#her boyfriend but actually just bc she was a bitch and really toxic and manipulative to him anD THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER what is up with that

[eggmeralda]

overcome with the sudden urge to listen to songs my friend likes...what does that mean

[lesbianrobin]

i think season three is good, but there are a few things about it that absolutely enrage me to an overdramatic amount, and here i shall list them lol. also this will be in more than one ask because i have too many thoughts. ok, the first is how hopper went from trying his best to threatening children, having that "girls can't choose who they date they aren't smart" mindset, gaslighting Joyce/not believing her when she has basically always been correct, and tricking her into a date?? 1/? lol

next, i hate how they went "here, take billy's sad childhood and him saving el and forgive his racist actions! go! FETCH!" and we were supposed to be like "yayyy! what a nice guy!!!" you know? like... a sad childhood isn't redemption? it may vaguely explain things, but not excuse them? i also was disappointed with el and max's friendship being based off them being mean to their (admittedly mediocre) boyfriends? like- yall are in 8th grade dating sucks why are we being mean just communicate? 2/?

and it felt like max and el's friendship was supposed to come of as this "wow FEMINISM!" thing, and it really wasn't at all? i mean i could totally see kids perceiving this "girls rule boys drool" thing as empowering, but i just wish that if they are going to go the whole (adorable) "sleepovers, wonder woman, shopping, normal, not-supernaturalish (if that makes sense)" female friendship, they didn't base it on... well... men?

(i'm sorry i'm saying so much lol) they are also setting up problems for character development and writing. if they continue to add characters for no reason, characters are going to keep loosing purpose because there are less roles to fill than actual characters. Admittedly, the characters they add for seemingly no reason are usually so fun that i end up shutting my mouth and taking back my complaint? like max, robin, erica, not you billy, alexi, heather, etc. 4/? (i'm so sorry i'm hyperfixated)

and don'T EVEN GET ME STARTED (lmao i've clearly started) ON THE RUSSIAN STUFF?! LIKE WHAT!??!? WHO IS THIS TERMINATOR BITCH AND WHY WAS ~HE~ THE ONE TO KILL OF A NEW LOVABLE SIDE CHARACTER??? AND WHY IS HOPPER RECKLESSLY KILLING??? (sorry i am yelling the anger is not at you, you seem lovley) LIKE WHAT?!? tHIS TOXIC MASCULINITY HOPPER CRAP NEEDS TO CEASE PLEASE, I BEG. anyway there was no point to making the terminator guy other than a reference. ok i think i'm done?? thanks for listening lol.

so i’m gonna be honest man the only thing i agree with you on is that the way they handled billy was bullshit. i wholeheartedly disagree with all the rest but i’m very glad you got it all off your chest kjdcnmnd like. i’m gonna share my thoughts on some of this and i REALLY don’t mean to be rude i just like talking about stranger things so please don’t take this as me trying to argue or whatever bc that is not my intention!!

so i don’t think hopper having a problem with el and mike has anything to do with him thinking el isn’t smart or that she can’t make her own decisions. el’s a kid, and she’s only been allowed to be a kid for like... two years, max? he’s worried that she’s growing up too fast, mourning the inevitable end of her childhood which has just barely begun, and yeah, he’s overprotective, too, but he’s pretty clearly painted as being in the wrong for how he handled things. he changed his ways by the end of the season, and through the speech he wrote it’s clear that his issues stemmed from his own fears of her growing up, not from him thinking she was stupid. change isn’t typically sudden or easy, and i really do think that hopper was trying his best at the start of s3 (he lets el hang out with her friends as much as she wants, trusts her to roam freely and keep herself safe, etc). he just still had a little way to go.

