#honestly though the race issue is so prevalent so it would be best to keep pushing at it

[zephyrfuse]

hiya! just wanted to say how i admire your confidence about your opinions on splatoon tumblr,, which can honestly be scary,,, but anyways i strongly agree with your opinions about frye!! i love her she deserves the world…. frye nation rise up let’s win a splatfest

FRYE ICON SPOTTED BASED AS FUCK!!! 🫵🫵🫵

Honestly that's real. I mean I was pretty vocal about my perspectives and opinions on twitter and weebs (as far as i'm concerned they were white) hated my ass for it so I eventually did leave cause that's a hellhole.

And for once this time, I don't blame a majority of the issue on the designers at nintendo who made Frye. It rlly is the shit bias of a large population of this planet.

Although I do blame nintendo's issue to first make less popular teams have a chance in splatfests and then immediately give frye the majority/child options: Family (seriously what % of children can celebrate solo or have the freedom to celebrate with friends) and saturday (the ease of appeal option, shiver of course got the workaholics with friday) I do wish they can give frye niche but insane options to actually utilize the new system better. Frye needs to absolutely win a splatfest but it's not gonna happen if they continue with the current trend with the newly balanced system.

If support for spoon 3 really is going to end 2 years from launch without frye winning more than 1 you know it's bad bad. It's already been bad bad and a lot of us seen the bias in the raw, but damn. And honestly, even if it sucks to look at and experience for a lot of people, once again it proves a point. I don't want to hear anymore "Stop making it about race" in splatoon after everyone seeing this. The only option is to move forward, you can't go back to ignorance anymore after this. The overall character design choices are going in good direction, it's just everyone hates to see it now that the dark character isn't shy and easily made into submissive fetish material. lol! I can only hope that whoever made these designs and approved of them, don't stop continuing to make those decisions that continue to diversify their cast. Again, splatoon 4 needs 4 fryes. I rest my case.

[koholinthibiscus]

My Tumblr Journey and mental health

What the hell is this?  Where am I? What do I do and how do I do it?

You often hear of people getting to their 30′s and feeling more comfortable in their skin and just owning, accepting and loving themselves.  Well, maybe it’s because I need psychotherapy, and maybe it’s because I’ve come into adulthood in a period with huge economic and political upheaval as well as a pandemic; but I don’t feel that way.  I feel simultaneously old and young.  clueless about young things (like tmblr) and clueless about old things (like mortgages... even though I have one) 

I’ve deleted Facebook and use twitter sparingly these days so the reason joined this site is to purely vent.  To write my thoughts out and send them into the internet ether to languish, probably ignored.  But just getting it out might make all the difference to my physical and mental well being so I’m just going to give it a shot and see where things go. 

I feel terribly alone and isolated.  I have a type of social anxiety that you probably wouldn't notice.  You might just think I’m an idiot or a bitch.  You might barely acknowledge my existence.  I’m pretty average so I may not register.  But when I’m done talking I will think and think and think about it.  How did I come across?  why the fuck did I say that?  You think I’m a fucking idiot don’t you?  I will simply torture myself forever and ever.  And I avoid social interaction, especially with new people, as much as I can.  I can just about manage in a workplace setting but all my energy for this is taken up with that. 

I feel unheard, unseen and unsatisfied.  I feel a lump in my throat and a weight in my chest.  I feel exhausted and headachey most of the time.  I can’t bear this current situation.  I have a visceral hate for my country.  I can’t bear sad news.  I can’t cope with news that implicates humans as ignorant, unsympathetic, inhumane creatures.  I feel deep sadness at the existential threat our planet faces and confusion and sadness when I realise that barely anyone in my real life feels the same urgency and guilt.  I have changed my lifestyle (probably not enough) to try and alleviate the guilt but it hasn’t worked.  

So I get into things to try and distract myself; fandoms, stories, subjects, video games, novels and I feel sad about it because I feel useless “not good at it” or that they’re a waste of time.  I hate myself so much that my hobbies make me sad. How stupid is that?  I’ve recently been getting into DnD during lock down and watching critical role.  I enjoy it but it makes me sooooo sad and jealous that I don’t have a strong friend group like that who can enjoy playing DnD with the same level of fun, ease and camaraderie.  It literally hurts my heart and I’ve been feeling weird for days.  So I’ve tried to make myself better by consuming things.  I’ve bought a new set of dice and bought some unrelated books.  

I skip from one subject or thing to the next feeling unsatisfied and discontent.  I don’t practice things, I don’t finish things.  I give up. And I feel like I’m giving up at life. I am lazy and stupid.  My hobbies, likes and interests feel like a plaster over a gaping wound and was working but it’s not any more. Getting lost in a fantasy world just makes me feel sad I can’t create my own or be with a group of friends, either on line or on person where I can create together. 

I am petrified of parent hood.  I have an amazing 3 year old.  She is a marvel. But I have a constant dread of failing her. Doing too much, doing too little.  I want her to strive for happiness.  Take on hard things, work at things till she’s good at them, whatever it may be.  I honestly don’t care what as long as she enjoys it, has a passion for it and is ultimately happy.  I want to push her, but I don’t want to push her too much.  I worry about sending wrong messages.  I worry about not doing enough with her.  I do not want to bring her up the way that my mother brought me up. I am terrified of repeating the same mistakes. 

I’m ultimately a kind person who is trying their best but can’t unleash my true potential due to depression, anxiety and self-confidence issues.  I get so angry and sad at people who don’t follow the same ideals as me.  which.... isn’t ideal.  I can’t stand TERFs, racists, ableists, misogynists, right wing people, climate change deniers, ignorant people.  I can’t stand it when people think that poor people only have themselves to blame.  I hate capitalism and colonialism.  I want to change the way the world operates even if it is to my detriment as a white CIS English women living in comfort.  I feel trapped in suburbia where nothing changes and no one looks or is different.  

