#hit my ask box if u wanna hear more about any of these im dead fucking serious

[hier--soir]

I would love to know about books that changed your life…favorite books?

oh boy okay buckle up! let's talk books! [thank you so much for asking, i love talking about this stuff ilysm]

so i am currently reading decreation by anne carson which i am really loving, and i reckon that's instantly on the list so we'll start there.

lemme break it up by genre with everything i can think of off the top of my head [and see on my shelf right now] also YOU ASKED SORRY BUT IM BOUT TO RUN WILD ALSO IM DEFINITELY FORGETTING LIKE A HUNDRED GOOD BOOKS HERE

short-story/poetry collections [aka the main thing i read most these days]

brute by emily skaja

flèche by mary jean chan

deaf republic by ilya kaminsky

autobiography of red by anne carson

foreign soil by maxine beneba-clarke [changed me forever]

bluets by maggie nelson

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado [idk if this entire collection is on the favs list, but some of them? woof]

classics

an oresteia translated by anne carson

narcissus and echo [from metamorphoses] by ovid

the bacchae by euripides

old [and old-er] lit

macbeth by willy shakes [see: my blog description]

hamlet by willy shakes

a streetcar named desire by tennessee williams

the end of the affair by graham greene

contemporary lit

nightbitch by rachel yoder [who else out here turning into a dog when their husband is away for work?? just me?]

the secret history by donna tartt [duh]

milk fed by melissa broder

year of wonders by geraldine brooks [this book has everything: the plague, self-flaggelation, gore, fucking the local priest!]

call me by your name by andré aciman [lots of discourse around this one but you can't deny that the writing is beautiful]

a book that is not a favourite but certainly changed me as a person lmao

crash by j. g. ballard

fav series of all time!!!!

the skulduggery pleasant series by derek landy. idgaf! that irish man changed my life, go read it that shit is timeless. sorcery? friendship? vampires? violence? incredible stuff. the birth of my whimsy.

[kpop-probably]

Round 8: Semi- finals

AN: This one is a little long so I put the keep reading thing on it. Its 1,875 words. 

iKon 8th member AU

July 2016

The excitement was high backstage. The remaining six contestants will have solo performances with a special guest performers. All of them matched-up to go against another contestant. The contestant who earned the most amount of money during their match-up will advance to the final round, while the other gets eliminated. Making it this far should be accomplishment enough but for Asuka it isn't. She wants to show everyone, especially her female fans, that she can win it. The fans didn't approve of her in the beginning and wouldn't include her in the fan chants but since the show has started they have sent her nothing but love and she's even received some fan mail.

Asuka Pov

I'm sitting in the room for my team putting some finishing touches on my verses. I have a surprise guest tonight to feature on my song. I get up to go find Joon-Kyung oppa to get some feedback on what I wrote but when I open the door Xitsuh is standing outside of it. “Did you need something?” I start to look around to find any excuse to run away because the whole pretending someone called my name thing I usually do with YoYo whenever he tries to make really bad jokes, simply won't work in this situation because alas there isn't anyone in the hallway with us, just my luck. “I just learned that I'm going against you tonight and came to wish you luck.” But before I can thank him he continues speaking. “Hopefully whatever rhymes you have in your hand there are better than your little boyfriends disses.” He smirks and walks away before I can make any type of comeback. Things like this are what make me hellbent on winning, the men here are so misogynistic and egotistical I often wonder how they're gonna take it when a woman knocks them off of that pedestal. I roll my eyes and turn around to continue on my journey in finding the man I need. But once again i'm stopped when I see a familiar figure wearing my favorite hat on him. “Jae won?” he turns around at the sound of my voice and smiles “Nuna just the woman I was looking for.” I smile shyly “It seems like i'm a woman in high demand today.” He raises an eyebrow at my confession. “Xitsuh came to the room and just wanted to trash talk.” “Well what’d he say?” “He came and said he wanted to wish me luck, but then turned around and said he hopes I wrote something good tonight, then proceeded to call you my “Boyfriend.” I don't take much notice to how he stiffens at the mention of me being chastised about our relationship or whatever this is. “So… Boyfriend huh?” I roll my eyes which also seems to be popular tonight and walk away before he grabs my arm and pulls me back into his chest. “You shouldn't walk away from your boyfriend nuna it's rude.” “I don't believe you've actually asked me to be your girlfriend mister.”

