#hlcn: wyatt

[holocene-sims]

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fág slán leis an dúshlán a bhí againn an mhí seo mar go dtí seo, i'm on the upside of the sea-saw 🎵

say goodbye to the challenges we have had this month, because so far i’m on the upside of the sea-saw

[holocene-sims]

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july 4, 2021 11:00 p.m. adam's house

[holocene-sims]

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july 4, 2021 7:30 p.m. adam's house

[wyatt] i'm gonna ask again...

[grant] alright, well, let me put it this way. what i didn’t like was very, very specific to me. it was a me thing and you are totally different than me. we are different people and the time period won’t even remotely be the same for us, so things will have changed. so, the experience i had isn’t going to be the one you would have. it’s not worth talking about because it just doesn’t matter.

[wyatt] boo, that’s not an answer.

[grant] okay, yeah, i hated it. still, i would absolutely, like, with every fiber in my being and all of my heart encourage you to go play college hockey if you’re interested. and yes, at the school i went to, if you’re interested in that school in the future. it’s so far off from now that you shouldn’t worry about it but you know what your dreams are and you should follow them. don’t ever listen to anyone else. do what you want. you know yourself best.

[grant] the only thing i'd say–and this goes for literally everything in life–is that if you do something and think it’s going to be amazing and you find out it’s not, trust yourself enough to leave and change paths. don’t stay with something if you’re not having a good, healthy, or safe time.

[grant] now i'm really going to get off my soapbox. i'm not here to lecture you. boring! gross! i'm supposed to be the fun uncle.

[wyatt] safe? did you get arrested or something? my friend at school has a big brother in college and he's in jail for selling cocaine.

[ezra] HAHAHAHA!

[grant] uhh–

[grant] i don’t know what to say but, uhh, i have never been arrested.

[wyatt] so, you didn't get arrested like papa?

[grant] you know about uncle paddy going to jail?

[ezra] he has his mugshots in his car!

[grant] oh, i forgot about that.

[wyatt] wait, why did you call him–

[grant] uncle paddy?

[wyatt] he’s your dad.

[grant] oh, no, buddy, i'm about to destroy your whole worldview…

[ezra] hey, the dragon is here! geez, the head chopping thing took soooooo long.

[grant] yay, alduin time! RIP to the others, though.

[grant] but, um, buddy, he’s not my dad. and your dad isn’t my brother.

[wyatt] liar!

[grant] i didn’t know you didn’t know!

[wyatt] how’s he not your dad? you wear glasses like him! and you laugh like him!

[ezra] wait, what?

[grant] i guess you’re confused because he calls me his son? and, well, your dad and his siblings and i call each other by, like, sibling-y terminology.

[grant] my mom is your grandfather and aunt bridget’s older sister.

[ezra] no! great-grandma aoife and great-grandpa joseph don’t have another–

[grant] no, no, they do.

[ezra] you're lying! liar liar pants on fire!

[grant] i am telling the honest truth! and i'm sorry to surprise! i really thought you knew.

[ezra] well, uh, you can still be uncle grant because you’re cool. you fly planes and do cool stuff like that, and you’re nice and funny and good at video games.

[grant] aww, i still make the cut? i'm still good enough to be an uncle?

[wyatt] of course! but if you become less funner than uncle alex, then you’re gonna get fired from the uncle job.

[grant] at least i know the terms of the contract!

[grant] but damn, you don’t like alex?

[wyatt] he’s kind of annoying. and he and lilly have a crusty white dog. i'm scared of crusty white dogs. they look evil. they’re gonna eat my limbs in my sleep.

[grant] that’s very oddly specific.

[ezra] i'm scared of sporks.

[grant] sporks?

[ezra] and i don’t like ladders.

[grant] okay, but sporks?

[ezra] it’s a fork but uglier and stupider.

[grant] you know what? valid. you’re not wrong.

[wyatt] i hate clowns, too!

[grant] also valid.

[wyatt] you aren’t scared of anything?

[grant] lithium-ion battery fires.

[wyatt] what?

[ezra] that’s a lot of big words.

[grant] yeah, lithium-ion battery fires, especially on a plane, and people being mean to me. germs, too. can’t forget germs.

[wyatt] if i sneeze into an open hand, would it make you cry?

[grant] yeah, a little bit.

[grant] don’t make me summon the crusty white dogs.

[ezra] summon! summon! summon!

[holocene-sims]

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july 4, 2021 7:15 p.m. adam's house

[wyatt] wait, actually, i changed my mind. i want to play skyrim now, too. we can just play one game.

[ezra] yay!

[grant] okay, okay, perfect. we have an agreement. let’s get a new save going. votes for character race?

[ezra] cat person!

[grant] any disagreements? no? sure, then it’s cat person time.

[ezra] can we get a horse?

[wyatt] cats don’t ride horses.

[grant] i think this one should.

[ezra] uncle grant, what were the first games you played?

[grant] ooh, i don't remember the very first one, but it was stuff like morrowind, knights of the old republic, icewind dale. old, old stuff.

[ezra] did you play them in black and white?

[grant] i'm sorry, what–

[ezra] are you choking? do i have to call the ambulance–

[grant] no, no! i'm fine! i'm not–

[wyatt] you said you were old.

[grant] i'm not that old!

[wyatt] i don’t know what life was like in the eighties.

[grant] oh, my soul is withering. i was not born in the eighties!

[ezra] when were you born?

[grant] 1991.

[wyatt] sooooooo...almost the eighties.

[grant] i'm going to pretend i didn't hear that.

[grant] anyway, while this loads, what have you been doing so far this summer? it’s summer break, you gotta enjoy it.

[ezra] uhhh, we go to our friends’ houses a lot, and since mom doesn’t work at the hospital anymore, we can do a lot more stuff. we’ve been learning to bake with her and she takes us to the park all the time. yesterday we went to the zoo.

[wyatt] we got new bikes, too! our old ones accidentally rusted.

[grant] that’s exciting! you can just ride around in the neighborhood all day again. that’s super fun, especially with each other and your friends. i miss that part of childhood so much.

[grant] okay, it’s loaded, but we need a little tiny ground rule, yeah? let’s talk controller sharing.

[ezra] he hogs stuff all the time!

[grant] hey, everyone does that. we all want to maximize our fun. but it’s not fun for everyone when we do that. it stops being fun for you, too, when your hogging the controller starts a fight you don’t want to be in. it ruins the mood.

[grant] okay, um, time is a really awful way to do it, so how about this? one person per area. somebody does the tutorial, somebody does whiterun, etcetera.

[grant] caveat: you can’t artificially delay your time with smithing or enchanting or something like that. if you want to do that, there’s definitely a patience limit, and as a third party, i think i'll reserve the right to decide when that rule applies.

[wyatt] that’s fair.

[grant] okay, pick a number one through ten.

[ezra] hmm, it’s your birthday number?

[grant] first of all, it can’t be my birthday, and second of all, i picked it randomly. no gaming the system.

[wyatt] well, i say four.

[ezra] uhhh, seven?

[grant] i was thinking eight, so congrats! the honor of starting the game is yours, my good sir.