#hnnn im having. So many ideas now about this actually

[saphira-approves]

Can I come and tell you my deepest pain?

We should have had Morzan alive. I mean yeah, it would fuck up the whole narrative but imagine Murtagh being afraid of his father. He hates the king but fears his father.

Imagine him and Thorn; Morzan sees them, and he has problems with booze in canon, just how drunk he'd have gotten after Thorn learned to talk? There he is with his nameless dragon, half of his heart and soul, that he had to watch descend into stupidity. (Does he have its name written up here and there, does he watch it every day just to think about how he could make it real again?) Would he dream of killing his son and taking his dragon to himself? Would he want that even though he despises that sick joke of a connection that is in between Galbatorix and Shruikan?

And then Galbatorix finally discovers the name of the names. How would he beg for the king to use it to heal his companion?

Also, it would be very funny to watch our main characters run for their lives with an angry dragon after them, but y'know.

Should I write a fic about this

Oh you absolutely should write a fic about this (and let me know when you do! I’d love to read it!), and I should go back through my WIPs to find my time travel AUs…

I usually write more about Selena than Morzan, but I do love the idea of getting to see grown-up Murtagh’s reaction to seeing his father, especially in a context where Murtagh has lived without him for a while—whether that’s because Brom didn’t kill Morzan and Selena got both her sons to Carvahall, or because resurrection or time travel shenanigans happened.

As for Morzan still being around when Murtagh gets captured… I think there’s a 50/50 chance he gets Real Weird about the torture, in a “I was pretty sure up to this point that I didn’t actually care about my son but now my best friend is torturing My Son and I don’t like it actually” way, and I think that would be really fun to explore; I think, also, that when Thorn hatches and Galbatorix prematurely increases his size, Morzan would again be Real Weird about it because, like, that’s a baby dragon the size of an adult. He hasn’t lost his name, he just hasn’t really developed one yet; he’s a weird, warped mirror of Morzan’s own dragon. And when Thorn does, eventually, with difficulty, start to ‘grow up’, Morzan’s probably going to get twitchy about it—it’s been at least a century, more than two thirds of his lifespan, since he’s even MET a somewhat psychologically stable dragon; how much has he forgotten of their true intelligence, their real personalities? And when Galbatorix does find The Word, if Morzan asks him to heal his own dragon… honestly I don’t know if Galbatorix would be able to. Having power and knowing how to use it are two different things, we saw Murtagh figure that out in his own book with The Word. Would the king even know where to start? Would he allow Morzan to try for himself? Morzan probably wouldn’t have a clue where to begin, all we ever hear about him from people who’d met him is that he’s a powerful spellcaster, but not a very clever one.

Honestly, the whole situation might drive Morzan to split from Galbatorix; and even if not, it would still probably drive Morzan to be extremely destructive, to himself and everyone around him.

Also he’d be so pissed to learn about Eragon’s true parentage. Not even in a “my wife cheated on me?!” way but in a “oh my god can Brom stop being SO OBSESSED with me for FIVE MINUTES” kind of way.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e42

I just came in with Taliesin saying “Candyland for Goth kids” what are we talking about

“Everyone’s fuckin’ Avantica!”

Liam calling out Laura for shaming him xD

A: “People have learned not to tangle with me.”

F: *awkwardly coughing* “Yeah, oh, yeah, uh, who would want to fall in with that.”

I swear this tavern music makes me think of Skyrim every time. Is that what it’s from?

lol the gnome’s voice is amazing

Cad: “I could fill a book with what I don’t know” mood

“Bar fights are fun! It’s part of the reason we live here!” xD

Oh lord Jester

Gonna bar fight this gnome oh lord

CAN WE GO LIKE TEN MINUTES WITHOUT BAD DECISIONS

I love fun as much as the rest of you but come on guys

Jester’s gonna get her butt kicked by a gnome lol

J: “I’m gonna pat his head and cast ‘cure wounds’”

Everyone: “Awww!”

Caleb honey it’s a pirate cove do you really think there’s a bookstore??

Cad: “Somebody worth their salt, since worth your salt is a really nice phrase, I like that. Worth your salt.”

Guyssss I love Caduceus

He’s very caught up in how much salt is worth now it’s amazing I love him

“If things go correctly, I don’t think there will be any worry of drowning” why does everything she says sound sinister now. Everyone seems spooked every time she says something.

OOOO SOMEONE WITH BAD BLOOD WITH AVANTICA

The Diver’s Grave

I don’t like that

“Turtle Boy”?! Bitch you leave Orli alone

Oh lovely a haunted ocean graveyard

Yoooo sea shanty

Gaaaasp Matt is actually singing it

Uhm guys I need to hear him sing NOT in a funny accent??

