#hilda 💘

[princehatterene-archived]

feeling very gay tonight. here’s a hildamana fic i wrote a few years ago :)

[no content warnings here, just some yearning and married life sweetness 🥰]

Mana woke to the sight of sunlight in her eyes. She grunted and shielded them, trying to get her bearings. She hadn’t realized she had fallen asleep, nor did she remember when she had. When she sat up, she noticed another figure in the room. At the foot of the yellow-covered bed, a pink-haired girl looked over her shoulder and giggled. “Well, hello, sleeping beauty,” Hilda cooed, a faint blush coloring her perfect cheeks. “You fell asleep on me, so I let you lay down for a while. You must have been tired. You were out cold!”

“I...I guess so,” Mana replied, still working on completely waking up. Now she remembered: she had been helping Hilda study for a certification exam. Fortress Knight, if she remembered correctly. Quite impressive indeed. But the Golden Deer’s books and notes had been cast aside, in favor of a couple pieces of ribbon she was braiding together. Mana smiled. Typical Hilda. “What time is it?” Mana wondered aloud.

“Almost sunset,” Hilda said, looking up from her braiding. “I hadn’t planned on you falling asleep, but it did give me a great idea.”

“What’s that?”

Hilda put the ribbons down and turned to face Mana on the bed, grinning broadly. “Sleepover!” she exclaimed, the window casting parallel lines of orange sunlight across her face.

Mana chuckled and quirked an eyebrow. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Both!”

As always, Hilda caught onto the teasing very quickly. It was worth a shot, and from the sound of it, she would get more opportunities later on. To be honest, a sleepover sounded like a lot of fun. Mana hadn’t had much quality “girl time” with anyone other than Dorothea (or Bernadetta, if your idea of “girl time” was talking to your girl friend through a wooden door). “Sure, that sounds fun,” Mana said, and Hilda practically squealed with delight. “Great! Oh, there’s so much we could do! I could do your makeup, or your hair, or we could make bracelets like I’m doing now!”

So much to do other than study, of course.

~~~

Mana was fascinating. She, much like Hilda herself, hid something of themselves from the rest of the monastery, but instead of trading inherent skill for apparent laziness, Mana traded inherent compassion for apparent frigidity. Why was that? Was it for the same reason Hilda hid? Did she also fear disappointment, or was it something else entirely?

Whenever Hilda would bemoan being put on the front lines in battle, Mana would become her unwavering shield. “You don’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m around!” she would say, and Hilda would pretend to swoon, “My hero!” But more questions swirled in her head: did she not mind Hilda’s unwillingness to participate, unlike basically everybody else who came into contact with her? Was this all an act to get on her good side? And to what end?

But despite these unanswerable questions, or perhaps because of them, they had become fast friends at the academy, chatting about this and that whenever they had the free time. Hilda saw a bit of herself in this Mana character. They would show their true selves around each other, without any fear. Hilda would show Mana something she excelled at, for there were things she was actually passionate about, and Mana would genuinely cheer her on.

Hilda had found herself quite enamored by this mysterious stranger.

But alas, they were in different houses, and wouldn’t get to have many classes together. Hilda found herself attending seminars she didn’t particularly care about, simply because she knew Mana would be there. Because even if Hilda wasn’t really that interested in learning magic, Mana was. And this meant they had an extra opportunity to spend time together.

Despite all this time they made for each other, Hilda had some lingering doubts about being in different houses. What if somebody in the Black Eagles had beaten her to the punch? What if Mana was already taken? Could such a thing really happen? After all, no one knew her like Hilda knew her...right?

~~~

Many years have passed. Hilda let out a big yawn, stretching her arms over her head. “Tired?” Mana asked her wife, looking up from the ribbons she was braiding. The woman across from her then laid her arms out dramatically on the table, resting her chin on top of them. “Mhm. Worked really hard today,” she sighed. In her defense, Hilda had gotten a lot done. Over fifty of the same bracelets Mana was working on were made in just a few hours, all packed up to bring to the shop in the morning. “My hands are cramping up...”

