#honestly i dont know why i just got this wave of nostalgia for some reason

[bbq-potato-chip]

kind of want to rewatch cowboy bebop

[videostak]

didnt end up watching lovers live cause i ended up watchig almost famous w/ my sister it was alright u kno like meh one of those 70s nostalgia movies that kinda annoy me. like that and dazed n confused type stuff rly annoy me. philip seymour hoffman as lester bangs was v cool tho lol. like idk felt appropriate casting. the rest of the movie was like alright not bad but u kno it bieng autobiographical makes u kinda want more but also knowing that its restrained a lot by being a safe type autobiographical movie u kno. wathcing it tho makes me think abt my life and music and where i should be or where i should go hmmm. like that record store just straight up hired me w/ no experience or anything just cause ppl here have such dogshit taste that the stuff i was selling made me seem really cultured lol. and i dont even kno if ill be able to get a job at the store downtown cause i realized that i probably didnt get it the first time cause theres like. no contemporary music i listen to. I just theres nothing i feel worht listening toooo idk stuff ill be like oh tahts cool but really think they didnt give it to me back then cause like i didnt say much abt new music and to be bleak abt the current music scene would def be a red flag for them like to be truthful lol. like that and i listed tons of freakout shit like brotzmann no wave  minimalism etc lolll. thought like itd make me look real smart but realized it just made them think to not put me behind the register lol. anyways thats prooobably why i didnt get it tho honestly they couldve just already decided not to give it to me from the start since it was a interview i got from a ex friends friend so like couldve just all been a formality. another reason is i had mentioned recently getting the stones first album on cd and the interviewer wass like “u just started listening to the stones?” and i was like ya basically LOL so that also probably cost me the job lol... which is funny cause now im like a huge rolling stnes fan tbh like just rly totally understand why theyre as popilar as they are and like v much will praise the stones over stuff like led zeppelin n stuff lol wel i guuess that isnt sayying tooo much since i rly have a tolerate/hate relationship w/ music like zep and who. anyways if i do apply again im gonna try to list new artists even if its shit i dont actually listen to like honestly rn just thinking ummm harry styles,tennis,beach house,black midi, death grips, sophie, maybe some more. of the ones there i only actually have listenend to tennis black midi death grips and sophie. but gotta have a list like that just so they think i listen to contemporary stuff even tho i dont :P just like b4 i thought there were nice bands and there are nice artists like sophie for sure is up there but like kinda become disenchanted w/ so many modern groups just knowing who theyre shamelessly ripping off u kno like every modern indie artist doing a stephen malkmus type voice/delivery or sounding like a bad cocteau twins parody or like if mbv were muzak. u knooooo. but i obv cant say that cause like. the new stuff is what sells and what they have to be savvy on since its like u kno theyre selling that new. wiiiish i could be in some positiion where i could state my opinion and get paid and be honest and ppl respect me. i guess thats the point of a journalist but obv writing articles abt how much shit sucks and why u should only listen to real artists like the stooges or the nutty squirrels and stuff w/ real deep actual depth that are actually saying/doing something like the b52s or cluster isnt something that is like contemporary -_- liiike idk just need tooo make some money i guess but i think its insane when ppl acknowledge my personality and opinions so im like i should exist on that alone lol. even w/in the time that i got rejected for that job ive listened to so much more and could genuinely add more to that list even tho i get into music at a snails pace. like b4 i just put dub on the application but now ive truly heard more reggae and could just list both reggae/dub together instead of just dub. sucks tho appplying knowing they rly dont care abt music or passion and just need someone who knows whats goin on w/ t swift n harry styles T-T they should hire me cause i see visions of god when listening to einstein on the beach very loud and focusing on the flute

[azucanela]

EVERYONE FINDS OUT YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP GENDER NEUTRAL HEADCANNONS + SCENARIO

PAIRING: MIDORIYA IZUKU X GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

REQUEST: hi hi can i request reader and izuku in a really lowkey relationship but then something happens (it can be anything i dont have a preference!) and somehow the class finds out? i read the fic about katsuki, shinsou, and shoto and i wanted a scenario like that but with midoriya hehe :) have a great day and remember to stay hydrated!

WARNINGS: NONE.

A/N: ah nostalgia, sorry this is a tad short!