I don’t mean to fetishize certain communities with that statement and I reliaze that it’s probably ignorant of me to suggest that everyone is the same too, given that I struggle to interact with people.  And I’m not suggesting that I’m some sort of special flower  or that ‘I’m not like other women’ (eeww) either, I know there are people out there I would probably get on with but like I say, I struggle.

It frustrates me when people don’t feel the same way politically.  I think that people’s politics are based on their morals so I struggle with conservatives for example.  I don’t understand them or where they come from.  I want things that people need to be owned by the public and free at the point of access, healthcare being the main one and I fear for the future of the NHS.  Yes, even if it means higher taxes (but I obviously want the super rich taxed more) I don’t believe billionaires should exist.  I want universal basic income.  If the human race keeps breeding, if we keep suffering from pandemics, if we progress technologically to the point where mechanization is even more prevalent, we will not need people to have jobs.  We need UBI to level the playing field.  And I want a vegan world.  All of the above makes my head swim with anger and despair.  What type of world will my child have to endure when she gets to my age?  I fucking hope it’s better than this.  I can honestly say that I believe I am on the right side of history with my politics.  It is ultimately about being kind and humane.  But no... I’m probably seen as a soft SJW snowflake keyboard warrior twat by my family (which is why I went off facebook).  Even though I have a masters in Gender studies and a career in social justice work, but sure, I’m just after the ‘internet points’ or want to look ‘woke’.  I feel like not many people truly know me and if they do know all of the above and don’t like what  they see,  I don’t know man, that kills me.  I want people to think well of me. I want people to think I am a good person. 

I could yap on for ages about this honestly but it would make little sense.

I think I wanted to start this as a place to get my feelings down because I am starting a journey of therapy soon.  My sessions should begin in September but I feel the need to get stuff out now.  I’m having a bit of a shit time in my head right now and I felt like I would burst. 

I’m already worried that I will appear stupid and self centered.  There is nothing particularly wrong with my life.  I have a good job that I love but am also petrified of it and of getting it wrong so I self sabotage, worry and don’t believe in my abilities and I’ve been doing that since college.  (I need to un pack how I feel about work and my actions around it, I have a lot of thoughts, maybe for another time) 

I pick the spots on my face till they become angry red welts, I pick the skin around my nails till they get infected and then I hate myself for how I look, even though it was my fault in the first place.  I don’t shower, don’t wash my face, don’t get enough sleep then look in the mirror and see my greasy lank hair, baggy grey eyes and bad skin and I just hate myself.  Is this an analogy for the entirety of my personality? I am my own worst enemy and I need to give myself a fucking break.  Easier said than done. 

Things to unpack in therapy: 

My work 

My politics and how I interact, deal with people who don’t feel the same way as me

My child hood and family dynamics - It’s fucked up y’all. 

My Child

My husband 

My past relationship

The sick thing I do at night when i think about horrible things, like the death of my child for no god damn reason. (Is it punishment?) 

It’s frustrating being so aware of my issues and not feeling able to do anything about it. 

It’s probably an effect of lock down but I have been feeling really bad consistently for a very long period of time now and it’s exhausting.  I always have peaks and troughs, feel great to OK for sometimes a good few months then it just comes down on me like a bag of hammers and I feel like death for 2-4 weeks.  

I’ve been having those hiccups more often and for longer.  I’m so fucking tired man.  A couple of months ago a I had a terrible headache for 4 days, could barely move and felt tearful all the time.  I just thought it was a migraine attack at the time (which I very very rarely have) but I coincided with a particular event that I’m not ready to talk about (It’s really not that juicy it’s quite fucking pathetic actually) and I think it was a major depressive episode. 

I think I’m done now, I’m emotionally exhausted after reading this through and my throat hurts from trying not to cry.  Maybe this is the start of my tumblr journey maybe I’ll delete it all in a few days I don’t know.  I had to try something. 

[your-dietician]

Lifestyle modification cheapest way to manage hypertension – Expert

New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/lifestyle-modification-cheapest-way-to-manage-hypertension-expert/

Lifestyle modification cheapest way to manage hypertension – Expert

Published 12 September 2021

Abuja-based general practitioner, Dr Olaniran Olabiyi, in this interview with GODFREY GEORGE speaks on the risk factors and remedies for high blood pressure, especially in women

How does high blood pressure present in its hosts?

Blood pressure refers to the force the blood exerts against the arterial wall as it is pumped by the heart to circulate through the body. Hypertension is a chronic medical condition whereby the blood pressure is the arteries are constantly elevated; a condition where the heart is working too hard or the circumference of the arterial walls is narrow. Using the illustration of a house with a pipe and pumping machine. The pumping machine pumps water through the pipe in the house. Whenever there is a narrowing or blockage of the pipe, there will be increased pressure within the pipe. Also, the pumping machine will need to work more to ensure even distribution of water in the house. If the blockage is not removed or the narrowing is still present, the pipe will either burst or the pumping machine gets damaged.

What are some of the known causes of this condition?

Shockingly, majority of hypertensive disorders have no identifiable cause. This means there is no underlying disorder, condition or disease. This type of hypertension is called primary (idiopathic) hypertension. However, there is a minor type of hypertension (secondary hypertension) that has various etiologies, which include obstructive sleep apnea; adrenal gland tumours; kidney disease; diabetes; scleroderma; hormone problems (Cushing’s Syndrome, acromegaly, thyroid, hyperaldosteronism) as well as the use of some medicines and illegal drugs.

What are some of the risk factors for HBP?

There are several risk factors that are implicated in hypertension. Some are modifiable while others are non-modifiable. Risk factors that can be controlled include high cholesterol, socioeconomic status, psychosocial stress, overweight or obesity, diabetes, exposure to second hand smoke and cigarette smoking, unhealthy diet (low in potassium, high in sodium, and drinking lots of alcohol), lack of exercise. As regard the non-modifiable risk factors, they are increasing age, gender (male), race (blacks), obstructive sleep apnea, chronic kidney disease, etc.