Indeed, those lovely hands of hers looked a little worse for wear. She could barely close them into fists. Mana frowned. “I’m sorry, hon,” she sympathized, gingerly taking one of those outstretched hands into her own. “I can finish up the rest of these if you want. There’s not that many left now.”

“If you’re sure,” Hilda, surprisingly, replied.

“Of course. I thought you would jump at the chance.”

“I mean yeah, it’s a nice gesture. But I don’t want to work you to the bone, you know?”

Mana was truly shocked. She looked closely at Hilda, whose dreamy pink eyes shone brilliantly—and innocently—in the candlelight. She didn’t appear to be signaling any sort of ulterior motive... “You’re sure?”

“Yes! We can do the rest in the morning if you wanna stop for the day.”

Wow. She was serious. Mana’s smile was so wide it made Hilda burst into laughter. “What are you so surprised about? A girl’s gotta look out for her wife, right?”

Mana giggled behind her hand. “Nothing, nothing, it’s just...sweet. You’ve changed.”

“I’m still lazy, don’t get me wrong,” Hilda said, getting up and circling the table to Mana’s side. She leaned down and kissed the mercenary’s cheek. “But I’ll always make an exception for you, babe.” Mana’s flustered face made Hilda laugh again. “I always kiss you on the cheek! Why are you blushing now?”

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hgggggg i need to write more hildamana i Need to

[cw for mentions of nudity, scars, and body image issues]

Getting married to somebody with the same body type was a blessing Hilda and Mana both adored about their lives. They were both among the shortest in their respective classes back at the academy (not quite as short as Lysithea and Bernadetta, however!), and neither could be classified as “slim” or “toned” like most of the other girls. Mana had some squish around her belly that Hilda loved to rest her head upon, and the same went for Hilda’s hips and thighs. But don’t think for a moment that that means they aren’t physically strong. At this point, years after the war and the unification of the continent, most everybody knew about Fódlan’s Lodestar and her graceful power. And they also knew the Lodestar’s wife could handle Goneril’s mighty Hero’s Relic like nobody’s business.

Appearances can be deceiving, after all.

But as they got older, and their war days flitted by on the breeze of time, Hilda’s mind began to swirl with doubt. She really had let herself go. She was able to keep fit at the academy and in the army, but with the fighting done, that motivation had all but vanished. There were other matters on her plate that didn’t involve swinging a giant axe around. And that was all fine and good, until she looked in the mirror. Mana was able to continue fighting as a mercenary, so why couldn’t she? Her youth wouldn’t last forever…had she already hit her peak physical beauty? Was it all downhill from here?

Hilda slipped out of her nightie and rifled though her dresser for clothes. Something casual she could wear as she worked on her accessories. As she turned, something caught her eye in the mirror. The only scar she ever got from combat, long and thin and stretching horizontally across her whole lower back. It wasn’t something she ever liked thinking about, for obvious reasons. She would never forget that pain and the fear that it would disfigure her forever. Tears sprung up in Hilda’s eyes. But Mana was covered in scars, she thought. And she was, it was true—one so bad it hindered the mobility in her left shoulder. But still she continued to fight as if nothing was bothering her. And Hilda couldn’t handle having one? It was disgraceful, plain and simple.

Footsteps. Arms snaking around her waist. A chin resting atop her shoulder. “Hi, cutie,” a familiar voice said. “Having trouble figuring out what to wear?” Hilda shook her head, crossing her arms over her stomach, and Mana could tell it wasn’t because she was hungry. They’ve had this conversation before. Turns out, they’ve struggled with similar thoughts over the years. Mana did, in fact, feel self-conscious about her scars and her weight. She was not perfect by any means. No one was.

All the same, Mana was afraid she couldn’t offer anything but platitudes. All she could do was be there. She moved her arms up over Hilda’s bare chest, planting a kiss on the soft skin of her neck. Swaying slowly. She didn’t need to say anything. Hilda already knew. And she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her feel at least a little better.

“That stupid war gave me a tramp stamp,” Hilda said self-deprecatingly, trying to lighten the mood.

Mana’s head bolted up. “A what?”