i also don’t personally see how hopper “tricked” joyce into a date when she agreed to go and then didn’t show up. joyce is an adult, and she was perfectly capable of telling hopper no (she actually did tell him no once, and then didn’t object later). he was never threatening or manipulative to her. he was a total bitch after he got stood up, and they did overdo it, but he most certainly wasn’t gaslighting her. he genuinely didn’t think that there was something going on! he thought she was paranoid due to her trauma, trauma that he personally has been through and is sympathetic to. he still helped her check things out, even when he didn’t think there was a real problem, because he wanted to give her peace of mind. while you can argue he was dumb or disrespectful not to believe her, he didn’t have any intention of making joyce feel crazy or of deceiving her.

and the reason that the kids aren’t communicating well in s3 is because they’re... well, kids. have you ever seen an eighth-grade relationship where both parties communicate maturely about their problems? if they were older i would agree that the conflict was dumb, but it makes perfect sense for kids their age. i also don’t really have an issue (personally) with how the elmax friendship started. the whole point is that el came to max asking for dating advice, and max shows el that she doesn’t have to revolve her whole life around her boyfriend, she can develop her own identity and be her own person.

a lot of people in the fandom share your trepidation about adding new characters, so i’m definitely outnumbered here, but i don’t personally have a problem with it at all. i think alexei could have been better-utilized, but his existence didn’t interfere or detract from anything with existing characters. in fact, i think he gave murray some more development and allowed for more dynamic interactions between joyce and hopper. max and robin were both “new characters,” and i’m not being hyperbolic when i say they’re two of the best-written and best-acted characters in the show. when i go back and watch s1 now, things just feel wrong without max, and robin is a revelation. i think that adding new characters makes the world of stranger things feel more organic and allows for the stakes to remain somewhat high without making the writers feel like they have to kill off one of our beloved OGs. 

russian terminator... yeah you’re right that shit was weird as fuck. i don’t think hopper killing the dudes down in the base was “toxic masculinity” or anything though like he’s a veteran and the guys he killed were all soldiers and he was just trying to get to the gate to shut it down no matter the cost, yknow? it was a matter of life and death, and with a giant monster trying to kill his daughter i think him killing anyone in the way of him preventing that is kind of... fair. but yeah i don’t really get the point of terminator guy like it was so fucking weird sdknckdnm

thanks for the asks!!! the fandom’s been kinda dead lately and it’s so fun to still be able to talk about st!!

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

Heyooo, here’s the scorpihoe anon! You have made pretty good points, but see, here’s my probelm, I hate when someone’s condescending to me or is giving me a lecture, even when I know I did sth wrong lol... that’s probably a very toxic trait, but it is what it is, lol...I mean, he would have to respect that too, like, okay, give me a lecture, but don’t expect me to feel guilty about it (if it’s not anything serious ofc, lol). However, if his lecture was in the form of bending me over his knee, I’m down (on my knees for him right after he turns my ass different shades of red)! Anyway, I have a Cancer in my close circle - a girl tho - and her sex drive is mad, so that’s why I think Steve would fuuuck the shit outta you, and I agree with you on all those points, but oh my god, the girl... she’s also so fucking annoying, like hella fucking annoying...And believe me, I’ve tried to be friends with her, still sometimes try tbh, because she could be cool, I feel it, but she’s so self-centred, and all she talks about is herself and her fucking boyfriend, she talks about things I don’t fucking understand and don’t give a fuck about, and even though I told her several times, she just kept. fucking. going! So I would really want to see what Steve would be like irl. If he had a similar personality, I would just fuck him, be fwb with him, whatever, but I think I’d be close to commiting murder if I were in a relationship with him lol. Like, all I’d want for him would be respecting my slightly mean, slightly audacious behavior.. I mean, I’m not straight up evil, and I don’t want to hurt anybody, so if I see they can’t take my attitude and are sensitive, they’re just not my people🤷‍♀️

Yep, I don’t like condescending either! That’s what makes me crazy. I don’t think it’s a toxic trait tho, you know? Like I’m kinda the same. Just tell me what your feelings on the situation are but you don’t need to lecture me tbh I’m only taking that shit from Steve bc I kinda want him to talk down to me but that’s whatever like I’d still be a brat while he was doing it even tho I want it but like...

