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eudaimaniacs · 2 years

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bottled-up feelings (Keigo Takami/Hawks x Reader)

character/universe: keigo takami/hawks (my hero academia)

word count: 1.2k words (4 minutes)

warning/s: some swearing and bad writing.

notes: i am crying cause i am back from the dead again 😭 this is a bad imagine and i don't want to make a part two because i'll probably mess it up. i'll try to make if i have the energy! hope you enjoy!

I don't know why Keigo is acquainted with that piece of shit for an hour.

I want to go home and let all of this go, but Keigo needs to attend his hero duties and answer every interview. I'm tired and want to spend more time with him like an ordinary couple, but sometimes these problems pop up. Right now, I'm experiencing something that partners argue about a lot.

Keigo spent these past few hours talking to important people and giving out autographs to fans. It's a standard duty for heroes as they're required to keep their public image friendly and approachable. I don't have any problem with it because all I want for Keigo is to have a successful career. Sure, it does come with many issues, but I have accepted that because hero work is not always rainbows and unicorns.

Some of the things that bother me with these duties are attending interviews. These interviewers like bringing up my relationship with Keigo and that I wasn't fit to be with him. It angered and saddened me that this is what I'm going to experience when I'm dating a famous hero. Keigo assured me that he's keeping our relationship private for the sake of my soul.

The one situation that I cannot avoid a lot with these interviews is the flirtatious remarks and gestures. Sure, I cannot prevent the person from flirting with Keigo because he's handsome. What I cannot take is that Keigo doesn't know that I get jealous and insecure when I see them joking around and being playful. I question myself a lot whenever I notice them having a good and better time because my relationship with him has been neutral for the past months. I do get emotional that I don't provide Keigo a good time in our relationship whenever I experience this.

I am trying to put up a brave face and continue listening to their conversation with ignorance. I didn't want to cry or burst out in front of them because I didn't want to make a fool of myself or Keigo in this important event. But, it's hard to see your lover ignore you and keep their attention on someone else. It hurts, and I want to swoop in Keigo then tell the person that he's in a relationship with me.

It's a petty move, so I waited for time to pass and for them to stop talking. I drank water, ate some of the food leftovers, or stare into oblivion while I listen and wait. It didn't distract me from my thoughts; instead, I think about likely scenarios when I do this action. So, I did the worst thing imaginable to my heart and that was to bottle up my feelings.

I was staring into nothing until Keigo snapped his hands and said, "Honey, are you okay there?"

I shook my head and whispered, "no." Keigo nodded and continued his conversation with the person. I looked down and excused myself from the table to go to the bathroom.

As I walked towards the restroom, I felt my heart crashing down because Keigo didn't still get the message.

I was hurt, and he's not helping me right now.

I began to cry quietly in the stall and tried to stop the tears before going back to the table. It didn't stop because I realized that I was alone in this situation, and I had to wait for the event to be over to express my feelings to Keigo. I felt like a fool when I looked at myself in the mirror because I decided to bottle up my feelings rather than politely reminding the woman and Keigo to stop flirting with each other. I wished I could've done something else and changed the situation while I was there, sitting at the table with the two of them.

Right now, it didn't matter, and I decided to go home and wait for Keigo to talk with me. I had enough of this event, and this situation is my breaking point. I dried my tears and put on my coat before going to my car and driving back home.

As I walked out of the bathroom, I could still see Keigo and the woman having a great blast and being comfortable with each other. I ignored my fury and desire to destroy the two of them then walked downstairs to my vehicle. Unbeknownst to me, Keigo used his feathers to keep track of me. He excused himself and decided to follow me to the parking lot.

"Hey, where are you going? The event's not yet over, [Y/N]," Hawks lightly said.

I sighed and replied, "I'm going home, Keigo. I'm tired and want to rest." I choked my tears back, not wanting him to learn that I was crying.

"Are you okay? Is there something wrong? Did someone make you uncomfortable?"

I shook my head and responded, "I don't want to talk about it, Keigo. I'm too tired to explain it." Keigo didn't accept the answer and tried to let my feelings out. I continued holding my tears back because I didn't have the energy to argue with him when he had a good time with her.

"I'm not going to leave until you say what's wrong, [Y/N]! I need to know!"

I shouted and cried out, "You! That's what's wrong right now, Keigo! I am not having a good time because of you!"

Keigo lightly chucked and asked, "What do you mean by that, [Y/N]? I didn't know what was going on, and now you're blaming me for something you cannot fucking explain?"

I cried again and yelled out, "Oh, you still didn't get the message, huh? You were ignoring me all night because you were talking with this one girl! You didn't even ask how I was or bring me up in this situation! I felt so uncomfortable and out of place!"

Keigo shook his head and replied, "Look, I do this all the time, and you decided to have a breakdown right now? We were having a great talk until you began to leave. You're acting like this is the first time I have done this to you."

I wiped my tears and yelled out again, "You don't fucking understand, Keigo! You made me look like a fool! You were acting like I wasn't there and that I wasn't hurt from all of this!"

It was tiring for me to finally let out all of those feelings, but it didn't relieve me because Keigo's ignorance kept coming up. It hurts that he still doesn't get the message and try to blame it on you.

"I'm sorry, [Y/N]. We can talk about this tomorrow. I─"

I interrupted him and responded, "I don't have time and energy right now, Keigo. The best you can do for me right now is to ignore me and go back to that shitty part and have the time of your life with her rather than me."

I unlocked my car and drove away from a heartbroken Keigo. I wiped my tears and went somewhere else than my shared home with him. I hope he gets the message better when he goes back to that bitch. For now, Keigo has to deal with the bottled-up feelings I said to him and try to make it all better.

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