#honestly parts of the gospel story still resonate with me as a story about god

[shoutsindwarvish]

i’m not christian anymore and haven’t been in years but simon peter is always going to be important to me

like that post about putting a character in your back pocket when leaving a fandom

[hobbitsetal]

how do you share the gospel with people our age/young adults? saying "Jesus loves you and wants a relationship with you" is probably just going to make them laugh and roll their eyes. how in the world do you evangelize nowadays?

Honestly? You evangelize by addressing problems with theology and by being part of their lives.

Let’s talk about theology first. What are the problems young adults are grappling with? We face uncertainty in every aspect of our lives, we face global injustice in a variety of ways and places, we face systemic racism and hatred. What does the gospel offer? What does God offer?

For one thing, He wrote the history of the world before the world existed. What is uncertainty to a God Who predicted major world events centuries before they happened? What is uncertainty to a God Who knows humanity inside and out? The Bible depicts people, and the stories, commands, and poetry resonate as much today as when they were written.

He is a God of justice, and He is a God Who does not look on the outside. Over and over through the Bible, the Lord subverts human expectations and customs. Over and over, He fights for the marginalized, the oppressed, the shunned. The weak--the women, children, disabled--are His special concern, and He makes them our special concern.

That’s powerful. I cannot think of any other god that can claim to know humanity so intimately, so compassionately, so perfectly, and so justly. And He became one of us! He does not merely look down from on high, He joined us. He can say “yeah, I know what hunger feels like. I know loneliness, depression, anxiety, fear, joy, sorrow. I have felt them Myself.”

The gospel is not “Jesus loves you.” The gospel is “Jesus is the rightful King of the universe, Who proved His immense worth and justice and mercy and love by living among us perfectly, dying sinlessly, and rising from the dead to reign at the right hand of the Father.

~~~

But how do you get to the point of discussing these problems? And what about the personal problems: the messy family dynamics, the personal insecurities, the ups and downs of life?

Relationships.

Movie nights, dinners, hiking trips, grabbing groceries for each other. Life. When you make people part of your life, they make you part of theirs. When you’re (forgive the buzzword) real with each other, you have opportunities that surface-level street preaching doesn’t afford.

I’m not knocking street preaching at all! It can be a wonderful conversation starter! But discipleship and gospel living is a day in and day out thing.

This idea isn’t mine. I picked it up from Rosaria Butterfield’s “The Gospel Comes with a House Key,” in which she advocates sharing life with neighbors as the most practical way to live out the gospel. I can attest personally to the worth of this mindset.

My neighbor is gay. She knows we believe that’s a sin, she accepts our point of view, yet we’re friends. She barges into my apartment when she wants chocolate, we walk her dogs for her, she takes me out for coffee and bookshop dates...and she talks about philosophical problems and spiritual questions with me and my husband. We have so many opportunities to talk about the practical implications of the gospel with her because we’re friends. I know about the woman she loves; she spent last Christmas with my family.

I don’t know if she’ll be saved. I’m praying she will. But that’s between her and God. In the meantime, I’m evangelizing every time I say, “Hey, come over for dinner.”

~~~

While 1 Peter 3 is talking overall about how to conduct ourselves under persecution, I think verse 15 is applicable to life overall: “in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect...”

Why do I love my neighbor? Why am I invested in BLM and the state of the world? Why am I still friends with my sister’s ex? Because Christ died for me. Because Christ is the King of the Universe and He commands me to live with love.

Because God is love, and I am the child of God.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and body, and...love your neighbor as yourself.”

Be friends. Speak truth. Cry with them, laugh with them, watch movies with them. And when you don’t have an answer, say that, and then study up on their questions. Be invested.

Christ lived 33 years answering questions and sharing life. I think it’s a pretty good evangelistic model.

[wanna-b-poet31]

A Mini Meta: What’s In A Name? (1.5/?)

So Like, I do a bunch of research for my metas and in pursuit of this one, I’ve had to learn wayyyy too much about each character’s name and meanings/origins. But because there’s no real place for me to put them in my planned metas, and I still have all this information to info-dump, here it is! A master list of all the character’s >probable< meanings. Consider this a Mini-Meta. 

