#how do the goth space priests have wills

[asocial-skye]

I think one of the most shocking things I had ever read on this site was the fact that after ROTJ, some dude apparently approached Luke with like, his Dad's will, and just told him, "Congrats, you are the sole beneficiary of Lord Vader's will. Enjoy this castle on the planet where your dad choked your mom and got chopped up and roasted like a marshmallow by his brother/dad. Also here are like 50 billion credits."

I have no idea whether this is real or even canon, but can you fucking imagine. Like, Vader, after finding out that he had a son, a son that he spent the last twenty years thinking that he murdered with his wife (he is two steps from Heathcliffing her mausoleum on Naboo), goes to "yes. I will put my affairs in order, and add my rebel son, who is wanted in every star system, in my fucking will." And then he does. Lucas wants me to believe that Darth Fucking Vader, who promoted his captain like six positions for convenience, actually took the time to put his child in his will, or even has a will.

Also, the question arises of how or even why the Emperor pays him. Like, Vader is the Supreme Leader of the Imperial Forces, and Palpatine should be rejoicing that a position that would normally extract millions of credits per annum is filled by a dude who genuinely does not give a fuck about money. Like, what the fuck you paying him for? SOMEONE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

I suppose the money could come from his spaceship collection, but still. how much are they worth? Does Vader have a bunch of vintage spaceships that cost a bunch that he upkeeps as a hobby? He crashes like, every single one of his ships so a pile of scrap metal can't be worth that much.

In a universe where canon makes as much sense as Ep VII, I broke at Vader and his fucking space Will. Someone please explain this.