#hell maybe 33% strengthened and weakened

[holydramon]

water sport and mud sport would be better moves I think if they also raised the power of electric and grass moves respectively… I think it could be good double battles wise or for set up

[artificialqueens]

party chapter ten - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - how the fuck did we make it to ten chapters y'all… I’m shook.

Hope you enjoy this, anyhow! <33

Alaska could almost categorise the room full of people according to how they looked – the sallow skin and hooded lids of the alcoholics, the drawn faces and manic eyes of the drug abusers, the nervous glances and shuffling of the first-time rehab attendees, and the disappointed glances and blushing skin of the accompanying family members. It was a relief that Sharon didn’t appear to fit in with any of these people. They looked sick and sad and beyond help. She just looked tired and thin. A little bored, too. It had been almost two hours and her patience seemed to be running out.

“Two more minutes,” She leaned over and whispered in Sharon’s ear. “Then we can get the fuck out.”

Sharon hadn’t spoken to Alaska much since they’d been at Sharon’s home. It wasn’t like Alaska had any expectations on what it would be like to stay with her, but she didn’t expect the strange sensation of being stuck in a limbo. Sharon slept a lot. Alaska would do laundry and organise her drag just to pass some time. Sharon would grumble about the detoxification process. Alaska would crack a joke about Detox, and they’d laugh. Sharon would have peculiar dreams and wake up sweating, but refuse point-blank to talk about them. Alaska would watch TV, her eyes flitting from the screen to the closed bedroom door in case Sharon woke up.

She’d been told already that Sharon wouldn’t display any physical symptoms of withdrawal, but there would be fun little quirks like irritability, agitation, nightmares and possibly depression. A few times Alaska wondered why she’d agreed to do this, to stay with Sharon, but in the rare moments when she talked and cracked jokes with her, those thoughts left her mind. The older queens seemed to be doing her best to control her foul moods and hide her weak moments, even if she was unsuccessful. It was the thought that counted.

“Oh, thank fuck.” Sharon murmured back, her voice low. “I’m about to lose my fucking mind. The amount of self-control I’m using right now is terrifying.”

Alaska snorted appreciatively. “Oh yeah?”

“As in, this place is making me want to do drugs more than I did before I walked in the door.” She joked, her eyebrows knitting together.

Sharon had hated every single activity they’d had to do. First was group sharing; Alaska had an inkling that Sharon wouldn’t bother to censor herself for the sake of the rehab therapists or the patients, and she was entirely correct. When asked to introduce herself, she said, “I may not look like a Sharon but that’s how most people know me. I’m here because I fucked up and did more coke then I intended to.” Alaska had smacked her face into her palm, not missing the raised eyebrows that had been sent the blonde’s way. Sharon didn’t seem to care.

Next was one on one therapy. Whilst Sharon was doing her best not to be rude, to her credit, her old bluntness and unfiltered speech ran amok throughout, which appeared to make the therapist very uncomfortable.

“Is there a reason you decided to take drugs?”

“Yeah. They’re pretty fun.”

“Was it a suicide attempt?”

“No.”

“Was the overdose on purpose?”

“Nope.”

“Were you perhaps crying for help?”

“I just wanted to have a good time.”

“Are you incapable of having a good time without drugs?”

“Nope.”

“Do you have a drug history?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me about that.”

“I’ve used drugs before.”

“For how long?”

“Since I was a teenager. I worked in bars.”

“Was your life difficult?”

“A little.”

“Were drugs a coping method?”

“No, they were just for fun.”

Alaska had to fight back giggles during their exchange, which probably didn’t help. The second they left the room, Sharon burst into laughter and had to clutch the wall, gasping for breath as Alaska cackled along with her. They both started to complain through their laughter about how it seemed like a virtually useless method of healing, even though they knew it helped some. Sharon clearly had enjoyed antagonising the therapist.

The final one was team-building and group work, having to coordinate with the other patients to solve puzzles and problems that they were given. Sharon had spent the whole time sending withering looks in Alaska’s direction every time someone annoyed her, communicating through a series of forced smiles, cocked eyebrows and long sighs. To their relief, the rehab session was coming to a close, and they were arranged in a circle – like fucking preschoolers, Sharon had said – whilst their group efforts were being evaluated.

“You’re dismissed, we will see you all again at the next meeting.”

Sharon practically sprang from her seat, the most active Alaska had seen her in days, and shot out of the door at a speed significantly greater than that of the rest of the attendees. Some slunk away to their rooms in the facility, others filed through the exit on their way home, and Sharon was out of the door like a bullet fired from a gun.

“Fucking hell.” She swore, releasing a deep breath out through her lips as if she were smoking a cigarette. “Alaska, how much do you care about my wellbeing?”

Alaska frowned. “Way too fucking much, why?”