Find Part 1 Here: (X)

Our Ineffable Duo

Aziraphale:

Note: Azrael, a possible interpretation of his name, means “one who God helps” and is often attributed to the Angel of Death.  

Anthony J. Crowley:

The elephant in the room with Crowley is “Crawley” and all I’m going to say about it is that Crowley’s right, it’s too “crawling on the ground-y sounding”.

Anthony, on the other hand, means “of inestimable worth”, which I feel is a good balance to his deadname. Crowley deserves this and every ego boost. Someone give him a hug.

The name “Crowley”’s meaning is at most Gaelic for heroic, although from a demonic standpoint, there is also no one-for-one model. There is an Aleister Crowley but he’s a real person who is known as the “evilest man to ever live” or some such moniker. But there is no connection between the demon and the person. I’d even argue that by giving himself a “J”  Crowley puts distance between himself and Aleister.

Note: Although Supernatural also sports a “Crowley” character, Good Omens predates the TV-Show and so no connection can honestly be made.

The Them

Adam Young:

Adam’s name has many significant implications beyond just sharing it with the first man and first person to leave Eden. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell ya’ll that in Akkadian, the word stems from the word “Adamu” which translates to “to make”. And I find this phenomenally relevant to his naming and unnaming powers.

Pippin “Pepper” Moonchild:

I have SOOOO much to say about the implications of nicknames, but for this mini-meta, I’ll just leave you with this: Pippin loosely means foreigner, and while that doesn’t really connect with her character much, neither does the name Pippin so I feel that works.

Pepper, however, simply means “berry”, but I think on a much more literal level the name “Pepper” refers to her firey and passionate sensibilities.

Brian I-Couldn’t-Find-A-Last-Name:

Brian loosely means “noble one” and given he’s ready to throw down against even his best friend if it meant saving the world and standing up to an all-powerful 11-year-old with immeasurable supernatural abilities with a crow-bar. I’d call that pretty noble.

Jeremy Wensleydale:

This name took an outrageous amount to time for me to research. I’m not touching Jeremy, because literally, no one calls him it, it has no power over him. Wensleydale, however, refers to a real place in England, apparently, they’re known for their cheeses. Here, “dale” refers to a town and “Wensley” is valley named after the god “Woden” AKA Odin, AKA Norse god of wisdom and culture and war. Which Idk how closely he’s related to Odin, I do think the wisdom and class resonate with Wensleydale’s character. Of all the Them, he’s the most bookish, and most overt with his love of books.

The Angels

Michael:

Literally means “Who is like God” in Hebrew, and is the only named Archangel in the Bible. I find it interesting that this name is meant to be a rhetorical question, meaning no one is like God. However, Heaven clearly has, let’s say, ignored this question and ruled as if they are God.

Gabriel:

God’s Messanger, whose name means “God is my strength”, which, I think he takes to an extreme. Yes, he clearly gets his power from his belief God has ordained a war he will win, but more than that, he also seems convinced that all of his >abusive< actions are blessed by God, despite the series making it very clear, she isn’t talking to anyone.

Uriel:

“God is My Light”.  Like Gabriel, I find this name infinitely amusing because yes, Uriel has a fiery personality like Pepper, short-tempered, and ready for a fight, little they do is actually from the mouth of God. Uriel is also closely associated with Noah’s Ark, reportedly being the angel who warns Noah and his family of the impending flood. Although we can’t know if they did or did not question killing the kids like Crowley and Aziraphale did, as it wasn’t on screen, based on their other actions, I’m gonna say no.

Sandalphon:

Note: It’s interesting that his name is wholly dependent on the existence of “brothers” and implies he serves as a mirroring character...of whom idk yet.

Metatron:

Although MANY theologians have argued over the meaning of this name, the most popular definition means “beside the throne”, and refers to the person next to God’s Throne. This works well as he is shown to be the mediator between God’s word and the Angels. This is less good because he clearly hasn’t talked to, or isn’t willing to let others talk to God.