Are there differences in the way the condition presents itself in the male and female genders?

Even though high blood pressure is more prevalent with age in both females and males, the time of onset is higher, respectively. Blood pressure and the risk of cardiovascular disease is higher in men than women of the same age. Nonetheless, after menopause woman have higher blood pressure than men due to oestrogen deficiency and increased body mass index associated with them.

Are there any issues which may expose women to HBP?

Urbanisation and changes in the nature of work has resulted in increasing work-related stress in women. Work-related stress may increase cardiovascular problems directly by affecting the autonomic nervous system and arterial pressure or indirectly by promoting unhealthy lifestyles. As such, the presentation of high blood pressure in a woman who is overstretched can be either marked by chest pain, palpitations and subtle headache. However, if a woman is stressed but had a coping mechanism whereby she is able to handle the work stress appropriately, it could be a benefit.

What role does sleep play in managing hypertension in women?

Generally speaking, sleep plays a vital role in humans. The less a woman sleeps, the higher the blood pressure. Ambulatory BP studies indicate that even small increases in BP, particularly nighttime BP levels, are associated with significant increases in cardiovascular morbidity and mortality. Accordingly, sleep-related diseases that induce increases in BP would be anticipated to substantially affect cardiovascular risk.

Both sleep deprivation and insomnia have been linked to increases in incidence and prevalence of hypertension. Likewise, sleep disruption attributable to Restless Legs Syndrome increases the likelihood of having hypertension. Observational studies demonstrate a strong correlation between the severity of Obstructive Sleep Apnea and the risk and severity of hypertension, whereas prospective studies of patients with OSA demonstrate a positive relationship between OSA and risk of incident hypertension.

According to the US National Library of Medicine, during normal sleep, there is a decrease in BP relative to wakefulness. This decrease is referred to as “nocturnal dipping” and partly is attributable to decreases in sympathetic output. Although arbitrary, a decrease of 10 per cent to 20 per cent in mean nocturnal BP (both systolic and diastolic) compared with mean daytime BP is considered normal. Conversely, an absence of nocturnal dipping, or non-dipping, is designated as a <10 per cent decrease in nocturnal BP.

OSA and hypertension commonly coexist. Approximately 50 per cent of patients with OSA are hypertensive, and an estimated 30 per cent to 40 per cent of patients with hypertension have OSA.

What are some of the management tips you’d recommend for people with hypertension?

The blood pressure can be managed by lifestyle modifications and medications which are called antihypertensive. Lifestyle modifications is the cheapest way of managing high blood pressure, all through, it could be difficult. As simple as it may sound, lifestyle changes can treat hypertension, even though some people will still require medicines. The type of medications recommended depends on the blood pressure reading and risk of developing other co-morbidities (strokes or heart attacks). If your blood pressure is constantly above 140/90 mmhg (or 135/85 mmhg at home) you have low cardiovascular risk, lifestyle modifications is highly recommended.

If your blood pressure is above 140/90 (or 135/85 mmhg at home) and there is high cardiovascular risk, you will be offered antihypertensive medications in addition to the lifestyle modifications. If your blood pressure is consistently above 160/100 mmhg, you will be offered medicine to lower your blood pressure, in addition to lifestyle modifications. Now, the lifestyle changes are stop smoking; drink less caffeine; reduce alcohol consumption; lose weight; be active and exercise; eat balanced and low-fat diet; reduce the level of salt intake to less than 6g which is a teaspoonful. Honestly, by practising the aforementioned changes, you may never need to take medicines. As regard antihypertensive medicines, many people will be required to take a combination of different medicines, ranging from calcium channel blockers, ACE inhibitors, diuretics, Angiotensin-2 receptor blocker and so on. It is advisable that your doctor prescribes what is best for you. Some of these medications have side effects which should be reported to the doctor immediately.

 Are there nutritional expectations as well?

Of course, high consumption of vegetables, fruits, low-fat dairy foods, whole grains, fish poultry, mutant polyunsaturated fatty acids are recommended. Whenever women visit the markets to purchase vegetable oil from the market, they should read the labels and see the concentration of different types of fatty acids. Oils that have highest amount of polyunsaturated fatty acids should be purchased because they are friendly to the heart, compared to those that have higher level of saturated fatty acids. Women should also reduce the amount of palm oil they use in cooking because it has high level of saturated fatty acids.

What is the worst that can happen if one fails to keep to these guidelines?

A whole lot can happen. Stroke, acute myocardial infection, kidney failure are few out of several other health conditions that are complications of hypertension. Others may include aneurysm, weakened and narrowed blood vessels in one’s kidneys; thickened, narrowed or torn blood vessels in the eyes; metabolic syndrome; trouble with understanding and memory and dementia, to mention but a few.  These complications, if not addressed appropriately, can lead to death but it is better to live healthy to prevent them from happening.

What is the diagnosis like when one presents him/herself in the hospital?

Diagnosis of hypertension is the same in both male and female. Once blood pressure is elevated, it is termed high blood pressure, howbeit, there can be different underlying risk factors or predisposing medical conditions. Your doctor will ask questions about your medical history and do a physical examination. The doctor, nurse or other medical assistant will place an inflatable arm cuff around your arm and measure your blood pressure, using a pressure-measuring gauge. Your blood pressure, generally, should be measured in both arms to determine if there is a difference. It’s important to use an appropriate-sized arm cuff. Blood pressure measurements fall into several categories: Normal blood pressure (if it’s below 120/80 mmHg), elevated blood pressure also known as pre-hypertension (ranging from 120 to 129 mmHg) and a diastolic pressure (below 80 mmHg).

