#horribly cropped version for u everybody

[barawrah]

commission for @neurodivernon 💭

[jungkookschin]

academic validation: nineteen: are you gonna make fun of me cause im a weeb

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nerdy!jungkook x itgirl!reader

word count for written part below: 3.4k

author's note: jk's finally making some progress 👀 also chap 13 and chap 19 have different writing styles lmk which one u like more .. im thinking i like the proper capitalization better but idk

taglist: @moonacholy @bluxjun @dimmerlights

Over the years you’ve learned that social media is all fake, an act, simply a facade to persuade everybody into thinking that you are some better version of yourself. . You know this well enough. That's why you don't take anybody's posts seriously anymore. Thirst traps from pretty girls on Instagram that used to make you feel so insecure didn't bother you anymore because you knew that people could alter their image some way or some how to eliminate their flaws an ultimately come off as a more attractive person.

You could play that game too.

When you ended your relationship with Taehyung, your heart shattered into pieces. You realized that you had become so dependent on his daily texts, physical tough, and presence, that you could barely go on without him in your life. You tried to be easy on yourself, refrained from getting mad at yourself because who could blame you?

Taehyung was your first love, first kiss, and first boyfriend. Before you met Taehyung, you were so unexperienced in the romance department, so oblivious to any guy trying to make advances on you. Jennie claims that's why you never noticed how popular you were, why you never noticed how boys thought you were cute and why girls attempted to imitate you.

But Taehyung opened up a new world for you, introducing you to what it was like to feel loved, wanted, and desired on a physical, mental, and spiritual level.

Taehyung was the first person you shed your deepest vulnerabilities to, the first person you ever gave yourself to, which made it so hard to get over him despite the fact that he showed his true colors to you.

You found yourself crying to sleep, eyes red and puffy in the morning. Thank God Jennie recommended the nifty "put a spoon in the freezer and put it over your eyes for 100 seconds" trick to you, or else the whole world would know how heartbroken you were.

You were petrified of people knowing how stupid you were in regards to your relationship with Taehyung. You were incredibly embarrassed that you missed so many red flags, and still naively gave yourself to him.

So that's why you were using social media as a means to pretend that you didn't give a shit, when you really, really did. You decided that you would make it appear as if you were invested solely on self growth, so that you could manifest that into real life.

You did go to the gym on a daily basis, you did work incredibly hard in school to get your grades up, and you did apply to a multitude of scholarships. That’s all you could do, push through it and work on yourself, while slightly exaggerating it on social media. Sure, you met your fitness goals and (some) of your academic goals, but not everything was as picture perfect as it seemed.

You found yourself wanting to indulge in new hobbies. You know, trying new things. You once read that trying new things was one of the best things you could do for yourself. Now, that was an incredibly generalized statement, but you definitely wanted to start in the fashion department.

You and Jennie were always on the look out for the latest trends, cutest outfits, and on point accessories. You and Jennie were also two broke high school students who couldn't afford a lot of these trends. So, you guys often tried to make your own crop tops, dresses, and skirts. But, your projects all ended horribly. The clothes were literally the ugliest clothes you've laid your eyes on and belonged in the deepest darkest pits of hell. There was another thing that caught your eye.. anime. You never cared for anime, but you had just been seeing so many badass edits on your ForYou page on TikTok, that you thought you must check some anime out.

You found yourself desperately stalking Taehyung and Sooyoung on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. You desperately wanted to know how they were doing. Was he being an asshole to her too? Were they really that happy together?

But you had to keep reminding yourself that social media is fake, and not everything seems as it appears.

So, you find yourself actually focusing on yourself rather than Taehyung and Sooyoung, and actually getting better at disregarding whatever Taehyung and Sooyoung were up to. Sure, you checked her Instagram every once in a while, but you found that you were feeling less bitter and more gratified.

Honestly, thank God you and Taehyung ended. You dodged a bullet. You desperately missed the feelings that he gave you. The butterflies you felt every time he publicized his admiration for you, whether it would be posts, compliments, or the feelings of his lips on yours. But you also knew that men are replacable.

But God did you miss the feeling of someone kissing you, someone caressing your face ever so gently before they put their lips on yours. Oh gosh, you were definitely touch deprived.