But I really do think if Steve was being patient with you and nice and you just kept pushing. Yeah, he would take punishment to an extreme level. The vibe I kinda get from Steve isn’t fake, I dont think he’s a liar. That’s actually very important to me, I would need him never to lie to me or I would never trust him or anyone else ever again but see I’m totally allowed to withhold info and everyone is just going to have to get over it lol that’s a pretty toxic trait of mine but I feel like he’s overly concerned with being nice and doing the right thing and coming off as a very pure and good man. But like why does he care so much? I think it’s bc he’s super dark and it kinda concerns him sometimes like I bet he was fine with Peggy for a while but if they had sex, totally a head canon of mine that, it was just boring. Peggy is dominant herself and so Steve didn’t really get to be in charge and he forced himself to be fine with it bc he was in love or whatever but then he got out of the ice and realized women here don’t give a shit and are down to let him be absolutely disgusting with them. The bitch is from brooklyn! I know he has weird ass kinks!

So with Steve. Yeah he’s gonna fuck you well. But I do think he’s obsessive so I think Steve’s biggest flaw would be ignoring you for work! And when he gets home and he’s either not talking because he’s brooding on his own or he’s ranting and can’t let it go. I do think his obsessive tendencies will probably make him neglect you sometimes but I think Steve is nice enough and smart enough to respond to healthy communication...my problem is that I’m not healthy and I would probably just flip a table honestly

But I feel you. My aunt is a cancer and honestly she has some of the worst traits in the whole fucking world. I really hate self centered people too. Like don’t get me wrong, I love hearing people talk about their lives and I’m a freak who is absolutely obsessed with knowing everyone’s secrets, I fucking act like it’s currency and idk why, but yeah if it feels like shallow conversation, I could not care less. I will admit that I like the current trend in astrology where less people are calling us out for being the “meanest” sign and are instead focusing on how fake Pisces are and how manipulative cancers are! In conclusion, we are the best.

But with Steve, I think your concerns are totally valid but I must raise you this. He loves Natasha and she has her questionable ways. So I think he might be a pouty bitch sometimes and clutch his pearls bc you’re ~~~~being mean but I also just think it’s an act. As long as you’re not committing some great crime against America lol, honestly I do think he’d prob let you get away with murder if he was in love with you

And you know what else I suspect about Steve? Like he seems to me like he doesn’t like people of this time so I bet that bitch is a gossip. And he might pretend sometimes that you’re so mean, but he’s mean! Like really he won’t go around talking shit to everyone that he likes about everyone that he hates, you definitely have to be like a level 9 girlfriend to get him to start opening up like that to you but I know he’s petty too. And idk if you have this Scorpio trait but if my good friends (not just like casual acquaintances) or a bf don’t like someone, I don’t like that person either. Steve would totally fucking get off on literally hating the same people. So what my point is is that I love him and I trust him...but I also don’t trust him ☠️ but I would do anything he asked of me bc I think he’s perfect and never wrong and that’s my obsessive Scorpio habit honestly

[kdramaxoxo]

the worst second leads in the history of dramaland, drop that super detailed list! (not asking abt horrible female second leads bc they always get stereotyped as the Bitch, so drop an alternate list of nice female second leads, please) love, fairy anon

ahaha, I was hoping for this ask! 

Second Lead Losers, K-drama Edition Key:

⭐Low key frustrating, a big baby.

⭐⭐A real jerk. Would definitely manipulate lead into liking him, possibly verbally abusing her and gaslighting. Would lie to get what he wants and causes actual harm to the lead before he does change and get redeemed a little.

⭐⭐⭐The worst of the worst. All of the above with added murderous intent. A literal villain. These guys are usually integral to the story, so they have to exist but protect the main and do not ship this toxic pairing. Not redeemable.

Second Lead Losers, K-drama Edition:

The Tale Of Nokdu, Cha Yool Mu: ⭐⭐⭐

This guy is a straight up sociopath. What’s most disturbing about him is that he presents as a Really Good Guy at first. In actuality, he thinks of the female lead as property owed to him and will definitely murder for that and pretty much anything else. Kindly feeds a small child while trying to murder her family. Yeesh. 