The Demons

Ligur:

So, Ligur is not a canonical demon. Consequently, his name has no set meaning. He’s not a “real” demon with a 1-for-1 equivalent floating through Hell. My best guess is that it’s a reference to a Chuthulu Mythological Race “Lloigor” which is known for being invisible, but when they do show themselves, are distinctly reptilic. Which, I think vibes well with the chameleon on top of his head.  

Hastur:

Note: A strict etymological breakdown of the name is associated with “chaos” and is meant to denote one who revels in destruction for destruction’s sake. It’s also very fitting for Hastur, given his desire to cause fiery chaos.  Like Metatron, there are many interpretations you can find here: (x).

Beelzebub:

Note: Beelzebub is a real demon with a fascinating mythos you can read more about here (x). Seriously, ya’ll I have a million citations, please hmu if you want more info.

Note 2: Also! Also! Also, Beezlebub makes an appearance in Lovecraftian stories and Chuthulu mythos.

Dagon:

Note: Dagon makes a few appearances in Lovecraft’s work...there’s a short story called “Dagon”... and while they’re often not included in the Chuthulu mythos, the short story “Dagon” is the first to introduce Chuthulu-like elements...so? #canon in my eyes.  

The Humans

Anathema Device:

Anathema is pretty straight forward. The name refers to someone who is detested or shunned. But more Bible-related-y Anathema refers either to something that was consecrated or to someone denounced as evil or accursed and therefore set aside for sacrificial offering. Which, is pretty much the role of Anathema. Her family has chosen to sacrifice her and her freedom in exchange to stop the end of the world. While I wouldn’t call her evil or cursed, she is definitely detested (as a witch) by the Witchfinders and Adultery Pulsifer.  

Agnes Nutter:

Alternatively: Agnes Sampson was a Scottish healer and purported witch known as the "Wise Wife of Keith". Sampson was burned in the North Berwick witch trials.

Alternatively: Agnes Waterhouse was the first person executed for witchcraft in England (1566). However, she was hanged, not burned like Sampson and Nutter.

Newton Pulsifer:

Like the character himself, Newton’s name is pretty unremarkable. It means “New Town”. Not much depth to his name. However, a “Newt” does have some religious imagery attached to its name. It supposedly symbolizes rebirth and renewal, which flows with his character arc.

Madame Tracy:

Tracy refers to “Warrior” and can sometimes mean “superior to” and “more powerful”. All of these seem to fit with a woman willing to share her body with an Angel and stand at the end of the world without flinching. Also, she clearly overrode Aziraphale’s choice to shoot a child and refused to do something she couldn’t and wouldn’t do. she’s a badass.  

Shadwell:

Shadwell means a shallow spring, but it is also a place in West London. Given Shadwell’s naming strategies I’d actually not be too surprised if he just named himself after a street name he saw. He’s not too creative.

Warlock Dowling:

Warlock means “Deceiver” and like if that’s not his life story. Through no real fault of his own, he spends the first 11 years of his life as the prophecized Anti-Christ by Heaven, Hell, and our ineffable Duo. I suppose you could say he deceived them, but really, I think it’s hilariously on the nose as he’s the not-Anti-Christ.

Harriet Dowling:

Harriet is of French origin, and means “estate ruler” and as the diplomat’s wife, I think it’s fair to say she rules the huge estate we see in the series.  

Thaddeus Dowling:

Thaddeus is likely Greek meaning “heart” and surprisingly (maybe only to me) in the Gospel of Matthew, appears as one of the apostles, although later in the Gospel the name “Jude” is also mentioned, and likely is referencing the same person.  

Sister Mary Loquacious:

“Mary” often translates to beloved or rebellious, while Loquacious refers to “talkative” which, man. I kinda love it, because she’s one of the characters who not only talks alot (relative to her short time on-screen) but also is a sweetheart.

Diedre Young:

Diedre is a young Gaelic princess who died of a broken heart, although its etymology could also just mean “young girl”.  Little is relevant to the larger arching story.

Arthur Young:

“Arthur” is Celtic for King, and legends from the round table (and some references from Ep. 3) aside, little about his name seems relevant to the story.