Jae won POV

“I don't believe you've actually asked me to be your girlfriend mister.” I freeze up again and the box in my back pocket feels heavier than before. I went and got her a gift to make asking this a little less awkward. “Actually that's why I was looking for you.” She turns around a little and tilts her head at me, I can tell she's trying to act casual but her wide eyes are a dead give away of her nerves. Her eyes -- they always giver her away, she's really bad at concealing her feelings, all you have to do is look into those beautiful brown eyes of hers. I reach into my back pocket. “Turn around, close your eyes, and move your hair for me please.” she hesitates but moves her hair off her neck anyway. I take a breath and pull the necklace from the box and slide it around her neck and fasten it. “Ok open.” she looks down at it and looks back up at me. “I know we've only known each other for about 7 months, but there's just something about you. I can't even lie, you stay on my mind a lot. Whenever I see you I get lost in you all the damn time. I know it's quick but i'd like to take you on a date if you'll let me?” She smiles real big and shakes her head really fast and I can't help but laugh at how cute she is. But before we get to enjoy our little moment Joon-Kyung hyung comes up smirking knowingly “I'd hate to break up this little moment lovebirds but Ms Asuka you're up kid.” with that he walks away “Damnit I didn't even get him to look over my verses.” I turn to her and notice she's nervous again. I grab her shoulders to grab her attention. “No matter what you have written down I know you're gonna kill it.” She smiles and hears her name getting called so she starts jogging away but does a U turn and I get confused “Did yo-” I'm cut off by her smashing her lips into mine and running off again.

Asuka POV I smile glad to know that he's here to support me and that the boys are somewhere watching me. The beat i'm doing my first verse on to get the crowd hype, starts playing and I take that as my cue to walk out and start rapping

Bobby called said let me get the car key, you don't want it with the Osaka Barbie, keep marquis, everything sparkly (man down) hit em on a walkie talkie. Hit em, knock knock tell em let me in. my name ring bells, bitch buzz me in, and I only stop for pedestrians or real real bad lesbians. Hit em with the mac hit em with the tec 9 hit em with the rugger by the intersex line put my whole burrough on my back and i'm gooda i don't wanna hear what you would, what you coulda I represent all the girls that stood up, used to drink water with a little bit of sugar now i'm in the gym with my squats and my sit ups young japan pin up, i'm that bitch yea I been up now i'm tellin YG to step his bid up!

The crowd gets hype and before I start my actual song i notice i already have $2,000 on the board. The lights get darker and my second beat starts and I take a deep breath and start rapping again

Better move, better make a better move, Better run quick, hide, 'cause see me I never lose Better shoot, take a shot better shoot, I’ma get what's mine, get the product and the loot, better grind, Tell me where I've gotta go and get it, tell me what I gotta do, I gotta get the benefits and look around, tell me what I gotta go against, Tryna show me who can stop me, I’ma show you I'ma win, 'Cause I am the queen, I am what they want, I have something that cannot be bought, I am the queen, yes I am a boss, I'm in command, I take no days off

Before the hook can start my special guest comes out and the crowd goes even more nuts when the doors open and Jooheon steps out. He starts rapping his part and I look out into the crowd and notice their shocked faces. Everyone most likely thought I would pull some strings and bring someone from YG like G dragon who I haven't even met yet, Mino, Joon oppa thought I'd bring Jae won back, or maybe even one of the boys but I wanted to go out of the box and out of YG so I called up Jooheon, who I met at an awards show a few months ago even though i've been a fan of his for awhile, I was ecstatic when he said yes. While he's rapping I go out into the crowd and they get even louder.

You don’t gotta watch that throne 'cause it's mine, Give that crown 'cause it been my time, There ain’t never be another quite like I, cause if crime pays them i'm bout that life, where? Tell where the queens is at?, independent women that don't need a king for that, 'Cause I am the queen, I am what they want, I have something that cannot be bought, I am the queen, yes I am a boss, I'm in command, I take no days off

