#how do these ppl just not gaf i'll never understand

[countkunt]

im so fucking tired.

i just released my latest MRI records (which i sent to my pain clinic a long time ago...) for personal use and found out that i have 2 bulging disks in my neck and may have "Cervical Disk Disorder With Radiculopathy" (i don't understand what "Clinical Indications" is referring to here. is it the diagnosis? its certainly not the reason i was referred to get an MRI, at least not ot my knowledge).

the MRI of my neck was done NOV. 7 and i IMMEDIATELY released the records to the pain clinic ive been going to. this entire time i never received a phone call from SHIELDS or my pain clinic. i went to the clinic on Nov. 16th for radiofrequency ablation for pain at end ends of my hardware and asked the doctor abt the MRI then. he said they never received anything. went back for the second radiofrequency ablation treatment on Nov. 30th and they didn't say shit, then the nurse tried to tell me that my treatment was OVER, and that they dont expect to see me again except to check on my recovery on JAN 14. i said no? i still have several other issues w my back and neck??? and rescheduled the visit to be asap (the 4th).

i called the clinic yesterday asking abt the MRI and that nurse said they've had the records for weeks now, but it seems no one's bothered to look at them. so when were any of yall planning to let me know i have two bulging disks in my neck and possibly/definitely pinched nerve/s????

im the one who had to push for an MRI in the first place since my pain doctor didn't even feel like giving me one, and now he can't even be assed to fucking read the report. i hate doctors so much. i literally spoonfeed them the information they need to treat my pain and fight for the most basic care and they STILL refuse to take me seriously. they can't even be bothered to READ. or be honest, apparently. throwback to 6 YEARS ago when i told my surgeon abt all the symptoms im currently having at 100x the severity they were at then, and all he said was "well you shouldn't" and sent me to PT.

btw i have a thoracic-lumbar spinal fusion, fibromyalgia, and constant muscle spasms, not to mention hip pain (probably from my unevem hips due to scoliosis, which the fusion was not able to totally correct) and all they have me on is 20mg duloxetine and tizanidine. im a dropout and ive been out of work for 6 months and in agony for way longer and im so tired of living like this

[noxiatoxia]

Can you give komahina (toxic yaoi?) headcanons

lemme see here. this is hard bc i dont necessairly have ~komahina~ headcanons i just have headcanons for komaeda and hajime it really has nothing to do with them as a ship;. but uh

ok so here's one. long winded. but i think from what we can gather about hajime he was a bit of a loner child. his parents didnt seem to gaf abt him. so i think he does get attached to people easy. tbh sdr2 was like a miracle scenario in some ways bc there's this guy who has little to no friends (be he never goes out of his way to make them) and then hes stuck with 15 other people his age and he's like i guess i'll talk to them what else can i do....and turns out everyone desires him carnally. tbf he's able to match ppl's freak and he's just good at listening (or pretending to listen) so this makes him popular. so its like ohhh ok we're friends now. hajime is that kind of guy who if he talks to someone once he calls them his friend. but like everyone IS actually his friend. anyways i think if hajime goes a long time without talking to someone he knows he starts to get a little nervous like if its been 1 whole week and he has not even exchanged small talk with like idk mahiru he's like "something is Critically Wrong" so then he'll go find her and be like "hi hows it going". its like disrupting his routine or whatever. i think the time periods for "how long hajime can go without talking to this person" varies depending on the person obviously. like with hiyoko it's like. they don't interact much so if it's been a week and a half he'll be like ohhh ok...maybe i should say something to her....but someone like kazuichi it's like. 3 days hasn't spoken to him once he's like Where Is That Mother Fucker.

this is all to say when it comes to komaeda in a komahina scenario it's devastating bc if he does not see komaeda in a while he gets fucked up abt it in like his anxiety/ptsd spiral his first thought it KOMAEDA IS DEAD. HIS LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then hes like banging on komaeda's cabin door and shit like KOMAEDA. PLEASE.PLEASE. and komaeda is like um hi. flip side: komaeda is also very much like this but with people he's close-close with bc if he does not see hajime in like three days he's like HAJIME IS DEAD. MY LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then he also goes crazy so they have to at least be makin small talk every day to ward off the demons....

as for like. TOXIC YAOI headcanons idk........anything in the chapter 4 area would be bad. i think. i have read so many hate fucking doujins in the chapter 4 time period. while dat all doesnt seem very canon to me (i just dont think hajime be doin all that. nor komaeda really) i see the vision. kamukoma was probably unhealthy on both sides if we want to go there. but like komahina. idk . 1) my brain is fogged up rn so it's hard to think you can ask again later if you desire but 2) really they aren't all that toxic like outside of a killing game environment. komaeda tends to keep to himself and hajime tries to understand people. so like. hajime is very much a "if it sucks hit da bricks" kind of philosopher so if komaeda was being a detriment to his health and he DID have a way out then it's not like he'd stay. hajime does put his foot down when things get too much. (if komaeda was a woman tho she could abuse hajime and he wouldnt gaf #mikanislandmodeending #hiyokoislandmodeending ) but see again komaeda wouldnt be doin all that. i cant see him intentionally hurt hajime post sdr2 canon, at most unintentionally toxic/unhealthy but again i thinnk hajime would in that case try to help him out like couples therapy style or something. WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS. im bad with headcanons it seems.