#hiccup's left standing there still heartbroken cursing his weakness

[alkalinefrog]

“I’m sorry to say he’s gone for good.”

@twiafom crying Hiccup seems to be a trend here

[underoos-shield]

without a word xxii

summary: you can never love someone as much as you miss them

warning: angst

A/N: hi loves! long time, no see. i’m so sorry i took a bit of a hiatus because i was feeling discouraged but i hope you angels continue to read and support me💓

<<21

there was no sun without her. at least, that was what it felt like whenever she was away. peter had more confidence when he was around her and the second she was gone he’d be shrinking himself and hiding from the world again. and that’s what it’s been like since their break.

y/n and peter weren’t “broken up”, but they were on an awkward break from each other. they haven’t messaged after school like they always did and they only shared a few awkward glances as they sat at their table in the library. it was horrible. peter didn’t expect something like this would happen in their relationship.

he never saw an ending to their sweet and innocent love. peter always wanted one thing. and it was to be loved. in the past few months it was specifically; to be loved by her. only her. peter wanted to be with her, to care for her, to love her. that was it. she was it. she was his endgame.

in the span of time that they weren’t gazing into each other’s eyes or holding hands or secretly wanting the world to stop so they could have their moment, they both realized something; you can never love someone as much as you miss them.

it was all too true for peter. the boy almost couldn’t resist the urge to cry every time he caught a glimpse of her. he missed her so much. his days were boring and his life was almost as meaningless as it was before he had the pleasure of meeting her.

peter spent more time with ned, which cheered him up for the few hours they hung out together, but it wasn’t enough to raise his spirits completely. and liz and mj could tell something was wrong because he’d refuse to eat lunch or even engage in conversation sometimes. he’d just sit at there and pretend to be listening at the table while he zoned out. and it wasn’t a big deal to his friends. they knew he was quite heartbroken over the situation. but they still felt empathy.

it had been almost two weeks since they had properly spoken and peter just wanted to talk to her. he wanted answers, more than anything. why she acted out at him, why she kept her feelings bottled up for so long, if they were still... together? they both knew that they wanted to be a couple but her major outburst had driven a wedge between them. it was awkward and not like them at all and peter hated it. he hated it more than anything.

everything in his life seemed to be falling apart. he noticed his usual A’s turned into B’s and kept decreasing from there. though it had only been a few weeks, peter found himself not having the energy to care about most of the things he took pride in, especially his grades. and flash was once again hovering over him and watching every move he made. he started having bad anxiety again, something that calmed down a bit since she was around. but she wasn’t anymore. and peter was vulnerable, which is exactly why flash started picking on him again. the protective role of y/n was taken over by his friends, thoughi it was mostly mj since she was the most intimidating out of the small group.

one positive came out of this mess, though; the school decided it would be best if peter didn’t have speech class at all. the outburst of his last therapist made them realize he was not improving and decided to give up on him. although the school didn’t see it this way, it was a plus for peter.

the fragile boy awkwardly took a seat diagonal from his distant lover. he usually sat across from her so they could talk with ease, sometimes he would sit next to her so they could read together and he can rest his head on her shoulder. but that was all in the past now.

y/n could feel the awkwardness and her heart almost broke when she saw peter shrivel up into himself.

peter’s hands wring together as he tries to find a comfortable position for them. they’re cold, his fingertips having almost a pinching sensation. he desperately tucks them under his armpits and in the warm crevice behind his knee caps, but he still feels uncomfortable. and after a few moments he realizes that his hand feels cold and empty because it was so used to being held.

peter resists the urge to sigh at the realization and instead focuses on her, more specifically how she is doing. she looks as beautiful as ever. her face looks soft, skin vibrant. he did notice, however, the light bags under her eyes. he hopes it’s not from hearing her parents argue. and peter hopes it’s not because of him. he doesn’t know which is worse. peter thought he surely wasn’t important enough to be someone’s late night thoughts.

there’s a dip in her brows and peter glanced at the worksheet she’s been struggling with for the past few minutes. it was math again. how ironic. things were playing out just like it had on the first day they met; two innocent students, one bright and beautiful, and the other shy and mute.

peter isn’t sure why his hand reaches out for her paper. and he isn’t sure why he’s filling out the answers for her with such ease, as if it isn’t the most painful thing in the world. and most importantly, he isn’t sure why he’s offering her a small smile.