It is also worthy to note that there are three stages of hypertension. There is the stage one hypertension, which  is a systolic pressure ranging from 130 to 139 mmHg or a diastolic pressure, ranging from 80 to 89 mmHg. Stage two hypertension is a more severe hypertension. It is a systolic pressure of 140 mmHg or higher or a diastolic pressure of 90 mmHg or higher. Hypertensive crisis which is the third stage of hypertension  is a blood pressure measurement higher than 180/120 mmHg. This is an emergency situation that requires urgent medical care. If you get this result when you take your blood pressure at home, wait five minutes and retest. If your blood pressure is still this high, contact your doctor immediately. If you also have chest pain, vision problems, numbness or weakness, breathing difficulty, or any other signs and symptoms of a stroke or heart attack, call 911 or your local emergency medical number.

Both numbers in a blood pressure reading are important. But after age 50, the systolic reading is even more important. Isolated systolic hypertension is a condition in which the diastolic pressure is normal (less than 80 mmHg) but systolic pressure is high (greater than or equal to 130 mmHg). This is a common type of high blood pressure among people older than 65. Because blood pressure normally varies during the day and may increase during a doctor visit (white coat hypertension), your doctor will likely take several blood pressure readings at three or more separate appointments before diagnosing you with high blood pressure.

Are there any symptoms for HBP?

Truth be told, hypertension is largely symptomless. It is called a “silent killer.” If a woman looks down on her blood pressure readings because she feels no symptoms, she is ultimately digging her grave. The best way to know whether you have blood pressure or not is to measure it. Also, evidence reveals that some symptoms are present during hypertensive crisis, such as headaches, nose bleeds, dizziness, blurred vision and shortness of breath.

Does childbearing have a role to play in hypertension in women?

Of course, child bearing has a role to play in hypertension but not all women who are agreement will have high blood pressure. It might surprise you to know that hypertension is one of the commonest medical conditions encountered during pregnancy. The hypertensive disorder can be classified as chronic hypertension; pre-eclampsia- eclampsia, pre-eclampsia superimposed on chronic hypertension and gestational hypertension. Hypertensive disorders in pregnancy causes metal morbidity, maternal morbidity and currently ranks as the leading cause if maternal mortality.

What is the percentage ration of HBP in men against women?

According to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, a greater percentage of men (47 per cent) have high blood pressure than women (43 per cent).

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[awakeandalive2012]

Changes

I have had this saved in my posts for a long time. It's hard to come out and be vulnerable, but honestly, it's the only thing that is keeping me sane during this tumultuous period of my life. Also I haven't blogged for a bit, so this is just a word dump to help me process everything going on in my life.

I'll admit it: I am the type of person who doesn't easily adjust to change. I won't go into details, but throughout my whole life, it has been hard for me to adjust to life's biggest moments. Going to a jewish pluralistic, co-ed college prep boarding high school, it took me quite a few weeks to properly adjust to my new surroundings and schedule. Going to college, again, took me some time to adjust to being on a big campus and find out who I was. Making the big move back to LA, working in the entertainment industry, and then making the long trek back to the east coast again, took some time. And as I am writing this, I still feel like it was a just a fleeting memory, as if I have to ask "did this really happen?". Changes usually bring new beginnings and exciting things ahead. And yet, some changes don't lead to anything. Years later, and I still sometimes question who I am and where I am going to end up in life.

This year is no exception. There have been plenty of moments that have occurred, where I am still getting adjusted to what has occurred. I am proud of the accomplishments and how I have adjusted to these huge moments. Now I can sit back and properly reflect.

My Wedding

I am married. Married. I never imagined myself to be saying that out loud. Every time I look down at my left hand and see two rings adorning my finger, it sparks a joy that I am married to an amazing man who makes me happy, who makes me laugh, who comforts me in my lowest of lows. Our wedding was beautiful, surrounded by our closet family and friends (super intimate ceremony) and celebrating our love. It was one of the best days of my life. Everything played out perfectly and everyone had a great time. After all those months of planning and having it culminate into one special day was worth it and I would relive it every day if I could. I look back at my photos and watch the videos only to smile because it happened. I wouldn't change it for the world.

But Nicole, what happens after happily ever after? The wedding is only the beginning of an incredible journey that you and your significant other take together. Changing my last name is typically the first step in post-wedding life for any bride. Changing your name itself is riddled with anxiety. I have had a to-do list for post wedding items sitting on my computer and it has been left unread for months. However, because of the pandemic, the SSA is not open so I can't even begin to adjust to the fact that I no longer identify as a "Goldstein". I immediately changed my name via social media but it's not the same satisfaction; albeit, leaving me with a temporary sense of accomplishment. I still have work to do with that, but for now I am happy just to be able to spend the rest of my life with a man I love. I am enjoying every moment from cooking and cleaning together to hanging out on weekends and spending time with the man I love.

My Job

Once upon a time, I graduated from college in 2016, made the big move out to LA and pursued the Hollywood dream. I didn't even make it halfway up the ladder when I decided to move back home (it was more for personal reasons as to why I left, but it's part of it). I knew that I was taking a big risk moving back to a place where the entertainment industry was not as prevalent. Even though I landed a part time job a few short months later, it is not enough for me to be fully satisfied. Let me be clear; I am grateful for my job at the present time, as many people are not so lucky. I was lucky to have gotten unemployment for as long as I did. I am extremely lucky to have a strong loving support system, who have been consistently patient and offer great advice. I am one of the lucky ones.

What I keep thinking about and the thought that keeps me up at night: Why am I not good enough to land a full time job? I have the experience. I have the drive. But nothing. I have seen seas of "thank you for your interest, but we will not be moving on with your application", I barely make the interview stage, and have yet to see an offer from anything. I have applied to jobs I was perfect for, over qualified for, even took a chance on those jobs that were out of my reach or I was under qualified for. I cannot remember a day within these last two years that I did not feel the slightest bit anxious/upset about finding a job.

As of late, I had the thought of potentially going back to school. But that leads me down different thought processes. What am I going to study? I wanted to pursue theatre and I got rejected three times, which does a number on the psyche. I got into the media arts program, graduated, and flew out to pursue a job in my desired industry. After nearly four years, and hardly any progression, with no prospects of moving on up, I left to get a fresh start. Now what? Starting over again? What do I do? What else am I good at? What do I enjoy doing? All of these questions drive me crazy and sometimes, more often than not, to tears. It honestly sucks.