Angel’s Last Mission: Love, Ji Kang Woo ⭐

Dude just gives me the creeps. He is in love with a different version of the main and thus feels like he’s owed love from her. He is manipulative and off putting.

When the Camellia Blooms, Kang Jong Ryul ⭐⭐

Rich privileged celebrity who realizes he’s lost his first love and wants her back. He doesn’t seem to know why he wants her back or even care about how she feels. He TAKES PIL-GU FROM HER. He does redeem himself a little at the end but honestly every scene he was in was super annoying.

A Poem A Day, Shin Min Ho ⭐⭐

I can barely remember this dude but I do know he physically pushes her and is such a winey jerk, like almost the whole time. 

The Best Hit, Hit The Top, Lee Ji Hoon ⭐

To be clear, I loved this drama and I actually really liked Ji Hoon’s character for the most part. But the way he oversteps with his friendship with Woo Seung made me really uncomfortable. Girl doesn’t like you dude! 100% redeemable tho.

Just Between Lovers, Seo Joo Won ⭐

He almost got two stars but since everyone is so damaged, I’m giving him a little bit of a pass. See, he’s her boss and him pushing the relationship openly, even while knowing she likes someone else is just icky.

Extraordinary You, Baek Kyung ⭐⭐⭐

Baek Kyung is one of those second leads that makes a drama. He HAS to exist for the plot to work and the show would not be the same without him. However, he is a jerk through and through, up until the very last minute in which he sort of redeems himself a little but maintains jerk status. He has all opportunities to apologize and literally never does. What a weirdo, plotting to kill his fiance off stage and then sort of taking it back, but definitely wishing he could date a shell of a human :P #leejaewookisapuppytho

The Heirs, Choi Yeong Do ⭐⭐

I almost didn’t add this because I don’t ship the leads either but he IS an annoying second lead. Both are not healthy pairings so what can you do? But Yeong Do is a bully and bullies are literally the worst. If this was a historical drama, he’d have totally murdered to get the girl. Honestly I can barely remember this show. 

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, In Gook Doo ⭐

This is a weird one because SHE likes HIM! But he’s so mean to her you guys! Like, really toxic about how gender roles work, and just pushed all my buttons (the bad ones).

Flower Boy Next Door, Oh Jin Rak ⭐

Your standard whiney “I’m owed this girl cause I was here first” type of dude.

My Absolute Boyfriend, Ma Wang Joon ⭐⭐

Ugh. This guy broke up with his girlfriend for k-drama reasons and just goes around being rude and petty. He’s happy to manipulate his ex while they are together and broken up. To be fair, there are a lot of things to hate about this drama so he’s just the icing on the cake.

[shtbgs-blog]

HENLEY KENT looks an awful lot like CAMILA MENDES. SHE is TWENTY ONE and while they’re INTELLIGENT,they have a tendency to get pretty SKETCHY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THIEF by ANSEL ELGORT.

&. SHORT INTRO

OKAY SO her mama is victoria kent and she here to FUCK SHIT UP

no but seriously she’s been raised to con and murder so I MEAN,,, she digs it

she’s used the constant changing and moving to reinvent herself every time. Once she was a prissy prim elegant princess and another time she was a grungy edgy bitch

she isn’t even really sure who she actually is anymore

she’s really into photography and takes a lot of pictures, she has an entire box filled with boys she’s loved or friends she’s lost who never really knew her.

a big mood for her is stealing peoples phones just to like see what it’s like to have a bunch of texts it’s fucking WEIRD but it makes her feel NORMAL and she has so many old phones with chargers too where sometimes she scrolls through them

jesus fuckin christ she might be a psycho it’s casual

she has just come home from a wild ass vacation with her mother and she’s living her best life since her most recent father in law’s death

She has a tendency to suck the fucking life out of those around her and ruin their lives by starting drama and rumors and stealing all their friends like she picks a victim and just slowly robs them of all the things she thinks is the most valuable ( friends, love, connections to other people )

&. BASICS

FULL NAME: Henley Veronica Kent

NICKNAMES: Henny, Hen,

FACE CLAIM: Camila Mendes

AGE: 21

SEXUALITY: pansexual

DATE OF BIRTH: February 15th

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Female / She & Her

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single.