When the song ends and I look up at the board I notice that I earned $6,780,000, which is 3x what Xitsuh made which means i'm going to the finals and his ass is going home! I run to Jooheon and thank him for coming and performing with me and as we walk backstage he says ��“Anytime, anything for my big sister” and he smiles. As soon as I step foot off stage I'm bombarded with hugs and and Joon kyung even goes as far as putting me onto his shoulder. “You did fucking amazing!! See whatd I tell you the rap barbie got this in the bag.” He's become keen on calling me the “rap barbie” because he says my face and personality dont match my style of rapping. I smile but see Jae standing against a wall waiting patiently for me to be done. I excuse myself and walk over to him. “See what happens when you have confidence in yourself?” I blush but thank him anyway. He leans in and kisses my forehead and says “I have to go i'm supposed to be in the studio right now, I snuck out to see you and if I don't get back now my manager is gonna have my ass on a plate.” I laugh and thank him for coming but before he walks away we hear someone gasping and I turn around and my jaw drops when I notice that Bobby is standing just a few feet away in what looks like...my jacket? I run up and jump into his arms and wrap my legs around him and hug until he can't breathe. “Nuna.. as much as I love your hugs i'd like to live to see you make it to the finals so please let go.” “What are you doing here? And who said you could wear my jacket?” I let him go and he looks back at Jae then back at me and raises his eyebrow. “Shouldn't I be the one asking the questions?” before I could answer Jae comes and wraps his arm around my waist. “I asked her out on a date if that's alright with you.” Jae knows how much I love Bobby and how close we are so I smile hearing that he cares about his opinion. Bobby smiles that goofy smile of his and I laugh. 

“Of course it's alright i'm glad you finally did it, you guys were starting to make me sick.”

Authors note: This one is a little long but im happy with it and hope everyone likes it!! I've never been in a relationship myself so im sorry if Jae and Asuka are cringy but I love them! 

[dopeloverx]