“h-how are you?”. her voice catches in the beginning, not sure if she really is going to start this conversation.

peter looks down at himself. considering the circumstances, peter didn’t look too bad. he didn’t feel too bad, either. if you didn’t count how shit his life has been since she left and how the love of his life still managed to make him weak at the knees. he shrugs. he’s... okay.

“you look good”. y/n was grateful that he wasn’t going down the rabbit hole. she was so happy and proud to see him looking healthy, and not dozens of pounds lighter like he was a few months ago.

peter smiles, a blush coming to his cheeks for the first time in god knows how long. he shrinks into himself, again, this time in embarrassment.

“you shouldn’t do that, peach”. for a second peter’s heart raced. for a second there was light in his eyes. and for a second, a single-solitary moment... he was hers again. he was her peter. her peach. her angel. “i-i mean peter”, she mumbles. and then he wasn’t. and it all came crumbling down again.

peter nods, but doesn’t fix his posture. he shrinks further down more than anything. the thought, “she’s not yours anymore”, fills his head and he begins to sink deeper and deeper into his own pit of despair. and she sighs and rests her hands over her eyes, letting out a curse. she knows his hopeful moment is gone. she knows that she messed up and just piled more guilt onto the both of them. and she can’t stop herself from messily dumping her loose papers in her bag and briskly walking out of the library.

peter doesn’t dare follow her.

-

peter’s so shocked to see her in his doorway that he takes a breath and almost says her name. it was nearly 11 pm that friday when y/n knocks on his door, crying over an abundance of situations. fresh tears brim her eyes and old ones stain her soft cheeks.

she looks like a mess.

but a beautiful mess, nonetheless.

“i didn’t know where else to go”. there’s a crack in her voice as she speaks. it’s so pronounced that peter can feel her pain. a part of him knows exactly what she’s going through. he looks at her hand to see her knuckles pale and white, gripping tightly to a small duffel bag. peter can see her shaking and he instinctively pulls her into a hug. she gasps as she tries to catch her breath, her anxiety was getting the best of her. peter’s hand rubs up and down on her back to calm her down. he remembers that it was something she used to do to soothe his nerves.

y/n hiccups and sinks herself into his sweatshirt. she’s sniffing and gasping and breathing so heavily that he wonders how long she’s been like this. he’s never seen her cry so hard before. her sobs turn into whimpers and after a while it’s silent, the only proof of her crying being her chest racking up and down. her knees give out and she starts sinking to the floor. peter knows the feeling; how it is to feel so emotionally unstable you can’t even stand.

he doesn’t let her hit the ground though. instead, peter carries her over to the living room and sits with her on the couch. he just holds her and lets her cry into him. and in those moments he can feel his heart tug and pull, as if trying to reach her own. but now isn’t the time. peter has to force himself to not think about her that way and pretend he doesn’t miss her. but he does. and all he wants to do is kiss her softly and passionately until her pain goes away.

it’s two-in-the-morning when y/n finally tires herself out. she felt guilty for making peter stay up this late, but peter didn’t mind one bit. he never wanted her to feel like she was alone. he’s had his fair share of that. because peter was so selfless and such a gentleman, he offered y/n his bed for the night. he would hate to have her sleep on the couch in the living room, it wasn’t nearly as cozy. the caring boy went as far as to cover her with his blankets and give her a kind look, as if to reassure her that everything would be okay.

it was the kind of look that y/n fell in love with. the one where his eyes were clear and bright and his lips curved up into that sweet smile that she adores. y/n missed this side of peter. he looks so soft. her hand slips from under the blankets and softly cups one of his. “can you stay with me?”. her voice is meek and fragile and peter knows that this couldn’t have been just any argument.

the tingly sensation peter used to get returns. it’s his body’s way of telling him that she brings him warmth and kindness and love. and peter can’t deny that. he can’t.

peter presses a light kiss to her forehead before laying at the foot of the bed and resting his head against his arms. he doesn’t fall asleep right away... he stays up and listens for her breathing, just to make sure that it evens out. it doesn’t for a while. she’s awake, blushing because of his selflessness and thinking about how grateful she is to have him in her life, even if they weren’t together anymore.

she owed him. big time. y/n wanted to give peter everything under the sun. and she would if he asked for it. she’d travel the ends of the earth to make him happy. because that’s all she really cared about.

she fell asleep not long after that. she was grateful for him. because no matter what their situation was, she always knew she could trust him.