I missed the whole song i was distracted by Matt’s singing

Okay I’ll listen this time

“Her hungry eye” DONT LIKE

“With the Missus”?

I bet Avantica dumped Allison for Ukutoa :P

Avantica at some point, probably: “Relationship with Allison: ended. We stan Ukutoa now"

A: “Wouldn’t want to cause a ruckus the same day you arrive, no? Who would do that?”

The M9: “pssshh what, a ruckus? What? Nahhh.”

Cad’s high passive perception is so nice

lol Beau fail

Sam and Marsha are CHILDREN pass it on

J: “I think we’re all kind of murderers sometimes.”

Caleb, internally panicking: “I don’t think aLL of us are murderers.”

“What’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever done” Oh Jester don’t ask

Aww Jester :(

J: “What if we can never go home?!”

C: “We’ll… we’ll get you home…”

Poor Jester’s having a rough time

“You said her name, when we were dancing.”

Ouch Jester maybe now isn’t the time…

“She was handsome” I’m having feelings

Hnnn Fjord you’re acting a bit shifty again just tell your friends honestly what’s going on without acting so strange with them

Cad: “What part of the body are amigos?”

Listen, I’m gonna always miss Molly, but Caduceus is the best thing that could have happened to this group.

Oh sure give these poor people the ship y’all STOLE brilliant idea :P

Oh boy they fucked up Vera heard

“Tiffany”

Guys don’t discuss it here right now even with code names it’s a bad idea

Tiffany and the Apricot Tree

Mmm I’m not sure that this plan seems like a good idea

“We’re calling him ‘Honda’” I snorted

“Bitch I work here”

“THE TWO CLERICS ARE NOT GOING ON THIS MISSION” finally an intelligent decision

“A peeping tom cat”

This is going to go wrong somehow. I’m not sure exactly how. There are too many possibilities. But it will go bad.

Oh lord.

If Fjord gonna accidentally interrupt Avantica and Allison?

lol wrong room

Damn I really hoped he’d accidentally walk in on something

Fuck is Fjord having to sleep with her again

Mmm a book. You should absolutely not take it.

Fuuuuuuuck

she’s gonna know

GET THE FUCK OUT

This is literally such a disaster they are making the WORST decisions

And now they’ve broken the rules of the cove too

JESTER YOU HAVE MENDING JUST FIX THINGS?

crawling under the bed

oh godddd

IM DYING

I swear Nott and Jester get so fucking lucky

Aaaaand now Nott’s gonna end up drunk

Oh lord and now she’s confused

SO

FUCKING

LUCKY

oh no

“He uh, he got stabbed…”

“I was so hoping you were gonna attack her” lol Matt

Oh sure just keep making holes until you end up under water

STOP WASTING THE PAINT

Can she not mend the hole??

Beau don’t accuse Caleb of trying to rob you honey that’s terrible

Beau honey

don’t

Cad: “Waldoc got stabbed? But Waldoc’s so nice! Who would stab Waldoc?”

Caduceus is a good boy

“I’m gonna be Keg”

“I’m gonna be Molly” JesTER NO

omg

they

caused a dude to jump off the crows nest

This is just… a disaster

Beau gives so much sass

“There’s been no word but I assume there’s just pandemonium all over” Caduceus knows

OH NOW SHE REMEMBERS MENDING

N: “Are you saying to me that WE made a MISTAKE?”

And Taliesin loses it

Cad’s right, they should go to “check” on things.

Caduceus with all the killer perception rolls helllll yeah

Caduceus just healing everyone like the sweet boy he is

“I love this character so much” SAME

like y’all as much as I loved and will always love Molly… Caduceus means so much to me

F: “We should frame Vera. She hates me, she wants my job.”

N: “Well didn’t you steal her job…?

Oh shiiiiiiiiiit it’s her dream journal

Do you think Mandarin somehow marked Fjord without Fjord knowing?? Was he prepping Fjord?

Ohhh or maybe not, since apparently he had a change of heart

WOAH BITCH SHE WHAT

AVANTICA IS TOTALLY GONNA TRY TO SACRIFICE FJORD TO UKATOA

“perhaps this one will be more useful than Vandrin” fuuuuuuuuuuck dont like dont like

WHAT OMG THAT NAT20

CALEB YEAAAAHHHHHHH

he got the exact DC

amazing

“you motherfucker” I love how they keep just obliterating Matt’s stuff and he’s just so done

Oooo a no poison necklace

They should really think about this over a nice long two break

I feel like this plan is not great…

But I feel like that about most of their plans

ohhh no

Taliesin is like “we had a plan but sure go ahead and change things it’s fine”

Oh please make that check

please

oh no

15

that can’t be good enough

they’re dead

they’re dead she knows they’re dead she know they’re dead she knows

THEY CANT LIE TO HER HER PERCEPTION IS TOO HIGH

“Whoever did this doesn’t understand the rules of the city very well”