OCCUPATION: unemployed.

&. PERSONALITY

USUAL HANG OUTS: Bar, club, park, downtown.

HOBBIES: theft, hikes, traveling.

FIVE POSITIVE TRAITS: intelligent, adaptable, charming, independent & focused.

FIVE NEGATIVE TRAITS: sketchy, dishonest, twofaced, dangerous & manipulative.

DRINKS, SMOKES, & DRUGS: yes, yes & yes.

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

CRUSH, someone who she has legit developed a big mood crush on but she doesn’t even know what to do because they don’t know the real her or maybe they do because she just acts natural af around them oooo bebeeeee

FWB, someone she’s been sleepin with on the lowlow it’s casual

EXES, oh FUCKING BOY SOMEONE WHO MOVED TO KOLA FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE AND THEY KNEW A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT VERSION OF HER AND MAYBE THERE ARE STILL LOWKEY FEELINGS THERE LIKE SHE FEELS LOVE FOR THEM AND THEY FEEL LOVE FOR HER OH BOY!

PLATONIC.

“BEST” FRIEND aka the ‘friend’ she has attached herself to. Probably someone who is very popular and well known in the community. Someone who she sucks the life out of and uses for connections and big mood if they have a boyfriend she can try and steal oh BOY! this is technically an enemy but not yet

ACTUAL FRIEND aka someone she is actually natural around and enjoys like? she doesn’t try to hurt them or even thinks she can if she tried like she probably views them as a very pure and innocent person

PARTY FRIENDS aka people she goes out with and gets drunk and spends her money on like when she is a friend she’s a good friend

ENEMIES.

WHO WORKS IN BAILEY’S BAKERY, GIVE ME SOMEONE SHE COMES IN AND HARASSES PLEASE BECAUSE IT’S TECHNICALLY HER AND HER MOM’S NOW SO I MEAN VIBES.

OLD FRIENDS FROM OUT OF TOWN OH MY GOD imagine she ruined someone’s life so fucking bad they had to actually leave town and start over imagine how horrifying it’d be if they were in town and like oh BOY she’s just like aha you ready for round two honey and they’re like OH NO BITCH IT’S MY TURN TO RUIN YOU just GIVE IT TO ME

EXES FROM OUT OF TOWN 2.0 !!!!!!!!! IMAGINE LIKE THEY FOFUND OUT SHE WAS CAUSING A LOT OF DRAMA AND SHE ACTUALLY STOLE THEM FROM SOMENE ELSE AND LIKE THEY’RE IN TOWN BC THEY COULDn’T BE LEFT IN THE TOXIC SHIT SHE LEFT BEHIND AND THEY SEE HER NOW AND THEY FUCKING HATE HER BUT THEY STILL MAYBE HOOK UP BUT THEY HAT E HER

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

FAMILY.

LOVE TF OUTTA YOU MOMMA BEAR VICTORIA ( @duoceur​ )

ROMANTIC.

;-; nothing

PLATONIC.

friends?

ENEMIES.

probs everyone in town lbqfh

[ladygogoogaga]

i regret growing up

i’m really sad. at this point, erm age i guess. ok but what if I WAS SUICIDAL!!!!! emotionally saying though, i wonder when will I finally be okay and stop running.