23>>

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[sleepy-grandpa-blog]

False Facades

Characters: Natsu, Gray, Lucy, Juvia, Levy and Lisanna. Rating: T (somewhat adult themes?) Note: Inspired by Kuzu no Honkai, also known as Scum's Wish, but doesn't follow the same path. Summary: Lucy has been in love with her childhood friend, Gray, who is only a few years older than her. But she knows her feelings for him are more than likely not going to be returned. Lucy then meets Natsu, a boy who is in love with his childhood friend as well. Lucy and Natsu make a pact to begin a fake relationship to satisy each other's loneliness from their respective unrequited love. They agree not to fall in love with each other and end the relationship if love is returned from the people they love.

"But I guess it's always been that way, wanting to be loved...to find someone that makes your heart ache in a good way."                                         —Brooke Davis                                                 (:)(S)(:)                                           False Facades                                            Chapter One                                                  (:)(S)(:)

Love... An intense feeling of deep affection. Love... (it's a human thing to do as humans we crave it) It was something, everyone desired in their life, for they didn't want to live in this world by themselves. They didn't want to live in the world—alone. (to love and be loved, it's a special feeling. One that you never want to let go) . . "Lucy?" It started to unnerve Sting, the way Lucy was staring at him. He didn't mind that she was looking at him. But there was something off in her eyes, that made him feel well—nervous. She stared blankly at him, as if she was looking through him, as if he wasn't there. "Lucy!" Sting called, waving his hand in front of her face. She slowly blinked as if she just now realized he was there—right in front of her. "Ah, Ohayo, Sting." Flustered, Sting ran his hand through his blonde hair out of nervousness. "I need to ask you something, Lucy." He swallowed the thick lump in his throat; sweat building on his forehead. "Eh?" Do it! It was now or never. Heart pounding and panic stricken, Sting closed his eyes—head down, afraid to look at her, he thrust the heart-shaped chocolate box tied by a red ribbon forward above his head and shouted, "Will you go out with me?!" (I know that everything I do is being watched) . . There was a long silent pause. The air between them was thick. He felt the awkwardness in the silence between them. Sting could feel the pain of his heart clenching. Lucy, his crush, came to his rescue, her voice cutting the silence, "Ano," His stomach dropped. "I'm sorry, Sting." She began to walk passed him. Persistent, he reached out, and grabbed her wrist—trying to get her to turn to him, trying to see that chocolate colored gaze that made his knees weak. "I waited a week," he whispered. "You really kept my expectations high." Lucy bit her lip, gently shrugging her arm out of his grip. "I'm sorry, Sting." she said, "I just can't." She breathed in before glancing at him quickly over her shoulder, "I gave you my answer, now goodbye." . . And she left. . . Autumn's sweet breath chilled her as she walked around the campus. Tucking a loose blonde strand behind her ear, Lucy cursed for hurting Sting. She had been too harsh, hadn't she? He, like her, wanted to be loved, by the one they loved. But sadly, Sting would never achieve that, only because Lucy was in love with— Lucy staggered back immediately as she crashed into someone. A raven-haired boy looked down at her, with an amused look clear as day on his face. Gray. After he helped Lucy regain her balance, Gray chuckled deeply, "Careful, Lucy-Goosey. You might hurt yourself." He let go of her forearm once he was positive she wouldn't fall. .. (when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth) "A-Ano, is that why my heart speeds up, whenever my names rolls off your tongue?" .. Her rosy cheeks were now painted a darker shade of red, as she punched him in the shoulder. "Shut up!" She snapped, praying that he wouldn't point out the obvious blushing. He grinned. She scowled. He laughed. She pouted. They talked. It was easy to talk to Gray about things, about everything, except— I'm in love with you. "So how does it feel to be a graduate?" Lucy asked, holding her wrist behind her back. (there's no one better than you) Gray blew out a puff of air at his shaggy bangs, "Amazing. Besides the fact that I have to come here every damn day."