SHE

KNOWS

oh god

oh god Vera can track

CALEB WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WE HAVE TO WAIT TWO WEEKS

IM

GONNA

DIE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

im literally silently screaming in my house at 1am

akljBJLDHSGSJFHGADalkhg

[gazlena]

I saw you were looking for prompt ideas and had to leave an ask 😄 How about one where Zim's been captured by membrane and Dib tries to help him escape. Cliche, yes, but I never get tired of reading those 😂

okay so im sorry this is so late but it took me forever to write (i hate college lol) and im not very good at these two yet. so im sorry in advance but:

Dib said long ago he wanted Zim to be captured, but he didn't mean like this.

Staring at a glass chamber in his father's lab, Dib felt his stomach churn as he watched Zim, drowning in green liquid as he kicked and screamed at the walls he knew damn well weren't going to budge.

It was exactly what his 12-year-old self said he wanted—and the more that he thought about it, he probably did mean that at the time, when it was only a hypothetical that Zim's guts would be splayed all over an operating table (because getting people to believe a green kid with no ears was an alien was apparently impossible), but that was then. Before their pseudo-rivalry had dissolved into friendship, before Zim's plot to destroy the Earth (and subsequently, Dib's quest to save it) had more or less died off, before Dib had noticed that Zim was the only person in his life who had ever genuinely believed in him.

And of course, before the first time Dib's heart beat a little too fast around his so-called mortal enemy.

"Filthy humans and their—their stupid INFERIOR technology," Zim spat, ironically trapped by said inferior technology, "should have killed them all when I had the chance."

Considering where Zim was right now, Dib wasn't going to point out that he never really had a shot at annihilating all humans anyway. "You probably should have."

"You know what they keep doing to me? To ZIM?" And after all these years, his tiny hand still shook. "These human MEAT worms keep poking me, like I'm some kind of freak—"

"I mean, you are an alien. That’s kind of freaky."

"But Zim is not some stupid... lab hamster for them to experiment on!" Zim said. He gave up on kicking and resigned himself to crossing his arms and floating backwards. "They will be punished."

I'll make them pay, Dib thought.

"I already foil their plans as it is, you know. They keep trying to get me to talk, or even just to scream," Zim smirked, "but I never will."

"You know my dad knows you can talk, right? I mean, how many times did you come over even before we started—"

"Yes, but he can't make me. Not the all-powerful ZIM, member of the mighty Irken race!"

Dib had a feeling that Zim's recent talk of his great "power" was just to keep him from going insane. At least his dad wasn't getting what he wanted though, but at what cost to Zim? He looked more tired lately, and in-between rants against the entire human race and the superiority of literally anything Irken were moments that Zim just looked like he had... given up.

That, though, was about to change.

Dib pressed his hand to the glass. Zim pressed back.

"So, are you gonna get me out of here or what?" he asked softly. 

"I am," Dib said, with a grin, "that's why I came here today, actually."

He reached underneath his coat (Zim was wondering what that bulge was, actually, but they hadn’t gotten that far in their relationship yet) and fished out a small—but very familiar—grey robot.

"GIR!" Zim cried. Dib was happier when he saw the relief wash over his face. "But how the hell did you get him to be quiet?"

"I turned him off."

Dib set GIR down on the ground, watching as the lovably annoying robot slowly came to life while it yelled unintelligable bullshit.

"SHHH!" Zim hissed from inside his alien prison. "They'll hear you—"

“Gaz said she’s covering for us,” Dib said, which was surprisingly true: Gaz was covering for them, by blasting the speakers on some console game upstairs, but she said it was only because she had been waiting years for him to get launched into space. That him being on the run with his alien boyfriend was possibly the best thing that could ever happen to her. Regardless of how true that actually was, Dad probably wouldn’t be hearing for the next three weeks, so. They were good. 

“Your scary sister? Helping you? That’s almost as weird as when I do it.”

Rolling his eyes, Dib waved a drive-thru taco bag in the air.

“You’re going to lose an arm, you know,” Zim said, as GIR started climbing Dib’s trench coat like a deranged spider monkey trying to grab it from him.

“You’re supposed to free him first,” Dib said to GIR, pouting, “what’s the point of having a robot dog-thingy sidekick if it’s fucking insane, anyway?”

“Yeah, that’s sort of how I figured out the Tallest were lying to me.”

GIR bit into the side of Zim’s prison, the green inside of it spilling out onto the floor—apparently bulletproof glass was no match for alien robots. The way it was chomping away at the thing, Dib almost wondered whether it was actually worth the 2.99 for the tacos. 

