#hmm.. maybe “revenge” is too strong of a word.. but it's what they need lol

[cheeekycharchar]

AN ANGEL ON A MISSION

I just realized what Michael Sheen's face was doing during the end credits and OMFG he is beyond amazing! *o*

I already did an indepth analysis on why Aziraphale acted the way he did after that heart wrenching kiss scene.. but it wasn't until @charlotteharlatan post about the Nightingale song on the car's radio could have been that got my brain into a tizzy.

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong."

Many people paint Aziraphale as this gullible innocent character but don't forget.. he is highly intelligent. Completely traumatized by his past abusive relationship with Heaven but intelligent.

When Metatron told him of their Second Coming plan.. how quickly he put things together before stepping onto that elevator. He turns toward Crowley to give him one last look and heads up to Heaven.

And for the next minute.. we watch as Michael Sheen micro-contorts his expression through the stages of grief.

Shock from hearing Heaven's plans for the Second Coming. Anger for realizing what he was just tricked into doing. Despair for what he gave up when he thought he was making the right choice. And then reorganizing his thoughts and acceptance of his current situation. And that final smirk.. ;) oh.. OH! That is the face of an Angel on a mission against Heaven. And he's already made up his mind. Stop Heaven's plans (again). Get revenge on them for forcing him into this situation. And of course, to get his Crowley back.

GO S3 is gonna be INSANE :D

[osakaso5]

Momo Twelve Hits! Rabbit Chat Part 2: Request Hits 1

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Tsumugi: Thank you for joining, everyone. We'll be accepting requests for Momo-san's RADIO STATION Twelve Hits! here.

Tsumugi: I'll be your moderator, just like I was for IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER. I look forward to chatting with you!

Momo: Heya, guys! ヾ(*´∀)(∀`*)ノ゛

Rinto: Thank you for taking the time to come here. We look forward to your requests for Momo-kun!

Yuki: We sure are ^^

Tamaki: Yukirin's been interrogating us every time he sees us

Momo: Interrogating!?

Yuki: Tamaki-kun, I'll come bring you King Pudding after this

Tamaki: Yaaay

Tamaki: 

Banri: What an aggressive distraction tactic.

Kaoru: Literal bribery.

Momo: Wait, what do you mean by interrogating? I need to know!

Yuki: What do you want, Momo?

Momo: Bribery isn't gonna work on me!

Yuki: I'll take time so serenade you for a whole day

Yuki: With complementary fanservice

Momo: Your bribery is working on me~ ((ヾ(*>∀<*)ノ))

Tenn: Are you sure about this

Ryunosuke: I'm sure it'll be a great day!

Momo: I'm happier than anyone in the whole universe right now! d(`・ω´・+)

Yamato: By the way, his interrogations were constantly asking us if we'd decided on a request for Momo-san yet.

Riku: Yamato-san just went and revealed it..!

Gaku: Merciless..!

Yuki: You've betrayed me, Yamato-kun

Yamato: I don't remember ever being on your side in the first place.

Momo: Wait, you asked everyone that!?

Mitsuki: Every time we saw each other at work, lol

Nagi: He sent messages when he could not see us face to face.

Sogo: I could really feel how strongly the two of you feel about each other.

Momo: Aaaaaaaaaah I'm so sorry, guys! lolololol

Yuki: I was curious about what they were going to request from you

Yuki: So I kept asking them, completely unconsciously.

Iori: So you're saying those messages were all sent unconsciously...

Tsumugi: It's making this request chat even more intense..!

Tsumugi: Let's get right to it. As always, we'll start with Tamaki-san, the youngest of us!

Tamaki: Yup

Tamaki: Can you do a reverse version of Re:vale's married couple thing?

Momo: You mean something like me being the husband who asks Yuki "What's for dinner, honey"???

Mitsuki: That's some high level marriage acting, lol

Tamaki: I mean Yukirin calling you a hunk and stuff

Momo: Huh!?

Momo: No way, absolutely not! If a hunk like him calls me a hunk, we'll get stuck in a hunk loop where I keep telling him, "No, you're  a hunk!"

Rinto: The word "hunk" is starting to lose all meaning! 

Yuki: Don't be silly. You're a hunk too, Momo.

Momo: You're such a hunk for complimenting me, Yuki..!

Gaku: So this is the hunk loop (lol)

Tamaki: lmao

Tsumugi: I'd love to see Re:vale's new (?) marriage routine..!

Tsumugi: Iori-san, you're next!

Iori: Right. I want Momo-san to woo the listeners with a phrase he thinks will make their hearts race.

Momo: Ah! Isn't that the request I came up with for your show!?

Iori: Yes. I thought I'd like to see you give it a try, as well.

Momo: Thanks for doing my request (・ω<)☆

Mitsuki: I know you said something about taking revenge on your show, but I'd totally forgotten about it..!

Momo: In other words, it's a challenge from you to me? I'm already itching to show off my skills, lol

Momo: You're gonna receive something that'll make you so flustered that you turn off the radio!

Momo: In short, my Heartthrob Cannon!

Gaku: Wait, what is it supposed to be short for!?

Ryunosuke: That sounds like a strong weapon from a shonen manga!

Nagi: You understand nothing, Tsunashi-shi. A Heartthrob Cannon is the kind of sweet technique magical girls use.

Iori: I'm going to receive some kind of nonsensical attack..?

Riku: I'll be checking whether or not your Heartthrob Cannon has an effect on Iori!

Momo: I'm counting on ya, Riku (゜▽^d)

Riku:

Iori: Besides, I want you to woo the listeners, not me!

Tsumugi: I feel like if  anyone will find the words  to make even Iori-san's heart skip a beat, it's Momo-san..!

Tsumugi: Riku-san, it's time for your request.

Riku: Okay! Mine is to try out personality tests! 

Riku: Have you done any before? It's really fun, you find out things you didn't even know about yourself!

Momo: Wow! I've played around with that kinda stuff, but never seriously. That sounds fun~!

Riku: There's this app for doing them, and I've been using it a lot. You can do them over short work breaks, or when you're on the move.

Yamato: Riku's personality was something like, "Rude and uncharming. Doesn't even care if you think he's cute or not~" (lol)

Momo: Are you sure that's accurate!?

Riku: I thought I should get rid of my spoiled emotions and become more honest..!

Iori: Please stop phrasing it in such a familiar way.

Momo: But you're super honest already, lolololol

Tenn: There's no way that test was accurate

Momo: That sounds like a fun app. I'm kinda curious to see what I'd get, lol

Momo: It'll be fun to challenge the app to see into my heart (*`ω´)

Riku: I'll tell you the name of the app later!

Ryunosuke: But if he checks it now, what will he do for his request corner!?

Riku: Aaaah! I forgot!

Momo: Riku, you're just the cutest~ (○´∀`)σ)д`○)♪

Tsumugi: Personality tests, now that sounds fun! Riku-san, tell me what app you're using later, too...

Tsumugi: Kujo-san, you're next!

Tenn: Right. Mine is to tell the fans something you want them to know.

Tenn: I felt that was one of the strengths of hosting a radio show by yourself during my Twelve Hits! broadcast.

Tenn: It lets you engage with your listeners properly. I think they'll be happy if you remind them how you feel about them

Momo: Great idea! I don't get to so solo radio shows often, and I do have a ton of stuff to tell my fans!

Gaku: You're pretty quick to tell the fans how much you appreciate them during lives, too.

Mitsuki: Yep! It always makes me think about how happy your fans must be that you love them so much!

Sogo: Same here. Because you respond positively to your fans' feelings of affection, it lets them know that they're allowed to like you.

Tamaki: Can't they  just like you anyway?

Sogo: Of course they  can. But doing that gives them a sense of security that makes them happier.

Tenn: That's important.

Ryunosuke: We should be more aware of that, too.

Gaku: Yeah!

Momo: Our job isn't to smile at our fans, it's to make them smile.

Momo: I know what kinds of miracles idols can make happen. So I just want to share the happiness I've received!

Yuki: I knew you were a hunk, Momo

Momo: No, that's you \(´д`;)ノ

Yamato: That started out nice, but you ended up going straight back to the married couple (?)  shtick again.

Tenn: I learn a lot from Re:vale's lives, too

Tsumugi: I think I understand why Momo-san makes people so happy a bit better now..!

Tsumugi: Nagi-san, you're next.

Nagi: I have a wonderful request for Mister Momo :-)

Nagi: He may ask anything he wants of me, and I will do it.

Momo: Wait, so it's a reverse request!?

Nagi: Precisely. Re:vale have been good senpais to IDOLiSH7, so I want to repay you somehow.

Nagi: It most certainly has nothing to do with me being unable to come up with a request.

Momo: You're so upfront about this, lolololol

Mitsuki: Nagi, you little...

Tenn: As always, your generosity only extends to members of IDOLiSH7.

Nagi: Whatever do you mean?

Momo: Your reasons aside, you're gonna fulfill my request properly, right?

Nagi: Of course. Whether it is an all-night Cocona marathon or merchandise hunting in Akihabara, I will help you with anything you want.

Iori: That's nothing but your own hobbies, Rokuya-san...

Momo: That sounds kinda fun! I don't really do either of those things, so it might help me find a new hobby!

Yuki: Another one?

Yuki: Make it  something you can do at home

Momo: Don't worry! I'll make sure not to even look at the TV if I'm watching the DVDs with you \(*´∀`)ノ

Banri: Yuki... Can't you at least let Momo-kun do what he wants in his free time?

Yuki: Momo's too busy

Momo: You're a hunk even when you sulk, Yuki~!!!

Nagi: Wait a second. Even if Cocona would forgive such an insincere way of appreciating her, I will not.

Nagi: You must devote every fiber of your being to watching her!

Momo: Your Cocona marathons must be pretty hardcore, lol

Momo: I'll think of something you can do for me~(・∀・)ゞ

Tsumugi: I'm excited to see Nagi-san's request get chosen!

Tsumugi: Sogo-san, you're next!

Sogo: Yes. Mine is to talk about something you're secretly proud of.

Sogo: It can be some kind of special skill, too. You've got a wide range of interests, so I thought you probably have many skills, as well. It'd be nice to know something completely new about you.

Momo: Huh!? I don't think I've got anything to brag about, lol I'm just an average guy, lol

Gaku: An average guy couldn't become a top idol!

Ryunosuke: You're setting a very high bar for what counts as average..!

Sogo: I won't mind if it's something really small, so could you please do it..?

Momo: I'm sure I've got some, but I'm not coming up with anything...

Tsumugi: What kind of secret skills could you have, I wonder..?

Choices/outcomes:

1. Maybe you're really good at cutting your own hair?

Momo: I cut it myself sometimes, back when we were really broke, lol I got pretty good at it. I even cut Yuki's hair a few times!

2. Maybe you can predict when your phone is about to ring?

Momo: I'd have to be psychic to do that, lol Though I like to think I've got a sharp sixth sense!

3. Maybe you can take a nap while making it look like you're still awake?

Momo: Back in school, I did that a lot in morning classes because I was tired from soccer practice, lol Don't you think Iori and Tamaki could pull it off, too?

Momo: Hmm... Sorry  for being so slow! I’ll  think of something by  the show! 

Sogo: It's fine! I look forward to your broadcast.

Riku: Excuse me! Can we take a little break!?

Riku: Yamato-san's in kind of a bad shape..!

Momo: Huh!? Did something happen to him? Is he okay!?

Mitsuki: We don't know. He's getting hounded by Iori and Tamaki..!

Gaku: A fight..!

Sogo: It's not anything that serious...

Mitsuki: The geezer forgot a whoopee cushion in the living room, lol

Ryunosuke: As in, the thing that makes a fart noise when you sit on it?

Momo: Ah... Now I get what's going on, lol

Tsumugi: The message log has gotten so long that we may as well take a little break!

Rinto: Right. We'll resume in just a moment!

[092219archive]

i’ve been watching ffxiv cutscenes for the main story (pushing thru heavensward right now) and i’ve been thinking of stuff for my wol lately so i guess now’s a good time to introduce them a bit :-)

here’s a link to the og meme: Self Insert Development Meme

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

wol’s currently nameless... i can’t use with the usual “eren” as per the naming conventions of each ffxiv race (i will use wol!eren to indicate, well, My WoL). maybe if i wanted them to be a hyur i’d be able to, but i’ve been hopping back and forth between aura (raen) or viera (veena)...

edit (8/4): i keep forgetting to update this lmfao,, but my wol’s name is momo and they’re an aura (raen)!

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

there’s only maybe one person who’s aware of the character(s) that i’m maybe. MAYBE. maybe. looking at (eros Do Not Interact). no names as i refuse to acknowledge/perceive them in any manner.

but, the relationship’s still in the works,, i’m thinking it’s a lot of it’s gonna have to focus on positions of power/hierarchies... maybe a bit of slowburn... for spice.

i feel like any rom relationship i could build might. be slow burn. oops!