BNHA MASTERLIST — VOLUME 1

HEADCANNONS

the only real explanation for this that i can think of is the fact that izuku and pda DO NOT mix. if you touch him in public in any way, he may or may not pass out in shock, it’s really a hit or miss.

it’s not like he doesn’t APPRECIATE pda, it’s just that he’s really secure in his relationship with you and he’s not really the jealous type! he knows you wouldn’t cheat and trusts you wholeheartedly so there’s no reason in his mind that he would actively engage in something that may cause him to embarrass himself

especially not when you guys can save affection for private spaces!

regardless, i just think that the only way something like this could happen, where you inadvertently reveal your relationship that you were not trying to hide, is if you initiated it, unintentionally or not.

or maybe izuku does get a little bit jealous. but he isn’t going to go all out or anything and start making out with you in front of the offending party, just... more pda than normal. but it’s more likely that you’re the jealous one because like i said, izuku our darling boy, is secure and content with you. 

i can also see him offhandedly mentioning how you guys went on a date and everyone is like “wHaT.” 

because they’re like “wow! they’re finally together!” 

and then izuku is like “haha what, we’ve been together a while now?”

everyone just freezes, and for a second izuku thinks he is about to get murdered by all his friends for some reason

he is honestly confused by the fact that none of them knew, bakugou is probably lowkey upset he couldn’t just tell because ??? he’s known deku for HOW LONG but like bakugou WILL pretend he knew the whole time. this is factual

izuku will probably feel bad, but you probably knew nobody was aware and are out here cackling and pretending to be none the wiser that they were oblivious to your relationship

SCENARIO

There’s a smile on Izuku’s face as he sits in the common room of the UA dormitories. A glass of water in his hand as he catches Y/N’s eyes in the kitchen, only for them to wink at him, causing his cheeks to flush as he quickly averts his eyes.

“Are you alright, Midoriya?” Todoroki asks, brow raised slightly as his eyes drift back towards Y/N, who had taken to helping Bakugou cut some fruit for the class— though Bakugou claimed the fruit was only for himself there was already far too much for that to be true.

Izuku’s eyes quickly return to the group before him, along with his attention as he laughs awkwardly before nodding, “yeah!” He exclaims, “I’m fine. Just—” A nervous laugh escapes him once more as he gestures to Y/N, “Y/N.” 

Ah yes, the group knew well of Izuku’s crush on Y/N, his very obvious and desperate crush on them. It was becoming a bit too painful to watch. Which is why they all exchanged looks, Denki and Kirishima grimacing as they met eyes before turning back to Izuku. “You know, Midoriya, buddy. Have you tried talking to them?” Comes Denki’s question.

Izuku looks to him puzzled as Kirishima nods in agreement, “it would be rather manly to talk to them about your feelings.”

Shaking his head, Izuku waves them off, “I do talk to them? Actually this weekend we were talking about how—”

“This weekend?” Uraraka asks, tilting her head at him in confusion. 

Beaming, Izuku quickly nods as he explains, “we went to get dinner—”

“Did you take them on a date? That sounds like a date.” Kirishima looks to Denki, “that’s a date right? That’s so manly, you finally got a date!” He exclaims, smiling at his friend as he begins to rapidly hit Kaminari’s arm in the midst of his excitement. 

At their words, Izuku’s brows furrow, “finally? Y/N and I have gone on several dates.” 

The room seems to go silent for a moment, and coincidentally, Y/N enters with a tray of fruit alongside Bakugo, before they looks to their peers and ask, “what’s going on?”

Evidently, this is a mistake as the room explodes with noise. 

“Dates?”

“Are you guys DATING?” 

“How long has this been going on, Midoriya?”

[uniformbravo]

ramblin abt my ocs (a lot)

i think im starting to care abt my ocs again, which is good bc it seems like every time i go hard in a fandom for a while i get extremely apathetic abt my own characters (bc the ones im obsessed w/ at the time seem to outshine them in every conceivable way and make them look painfully boring in comparison), so im glad the current wave of those feelings is finally starting to wear off bc god

anyway i’ve been thinking about some old ocs lately (like from when i was 13/14) and i wanted to look into them some more so i pulled out the notebook that had their story, which was coincidentally the one that silan & sythra are originally from and wow it turns out there was actually a legit explanation for their alternate eye colors?? 

i know i’ve gone back to find this story before too (quite recently actually) so idk why i didn’t already know this, i think i literally just keep forgetting every time fkdfksjd

tbh it’s probably because it doesn’t apply anymore because ok their original story had a whole cast of characters with super powers (i’ve talked abt it a little before), and originally their Thing was that they could read each other’s minds, which is kind of still how they work now but the other thing they could do was share their literal sight? here’s the actual description from the story