She pulled a face. “Please don’t make me go to this shit again on Thursday. Michelle doesn’t have to know.” Alaska started to laugh. “I was gonna lecture you about taking care of yourself, but I completely understand your thinking.”

“See!” Sharon cackled, pointing. “Of course I wanna recover! Just not by visiting that Westborough Baptist Addicts bullshit twice a week. We can do better than that at home.”

Alaska’s breath hitched at that – hearing the words we and home in the same sentence. It felt familiar. It felt right. She stopped herself before she could reminisce about the days where they did live in a home together. Even if she had promised that someday, somehow, she would make things work between them, they did need some time. Sharon wasn’t as stable as she seemed. It wasn’t like she was going to go out and find as much blow as she could, or drink herself into a state, but the fact remained that she was weakened from the ordeal and needed time to strengthen again. The last thing she needed was the extra stress of love in the mix; even if she was aware of it and had admitted to feeling the same way herself. They just needed time.

“You okay?” Sharon asked, her face creased in concern as they walked. Alaska snapped out of her funk and nodded.

“Sorry, yeah. It should be me asking you that.”

Sharon snorted. “Please. You just look deep in thought, that’s all. I know you and I know you don’t think because your brain was rotted away by makeup and hairspray inhalation through years of being a drag queen. Something up?”

Alaska smiled at that. “Not particularly. It’s just weird, you know? This whole fucked-up situation. But I have to admit you do seem kinda better, after that shit. Maybe you should carry on going to that place after all.”

Sharon shook her head violently, a grin on her face. “No way! Never. I guess I am talking more, you’re right about that. If I’m honest, it’s probably because I wanted to die so much whilst I was in there that my only distraction was to talk to you. I forgot how much fun properly talking to you is. I need to do it more often.”

Her heart fluttered. “I know you do. I might only respond with one word texts but you never answer your goddamn phone!”

Sharon lightly slapped her arm. “Incompatible. You’re a phone talker and I’m a text person. This is why we broke up.”

Any other time, Alaska might have looked away, but the words reminded her of something Sharon had said earlier, and she cracked up upon hearing them.

“When they asked about who had accompanied you, and you said ‘My ex boyfriend!’…Girl. Did you see their faces?”

Sharon grinned a second time. “Wasn’t it hilarious? I’ve never seen anyone look so awkward!”

“Anyway,” Alaska continued, resting her face on her fist as she pretended to think. “Should I let you off from Thursday’s session… should I talk to Michelle… hmm…”

“I’ll cook tonight if you don’t make me go. Fuck, I feel like a kid asking for permission to do something. Considering I never asked for permission as a kid, this is a weird feeling.” Sharon begged, laughing at the end of her ramble.

“For the next two weeks.”

“Five days?”

“One week. Final offer.”

“Deal. I’ll pay for takeout too.”

Alaska nodded. “Damn right you will. Hey, we’re here.”

Sharon pushed the key into the door, fumbling a little from the cold. As she began to busy herself with tidying round, muttering apologies for letting Alaska do it when she volunteered, Alaska took the time to read through the messages she’d been sent, flopping down on the couch.

Willam: we didn’t send this to sharon just in case, have you guys been online? There’s some shit

Alaska: of course there is. I haven’t looked yet, dreading it

Courtney: some of it’s nice

Willam: mixed responses really

Willam: some hate, some love, lots of “IS SHARON DEAD” and “ARE SHALASKA TOGETHER AGAIN”

Alaska: fucking shalaska

Alaska: the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard

Courtney: the couple or the name

Alaska: duh, the couple

Alaska: kidding. The name

Willam: i think we’re too old to get why the kids do this kinda shit. I think court and i take the cake with witney tho.

Courtney: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE- Bianca del rio.

Willam: don’t even start. I heard they call you two bitney.

Alaska: how original

“There’s some shit online?” Sharon said suddenly. Alaska started, her heart pounding as Sharon somehow managed to creep behind her without her notice. Placing a hand on her heaving chest, she shoved Sharon as she dropped down onto the couch next to Alaska.

“Hmm…” Sharon hummed, as Alaska let her scroll through Courtney and Willam’s texts. “Hate, love, asking if I’m dead and asking if we’re together. Ooh, I wanna go on twitter. My phone’s in my pocket, let’s use yours.”

Alaska giggled uncertainly, half-amused, half-worried. “I don’t trust you with twitter. Were you planning on tweeting?”

“Maybe.” The mischievous glint in Sharon’s eyes gave her away. “Just something dumb like ‘to all the responses: fuck you, thank you, no, maybe.’”

“For fuck’s sake.” Alaska chuckled. “No, I’m not letting you on mine. You’re a terrible person and I do not trust you in the slightest.”