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

in terms of story, i think wol!eren’s really close to alphinaud; i get familial vibes from him (and actual wol spends a very large chunk of time with him as well)... but personally, i’m thinking estinien. yea he’s a bit of an asshat but he’s cool (but ig that makes wol!eren a bit of an asshat too)

when it comes to who wol!eren’s not close with... honestly, anyone that abuses their position of power for selfish and harmful reasons at the expense of people go on the hit list. but even then, if the character’s one of the main characters/shown often then it’s like... i’d have to think about it a little more. happens a lot

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

hmm much like my other s/is, wol!eren delves on their past often despite their preaching of looking forward. a hypocrite they are!! (/s) a lot of my self ships also delve on like. “same hat” so... honestly they’re just kinda going with the flow and walking wherever they feel is an easy path. they’re a pretty passive person despite the role they’ve been given.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if they're evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

as per the narrative, they were chosen by hydaelyn and have the echo. however, they’re also extremely perceptive. they can typically tell whether someone has good intentions or not. the issue is that it’s always a feeling and they usually don’t have anything to prove their claims. as a result, they rarely say anything about it. it's not really a “power” but it can certainly be helpful.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

i plan on wol!eren being a summoner! or maybe not exactly a summoner, but something to do with magic being used offensively. they hate getting their hands dirty so they’ll just blow you up instead.

they mainly fight because it’s their duty/obligation to fight, but had they not been in the position they were, they’d have sooner leave combat and live off the grid. nobody really knows this because they never voice it -- it also wouldn’t be good for a warrior of light to say “yea i hate my job and i don’t really care about some of you”, you know?

(7/18) edit: with the help of my ffxiv mutuals, i’ve decided to make wol!eren a black mage :) it’s definitely fitting for their character.

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

REALLY DARK CLOTHING. if they show any skin when they don’t have to, they’ll Perish. i intend for them to wear the void ark clothing for magic users but much like everything else, that’s subject to change. clothing that’s aesthetically pleasing and easy on the eyes is good.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

literally the protagonist but very much desires to be a side character. because they like playing a supporting role more than the main role, they live in “anonymity.” kinda. it’s just hard when the group you’re apart of and gods?? know literally just about everything you’ve been doing.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

they will. eat just about anything they’re given, even if the food’s not super great (like a raccoon.....). they don’t really have any particular favorites and if they do, it’s likely to be meat or basic, easy-to-make dishes.

just anything that’s dark/muted. color colors (blues, purples, etc.) are their favorite.

they very much enjoy doing absolutely nothing, especially now that they’re so busy with working. if they’re free from work even if it’s just for a few seconds, you will find them sleeping. Lazy

if they like something, they’d never say it out right. extremely private and closed off person, so unless you’re really close with them, you’d never know if they truly liked something.

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

literally just anything that inconveniences them. they want things to run smoothly so they don’t have to deal with anything they don’t have to. when something arises that stops them from fulfilling their duties, they’re get irritated. they also just, not the biggest fan of people and socializing.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

they’re easily prone to negative emotions, but it’s not “major/serious” since they’re mostly out of touch with their emotions anyhow. if it gets really bad, they kinda “shut down.”

one way to get under their skin is confront them about personal matters, but you can cheer them up if you have a good sense of humor! alphinaud’s helped with that, albeit unintentionally more often than not.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

i think i did mention earlier that wol!eren really doesn’t like crowds. it takes them a very long time to genuinely consider someone as a friend. sometimes they might not even acknowledge someone even if said person tries their hardest to befriend them. and there’s not really a type of person who they’re really “uncomfortable” with (spoilers they’re always uncomfortable with everything asjfhsd), but i guess if i had to answer, it’s just anybody with potentially harmful intentions?

they have. Trust Issues™, if you will.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

in the past, they wanted to live a comfortable life as a recluse where they can do things without the eyes of others watching... and they still do, but now they’re too accustomed by the presence of people to truly achieve that. after their duties as a wol (if they’re ever completed honestly), they’d probably pull a cloud final fantasy and start a delivery service or something like that LOL

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

sssomething like that? so far i’m thinking they come from a family of arooound 5. 2 siblings + parents. they have a younger sibling who’s a miqo bard mercenary and an older elezen (?) astrologian currently working somewhere in ishgard. debating on who their parents are but all of them were kinda... “picked up” and put into a family.

the “parental figures” were desperate to have a family but they had little knowledge of how to care for children. needless to say, the environment was not one to flourish in.

miqo brd is kinda like robin hood where he steals from the upper class to give to the poor because he refuses to allow people who’re in need suffer due to a lack of resources. on the other hand, the ast is the elezen who wants nothing but peace. the downside is that he’s very aggressive with his ideals and follows people like the archbishop, thordan.

edit (7/18): wol!eren wasn’t tied to their family biologically, but due to their questionable actions and words, they cut ties with their family and started traveling alone. it was extremely difficult but because they didn’t stay in confines of their own home, they were able to meet the scions and the not.

alphinaud and alisaie are like their siblings. they share a surprisingly a deep, unspoken familial bond with the three because of all the adventures they went on together. wol!eren’s been caught acting like an older sibling to the two.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

much like the actual in-game wol, i’d imagine that anybody that wants to stop the wol in their tracks are considered “enemies.” i haven’t gotten that far into ffxiv to really name characters though,, tba.....

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

if ur into ffxiv and u’ve gotten this far down... thank u :) and talk to me abt ur wols or ur ffxiv faves in my inbox maybe?? 👀

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch Episode 26 “Time to Pick some Names”

mysterylover123

We return to normal school stuff with a fun little episode, packed with some ominous foreshadowing.

Seeing Izuku getting hounded like this just makes me wonder what kinda attention the other kids get. Especially Bakugo.

This draft picks do make me wanna call bullshit a little though. Like, I get why Deku isn’t up there. But why is Kaminari, who got taken out in seconds, in 5th, and Ashido, who made it into the second round and has a very popular and easily demonstrative quirk and look, not up there at all?!

This episode is really shippy, you guys. Todomomo here. Look at how she looks at him. She likes him. Convince me otherwise.

Iidaraka making an appearance too! Aw, lookit her shaking him!

Why is Midnight the chooser of names, BTW? She appears to have bad taste in names, despite her own decent Hero name, so what gives her the right?

Baby Aizawa and Present Mic! Seriously, Mic should’ve been the one presiding over Hero Names! He gave Aizawa a great one and has one of his own! Seriously, it could’ve been perfect!

Aww someone’s nervous!  (edit: this screencap didn’t quite grab the right moment. Basically, Bakugou looks endearingly nervous in this shot.)

So my thoughts on the names:

Aoyama needs to change his. cantstoptwinkling is too long and unwieldy to be a Hero Name and it sounds ridiculous (he says it in English so I know it isn’t just some weird translation).

This was perfect. Screw you Midnight. Alien Queen should’ve been Ashido’s name.

This one’s nice. People do call her Froppy sometimes. I like too how this beat is played: The first two names make everyone nervous, and Tsu puts them at ease. That seems to be her role in Class 1-A: to help people deal with crisis situations and stress.

Red Riot is another winner. Being derived from another famous name is not a problem; it’s a comic book tradition. Though this does bring up that pesky Imitation theme once more. Kiri wants to be just like Crimson, and that concept gets explored in more depth in the Internship Arc. It makes me wonder if Kiri should switch names to symbolize throwing off that role, or if he should stick with it to symbolize the good Crimson brings to him.

Izuku himself notices the similarities between Kiri’s name and his own fixation with All Might for me so I don’t have to explain it.

Now we are met with the CUTEST FUCKING IMAGE EVER COMMITTED TO SCREEN OR PAPER. DEKU YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS.

Now some snarky Kamijirou content! Someone’s a little bitter about Kaminari getting more draft picks than her, aren’t you? Actually, I feel like there are some similarities between Kamijirou and BKDK - both pairs argue a lot, yet seem to share an odd connection. The diff may be that while Jiro is more like Midoriya in terms of power and personality (she even takes obsessive notes like he does), she’s the one who antagonizes Kaminari. He’s more Kacchan-like, perhaps why he’s friends with the guy, more born-powerful and cocky, but he’s the one who gets messed with. I dunno, interesting connection. 

Probably the coolest sounding of the names that are just ‘my quirk’. Jiro can stick with this one.

Kinda generic but hey, it’s better than Jamming-yay.

Also kinda generic, maybe something that sounds cooler in Japanese, I’m guessing?

Not half bad, but it doesn’t really sound like a hero name.

This one’s a bit generic, but darn it all if it doesn’t sound like a name you’d find in superhero comics.

Ditto.

Triple ditto. Actually a name in Superhero comics. 

This one’s terrible. Mina deserved better.

Hmm...Momo...this isn’t terrible, per se, but I still think Yaoyorozu could have a cooler one.

LOL. Also sad: by rejecting his surname and choosing only his given name, Shoto makes a statement. An “I don’t want to be like my dad” statement.

Good I guess? I do kinda know about this one from reading Naruto. It’s a thing in Japanese that I will probably not get well as a dumb American.

Though to be a smart American for a second: Anima...it sounds like he’s talking about that Joseph Campbell theme on anima/animus, male/female, hero with a thousand faces (Just kidding, it’s short for Animal.)

HAHAHAHA OH KACCHAN YOU ECCENTRIC SHITHEAD. Actually, this one is a pretty clever play on his surname in the original Japanese, “Bakusatsuo”. Someone really likes playing on kanji meaning (Deku), doesn’t he? King Explosion Murder is too long and unwieldy, but I think just “King Explosion” or some similar pun could’ve actually worked fine. Just take out the murder part, dumbass.

My favorite one. Meaning: Her surname, her desire to support her parents. Instantly conveys who she is, what kind of hero she wants to be. Perfect.

OMG IIDA FEELS. This plays into his arc in the next story arc, actually. Iida feels he can’t take the name Ingenium until he has done with Tensei couldn’t: kill Stain. And that is why he’s so fixated on revenge. 

And finally DEKU. Which is, yeah, what we call him...it does sound a little odd as a superhero name, though. This is an Izuocha moment I actually, like, BTW. Just nice wholesome friendship. No weird obsessions or comparisons with serial killers. 

Speaking of Uraraka. The Gunhead Agency! You gotta love that Wonder Duo and how they influence people, huh? One fight with Bakugou and she’s all signed up to go be a DBZ fighter. Also, I can see why Kacchako fans are into that. One of Ochaco’s biggest character shifts, and he inspires it. I can dig.

The #1 hero everybody! Hori does try to give a plausible excuse for why All Might forgot to mention Gran among the People Who Know list...then doesn’t bother with it at all when Nighteye comes up. Ah well. I honestly kinda just want the List of People who Know to keep expanding to comedic levels. “Oh and this is my old exgirlfriend who also knows! And this villain! And this random guy! And maybe your mom!”

Speaking of moms, I’m sure Aizawa officially transforms into Class 1-A’s when he tells Ashido not to slur her words. 

The shipper in me wants to gush about how Izuku and Ochaco went to worry about Iida (Iidaraka!) but more sincerely, I want to quickly comment about how well BNHA handles the Power of Friendship. This trope can be so irritating when done poorly, but the friendship in Hero Aca is actually, in my opinion, really realistic. And the power of it is mainly showcased by how friends can simply support and be there for each other, rather than Friendship is the Allmighty Power of the Universe all Will Bow Down Before it. (And also it’s a thing villains can have! And a thing that can fall apart and be unpleasant!)

ANGRY IIDA!

So yeah I really enjoy this episode. It’s not especially deep or heartbreaking (ASIDE FROM TENSEI!!!!) but it’s an enjoyable watch. I’ve actually watched this one a lot because it’s light and fun and something of a one-off. I wouldn’t claim it’s the Best of HeroAca or anything, but It’s an enjoyable ride. Of course, can’t say I’m not more excited to get to next episode. As a big Deku fan(girl), I can tell you my reactions to that one will be something.

BKDK CORNER

Guess who gets paralleled with Izuku’s love interest once again? Seriously, there are a lot of odd, ongoing parallels between Bakugou and Uraraka with their relationships to Izuku, and I’m not sure why if not for subtext. (I want Bakugo’s Ultimate Hero Name to be a play on his first name too. So both members of Wonder Duo have First Name Puns). The OT3 is strong in this one.

My Deku sense is tingling.

BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: Iida Mom! (she only appeared last ep but sh)

RANKER: Class 1-A’s Hero Names

21. Pinky

20. Cantstoptwinkling

19. Creati

18. Tenya

17. Shoto

16. Cellophane

15. Deku

14. Bakusatsuo

13. Tentacole

12. Anima

11. Sugarman

10. Chargebolt

9. Invisible Girl

8. Tailman

7. Alien Queen

6. Earphone Jack

5. Tsukoyomi

4. Froppy

3. Red Riot

2. Ingenium 

1. Uravity! (Congratulations Ochaco, you were the MPV of this ep)

[pekorosu]

no.6 novels thinky thoughts

--------

so… i ended up finishing all 9 vols in about a week haha.

my overall impression? it was… alright, i guess.

not that i didn’t enjoy it, in fact, the first half was great! by the time i reached the end though, i had mixed feelings. sat on it for a week or so but a lot of it remains a vague hhhmmmmmblah blob that i’m not done figuring out. 

i still wanna make a post as a form of closure for myself though, so i’m just gonna dump whatever comes to mind here. don’t mind me.

so... the ending. i guess it was supposed to be open-ended in a hopeful way, but it just came across as unsettling to me. the ~chosen one~ thing rubbed me the wrong way, because shion was entrusted with an enormous responsibility that no 16 year old should even be shouldering in the first place. (i mean yea okay he did willingly accept it, but still. why only him? why aren’t they all collectively responsible?) 

meanwhile the actual perpetrators get to escape all the consequences by just… dying. just like that. and the rest of them, especially the adults… they’re pretty much useless? even the ones that wanted to do something by staging a revolt ended up being unreliable either bc 1. they were drunk on revenge or 2. all that power was getting to their head. ironically, rou was like “it’s all on us, the adults” but in the end even he decided to just spend the rest of his life chilling out underground -_-

on top of that, shion had to let go of nezumi. idk about y’all but that ending, that “promise to meet again” kiss was like… i couldn’t help but wonder if nezumi only did that because shion was all “a world without you is meaningless” and he had to give him something to cling onto. followed by shion’s devoted “i’ll keep waiting” which… idk, something about it felt utterly depressing. to be fair, nezumi always keeps his promises and the epilogue was vaguely hopeful i guess, but it still didn’t give me the sense of closure that i needed. 

to clarify, i’m not saying it’s a bad ending. it’s realistic and the implication that there’s still a lot of work to be done is very much in line with the story’s themes. just that something about it didn’t work for me personally, plus the lead up to it felt rushed, so it left me feeling :/ when i was done.

the plot… well, it started out exciting but turned out to be rather anticlimactic? the shift from science to supernatural had a proper build up, but still felt like a letdown for some reason… 

i think... maybe it’s bc dystopian stories tend to culminate in a huge battle and stuff like that, while this one just… didn’t. there was no final showdown with the Big Bad. there was chaos, but it hadn’t descended into total devastation yet, with the ultimate message that maintaining peace is always more preferable in order to prevent any more senseless deaths. and i guess that threw me off a little? not in a bad way, it was just unexpected bc i’m so used to the whole “final boss” format.

speaking of which, the antagonists were very one-dimensional, and for dictators they were surprisingly… weak. i mean, i get that hubris was precisely the reason for their carelessness and subsequent destruction, but it felt too convenient, too simple.

and i was sorta expecting something more gruesome when they got to the top floor of the correctional facility. idk, i guess brains floating in tubes just couldn’t compare with that scene of them climbing a mountain of corpses+half-alive people, which i had the misfortune of reading right before dinner. that was straight up horror.

and for all its depiction of the horrors of a police state, of poverty, famine, genocide… i felt like it stopped short of something. this isn’t meant to be a proper critique ofc, just that i remember feeling like the writing came across as wishy-washy or superficial at times, even though i knew the author’s intention wasn’t to hand out answers, but to get the readers to think. something about the way it was handled left me feeling unsatisfied i guess. 

that said, there were stuff that i did like! eg. i liked how the story dealt with the “we’re all human beings” statement from shion. it started out as a simple, idealistic “all lives matter” kind of thing, only to be turned on its head when he comes face-to-face with the kind of atrocities no.6 has committed. then it becomes less about that and more “our shared humanity means that we too have the capability to become cruel and apathetic.” or at least, that was my takeaway. 

hmm… in hindsight, i think it does what it set out to do well enough. that is, to convey a certain message to a certain group of people (teenagers i guess. this is YA after all). to inspire them to think for themselves, to realise that apathy is dangerous and to take responsibility for their own learning, but also to know that doing the “right” thing is not just about good intentions; it is constant hard work but still important work... among others. all of which are solid themes and messages. god knows when i was younger and learning about all this for the first time, even the simplest things would leave me mindblown for days. if i’d read this back then i imagine it would’ve left a bigger impression too.

the main highlight for me though, was probably the character scenes. i was surprised to find out how introspective the story was, with the majority of it dedicated to the characters’ internal thoughts and conflicts. 

sadly though, the side charas’ POVs (like inukashi’s and karan’s) ended up becoming tediously repetitive and draggy despite starting out strong. and safu… poor safu, she pretty much got the shortest end of the shit stick being the Plot Device Damsel In Distress Who Is Eventually Fridged. i had higher hopes for her ):

as for the rest… i don’t really care about rikiga… and who else… oh right! small nezumi team! hamlet, cravat and tsukiyo. 10/10 love them, would never get tired of their cute little squeaks.

and the protags… shion started out kinda bland but ended up being the easiest to relate to haha. eg. his constant struggle to reconcile his personal ideals with practical reality. and it was interesting to see how he confronted and came to terms with some harsh truths. he always tries so hard. sometimes it hurt to read, but it made me want to root for him and in a way, it gave me strength too. 

also his apparent “lack of interest” in sex/women/etc... i know it’s generally played for laughs or to highlight his ~naivete~ or ~immaturity~, but whatever lol it’s something i can relate to it v strongly.

nezumi took a while for me to warm up to even when i understood why he is the way he is. the callousness, hostility, volatility… they’re all defense mechanisms rooted in his trauma, but still, knowing that didn’t make him any less irritating lol. he could be deeply hypocritical at times and his tendency to randomly explode at shion was grating. on the plus side, it’s always very satisfying whenever we do get a glimpse of his more vulnerable side.

them as a pair though… i’m not a huge fan of the “fate brought us together” trope so i was skeptical at first. nezumi being so prickly and moody at first didn’t help either, but shion. oh shion, he tried so hard to worm himself into nezumi’s heart, to prove himself worthy, that i couldn’t help but be charmed. to me, they started out more like “snarky senpai and curious kouhai” as opposed to “friends” or even “potential enemies” as nezumi liked to insist they were, which made for an amusing dynamic. 

and while they did grow on me over time, they don’t make me feel that INTENSE CHEST STABBING feeling that i get with other ships. idk why, i mean, their sarcastic exchanges were amusing, their brutally honest arguments were compelling, and the pining (which is my #1 weakness) was through the fucking roof with shion. but still, something was missing.

sidenote on something the author mentioned in the guidebook interview (my own rough t/l):

I like writing about relationships between people of the same sex, not just boys. When it comes to the opposite sex, the end result of being attracted to each other is always romantic love, or getting married…… To a certain extent, the “template” for that is already fixed, isn’t it? But when it comes to the same sex, there can exist a connection that can’t be expressed in the usual cliched words like friendship, camaraderie, love, hatred… I think there’s meaning in writing about relationships that can’t be clearly defined. What’s between Shion and Nezumi is a “one-of-a-kind connection” that’s born out of a certain situation, out of certain experiences that only they have gone through. I wanted to find out what exactly that connection is, which was why I wanted to try writing it. Of course, that “one-of-a-kind connection” would probably exist between people of the opposite sex as well. After all, the feelings that emerge from a chance meeting of two human beings can never be something that’s mass-produced. But still, I think the one thing that I really enjoy writing about has got to be the unique emotions that develop between people of the same sex.

i know she doesn’t mean anything negative here, but idk… it kinda reminds me of the way yoshida akimi discussed ash and eiji’s relationship in banana fish, and the way she discussed what she found so special about same-sex relationships that is lacking in m/f relationships. and something about it bugs me so much. i don’t even know why or how to explain it… 

it sounds like to them, there’s something fundamentally “different” about same-sex relationships. "different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad” and in fact, it even sounds positive in this context because the implication is that that “difference” allows for more freedom and variety in relationship dynamics. but i guess, the closest thing that i can come up with is that it sounds… othering? i don’t know….......

speaking of which, i suppose shion/safu is a subversion of that typical m/f relationship. shion can never love her the way she wants him to, which is heartbreaking, but also refreshing in a way.

and you know what… it just occurred to me that maybe, maybe… it’s the same with shion and nezumi. and maybe that’s why something about them feels off to me. i mean, obviously the strength of their feelings for each other is indisputable, but idk if the essence of it is the same. 

shrugs. anyway, yeah.

the honest truth is that, while i enjoyed their interactions immensely, they just don’t ignite the same fire in me as all my other otps. that said, i still do have a lot of thoughts on them! maybe that’s a post for another day.

some other stray thoughts:

- was it ever explained how nezumi built his robo rats? or where tf he managed to gather so many gold coins? was this something the story just handwaved or did i just forget?

- nezumi wanting to leave on a journey at the end baffled me. even though him eventually leaving was foreshadowed a couple times, he never really struck me as a wanderer to begin with. but now that i think about it… i wonder if he’s leaving bc he wants to, or rather, needs to look out for any other remaining forests and natural environments. that’s what his people did, didn’t they? protect the forests. i wonder if he’s going to go look for others like himself. after all, he’s the only surviving indigenous person left in the area surrounding no.6, isn’t he? hmmm.

language-wise... this is my first proper japanese (light) novel so i’m feeling kinda accomplished rn! lol. it was surprisingly not as tough as i had expected. i think the most difficult part was actually reading the quotes at the beginning of each chapter bc it’s in a font that’s so hard to make out.

oh, and again, some parts felt really redundant. i kept wondering if it was a language thing or an author thing. either way, i felt like there were quite a few unnecessary rehashes that could’ve been omitted to improve the pacing. 

sequels, other adaptations...

i’ve not read “beyond” yet, which apparently has sequel-ish bits? i’ve ordered it, it’s on its way, but i have a feeling my impression won’t change that much even after i’ve read it. heck, it might get worse judging by all these lukewarm reviews. i’m definitely gonna see this through to the end, but i’m feeling kinda scared now lol.

i might check out the anime? based on the summaries on wiki, it sounds like quite a lot has been altered, but i’m still curious about the visuals. dunno if i’d wanna check out the manga. if it’s exactly the same as the novels or the anime then maybe not…

oh yeah, their anime/manga versions look quite different to how i imagined them! mine’s closer to the novel covers i guess. especially nezumi. i imagined him with short hair. maybe not all super saiyan like the one below, but yea.

lastly, i just had a good look at all the vol covers and i actually think they look pretty cool! i’m really glad i chose to get this version instead of the bunkobon. i mean, i don’t know if i will ever reread this again, but at least the covers are nice to look at haha.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 6 “Uncovered”

This is a re-posting from Nov. 4th, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

So much for Thursday/Friday postings. This episode ripped my heart out through my teeth, so you know I've gotta get thoughts down on paper. What’s today’s theme? The folly and inexperience of youth, but as much as I want to dive straight into my impassioned defense of Ozpin, we need to make sure that we unpack the new intro first. And, you know, the rest of the episode...

The highlights have already been circulating for the last week, most notably the animation of Ozpin’s (presumed) past reincarnations… and the fact that the one right before the guy we think of as Oz looks like a dad. He looks like Tai’s brother. One of these Ozpins is not like the others and honestly I kind of love it. Seriously though, in the realm of actual analysis there are a number of details I want to make sure we put a pin in before moving forward. Let’s make use of our good friend the list:

The beginning is super fluffy with the gang hanging out while waiting for the train, Ruby chasing after Weiss, and Blake watching them fondly. Out of the whole group Yang is the only one who appears upset, staring morosely out the window where we get a flash of Adam. I think this is significant given that she seems to be the most volatile of the group right now. As we’ll see, though most of them have beef with Ozpin, Yang is the one instigating the fights.

We have a moment where the camera moves through Maria’s eyes and then immediately does the same with Ruby’s. Are Maria’s eyes also important? Perhaps her semblance is connected to her blindness somehow.

We see (I think??) Roman’s hat blow by right before the hooded person (Cinder) is broken up by red slashes across the screen. Omg could he actually come back? I mean yeah, he literally got swallowed whole by a grimm, but he also might have cut himself out a la Hannibal Chau style. Please bring back my flamboyant fave and have him get revenge on Cinder. That would be so very excellent.

There’s a young woman (Salem) staring up at a statue of Oz. Last week it seemed weird that this statue looked so very much like his Vol. 1-3 reincarnation, but considering we’re in Jinn’s story world she might be borrowing imagery that the gang is familiar with. Either that or the reincarnations tend to look like each other in time? Idk. To be decided.

Jaune slams Ozpin up against a freaking wall. Given how this Volume is going so far, I’m pretty confident that it’s Ozpin and not Oscar. Wonder if Jaune is finally going to confront him about his part in Pyrrha’s death…

Plenty of potential WhiteRose (as mentioned in the first recap). Seriously, I try to keep shipping out of these (a few Ozqrow jokes aside…) but I’ve also gotta call any potential setup as I see it, and given the happily chasing after her, using her glyphs at the end, the final shot of Weiss helping Ruby to her feet, Ruby collecting dust cartridges later in the episode, her calling Weiss's name in Jinn's world, Weiss doing the same for her… all of this could just be them re-developing their relationship after the separation. Could also be something more.

Also in terms of that final shot: having the whole group—Ozpin included—standing together and facing down some threat is very reassuring after this week’s episode. Ngl lol.

Finally, we have those grimm arms reaching out to drag Qrow into darkness, notably while he’s drinking. “Wow,” I say to myself. “Those arms sure do look a lot like Cinder’s!”

Oh look. We open on Cinder.

Classic rule of television: if you don’t see a body they’re not dead yet. (Unless, apparently, you’re Ozpin.)

(…but maybe not Roman.)

She’s clearly terrified, waking up in water with her eyes darting every which way, groaning when she finally pulls herself to shore. It’s always good to throw your villains into moments like this where their basic—human—instincts take hold. It makes them a little more sympathetic (if not more justifiable) and therefore more compelling. At this point I really have no desire to see an attempt at a Cinder redemption arc, but even I’m wincing at that panicked look on her face.

She’s having trouble summoning up her power, presumably because she just got her ass beat by another Maiden. It comes back pretty fast though, which really helps put into context how powerful these women are. Even freezing them from the inside out is only going to knock them out of commission for a little while.

Cinder takes a look way up to where the tree stands and pounds her grimm hand against the rocks in frustration. Apparently these things are ridiculously strong because it opens up a crack in the mountain, letting a sliver of light shine through to her face. (A trope normally reserved for the heroes.) Cinder then uses her One Punch Man powers to break out, considering that her flames are still sputtering.

Outside she meets a sweet, no-name woman who makes the mistake of stopping to help. Cinder steals her clothes, her money, and presumably kills her. RIP nice lady just trying to do her grocery shopping.

We realize that Cinder woke up weeks ago as we move into another flashback at the house. There the team has their first conversation about the relic.