ok but recap > 2020-2021 summer is shit like shit as FORK. i mean, my whole life has been shit, but i feel like everything just made sense at this age now and the realization just broke me apart. first of all i mean, my family is hardcore TOXIC, like seriously i’m supporting them to get a divorce but really it’s hard- mom just went “i hate you we’re breaking up! ... but i’m not getting a divorce because when u pass i want the inheritance!” last month & hasn’t been talking to dad because they’re playing the “whoever talks first loses” game. I have no better words to tell you but yeah the T word! i could make a long fat list about how much of a virgo my mom is & how much of an aries my dad is to my mom merp!!! my friends, i feel like i’m just losing them one by one bc i shove them off as usual and expect them to climb back to me but no the world apparently does not revolve around me! .... i never push people away though, or try to be distant. i just sometimes fomo myself from the fear of getting hurt or used but really, it’s hard to find friends who you can genuinely talk to and not feel like a bummer.

i don’t know if it was the mom trait Ive been churning from since 2 or the “I want a boyfriend but can’t commit”. for real though, if i went to a psychologist i’d probably get diagnosed with “this bitch is regina george fake” note to self : god ur so full of shit. you hate your mom, your friends even your exes before they turn to exes.  it’s confusing, hard and just HARD. i never knew what a normal household was until i did feel like my life was so much more different than all the other kids’. i felt trapped and its so suffocating to the point where i build this whole new personality of mine (thx lele pons) pretending happiness til trait turns me into this bubble headed bimbo- not blonde though. through the years, i slowly kinda realised that attention > therapy. well not in a pick me girl way but i’m trying. i’m always really cheery and bubbly in the outside and i swear, i should really get a role in the matrix or something. sHe’s reALLy gooD! *tiktok sound* its true though, when i open up abt something deep no one really gives a f and just laughs it off and it genuinely hurts me a lot. i overthink in most situations and it scares me how much i understand others more than me. my mom on the other hand, she hurts me unintentionally. i’m 16 and i have NO PRIVACY AT ALL. yes girl get it! that’s why i’m always so closed off i guess. last year i had a really shitty eating disorder and i really didn’t think of it as a big thing bc it was personally my coping mechanism. (TW) my fatass depended on puking mentally for my health. i guess i did for a month until mom found out because the SINK WAS CLOGGING. like fuck what in the chunk did i eat for it to even clog the hole?! see, this is why i don’t talk casually to my mom > she thought i was insane and actually really thought of sending me to a mental institution, im not kidding. but yeah once i tell anything personal to her, she’ll use it as a banter when she wants to scream at me which wow mother of the year! way to go!

self analysis: i cope by being past dependent or seeking attention just because maybe i can’t get through problems and choose to run from them, leaving lies everytime everywhere. / or maybe because i’ve always been told repeatedly that i’m never good enough or was not as good as her/him. i choose to lie to myself about this cruel world rather than exploring. am i scared or am i lonely? or am i just not ready to grow up? i hold to things and memories for so long and way too tight that, the bruises comfort me in ways that i didn’t accept letting go, or manipulating my way to grow old.

i’ve recently started reading this book “forgotten girl”. a true story about amnesia and second chances - NOT SAYING i have amnesia or whatsoever. naomi, the writer, had big dreams and yet ended up doing drugs to cope herself from stress and trauma, not realising herself formed heavy bipolar depression. WELL IM NOT #twinflames w her but i know how it feels to turn 16 and everything just feels like “mY life has been a liE!!!??” sighs. i’m just confused. i’ve always thought that life was so perfect where i could dodge whatever missing assessment there was and still able to swerve through college and finally get married or something! but in reality, the phrase “money doesn’t fall from the sky” really called me out this time.

i miss myself, how’d i lose myself to so much tangles of “be GEN Z”, separated culture, or wanting so quickly to get old. i do regret growing up, because then I’d have no idea that mom & dad were out of love, i’d still be hanging out with my primary friends and not pretending a personality to be in the society.