If they are apart, they can do something called sight division, where they can choose to see what the other is seeing. It’s like because their eyes are opposite colors, they can match their missing eye with the other’s and share the sight.

like it makes sense and it’s a pretty cool idea tbh? and idk how i forgot about it but somewhere down the line their psychic relationship developed past the point of something like sight division even being necessary, like

in may 16th, the story i transferred them to after this, the link’s concept changed from simply being able to read each other’s minds to being a constant connection between them- it’s not a conscious decision they make to “read” what the other is thinking, they’re just always there in each other’s heads, aware of what is happening with the other person at all times 

but even then the story would often have them mentally speaking full sentences to each other as a means of communication, whereas now it’s evolved even further past that; the current idea is that they are two separate entities that share the same mind space, constantly influencing and being influenced by each other’s thoughts, feelings, natures and personalities to the point that the line between the two of them distinguishing who’s who would be more accurately described as a gradient

so the concept of “sight division” has been rendered completely obsolete at this point because why would they need to share their sight when they literally know exactly what is happening with the other person at every waking moment of their connected lives

the reason for their eye colors became merely symbolic at some point between the original story and may 16th (i probably just forgot about the sight division & didn’t ever go back to check tbh) and the idea i’ve had ever since was that it was just a physical manifestation of their mental link; sythra’s eyes are originally blue and silan’s are originally brown, but because of the connection it’s like they have a little piece of each other within them, ergo the switching of their left eyes

that’s the explanation i’ve been using this whole time & i thought that’s how it always was, so reading the original concept kind of blew my mind & made me a little sad that i can’t use it anymore bc honestly??? good post op

anyway i rly want to do more with silan & sythra bc i feel like they have a lot of potential and i’ve had some cool ideas for them in the past, so maybe i’ll develop those more hmmm

i think i’d have to migrate them into another story separate from may 16th to really explore them, though. which is kind of a scary thought because may 16th is my baby, but. i think that time in my life has passed and it’s time to do something Bigger with these characters, because at this point they deserve so much more than Shitty High School Romance In Which Sythra Is Pretty Much Shoved To The Side To Make Room For The Main Relationship Plotline Where The Most Mediocre Dude Ever Shows Up & Steals Silan’s Heart By Being A Complete Dick To Him Wow (But Like, A Handsome Dick)

and ok that’s being a little harsh because that’s only the original draft- i’ve been salvaging it & rearranging it to make it leagues better, but the thing is, in the process i’ve only come to realize that it needs to become something bigger; my ideas are evolving it past that original high school romance setting, and while that setting will always hold a special place in my heart, i want to let this story and these characters breathe and grow to their full potential instead of caging them with nostalgia, you know? i think i’ll remember may 16th as the high school romance au, that is how it will live on in my heart

god i dont even know what i would do with chris in a new story though?? he is Truly the most mediocre and the only reason he was a prominent character in may 16th was because of his relationship with silan; if we’re gonna take that relationship away though then what is he even here for. his motivations include 1. Playing Sport and 2. Ignoring Every Emotion Especially The Gay Ones like god what an uninspired character what am i supposed to do with him. i mean i have been working on him lately but deep down i really do think he’s a boring character and i probably care about him the least out of all my main ocs hgjdgkdjksdg I FEEL BAD BUT

literally the only thing that has ever made him interesting to me is his relationship with silan like he has a fun dynamic with him and pretty decent development as a result of his interaction with him but as soon as he’s on his own he’s just sUch a boring character im snoring i need to fix chris somebody save him (read: me)

that’s the big problem here, i think. if im going to transfer these characters into a new story that’ll focus primarily on silan and sythra (or at least a lot more than may 16th did), chris would just be a huge distraction like he was in may 16th; if silan is what makes him interesting then he’ll just end up immediately latching onto silan and stealing the focus away from sythra bc chris only exists to be with silan, right. so the options im looking at here are 

omit chris completely because he’d just be an unnecessary dead weight on the story or

find another purpose for him, give him new depth that doesn’t conform to a romance, reinvent him as a compelling standalone character who could fit right into any given setting- discover what defines him and build on it until he feels like he could be his own protagonist

....obviously one of these requires a lot more energy & dedication but. i cant just abandon my boy. my dumbass mediocre af shit boy

aaaaaanyway i’ve definitely gone on for way too long Oops i didnt mean to shit on chris for so many paragraphs hghdghsdgdj but im kinda glad i did bc that was smth i really needed to admit & come to that conclusion so That’s Cool. if anything u at least got to see a bit of what my brainstorming documents usually look like (theyre a mess)

but uhh ya Cool Glad We Could Have This Talk

[tumblunni]

Baron omatsuri and the secret island traumatizes me yet again, hooray!