By the time all the glass had disappeared, Zim was (with no success) trying to get all the alien-preservation-stuff off of him. Disgusted, he flung off some of the jello-like remnants from his arms. “Filthy, filthy earth goo...” he muttered, as GIR climbed onto Dib’s back and snatched the tacos from him.

Dib couldn’t care less about whatever was on him. After their 48-hour nightmare, he felt like doing nothing but taking Zim in his arms and kissing him. But even if Gaz was playing Vampire Piggy Hunter on max volume (he could hear it all the way down here, so probably), he figured it wouldn’t be long before Dad noticed the giant spaceship crashed in the middle of the yard.

So instead, he took Zim’s hand and squeezed. Zim squeezed back.

“You have a ship ready?” Zim asked.

“Yeah, just outside. I wasn’t really sure how to drive it though so it may-or-may-not be sort of stuck in the grass right now.”

If Zim had eyebrows, one of them would have been raised. “It still works, though!” Dib explained.

GIR’s taco buzz had already (thankfully) helped with the next part of the plan: a decent chunk of the wall was gone now. Dirt fell into the lab while the night sky peeked in. Climbing out of the basement and into the light, Dib could see the sky, streaked with black and red and purple and covered with glowing specks of stars. Under the moonlight, Zim glowed too, his eyes the most brilliant magenta and his green skin practically shimmering like...like—

“What?” Zim said, climbing into his ship from the open window. “Are you just going to stand there all night?”

Dib didn’t think he had ever seen anything more beautiful in his life.

He followed Zim into the passenger seat, while GIR scurried into the back for snacks and the big TV.

“I don’t know why you have to waste precious time staring at the sky,” Zim huffed. “Night sky, big deal! You’ll be in it in five minutes anyway.” 

----

okay hnnn thats where i think im gonna end it. thank u for sending something in! it was really good to get some practice and i hope u liked it

[secretly-a-jedi]

thank you @venuscloacina ! you're really great!!

THE LAST

Drink: water

Phone call: me sister

Text message: someone i like a lot

Song you listened to: solesbury hill on the radio last night

Time you cried: time is fake. probably not very long ago

Dated someone twice: nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: it's been a while

Lost someone special: a fee years ago

Been cheated on: i dont think ever

Been depressed: all day erry day

Gotten drunk and thrown up: im not sure but it's been a While

Three favorite colors -

any blue that reminds me of water or the sky

lavender

sunset orange?

IN THE LAST YEAR I HAVE

Fallen out of love: hnnn yeah

Laughed until you cried: yes i actually couldnt breathe

Found out someone has been talking about you: not really?

Met someone who changed you: i guess

Found out who your friends are: if anyone's the bad friend it's me, lonely mcintrovert 20: Kissed someone on your Facebook list: a little

GENERAL

How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most? i dont know sound

Do you have any pets: chloe, the most amazing pupperino

Do you want to change your name: maybe to shrapnel for the street cred 

What did you do for your last birthday: not much at all

What time did you wake up: i was up for a while around 1 but actually woke up at 4 (im nocturnal)

What were you doing at midnight last night: moving boxes for 10.15 an hour

Name something you can’t wait for: i think i'm supposed to get a raise in november?

When was the last time you saw your mom: half an hour ago

What are you listening to right now: two different clocks ticking

Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: talked to? i kissed a guy named Tom for discounted mexican food

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: my legs are sore and i need to be more productive

Most visited website: tumblr and youtube i guess?

Hair color: brown with a little red

Short or long hair: i'm getting kinda shaggy, should probably cut it soon

Do you have a crush on someone: a Very big Crush

What do you like about yourself: i'm helpful

Any piercings: nope

blood type: im not getting my wallet for this question but i think A neg

Nickname: kev?

Relationship status: single but starting to mingle

Zodiac: taurus

Pronouns: he/him

Favourite TV show: stranger things and the office

Tattoos: there's a dark spot on my palm where i stabbed myself with a pencil as a kid

Right or left handed: right

Surgery: no open surgeries

Sport: ya boi played soccer for the shamrocks, scored one goal the day my shoes were on the wrong feet

Vacations: my favorite so far is Maine, i want to go everywhere where there's camping and hiking

Trainers: not what we call em in these parts but i have some really old vans and some pretty new nikes for running

Eating: im gonna have a meatball sub soon

Drinking: should also drink water, feelin dehydrated

I’m about to: get off my ass and shower

Waiting for: 15k to appear in my bank account so i can get rid of my student loan debt

Get married: who the Heck knows

Career: i wanna write but i need to practice if thats gonna happen 

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: ehh cant choose

Lips or eyes: eyes? theyre the window to the soul but lips are the window to the teeth

Short or Tall: girls are amazing no matter the height

Older or younger: as long as the difference isnt big it doesnt matter

Nice arms or stomach: smile and laugh

Hookup or relationship: relationship

Troublemaker or Hesitant: definitely hesitant, things make me nervous

HAVE YOU EVER 

Lost glasses/contact lenses: my eyes are good for now

Been arrested: if i had been my mom wouldve killed me in my sleep

Cried when someone died: yes funerals are sad

Fallen for a friend: more times than i should've

Kissed a stranger: twice

Drank hard liquor: after i was peer pressured into doing Drugs

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: depends on the situation

Miracles: mmmm yeah

Love at first sight: it can happen fast but i think ya gotta talk

Santa Claus: when i was smol

Kiss on the first date: i dont think ive really been on a first date since high school?