My POV on World Events

There is plenty to discuss here, but the main world issue that I want to highlight is the ongoing global COVID 19 pandemic. Overall thought; this pandemic is far from over and we all have to contribute/work together to end this. Wear a mask (if required in your state/city, etc), wash your hands, stay 6 ft apart, and follow the laws. I was just getting over the hump that is the original COVID-19. I even remember in April 2020 that we were forced into quarantine and our daily lives were forever interrupted. As COVID spread, and the race for the vaccine began, I grew fearful of catching COVID. I did not want to endanger my family, my friends, my loved ones. Worse of all, I didn't want to get sick and die even when I was following all the protocols. When I moved back, I quarantined for two weeks when I got back before I went to Virginia. Over the next year and a half, I wore my mask. I kept my eyes and ears open for new developments and certified research. Finally, when we got vaccinated, I felt a brick lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe again. Now, in mid 2021, we have another variant to worry about? Come on! I was just getting used to wearing masks everywhere, even considering not wearing a mask again. I have been wearing masks everywhere regardless, I have been furiously washing my hands and sanitizing. Most places around us are mask optional at this point, but I am still worried about getting weird looks from people. I am anxious enough as it is with everything going on in my life, but now I have to bend to the will of complete strangers point of views on me wearing a mask or not. When can we resume our normal life? What is even normalcy anymore? It just makes my head spin trying to keep up and adapt.

All of these big changes that have occurred in my life has challenged me to my very core. It's hard to adjust and sometimes has me broken. However, I stick to my mantra to help me through every day: keep going. So, if you are like me, anxious and feeling ever stressed about life and the changes that come about from it, keep going. Let's walk this trail to the unknown together.

[ssocatherine]

100 OC questions - Answered!

@hobbithorsewhat you asked for this

1. What do they smell like?

Catherine smells like lavender all the time, she is obsessed with natural scents like essential oils and is constantly putting lavender oil on. Sometimes, she smells a little like cigarettes.

2. What is their voice like?

Catherine has a somewhat gravely voice, with a light Irish accent.

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Catherine is most motivated by the peace she finds in nature. Her way of life is that she believes that in life, do what you can. This doesn’t mean go and search for ways of changing huge things in jorvik or the world, she just focuses on helping who she can at the time.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

Catherine’s most embarrassing memory is when she was first learning to ride, she and Justin decided to take a little trail ride. She was so distracted staring at him, she didn’t see the low branch in the path and ended up hanging onto it with her arms when her horse walked right out from under her. Justin had to ride under her and lift her off of it due to her fear of heights.

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

Catherine is a big baby when it comes to pain and has little tolerance. When it comes to emotional pain, Catherine is very good at hiding it and doesn’t expose her feelings to many people at all.

6. What do they like to wear?

Catherine really likes to wear leather jackets, sweaters and denim. She also appreciates lace. Most often, she can be found in a cozy sweater, jeans, her black leather riding boots.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Justin was her first real friend on the island and he taught her how to ride and even convinced his father to sell her her beloved Thorn. She never stops worrying for Justin and often draws him in her sketchbook, wondering what he is doing.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Probably octopus.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Catherine sleeps on her side, tucking her knees to her chest and holding a stuffed lobster her mother gifted her as a child.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

Catherine’s favorite food is undoubtedly corn beef and cabbage. Her mother used to cook this for her every holiday and eating it feels special.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

Catherine is insecure about very little, but if she had to pick something she would probably say her hands, only because she has somewhat thick, calloused fingers.

12. How do they like to dress?

See question 6

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

The guilt will bother Catherine until she makes right what she has done wrong.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

When Justin betrayed Catherine she was filled with rage, and threw out many of the things she had drawn of him. Knowing what he went through now, she regrets it but probably would have done the same thing if it happened again.

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Catherine believes her greatest achievement is savings moorland stables. She can’t imagine Jorvik without it and still keeps her horses there.

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Very cranky

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Catherine doesn’t drink, but if she did she would be very honest when drunken and probably reveal secrets she meant to keep to herself.

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

Indie-rock and pop. She likes passion pit a lot.

19. Are they right or left handed?

Right handed

20. Fears?

Stable fires, losing her ability to ride, public speaking

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Fall, nice and cool and sunny

22. Favorite color?

Black and red

23. Do they collect anything?

Catherine collects gems and geodes and also herbs

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold

25. What is their eye color?

Blue

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

White

27. Hair color?

White-blonde (light brown naturally)

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

Absolutely

29. Are they a morning person?

Yes!

30. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

A little bit of both but mostly organized

32. Pet peeves?

She hates when people hurt those who cant fight back like animals, and also unwarranted advice.

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

Justin’s jacket tbh

34. Least favorite food?

Tuna fish

35. Least favorite color?

Purple

36. Least favorite smell?

Cooking mushrooms

37. When was the last time they cried?C

Catherine doesn’t cry often but after Justin was arrested, she went home and had a good cry.

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

No

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

She fell off of a green appaloosa, her horse Flurry to be exact, and broke her wrist.

40. Do they have any scars?

A scar under her eye from a dog bite, and a cigarette burn on her upper arm

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Anxiety is somewhat prevalent but getting better.

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Smoking

43. Why might someone dislike them?

Catherine can be somewhat annoying in the fact that she doesn’t like to be told what to do, so if someone told her how to do something she might annoy them by not doing it that way or not listening.

44. Why might someone love them?

Catherine is very kind and devoted to those she loves. She is selfless and beautiful and dedicated.

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Absolutely

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

Yes, though Catherine would trust her life to very few people they do exist.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Yes, Catherine is deeply crushing on Justin Moorland and has been since day one.

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

Things between her and Justin are confusing right now, and she hopes that he makes a move soon because waiting is growing more difficult.