You shake your head, immediately rebuking the thought and get back to the Physics problems that Jungkook assigned to you. Speaking of Jungkook, four months of tutoring had passed.

You were happy with the work you had done with him, and even happier that your grades had gone up because of him. After the first session, you had felt so awkward and embarrassed that he witnessed your mental breakdown.

When he texted you "are you feeling ok?" You literally replied like in the most professional and formal tone because you thought that it was his vibe, but now you're learning that it's not.

Jungkook is incredibly kind and chill. There's nothing else to it. He wasn't uptight at all, and always treated you with respect, never making you feel stupid for your lack of scientific knowledge. In fact, you found yourself growing an acquaintanceship with him. In a way, you were thankful for Jungkook. He was the sense of normalcy that you needed in your life. It felt like the whole student body was gossipping about you, constantly making inquiries on your status with Taehyung, wondering why yoour relationship with him ended. But Jungkook, he was normal. He was always minding his own business, never prying into your personal life. You were sure that he didn’t even care about you, and that made you feel somewhat relieved. You were happy he was there, and you were sure that he was happy he was getting community service hours.

On Jungkook's end, four months had passed of you and Jungkook sitting in Mr. Moon's class every Tuesday after school. It had been four months of him helping you with your.. unfortunate lack of Physics ability.

Yes, there were sometimes where Jungkook got frustrated whilst tutoring you because how could somebody become so mathematically challenged? However, tutoring you never posed as burden. In fact, it was something he looked forward to every week. Yes, he always had a crush on you, finding you to be unbelievably attractive. But, it wasn’t like he knew you personally besides the occasional greeting.

But now, Jungkook found himself becoming more enamored with you. There were so many things about you that he admired.

Now, Jungkook would consider himself a talented writer. An essay he wrote his junior year analyzing Daunte’s Inferno had received a nationally acclaimed literature award. Of course, Jungkook was a talented writer, and he felt that he could write a beautifully written essay on things he liked about you.

It wasn’t like you were doing anything special anyways, you were just being yourself. And that’s how he knew he was falling for you. You did such an impeccable job penetrating his senses, making his heart twist in different ways.

Number one: the visual aspect.

Jungkook knew you were good looking, pretty, cute. any synonym for attractive would apply. That was something even the entirety of the student body was aware of.

But, being in such close proximity to you every week and seeing your features up close, made you become even more beautiful to him. He found the way your eyes turned into crescents whenever you got a physics problem right adorable. (At first, this was a 1/50 occurrence, but you got better.)

He noticed you had two little moles gracing your left cheekbone. Another above your lip, and two dimples indented on each of your cheeks. The small beauty marks sprinkled across your facial features fascinated him. He found that he was also becoming attracted to every pimple, acne scar, and blemish on your face. He wouldn’t even consider these blemishes flaws, since they enhanced your beauty.

Number two: your personality.

Jungkook knew that you had a tendency to hang around the wrong crowd (ahem.. Taehyung and Jimin). However, he liked that you were able to stay true to yourself and treat everybody with respect.

He crimsoned every time you would persistently thank him for tutoring you. You did that a lot, at the end of every tutoring session.

“Oh my gosh Jungkook, thank you so much! I’m sorry, I was a little slow today. Really thank you so much for putting up with me.” You would stand in the doorway, politely bowing to him as you rambled at the end of every tutoring session.

Jungkook would just awkwardly scratch the back of his head and laugh it off. “Y/N, it really is no problem. Remember, I’m getting community service hours for tutoring you.” Sometimes, you would even offer to bring him coffee from starbucks, which he obviously didn’t want to turn down.

It wasn’t even him that you were nice to. You showered everybody with respect and kindness, and that really showed during your second hour Physics class. You would always made a valiant effort to socialize with everybody in the classroom. He noticed that you remembered lots of details about everybody, and were able to initiate smoothe conversation with them.

“Hey Minhee your keychain is super cute! Where’d you get it from”

“Hey Alex, how’d your speech and debate competition go? I don’t know how you do it. preparing for those competitions seems so stressful.”