Ok wow that was a nostalgia blast! Finally goddamn have a physical copy of this thing to own. Its never been dubbed and the only way to get it was this weird manga UK licensed reprint of a bunch of (i think) hong kong english subtitles. The style of the subtitles looks like that, at least. Its all weird and grainy and very very old fashioned early days of subtitling style, which contrasts completely with the modern dvd menus and box and stuff. And its also a weird combination disc of four different movies, it seems they just bought out a licensing package deal or something? And just baked it onto the disc without checking or editing anything. Its not really a funny sort of bad subtitles though, its just awkward phrasings of thibgs that are hard to understand or random typos or whatever, no legendarily hilarious stuff. I kinda dislike it more when subtitles are like this, when theyre like...actually written by a guy who speaks fluent english but he just never watched the actual movie so theres a bunch of rookie mistakes. Also has a strange case of what you usually only see on fansubs- the obsession with leaving everything in japanese to Sound Cool. Nah we cant call them the Tea Party Pirates we have to say the japanese word for that. Nah we cant have this man say mustache when he's doing the mustache pose and talking about his crew of entirely mustache men who all do this mustache pose NO it has to be Chobehige because its somehow deep and edgy to not understand the word for mustache. Like i feel if i was watching this sub first i would have no idea what was happening! At least its not as bad as that older sub i saw where they insisted on translating friends as "crew", even when it was llike..a singular. This one man is my crew and here are all my other crews! Like i feel like that subber probably originally did that dumb old fandom thing of INSISTING that you had to say Nakama in japanese and Capitalized and it was a Very Important japanese word for specifically pirate friends that was Impossible To Translate. And then they just did a ctrl + F replace on the whole thing and made an incomprehensible mess. Also for some reason sanji just yells DOCTOR out of nowhere (chopper wasnt even in the scene) and baron omatsuri's one syllable "oh" is translated as some long string of what seems to be baseball jargon..?

But ANYWAY the movie is still fuckin awesome and i actually noticed EVEN MORE dark shit and subtle storytelling that i missed when i was a kid! The whole 'small child zombie stares blankly at the place where a sword stabbed through his chest and cant understand why he got back up' scene is EVEN MORE emotionally destructuve than i thought! Cos the subtlety of the voiceacting seems to make the poor kid sound so tired and resigned to it? He's desperately asking and his father figure feeds him the same old lies he's done a million times about how he's totally still alive and everything is fine. Like wow i missed that inplication that this has happened before! And then he kinda sounds like he's actually aware that Baron is lying and he's just pretending to believe him to make him feel better. And then he starts turning back into a corpse and he doesnt panic like muchigoro or not realize whats happening like the grandpas do. He just looks straight at his hand falling apart and tries to lie to Baron to make him feel better. *long shot of him from behind before you see whats happened* "I'm just feeling dizzy again. I've got used to it." *him staring blankly at his body falling apart, not even capable of feeling sad about it anymore* "Don't worry...i've got used to it." *thud*

Like FUCKING HELL this film is the best damn existential horror thing ever and why the FUCK did they market it as a fun happy kids film? it probably would have been way more successful if the twist wasnt kept all twisty, honestly.

And also WOW YEAH theres a lot of stuff thats the subtlest goddamn storytelling in the universe and youd never notice unless you watched this film a million times like i did! Like during the intro when everythibg still seems all fun and cute and normal, the advert for the Totally Innocent Not A Trap Super Secret Island Resort is being read over some random shots of waves and stuff. But then right near the end you see those same shots again and it becomes clear that it was literally the view from Baron's eyes as he was falling from the ship and drowning, desperately trying to keep his head above water and strain his eyes to see if anyone else had survived. All the moments that just looked like camera cuts were actually when his head fell beneath the waves. Thats fuckin amaizng you straight up showed the ending in the beginning and we didnt notice????

Oh and also right before THE FUCKIN TERRIFYING MUCHIGORO DEATH SCENE you see him casually mention being 'sleepy' a few scenes earlier. It just passes by without notice and you think that he's just drunk until he suddenly starts going from comedic slurring to fucking asphixiating and the SKIN ON HIS FINGERS PEELING OFF. Oh hey! Another thing i didnt notice before! FUCKING THAT. A fun game for you on your rewatch! Looking out to find the secret finger horror! Ha ha ha...ha...