(forgive me, please notice how I feel) Lucy laughed, "Your fault, you wanted to work on becoming a teacher." The raven-haired male chuckled bitterly, "Yeah, keep reminding me about that, Luce. Sometimes, it gets too stressful, sometimes I just want to go out and have a smoke." Lucy arched her brow, "I thought you quit." "Quitting." He corrected. Gray looked up at the single golden pirouetting down an invisible spiral of breeze. It blew past Lucy's face, ruffling up her hair, she watched how it shook slightly as if it could be whisked away any second, but instead it kept twirling, floating down until it landed on the black mop of hair. "You really need to cut your hair." Lucy said, walking closer to him, examining his locks that nearly touched his shoulders. Grab his hand. Gray looked up, trying to spy the golden leaf on top of his head. "Tell me about it." Grab his hand! Her heart thumping she reached forward, "Maybe—" "Gray-sama?" Gray turned his attention away from Lucy. The blonde, herself, slowly lowered her hand back to her side. "Oi, Juvia." The woman beamed at him, and Lucy felt her heart drop. "Ohayo, Ms. Heartfilia." Her attention immediately turned back to Gray, eyes twinkling, "Gray-sama, you left you folders in the teacher lounge!" Juvia said thrusting the folders out in front of her. A slight shock look appeared on his face before his cool, calm and collected, "Thank you, Juvia." He said taking the folders out of her grip. Lucy bit her lip, holding back the tears, as she saw the two graduates have a light banter. Suddenly, Lucy felt as if she were alone. "Ah, Gray-sama you're so cool!" "Eh." His attention turned to his bangs, "I really need a trim." "Don't, Gray-sama! Juvia loves it the way it is!" "Just Gray is fine, no need for the 'sama' part." "Gray-sama, Juvia couldn't!" Caramel-colored eyes sneakily glanced at the two. Although, Gray played it cool, she could see that he was nervous. The way his left eye ever so slightly twitched, and how his hand kept fiddling with the buttons of his white shirt. The look Juvia that gave him, she knew, she knew that look because— . . "I have that exact look whenever I'm with him." . . (painful love heartbroken love unrequited love are they really that beautiful?) . . Autumn leaves spiraled in the wind, her feet stepping on the already fallen golden and red leaves. "He loves me, he loves me not." Lucy repeated while she plucked each petal off the daisy, as she travelled her way up to the roof. "He loves me, he loves me not." She finished as the plucked the last petal, watching it fall slowly beneath her feet. She opened the door leading to the roof, eyes watering. She closed her eyes, afraid to cry. . He'll never know how much I love him. . A body bumped into hers. She opened her eyes. Caramel brown bore into mossy green. . "Are you—are you crying?" He asked. He has—he has pink hair? . (don't take your eyes off mine once they've met) Lucy glanced up at him, wiping her eyes, "No, stupid! I'm not crying!" He rolled his green eyes. His hand reached out and flicked his finger at the side of her face. "Ow." Lucy whined. He glanced at his now, wet finger, "So you are crying." He confirmed. "I'm not crying," she said, using her school's cardigan to wipe away the fresh tears cascading down her face, "I...I just have allergies." "Uh-huh." He said skeptically. "So what's got your allergies actin' up?" Lucy continued to wipe her eyes, "N-Nothing." "So you're crying over nothing?" "I'M NOT CRYING!" However, she couldn't stop hiccupping with new tears. Be strong, be strong. He stared blankly at her, "Uh-huh." The blonde glared through her watery eyes, "I didn't come up here to have some stupid, pink-haired jerk—" The pinkette grinned boyishly, "Feisty aren't you?" Lucy didn't say anything. "The name's Natsu." He said. Natsu, the name that means summer... She looked back up at him, not understanding why he was so tall, "...Lucy." "Well, Lucy." He said testing out her name. "You're not going to cry again are you?" . . He rested his head on his folded arms which were placed on the roof's railing. Lucy's hands grasped the chain-link fencing, the flower stem still in between her fingers. She rocked back and forth on her heels. Below them, they watched as people walked and talked amongst each other. One particular couple caught the blonde's eye. Of course standing out with shaggy black hair, and the other one with long navy blue hair, it had to be them. Her heart thumped loudly. . (if destiny is real, then you are the person I'm destined to be with) . Lucy watched inquisitively as Gray and