#her being okay with wearing dresses and doing needlework for her because she's patient and kind with her says a lot

[fromtheseventhhell]

Lady Smallwood's impact on Arya is really so incredible considering they spent such a short amount of time together. Arya thinks of her often and fondly, even thinking of trying to make it back to her and noting that she would've relented to being in a dress and doing needlework if she had been the one to ask. I just really, really need them to have some sort of reunion 🥺

[megalony]

A beautiful sight

This is a new Ben Hardy mini-series I am going to be working on based on a movie I watched. It won’t have many parts, I hope you all enjoy it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers​ @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog

Ben Hardy masterlist

Part 2

Summary: (Y/n) lost her sight when she was a child but now she can have an operation to restore her sight. Ben is by her side through all the ups and downs as she goes through with it.

Enjoy.

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"All done. You look perfect, he'll be speechless when he sees you." Lucy carefully set down the makeup brush in her hand that she no longer needed now that she had completed (Y/n)'s look. Her lips curled into a bright smile that she tried to bite down to compose herself but when she noticed the way (Y/n)'s expression changed, a flutter of panic bubbled up in her chest.

Reaching over the small distance between them, Lucy took (Y/n)'s hand in her own, surprised by the grip (Y/n) had when she curled her fingers around her friend's hand.

"What's wrong?" Lucy's voice went from being giddy with excitement to quiet with anxiety dripping from her tone. There weren't meant to be any tears today, at least not from (Y/n) and they certainly shouldn't be tears of what looked like fear or deep pain, they should be of happiness if there were to be any tears at all.

"It's not right." (Y/n) spoke quietly but with each word, her hand tightened around Lucy's to the point she was cutting off her friend's circulation. Her head was tilted down to stop Lucy from looking at her and seeing the tears but it didn't matter whether Lucy saw the tears or not. Nothing seemed to matter anymore when this should be the best day of her life.

"What isn't? Is it the dress, or the hair-"

"No, y-you said my hair was lovely and the dress is just what I'd wanted." (Y/n) kept her head bowed down but she could feel her voice physically breaking as she had to choke down a sob that was burning at the back of her throat.

"So what's the matter, honey?" Lucy's tone was tender and her voice was so motherly and understanding but it only made (Y/n) feel worse. She shouldn't be crying, she shouldn't feel down and stupid and hurt and selfish like this but she couldn't help how the emotions were building up like a brick wall she couldn't knock down no matter how hard she tried.

(Y/n) took a deep breath, and then another when she couldn't find the words because they sounded so crude and selfish in her head. What was wrong was something that couldn't be changed or rectified but (Y/n) couldn't push her way past it.

"I want to see him." (Y/n) choked on the words before she swallowed them and they disappeared forever. "I- I want to see what he looks like, what he's wearing, I want to look at him a-as he says he loves me. I want to see where we are and how I look." (Y/n) suddenly let go of Lucy's hand, grasping both her hands together in her lap as she sniffed loudly, trying to hold back her cries but one pushed past her lips before she could help herself.

This wasn't how her wedding should be.

(Y/n) wanted to walk down the aisle and see Ben standing at the other end, she wanted to see him smile nervously at her and see what he was wearing, how he looked, how he had his hair styled. To see if his eyes were as bright as Lucy said they were and see if they were glossing with tears or not. (Y/n) wanted to see Ben, she wanted to see his tattoos and his eyes and his jaw that felt so sharp when she traced it with the pad of her finger. She wanted to tip her head back and see if he looked taller than he felt when he was stood next to her.

(Y/n) wanted to look in the mirror and see if she looked as pretty as Lucy said she did. (Y/n) wanted to know what red lipstick looked like and how it looked on her lips and see if it looked as good as it felt when Lucy put it on for her. She wanted to see what her eyeshadow and blusher made her look, (Y/n) wanted to see how her hair looked with most of it pinned up at the top of her head with the strands that hung loose being curled like spirals. She wanted to see what her dress looked like and if it was as stunning as she was told it was. She wanted to see the patterns that she couldn't imagine when she traced her fingers over the needlework.

(Y/n) wanted to know if she looked as good as she was told she did and if her confidence in how she appeared was right or misplaced. (Y/n) wanted to look at herself in the mirror and nod in approval, to truly know that she looked how she wanted to and to know she would make Ben smile when he looked at her.

(Y/n) wanted to see the man she was going to marry but her eyes were not permitting that request.

(Y/n) had always thought her imagination would be okay because everyone described Ben to her and she had traced her hands over every part of him and mapped him out in her mind. She thought she would be satisfied, but when he asked her to marry him she knew her imagination would never be enough. (Y/n) knew that when she married Ben she wanted to witness the day instead of feeling like an imposter or a ghost or someone trapped in a box listening to the day instead of watching it.

Her body was a vessel carrying her mind but it held no windows for her to look out of and admire the world around her. She was a prisoner in her own body and no one was able to let her out.

"Oh (Y/n)..." What could Lucy say to make this better? How could she tell (Y/n) it was okay when it clearly wasn't?