DopeLoverx: all these spikes and shit DanielTheKing: you thought you was a god? ThatsTy: like y df my nigga aint puttin his hand up like he blokn det shit? DopeLoverx: let me move ThatsTy: yuh ThatsTy: i did DanielTheKing: we can swap dope DopeLoverx: ty besti ThatsTy: like shiiid im Vip, DanielTheKing: they can't attack u DanielTheKing: but they can hug u DanielTheKing: z ThatsTy: mfs still huggn me Guest_EvilXMarc: are my spikes in your way? DopeLoverx: YES! DopeLoverx: >>>>>> DanielTheKing: ion feel em Guest_EvilXMarc: oh lol DopeLoverx: lol ThatsTy: but wen i wasnt vip tryna hug a girl det was vip i kouldnt DanielTheKing: damn ty Guest_EvilXMarc: they look sexy Guest_EvilXMarc: . DanielTheKing: errbody love u ThatsTy: sit weird DopeLoverx: lmfao DopeLoverx: z DopeLoverx: right ThatsTy: my first imvu account i was 13, llf den i neva got on afta i turned 14 n hea i am 2day ThatsTy: gah bak on 2 years ago DanielTheKing: z DanielTheKing: you go way back then DanielTheKing: yah they changed that vip shit ThatsTy: fakts DanielTheKing: when it first came out u couldn't nun to vip DanielTheKing: u was a peasant ThatsTy: nah Guest_EvilXMarc: . Guest_EvilXMarc: lol ThatsTy: u still kant G Guest_EvilXMarc: >.> DanielTheKing: how they huggin u then ThatsTy: buh ion undastand how dey huggn me cus dude next to me was vip she hugged him n he basically pushed ha ass ThatsTy: im like wtf? DanielTheKing: z DanielTheKing: ur vip broke ThatsTy: i need my money bak Guest_EvilXMarc: is he typin about me? DanielTheKing: nah Guest_EvilXMarc: oh DanielTheKing: sumtin else marc Guest_EvilXMarc: im too high Guest_EvilXMarc: smh DanielTheKing: z DanielTheKing: i be tha only sober mf on imvu Guest_EvilXMarc: tryna slide on ole girl next to me ThatsTy: nah DopeLoverx: lol Guest_EvilXMarc: >.> DopeLoverx: its new years ThatsTy: z Guest_EvilXMarc: happy new years to everyone Guest_EvilXMarc: hope you guys get drunk DanielTheKing: it must be new yrs erryday for sum folks then ThatsTy: gne head n slide ThatsTy: G ThatsTy: its a open spot nex to ha ThatsTy: @Dope ThatsTy: yoo Guest_EvilXMarc: @strawberry Guest_EvilXMarc: have a boyfriend? DopeLoverx: when he move i want my corner seat back DopeLoverx: z Guest_EvilXMarc: oop DanielTheKing: lol ThatsTy: u havn a photo shoot dope? DopeLoverx: not rih now why ThatsTy: kus llf u dne changed hella times i just noticed det ThatsTy: i thought u was leavn n kummin bak buh u neva left DopeLoverx: cause the organe was getting on my nerves Guest_EvilXMarc: tryna show off in front of her new friend DanielTheKing: z Guest_EvilXMarc: @Marcus ThatsTy: dead asf DopeLoverx: and the way my back look in the white was frustrating Guest_EvilXMarc: lol. DopeLoverx: so i had to change again ThatsTy: uuh huh ThatsTy: i see DopeLoverx: yuh DopeLoverx  rolls eyes ThatsTy: llf i jus asked sweetheart a nigga was curious, i dead ass thought u was takn pics of yaself Guest_EvilXMarc: @strawberry imma sing to ya Guest_EvilXMarc: hold up DanielTheKing: z Guest_EvilXMarc: lmaoo DanielTheKing: -dies- DanielTheKing: wah u gon sing Guest_EvilXMarc: idek Guest_EvilXMarc: gimmie some DopeLoverx: dont encourage him DopeLoverx: << ThatsTy: he muss b on mobile ion see nobody name strawberry n hea DanielTheKing: z Guest_EvilXMarc: i need a love song DopeLoverx: ikr DanielTheKing: that her mobile name ThatsTy: uhh huh ThatsTy: i see DanielTheKing: dope they be comin for u Guest_EvilXMarc: @magnolia tell your friend to stop cappin DopeLoverx: smh idk why ThatsTy: z Guest_EvilXMarc: she know she want me to sing to her Guest_EvilXMarc: . DopeLoverx: i dont ThatsTy: z Guest_EvilXMarc: lol dont be rude Guest_EvilXMarc: 😂 DopeLoverx: besti wyd ThatsTy: < DanielTheKing: bout to go turn on this heat ThatsTy: yooo DopeLoverx: lol DanielTheKing: cold af DopeLoverx: YOOOOOOO DopeLoverx: llol 8amz has left the chat DopeLoverx: z DopeLoverx: i wanna watch a movie DopeLoverx: any suggestions DanielTheKing: lol idk @ dope DanielTheKing: what u like DopeLoverx: action adventure thriller DopeLoverx: i kinda want a good thriller DanielTheKing: thrillers be havin u on that edge of ya seat DopeLoverx: my lips are numb DopeLoverx: im never doing this shit again DopeLoverx: omm DanielTheKing: doin what DopeLoverx: drinking DopeLoverx: i dont drink DopeLoverx: tryna be cool and shit ThatsTy: yall Daniel finna die DopeLoverx: >> DopeLoverx: why DanielTheKing: damn ThatsTy: kus his girl gne kill em DanielTheKing: drank too much huh DanielTheKing: aye man its a new yr ThatsTy: nah ion do det no mo ThatsTy: im tied asf tho DanielTheKing: can't put that on me so soon DopeLoverx: what did u do ThatsTy: ima b da one dets gne get killed by my girl tbh DanielTheKing: idk what ty talkin bout DanielTheKing: i was doin me Guest_EvilXMarc has left the chat DopeLoverx: ty butt dont make my head hurt DopeLoverx: lol DopeLoverx: im so confused ThatsTy: nah ima blame u too so yo girl kan kill u too DopeLoverx: Seee thats why you my fam ThatsTy: dets y he dyin llf DopeLoverx: you already knew DopeLoverx: z DanielTheKing: yah ThatsTy: im tied asf ThatsTy: its 3:45 DanielTheKing: hell yeah it is DopeLoverx  slips on dawsons breek ThatsTy: tf is det? DanielTheKing: a song ThatsTy: oh ok ThatsTy: buh she dancin on beat doe ThatsTy: z ThatsTy: well she was DopeLoverx: my bihh lookin like oooo yo bihhh lookin like naaahhhh DopeLoverx: Droptop freak and she flossin DopeLoverx: ayeee DopeLoverx  twerks   DopeLoverx: my bihh loookin likoooo yo bih lookin like nah nah DanielTheKing: so Ty u drug free DopeLoverx: i fuckin love that song DopeLoverx: z DanielTheKing: i can tell DopeLoverx: thats all i wanted to hear DanielTheKing: z DanielTheKing: damn i hate shop on here DopeLoverx: im done DopeLoverx: im sleepy kinda DopeLoverx: if i get another new years text DopeLoverx: im turning my phone off DanielTheKing: ooo that alcohol kickn in DopeLoverx: my lips are still numb DopeLoverx: i keep biting them DanielTheKing: i guess u gotta sleep it off DopeLoverx: i gotta work tomorrow DopeLoverx: z DopeLoverx: im a light weight DanielTheKing: wha time DopeLoverx: i cant smoke either cause the weed too stong DopeLoverx: my nepheew got me some gas 1 time DopeLoverx: im thinking im taking that shit DopeLoverx: till i hit it forreal DopeLoverx: almost died DanielTheKing: lol DanielTheKing: were you coughing? DopeLoverx: when i was hitting it nahh DopeLoverx: not till the last hit DanielTheKing: gon cough out ya lungs on tha floor DopeLoverx: shit was painful DopeLoverx: and i was passed out in the next room DopeLoverx: shit was uncontrollable DanielTheKing: awwww DopeLoverx: i dont do drugs DanielTheKing: say no to drugs DopeLoverx: lol DopeLoverx: riii DopeLoverx: im a good girl DopeLoverx: see:) DopeLoverx: my high tho is sex frfr DanielTheKing: lol DopeLoverx: good sex younger looking skin DopeLoverx: more smiles DopeLoverx: lol DanielTheKing  whispers: whats ya fav position? DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lllol are u serious whats urs   DanielTheKing  whispers: doggy and cowgirl lol KGTF has joined the chat DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: oo. depends on teh mood   KGTF: Yoo DopeLoverx: HAPPY NEW YEARS! DopeLoverx: WHATS GOOD MF DanielTheKing  whispers: a quiet place is a good thriller KGTF: Happy New Years KGTF: Lmaoo KGTF: And Shii CHiLlin DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i saw it it was kinda like bird box hella random DopeLoverx: how was it it bringing in 2019 KGTF has left the chat DanielTheKing: damn he left quick DanielTheKing  whispers: u saw searching? DopeLoverx: lol DopeLoverx: i tild u i was boring DopeLoverx: z DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll yep seen that 1 too   DanielTheKing  whispers: damn you seen it all DanielTheKing  whispers: movie buff ass DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i love watching good movies i use to live at teh theater   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i use to wanna be a actress DanielTheKing  whispers: u saw the commuter? DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: nahhh lol DanielTheKing  whispers: damn it'd be cool hanging wit u i love watching movies together DanielTheKing  whispers: its pretty good DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont think i have DanielTheKing  whispers: and i love thrillers DanielTheKing  whispers: and romance haha and action DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: aww DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: im sure ur a romantic   DanielTheKing  whispers: only for the right woman DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: ") i wou;dnt expect otehrwise DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DanielTheKing  whispers: what time is work DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: 3p i close DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: im fucking pissed too DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: but its whatever DanielTheKing  whispers: u got time DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: oh yeahh DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: did u make breakfast DanielTheKing  whispers: i been in here the whole time DanielTheKing  whispers: loll DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DanielTheKing  whispers: ima make it later in tha day DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: what was he talking about getting u in trouble DanielTheKing  whispers: oh cause i got a bestie thats a female DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: hmmm DanielTheKing: yaasss its warm now DopeLoverx: lol me and blankie making sweet warmth right now DanielTheKing: haha thats wassup DanielTheKing  whispers: why you say hmmm? DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont wanna get u in trouble   DanielTheKing  whispers: loll ima not stop having friends cause my gf DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: tho me and toast got something i still move like im single lol DanielTheKing  whispers: people like me and i can help ppl by being me so i cant stop DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: um lol   Guest_pabloperp has joined the chat DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: thats no how that shit works DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DanielTheKing  whispers: what u mean DopeLoverx: people are so weird DopeLoverx: :x DanielTheKing: jump out a plane #2019 DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: you respect her wishes no friends mean no friends lmfao Guest_pabloperp has left the chat DanielTheKing  whispers: Nah b thats not me if i can help someone ima do it DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll   DanielTheKing  whispers: i give a part of myself to my gf no1 else gets that should be enuff DanielTheKing  whispers: you can't hog some1 for yourself ppl aren't made like that DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: thninks about my clingy nature   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: >> um yeah right   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DanielTheKing  whispers: ima be a psychologist DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: thats a pefect idea i wanted to be a thearpist   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: bro swear we friends af DanielTheKing  whispers: ppl seem to love getting advice from me lol DanielTheKing  whispers: so we aint go sumn special goin on? DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: cause u talk to people in a way they understand DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: wait huh DanielTheKing  whispers: people are simple to me DanielTheKing  whispers: im just messin wit u DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: you a scorpio tho DanielTheKing  whispers: we vibe really well i love your energy and honesty even tho u try to hide it sometimes DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: hide my energy? DanielTheKing  whispers: nah your feelings DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: rolls eyes DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: what feelings lol DanielTheKing  whispers: like if you feeling a way about something you tend to tuck it away at times DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: no comment   DanielTheKing  whispers: z DanielTheKing  whispers: its cool...i know most guys are terrible listeners DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DanielTheKing  whispers: why you feel like im a good fit as ya bestie DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: cause u fun to talk to u keep the convo going you always roll with the vibe i throw   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: imvu dont do that shit nomore DanielTheKing  whispers: gotta make tha most of the time u have DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: on earth? DanielTheKing  whispers: plus your vibe is fun lol you always on sum crazy DanielTheKing  whispers: nah with the ppl you come in contact with DanielTheKing  whispers: anything can happen a person mite have to leave imvu for some months DanielTheKing  whispers: then that energy aint there no more Guest_pabloperp has joined the chat Guest_Kingjay23136 has joined the chat Guest_Kingjay23136 has left the chat Guest_pabloperp has left the chat ThatsTy has left the chat DanielTheKing  whispers: that was random af DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: nah its a convo never feel like that DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: with me   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: cause