Ruby: “We need to take the relic to Atlas?”

Qrow: “That’s what Oz said.”

For all his banter and bluster, Qrow is a very passive character. He has so little faith in himself that he needs to put it in others—so he fosters pretty much all of that onto Oz. Ruby is the one who subtly questions why they’re taking the relic all the way to Atlas. Qrow is the one who just reiterates that these are Oz’s orders, so that’s what they’re gonna do. Right now he’s not questioning his general and I’ll be interested to see if and how that changes after the events of this episode. One of the reasons for Qrow’s dark descent in the intro?

We have a funny exchange where Ren points out that the borders of Atlas are closed, but no worries. They have a missing Schnee heiress to get them through! What’s less funny is when Qrow mentions that they actually wanted to seal the relic back up in the vault but can’t because they don’t have access to the Spring Maiden. Cut to a guilty looking Yang. Not that they’d have much chance convincing Raven to help them (what is she up to with Tai??), but again: Oz isn’t the only one keeping secrets.

Ozpin comes out leaning heavily on his cane and wincing with each step. Hmm. Another indication that, despite his power, he’s surprisingly fragile? I’m still wondering how Cinder won that fight and it looks like he isn’t recovering as quickly as the rest of the group, despite the fact that everyone took a beating in Haven. Something to chew on.

Still talking about the relic, Jaune mentions that they don’t know what the thing actually does and we get to see Ozpin’s conflicted expression before he whirls around with a smile. He’s clearly weighing what he should and shouldn’t tell them, secrets later revealed in the episode. He says that the relic has a “wonderful and incredibly dangerous ability”—important wording! We’ll come back to that. It can answer any three questions every 100 years, provided they’re not about future events. Ozpin claims that the questions were asked before the relic was sealed away so, sorry, no knowledge to gain right now.

Jumping a little farther into the episode, we also continue the plot-line with Cinder sneaking around in the dead woman’s clothes, realizing that she’s very much a wanted criminal now. She heads into this super sketchy spider gang and asks for information on Team RWBY and the others—not going back to Salem then—throwing down the woman’s lien as payment. The leader assures her that she’ll have their locations within a week… despite the fact that she already knows where they are. The “big guy,” Hazel, was asking first.

Back with the group. Ruby finds the relic lying nearby while Yang tries desperately to get her bike out of the snow. Despite having agreed to this plan of separating and stranding themselves, Yang is expressing her frustration by treating it like a cruel trick of fate, complaining about that as well as the fact that they’ve “gained a defenseless old woman.” After Maria introduces herself and comments a little about being hard of hearing, blind, and how her glasses need a tuneup, we slam hard into the heart of the episode. Good. I’ve got things to say about how these kids are acting like… well, kids. Yang has basically just had a temper tantrum in the snow and Qrow rightly points out that they need to try to keep calm so as not to attract more grimm. Yang—as we expect—uses this opportunity to segue back to the relic. She wants to know why Ozpin lied to them. Oscar thinks they deserve to know too and forces (maybe?) the switch.

“I didn’t lie,” Ozpin says. He just didn’t provide them with all the information. This immediately sets Yang off because that’s just a technicality. An excuse. Right? Well, yes and no. Do people sometimes manipulate others by doling out pieces of information and then claiming, “I didn’t really lie”? Yes, absolutely. But there’s also something to be said for adults withholding information in an effort to protect their charges. Like… if a kid asked you how someone died there’s a BIG difference between saying, “They were murdered” vs. “Oh, well the murderer tortured them for days and then sent pictures of it to their family and then gutted them very slowly….” Yeah. Sometimes you don’t need that kind of shit weighing you down and in this case Ozpin has an additional, practical reason for not telling them that the relic attracts grimm: their worry would just bring more. Which is exactly what I said last time. Telling them wouldn’t change the situation—there’s a very good chance it would actually make things worse—so he tried to give them what little peace he could.

Weiss: “You know, I’m getting real tired of people choosing what’s best for me”

An understandable statement? Sure, but Weiss is still a kid. Yes, 14, 15, 16, and even 17yos are still kids, whether we want to give them the label of “teenager” or not. It’s sometimes hard to remember given their responsibilities, but Team RWBY is still a collection of developing brains challenging thousands of years of experience. Kids never like it, but sometimes adults do know what’s best for them. All of this is complicated by the abuse in their lives—notice that Yang (Raven), Weiss (parents), and Blake (Adam) are far less trusting of Ozpin than Ruby is—but that doesn’t change the fact that a teenager is not equipped to make these world-altering decisions in the same way an adult is. Combine this with the fact that they have implicitly acknowledged Ozpin as their leader and them thinking they can challenge his well thought-out choices in this manner is a big problem.

Ironically, Ozpin and James have a lot more in common than they think they do when it comes to leading: they both understand the importance of compartmentalization, it’s just that James is more obvious about treating subordinates as subordinates. Ozpin cozies up to people and then they’re surprised when they don’t have his ear. As I said before, you can trust your army without giving them every single secret. That’s dangerous, and the girls aren’t entitled to dangerous information just because they want it.

Ozpin says he’s not entirely sure why grimm are attracted to the relic (another lie?) and we learn that he was the one who spun the story of Lionheart’s heroic death. Again, Yang sees things in a very black and white manner—that’s another lie and lies are bad—and Ozpin angrily argues that Lionheart doesn’t deserve to have all the good he did erased by his final mistakes. That's a pretty loaded conundrum and I’m definitely not equipped to untangle it. Rather, I’m more interested in how the girls are completely unable to consider that viewpoint. Because (common theme here) they lack the experience that Ozpin does. To them Lionheart was just a Bad Guy and should be treated accordingly because they’re teenagers who have never faced a betrayal like that. They might have a very different reaction if, years down the road, one of Team RWBY succumbed to Salem and betrayed them in the end. Would Blake want Yang’s name forever tarnished if she gave in and joined Raven? Would Ruby be okay with the whole world thinking nothing but awful things about Weiss if she went dark? No, it’s more complex when you love someone… but they’re too young to understand that yet.

Age matters here. Experience matters.

Just as important, Ozpin is an emotional, flawed human being who is being cut very deeply right now. That is, the girls have 100% condemned Lionheart despite the good he did in the past… and Ozpin has no doubt done things just as bad, if not worse. Though unintentional, their rejection of Lionheart’s worth is a rejection of Ozpin’s as well. If they can’t consider forgiving Lionheart for his mistakes, how could they possibly forgive him? “Does one lapse in judgement truly negate all of his good?” he asks, a question he no doubt poses to himself all the time. As Ozpin defends his friend he’s also trying desperately to defend himself and what he’s hearing from Yang is, “No. You’re irredeemable.”

Whether we consider Ozpin’s past to actually be irredeemable or not, that’s a pretty hard blow. Remember last recap I pointed out how shocked he looked at Ruby’s support? It’s because this is what he’s used to hearing. Everyone (like Qrow) looks to him to be their leader and then reacts with fury when he makes decisions they don’t like; people insist they care for him and then condemn those who have made far fewer mistakes. And he’s been dealing with this for thousands of years. Honestly, I’m surprised the guy can even get out of bed anymore.

“Do you really think Leo was the first?” he growls when Yang insists that he can trust them. Of course Leo wasn’t the first to betray him and, as Ozpin points out, he said those exact same words. You can trust me. Ultimately, why are these kids any different? Because they’re the heroes? No, that’s the perspective of the audience. From behind our fourth wall we know that Team RWBY is trustworthy, but Ozpin has no such reassurances. If a friend he had for years could suddenly betray him like that, what the hell is stopping a bunch of former students who are already frustrated with him?

Also… just pointing out… Yang insists he can trust her and then two seconds later she, along with Blake and Weiss, have their weapons pulled on both Ozpin and Qrow. So he can trust them… but only if he does what they want and tells them what they want to hear. And people question why Ozpin has trust issues.

I do want Ozpin to trust more—both for himself and for others—but my god does he have good reasons for holding back.

Sadly, we don’t get to see Yang try to grapple with the revelation that she’s parroting Lionheart’s words (because, as I’ll discuss a bit below, RWBY ultimately dodges any real sticky moral questions and segues back into simple story logic). Instead the conversation is derailed as Ozpin realizes that the relic is missing.

Ruby has it, but she’s not willing to hand it over. So much for my theory of her sticking by him this Volume. At least right now, she’s acting as much like a kid as any of the others. In what I think is a reckless move, Oscar realizes that Ozpin is hiding something from them and briefly takes control, telling Ruby to say the name Jinn.

She does and all the snow stops.

A sort of genie appears and says that she was created by the God of Light to “aid humanity in its pursuit of knowledge.” Jinn then reveals that Ozpin did lie outright. There are still two questions left.

And with this revelation we come to the crux of the matter. His own very personal history aside, compartmentalization aside, why doesn’t Ozpin just give the gang all the information they want? Why all the lies? Because they’re children and right now they’re acting like it. Yang isn’t interested in making sure everyone gets to a safe place after Qrow mentions that they’re probably attracting grimm, she wants answers right now and she won’t move until she gets them. They’re not considering the hypocrisy of demanding Ozpin’s secrets when they’ve all had (and for some still have) secrets of their own. The girls aren’t responding logically to Qrow’s innocuous “Hey” later—why does he deserve their wrath?—they’re reacting with pure emotion, pulling their weapons on him for daring to just try and voice an opinion. That is an incredibly extreme reaction and in my opinion shows how little they’re thinking through their actions right now. They are, to put it bluntly, acting like a bunch of bratty teenagers. They want something and the adults in charge won’t let them have it, despite having numerous good reasons for withholding it (both practical and personal). So they throw a fit. The only difference is that instead of stomping their feet these girls have crazy powerful weaponry and a relic at their disposal.

All of this culminates in the release of Jinn. Let’s think back to that moment in the house: Ozpin tells them that the relic has a “wonderful and incredibly dangerous ability”—emphasis mine. Do the kids stop to wonder why the ability to answer questions is called incredibly dangerous? No! They’re just fascinated by the shiny new toy. Ren thinks it’s cool, Blake is amazed, Yang notes that picking the right questions would be a big responsibility but doesn’t back down from the challenge, and Nora immediately leads them in a charge to determine what they’re going to ask. Not one of them says, “Hey. What’s the catch here?” They’re all ready to jump into asking three questions without thinking through any of the potential repercussions of messing with an ancient object they know absolutely nothing about.

This no doubt tells Ozpin, as it told me, that they’re still kids and as such are in many ways still thinking like kids too. They don’t have the experience and the maturity yet to consider the consequences of their actions. What? Do we think someone as controlling as Ozpin just let two questions remain without a very good reason? That it’s a coincidence that immediately after he—or someone else—used the first question the relic was sealed away? No, there’s some downside here… but the gang never considered that possibility. So rather than explain all that and risk them insisting that they use the questions anyway—as kids are wont to do—Ozpin says the questions are used up for now. That way there’s no risk to them.

I’m thinking that when Ozpin charges Ruby he’s trying to reach her to protect her somehow. It's not just about him keeping his secrets. Jinn’s smoke is reaching for her too and he’s trying to get there first. He’s flawed, yes, but he’s not going to attack her. When has Ozpin ever been violent towards them? When has Ruby ever hesitated to defend herself? This isn't an experienced Huntsmen going on the offensive, nor a talented Huntress scared for her life---it's a desperate man and a young girl panicking at this mess of a situation. Because let's be real, if Ozpin had wanted to take the relic by force he easily could have. But he wouldn't do that. He’s not the one who drew his weapon here. No, if there’s a catch attached to these questions he wouldn’t want Ruby to pay it. He literally begs her on his knees not to use the relic… and when that fails he gets desperate and uses incredible speed to try and reach her before the magic does.

Remember, he wanted to immediately seal the relic back up in the vault and would have it they’d had access to the Spring Maiden. It might not just be because they’re worried about the relic falling into Salem’s hands. It sounds like there’s danger attached to using it too…. and people would absolutely be tempted to use it.

As we see here.

Ruby says, “What is Ozpin hiding from us?” WHICH IS ABOUT THE WORST QUESTION YOU COULD POSSIBLY ASK.

That’s not a targeted question to help you understand what Oscar was hinting at before. That’s an entirely open ended question that, depending on how Jinn works, will show you every secret Ozpin has ever had. What kind of fucked up invasion of privacy? Granted, we don’t have time in RWBY for something like that to actually happen—looks like Jinn is going to show us Ozpin’s greatest mistake/regret, something he thinks they’ll abandon him because of—but that doesn’t change how horrible that question was. I don’t care if the girls are right that Ozpin needs to work on trusting people more. You know how you don’t help people do that? By forcibly pulling all their secrets out into the open without their consent. Ruby’s question wasn’t just horribly invasive, it wasn’t thought out at all because no matter how frustrated she might be I don’t think she’d ever want to do that to a person. She, like the rest of her team, isn't thinking clearly.

Finally, you know what the real kicker is? All of this—everything I’ve mentioned throughout this scene—is done in front of Maria. What’s the latest definition of oblivious immaturity? Demanding that your leader reveal his secrets in front of a complete stranger.

Honestly I wanted to rip out my hair through this whole part of the episode. It’s easy to identify with Ruby and the gang because they’re our protagonists. The show wants us to empathize with them, but in this case it doesn’t change the fact that they’re acting their age and making really uninformed decisions. Despite the huge range of ages in this fandom, sometimes I feel like I’m watching RWBY very firmly from an adult’s perspective while the vast majority of the fandom is watching from the perspective of our heroes. They see the mean adult keeping secrets—and in a black and white universe secrets are bad!—while I’m seated firmly in Camp Context. It’s like that post about watching The Little Mermaid at different stages of your life:

As a child: She loves him! How romantic…

As an adult: You love him? You’re sixteen and you met him yesterday!