[androgyne-acolyte]

The Radical Queer Gospel

(My first try at a sermon, for Pride Sunday 2019. You can also listen on Soundcloud.)

Why do we need a Pride Sunday? Especially in June? [Note: our local Pride festival is held in July.]

Because there is still a great lie that queer people — LGBTQ+ people — and Christians can’t get along.

I’ve had people on the internet tell me that my decision to go into ministry as a genderqueer person is worthless, because “the belief system of some two-thousand-year-old desert tribe didn’t care about being nice to gay people”. We routinely get messages telling us our church sign is wrong.

Anyone can spout talking points about this; but wisdom is vindicated by her deeds. [cf. Matthew 11:19]

I’m going to tell you about Jesus today; how he lived, and what he taught. For me, there is something powerfully relatable about the shape of Jesus’ life; not just as a person of faith, but as a queer person. I want to talk about how Jesus’ story resembles, in many ways, nothing so much as a queer life — with all the upheaval, scandal, and confounding of expectations that implies.

I’m certainly not saying that Jesus was gay, or trans, or intersex. Queer is a more expansive term than that, and is a much more immediately transgressive term; it’s a term, quite honestly, that is still very much connected to its origins as a term of abuse. While it can refer to anyone who experiences homophobia or transphobia, it carries with it a connotation of a way of being that goes against the grain; a state of being not quite one thing and not quite another.

But, fair warning: its use is sometimes quite contentious, even discouraged, within the wider LGBTQ+ community, especially when used by people who would not consider themselves “queer”. I’m using it today, however, because I’m speaking from my own point of view.

Jesus is born as an ordinary peasant, the son of a teenage mother and a carpenter — you know the story. He lives under military occupation by the Roman Empire, which has annexed all the best land; demands punitive taxes to build palaces in fortified seaport towns; has taken over the Jerusalem Temple, hiring and firing high priests at will, and doesn’t hesitate to violently crush any sign of dissent.

But as Jesus grows up, he starts to realize that he is called to be something different, something that will disturb the very fabric of the society that he lives in. He finds community through John the Baptist, a strange, wild figure who has quite a following, mostly among the more downtrodden parts of society — and through John he gets initiated into a new kind of life, a new way of being.

Then, Jesus begins to get noticed. Imagine the young Jesus, certainly no older than I am now, speaking in the synagogues all across the countryside of Galilee. And when he gets to his hometown of Nazareth, he stands in front of all his family and friends and begins to read from the scroll of the prophet Isaiah:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives … to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.” … The eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. Then he began to say to them, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” (Luke 4:18-21)

This reads, to me, like a coming-out narrative. Because Jesus immediately follows up this seemingly empowering message with a bunch of uncomfortable truths that they don’t want to hear — namely, by citing the story of the prophet Elijah to make the point that God works from the margins of society, and plants the seeds of prophecy and change from the bottom up. “No prophet is accepted in their own country,” declares Jesus — and the congregation who had just minutes before said “Wow! This kid is going places! Joseph, isn’t this your son?” turn around and try to run him out of town.

There is something else here that the gospels aren’t quite obvious about. Jesus is giving up his place in the family structure that bound Judean culture together; striking out on his own, all the way to the raggedy edge — to share his message of healing and justice and resilience in the face of Roman occupation with those whom his people would have considered foreigners and outcasts.

It’s almost certain that Joseph assumed that Jesus would come of age and take on his father’s trade, inheriting his tools and going to work as a day labourer in Roman construction projects. All of a sudden, that’s not going to happen — because Jesus has fallen in with a very strange crowd; he’s been influenced by these people, and has come back home full of uncanny zeal and radical ideas.

I can imagine all too well the sight of Mary grieving for the image of the son she loved, who she assumed would grow up, settle down, and have children of his own — but all of a sudden he’s someone different; someone or something that can’t quite be contained. I can imagine this all too well because my own mother, my own father, have both gone through this.

But as it turns out, Jesus had discovered — he had understood, had even begun to embody — a kind of love that had never been thought possible; a kind of love that was so radical and so powerful that a lot of folks outright rejected it. The people in power certainly weren’t into it.