Angels: maybe?

OTHER

Eye color: hazel

Favorite Movie(s): ah there are so many? the martian, gone girl, good will hunting, the princess bride, 12 angry men, big hero 6

okay im not actually going to tag anyone because i have no idea who likes doing these? but if you follow me and you wanna do it, go for it!!

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

==>

TG: no i remizzle TG: i T-to-tha-izzold u a million tines shizzle sounds like it could be tha best th'n EVAAAAAR TG: * wherein evizzles capze' as hizzeck TG and yo momma: bizzy also that no matta how off tha hook it miznight be TG: its probly giznonna advizzle all tha schizzles of "ha condescension" 

TT: Right straight from long beach nigga. TT: But if we can stizzop playa? 

TG: part of me doesnt even wizzy ta G-to-tha-izzive ha tha satsfaction TG: of startin up at all TG: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. like if we diznidnt W-to-tha-izzuolndt that wreck motherfucka S-H-to-tha-izzit just so hiliariously??? TG: so many olols 

TT: I must be H-to-tha-izzard of countizzle, coz I'm barely rack'n up a S-to-tha-izzingle gizzle o-laugh-out-loud at thizzat sippin' gesture.

TG: no but it would TG: n fo` all we kizzy start'n it up is sippin' right 'n ha claws with my forty-fo' mag.... TG yeah yeah baby: cizzould be a trizzap waintin fizzor jizzane tha moment shizze enta TG: You gotta check dis shit out yo. if i stiznop ha from play'n TG: M-to-tha-izzaybe i cizzle at lizzeat gizzle ha a CHANCE at a future  

TT: But there be no future on Earth fo` them. TT puttin tha smack down: Or fo` us, fizzy that matta. I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. 

TG: D-to-tha-izzunno that fo` a fact TG: but anywaaaayyyy TG: Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. i kizzay already TG: made dis bizzles fizzile for ha 

TT: Wizzy? Why? 

TG: 2 scare tha S-H-to-tha-izzit out of hustla TG: Chill as I take you on a trip. make ha learn ta fear an respect tha fuckin hizzay lizzay she should TG: tizzy mizzle we can drop dis whole 'n game meetup slizzle reserizzle idea all 2 geth TG: sweet tizzy it may bey 

TT: Chill as I take you on a trip. Rizzle. Its just anotha homocide. TT: I hizzy yoe not think'n 'bout send'n baller one of yo' batshit ~ATH scripts. 

TG: on T-H-to-tha-izzas sizzle TG: i be mizzle zuipperpizzles 

TT: Mizziss Zuippizzles straight from long beach nigga? TT: Tha amount of senze you haven't been blunt-rollin' be un-fuck'n-real. TT: Just go take a nap. N D-to-tha-izzon't even think 'bout send'n ha thizzat file. TT with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back Be you listen'n?  

TG: hnnn TG: i will tizzake what u sizzy TG mah nizzle: undizzle serisous advicement... Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf., TG: *WONK* ~_? 

TT: Jesus. Hollaz to the East Side. 

TG: dizzay TG: whiznen did yizzay stop bizzay anizzle fun 

TT: What? 

TG: Death row 187 4 life. it uze ta be youd git a kick out off a slizzunt like that TG fo all my homies in the pen: *stunt 

TT in tha hood: Dawg, you knizzle I'm down wit insane stunts. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. TT: Its just anotha homocide. Insizzle stunts be practicizzle all I'm all about. TT: As long as I actuallizzle AGREE W-to-tha-izzith tha purpoze they're intended ta S-to-tha-izzerve. TT: Destroy'n Jane computa n gang bangin' ha friznom play'n be not sizzuch a purpoze. 

TG paper'd up: betcha ur nigga would agree w me TG: why C-to-tha-izzant yo' be M-to-tha-izzore like him 

TT: I be more lizzle him.  

TG: i mean MOAAAR like him 

TT: You jizzy mispelled "miznore", caus'n me to suddenly understizzle jack everyth'n. 

TG: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. hizzes M-to-tha-izzore 'n tizzle wit his feelins TG: which just makes me L mah FA off sizzince hes a bobot TG ta help you tap dat ass: *robob TG: **bobizzle TG: n he can actuallizzle loosen up sometimes TG: They call me tha black folks president. kinda L-to-tha-izzike u uze' ta could 

TT: Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. I uze' ta could? Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. 

