#heron vs secretary

[cryptiduni]

…i just saw this poll and my unevolved brain gel wriggled inside my cranium like a feral fish:

idk how you look at his official art and call him conventionally attractive. my man looks like a wet dog and has eyebags for daysss. face full of pox scars, skin pale af, and those shaggy ass hair & a rugged beard hanging from his flat long face.

he is pretty *to me* but like dude???

—not exactly a heartthrob boy band material is he?

obv I wouldn’t call him “misunderstood baby uwu” if we are talking a little more seriously —but to be fair jean is having possibly the worst week of his life. the car? fucking sunk. case? unsolved. not to mention his close partner (who is also an ass mind you) doesn’t even remember him, already running around with a new one.

yeah he is absolutely foul and aggressive and degrading harry but like i said before (in my tag essay lol) judit also makes ableist comments and i don’t see people hating her because she’s outwardly nice—

and respects harry as her superior. her BOSS.

(also a friend with benefits? /nope, it’s just him harassing judit/ as well but not as a complicated relationship compared jean and harry’s brötherbund. only a few months of acquaintanceship.)

plus it’s highhlyyy likely that harry is not the only one substance abuse. —look at jean’s rudolf-looking-red-ass-nose. a drunkard’s sniffers. probably had few lines with him late at night… when your lifetime partner is an alcoholic it's hard to say no.

about the left for dead thing, they left because harry told them to fuck off. tbh harry is nightmare to work with esp pre-bender. (and am saying as a pathetic little unmedicated neurodivergent woman.)

but when the second time they left revachol was not jean’s fault, and it was judit’s suggestion anyway. the squad probably thought that since harry had someone a little more responsible looking after him. it will be fine when they come back. the tribunal was absolutely unaccounted for.

yet despite all of these things, he will try to come back to make sure he is ok and accommodate harrier to the best of his abilities which is wearing very thin. look at him trying to make up to our harry boy:

anyways am incapable of writing coherent thoughts (even though i want to talk about it for hours) that make sense so go look at sygneth’s jean psychological analysis instead. it is an excellent read. please go read.

[officialweezerelections]

THE FULL FUCKED UP BIRD BRACKET

All birds have been randomized, the seeds mean nothing. Yes pitohui is spelled incorrectly in the bracket image.

GROUP A

Andean Condor VS Loggerhead Shrike

Superb Lyrebird VS Emu

Greater Sage-Grouse VS Common Ostrich

Yellow-Billed Oxpecker VS American Woodcock

Bare-Throated Bellbird VS Giant Petrel

Greater Sooty Owl VS Vampire Ground Finch

Great Eared Nightjar VS Spur-Winged Goose

Common Cuckoo VS Tawny Frogmouth

GROUP B

Great Potoo VS Killdeer

Domestic Chicken VS Oilbird

Tufted Puffin VS Dalmatian Pelican

King Vulture VS Twelve-Wired Bird Of Paradise

Greater Superb Bird Of Paradise VS Perrito

Barn Owl VS Purple Gallinule

Bearded Vulture VS Secretary Bird

Long Wattled Umbrellabird VS Horned Screamer

GROUP C

Oriental Bay Owl VS Anhinga

Pennant Winged Nightjar VS Snowy Sheathbill

Red-Legged Seriema VS Marabou Stork

Argentavis VS Common Loon

Black Skimmer VS Luzon Bleeding-Heart

Southern Cassowary VS Flamingo (all species)

Green Heron VS Great Hornbill

African Jacana VS California Condor

GROUP D

Hamerkop VS Capuchinbird

Shoebill Stork VS American White Pelican

Roseate Spoonbill VS Hoatzin

Terror Bird VS Elephant Bird

Great Egret VS Magnificent Frigatebird

Guinean Cock-Of-The-Rock VS Hooded Pitohui

White-Throated Rail VS Spur-Winged Plover

White Bellbird VS Kiwi

Polls will be tagged with their BRACKET (example: #bracket a) and #tournament poll

MAY THE WORST BIRD WIN