This is a kind of story that should absolutely resonate with queer folks like me, because we have a very similar experience — with and through each other. The dawning realization that we are meant for a different kind of life; something which not everyone can understand, but which we suddenly realize is beautiful. That moment when you see someone else, in person or in the media, who embodies an indescribable feeling that you have kept tucked away inside of you for your entire life.

Isn’t it possible that those ordinary semi-literate fishermen, Peter and Andrew and James and John, had a similar experience — seeing something in Jesus that was so powerful, so compelling, that they couldn’t help but respond when he said “follow me”?

We queer people know a kind of love that wrenches us out of the closet and into the sunlight; a kind of love that makes us feel beautiful and strong and valued in a way that no other love has before; a love that opens our hearts to weep at the injustices done to our queer siblings, our trans siblings, our Two-Spirit siblings throughout history;

A love that can make us fearless, so that no catcalling, no misgendering, no homophobic preaching, no gay-bashing, no parental rejection can dissuade us from living out the kind of love to which we are called; the ways of being that upset cultural assumptions and power structures that most of us take as fact.

The love that took root in Jesus’ movement was one that breached walls and broke down borders; that reached across ancient religious schisms — such as the one between the Judeans and the Samaritans, who wouldn’t even speak to each other; that uplifted and empowered women; that extended all the way to the Ethiopian eunuch in the book of Acts — who would have been considered not only foreign, but ritually unacceptable as a person! — to heal and unify and plant the seeds of distributive justice through small, beautiful, subversive actions. And it didn’t stop there.

Near the end of the Gospel of Matthew, some of the Roman-backed chief priests and elders come up to Jesus and start questioning him. But he takes the wind out of their sails by telling them a parable:

“What do you think? A man had two sons [keep in mind that in a lot of Bible stories, the second son is the underdog who comes out on top]; he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ He answered, ‘I will not’; but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, ‘I go, sir’; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the [sex workers] are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.” (Matthew 21:28-31)

(Look at it this way; at least no one can accuse me of not being Bible-based.)

That passage is a proverbial smoking gun; of all the sayings in the Gospels, it’s the one that is still immediately subversive to us today. But it’s true, Jesus explains, because there’s one thing that the most stigmatized, most down-and-out people in society have that the respectable folks who actually obey the traffic laws and run the Temple don’t — and that is, a thirst for hope and meaning and healing, and a reason to imagine that another world is possible.

So, I’ll say it right now: I am not going into ministry to uphold the stability of the mainline church in its current form. I am going into ministry in the hope that I can help make the church into a refuge, where everyone has the opportunity and the tools to heal and thrive and care for one another; where this transformative divine love is as present and as accessible as the air we breathe.

I believe that I am called, among other things, to be a minister to and for my queer and trans siblings, for my radical siblings; to be an instrument of disorientation and reorientation and renewal and healing for the wounds that the church at large has inflicted by confusing white heteronormative Western social conventions with the actual, radical teachings of christianity.

Because how many queer and transgender children have been turned away, just like Jesus was run out of his hometown, by parents and communities and churches who don’t understand them?

I think what Jesus says to his own people later on in the Gospel of Matthew is something he might say to my radical queer siblings, and to the church that has historically rejected them, today:

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children [— your queer and trans and non-binary children —] together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you, desolate.” (Matthew 23:37-38)

Because the great tragedy here is that that vital, transcendent love should have been the church’s stock in trade all along. We, the church, have the capacity and the knowledge to reach back to our radical, counter-cultural roots and throw people a lifeline of meaning and hope and healing in a tempest-tossed world — but in the eyes of far too many, we are still at best a bastion of the status quo.

I’ve connected with some wonderful radical theological people through the internet; one particular person, by the name of Jane Nichols — a remarkable lesbian trans woman who just completed her master’s degree in theology — says it better than I ever could:

[O]ur stance towards exclusionary theology should not be ‘well, actually, if we look in the Bible, we can see that it never actually forbids being gay,’ but instead, ‘how dare [we] presume to limit God’s love? What blasphemous arrogance could have possibly led [us] to where [we ended up]? When did [we] start worshipping [our] own image in place of the Divine?’ (Jane Nichols, Tumblr post, May 2019)

Wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.