The thing is, I know RWBY isn’t going to take that adult perspective. That’s not how most stories go. Ozpin’s secrets will be revealed, he’ll probably be forgiven, and he’ll learn the lesson that it’s Bad to keep things from your friends. The intricacies of the situation and his very justifiable reasons will be brushed aside because he’s not our primary hero. Ruby is and her view of the world is that nearly blind faith in humanity. She doesn’t understand that after thousands of years Ozpin’s fractured faith doesn’t mean he can’t encourage others to be better than he is, she just pouts and says he should trust them specifically because he preaches trust as a general principal. At its core RWBY follows the simplistically moral logic of a fairy tale and though that’s great in many ways, I’m still at times frustrated by how the show introduces adult viewpoints without ever having the narrative justify them. Ozpin tells the group that he has more experience than them and has carefully considered his choices, but we’re encouraged to frown at him like the rest of the cast. Except Ozpin is right! He’s right!! He’s right and he should say it!

But most people don’t seem to agree with me. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We end the episode with Jinn’s magic reaching the group before Ozpin can reach Ruby. They’re all seeing the same vision of a castle and a beautiful woman, Jinn’s voice telling them a fairy tale:

“Once upon a time there stood a lonely tower that sheltered a lonely girl named Salem…”

So Salem’s backstory coincides with whatever Ozpin is so terrified of them figuring out about him. Full disclosure: if he starts crying next episode I will also be an emotional wreck. Here’s hoping that whatever the girls see, they’ll start mending their trust in one another once it’s over. I’m not sure I can take a whole Volume of everyone eviscerating Ozpin for trying to protect them, himself, and the rest of Remnant.

What’s he doing? His best. It’s far from perfect, but give the poor immortal a break.

Here’s hoping for one in episode three!

Other Details of Note

Of course it’s raining when Cinder leaves the vault. We need appropriate atmosphere for her dramatic collapse and rejuvenating murder lol

Except can we please have women remove their heels when everything goes sideways? I’m sorry, but if I were that exhausted and injured getting the spikes off my feet would be the very first thing I did.

Love that they essentially gave Maria’s glasses eyelids. Makes it very easy for her to express herself.

Okay so we pretty much know for a fact now that Ozpin and Oscar are starting to share thoughts both ways. I can’t imagine that Ozpin went, “Yeah so I’m still hiding something and you can figure it out by saying ‘Jinn’ to the shiny relic over there, but don't tell anyone else, okay?” Oscar is starting pick up on things as they (presumably) merge.

The relics are entities! And now we know why the the statue in Haven was of a woman bound in chains—she’s Jinn. Look at Ozpin’s dramatic ass designing lairs that reveal secrets no one realizes are there.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, old man”—evidence that Ozpin either used that first question himself, was there when it was used, or has used the relic at another time in the past.

[alabastertouch]

It’s Not Me | II

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Characters: Composer!Park Chanyeol x brokenhearted!reader; appearances by other idols

Genre: Flangst (lol) (srsly)

Warning/s: Mentions of a toxic relationship, strong language

Summary: After a songwriter broke your heart, you swore you would never do anything that involves music. But when a desperate composer asks for your kind help, will you change your mind?

A/N: I honestly didn’t expect the story to receive so much attention??? Thank you so much to everyone supporting my little scenario thingy going on here! This is also quite unedited so.... HAHAHA anyway have a read!!!

story masterlist

When Seulgi comes home that night, she immediately tackles you in a hug and almost topples you off the couch.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She repeatedly chants, sniffling even, as she embraces you tightly.

“What’s going on, Seul?” You question her, confused by her sudden show of affection.

“Because of you, we reached our sales quota!” She announces, suddenly jostling herself to hang on you. “People loved Smart Norae, and they told me it was because they heard you singing!”

You didn’t quite expect a response like that. You’d expect them to buy it because of its good surround system and the efficiency of picking songs, not because they watched a pathetic girl destress through the newest karaoke technology.

“Glad I could be of help, Seul,” you pat her shoulder. “But I can’t believe you made me sing!”

She sheepishly lets you go, taking a paper-wrapped object from her shoulder bag and hands it over to you. “Just a little something as a token of appreciation.”

You rip the paper off, revealing a brown leather notebook with your name imprinted in calligraphy on its front and an animated drawing of your face.

“A friend of mine started doing some stationery business, so I requested if she can make me a journal for you. I designed it myself, see?” She proudly points at the intricate details of it. “It’s not much, but I know how much you love writing randomly. Use it to write whatever you come up with so you can look at it whenever you feel like it.”

You caress the smooth sheets of paper inside, admiring the way it feels underneath your fingertips. Seulgi always had the eye for the perfect materials, being a triple threat in singing, dancing, and art.

“This is amazing, Seulgi,” you give her a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you so much.”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” she waves you off. “You deserve this, hun. Now, you can write revenge songs about Jihoon and all he had done to you.” A look of anger fills Seulgi’s caramel irises, but you stop her before she can say more.

“We’re not going to go lower than Jihoon, Seul,” you dismiss the idea. “We’re going to be strong women, because that’s what we are, right? Revenge is petty.” Seulgi finds herself agreeing with your words.

You fall into comfortable silence later on, with Seulgi strumming along with her guitar. She is trying to hum some tunes, trying to blend it together with the instrument. But so far, her experimentation is a useless attempt to create her song.

You only use her sweet voice and music to focus on your own work to do… coming up with ways on how to shut the children up without asking Mijoo once again to clean up after you.

“Aha!” She exclaims, as if the best idea had just dawn to her. You let her do her thing, and she writes something down on her paper.

“Finally got a hang of it?” You question, although the answer appears pretty obvious.

“That I do,” Seulgi claps in delight. “This is going to be an amazing one!”

You sure hope it does, so your best friend can stop searching because she doesn’t have to… she deserves the recognition for her talent and expertise.

Soon, you exhale. We’ll get to it soon.

“Look, Chanyeol, this is hopeless!” Junmyeon whines as he fails searching for the girl in the video once again.

“Let’s ask the police, then?” Chanyeol suggests, like asking the authorities for a person’s identity is such a normal thing to do.

“And what, tell them that we’re looking for her because of our singing woes?” Junmyeon deadpans. “No thanks.”

“How about we go to that mall?” Kyungsoo suggests. After being updated by what Chanyeol and Junmyeon have watched and hearing the girl sing, he thinks as well that the girl has an amazing voice that can mix well with his. “Maybe some people there know who she is.”

“Kyungsoo, a mall is a public place. She may not go back there.” Junmyeon rationalizes.

“Or she might,” Kyungsoo optimistically counters. “Look, stop being so darn negative. You’ll never know what could be if you try, right?”

Chanyeol cannot believe how chill Kyungsoo is, even if it is his own comeback at stake. Although he’s usually quiet and peaceful and quite the opposite of Chanyeol, he completes their partnership by being the mediator when Chanyeol gets too much of anything.

“We’ll go,” Chanyeol announces, not giving Junmyeon any room to complain anymore.

“Have you lost your mind?!” The manager lets his wits slip anyway. “What if someone recognizes you there?!”

“I’m not the singer here, hyung. If she’s our last chance to save all of our jobs, then we’ll take what we can get!” Chanyeol ends any future altercations and leaves Junmyeon bitterly swallowing.

Junmyeon’s trials to stop Chanyeol is to no avail, and he finds himself back to the same familiar section of the mall the same afternoon. He just leads Chanyeol to where the shop is, and he finds the Smart Norae machine displayed for everyone to see and try. Instead of the striking orange-haired saleslady, a short male with a roseate mullet (Chanyeol is reminded of John Travolta as Danny Zuko from Grease) is singing through the microphone with his own rendition of I Miss You by Kim Bum Soo.

“Excuse me,” Chanyeol hollers once his little performance is over. “Are you the salesman here?”

“You bet I am!” The guy confirms with a puppy-like small. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah, well, there is something I’m curious about,” Chanyeol does not know where else to start and decides to beat to the point. “Do you happen to know a girl who’s singing here?”

“Sorry?” The salesman steps closer. “Sir, many people try the demo machine here. I don’t think I can help you with that.”

“Wait,” Chanyeol rethinks about it and remembers the clip in Junmyeon’s phone. “Hyung, the video!”

“I’m not helping you out,” Junmyeon scoffs. “This is ridiculous, Chanyeol!”

“If you don’t give it to me within five seconds, you’re fired,” Chanyeol pans, arms cross and voice already monotonous.

“You can’t fire me, Chanyeol. Only the company has the power to do that.” Junmyeon rebuts.

“Look, I don’t have much time for this. My break will be in a few minutes, but you can try and ask my co-worker instead?” The male sheepishly suggests.

“Wait, uh…” Chanyeol asks for his name.

“Baekhyun,” the salesman answers.

“Yes, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol speaks. “There was this girl who sang a song by Taeyeon here, and there was also an orange-headed girl here at that time. Do you think she knows who that girl is?”

“Hmm,” Baekhyun considers what he knows. “If you buy one of these, I can tell you what I know.”

“What?!” Junmyeon is now the one to intervene. “No! You just said you didn’t know! We’re not buying—”

“I’ll take one,” Chanyeol brings his wallet out. “Just test it out and then pack it well.”

“Of course, sir!” Baekhyun throwing a smirk at Junmyeon before heading to the stock room.

“Chanyeol, stop this, okay? We can ask JYP if Suzy can sing with Kyungsoo or anyone else, for that matter. We’ll negotiate, but just stop this!” Junmyeon nags, trying to reason out to Chanyeol whose mind seemed to have synced out.

“Look, hyung, let me ask you a question,” Chanyeol sighs. “Why did you take a video of her in the first place?”

“Because I thought she was good?” Junmyeon responds, quite confused.

“Then why did you show it to me?”

“Again, because she’s so good, I felt like it would be a waste to not tell anyone. I don’t have a lot of musical knowledge, but it doesn’t take one who has a lot to know how emotional she is. She has a lot of pent up emotions she had to let out.”

“And you know how important that is in music,” Chanyeol counters. “This girl sings great, but she does amazing because she feels through the song, and in this industry full of singers who do their jobs solely for profit, we need one who has a voice that wants to be heard.”

Junmyeon pauses, debating whether to let Chanyeol go on with his delusions of finding this girl sometime today or just stop whatever it is.

“Fine,” Junmyeon finally accepts the inevitable. “But if within three days we don’t find her, well stop this.”

“I promise,” Chanyeol nods gratefully. “Thank you, hyung.”

After his purchase, Chanyeol begins to interrogate Baekhyun.

“Now it will help if you show me the actual video,” Baekhyun asks for it, and although he’s reluctant, Junmyeon scrolls through his phone for the clip before handing it to Baekhyun.

“Oh, wait, I knew you were talking about Seulgi,” Baekhyun then points out to the saleslady with the orange hairdo. “She’s the one interviewing the girl.”

“Do you think this Seulgi knows her?” Chanyeol looks hopeful.

“I’m not sure, but let me call a friend who knows Seulgi well,” Baekhyun steps outside the shop for a while and drags in a man wearing a chicken nugget suit.

“Hyung, my manager will kill me if he founds out I’m not there!” Chicken Nugget complains.

“Jongin, this won’t take long,” Baekhyun rewinds the video and lets Jongin see. “Do you know this girl singing? Does Seulgi know her?”

“You mean Y/N?” Jongin squints to check if he’s seeing correctly. “Yeah, that’s Y/N.”

“You know her?!” Chanyeol almost shakes Jongin, feeling the excitement of knowing the girl.

“Yeah, she’s Seulgi’s best friend,” Jongin explains. “But who are you? Why are you looking for her?”

“Seulgi pretended not to know her best friend?” Baekhyun suddenly barges into the conversation.

“Yeah, they do it all the time,” Jongin shrugs. “Business is business, hyung.”

“Anyway,” Chanyeol clears his throat, hoping for an answer. “Do you know Do Kyungsoo?”

“The singer?” Jongin tilts his head. “Who doesn’t?”

“Well, her voice matches Kyungsoo’s a lot,” Chanyeol elucidates. “And if she’d let us, we’d like to have her try to sing.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jongin scratches his head. “But there’s Seulgi. You can go ask her how you can contact Y/N.” And they all turn around to see the same girl on the video walking to the store in her work outfit.

“I’m not late, right?” She heaves before heading to the back of the store. She returns, appropriate enough to work already. “Welcome!”

“Seulgi, they’re asking about Y/N,” Jongin proclaims, wondering how this guy can be so blunt about such a request.

“Y/N? What about her?” Seulgi questions.

“Well, we kind of have a problem she can possibly help with,” Junmyeon rewords whatever had been said before about this deal with the girl.

“I can’t speak for her, so I think you might have to talk to her in person,” Seulgi hesitantly mumbles. “What is this request all about, anyway?”

“Do Kyungsoo’s album,” Chanyeol claims. “We heard her singing, and we think she’s the missing puzzle piece.”

“Oh shit,” Seulgi exclaims and covers her mouth in utter shock, knowing how big of a deal this is. “This is huge!”

“It is,” Chanyeol agrees.

“But…” Seulgi takes a deep breath, not sure if she should be saying anything at all.

“What is it?” Chanyeol encourages her to say something.

“She told me she didn’t want anything to do with music, and helping me out with a song number was kind of pushing it. I’m not sure if she’ll approve at all.” Seulgi regrets being the bearer of such news, especially because the guy looks so optimistic, too.