49. Do they like surprises?

Yes!

50. When is their birthday?

November 8th

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

Not really

52. Do they have any family?

Yes, a mother and a sister

53. Are they close to their family?

Geographically, no. Emotionally, yes.

54. What is their MBTI type?

The doer

55. What is their zodiac sign?

Scorpio

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Hufflepuff!

57. What D&D alignment are they?

Chaotic good

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Very often, and they’re often about her horses being stolen for some reason

59. What are their views on death?

Though she is scared of her own, she looks forward to what comes after

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

A crappy pun tbh

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

She loves to draw and listen to music

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

She would always be outdoors if she could

63. Do they have an accent?

Yes, Irish

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

Probably a grimace, she likes vanilla cake

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

She would probably tell her family she loves them, and tell Justin to have her horses and that she loves him aswell.

66. How do they feel about sex?

Catherine was somewhat of a promiscuous person back in Ireland and enjoyed the act but she has had other focus’s in Jorvik.

67. What is their sexuality?

Catherine is Bi but prefers men mostly.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

No, though she is a baby about pain she is somewhat fascinated with blood, sick as it may be.

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

She hates mold and rotten food!

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

I honestly cant pick one!

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

To a point. Catherine does like to help, but she hates being taken advantage of.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Pineapple

73. Do they have a pet?

Many horses and a few cats!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Yes, but she gets over things relatively quickly. When angered, she will go off in a rant and then storm off, possibly returning to go off again.

75. How patient are they?

Catherine is very patient

76. Are they good at cooking?

Very good! Her mother was a waitress and while waiting for her mom to finish her shift, Catherine often learned from the chef at the diner.

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

You idiot! Catherine says you idiot only when extremely angered

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

She will say hello to everyone and practically skips when walking and becomes very generous.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

Depending on the person, she will usually ignore them

80. Are they trustworthy?

Somewhat. Catherine is very kind but depending on the situation, she isn’t afaid to do what needs to be done.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Yes, Catherine often his how she felt growing up because her sister struggled so much she didn’t want to be a burden on her mother.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Not really, except for riding.

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Very. Catherine is beautiful and she knows it.

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

Freckles, brown eyes, and especially height.

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

She finds men who are kind and gentle attractive, especially when they aren’t afraid to be honest or afraid.

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Yes! Especially ice cream.

87. What is their age?

22 years old

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

Relatively tall at 5’7

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

She sometimes wears glasses just for fun.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

Yes

91. What is their sense of humor like?

She makes very dark jokes but also enjoys a good pun

92. What mood are they most often in?

Happy and content

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who are inconsiderate

94. Outlook on life?

Be the change you want to see

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Hurt/dead animals

96. What is their greatest weakness?

Justin moorland

97. What is the greatest strength?

Justin moorland

98. Something that they regret?

Justin moorland

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Moving to Jorvik!

100. What is catherines favorite hobbies besides riding?

Catherine loves to paint, draw, and dance but most presently, she loves to practice shooting her bow and arrow.

[themeatlife]

2020, Goodbye

If you are like me, 2020 has felt rough.  There has been a lot of change, a lot of “new normals” and the like.  I’ve been fortunate in many ways this year, but like many Americans have had to sacrifice for the betterment of communal and public health.  This post will most likely be a stream-of-consciousness ramble of what has been on my mind since the spring.  Not just one thing but multiple things.  Not sure if I can put all of it in words, but I’m going to give it a go and we’ll see what happens.

Sports?  Sports.  Sports!

Normally I would have had a college football preview and several football related entries by now including a Bowl Season or New Year’s Six preview.  This year with the initial will they play/won’t they play, then with all the COVID related issues postponing or cancelling games, I didn’t think I could properly give analysis or opinion.  There was a lot out there.  But I will say BOOMER SOONER and congrats to my Sooners on the Cotton Bowl domination of Florida.  Opt out or no opt out, you still have to play the games and those opt out WRs don’t play defense.

In 2020 we went from sports drought in the Spring, to sports overload in the Fall.  I honestly couldn’t keep up with all the watching!  NBA Playoffs, NHL Stanley Cup Playoff, MLS, NFL, and College Football seasons all kind of collided at once in the early Fall.  It was nice after not having any sports on TV for a few months.

Show me the Movies

I’ve cataloged a bunch of different shows and movies I watched over the course of the year and pandemic.  I put some of that on pause when sports came back.  But, I hit resume on some viewing over the holidays.  I did post on my social accounts some short reviews but I wanted to dive a little more in the viewing I’ve partaken in during the Christmas/New Year’s window.

Wonder Woman 1984 Meat Rating: 7/10

I watched this and initially was a little underwhelmed.  I thought it was solid and entertaining but not as good as the first.  But then I started reading a lot of negative feedback online about the film.  Even though it wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, I didn’t think it was a bad movie.  So I didn’t understand a lot of the negativity.  It is a bit slower-paced the first two-thirds of the movie, so that might have turned off some viewers.  I actually dug it.  The last third is what disappointed me.  No spoilers, I’ll just say that the emotional end of the movie happens about 20 minutes before the actual end of the movie, and that throws the whole thing off in my opinion.  Still, worth the watch.  And I love Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, and Pedro Pascal.

Soul Meat Rating: 9/10

Best movie of the year, in my opinion.  Wow.  Pixar has gotten so good at exploring human emotions and psyche like no other entertainment company.  And through quirky animated features, no less.  I may have to rank Pixar movies soon, we’ll see.  Like features like Inside Out, this probably works better on adults than it does on kids.  In any event, I laughed and enjoyed the ride, and I cried uncontrollably at the end of the experience.  I’m glad Jamie Foxx and Tina Fey took us on this journey.

The Midnight Sky Meat Rating: 6/10

Where to start?  Visually this film has some stunning shots.  The scenes in the Arctic and the space scenes are visually great.  The film’s weakness is that the pace is super slow.  There are tidbits throughout the film that hint at an obvious twist.  But the film is so slow that the payoff at the end feels worth less and almost unearned.  Unless you are a big George Clooney or Felicity Jones fan (or Kyle Chandler fan, big ups to Coach Taylor), I would skip this if you have other viewing options.