TG: Bounce wit me. fo` 1 saggin' TG: he doesnt insta shootdizzle a bizzle of frisky rp shenans now n thizzay ;)  

TT yaba daba dizzle: Yizzay... TT: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. I kind of wish yizzy wouldn't do thiznat wit hizzle. It dont stop till the wheels fall off. 

TG: why tha f nizzot 

TT: It just seems a shawty tawdry n disrespectful. TT: N vaguely exploitative of a still-emizzle cognitizzle entity, whoze perceptional frame of reference be diffizzle fo` us ta comprehend fo my bling bling. 

TG: oh come on TG: hizzes cool a homey just liek you its just he lives 'n sizzy shades 

TT: It rizzubs me tha wrong way, be all. 

TG: ohhhh TG: do uuuuuu like a motha fucka... TG: WANT me 2 rub yizzy tha right wizzay ;D 

TT: Not R-E-A-Double-Lizzy. 

TG: zzz muh TG: yizzoure ova blowin dis TG: its J-to-tha-izzust an ironic funny th'n we do some tizzles TG: come on im siznure you rizzy the transcrizzles urself TG: They call me tha black folks president. its all alot of jokizzle buiishit 

TT: He blizzay me frizzle bein able ta read transcripts sometimizzles.

TG: Real niggas recognize the realness. oh TG: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. wow he dizzoes? TG: sneakizzle bastizzle 

TT so you betta run and grab yo glock: N anyway, I'm really not sizzy hizzow ironic it be.  

TG: ok next tizzle i W-to-tha-izzill run it by tizzy MASTAR F-to-tha-izzirst TG: wit his fancy fuckin ironimeta 

TT: Ok, here tha th'n wit tha AR, since yizzay still don't S-to-tha-izzeem ta git it. TT: He very similar ta me 'n tizzy process n behavior, yes. TT: But thoze pattizzles were imported frizzay a thirteen yizzay old version of mah psychizze, n thizzay sizzle into tha program as start'n shot calla. TT: 'n tha years sizzle, we've both evolved somizzle. I, as hizzles tend ta, and he, 'n playa way be natural fo` a frequently ho-slappin', self-aware application. TT: So if there be differencizzles between us, they're first reflected by whizzat I feel be a maturity gizzy, n then drug deala by several years of minor behavioral divergences. 

TG: omg... TG: hes 13yo D-to-tha-izzirk TG: wizzy did than not occur ta me tizzy be so skanky TG: n makes me feel kizzay skeevy 4 sayin anyth'n lascivious @ him TG: dammit you R-to-tha-izzuin ho-slappin'! 

TT fo' sho': Yoe welcome in all flavas. TT: Yo, yizzay gizzay realize I cizzy hear yizzou, R-to-tha-izzight?  

TG: pfffffhahaha 

TT: Yes, I wizzas aware. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. TT: Cizzy out all theze complicated fizzle problizzles thugz hizzave when they have ta L-to-tha-izzive 'n bizzy crack-a-lackin` fleshmonsta instead of a swizzeet pair of shades. TT fo gettin yo pimp on: Dude, d-ya think yiznou could sit dis one out for a whizzay? Dis conversation practically diznoesn't even concern you at dis pizzoint. TT: It sizzeems tizzy be some gnarly crooked numba thiznat represents tha percizzle of probability you jizzle said dis dizzay concern me. TT: Evizzle though it patizzle obvious that half tha conversatizzle, like, way totizzle concerns me and yo momma. TT: Shit, Roxy lizzle in tha dogg pound. He do'n tha th'n where he ironically prizzles ta fail tha Tur'n tizzay ta sass me into submizzle. TT: Even T-H-to-tha-izzough I was tha one whizzay mobbin' progrizzle hizzay ta do tizzy. 

TG: ell TG sho nuff: emm TG: eff TG: ayy TG: OFF~~!~ TG: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. like my bizzay be jizzle there on tha floor TG where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': be how hiznard i elled it off just niznow 

TT fo gettin yo pimp on: (Not pizzle' at tha fizzy butt cauze I'm only 13 years old, motherfucka.) TT: This be fuckin' dumb. TT: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. I'm go'n ta leave both of you ta interact howeva yizzay want. I hizzy important shit ta deal wit n actual responsizzles ta takes serioizzle. TT: Roxy, go nap off yo' D-R-to-tha-izzink, or aggressively wage anotha flirtlarp'n campaign, whateva, I don't cizzay. Anotha dogg house production. TT: Jizzy dizzle sizzay thiznat file ta Jizzay, ok? 

timaeustestify [TT] ceaze' pester'n tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

> Roxy: Flirtlizzle.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e41

I can’t believe it’s time to find out the consequences of Fjord’s accidental mistakes and bad decisions

lol I almost panicked when Travis wasn’t at the table like he HAS to be here for this

I like the “oh nos” coming from the rest about Sam’s ad

SAM NO

LOL MATT’S FACE

Sam doesn’t know what any of his Scottish means he probably just insulted his own mother

He’s gonna give Cad Molly’s necklace IT’S FINE IM NOT EMOTIONAL EXCEPT I AM

Wow okay Cad and Caleb can y’all chill and not give me emotions? Thanks.

