#hhhhhhhhh gonna go to bed have this don't take it too seriously

[mothicalspoken]

The first time Marcy had wanted to hug Anne after everything, she was still blinking the bleariness and water out of her eyes. 

She could have sworn the blurry shapes in front of her were Anne and Sasha. Why wouldn’t they be there? They were just... they were just here, a moment ago. And she had missed them so much while she was asleep. Surely, she’d wake up and they’d still be there. 

“Sashy?... Anne?” 

She had reached out, using whatever strength she had left. Her arms were weirdly weak as they searched for nothing. That head of blonde hair. That was Sasha, right?

Apparently not. 

Reality crashed in with a sharp pain to the side of her face.

-

It had taken some getting used to, at first. 

The first time Anne hugged her, after... who knows how long, she was on her knees and quivering so badly she could hardly move her limbs. She barely remembers it. She was barely even able to feel it through the thick armor, but Anne’s head was lodged in the crook of her neck just like it should be, and she was... whispering something, over and over and over, like the repetition would bring her to her senses. 

She wasn’t exactly listening. She wishes she had been... conscious enough. But the only thought that came into her mind when Anne wrapped her arms around her midsection and begged her to stay was to push her away, however she could. 

Even if she wasn’t her right mind, she still had the instinct to keep her best friend safe. 

-

The second time that Anne had hugged her, it was awkward. 

It wasn’t one of those bone-crushing hugs- it was more just a desperate attempt to latch onto whatever parts of Marcy’s body that she could in the position she was in. 

Marcy doesn’t remember much of this either. She knows there was someone stroking her hair, and that Anne had bent in on herself, and simply crumpled onto her. 

Her face had been tickled by Anne’s hair, she thinks. The curls were more... blue, than usual. And it there was warmth at least. Everything was warmer now. Even with the tears that dripped onto her face. 

She might have had a massive headache, but at least it was warm. 

- 

The third time Anne had hugged her, it was in the hospital. 

She remembers this clearly now. She remembers waking up in the middle of the night, back against the cold thin sheets, listening to the monitors beep. And hearing the gentle snores of her best friends in the chairs next to her bed, all disheveled and curled in on each other. It was a heartwarming sight to be honest- Anne with her head tucked into Sasha’s neck, her legs haphazardly sprawled over the blonde’s. Sasha with her face to the wall, one hand weakly clutching the fabric of Anne’s t-shirt. 

It didn’t feel real. And Marcy didn’t know how to go back to sleep, or whether she was truly awake. She had thought that maybe it was another simulation, a liminal space to put her in for the time being where she couldn’t get in the way. 

But then Anne twitched, and awoke with a gasp, breathing heavily. Her sudden movement woke up Sasha as well almost immediately, and she was there in an instant, holding onto Anne’s shoulders, reassuring her with everything she had.

“Hey hey hey hey, it’s okay- it was just a dream- did you have a nightmare? Look at me, I’m right here.”And Anne looked at her, and continued to desperately gasp for breath like a fish out of water, and maybe it was just the shadows, but Marcy could have sworn her eyebags were deeper than anything she’s ever seen. “Breathe. Breathe. It’s okay. We’re all okay. See?” 

And then she gestured to the bed, Marcy’s bed, and as soon as the both of them saw her, they both froze. 

Marcy wondered for a moment whether it was time to move on to yet another dream. 

And then Anne got up, and Sasha’s hands flew up to her mouth, and Anne practically half-crawled into the hospital bed just to wrap her arms around her. 

“Oh my frog. Oh my frog. Marcy,” She whispered hoarsely, already beginning to shake. “You’re awake. I thought- I thought that-” 

Marcy’s entire body felt like it was made of lead. So she couldn’t really help with the fact that Anne was probably crushing her internal organs on the guardrail, but she could... maybe lean into her a little. 

She remembers Anne managing to pull her into a sitting position, albeit carefully. Hands on either side of her shoulders. Shaky hands. Strong hands. All avoiding the one spot on her back that still burned, but gentle nonetheless. She thinks Sasha might have got up to stand beside them. 

“Anne,” she whispered, because it felt like it was the only thing she could say. Just one word. Everything focused on the arms pressed around her. “Anne. “

“Yeah I’m here,” Anne had mumbled close to her ear. She was just as bony and sharp as Marcy had known, maybe even more so. It didn’t affect the way Marcy sunk into her touch, however. “I’m here. I’m sorry for not being here earlier.” 

“It’s... okay.” 

The most she could do was be here now.