“Sora, did you watch the new episode of Euphoria? Cassie’s lost her damn mind.”

You set an enjoyable, at ease atmosphere in the classroom. Okay, maybe Jungkook was exaggerating it since he found you to be so angelic. In reality, AP Physcis was one of the most miserable classes in the entire school. On the first day of school, Mr. Moon literally said that it was the hardest class offered at the school. But hey, at least you were there.

Jungkook was also thoroughly amused every time you playfully bantered with Mr. Moon.

Mr. Moon was one of the sternest and intimidating teachers on classes. He taught some of the most rigorous and difficult classes including AP Physics and AP Calculus BC.

However, you were still able to work your wonders with him. It was obvious that Mr. Moon favored you even though you weren’t one of the best students. Before Jungkook, Mr. Moon even offered his personal time to tutor you. Plus, he bribed Jungkook into becoming your tutor. That had to mean you were a favorite.

Anyways, he remembers on one occasion that there was a quiz literally nobody was prepared for. Not even Jungkook or Jaehyun, and that was saying something.

You approached Mr. Moon, and Jungkook was curious as to what in the world you were going to say.

“Mr. Moon. I, L/N Y/N, am here to make a humble request on behalf ot your second hour Physics class.” You would put your palms together, jot your bottom lip out, and give him your pouty eyes. “I was wondering.. Well.. Can’t you push the quiz back... please? Just one more day.”

Mr. Moon, who normally did not tolerate bullshit pushed his glasses down to the bridge of his nose and let out a chuckle. “Y/N, who chose you as the representative of the class? I think Jungkook or Minhee would be a better option.”

You crossed your arms together. “Mr. Moon, you know I’m the only person with enough courage to approach you with a request like this. C’mon, aren’t you proud of me for daring to step into the lions’ den and ask you this”

Jungkook choked on his drink when you said that, the rest of the class muffling their laughter.

“Lions’ den? Do you guys really find me that intimidating?” His eyes shift to the rest of the class, and everybody avoid eye contact with him.

“See Mr. Moon, call me Daniel or something, but aren’t you proud of me for asking? I think I’m the first student in ths histpry of the school to ask for a quiz extension.”

An amused expression paints your teacher’s face, his eyebrows raising and his lips pursing. “But Y/N, I told everybody about the quix last week. Why didn’t you study?”

And that was when you brought the antics out. “Mr Moon, I did study. I really did. You can even ask Jungkook. He said I improved so much! But yesterday, there were more pressing matters at hand. I had, yes HAD, to go shopping for an outfit for when the cherry blossoms go into bloom. Mr. Moon, visiting the cherry blossoms is a coming of age necessity. You even went there on a first date with your wife! I was so focused on shopping that I totally forgot everything. So could you please push the quiz back… please?” You would ramble on and on, the whole class eavesdropping on this amusing conversation.

“Fine. But only because you remember that I said I took my wife there.” Mr. Moon said as he placed the quizzes back into his folder. He then stood up from his wheel chair and addressed the rest of the class. “This is the only time I will do this for you guys. Next time, don’t ask Y/N to do your dirty work.”

Despite his harsh words, this was how you got the whole class to love you. Like Jungkook, the class was permeated with overachievers who would faint at the thought of getting a B on an assignment. So, they were overwhelmingly grateful that the quiz was pushed back.

In addition to this, Jungkook thought it was amazing that you emitted such a positive aura despite your relationship with Taehyung ended.

Now, Jungkook was perceptive. Of course, he didn’t actually follow you on any of your social media accounts, but he did know how to stalk.

He knew that your relationship with taehyung met its fatal end and that Taehyung moved on literally the next day. The gears in his brain started to move and it clicked, that’s why you were crying.

At the time, you were dealing with an unsupportive (not to mention cheating boyfriend) as well as academic pressure, and Jungkook was no stranger to academic pressure.