Where I have found the Holy Spirit alive and well and pushing the envelope is on the margins of almost every sphere. Most immediately, I encounter it in the deep insight and vulnerability of the women clergy members in my life — and most recently, I have seen it spring to life in the passion and brilliance and vision of the lesbian and queer women clergy with whom I was privileged to commune on the sidelines of the former Maritime Conference.

By the way — Jesus’ story is hardly the only one that’s relatable to queer and trans people like us. The Bible is replete with stories of transformation, of coming into new identity and purpose, even gender-ambiguity, if you know where — and how — to look.

Yes, queer people — LGBTQ+ people — and Christians, followers of Jesus, can and should get along. Yes, queer people can be Christian, and Christians can be queer; and yes, we can and should learn from one another!

Because we have a remarkable common ground — a remarkable birthright:

We are called to go against the grain; to challenge the basic patterns in which our societies operate, and to embrace a new and powerful kind of love;

a love that reshapes the way we think about ourselves, a love that beckons us to healing and renewal, a love that calls us to take action and cry out for justice, a love that is itself a radical way of being; a love that is potentially more beautiful and more life-giving than the power structures of this world are ready to understand.

Amen.

June 2, 2019 — St. Andrew’s United Church, Halifax

[beaujt1313-blog]

FACTS

So these are some facts about me that have to do with me letting everyone know that I am gay. First, here is the message I posted on Facebook once again:

“So... where to start. I have seen so many of these types of messages, personal or broadcast, and in a way, I feel like a cliche. But I don’t mean this to be cliche or passive. I’m honestly just trying to write from the heart while still keeping all of you in mind, as well as myself. Everything I am about to say here comes from my heart and is not in any way meant to offend, hurt, disappoint, invalidate, disgust, or cause any negativity. I am not doing this (especially in such a public manner) for attention or validation, as I feel comfortable with myself and those parts of me (as I continue to work on myself). I am not doing this to be brave or seek support or to put out my political stances or any political or any other type of agenda. But each of you, and the people you might tell about this, is connected to me in one way or another, and I feel it is fair and important to you and to me to let you know this. I write so that I hope people not only understand me more, but don’t misunderstand me or my actions or my future actions. (Wow, a bit melodramatic, no? But it really does all come from my heart). So now after that doozy of a preamble, her goes nothing:

I am gay.

So there is no condition (and as I think of what I’m writing, it sounds really patronizing to me, but I do not mean to patronize in any way, just to be clear), that means that am a man who is sexually attracted to other man. I am happily in a relationship with another man.

I can’t stress the fact enough that I am still me, I am still Beau. I might have changed some from the Beau you knew 2 or 5 or 10 or 20 years ago, but I think that has A LOT more to do with other things and time and experience, and not as much to do with that fact that I’m gay.

I have a lot more to say, and I would love for to read it, but I understand that some of you may not want to. If you would like to read all that I have to say (about me, my sexuality, what that means about me, what that means about my religion and my choices and my decisions and all of that and more), I am going to be writing that all out and posting a link soon if you interested to read it (which I hope you do).

To those of you who may be hurt, offended, disappointed, disgusted, saddened, or feeling negative or any other feeling like that, I didn’t intend to cause those feelings, but I believe you certainly have the right to the way you feel. If you feel the need to feel those things, by all means, do. But please know that I am happy, trying my best to be with the hardships and curveballs that life has thrown me (as is everyone, I believe). If you have any questions or anything, feel free to send me a Facebook message or email me at beaujamesthompson@gmail.com- I would just ask for your patience as I formulate a response and take my time in getting back to you; I promise I will do my best.

There is a lot more to all of that and my story and me, but that the gist of it when it comes to stating my sexuality to everyone.

I will say in advance that I appreciate any and all comments (but don’t expect any), but would ask that you keep them polite or cordial. Again, I’m not looking to be praised or told that you are proud of me or support me- is you do that is great and awesome and I appreciate it, but I’m not seeking that from you. And I’m not trying to force any of this down your throat. I am sorry if it feels that way.