"He's marrying someone he's going to have to look after like a carer married to a patient. He says it doesn't matter, but it does to me. I want to be selfish, I want him to marry me without feeling he's going to be bound to me to care for me... I want to see him say he loves me."

(Y/n) was independent. She was her own person, she tried to cook for herself, she cleaned, she left the apartment on her own and made her own way back again. She took the dog for a walk, she went on the bus and she went out with friends, but there were things that (Y/n) couldn't do and a lot of times when she needed help. Ben never tried to take control or do things for her when he knew she could do them herself, but he had to do the shopping, he drove (Y/n) anywhere she needed to go. He helped her go clothes shopping or get dressed if there was a zipper that was being difficult.

Ben organised things in the apartment so (Y/n) knew where they were and if she couldn't find or reach something he would get it for her. He was her eyes and sometimes she felt like she was depending on him or making him her carer. Ben never saw or thought of it that way but he knew it was hard for (Y/n) when all she wanted to do was to see the world around her.

"Lucy, give us a minute please."

The new voice in the room made (Y/n) shiver and close her eyes which she chided herself for because it wasn't as if she was going to see him if she had her eyes open or not. Her hands reached out until they found the vanity in front of her and she gripped the edge before leaning over it, trying to compose herself.

"Ben, you can't be in here-" Lucy spoke in a hushed but very stern tone as she looked at the blond who was leaning against the doorframe, his hands fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt that were beginning to get on his nerves. His hands were clearly shaking and his stern expression showed he had heard what they had both been talking about and he wanted to talk to (Y/n) alone before they went out to say their vows. He couldn't have (Y/n) thinking this right before they were meant to get married, he had to talk to her and clear the air.

"It's unlucky for the bride to see the groom, Luc. There's no chance of that here." (Y/n) huffed like she was laughing at her own cynical words that stopped Lucy from protesting any further. The blonde rested her hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder for a few seconds before she left the room, whispering 'two minutes' to Ben because they couldn't start the ceremony late.

Walking into the room, Ben took a seat where Lucy had previously been sitting and scooted the chair closer to (Y/n) until his knees bumped against hers that were hidden by the thin layers of the dress. He hunched over and gently took (Y/n)'s hands in his own, holding them tightly when she tried to pull away.

"I asked a girl to marry me a few months ago, she said yes but she hesitated, not because she didn't want to, but because she was scared of what it would mean. I asked her because she owns my heart and I don't want it back but also because I want to look after her." Ben's words were slow and his voice was deeper than usual but there was a lot of meaning behind his words that were making the tears continue to well up in (Y/n)'s eyes despite how she tried to push them away.

"You shouldn't have to look after me-"

"In twenty minutes I'm going to be saying my vows and do you know what they are? I'm gonna vow to take care of you, in sickness and in health and you look very healthy to me. You don't have to be ill or have anything wrong with you to have someone want to take care of you and it doesn't make you a burden or a patient to be looked after, it makes you loved and that makes you very special to me."

Ben wanted to look after (Y/n) because he loved her, not because he felt an obligation to care for her like she was a child or like it was his job to make sure her every need was attended to. He wanted to look after her because it was Ben's logic that a husband should look after his wife and vice versa, it wasn't because (Y/n) couldn't see the world that Ben thought he had to care for her.

"I know your sight means a lot to you and I'm not saying that what you feel is wrong or not important... but you don't have to see me to know that I love you and that I very much want to marry you today. I'd rather you hear me telling you I love you every day of your life than have you see me say it."

If there was a choice, Ben would rather (Y/n) be able to hear his words rather than see his lips move to form the words 'I love you' because he could put his feelings into his words and his words were a better expression than his face or the movement of his lips. (Y/n) didn't have to see him to know that he loved her, she knew by his actions and his words and she had no reason to worry or doubt about Ben wanting to marry her today.

Ben gently moved (Y/n)'s hand until his lips were pressed against her palm, knowing it always managed to make her smile when he kissed her hand.

"Do you feel better?" Ben whispered quietly against her hand before he reached out and gently rested his other hand to the side of her face, brushing the tears away with his thumb which had thankfully stopped falling now.

(Y/n) didn't trust her voice so she simply hummed and nodded in response, leaning into his touch before she tilted her head up when she heard Ben moving so he was standing up. He stood beside her, leaning down so he could kiss her temple, being mindful of her hair that was neatly pinned up which he didn't want to mess up.

"I'm gonna go now but I'll see you in five minutes." He pressed another kiss to the top of her head, smiling when (Y/n) held onto his hand tightly before letting go because they both knew they would get a lecture from Lucy if this wedding started late.

(Y/n) couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips as she mulled over his words, tightly knitting her hands into the hem of her dress. Lucy would come back in a moment to check her makeup and then Joe would be here to get her ready and walk her down the aisle since he was her brother.

"Oh, by the way sweetheart, you look stunning."

Pulling the earbud away and allowing it to hang down on her chest, (Y/n) leaned her head back on the sofa as she tried to concentrate on the different sounds. The voices playing through the headphone in her left ear seemed to drown out when she focused on the shuffling sound she recognised to be Ben traipsing from their bedroom over into the living room.

