#hinata: 'uchiha fucker sixty nine?' buddy they won't even let ME fuck the uchiha

[trans-girl-uchiha-itachi]

i dont know if this is "in" "character" and i dont care because its funny BUT

in the eyeball swap polycule au karin is a BNF in the akatsuki RPF community. she has a brutally defended timeslot of 2 hours a night where she completely ignores all her other responsibilities and either blasts out a bunch of overwrought, aggressively mediocre fic or just absolutely rips someone else on the akatsuki RPF mailing list to shreds. (orochimaru dies during the chuunin exams arc in this fic and karin becomes the nidaime otokage, but she's been writing fic for a few years before that happens. also, hinata, karin, and kabuto are Unhinged Childhood Friends in the hinataverse, btw, but karin & kabuto haven't heard anything from hinata from when she escapes otogakure until after orochimaru dies.)

now, karin is not a sasori girl (sasori being the most popular guy in the akatsuki rpf fandom) because sasori tried to make kabuto a sleeper agent and now kabuto is uno-reverse-card spying on HIM and it just feels too weird, quite frankly, but the second-most-popular blorbo in the akatsuki rpf fandom is itachi and, well, thirteen-year-old karin thought when she was picking a blorbo, she doesn't have ANY weird personal relationships with ITACHI, nor is she likely to form any, right? like, if she ever meets uchiha goddamn itachi irl he's probably going to kill her instantly, at which point the fanfiction is no longer going to be a concern.

fast forward several years. hinata isn't dead after all! cool, karin says, can you beta my itachi/kakashi slash? since you know them irl, and all.

hinata: HORRIBLE. NO THANK YOU, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT TAICHOU'S SEX LIFE

hinata:

hinata: fine. give it here.

(several minutes pass)

hinata: he would not fucking say that.

karin: which one?

hinata: EITHER OF THEM!! also, i'm banning you from using the phrase "crimson orbs". say ANYTHING else

karin: fine, but i need to get this in the mail by tonight. i need to win an argument with xXx_uchihafucker69_xXx.