision will mean for her. For them. She had guessed this would happen when she first ran out of the arena. It’s time, and it’s a good way to ensure that everyone knows Beca is hers and hers alone.
Beca concludes the show on a high note (literally) and the arena erupts with sound. Beca bows once, an awkward smile on her face that makes Chloe laugh; Beca always has been bad with compliments. She turns to Chloe, eyebrows raised in one final question, giving her the chance to change her mind. Chloe falls even more in love with her at the gesture, but she’s sure about what she wants to do.
With a final deep breath, Chloe steps out onto the stage, dazzled by the lights and the noise and the people, but keeps her eyes on Beca. Beca will hold her steady. She reaches Beca’s side in almost no time at all and automatically winds an arm around her waist. Beca throws an arm over her shoulder, drawing her even closer until Chloe can feel Beca’s heart pounding, strong and steady.
Beca raises her free hand, gesturing for some quiet. The noise level drops instantly, making Chloe revel at the power Beca has.
“So, I know there have been some rumors going around about me lately,” Beca says into the mic, still slightly breathless from her finale. “And while Tom and Hayley are both good friends of mine, I just have to say – the only person I want in the entire world is this girl next to me. Everyone, meet Chloe.”
Chloe gives an awkward sort of half wave as she senses the eyes of almost 17,000 people landing on her. Not sure what else to do, she does what comes naturally. She turns to Beca, reaches out to touch her face, and leans in to kiss her fully.
A wave of sound washes over her. Anyone in the main area of the building might well think an explosion had occurred; Chloe knows her ears will be ringing for days, but she doesn’t mind. When the kiss breaks, Chloe looks at the crowd, squinting against the bright lights to see that everyone in residence is standing, clapping, screaming, giving her and Beca a standing ovation. It’s overwhelming. It’s excessive.
It’s beautiful.
They stand there for what feels like an hour but is surely only a few minutes before the stage lights are turned off and Beca’s leading her backstage again, scooping up the gifts her fans had given her.
“So, that was okay?” Chloe asks quickly as they walk, wanting to make sure Beca is fine with going public with their relationship.
“That was more than okay,” Beca replies, her voice hoarse from the performance. “It’ll be different now, but also easier in some ways.”
Chloe smiles slightly. “No more excited fangirls,” she teases gently, gesturing to the thong Beca had picked up.
“Nah, I just need you to keep tossing panties at me and I’ll be good,” Beca responds, glancing at her out of the corner of her eye.
“Mmm. Did you like that?”
“I did,” Beca nods. “I’m assuming that’s where you disappeared to? Because I know they aren’t yours. Unless you wrestled them off some poor girl?”
Chloe wrinkles her nose at the thought. “Nope, bought them. Look, I’m sorry I went off earlier,” she adds, glancing at Beca.
Beca smiles and stops walking. Chloe looks around to see they’d somehow arrived at her dressing room already.
“It’s okay,” assures Beca quietly. “I’d probably be a little jealous if someone was throwing their underwear at you, too.”
“Well…” draws out Chloe, thinking. “I bet I can make it up to you?” She draws her lower lip into her mouth, moving close to Beca and trailing her fingers over Beca’s stomach.
Beca’s eyes darken and she moves closer as well, her breath ghosting over Chloe’s lips as she replies, “Gonna throw more clothing at me?”
Chloe smiles sweetly and whispers, “No. I’m going to tear clothing off of you.”
Quick as a flash, Beca opens her dressing room door to gently toss her gifts inside on the floor before turning back to Chloe. She grabs Chloe’s hand and the next thing she knows, Chloe is being ushered into the room and lifted onto the couch before Beca slams and locks the door behind them.
Oh yeah. She’s definitely buying lingerie more often.
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