He was academically talented, but god did he know how stressful meeting deadlines and learning new concepts were. He admired your perseverance, your effort to improve yourself. That’s what made you so attractive. He had seen your tweets. He knew you were working out and sharpening your mind, and it did become apparent from how you were performing in Physics. You were trying really hard, attentively listening to Jungkook’s words, and the effort paid off. You actually scored a B- on the last quiz.(Yes, the same one that you got pushed back)

The issue was, Jungkook was just awkward. Indeed he was intelligent academically, but not socially. Rationally, he knew that this was the perfect time to make a move on you. He really tried to, he really did. But his efforts simply resulted into little actions that could be regarded as a kind act from a tutor. sometimes, he would muster up the courage to offer you a piece of a gum, or a highly valued and sought after muji mechanical pencil. the fancy pencil should have sent a clear enough message.

He perceived that you weren’t receiving his rather obvious hints. When he confided to Jaehyun about the matter, jaehyun simply rolled his eyes and slapped the back of his neck.Jungkook knew his efforts amounted to nothing.

On cue, Jungkook notices you walking through the classroom door, with two taro bobas in your right hand. “Hi jungkook! i brought you your drink.”

You held out the drink to him and smiled.

Jungkook sends you a smile, accepting the drink and taking a sip of it. “How much do I have to pay you back?”

You playfully tole your eyes and hit his shoulder. “When have you ever paid me back for a drink?”

~

This week’s tutoring session meets its conclusion, and you start putting your notebooks back into your backpack.

Your pause suddenly, and your actions faulter. “Jungkook.. iIhave a question.”

Jungkook sits next to you and attempts to make eye contact. “Shoot.”

You purse your lips and twiddle with your fingers. “Well.. you like anime right?”

Jungkook slowly nods his head. “Yea, I do, why though? You’re not gonna make fun of me for being a weeb, right?”

You immediately shake your head. “Oh goodness no. I hate people like that.” Your facial features scrunch up, and he laughs at that. “Just kidding Y/N, I know you’re not like that.”

You huff and hit his shoulder again. “You better be kidding. But the real reason I’m asking is because I think it’s something I want to get into. I’ve seen a lot of Demon Slayer edits, and it looks really interesting.”

Jungkook wants to immediately reply, and gush about the things he liked about Demon Slayer. Demon Slayer was one of his favorites. But, he pauses and thinks for a moment, analyzing the situation more deeply.

This was the perfect chance to introdouce you to anime, and get to know you better. Could you be implying that you wanted to watch it with him? If you were interested in just the show, you could have just watched it yourself.

The gate was opening, and the light at the end of the tunnel appeared.

“Y/N, Demon Slayer is really good. Especially for new anime watchers. It’s one of the best to start with, because after you watch it you’ll be hooked. Do you maybe wanna go to an internet cafe and watch the first few episodes together?”

You looked up at him and your eyes sparkled. A wide grain appeared on your face.. “Really? Could we please?” You jump up and down with excitement.

Jungkook tries to act smug, shoving his hands in his pockets despite that fact that his heart is beating out of his chest. “Yea, sure. I can take you to the one Jaehyun and I go to after school?”

~

That’s how Jungkook finds himself sharing a seat with you in front of a screen at his favorite internet cafe. He doesn’t even know if you realize that you’re leaning on his shoulder, since your pupils are so focused on the screen. You flinch every time a character throws a punch amidst an action scene, dramatically gasping when a demon appears on the screen.

He’s holding a bag of popcorn in his hand, occasionally offering you some. He promptly answers every question you have concerning the plot of the show. You both share laughs when something funny happens, and jungkook laughts at you every time you dramatically gasp at a semi violent scene.

Jungkook’s feelings for you seem to burst. He feels like he’s on Cloud 9. Here you are, literally pressed up against him, leaning on his shoulder, smelling so pleasant. But what hurts him is that he knows your actions are all platonic.

And he was right, you don’t consider this anything else besides you getting into anime and Jungkook happening to be there.

When he tells you that it’s getting late and walks you to the bus stop, you don’t realize that his chivalrous acts are because he feels something for you.

Jungkook knows that he can do nothing more besides being your tutor, because the last thing he wants to do is push boundaires. But now, he realizes that he’s happy to be there for you, even as a friend, or tutor. He just likes basking in the glow of your presence,

So if he decides to make a move, he will. But only when the time is right. For now, he’s 100% satisfied with just being an acquaintance, or maybe even a friend.