Juvia had stopped walking to talk to a girl with short hair. Lucy couldn't see her face, very well, but she could tell she was very pretty. Lucy's hands clenched tighter around the chain, crushing the flower stem and creating red markings on her palms. Why couldn't it be her? The blonde glanced at Natsu slightly to see he was staring at the two as well, with a deep scowl on his face. The three seemed to be very good friends, as Gray sighed about something Juvia had exclaimed, the girl covered her mouth to keep herself from going into a fit of giggles. Natsu's mossy green eyes never left the girl. Lucy looked down at his hand as it was clenched into a fist, his fingernails digging into his palm. "I know that look," she said turning her attention back to the view down below her. Her eyes shifted slightly just to see his reaction as she said, "You're in love with her." Lucy expected him to deny it, to freak out, or mumbling something about how they were just friends because that's how boys in Magnolia were. But instead he surprised her, by slowly nodding his head, "Yeah." He whispered, "I am." Caramel eyes widened before they quickly went back to their normal state. Lucy stared at Gray, "Love wouldn't be messy if it wasn't important, right?" she asked, more so for herself, for self-assurance. "Yeah," Natsu he said softly. There was a silence between the two as they just watched below them. Lucy figured Natsu didn't want to talk anymore, and to be fair she did not want to talk much either. Then his voice broke the thick air, "We used to be childhood friends," he stated, "we were close. She skipped a few grades, and then went on to study in biology." Lucy was silent. "I want to confess, but—" he cut himself off. It was silent again. Lucy debated if she should say something, anything, but before she stopped herself she had already said, "Do you know who she likes?" Natsu nodded, his pink hair blowing slightly with the breeze, "I do." He lowered his head further into his arms, "and he's not me." Lucy watched how the three parted ways, Gray looked up at the sky, probably to watch the trees shed the golden and red leaves. Then he continued to walk down his path, humming a soft tune that only the wind could hear. Lucy twisted. (there will never be another like you) "Huh?" Natsu focused his attention to Lucy when he heard a soft sniffle. Her pale face, covered with red, and he watched. He watched how the tears cascaded down her cheeks, one by one, before the dropped on her small black flats. "Lucy?" "I'm not crying," she whispered, "I'm not crying." He didn't say anything. "I know how you feel, Natsu." Lucy said to stare at him. She cracked a small smile, with a tiny heartbroken laugh. "Because she's not me either. . And suddenly, they both understood how they other one felt. "We were connected." . "So who is it?" Natsu asked after sometime, no longer leaning over the roof's railing, but instead sitting. His back pressed against the wall. "Who?" Lucy asked, in the same position as Natsu. She looked up at the sky, enjoying the blue. "The guy you're in love with." Her cheeks reddened, and she said quietly, "Gray." Natsu's brows furrowed, "Gray? As in Gray Fullbuster?" She nodded. "You're in love with that asshole?" He groaned, tossing his head back so it could rest back on the wall. Lucy scowled, snapping at him. "Don't call him an asshole!" "Fine. He's a stripper." Natsu finished. Lucy opened her mouth to retort, but found herself unable to defend Gray on that subject, so she closed her mouth, and said that he was a great guy. Natsu chuckled, before sighing dramatically, "We're both in a shitty situation." The blonde nodded, "You're right, I just wish-" she sighed. They were both thinking the same thing. "—that I wasn't so lonely." Natsu and Lucy both laughed. The class bell rang. Lucy said, "I guess it's time to go." As she stood up, Natsu's calloused hand wrapped around her wrist. Lucy turned to look at him, his bangs almost covering his eyes, but she could see them. She could see how intense they were. Lucy licked her dry lips. "Natsu?" He didn't say anything. He moved closer to her. Her eyes widened as his other hand cupped her cheek, but once again he didn't say anything. His lips slowly brushed up against hers as he said— . . "Why don't you pretend that I'm Gray?" . . With his intense gaze, Lucy felt herself with weak knees. She stuttered out, "I-I-I...have to go to volleyball!" Before stumbling out of his grip and out the door to get off of the roof. Leaving him on the roof by himself. And once again, Natsu was—alone. . (forgive me)