[meulinthekittytroll]

Rant af I'm sorry

Yunno I don’t know what my dads problem is with my boyfriend. He doesn’t like him, at all. And I honestly have no idea why. Maybe it’s because this is the only relationship he’s seen me in? I’m not sure But if my dad could have seen all my past relationships he’d understand why B is probably the only one I could ever want to be with. There were some major people who impacted my life in negative ways and I’m still recovering from them. I will point out the major ones First there was David. He tried to kill me once, and manipulated me and made my self esteem plummet. (Grade 3-7) Yes, I know, 3rd through 7th grade and he tried to KILL you? Are you over exaggerating? No I’m not lol. Then there was Devin. He was the first boy to cheat on me. Which made my self esteem plummet even further. He also was the first boy to treat me… like I wasn’t a person I guess?? I don’t know how to describe that one but it made me feel very inferior. (Grade 6) young I know but shoosh this shit can happen at any age if you let it happen. Then there was Max. We never actually dated, but he is still very important because oh boy I crushed on this boy HARD from 8th to 10th grade. He and I had a thing going on in 8th grade but never quite did anything about it which only made me like him more. Then 9th grade came along and we only got closer but still didn’t quite do anything. (I also had a boyfriend at that time that I’ll get to in JUST a second) Finally 10th grade came along and I FINALLY made a move, only to get shot down, HARD. That was partly my fault I suppose for being too scared to tell him my feelings earlier than that. But still, ouch ouch that hurt me a lot. Jacob, the boyfriend mentioned just a second ago, this was a long distance relationship. He was a couple years older than me and I had never met him in person, I dated him because I was extremely lonely. This lasted almost a year, but not quite. It started out really fun because I could lowkey flirt with Max but still have someone to go home to and text and get the feelings of love that Max didn’t give me, I know I know that’s borderline cheating but hey I was in 9th grade and I was stupid in love with Max and it was just a messy time in my life and Ive obviously learned from it and cheating is disgusting ugh……. ihatemyselfAAAAnyways, as the months rolled by, things slowly went downhill with this Jacob kid. He just was a downer. We both were depressed and got even sadder when we realized we couldn’t meet for a long time blah blah you get the point everything was a mess and he made me extremely unhappy, that was a very toxic relationship and I’m glad nothing ever became of it. I haven’t talked to him in almost a year, I hope he’s doing well. Also in 10th grade I developed this crush on this boy named Anthony and he was a dorky kind of cute, tall and scrawny but still muscly, I dug it. I flat out told him I liked him bc I didn’t want another Max situation and he seemed interested at first until he told one of his friends that doubled as my friend that he wasn’t interested so I obviously found out and got shot down again. Ouch! When that didn’t happen I started talking to a good friend I also met over the internet named Gavin and wowie did this boy make me feel wanted and loved. I had a brief thing with him previously but it never followed through, due to the fact that he was a dickbag and cheated on me and blamed it on some personality disorder where he needed more than one girlfriend to be satisfied *cough* bullshit *cough* but anyways, I tried it with him again the summer going into 11th grade c he was sooooooo sorry and loved me soooo much and wanted to marry me (gag!) anyways, things were good for a while but then he slowly stopped talking to me and cheated again and all this other shit and as my confidence in myself slowly went down the garbage disposal as it had been since like 4th grade, I finally told myself enough is enough and told him I was done with him. I told myself I was done with boys until the right one came along and treated me right. As a junior at a new school with no friends, I assumed it would take until junior year of COLLEGE to even consider boys again (besides possibly sleeping around once I got too tired of being a virgin kek) But yunno, life throws unexpected things at you. I remember the night so clearly. I went to bed finally content with being alone, not having to worry about any boy cheating on me or making me feel bad or putting me down constantly. Then, wouldn’t you know it, the NEXT FUCKIN DAY, this super duper cute boy I had seen a few times around school walked into my first period photography class. And I thought to myself “fuck.” Bc I immediately knew something would happen between us. This boy was he perfect mix of goofy, nerdy, and cute as fuck, with a hint of holy shit you’re SEXY. Exactly my type. Tall, dark, and handsome (a spongebob reference has never been more relatable) ((besides maybe “i’m surrounded my