B: *hands over Frumpkin*

C: “You have three or four more days you know”

B: “DO I?!” *grabs Frumpkin back and sticks him in her pocket*

I sure hope Sprinkles is alright after almost drowning along with the rest of them, poor thing

FJORD WAS HER FIRST SEMI-KISS

This whole interaction is super cute im dying

Fjord listen no pressure but try not to break her heart

Nott somehow always makes me a little sad

LOL oh this advice Nott. Amazing.

lol the clerics spoiling Matt’s plans for a supply stop

YES GOOD PLEASE ACQUIRE THE SKILLS NEEDED FOR SAILING

Marisha looks so excited

JESTER NO CRUSHING UP YOUR DIAMONDS FOR TATTOOS DO YOU UNDERSTAND

y’all need those

for revivifying or whatever

listen though, they absolutely all need matching sparkle tattoos someday though I want it real bad

OOO are they gonna do pirate shit??? Attack the ship and steal stuff?

This is a test if I ever saw one

Guys don’t do it please it’s such a bad idea

I just feel like Avantica is testing Fjord with basically everything

Guys please just don’t

Cad’s right it’s a bad decision

FJORD

YOU

FUCKING

IDIOT

FJORD IS A FJUCKING FJOOL

this is such a bad idea

Jester giving him the salty shoulder

“I feel like this is somehow connected to your previous bad decisions” yes Cad please keep shaming him

lol Not going crazy with the canon stuff

oh damn fjord

lol buddy Nott doesn’t even need that anymore goofy boy

Sam’s gonna roll really bad and Nott’s gonna hit the ship I can feel it

A NAT 1

okay it didn’t fire okay

Nott darling you’re going to blow up your own ship

“fire boy! go, gogo!”

“Alright, so you owe us a canon.”

Oh lord

20 thank god

SHIIIIIIIPS

They’re gonna end up with wanted posters when they get back to shore

Fjord honey what are you doing this isn’t even like you. Is this about gaining Avantica’s trust? At what cost??

Caduceus the Cool Calm Guy

God this is just… so bad

I’m serious they’re going to end up being wanted criminals

fjord

why the fuck did you give him your real name

Caduceus is the only smart one, hiding his face

stop using you’re real names Fjord for fuck’s sake be smart

Caleb plz stop

oh god guys this isn’t worth the trouble

this is gonna be so bad im so on edge

this is where the fight will break out

Jester what are you going to do oh no

Poor Liab

JESTER YOU CANT TATTOO SOMEONE AGAINST THEIR WILL

here we go I hope you’re ready to live with your bad decisions Fjord

Are they even considering that whatever this magical item is, it’ll probably go straight to Avantica?

“I don’t trust Avantica” Beau says to Caleb through Frumpkin while members of Avantica’s crew are present.

Frumpkin being able to attack is cool as frick I like that

Don’t die Frumpkin

“twelve renegade points, one point paragon!” lol Matt

I like how Beau’s like “we’re trying to be good people” but then threatens to slit his throat. Like FYI Beau, threatening someone over something you don’t have a right to, that you’re STEALING, after ATTACKING THIS GUY, is not how good people act.

Beau leave him alone

Seriously

Somehow this was only a minor disaster. So far. If they don’t end up with wanted posters because they’re pirates I will be shocked.

I don’t like anything that Avantica approves of. I don’t trust her.

She knows. She so knows they’re hiding something.

Caleb so cute talking about cats and books

They need to not look right now. They need to put it in the bag and leave it until they get far away from Avantica.

PAPERRRR

The Not There Fairy, cousin to the Metagaming pigeon

Ohhhh Beau you gonna get a tattoo like Molly’s??

Okay… darling… but maybe not an eye though that just seems like it’s inviting trouble

“But you know he’s dead” WOW

IT’S THE BARBIE RAPUNZEL PAINTBRUSH

Jester. I’m begging you. Save that paint for when y’all actually need a door.

(Also @Taliesin just tell us all what Molly would think of it please Inquiring Minds want to know)

Let Caduceus have the shield

I hope you all feel like guilty fucks tbh that was just not necessary

Oh no mediocre perception check….