In one way or another, you are all very important to me and I send much love and aloha to you all 🤙🏻❤️

Beau”

I once again want to reiterate that I do not intend to offend, hurt, disappoint, invalidate, disgust, or cause any negative feelings towards anyone- that is definitely not my intention. These facts are only about me and not about anyone else, and they (or their opposites) are not meant to imply anything towards gay people or people who deal with mental health issues or anyone really. If it feels that way, I’m sorry, I really am trying to write this all from the heart. And a lot of these facts might make more sense or resonate more with those who are members of the LDS church- it has been and is a large part of my life, and many people I know and love belong to it, so I want them to know all of this about me. But I am not leaving out those who aren’t LDS or religious- this is for me as much as it is for each and every one you. Again, I don’t meant to start any arguments, and I truly am sorry if I am causing you to feel sad or any negative feelings. But these are some FACTS about me and only me, that I feel like might help answer some questions. And like I said, a lot of the reason I am writing this out is for me, so I appreciate the time you are taking to read this. They are in no specific order, just written as they come to my mind.

-I am not trying to workout or get into shape because I am gay, I am trying to work out and get into shape because I want to live an active, happier, healthier, and longer life :).

-Dealing with the fact that I was gay and how to handle that was in a little part what may have caused some anxiety and depression, but I do not want anyone to confuse the two. I daily deal with have two very sever mental health issues: anxiety and depression. Gay or not, it is a constant struggle and battle every day. I have a lot of great doctors and support as I continue to work through this, and it will be with me my whole life. It is just another part of me.

-I am not going to (consciously) drastically change because I am gay (although it may seem that way to some of you). But if I have changed, I promise it has been over time. Due to me being prone to addictive and compulsive behaviors, and just because I don’t want to, I’m not going to start drinking or smoking or doing drugs. I already have many tattoos (some of you already know this, some of you don’t- I have my own personal reasons for that, you can ask me if you’d like to know). I am not all of a sudden getting tattoos. I have watched R-rated films for a long while now- I love films and often watch movies based on content and less on ratings. I am still the same old Beau, getting older every day haha.

-To all my loving, wonderful, religious (and non religious) friends, family, and examples, and especially to all of my beloved Missionaries that I taught over the course of 5 years and people I taught as a Missionary over the course of two years: I am very sorry if I have disappointed, saddened l, or disillusioned you in any way. I don’t mean to think that I am THAT big of a deal in any of your lives, but you all are THAT big a deal in my life, and I know the news that I am gay with all of its implications can come as very distressing or bring negative emotions. I am sorry if it does do that. I want you to know that I still love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and it’s teachings, God’s word, and everything I ever professed to believe or teach. I am not going to lie, it has been VERY difficult to come to terms with living my religion and with my homosexuality. In the end all I can really say is that I have to trust that God loves every one of His children and just put my trust in that. I know I am no longer going to be living a lot of the sacred promises that I made, and believe me I am very saddened and was very distressed by this for a long time. But I don’t know how to live any other way except by being me. I still love God, my family, and goodness. And I hope that is enough. I am just sorry if you feel like you’ve lost me or any other of the numerous feelings I know that can come with finding out that a loved one, friend, or person you know is gay. (This statement is in no way meant to spark controversy or debate or argument or rage or anything- it’s just meant to express my love to many people that have made such a huge impact on my life, and try to state the best I can what I feel). I really don’t know how to write how I feel any more than that. Please anyone and everyone, feel free to message me as I said, but please also be patient as I take some time to respond.

-I really have no political agenda, or any other type of agenda. I just want you all to know more of ME. Just like anyone else on Facebook or Instagram, if I post pictures of me and the person I’m dating eventually or anything like that in the future, I’m not trying to make some political statement or shove some lifestyle down your throat, I’m just trying to share my life and love and aloha like everybody else ❤️

-I am going to add more but that’s all I can think of now, but I know I will have a lot more to say or facts about Beau to write, especially as I get a lot of questions and everything.

Much love and mucho amor and aloha to you all for know 🤙🏻❤️