Also MAN OH WOW all the subtle signs of Baron getting more desparate throughout the movie and how it seems the time limit for the zombies was almost up and he had to kill these specific pirates right now because he couldnt spare even a few more hours. In retrospect it makes sense how he was slipping up and leaving evidence for the heroes to figure him out. And its just so subtly offputting and strange how he goes from making a big fun performance about the festival early on and then starts subtky rushing through the formalities faster. Like you dont eveb conciously notice the tone is changing until suddenly BAM the full change happens and you realise you missed all those signs! And aaaa its so fuckin sad how you see him come running when muchigoro drops dead and he's like fuckin GET OUT OF THE WAY DAMMIT and kneels down next to the body and theb he just..turns emotionless again and goes ITS TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE. It is time. Its now. Shut the fuck up and do it, i dont have time to deal with this shit, just die so i can bring my friend back. (Tho of course you dont know thats why at the time) And then whats most jarring about the whole scene to me is how he's like "okay fuck it theres no more fun theres no more attractions, if youre not gonna play along then the final game is just i shoot your damn head off" WHILE YKNOW STILL STANDING OVER THE CORPSE OF HIS FRIEND AND STARING DAGGERS INTO THEM LIKE ITS THEIR FAULT FOR DARING TO CLING ONTO LIFE and then a fuckin half finished hapoy fun carnival game sign pops up in the backgroubd and everyone walks past it. Why was that somehow both hilarious and terrifying????? Just fuckin 'whoops we had this thing ready to go but alright its murder time i guess' and everyone IS SUDDENLY PACKING HEAT AND RIDDLING OUR HEROES WITH BULLETS???

And also even more subtly Baron just?? Stays with muchigoro?? Like notice how the entirety of the endgame takes place around where the dude dropped dead. And how when mustache pirate guy saves luffy you see Baron just walking in circles around the same area angrily shooting arrows at nothing in complete desperation even though the dude is gone and itd make more sense to run after him. No he stays standing right there and actually looks really damn relieved when luffy comes back, he's like 'holy shit you really were stupid enough to walk right into my trap jesus christ im so glad but also youre a dumbass'. And he fights entirely using arrows at this point so you might not even notice that he barely walks more than just circling a two meter radius of fuckin DEAD BEST FRIEND CORPSE. Which btw blends intonthe shadows for this entire scene and they only draw attention it again after Baron wibs and muchigoro comes back to life. And UGH MY HEART you see him smile genuinely for the firstvtime and he's like 'im so glad youre okay' and muchigoro is like 'haha im more than okay i can do somersaults!' and generally being a FUCKING TREASURE and this poor fuckin horrible evil man is hugging his buddy and gently leading him away from the battlefield so he doesnt norice he was just fuckin murdering some dudes to ressurect him. God the scariest damn thing about this film is how the zombies dont know theyre zombies and honestky they probably wouldnt even agree with their boss's plan to kill people to keep them alive. They justvthink they live a perfectly normal happy life on hapoy festival island, and he wants them to stay that way and never feel pain again :(

Aaaaand then yeah the infamous scene of revealing this horrifying intestines flower is growing out of the flesh on his back and all the corpses its digesting are pushed against the undulating flesh of its throat like a snake devouring its prey. And its cutesy fake flower face grows infinate eyes as it just keeps laughing and laughing. And then it gets graphically blown apart and the poor goddamn parasite host tries to shove the bloody instestines back into its body, knowing that without this horrifying monster chewing on his goddamn veins all his friends will go back to being dead.

THE END

THE FUCKING END

God it ends so abruptly seriously

I still cry my eyes out every time at the ending monologue of Baron dying and meeting all the souls of his dead friends and theyre crying telling him he shouldnt be here, they wish he'd been able to find another reason to live without him...

And then THE END

JAUNTY MUSIC OVER THE CREDITS

THE FUCKIN END I GUESS

What a great but very oddly executed movie. Seriously i feel it could have worked better if it was given space to breathe and more deeply explore the dark themes rather than the weirdness of trying to fool the audience into thinking it was cheerful and innocent. Like all of this shit happens in the last 30 minutes of the movie! They spend 60 minutes on the fun carnival games! What a strange sense of priorities!!

I WOULD DEVOUR A MILLION HOURS MORE OF DEEP SAD ZOMBIE CONTENT

I am like the Lily of fanfics

Oh yeah btw the horrifying deadly elder god spine parasite thing is named Lily and it looks pretty much exactly like flowey from undertale. This film kinda spoiled me for that game LOL ive never trusted a single talking flower ever since!