Beau please don’t try sneaking into her office my god that’s a terrible idea

lol Laura you little shit xD

“You should seduce her” and Fjord’s over here like lol right uh sure totally that’s a good idea uhhuh

B: “I think if we don’t do anything, it means your eventual demise.”

F: “Well that’s… fucking dark.”

At least they’re finally thinking and really really realizing how bad things are for them right now.

Cad: “If we want to find the ship I think I can help.”

F: “With the seducing?!”

Cad: “What…? no!”

Beau really wants to seduce Avantica.

Caduceus with his naps. He is me.

Fjord and Caleb conference! It’s been a while.

MMMM I LIKE THIS

“Have you ever sacrificed anything to achieve a greater goal?” OHHH FJORD IF YOU ONLY KNEW

Talking about Papa Widogast

“I have tried to live up to the man that he was, and I have… largely failed, but I picked up what I could.” IT’S FINE IM NOT CRYING (yeah i am).

“I think traveling with all of you has emboldened me some. I was alone for a long time. And I… I like this group. I like traveling with you, Fjord.”

Okay Fjord what are you trying to get at now?

FJORD TRUSTING CALEB TO WATCH HIS BACK WITH AVANTICA my heart

oh.

“can i count on you to… right the ship, if need be?”

oh i don’t like the sound of that at all.

I don’t like this conversation

What is Fjord asking? That Caleb take him out if need be? That he makes sure the group gets out if Avantica manages to kill Fjord?

THE TRAVELER

I don’t trust him at all

J: “We’re pirates”

TT: “I know. :)”

TT: “That seed of chaos” DO NOT LIKE

“Well there are many different enchantments—“ RED FLAG RED FLAG BIG RED FLAG

he’s such a creep i hate him someone protect jester from him

he has literally gotten more and more creepy every fucking time

this is absolutely a sinister voice Matt is using too

“Preferably where it will be the least expected… and the creepiest to find” okay that was kinda funny

“the time is coming soon when you will meet the rest of your brethren” DO NOT LIKE

Like I’m not sure he’s EVIL but he creeps me out and I don’t like him

Fjord dream Fjord dream Fjord dream

Fjord dreaming about them bare naked ladies.

From ocean to sky to ocean again.

I don’t think I like this.

Watching, learn, reward.

Nope don’t like.

Smart move grabbing the map

But shit, did Avantica see the same place? If she was in the dream too I bet she did.

Nott, my darling, can you not

LOL

MATT YOU TRICKSTER

a handful of pepper made into a pepper bolt

“The Revelry” oh lord it’s a pirate colony with a court of captains or something isn’t it. Like in PotC3.

Or like Tortuga.

“The Plank King” I KNEW IT

pirate court

Avantica is absolutely gonna challenge the Plank King?

“Welcome to Dark Town” thanks Matt

I’m loving all this history/lore stuff Matt is so good at this kind of thing.

“Takes some notes” I do NOT like that

Poor Orli and the crew.

I thought for sure Avantica was gonna stab Gimati.

Caduceus really wanted to have some Words with Gimati.

B: “Marius the Mariner…. LePua…. LePain….?”

Cad: “That was really good, do me! :D”

B: “Caduceus the… Juices…?”

Listen, Fjord, guys, you owe these people. You hired them and then dragged them into SO MUCH SHIT you didn’t tell them about. And you can’t just leave them here, or refuse to pay them

Like you hired all these people and dragged them into your shit and now you're like "you can keep working for no extra money or you can stay here on pirate island" wow Fjord I’m massively unimpressed. Like I know the whole moral leanings of the whole group have been shifty but come on. This is really not cool.

“By the way, you guys are members of the Revelry.”

So first they joined a crime lord's syndicate and now they joined a pirate gang

*insert faceplam gif here*

Uh-oh…

James Tybalt, assistant to the Plank King

lol Fjord is the worst pirate, forgetting to deal with the money.

As much as I enjoy having a less than perfectly heroic group, I do wish they'd try to be just SLIGHTLY less awful sometimes

Harpy jerky as a gift. I love Nott.

Yasha is very Done with all of this.

Cad: “I serve nature and I’m the maker of fine graves.”

N: “I just love water so much.”

Y: “I like to punch things?”

Hnnn why notes

I’m glad y’all didn’t ALL give them real names

Oh lord, so now if they attack Avantica (and don’t manage to kill her and everyone else) they’ll have the Revelry after them

They’re super doomed

Oh

Oh lord he took the previous king’s hair

Oh man don’t try hitting on Beau

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT he asked Beau to keep an eye on Avantica and to snitch on her

That’s good. That’s a good. They finally have something going for them (as long as Avantica doesn’t find out)

God this night was a continued disaster. But it was super good. Stressful but fun.

“How did this happen?” The question we all want to have answered, Sam.

“Good shit, Matt.” Agreed!!