“A tramp stamp?” Mana looked down toward her wife’s scar. She burst out laughing, softly butting her head into Hilda’s upper back. “You’ve never heard of that?” Hilda asked incredulously.

“No! What the hell is a tramp stamp?!”

Now Hilda was losing it. “It’s like a tattoo you get right above your butt! Except this—“ she jutted out her hip as emphasis, “—isn’t a tattoo! Or something I ever thought I’d end up with!”

“I still think it’s hot, to be honest,” Mana said after the giggle fit died down. “Scarred women are the best kinda women.”

“Ah, well, you’re too kind.” While Hilda’s words were somber, her tone of voice was anything but. While it did sting sometimes, it had been long enough that they could both start to look at their scars and laugh. “I can’t believe you’ve never heard of a tramp stamp! You gotta get out more!”

“And you gotta get dressed,” Mana said, finally releasing her wife and moving toward Hilda’s side of the dresser. “I think yellow’s a good color on you!”

[princehatterene-archived]

i should add marianne to the list solely cuz she’s my girlfriend’s girlfriend

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anyway look at my gf

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(Hilda voice) Hilda, Hilda, Hilda!

For blorbo bingo ofc

wifey! wifey! wifey!

preeetty close to a bingo! also when i say unwillingly have come around to her i really mean unwittingly. i liked her fine when i first played the game but then all of a sudden BOOM she should kiss me actually

also i missed the deep seated reason for loving them option but i’m retroactively checking that too. i’m gonna blame the lesbianism for that one

[princehatterene-archived]

OOO 4!!

4. if you have more than one f/o, do you notice similarities between them? differences?

transcript: ok so this question is about similarities and differences between f/os. and…um…i’ll do these with—with ferdie again, because of course. um, and i’ll compare him to hilda, because that’s my wife. um, and honestly? i don’t think they could be more different. (laughs) um…well for one, they’re both…different houses. um, that’s pretty obvious. um…uh—(laughs) ferdie’s a lot taller than me and hilda. me and hilda are like, the same height pretty much. i think i’m maybe…2 centimeters taller than hilda. (laughs) um…what else is there…well i mean their personalities too, right? um, hilda’s very…i don’t—i don’t feel right calling her lazy? because she really does have…a lot of things that’s she’s good at? um, she just doesn’t wanna like, disappoint people for whatever reason? i dunno…why she would ever think that she disappoints people. but that’s just me. that’s just me being a supportive wife. um, and ferdie, on the other hand, is very confident. um…he’s very confident in his abilities, and hilda is very confident in her lack of abilities. so, i guess confidence is a similarity, but it’s confidence in different things. um…jeez, what else is there? umm…hmm…yeah i don’t know. um…maybe their, like, priorities for nobility are in different places. cuz ferdie’s very, um, “nobility is awesome!” and all that. and hilda—i don’t really feel like she gives a shit about being a noble. um, because holst is the one who’s gonna…uh…uhh…get the family name, y’know? inherit it. so she’s like “i can just kinda sit back for a bit.” um, while…ferdie, um, i don’t…that’s the thing about ferdie, i don’t know if he has any siblings? i don’t think he does? (laughs) i kinda theorize otherwise, but…that’s a story for a different day. (laughs) um…we haven’t met hilda’s dad, and we know ferdie’s dad. that’s somethin’. um…i wish holst was—(laughs) was hilda’s dad. he’d be a much better, like, father figure i feel like. he’s just a sweet guy, i like him. um…y’know, that’s…that’s—i think that’s everything i can think of at the moment. they’re very different characters, and i like them for very different reasons, but i like them nonetheless.

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oh we are so fucking back

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🌈+ hilda and layla :3

hilda is a lesbian and a demigirl! she doesn’t strike me as someone who thinks about gender much, but she definitely considers herself wlw

layla is a greyaroace lesbian and a hoarder of xenogenders! layla’s favorites are sleepygender and stargender (just like me fr) and maybe also autigender? also likes to use no pronouns, but if that’s too hard she and it are also fine :)

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i’m realizing now that i’m not actually shorter than all my f/os, i forgot about hilda!! i’m like two whole cm taller than her lol