"What're you doing up?" The words came out in a gruff but still caring tone that was laced with sleep.

Ben used the base of his hand to rub at his eyes that were barely managing to stay open, not that he needed to look to know whereabouts everything was in the apartment. When he woke at ungodly hours in the morning he seemed to walk around with his eyes closed when they refused to open to the early morning light. He often wondered how (Y/n) managed to get around the apartment like she did because he himself bumped into things or had to walk with his hands holding onto the walls.

(Y/n) walked like she could see.

She walked around the apartment like she could see every object and picture and piece of clothing dotted about the place and when she walked outside if it weren't for the stick she had to use or the way she had to feel for things, no one would think she were blind simply by looking at her.

"Couldn't sleep." (Y/n) responded quietly, smiling when she felt the sofa dipping down on the right and then felt Ben's arm reaching across her. A tutting noise passed (Y/n)'s lips when Ben tried to pull at the blanket she had wrapped around herself causing her to pull it up to her chin before Ben managed to get a small portion of the blanket and pull it over himself. He propped his feet up on the coffee table before he leaned over to kiss her temple.

"What you listening to?"

When Ben couldn't sleep he liked to listen to sounds such as waves or static from the tv. If he had any songs playing or the tv on in the background it captured his attention too much and he sang along or started to become interested in whatever was on tv. But he knew for (Y/n) if she couldn't sleep songs could lull her back to sleep or the tv could dull her mind down.

(Y/n) didn't respond, she simply reached for the unused earbud and held it out until she felt Ben's fingers curling around her own. He leaned his head back on the sofa and put the headphone in, trying to concentrate but a tender smile formed on his lips when he realised what was playing on her iPod. Ben had uploaded quite a few of (Y/n)'s favourite songs onto the iPod so when she wanted to listen to them, she could just press the button on the side and flick through until she found what she wanted.

But she wasn't listening to a song, she was listening to a recording from their wedding.

A lot of their friends and family had recorded the event, but with (Y/n) not being able to see the videos, Ben had managed to take the audio from the videos and put them onto the iPod so (Y/n) could listen to the different recordings from the day.

"I like this one, you can hear everybody laughing and all the whispers and little jokes." (Y/n) turned the volume up just a little so Ben could understand what she meant. She did love the audio of when they were both saying their vows, but this one had to be her favourite because it was where Ben made a little speech at the reception.

(Y/n) hadn't noticed it on the day, but when she listened to the audio, she could hear Joe and Lucy murmuring to one another and laughing, she could hear her parents crying and Ben's brothers laughing and she was sure it was Gwilym she could hear making a joke in the background. There were so many different voices and sounds, she could hear the drinks being poured and glasses clinking together. There were sniffs and laughs and snorts and feet pattering against the floor. It sounded so much more alive on the audio because there was more time to rewind and go over every detail.

When the audio finished, Ben dropped the earbud from his ear and turned his head so he was looking at (Y/n). He entwined his hand with hers as he battled the tiredness washing over him.

"Why can't you sleep?" Ben leaned his head on her shoulder, keeping his tone gentle and light but he was curious as to why she was suddenly awake now when he knew she had been tired earlier. There was always a reason for (Y/n) to be awake, especially this late into the night even if it was simply due to feeling some sort of anxiety.

"I'm nervous... there's so much I want to see, but I don't want to get my hopes up... what if it doesn't work?"

It had been almost twenty years since (Y/n) had lost her sight and she didn't remember what it was like to see. She didn't know what her name looked like in writing or what her family looked like or what she herself looked like. (Y/n) didn't know what a bed looked like or a tv or a flower or what Ben looked like, her memory of things before she went blind is minimal and almost non-existent.

But in two weeks she would be going for an operation that could potentially change everything. It would bring back her sight in her right eye by fixing the retina and giving her a lens transplant. The doctor was sure it would work but (Y/n) knew the moment she started believing that it would work, she would be getting her hopes too high and be disappointed when she opened her eyes and could see nothing at all. It felt better to think it wouldn't work and wait to be surprised rather than getting a big disappointment.

(Y/n) wanted to see what Ben looked like, she wanted to see how her name was spelt and to see what their apartment looked like. She wanted to watch their wedding videos and see their friends and see their dog, (Y/n) wanted to look at the world properly rather than through a veil of blackness.

But what if it didn't work out the way they were hoping for?

"Sweetheart, there's every chance that when you wake up from that operation, you'll open your eyes and see the world around you and I'm praying it will be that way. But if it isn't, then we'll still be us and we'll still try and push forward. We have nothing to lose by doing this."

Ben placed a small kiss to (Y/n)'s neck, his words swimming around in her head more than her own thoughts. Ben wished for this operation to work with everything he had but he knew that if it didn't, they wouldn't have lost anything by trying. They would still be the same, they would still love one another and they would push through this like they had always done. This was a chance they couldn't afford to miss, even if it didn't change anything like they wanted it to.

"We'll just have to wait and see what happens."