Tenet Meat Rating - 8/10

As I disclosed on my social accounts, I am a big Christopher Nolan fan.  Love his work, and was probably going to like this movie regardless.  I did not have the opportunity to see this in the theater, and I kind of regret that because Nolan films are usually the ideal theater experience.  Tenet is no different.  Big, epic action set pieces.  Visually stunning.  Confusing AF in maybe the first half of the movie.  I took my brother’s advice and just let it soak in upon first viewing.  So as the movie progressed, the more and more you start to understand what is going on.  The end pays off for me.  I haven’t gotten a chance for a second viewing, I might do that this weekend.  I need to rank Nolan movies now as well. John David Washington and Robert Pattinson have pretty good bro-chemistry and the movie plays off that well.

The Mandalorian - Season 2 Meat Rating: 8/10

I never reviewed the first season, which I would probably also give an 8.  Some background, I’m not a Star Wars fanatic.  I enjoy watching the movies and playing some of the games.  I never got into the animated series Clone Wars or Rebels.  So this current season of Mando, I probably wasn’t as geeked out as some Star Wars fans who have consumed that previous content.  Even without the context of some of the characters introduced from those shows into some of these episodes, I still enjoyed Mando Season 2 tremendously.  The Mandalorian is the best thing going on for the Star Wars franchise, and by the look of it from the recent Disney investors meeting, it looks like they are doubling down on Star Wars shows because of Mando’s success.

Toxic Politics, Conspiracy, and COVID

I have on occasion written about politics and current events, although I try not to make it too much of a habit.  Not so much because I don’t think it’s worthwhile but because everything is so partisan now.  Everything seems to be politicized, even things that shouldn’t be.  Like the response to COVID.  Why is public health and trying to prevent the spread of a deadly virus something political?  Why is something like wearing a mask politicized?  I never understood.  I guess long gone are the days of “ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”  It is no longer United We Stand, but rather divided we stand.  Every man for himself.

Was it always like this?

And how have all these false, unverified conspiracy theories become so prevalent?  Part of the role of journalism is to not only inform the voting public but also be a reference of shared knowledge.  But now we are in this “hot take” culture, where instead of facts we are subject to people’s takes.  And the hotter the take, the more eyeballs get on them and the more these things spread.  I’ve also noticed that information spreads much faster when it agrees with someone’s opinion, factual or not.

So what do we do from here?  How do we correct this?  

There are no easy and comfortable answers. Much like the matters of race in this country. Race and COVID are two issues that are treated similarly. There are serious and deadly issues that need to be dealt with, but there are many who think those problems don’t exist or are exaggerated.

For us to address problems, we have to progress as a people. Together. To move forward, we have to expand our own perspective. Not every situation is clear. Not every solution is simple. And not every path is the same. To make things better, we have to understand the other side of things. Not everyone that disagrees is an enemy or villain. And as such, not every idea from the other side is evil.

We are all people trying to navigate this world. Navigate through rumors and conspiracy. Navigate through racism. Navigate through a global pandemic. If we showed more compassion and empathy toward each other, it would go a long way.

2020, goodbye.

Onward to 2021.

[rcsonant-blog]

                                           you don’t want to hear the story of my life,                                          and anyway i don’t want to tell it, i want to listen                                                to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.                                                 and anyway it’s the same old story—                                                           a few people just trying,                                                              one way or another,                                                                     to survive.

mirae was born to kwon hyemi, a beautiful dragon that’s features easily enchanted anyone with a passing glance. unlike many other dragons, her mother remained unregistered, roaming free and “illegal” all of her life. well, almost all of her life. like dragons before her, she had been thrust into the system as a child, growing up in a care facility herself until she was sold off to a wealthy family. the family, like many families often did to dragons, treated her horribly, never addressing her as an equal, abusing her as a pet, and shackling her away when they had to use of showing her off around town. she was nothing more than a luxury item to them. and hyemi had accepted that as her life until she had met a man. in particular, another dragon from the families close friends.

a secret love affair was what they shared, running around in secret behind closed doors and reveling in each others company. they made each other feel alive, like they were destined for more than a life of solidarity and imprisonment. they loved each other, at least that’s what hyemi thought -- until she got pregnant. then everything changed.

they were both panicked, knowing that this information would tear the families into shambles. the news certainly wouldn’t go over well, especially for them. fear drove them mad, until realization struck. not only would this affect them, it would affect the children. if they weren’t ripped away from hyemi, they’d be subjected to the same torture she had to endure.

that just wasn’t going to happen.

hyemi tried to talk him into going with her, she really did. that was the best option -- run away together, start a new life. they could do it, surely. but that was the thing. he didn’t want to. he was afraid, the uncertainty too much for him, the pregnancy and responsibility that accompanied it much less desirable than staying shackled in a home.

so, in a desperate attempt at a normal life for her children, hyemi decided to run away alone. she didn’t have time for his cowardly ass!

hyemi lived like that, homeless on the streets, staying hidden and fending for herself. she made a few friends along the way, friends willing to help her out for a few days. but it only ever lasted a few days. hiding a runaway, illegal dragon wasn’t exactly what people would call worth the risk.

nearing the due date, hyemi had become incredibly sick, which put a stress on the pregnancy. because of that, when she finally gave birth ( in the home of a dear friend of hers ), not every baby survived. 10 had been born, and only 5 had survived. it was rough on hyemi because she knew it was her fault, even if it wasn’t actually her fault. her health was to blame, and she’d done the best she could with the circumstances but it just wasn’t enough.

flashing forward ( ‘cause the meat in the middle isn’t at all important ) mirae grew along with her siblings, her family remaining on the streets. if you’d ask her, she doesn’t remember much from the time other than a lot of nights were spent cold and were often scary, but her mother was warm. she had a tender voice, and mirae loved the way her heart sounded when she pressed her ear to her chest.

