#hnnnnnnnnnng fuk yeah

[halehavetogosometime]

I feel like it’s harder to get geralt desperate under ordinary circumstances. I imagine witchers have a significantly higher bladder capacity than the average human and geralt mostly manages to relieve himself long before he truly feels he needs to. But he’s also got that lethal combination of pride and a seeming need to do things just because jaskier asked him to so here’s how I can see it going. oh and it’s established relationship because yeah. They’re in love.

  I can honestly see jaskier just straight up asking geralt how long he can hold it, maybe he notices how rarely geralt seems to go or maybe geralt teases him about how often he needs to stop for a break when they’re travelling (often in this case = a totally normal human amount of times) but either way jaskier asks and geralt admits that he legitimately doesn’t know because it’s never got to that point. they let it go for then but the next time they’re travelling in a sparsely populated, low risk area for the day jaskier hints that he’d like to see just how much geralt can hold and geralt, also kind of curious to test the limits of his body in a new way, agrees.

  So geralt drinks and drinks and waits and waits  for hours without any outward indication that he needs to stop and, frankly, jaskier’s starting to feel a little cheated. All this and not even a little squirming?

  Except then geralt does squirm.

  Probably not much, just a slight shifting of his weight, but jaskier’s been waiting ALL. DAY. for this and he is absolutely ready to launch until full Little Shit mode. So he rides up on roach behind geralt with his arms wrapped around his waist in exactly the right place to add to the pressure, he offers him water far, far more times than is reasonable, he stops for a pee break of his own and makes sure to stay well within witcher hearing range while he pisses as loud as possible and sighs in relief (again, loudly) about just how good it feels. At one point he gives up all pretence of subtlety and just straight up improvises and performs a five verse song about running water.

  Now, geralt’s obviously well aware of what jaskier’s doing but, unfortunately, awareness does not equal immunity and he’s starting to find it a little difficult to focus on anything except how full his bladder feels and he’s definitely beyond the point where he normally would have stopped to relieve himself so he grits his teeth and asks when he’s going to be able to go. Jaskier looks at him, suddenly all heat, and tells him he can go whenever he likes. Just as soon as he begs for it. He smiles at geralt and immediately goes back to the loud debate he was having with himself about whether he prefers ‘flowing’ or ‘gushing’ for the third verse of his ode to waterfalls. So. Oh. It’s like that.

  So now geralt has to make a choice: is he going to actually beg his bard to let him take a piss or is he going to…what? Just wet himself? Or refuse to beg but go anyway, which would be as good as admitting that he didn’t think he could hold it anymore and he still has his pride here.

  It is jaskier so it’s not like he would, or even really could stop geralt if he actually really didn’t want to go through with it but well……..geralt finds he’s kind of enjoying that aching pressure, that constant awareness of his own body that he normally only gets when he’s taken a potion or he’s in the middle of a fight. And he’s definitely enjoying that hungry way that jaskier’s looking at him and that commanding tone his voice took on. So he waits.

  I imagine he lasts, albeit increasingly restlessly, right up until they’re making camp for the night and jaskier drops to his knees right there and gives him just about the most enthusiastic blowjob he’s ever had. He comes, perhaps embarrassingly fast but then he has been on edge today, and immediately pushes jaskier off, squeezes his eyes shut, clenches his fists by his sides and stands absolutely still, just using every ounce of his strength not to wet himself right there. He opens his eyes, looks at jaskier and grits out please. Jaskier, who is having the best day ever, just nods in the direction of the nearest tree and watches his witcher literally moan his way through the loudest, longest piss he’s seen anyone take in his entire fucking life.

  Geralt comes back to jaskier and suggests, in that hesitant way he has when he enjoyed something but isn’t quite sure he was supposed to yet, that he wouldn’t be opposed to trying that again some time and interrupts jaskier’s very enthusiastic agreement by returning the blowjob favour.

  And then they share a bedroll for the night because they both sleep better when they’re pressed up against each other and I’m soft

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Nonny, I am ded. Hell FUCKING yes, God, how have I earned this in my inbox. Nonny, this is some Excellent 👌👌👌👌👌 shit right here, and your prose is fab. A++

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thank u for entrusting me with this !!!!!!!!!!!