Before Alaska could say anything more, Sharon had opened up twitter on her phone and was scrolling through it. Her eyebrows shot upwards and she let out something like a shocked cough mixed with a laugh.

“Wo-o-ow…” She murmured. “This is… something.”

Alaska cringed. “How bad is it?”

“If the Hiroshima bomb and 9/11 hit twitter at the same time, it looks a little like that.” She admitted.

“Sharon!” Alaska chastised her. “You can’t say that!”

Sharon coughed. “Just did. Seriously, take a look.”

She began to read a few of them, switching between tweets sent to Michelle, Alaska, Sharon herself and even the official Drag Race account.

“Sharon Needles finally took it too far, such a shame… aw, that’s a nice one. She deserved what she got… lovely. Alaska please tell us sharon is doing ok. I’m convinced sharon is dead, no one is talking about her. You can so tell lasky still loves sharon in her tweets. Agreed! I don’t know why they don’t get back together. Unless sharon’s dead.”

Sharon coughed again. “Amongst others. Most of them are along those lines.”

Alaska quivered; whether it was with rage or nervousness or relief she didn’t know. She was thankful that a large number of them were concerned, sending well wishes and hoping that Sharon was okay and would quickly recover. But too many of them were hateful – even one was too many. She didn’t know if it was better or worse, but the amount of tweets speculating about the two of them made her feel some type of way too. Of course she still loved Sharon. Sharon still loved her. It just wasn’t that easy.

“Oh shit, I just forgot that we haven’t told them if you’re alive or not. No wonder they all think you’re dead.” Alaska commented, feeling wan and exhausted. The last thing she wanted was to deal with social media bullshit.

“I’ll tell them.” Sharon said, resting her head on Alaska’s shoulder as she saw the look of turmoil on her face.

Sharon Needles - @SHARON_NEEDLES  - Jan. 6th

If you’re already dead you can’t die again .. dead girls never do blow ..

Sharon Needles - @SHARON_NEEDLES – Jan. 6th

Please don’t harass my friends and family about me . They don’t need any more hassle on my behalf than they’ve already had ..

Sharon Needles  - @SHARON_NEEDLES – Jan. 6th

And no I’m not alone . There is someone here with me and I am safe . Thanks for the love .. cunt wait to be on stage again

Sharon paused suddenly. “Thank you. I’ve been meaning to say that.”

“Huh?” Alaska asked.

“I know I haven’t been the best person to be sharing a house with – I never really was – but especially these days. I’ve been living in my own head, just letting you get on with doing the shit that I should be doing, and it’s kinda unfair. You should be out there doing gigs, you have hundreds of thousands of fans who want to see you doing what you do best, and rightly so… but you’re here. With me. Stuck in this house, watching TV and cleaning up all my shit whilst I lounge about feeling like shit.”

Alaska swallowed, her cheeks heating up. “Think nothing of it. It feels like old days.”

Sharon shook her head. “I was a terrible boyfriend.”

“You were great.” Alaska corrected her. “The only cleaning I had to do was picking up beer cans. You did the rest.”

Sharon smiled weakly. “I guess you’re right. But you should be out there screaming about anus and pussy and nails and instead you’re with me. I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.”

“You didn’t drag me into it.” Alaska said. “I dived headfirst when I saw you like that. It was scary, Noodles. You were shivering, boiling hot, and completely erratic. I never want to see you like that again.”

Sharon looked down, ashamed, as Alaska’s eyes stung with tears. She had done her best not to think of what Sharon had been like before she passed out, only focusing on the fact that she was alive. Moments later, she felt Sharon’s hand grab at her own, and she clung on tight as she spoke.

“You said some horrible things, too… so horrible. It wasn’t you. You were like a different person.”

Sharon’s eyes glistened. “W-What was I saying…?” She asked uncertainly. “I’m almost afraid that I don’t want to know… I have no recollection whatsoever.”

Alaska tried to laugh, but the sound that came out was mirthless. “I wouldn’t expect you to remember. It was awful, it really was.”

She coughed. “You said that… you said that I didn’t give two fucks about you. That people who care about you should try and help you instead of making jokes about you. That people who say they love you don’t really care what you do to yourself until it hurts us.”

Sharon’s grip on Alaska’s hand went slack, just for a second. The tears she had been fighting so hard to keep back broke forth, flooding silently down her cheeks. A pregnant pause went by, neither of the queens sure of what to say, before Sharon took hold of Alaska’s hand once again and buried her face into the younger queen’s shoulder.

“Why do you…” She started, tongue-tied. “How did…”

Alaska rested her head on top of Sharon’s, her own cheeks growing damp from tears. With her thumb, she gently rubbed circles into Sharon’s hand, not forcing the blonde to speak nor interrupting her.