idiots”)) ANNYYYWAYS Me and this kid start talking bc I grew a pussy (not balls bc balls are sensitive and vaginas take a pounding) and gave the kid my Snapchat. That same day I reaaallly wanted a chance to talk to him so I posted a pic on my story of me and my dog havin’ a blast (rip Lily u will be missed ily thank you for being the reason the loml messaged me for the first time) anywho, HE MESSAGED ME FIRST AND WE STARTED TALKING AND SHIT bc he thought my dog was cute af (which she was!!!!) and we kept talking and talking and found we had so much in common and finallyyyy we admitted to each other we liked each other and started dating soon after and I’m spare you all the mushy details of how that came to be. Back to the reason why I started writing this little rant/story in the first place. My dad borderline hates the guy. But what my dad doesn’t understand (which is a lot but these next few sentences are important) Every single relationship I’ve had, was with a guy who has done nothing but lead me on, cheat on me, or abuse me (both physically (which only happened twice thank god) and mentally (which happened SO MUCH OH MY GOD it’s so much harder to catch that than actually getting physically abused) Yet, my current boyfriend…. we’re gonna call him B, bc his name is unique and I don’t want people knowing who I am if this ever gets read by someone who knows me and cares enough to read though all of this. B is the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. He makes me feel important. He makes every day a blessing. When I first moved in with my dad in the beginning of 11th grade, I was a complete shut in. I hardly ever left my room besides to eat and bathe. After I met B, I started opening up and spending time with the family, and I made such amazing friends at school that I would have never talked to if it weren’t for him. B makes everything exciting. Of course we have had our fair share of bumps in the road, but ever healthy relationship does. And yunno what else healthy relationships do? They talked them through and fix the problems!!! B has made it so clear to me that I am worth all of the shit that goes on sometimes, and believe me I can be crazy so that is saying something. And oh boy is he a package deal too. He’s constantly got something going on, he’s quite frankly an idiot sometimes. But hey, he’s my idiot! I’ve never woken up and been happy about being alive since I was like 10, until B came around. B completely flipped my view of the world around. We tell each other this thing all the time because weird kinda opposites when it comes to certain things. He looks like the moon, but is the sun. And I look like the sun, but am the moon. He has dark hair and he’s got olive skin (very Italian looking) looking like a human version of the moon. But he has this optimistic view on life, the personality of the sun. Then there’s me; golden brown hair with fair skin, I look like the sun. But I’m kinda a pessimist, and I also am quite the night owl (he definitely isn’t!) personality of the moon. That might not make sense to you, but it does to us. I’m getting side tracked. The whole fuckin point is, I hadn’t felt true happiness since I was 10 until I met this guy. My dad says we aren’t going to last. My dad barely even lets me see him outside of school once a week, and when he does let me he always gives this disapproving scowl and scoff when I ask to see my boyfriend (who I have been with for well over a year now) once a week. Oh and by the way, he LIVES with his girlfriend who he’s only been dating a few more months than B and I have been. I wonder what he’d feel like if the roles were reversed. Yunno? Like he gets to see his gf every day and sleep next to her ever night, but the moment I want to see B, I get a scowl and a reluctant confirmation that I can see him on the day I asked to see him on. I’m sorry for all this rant and I know it’s probably all over the place but I just really really had to get it out because I don’t know why my dad is so unhappy with me being with a guy who makes me so happy. It’s not like B is a delinquent. He has two jobs (one is a photography business, he does really well with it actually he shoots for weddings and shit he’s an amazing photographer ((he only took the photography class at my school for the credit and to laugh at how low quality everything was at the school and how badly they taught it))) and he’s polite and respectful. My father truly has no reason to not like him, he has no idea how badly I’ve been treated up until I met B. B treats me better than anyone ever has, including my dad. Everyone else in my family loves him! Not nearly as much as I love the son of a bitch tho. I truly grew up from 3rd grade on getting belittled and cheated on and made to feel terrible, and if my dad knew that or understood it, maybe he wouldn’t hate the boy that made me happy to be alive again. Thank u for the ppl who took the time to read this through even tho I doubt anyone will do that bless u ilysm