i try key word TRY not to hold back with you   DanielTheKing  whispers: im not expecting you to lay it all on me cause u still gettn to know me DanielTheKing  whispers: i just know that as people we go thru so much DanielTheKing  whispers: and alot of times we dont have ppl to just express ourselves to or with DanielTheKing  whispers: so we carry alot of pain with us and its rough DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: your gonna make me cry that shit is so real   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: the people im around i dont expess myself too DanielTheKing  whispers: like you could be a kid who went thru abuse but couldn't say nun or cps would come take u DanielTheKing  whispers: that shit don't go away DanielTheKing  whispers: or if ya parents was on drugs or u saw someone u was close to commit suicide DanielTheKing  whispers: its alot of shit DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: that happen to you DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: << DanielTheKing  whispers: so i just say ppl need to just be them cause its not guide book to this life shit DanielTheKing  whispers: shit alot happen to me lol DanielTheKing  whispers: but parental abuse was something yes DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: mom or dad DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: << DanielTheKing  whispers: dad DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: alcohol? DanielTheKing  whispers: nah just cause he could DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: beat u woop you verbal? DanielTheKing  whispers: beat down with items, fist, verbal all that DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: im so sorry DanielTheKing  whispers: i wasn't even mad bout that abuse cause shit happens DanielTheKing  whispers: i was more mad at the adults around who knew and aint do shit DanielTheKing  whispers: they just let it happen DanielTheKing  whispers: that was my proof to know adults are fucked up DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: not even adults just some peopl DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: people DanielTheKing  whispers: that shit drove me insane tho DanielTheKing  whispers: couldn't trust nobody forever DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: smh DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: since then ... DanielTheKing  whispers: that shit warped my personality for many yrs lol DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: how   DanielTheKing  whispers: like i didn't wanna be a victim DanielTheKing  whispers: but i couldn't be me without existing with that pain DanielTheKing  whispers: so i kinda acted like someone else for a time being DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: what was your safe place like someone else who? DanielTheKing  whispers: like i just was trying to hang with otha ppl who were prob bad for me DanielTheKing  whispers: just to avoid living with reality DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: do u ever feel like it happen for a reason   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: it being 2019 DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: like have you grown into a better you DanielTheKing: hell nah i wouldn't wish that on anyone DanielTheKing  whispers: but um DanielTheKing  whispers: i've grown alot since then DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: got caught slippin DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lmfaoo DanielTheKing  whispers: the only thing that came out of it was me being able to know how much pain the world is in DanielTheKing  whispers: and how easy it is to hide it cause i hid it very well and i still hide it at times DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: .... DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: << DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: the realest shit i was told as a child when i tried to express my feelings like the REAL shit   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: "sounds like a personal problem" and "Noone cares" DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: but i dont feel that way   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i care about people DanielTheKing: your fam tell u they love u DanielTheKing  whispers: z DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lmfao   DanielTheKing  whispers: this damn thing keep fuckn up DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: there u go   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: z DanielTheKing  whispers: but my parents never told me that DanielTheKing  whispers: nore any of my fam DanielTheKing: i grew up fast af DanielTheKing  whispers: z DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: my dad died protecting me   DanielTheKing  whispers: this mf cursor boy DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: my mom had been thru some shit b4 that DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: when i was in HS she told me everyday just dont come home pregnant   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont even be out like that lol DanielTheKing  whispers: man shit DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: she got preg young with my sister and got married young and then the crack era hit   DanielTheKing  whispers: i never had one sex talk with my parent DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and their dad my sister and brother   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: their dad was hooked on drugs DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and my mom was taking care of them   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: holding shit down DanielTheKing  whispers: i fell into porn at 10 and foul language DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: until my moms mom died then she had to take in her lil sister   DanielTheKing  whispers: ever since then i felt like an adult lol DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and her husband the fatehr of her two childer hooked on drugs raped my moms little sister DanielTheKing  whispers: z DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and that shit fucked her up DanielTheKing  whispers: wtf DanielTheKing  whispers: you can unsee shit ya know DanielTheKing  whispers: can't DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: then fast forward 4 years later she meets my pops DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: whos a family man supporter all that   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: never married has me lol   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and not even a year after that hes gone   DanielTheKing  whispers: shit cray DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: so my mom gonna became   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: different ig   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: always over protective controling   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: grumpy   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i hate to say it lol DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: she didnt like hugging us DanielTheKing  whispers: being a parent is hard af and scary DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: or kissing us DanielTheKing  whispers: my parents never hugged till i was grown DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: ikr DanielTheKing  whispers: well my mom at least DanielTheKing  whispers: my dad shit DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol shit cray DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: my moms been in and out the hospital   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: she let me kiss her and tell her i love her i had to leav her there 1 night DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: after going thru this break up   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: like god knew i needed someone   DanielTheKing  whispers: the world is fucked up man DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: like walking around straght face any dude looking at me getting mugged DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol but inside lol DanielTheKing  whispers: and ppl try to act like we all doing well like everything all good DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i just wanted a genuine hug DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: someone i felt like i could trust to tell me they love me   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: all i got is my mama   DanielTheKing  whispers: ikr DanielTheKing  whispers: the i love you words genuinely with a hug touches your soul DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: my brother and sister different dad they blamed my mother for their fater raping our aunt DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and they didnt like me cause i was born outside   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: so just imagine thru the years   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol the saltynesss and shade DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol the fakeness DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol it was sad   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: we just started getting along again but tbh i still dont trust them sometimes   DanielTheKing  whispers: i bet it was DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont trust their intentions   DanielTheKing  whispers: i wouldn't honestly some shit just dont go away DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i make more money than they ever and my dad before he died set me and my other brother up really well with money   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: so they use me sometimes DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: but because my heart is so giving   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: it hurts hwne i need them in return and they cant deliver i dont want the money i just want my sister ya know DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont want shit you have lol DanielTheKing  whispers: like one reason i wouldn't wish this on anyone cause i was paranoid one time DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: just show me you care about me like yall care about each other   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: a little of what i been thru as far as family lol DanielTheKing  whispers: the word family don't mean nun to me DanielTheKing  whispers: i've seen fam do some dispicable things to each other and its sad DanielTheKing  whispers: yall blood   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: thats why i adored my ex he was family oriented   Guest_Basseses has joined the chat DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: always with his family or doing something for his family DanielTheKing  whispers: i do alot for my fam tho DanielTheKing  whispers: thats why my last 5 yrs been hellacious to some degree DanielTheKing  whispers: somebody always need sum and i dont ask for nun in return DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: bro ya boy broke my heart lmfao   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: im still kinda shell shocked DanielTheKing  whispers: my boy? DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: ya boy meaning the dude DanielTheKing  whispers: oh DanielTheKing: since we scorpios lol DanielTheKing  whispers: z DanielTheKing  whispers: oh my goddddddd DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lmfao DanielTheKing  whispers: this cursor is annoying DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: rofl DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: but yeah and then when i see him   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: all i get is Im sorry   DanielTheKing  whispers: im sorry cause i miss that good pussy DanielTheKing  whispers: z DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: 6 mos i went over that shit like where is baby somethings wrong why cant i get in touch   Guest_Basseses has left the chat DanielTheKing  whispers: they right tho DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: then wehn i did talk to him   DanielTheKing  whispers: times does heal most things DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: he was like we gonna be together again and i love you this and that   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and i saw the bitch DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: he was with on thanks giving DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i asked him before that   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: a few days before cause it was his birthday DanielTheKing  whispers: was his new chick looking like nahhhhhhh? DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i wished him a hbd   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i asked him if he had a girl or was talking to anyone DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: he straight up lied to me bro DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and said NO   DanielTheKing  whispers: z DanielTheKing  whispers: wtf DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: im thinking we gonna be together again and then i saw the bitch   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: he sending me pics of us   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: frm the summer before   