“Why are you here? I was so awful to you. You should be slandering my name out there, condemning me for taking drugs and saying horrible things to you. Why are you here?”

Her voice cracked, wobbling and pitching as she tried to speak through her tears. Not even needing to think about it, Alaska wrapped her arms around Sharon and pulled her close, holding onto her as though it were the very last time she would. Something told her, however, that it definitely wouldn’t be.

“Because I’m stupid and I love you. I told you so in the hospital.” Alaska murmured.

“It’s been all I’ve thought about.” Sharon admitted. “You said that we could make it work, we could try. I wish it was that easy.”

Alaska nodded. “Aren’t we just the dumbest pair ever? You admitted to me that you love me, I got mad about it, then realized I love you and now we’re just… Here. Doing nothing about it.”

“I think a few… less than helpful obstacles got in the way of us. Mainly the fact that I’m a fucking mess.” Sharon pulled herself upright and laughed. Alaska noticed with a pang in her chest that their hands were still entwined.

“At this point I don’t even know what we’re doing. Feels like we’re gonna be stuck like this forever. So fucking close and yet nothing. I love you and you love me and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.”

“Fuck it.” Sharon whispered.

In an instant, Sharon closed the gap between them and a pair of warm, soft lips were pressing against Alaska’s. She relaxed against them, kissing back without bothering to even think about what was happening. Her hands threaded through Sharon’s blonde hair as she pulled her even closer, reclining backwards on the couch with the older queen on top of her.

Finally, she thought numbly. The familiar scent of Sharon; the clichéd cigarettes and beer and boyish musk that hung around her, it all felt like home. It felt like travelling back in time to a boxy apartment in downtown Pittsburgh and kissing because it was the only thing they knew how to do. It felt like coming home and going on vacation and merging their very souls with the stars that were shining up above, unseen in the evening sky. It felt like fire and ice and passion and power. Most importantly, it felt safe. Like home. Like love. Like the first signs of a frosty winter thawing for a warmer, softer spring.

They broke apart for air, their chests heaving as they just stared at one another, pupils blown with lust, lips swollen and red. Alaska watched Sharon, the way that her tongue darted out and wetted her lips, the way that her blonde hair was dishevelled from Alaska’s touch, the way that her skin had flushed red. They had spent time apart, years of wondering and thinking and regretting, but Sharon still kissed like she had the very first time. Sharon still kissed like that drag queen who did weird drag in a shitty downtown bar and had Alaska enthralled. Sharon still kissed like a queen who was entirely jealous of Alaska’s fame and completely enamoured with her look.

Alaska was the one to connect their lips this time, lifting her shoulders up from the couch to reach Sharon before feeling herself getting pushed down again, the weight of Sharon on top of her pinning her down. It was less gentle this time; instead of communicating all of the forgotten words, the tentative whispers that they couldn’t find the words to articulate, it made up for lost time. It was needy and insistent – Sharon’s teeth dragged against her bottom lip as she kissed with bruising force. It compensated for so many years apart, four years of not being able to touch her and kiss her the way she wanted to. Years of pent-up emotions and feelings and love and hate poured out through that kiss, a thousand unsaid I love yous and I miss yous finally breaking free.

“Fuck the articles online,” Sharon breathed. “Fuck the people saying we were better apart.”

“Maybe we were,” Alaska panted back. “But why should we care?”

“They don’t have to know yet,” The older queen decided. ���No one does. Michelle, Willam, Courtney, Jinkx, the fans.”

“Agreed,” Alaska said breathlessly. “Keeping it a secret is our fucking prerogative. I’ve waited too long for this.”

“You’re telling me?”

Things had changed. They were older; wiser. Both had bigger lips than they had before, two albums, different lives. Alaska didn’t see the point in waiting. They were only getting older.

“We can take this slow.” Sharon said finally, shifting her position so she was next to Alaska rather than on top of her. Almost instinctively, Alaska leant against her, smiling when Sharon’s arm snaked around her. “We don’t have to jump into this and call it a relationship and tell the whole world. But I love you and I want to kiss you and I don’t want to hold back.”

Alaska’s heart skipped a beat, and then another. She wanted to cry and scream and hug Sharon and kiss her all over again. Her mind was entirely addled and she didn’t mind in the slightest.

“I like that. I like that a lot.”

Sharon grinned. “So articulate. So eloquently worded.”

“I will end this.” Alaska threatened, giggling. “Don’t try me, Noodles.”

Sharon laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You would never. I know you love me. Even with all these needles in my face.”

She prodded at her face, pretending to model as though she were posing for a photograph. Alaska snorted.

“Of course, Miss Lepore.”

“A woman after my own heart.” Sharon joked, her hand hovering over her chest.

“You know it.” Alaska whispered, and leaned forward a third time to kiss her.