“Does she have any background with singing?” Chanyeol questions.

“She was in a church choir in high school and minored in music during college. Our professor wondered why she wasn’t majoring in music instead because she’s actually an amazing singer.” Seulgi rambles on about her best friend and her life choices that although she doesn’t quite understand, still supports fully.

“Anyway, if you want to meet Y/N, I asked her to come over later after her shift ends. You might have to wait a few…” Seulgi checks her wristwatch. “Hours. It’s only 2 and she gets off at 4.”

Chanyeol knows that he is already pushing Junmyeon’s patience far off, but he needs to know that he at least tried his best in pleading the girl to cooperate with his plan of salvaging everyone’s careers.

“You can go first, hyung,” Chanyeol tells his manager, who looks exasperated now more than ever. “I’ll wait for her.”

“Chanyeol,” Junmyeon hisses, hoping that even if he had given his approval, Chanyeol would at least consider stopping this.

“No, hyung,” Chanyeol gently responds. “This isn’t just for Kyungsoo, but also for myself. Let me do this.”

And Junmyeon’s face softens, seemingly at lost with everything else by now. What Chanyeol wants, Chanyeol gets.

“Just be careful, alright?” Junmyeon reminds in defeat. “Text me when you’re on your way back. I’ll tell the president you’re busy if he goes looking for you.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Chanyeol pats Junmyeon’s back, expressing his appreciation to his ever-patient manager.

Chanyeol waits on a coffee shop across, which has the perfect view of the people coming over the halls where the gadget shop is situated. He had since taken his notebook out, trying to come up with a poem he can later consider lyrics in the song.

Two hours, and he is already getting irritated with some people disrupting the ambiance of the coffee shop.

He had drunken two Americanos in the first hour, but after shivering because of it, he settled on some fruit juice. Last minute, he decides to buy some for the girl… a little gesture he hopes would give her a boost to agree.

“When will she arrive?” Chanyeol asks himself before gathering his stuff and heading back to the shop, with the mango juice in his hand and his work papers on the other.

He walks towards the entrance… well, right until he saw the female from the video personified and looking all beautiful despite the bags underneath her eyes.

“Seulgi, I’m sorry I’m late! The kids didn’t want to let me go!” Chanyeol feels his alarm go off at the mention of kids, wondering if she were talking about her own children.

“You should really find a job which has to do with your actual expertise, Y/N,” and now, Chanyeol is sure that this is the girl.

Of my dreams.

Shut up, Park Chanyeol.

“Anyway, Y/N, there was someone looking for—oh, there he is. Sir!” Seulgi calls for Chanyeol, and the tall guy shudders at the thought of being embarrassed in front of the girl he had wanted to see ever since he had found out about her.

“Looking for me?” She questions, puzzled. “Hello, sir. What can I help you with?”

“Miss Y/N, I am Park Chanyeol,” You nod, acknowledging his introduction. Chanyeol takes a deep breath, preparing for a surprised response coming from you.

“I want you to sing for us.”

[xbarrjallenx]

Busted

Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request: “OMG of I only could say how much I love your Jeff imagine, but I can’t find the right words. Saying that it is perfect isn’t enough. But I want you to know that I really love this one and, I have to ask, is to soon for asking for a part 2? About the morning after, maybe Clay finding they two lol Thank you for writing my request <3″

“hi, i loved ‘Sharing is Caring’ and i wondered if you could maybe do a part 2? maaaybe where they wake up and they’re cuddled up and when clay comes into the room to wake jeff he smiles and quietly calls his parents (he secretly shipped them because jeff never shuts up about her and he wants someone good for his sister). so when jeff and the reader wake up her whole family stands there and it gets a little awkward but it’s still cute? 😂”

“OMG please do a part 2“

Word Count: 2.063

Posted: 08th of May 2017

A/N: Here’s “Sharing Is Caring”’s second part, link is down below if you haven’t read it yet. I am sorry if I took so long to write this. I hope you like it, although it didn’t convince me so much. I think it has a lot of flaws. I really don’t know. It would be great if you send some feedbacks. Thank you so much! Enjoy.

- G. x

Link: Part 1

Warning: Light swearing

“Hmm…” You stretched your bones with your eyes closed as you felt fully rested, waking your still-sleeping soul slowly. Although you still had your eyes closed, the sunlight that penetrated your window pane blinded you.

You were so calm and thoughtless as you felt a strong arm around your waist and you quickly opened your eyes, rubbing them carefully to focalize your vision. You were facing your wall full of posters and Jeff was hugging you from behind, you were being the little spoon of your innocent cuddling session.

You were shocked and shy, of course, but it felt so nice to be cuddled up with your ultimate crush. You wanted to wake him up, but also to stay in that position at the same time. Because who wouldn’t love to cuddle with Jeff Atkins? We all know right.

His touch made you feel warm and relaxed, although you felt uncomfortable for his morning erection. Yes, the thought of his boner made you feel the heat in your cheeks and you knew how red you became at the same time.

“Jeff!” You murmured as you nudged him carefully, trying to wake him up. “Atkins.”

“Hmm?” He mumbled, you hinted that he was still sleeping and still had his eyes closed because of his response.

“Wake up, sleepy head.” You softly giggled as you drew small circles on his arm. You didn’t want for this moment to end, but you knew that your family would freak out if they ever saw you in that position with Jeff. “Hey, Atkins.”

You heard him yawning softly as he tightened his grip and your bodies touched even more. You felt his hot breath on your skin and it made you shiver.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” He whispered and his morning hoarse voice made you smile. You found it sexy and you surely wanted to sleep with him one more time.

“Did you sleep well?” You asked as you lingered the warmth of his body and the blankets. You loved cuddling and it was really a moment that you would always do with Jeff.

“I did.” He giggled softly, surely pointing out your position at that exact moment. “Did you?”

“I honestly did.” You smiled and there was a little bit of silence between the two of you. You were astonished, because it wasn’t one of those awkward silences. In the contrary! It was honestly comfortable and sweet.

You both continued cuddling and thinking of how amazing it was to sleep with each other. There was a dead silence in the room, but you didn’t mind it for the thoughts that kept running through your mind.

Yup, there was a dead silence in the room until you heard your brother Clay coughing like there was no tomorrow. He almost spat his lungs out, but you knew that he was doing it to have your attention.

“Good morning, cuddle buddies.” Clay happily exclaimed and, in a fast-swift movement, you and Jeff broke the hug and faced the door, revealing a Clay with a smirk on his face and your parents, Lainie and Matt, behind him. You sat on the other part of the bed to set some space between you and Jeff.

“What the fuck?” Your eyes were widely opened and you knew that you had a crimson red coloured face for the embarrassing moment.

“Words, (Y/N)!” Your mother pointed out and you rolled your eyes. It vexed you how those people stood there with a smirk on their faces, obviously teasing you.

“Did you sleep well?” Clay teased as he laughed hard, together with Matt. You despised your brother for telling your parents that you had a crush on Jeff.

“I personally did.” Jeff answered and you nodded in response. It was awkward to be busted by your parents in that way. C’mon!

“It seems like you don’t need my help anymore, Jeff!” Clay winked at his friend and you shot a glance to Jeff. He was blushing and shocked too. “You already confessed your feelings to your crush.”

“What!?” Your eyes grew wide for what your brother has told you. You saw Jeff face palming himself as your talkative brother revealed his secret. Your heart beat faster and you felt uncomfortable for that. You looked at your family and then at Jeff once again. You wanted to burry yourself alive for the embarrassment.

“Alright, breakfast downstairs.” Your father shouted as he killed the awkward silence in the room. “This is a little bit awkward.”

Clay flashed an apologetic smile to Jeff and they started to go downstairs. You looked at Jeff and he flashed you a shy smile, to which you smiled back.

“You can use the bathroom in Clay’s room.” Your words weren’t too understandable because you talked quickly, trying to avoid his presence now.

You ran through the bathroom and you did your daily morning routines. You took more than the usual time, since you wanted some time to think about the things. How did they even happen that fast?

You liked Jeff too, but it was awkward. Jeff was your brother’s best friend and you’ve never thought that he would like someone like you. You thought that he was more into cheerleaders, the popular girls.

“Clay!” You groaned as you combed your hair in front of the mirror. You bit your lip as your cuddling session came into your mind and you suddenly found yourself smiling widely.

You then changed your clothes and you quickly went out of the bathroom. The bed was already fixed and Jeff was nowhere to be seen.

You went downstairs and you noticed that the awkward silence before has already packed its baggage and left. Your family and Jeff was talking some stuffs about school and they were even laughing. What the hell happened?

“(Y/N), sit down here and have some breakfast.” Lainie called you as she patted your usual chair. You nodded silently as you took your place and got some food to eat.

“How did it go with Hannah?” Clay curiously asked. You rolled your eyes as he was trying to fix the things between you. You loved your brother, nevertheless he has always teased you. He was your best friend and he was your Superman, because he would always be there for you. He knew how to save the day and you loved him for that.

“We had to cancel the sleepover, because her parents fought.” You answered as you chewed your food quietly. “She felt uncomfortable.”

“Ow.” Jeff and Clay reacted and you nodded sadly. You felt sad for Hannah, because she was already going through something at home and those assholes at school kept on bullying her. Luckily, you always had the guts to stand up for her.

“Oh,” Your eyes widen as you remembered something. “why don’t you ask Hannah out?” You asked with a smirk on your face.

“I am asking him the same thing, believe it or not.” Jeff answered and you smiled at him. Clay got the looks from your parents and he became red, obviously embarrassed and shy.

“Mind your own love life, instead of minding mine.” You teased him and you laughed, together with Matt and Jeff. Lainie was so happy because you were close with your brother and you knew each other’s secrets. She really taught you well when you were both young.

“Shut up!” Clay rolled his eyes and you started to feel comfortable around Jeff. Your father teased Clay and your mother just laughed.

“Should I train you how to ask a girl out?” Your dad teased and you all laughed. Clay was hating you, but you got your revenge and you felt a little better.

“You maybe should, dad!” You giggled and winked at Clay. “Hannah’s a great girl, she's beautiful and she deserves happiness.”

“I second this.” Jeff agreed and your dad kept on teasing Clay.

You spent the rest of your breakfast teasing your beloved brother. You and Jeff are always having the point and you loved the complicity that you had.

“Wait for me upstairs, I’m helping this freak to clean this mess.” Clay said to Jeff whilst looking at him. Your parents went to work as they were already running late.

“Hmm…” Jeff mumbled as if he was thinking. You started to clean the table as you pretended that you weren’t listening to them. “Let me do that, go upstairs.”

“Oh, alright.” Clay replied and you heard his footsteps vanishing. You then felt Jeff’s presence as you started to wash the dishes.

“Hey.” Jeff shyly greeted you as he helped you with the dishes. You looked at him and you noticed the nervousness in his eyes.

“Hey.” You smiled at him and stopped what you were doing, turning the faucet off. “I can do this alone, go to Clay.”

“Uhm,” He looked at you and grabbed your hands to stop you from what you were doing. “don’t you think we should talk about it?”

“About what?” You played fool and he just smiled at you. You aren’t feeling awkward around him anymore, luckily.

“Oh, shut up!” He laughed and you faced him as you decided to talk about everything. You couldn’t pretend that nothing has happened, mostly when you like him too.

You leant on the kitchen counter and you waited for him to start his explanations. You took the moment to admire Jeff’s flawless face and body. You admired his soft brown quiff and his blue mesmerizing eyes. His pierced ears made him look sexier and you wondered how toned his body was.

“Hmm…” He started as he fiddled with his hands, waking you up from your deep thoughts. “I know that it was a shame that you discovered my feelings for you because of your brother, but I want to tell you that I really really really like you.”

You felt the heat of your cheeks and you blushed, although you already knew it. It was surely different to hear it from him and you felt so satisfied and reassured.

“That’s plagiarism for Carly Rae Jepsen’s song.” You winked at him and he just laughed at you. “But I really really really like you too.” You confessed, taking the courage out and covering it with by singing the song. His gaze lightened and he let a alleviated laugh out.

“Really?” He asked because he wanted to be sure of what you were really feeling.

“What? Is it strange that someone liked Jeff Atkins?” You playfully asked him and he rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you one of the campus’ crushes?”

“Well, (Y/N) Jensen likes me. That’s an honour.” He winked at you and you punched his arm playfully.

“Flatterer!” You exclaimed as you shook your head. You couldn’t believe him that he was praising you. Well, he was Jeff Atkins.

“I was just telling the truth.” He smiled at you and you giggled softly. “Can I hug you?” He asked and you found him cute with that.

“You already hugged me the whole night, why do you have to ask?” You winked at him and his face became bright red. You threw your arms wide open and he ran to you to hug you tightly.

You relaxed as you felt his arms around you again. Even though you slept hugging each other, you still longed for his hugs. You felt safe and warm once again.

“Are we having a sleepover again?” He flirtatiously asked and you slapped his toned chest. “Hey, didn’t you say that sharing is caring?”

“Dork!” You shook your head as you smiled widely. You saw Clay smirking as he was standing behind the kitchen’s doorway. You rolled your eyes as he took some pictures of his favourite ship. Of course, he has always shipped you with Jeff, because he already knew everything since the very start. Was he or wasn’t he the most supportive brother ever?

You knew that it was a start of something new for you. It was one of your desires to have him by your side and you would treasure this moment forever. You would keep on longing for him, for his hugs, for the warmth of his body and he would always take care of you, no matter what.