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and shit DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: AND YOU GOT A WHOLE BITCH! DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: he dosnt know i know but after i saw that shit i stopped talking to him DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont ever wanna feel like that again left in the dark DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: like i trusted u   DanielTheKing  whispers: damn love DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: if u need sum and i got it u got it   DanielTheKing  whispers: that relationship really fucked wit u DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i question my sanity still DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: like was i crazy for believeing it was real DanielTheKing  whispers: nah   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: like what did i do wrong for him to do that to me DanielTheKing  whispers: you wanted it be real cause you were giving it your all DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: he had me thinking it was forever shit lol DanielTheKing  whispers: it wasnt u it was him DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i feel so stupid   DanielTheKing  whispers: u gave ya energy to tha wrong nigga DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i never saw this guy coming   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i use to tell him you never know someone until at least 2 -3 years   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: in a relationship DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: 4 years lateer   DanielTheKing  whispers: relationships are for adults tho DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: this shit happens   DanielTheKing  whispers: its hard af if u still learning yourself DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: yeah we were young   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: jhene aiko was our summer song lol DanielTheKing  whispers: like if iwas in a relationship when i was younger DanielTheKing  whispers: i would've been a savage i swear DanielTheKing  whispers: i didn't give no fucks 6horty has joined the chat DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: see that relationship turned me into a savage loll DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i was talking to mad dude   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: not to sound like a hoe DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i was faithful for 4 years even after he ghosted me   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i had a 1 night stand   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: started fucking this dude i met over th esummer lol   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: it was crazy DanielTheKing  whispers: im still a savage tho DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: ive calm down since then   DanielTheKing  whispers: i just don't act on it DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: u? DanielTheKing  whispers: yah DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: really? lol DanielTheKing  whispers: i can't make a woman fall in love with me and drop her like a brick cause idc DanielTheKing  whispers: z DanielTheKing  whispers: but i wouldn't do that DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol i still dont get it   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and then feed me bullshit   DanielTheKing: i can't i would feel guilty now DanielTheKing: but catch me some yrs ago DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: smh lol ive never been dirty like that DanielTheKing  whispers: i would sell u a dream like a mf DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: but its fuck him now DanielTheKing  whispers: and have u thinkn all kinda shi DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: where ever he is now i hope he realizes he broke someones heart who rode for them   DanielTheKing  whispers: i like a woman with a nice body DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: we use to have this thing where we would fall out and be liek nahh we together till the lord says otehrwise DanielTheKing  whispers: so she can be my snack lol DanielTheKing  whispers: z DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol and the lord sid otehrwise DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: llol DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: u a scorpio i know u a freak DanielTheKing  whispers: shit a extra freak DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol i know DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: well DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: i dont know know but im sure   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol youd def keeo me wet DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: but DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: on that note DopeLoverx   yawns   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: its about time for me to goto bedddddd DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: << DanielTheKing  whispers: lol DanielTheKing  whispers: id be askn can i hit it in tha mornin too DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: lol be good DanielTheKing  whispers: i needa hit tha gym soon DanielTheKing  whispers: this 6'4ness i going to waste =(( DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: loll DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: well babe DopeLoverx   hugs u   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: im headed out   DanielTheKing   hugs u back   DanielTheKing  whispers: sweet dreams strawberry DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: you have a wonderful night as always a pleasure DanielTheKing  whispers: big factz!! DanielTheKing  whispers: nite DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es3Fm7dLm2o DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: tell me youll listen to it DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: and tell me what u think 6horty has left the chat DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: this is my sleep mood rihgt now DanielTheKing  whispers: i got u ima leave a message for u DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: mk hhun   DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: good night   DanielTheKing  whispers: b4 u go DanielTheKing: z DanielTheKing  whispers: u know what's tha best DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: << DopeLoverx  > DanielTheKing: ?? DanielTheKing  whispers: when someone u really vibe with tell u why you mean something to them DanielTheKing  whispers: to hear that is priceless it feels like time stopped for a sec