mirae gotten distracted one day, wondering far off without thinking while her mother wasn’t fully paying attention. five children was a lot to keep an eye on, but mirae was only 2 dragon years ( 8 human ). a simply shiny object and she was off. it was as simple as that, in the panic of the bustling city, she’d been separated from her mother and siblings.

while she cried, she wondered around until her tears dried, simply searching. just trying to find her mother. for a while she did that, not necessarily accustomed to surviving on her own, but doing it anyway. it was a few weeks later that she wondered into the kim’s shop, just desperate to see if they had a bathroom that she could use since the last two places had refused.

their curious and sad eyes fell upon her with sadness, offering her to stay for a little longer and asking if she was hungry. morally they couldn’t throw an 8 year old back out on the street, so they decided to let her stay with them for the night, and the next, and the night after that, taking her back to their home. she hadn’t necessarily moved in with them, but she definitely wasn’t going anywhere given 6 months had passed since she’d joined them. at least she had a friend. a young girl by the name of eunbi, only a few years older than her ( she was only 13 ) in human years and unknowingly, she had imprinted on her within a short time.

it was different than her imprint on her mom. a welcoming attention, a tight comfort. she didn’t want to lose her.

they still didn’t know she was a dragon, though ( her telling horns hadn’t quite come in just yet ). but it had taken one moment of which she’d woken up alone and bellowed the most horrendous, echoing cry that resembled something much more intense than any alarm could fathom that started it. the police were called on a noise complaint, and the issue was addressed. “oh my -- that’s a dragon! are you aware that your dragon is unregistered? that is a horrendous offense, you could get jail time, y’know.”

“my what is what now???”

it took some discussion with eunbi’s parents, but with pleading eyes they’d decided to register her. the process was quick for them, the regional boss of their little quaint shop giving them a fast pass to the registration process that usually took people a year and a half to go through due to the fact that mirae had already imprinted on eunbi and separation anxiety for a dragon was a bitch.

and i mean like ,, that’s it ?? she grew up with them, moved out with eunbi when eunbi moved out, and that’s been her life ever since. kind of an abrupt ending, but you’ll get the missing information between this point and now in eunbi’s bio so stay tuned!

IMPORTANT TIDBITS

alright so there’s not a crazy amount of information to know about dragons. i might add things as i go and figure it all out myself but these are the things i know so far that personally apply to mirae

when in her human form, she has the ability to harness a few abilities that she could as a dragon, the most important and prevalent of that being fire. most of it comes from her hands, but whether or not she can do it any other way (i.e. her mouth) is something she isn’t quit sure of herself. because of this ability, she tends to set things on fire a lot unintentionally. miniature expositions and general fire hazards are something to always be prepared for when you’re around her.

overwhelming emotions are very dangerous. when she gets upset, her cry can become alarmingly loud and, quit honestly, terrifying. if she feels highly distressed, or even angry, she’s at a threat of transforming into her full dragon form altogether. (eunbi only experienced this once, and it was when mirae had been hauled away from her and thrown into custody to be registered). overall, all u really need to know is Intense Emotions are Very Bad

when she turns into a full dragon it’s super badass. one day i’ll change this small section with a picture of what she looks like probably. the one thing i’d like to mention is her scales are iridescent. they shift from beautiful shades of a range of colors, which is rarely seen on dragons, and it’s quit the spectacle.

⸻ THE BASICS

name: kwon mirae

age: 20

age in dragon years: 5

birthday: august 11, 1998

race: korean

gender: cisfemale

sexuality: bisexual

relationship status: single

⸻ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

hair: brown

eyes: brown

height: 158 cm (5′2)

build: slim

distinguishing marks: horns. i know this picture is white, but i think the horns would boarder more of a darker brown/black [x]

common accessories: none

⸻ PERSONAL  

profession: helps eunbi around her shop

languages: korean

residence: taebaek, south korea

birthplace: pyeongchang, south korea

religion: catholic

fears: abandonment

disabilities: none

good traits: animated, adventurous, bright, compassionate, enthusiastic, playful, reliable, talkative, sincere, sweet

bad traits: childish, fearful, indecisive, messy, mischievous, picky, possessive, rowdy, sharp, uncoordinated

⸻ TRAITS

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between.

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unemphatic / in between.

optimistic / pessimistic / in between.

traditional / modern / in between.

hard-working / lazy / in between.

cultured / un-cultured / in between.

loyal / disloyal / unknown / in between.

faithful / unfaithful / unknown / in between.

⸻ PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

class or caste: upper / middle / working / unsure

education: high school / college / dropped out / didn’t go to school

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no

⸻ BELIEFS

monotheist / polytheist / atheist  / agnostic

belief in ghosts or spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

belief in an afterlife:  yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

belief in reincarnation:  yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

belief in aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

philosophical: yes / no

⸻ CAPABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

social skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

⸻ HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

indulgent foods: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

⸻ HABITS

nail biting / throat clearing / lying / interrupting / chewing the ends of pens / smoking / swearing / knuckle cracking / thumb sucking / muttering under their breath / talking to themselves / nose picking / binge drinking / oversleeping / snacking between meals / skipping meals / picking at skin / impulse buying / talking with their mouth full / humming or singing to themselves / chewing gum / leg jiggling / foot tapping / sighing / hair twirling / whistling / eye rolling / licking lips / sniffing / squinting / rubbing hands together / jaw clenching / gesturing while talking / putting feet up on tables / tucking hair behind ears / chewing lips / crossing arms over chest / putting hands on hips / rubbing the back or their neck / being late / procrastinating / doodling / shredding paper / peeling off bottle labels / forgetfulness / running hands through hair / overreacting / teeth grinding / nostril flaring / slouching / pacing / drumming fingers / fist clenching / pinching bridge of nose / rubbing temples / rolling shoulders