He would do everything to let you feel that you were the most important girl in his life, nevertheless his uncountable admirers.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Poor Pablo

Jimmy: You here? Janis: standing to attention, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Can I stay at yours tonight like? Janis: 'Course, my Dad already extended the offer when he was trying to parent me lol Janis: Yours doing your head in? Jimmy: Seriously though? I'll sleep in the bath and try not to have Skerries flashbacks. Give a shit Jimmy: Yeah Janis: You don't have to Janis: though I've been told its comfier than you'd imagine if you're feeling it Janis: What's his damage...not ideal they had to call the parentals in but it is just detention, not a court date, y'know? Janis: I'd have figured out a way to take all the blame if I knew he'd go off Janis: Wank bank fantasy getting outta hand in the stalls? 🤔😉 Jimmy: It's an excuse for him to get at me, that's it Jimmy: Doesn't really matter what the drama is Jimmy: 😍 Proper romantic you 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: Suppose it'd make a nice change to have you as the bad guy for once, eh? Janis: fuck that though Janis: Who me? Janis: never Jimmy: What d'you mean 😎👎💔 Jimmy: I'm so bad Janis: Very bad boy, NOT bad guy, waaaaaay different vibe Janis: Silly Jimmy: Good save Janis: Not a goalie or a superhero Janis: but Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: What time can I come over? Freezing here casually Janis: Come over now idiot Janis: Be doing me a favour anyway, be your charming self so I can escape the fam Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Want me to bring you anything? I'm thinking chips but no pressure Janis: Quite the offer Janis: but no need Janis: there's always so much food going in this gaff Janis: may as well help yourself Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm just gonna get Cass to bring me some stuff out #doorstepdrama Jimmy: Like fuck am I gonna come back here any earlier than needs Janis: That's fun 😒 free entertainment for the neighbours, nice one 👍 Janis: at least Cass'll get a kick out of helping the outcast hero Janis: Best to let him have his paddy, yeah, he'll be begging you back when he can't figure out where the kid's school shoes are Jimmy: I wouldn't bother but I need my charger in case Bobby can't sleep. Cass shouldn't have to handle that on her own Jimmy: She's be the definition of #buzzing for this part at least Jimmy: Maybe Twix'll shit in his shoes this time, 'cause bitch be loyal Janis: Shame you can't bring them both but kidnap would technically be something to shout about Janis: They'll be alright though, she's a tough cookie and a smart kid Janis: Get Grace to facetime him a bedtime story, he'd love that and she'd feel like she's doing jackanory, like Janis: We can only hope girl comes thru Jimmy: He'll take her up on that if I don't. Boy is 💕 for Gracie Jimmy: You're not about to get off light though, Cass wants to hear from you that I'm alright Jimmy: My word isn't worth a damn apparently Janis: She ain't offering for you! Even if you're currently in her good books for taking a 🔥 photo, like Janis: Still not good enough to be her fave 🤷 Janis: Tough ground Janis: Well, she's got you there, you're not the best at using 'em 😏 100% taking the fact I'm being considered the reliable one for once Jimmy: You win this round Jimmy: Don't get too comfy with it though Jimmy: I am on my way Janis: S'lonely at the top Janis: Get on my level, boy 🥇 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: rude Janis: biting the hand that feeds Jimmy: Learning from your true love like Janis: I won't stand such slander on her good name Janis: she's a revenge shitter only not a biter 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'm having a smoke, you joining me or am I coming knocking? Janis: Lungs won't thank me but Pablo would if he knew how close he was to getting a smackdown Janis: Save me some I'm running Jimmy: *He took it easy on this one (not for her sake, you snooze you lose, mate) having been puffing away consistently since he slammed the door on his dad's ranting 'cause he'd needed to calm down. Or shut down. Naturally, it crept up on him, as persistent, which is why he's here, huddled in another cold doorway, waiting for a distraction that'll have him forgetting the barney his dad started days before and wasn't done with yet. Argumentative prick. Jimmy was happy to let Janis have that win, the only where he wouldn't (and couldn't) compete being in this, in drowning out the shit with something that isn't. There's no hiding the smile when he sees her, if the shadows do let him get away with it, they won't for long 'cause he's closing the gap between them instantly, refusing as much of the space as he can without giving himself away for doing it as he passes the cigarette over.* Janis: *She takes the cigarette like its second-nature, kiss on his cheek, feeling the familiar dimple of his smile, like they are too. Far from it on both counts. She's not a smoker, she needs her lungs clear and strong. And she's not in love, same reasons for her heart. Simple as. Still, she could enjoy the benefits of both without committing, couldn't she? Why not. It's not like she's faking either, just...dipping her toes. Only likely to incur minor damage, she reckoned she could take that and still get away laughing. Sure. Long drag before passing it back because without needing to even look his way, (though she did regardless, studious expression taking in his tight, stressed as shit, posture right now), she knew he needed it more. Janis jogs her legs up and down, 'brring' in the cold Winter night air.* You alright then? *She adds, as if they're just meeting on her doorstep by chance, not for reason. She smirks, shaking her head at herself, nudging his side.* Jimmy: *With the cigarette back between his fingers and the girl by his side he gets what he needs, the familiarity a reminder that this is his normal, not what he rushed to leave behind. To pick up his girlfriend for dinner his dad will have to drop this, rely on moody silence to show how he really feels and his own fakery, in this woman's company, for what he thinks he should. They all know how to handle the first, years under their belts, and the second idea's even more temporary. Fuck it. Jimmy could make a single cigarette last longer than his dad's current relationships, and had done, sometimes. Not this one though. Nah. He wasn't the dickhead to keep his girlfriend shivering while he pissed about blowing smoke in the dark. He took a final drag before flicking it away to meet Janis's contact with his own, using his now free hand to gently brush a loose curl from her cheek.* Yeah, mate, you? Janis: *Janis scrunches her nose up, batting his hand away, mix of bashfulness and banter, blown with a raspberry. Turns out, sex is alright, stunning review there, indescribably better than alright obviously but- its the smaller, everyday moments of intimacy, that had flown under her radar when she wasn't receiving them, that she still finds herself flinching from, or covering up said flinch with some kind of bullshit she finds it easier to wear, to shoulder.* Fine. *She blurts out, flustered and being a little sharp with it. Get it together. More jokes, forever skirting around serious, not getting too real or too deep 'cos they both know there's no coming back and why ruin it and- She peers at him, like he's a dog in Crufts, pretending to shine a torn in his eyes, checking his teeth, that kinda shit.* Hmm, healthy enough specimen. Gonna give me anything else to give to your Sister though, like? Dunna if 'yeah' is gonna get her off the phone in a hurry, to be honest. Not that I give a shit, or nothin', don't get it twisted. *She grins, turning to the door and then back again, lingering, reluctant to open the door yet, knowing they'd get descended upon by someone almost immediately. All fun and games. Still, there wasn't a world in which she was gonna turn him down and have him out on the street, like. No way.* Jimmy: *He plays along as though it's still a game and why not? He's just admitted to himself how used to fakery he is, being a family trait like, with both of them for him to thank. Not that he's sparing a thought for his mum, first or second. Not now. He told himself no more slips with the girl beside him and meant that just as much. More. It's easier to stick to on every level, and he does, ruffling her hair fully when he gets the chance. Eyebrows raised and an expression of his own ready to wear. This, he can keep up all night, same as the exaggerated huff that he let's escape, like a Twix snore, into the night along with the shrug that follows.* Use your skills, throw in as many hashtags as it takes to put her at ease. Throw in a selfie if she still isn't convinced. Me sleeping sound should do it. * He's joking but not wrong for it, not able to remember a time when he fell asleep before the other two. Cass'd be beyond 'shook' to even see a fake out of him getting a good forty winks. Jimmy smirks through the thought, forcing it to pass.* You got this, girl* He retorts it in the best mimicry of how Mia and that crowd speaks that his accent can do, wincing slightly both at the impression and idea of them being around. Still, he claws some of his 'clout' back with a challenging look that adds 'What else have you got.' 'cause who are they if there's not a challenge ongoing. As if to emphasis this, he goes towards the door himself, pushing it open with more daring than he actually feels. * Gonna invite me in then, or what? Janis: *She kisses her teeth angrily, full on 'boy, if you don't stop-' vibes, planting a balled fist in his stomach, gentle warning like, no need to assault him before the family saw to it with their over-the-top nature and curiosity. She knew it would but it was getting to her more than she imagined even. The cooing and awwing or the piss-taking and wink-wink nudge-nude of it all, whatever approach they took, why did they have to? What business was it of theirs? Of anyones? Why did there always have to be a song and dance about everything? The hot takes she'd never ask for. Ruined everything. Why did they care? About this? About her? Just fuck right off. Messy. Too messy. Family, feelings- fuck it all. She used to kid herself, couple of years ago, when it happened, that she'd move out as soon as she could and that'd be it. They'd leave her alone. And she could just exist. Run, sleep and repeat. And that is all she'd have to do. No thinking or feeling ever. But she knew better now. They weren't just going to disappear, even if she changed postcodes. Even Edie couldn't manage that. And she had really tried. The others didn't want to. So she was stuck. Here in the land of the living. Forced to participate, like it or not. Then Jim had come along. Made her like it, a little bit, like. And he'd made her think maybe she could add to her shortlist of approved activities. But let her think about that for too long and she always came to the same conclusion; that she was a fucking idiot and it'd all end in tears. She sighed, overexaggerating it last minute to pretend it was in reply to his showy huffing and puffing.* Not my skill-set, kid. You were always better at it than me. Not just the snappin', like. Right up until you jumped ship for a pretty face, #commitment. *She laughs.* But for Cass, I'll see what I can do. *Cringing at the accent-attempt and gasping in mock-horror at the invocation of Mia and co. (as if say their names three times and they'll appear to tell you your outfit is ugly) she puts a finger to his lips, pushing him behind her at the same time so she can lead the way in too.* Ta-dah! *She flourishes, with a shrug to say 'you asked for this' 'cos there was no hiding now. The downstairs open-plan, parentals unconvincingly 'busying' themselves in the kitchen. Iggy, Diego, Gus and (thank fuck, 'cos we know who's the likeliest to be a prick here) Pablo so far unaccounted for, Grace watching telly, curled up with her phone as per. Janis was ready to bolt up to her room, not so much as a hello but reckoned Jimmy wouldn't want the rep of being her 'rude boyfriend' (as concerned as he was with opinion clearly, bless) so she shouts out 'Jim's here', eyes on the stairs, giving them five seconds to respond before she was up 'em, like.* Jimmy: *The house makes him feel the same as it did the first time he was here once he's through the door again, thankfully though the urge to whistle is muted today, full of sobriety as he is, in every sense. He knew her family weren't renters in over their heads like his from day 1, it isn't just that like. He isn't just some reverse snob, it's everything here they haven't had to buy, and he couldn't if he had armfuls of cash. The 'vibe' he'd probably call it if he was Grace or her crowd. Still, he nods at everyone about as if it's common place for him to him to be greeted by a warmth that's nowt to do with temperature.* Evening. *He's got his smile back on but Jimmy's hand is scratching the back of his neck before he can stop it giving him away and all he can do is 'reckon' on Janis being too caught up on her own family dynamics to call him out for his lack of. That's the real #goals, isn't it? He thinks to himself, trying to shake these feelings off him without moving. Or sighing. You massive dickhead. Grace waves at him without looking up from her phone screen, a slice of his home life #relatable enough he can follow her sister's gaze with a decent smirk and a readiness to deal with what's gonna come down. Need's must had him here in the first place, alright, but now he's made it as far as asking to be let in, he'd like to stay. Not only be a grumpy twat Janis is stuck with, but a laugh she wants to stay about. In her gaff and out of it. When nobody immediately appears he heads up himself, not forgetting her insistence to lead the way before, he looks over his shoulder at her, obvious with it that's there's nowt for her to do now but keep up.*  Unlucky, mate. You're not getting off that easy, we've got a whole night ahead. Janis: *Janis is holding herself rigid, eyes fixed as tight and strong on her parents letting them know in no uncertain terms to behave...and they did? Leaving it at cheery hellos and promises of dinner being done in about half an hour if they fancied it. Hm. First time for everything. Letting disbelief at their ability to be normal for once in their friggin' lives (where had this been all the other times she'd begged them/the universe for it?!) carry her up the stairs behind Jim. She let him flounder in the burrow-like corridors of upstairs, so different to the openness of the downstairs, that'll teach you to go ahead, boy, she thought with a smirk, now pushing in front with arms wide open.* Pick a door, any door! *She laughed, heading to her own before he actually did, not knowing who was in.* Welcome to my humble-abode... *She added, as they were over the threshold, kicking her gym bag, over-spilling with laundry, aside. She sat down on her unmade bed to assess, from outsiders, from his, eyes. Not here enough anymore that it was critically messy, that was good; old posters covering up old holes in the plaster from older anger, nothing cringe, thankfully but- It was a bit sad, to be honest...bare, lacking...anything, personality, life. She sighed. Red-faced from embarrassment and redder still from anger at feeling that embarrassment. She didn't care about herself, yeah. And what? And what is that her room said as much in no uncertain terms and having him see it was just- well. Shaming. Time for a joke.* If this setting don't get you in the mood, I don't know what will. Jimmy: *10 kids, he reminds himself, when he reaches the top and is met with an upstairs that belongs to a different house. That disconnect continues, growing, when Janis opens one of the doors in the maze. Hers. He's got no room to judge, none of his house looks lived in yet, as if Cass can protest having to by refusing to help unpack, knowing he doesn't have (or want to make, 'cause there's enough stuff in there for it to be boring, but then there's what's missing too, which is worse. Depressing.) the time to tackle the unopened box on his own after months. He isn't. Judging, that is. But he can't stop himself looking about, eyes focusing again on what there is, and isn't. What it means. And doesn't. Fuck. What a pair, they are like. Jimmy has to say something, silence will have her thinking all kinds of shit that isn't right. Least of all that he's a twat. Which, sort of is. He's equipped to be that though, which is something. He can easily grin at her, fall into simple, old habits. Banter by numbers that'll be #nodrama for her to throw back at him. 