                                                      unrequited                                                 [uhn-ri-kwahy-tid]                                                      adjective                                       not returned or reciprocated

Lucy wiped off the sweat on her brow with her towel as she grabbed her bag in the locker room. Practice didn't go so well, her serves were off and her timing for hits were terrible. Coach had asked if there was something wrong, and made her take a break since her head wasn't in the game. For all of practice, all she could think about were Natsu's words. His voice was like a broken record in her head. "Why don't you pretend I'm Gray?" she scoffed to herself, he could never be Gray, her heart told her. But her mind, wondered off into the thought, of just what it would be like for someone to love you. Even if... Even if it was all a lie. "Lu-Chan?" Lucy jumped at her own name and turned around. Her best friend, of two years, stood short, her curly blue hair tied back in a ponytail. "Ah, Levy-Chan, Ohayo." Levy smiled, "Are you ready to walk home?" Lucy beamed, "Yeah!" The girls left the locker room. "You seemed out of it today, Lu. Is everything alright?" The blonde sighed, flicking a wet strand away from her face, "Just a lot has been on my mind." Levy frowned, but didn't pester her about it. "You know if you need to talk about it I'll be here?" Lucy grinned, reaching over to pull her friend in a sideways hug, "And that it was you will always be my best friend." The two quickly bonded freshman year. They both had a passion for books, and once Levy found out Lucy had dreamed of writing a book, they were inseparable. Joined at the hip, they hardly left, whenever one needed cheering up, the other would go out of their way and drop everything. Lucy was lucky to have someone as caring as Levy. As they walked passed the rooftop, Lucy looked up. Brown and Green. Lucy froze. "Lu-Chan?" The blonde, grinned sheepishly. "I forgot something in the classroom, you can go on without me!" "Are you sure?" Levy asked skeptically. "Yeah, I'll see ya later." And Lucy zoomed off back inside. . (if fate is real, then I'm fated to be with you) . Lucy held the door open with one hand, as she panted. Her eyes finding Natsu's. "You're back." He muttered in disbelief. "It doesn't help that you were staring at me like a hawk." Lucy said once she caught her breath. She stood up fully, and let the door shut behind her as she walked closer to the pinkette. If I see Natsu as Natsu or not, it doesn't matter. Because I'm just a replacement as well. Natsu grabbed her hand, the other caressing her cheek just like before. "Close your eyes." He said. And for some reason Lucy followed his command. Although afraid, she did as he said. His hand had left her cheek, and slowly brushed her bangs out of the way. —Pretend I'm Gray Pretend he is Gray His lips gently pressed on her forehead, and as she could vision was Gray. Something that she wanted strongly, his lips left her skin before they found away to her mouth, and her heart clenched painfully. Pretend he is Gray Pretend he is Gray ...he is Gray. Lucy kissed back, her hands finding a way to tangle themselves in his messy locks. She pressed herself against him. It was electric, the feeling. He pulled away and looked at her flushed face. "That was my first kiss." she whispered. "It felt...nice." She pulled him close, "One more time?" . . "I'm just a replacement." . . At that moment, I couldn't answer Natsu. But—I . . "Do you want to say that we're dating?" ".." "We'll be able to depend on each other." . . "Are you sure you won't fall in love with me?" He laughed, "You're not my type." Lucy didn't take offence to that, "You're not mine either." He grinned. . . She held out her pinky "So let's make a pact. No matter what happens neither of us will fall with the other, and at the end of the year we will confess to the one that we love." His pinky locked around hers. . . (we are dating but we are each other's replacements for someone else.) "We mustn't fall in love." Their fingers intertwined, and his lips were on hers once again. . . (I know longer understand boundaries... so don't say anything for now) . .

Lyrics used: Scum's wish intro and outro. Outro: Heikousen, Parallel Lines. Intro: Uso no Hibana, Sparks of Lies. Note 1: This is the longest chapter I have ever written. Note 2: My uncle is handling everything pretty well and I'm proud on how strong he and his daughters are. Note 3: If you can handle slightly adult themes, and gross (spit-string) kisses from time to time, then I highly suggest you watch Scum's Wish! Note 4: I worked really hard on this please leave a review! Sorry if there is any errors, the ending was a little rushed so I will go back and fixed them later. Note 5: I will see you next time and remember: YOU ARE LOVED!