'Cause whatever his dad might think right now, he's not the dickhead trying to make everything harder. Why would he? The day to day shit already has that covered. So he aims his biggest 'heart eyes' at her, from the earliest days of their fakery, hiding any real expression in the over-the-topness of it all, for her as much as him (he tells himself, without needing much convincing with the blush spotted. It isn't thanks his charms, they both know. But in a second they can pretend it's his cringe factor.)* Only got eyes for you, babe. We could be anywhere. *Still, even as he's mocking himself with mimicking throwing up in his mouth, before she can, naturally, passed that, somewhere real he's deciding that should she suggest getting out of here to elsewhere tonight he's not about to fight it. Wherever they end up. #nocringe. It'd be too much of a lie to act like asking to come here was too much and everything that's come after, as a result, is too. He shouldn't have done it and there's no wonder everything's been off since. Her room could be the same as downstairs and he wouldn't wanna stay there, would he? It's his 'vibe' fucking things. Cheers dad. Jimmy sighs, throwing himself on the bed, and turning it into the appreciative whistle he didn't do at the door. Fucking hell.* Janis: *The eye-roll comes so hard it has her reeling, spinning out in her own head. At least, its better for them both if she pretends that's what's got her feeling dazed and disorientated. Sick with not knowing how to play this. No 'oh my, a boy in my room!' giddiness, fuck that shit. It was 'oh my, having to spend time in this depressing pit'. And his hand forced to spend his time here too. It'd be different if he had wanted to. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But if he had wanted to then they really wouldn't care where they were, paying no mind to anything but each other, not like his car was a lambo or like she'd given two fucks then, so it might've been tolerable. Ignorable, at the very least. But he HAD to be here. Nowhere else to go. That paired with how this room inadvertently showed all her cards had her feeling as bare as their surroundings, #exposed as they would say for the craic. Not that she was mad at him for not begging to sleepover just 'cos he wanted her so bad, again, fuck that shit hard. Not that girl. Everything was just weird and off and it didn't lend itself to a good night's sleep for either of 'em, she was willing to bet. She shrugged, those muscles so overworked, never skipped, massaging at the tension there in vain. Bounced from the dramatic way he flung himself down, she rests herself down on her elbow beside him, face to face.* If you want, we can go to the Barn. Its kitted out, like- *She pauses, thinking back on the times when it had been a place they all made Diego's films together, the times it had been Edie and Rio's bedroom, sneaking in there with them, leaving Grace alone in the dark of their old shared room. Now, well- She spent even less time in there than she did here. Only venturing when it was so dark and she felt so alone, it just felt right to hide out in there; harking back to all those many nights she'd sneak out, praying Edie would be there again, and to the one night, she was. Tucked up in her bed as if she'd never left. As if she wasn't really there. But she was. She was. And she'd gestured for her to get in with her and they'd just held each other...Janis holding on for dear life, determined to NEVER let go, so she couldn't leave again. She thought she felt the same desperation, in the way her big sister clutch to her too, almost hurting her but she would have never of complained. Determined to keep her in sight, eyes wide open and staring into hers, barely visible in the dark but there. She was there. Of course, she had fell asleep, and of course, when she awoke, the sun was up and Edie was gone. She was just a fucking kid, like. 'A fucking failure is what you were. And are.' She shook her head. At least the barn HAD memories, more than you could say of the box room she'd relegated herself too. No longer able, or needing to share with anyone. Not Grace. Or Rio and Edie. They'd all gone. Empty rooms to fill.* All mod cons and a comfy bed, like. But you can keep that between us and add to your sob story, yeah? *She mimics the tiny violin he was always sending, #IRLShade like, hoping the piss-taking would distract from the disjointed nature she'd made that offer in. Ghosts refusing to let her go, let her be with him fully. She never could be. It was the sad kind of hurt when you just know, know that whatever you're doing, or want to do, won't work. And knowing this and knowing you're gonna hurt the other person, so far so clueless. Oh, Jim. Why do you think I was on my own when you met me, boy?* Jimmy: *He's fucked it instantly, looking at her too hard, all the bollocks stripped back and away by how close she is, suddenly, though he should have expected it. Not like her bed's big enough for anything much else, but he never does, somehow. Still. Ever. Breathing hurts but he forces himself not to keep it shallow, refusing to swap places so soon when she was meant to be the one swooning. Fake or not. And there's so much real shit he wants to say, but can't. Again, too much. It leaves him only inhaling and sighing, brooding like the kinda poser he isn't trying to be on any day. Least of all this one. Does it matter though? It doesn't feel like it when his hand drops before it can reach out, touch her in any way, jokes as out of bounds as anything. He isn't meant to be lost with her, but tonight doesn't give a fuck about that, does it? He jumps on the offer a change, nodding, frantic for a kick that'd have him behaving like less of a dick. Please. The fucking break he hasn't asked her for is there, inching closer to letting itself be said, and he's scared of that, going there like.* Alright. *He wants to give himself a smack for how quiet he sounds. Serious. Okay knobhead, calm it. Good luck following that through when you know you've got none though, Jim. He's up and taking her hand before he can dwell on it, moving to take the lead as far as retracing their steps and being out. He can handle that geography. Jimmy does allow himself a pause small enough only to draw a cross over his heart playfully once she's played the violin for him. Thanks, mate. It's almost spoken aloud 'cause of the relief the familiarity of it , brought here and now, comforts him. Alright, calm it again, tosser. But yeah, that works, letting him. He walks stretching their linked hands as far as possible while staying connected, laughing genuinely, still soft but out there. He draws a quick tick over the same space, hurriedly.* Done. Janis: Alright. *She confirms with a nod as serious as his close-to-silence was. Couldn't accuse him of being a man of too MANY words usually, like, but still, spoke volumes, didn't it? Could write friggin' volumes on how badly she was fucking it up with him now. That's what you did after break-ups, right? Write wanky (in all the ways) poetry. Fuck that. Get the fuck out of your own head, fucking eejit! Now! He's still here yet. She seized the conversation by the balls, 'fore it got away from her grasp again, immediately adding-* Alright, alright, alright! *Matthew McConaughey style. 'Cos Christ, someone had to cut through the tension and she weren't about to invite the fam up to give it a go. Fuck that, too. Even if it was awkward as arse, to say the least, and the dead and buried past was unearthing itself just to try drag her under tonight- she still wanted it to be just them. Him and her, fuck the rest. And that was something. Even if that was all she could get, all she still had. She'd cling to that with bleeding, broken nails, jaw clamped, teeth sunk deep in the flesh of it. It was something. She was so fucking used to, so fucking sick of, nothing. A promise, or a prayer, she repeated it over and over, 'til she near believed it herself. With this in mind, she pulls on the hand that is leading her, pulls him back, understanding his rush and only wanting to slow it for one thing. She mimics shooting him where he had been tracing, where she wants to trail her own fingers badly, as he draws in, she puts her fist over his heart, thumping up and down, up and down, before exploding out- And with that, she kisses him, as desperate as he was to take up her offer and run, she needed this more. And she had never known anything she needed more than to run. But she did. She did.* Done. *She mirrors, drawing her lips away from his, with a smirk. Ahead again, one foot on the top step.* Jimmy: *He's about to descend back into mockery, the words 'all about the obscure refs, you' there, ready to go if he's willing to release them, thoughts already going backward, onto the typed convo where she tried to give him an artsy education, school him about muses, all of that, but before he can take the step she's pulling him, literally to where she's forced a stop. In the first second he's tense, thinking it's a full one, that she's done with him and the company he isn't being tonight, but before he can fall further into his pit (he's in there enough, prior that she's tried to dig at him with her best McConaughey, for fuck's sake) he all but floats out. There's no # that could cover this in his stunted imagination, he thinks, before his brain shuts off. The kiss is more than the break he didn't have the balls to ask for (though it lasts about as long as the one he'd gave her, standing on some twat's marble floor). It's a separation from all the shit that's been running him ragged for days, forcing him to run here in the first place. Jimmy knows then that he'll stay, has to, not 'cause there's nowhere else to go, but 'cause nowhere else exists when she kisses him like that. Fuck. It basically escapes, not as the word, but in sound that he can't escape either. Doesn't want to. The only thing he cares about is keeping this close to her and knowing she's alright with him being there. More than fucking alright like.* Nah mate *He retorts breathlessly, clawing back some strength back only as his hands find her hips and use the grip he's found there to spin her body round to face him. He isn't done yet, there's no chance. Not now she's given him one to erase the last few days and land him back into decent ones with her. Jimmy's an echo of how he was after running from Mr Lucas and he's not letting go of that. What for? 'Cause his dad wants him to. Fuck that and fuck him. What was he done with was feeling like shit. So of course he kissed her again, sinking only into the depths of that, trying to say everything with it that he couldn't verbally. Needing to have a go even though it meant hearing Janis' clatter into the beginnings of the banister with the force of everything he was desperate for her to know, 'cause if he pulled back then that'd be it and he's not having that. Fuck no. He's lost enough, tonight's bed being the least of it. Janis: *If she was going to complain, (she wasn't), he doesn't give her the time, or space, to do so. Exactly what they both needed; and she didn't need to reckon that. Crashing together, crashing into the wall, like. No room for anything to come between 'em, not their thoughts or past or any of that bullshit; all blurring into background nothingness, where it belonged. In these moments, there was nothing but them and their need. And it was good. Really good. The kind of good she didn't need to second-guess or overthink. Just be in it and soak in every second, every touch, the heat and feel of his skin against hers, alive, human, real. The violence of the urgency, the competitive one-upping- Not only keeping it interesting (to say the fucking least) but keeping it as something she could understand, something that didn't scare the living shit out of her, frankly. Easy as breathing, this; Though both theirs was heavy now, laboured from the control of letting some of said go, whilst not losing themselves to it so wholly that they alerted someone to it, spoiling their fun for the second time in a week. A game of meeting every kiss of his with more, and then some. Biting, tugging at his bottom lip in, trying in vain to make the kiss even deeper. Nails dug into his shoulders, pulling him down with her as her back slid down the wall, him sat at the top of the stairs, her on his lap. 'How did you stop yourself though?' A faint voice in the back of her mind pondered, with no intention to found within her. Clearly, they needed the Mr. Lucas' of the world or they'd never get anything else done. Clearly channeling the man himself, Pablo chose this time to appear out of his room, quite literally stumbling onto the scene, and them, Janis sticking out an arm (and jumping off Jim's lap) with lightning reflexes so he didn't topple down the fucking stairs.* Oops, watch it... *She didn't have time (nor desire) to be embarrassed. Her older Brother's mumbly, half-asleep grumbles of 'a-fucking-gain? Really Janis?!' and promises to 'have words with you, later!' to Jim, had her creasing. When Pablo was out of sight, and out of mind as soon as, she rested her head on the shoulder she'd left nailmarks in, kissing it gently though she wasn't particularly sorry about it.* Jimmy: *It isn't until she has to save him from hitting the bottom of the stairs with a thud that he even sorts out in his head again where they are, beyond the abstract bollocks of 'together' and all that. It takes that much to get through to him, but he isn't sorry, 'cause he isn't alone in it. If he's falling, figuratively as well as the near literal, then she is too. And that's alright by him. More than fucking alright, as per like. Jimmy can laugh through this interruption, at what it takes to pull them apart now (unlucky Mr Lucas but you probably won't cut it next time) adding to it himself with the breathless whisper of 'fucking hell, mate' that finds only her ear as he shakes his head affectionately at the pair of 'em. Janis' brother's appearance (along with anything he might have said) forgotten as soon as it's happened, same as before. If they'd been any room for it he might have felt bad for the lad, keeping mugging him off like that, but he still wants what he wants. Needs, honestly. There's no forgetting, or ignoring that any 'itch' has only been scratched so far as to make it more 'itchier', more noticeable in the first place. It's a crap analogy but it's what's there as he pulls her down the stairs and back towards the door, rougher and noisier that he would if he could make a string of thoughts or words fit together properly to promise her that this still isn't done. Jimmy 'reckons' in a semi coherent idea that he'll barricade the barn door with any or all manner of shit, once they are there,  to guarantee no more interruptions tonight. Bet on that, mate, his expression says, as they go. Jinx. Fuck. He almost kicks the door in frustration upon hearing the shout for dinner, her dad's head catching them as 'ready' for it. Pfft. No chance. It smells good, yeah, but there's no contest. Janis feels, looks and smells incredible like. Meals can wait, they always did at his, even when he had his mum there to do his job of moving a tray of something from freezer to cooker, or his pop's of fetching a takeaway when in from work, there was no sitting down at a this or that time. No table to eat at either, just the sofa, or his bed when he was being the type of utter dickhead that only a certain age manages, whenever it was put in front of him. Here at Janis, that time, was right now. And worse, ('cause of course there's worse with his English luck) before he can do a dash that'd have that school day looking like slo-mo, his stomach rumbles, sealing the deal and their fates. His girlfriend has never let him go hungry yet. Shit. To be continued then.*