#hs rose getting up to more trouble; where & when will she be next?

[rosewheresheshouldntbe]

Rose shouldn't be in a little boat on a lake.

Rose absolutely shouldn't be in a little boat on a lake, I don't think she was even taught how to row a boat yet!

Hey, I think someone should go check on her.

Sprite is by @hsrips • 1rst background img https://www.locationscout.net/russian-federation/29071-parking-for-small-fishing-boats-on-the-lake-during-sunset • 2nd background img https://fineartamerica.com/featured/little-boat-upon-the-sea-judy-via-wolff.html

[pitchslapped]

Hi! Do you know of any bechloe fics where Beca rides a motorcycle or any fics where Beca is known as a “ladies man(woman)?

Sorry, this took a while for me to respond. I took a while looking at fics. This was a really interesting set of things you were looking for. Here are some that I could find. Theres a variety of stuff here and some different ships. So I hope you enjoy.

I would love to hear if there are any fics others liked as well.

Beca Riding a Motorcycle

Pitch Perfect Prompts

By @lets-talk-appella

Rated - T

Chapter 4: Black Sabbath

Summary: For Tumblr prompt "Don't do that again! You scared the shit out of me!"

Chapter 5 also a smutty spin-off of this story called Dangerous.

Next Life

By 22_Ti aka @wordsofmyreality

Rated - M

Summary: Amber (future Chloe) felt she made all the wrong choices in life. She gave up finishing her degree. Amber married a man she’s not in love with, a man who is lackadaisical about raising his kids, her stepkids. She’s utterly miserable, and it all stems from the wrong choices she's made along the way. Amber concocts the perfect plan to disappear and start over with a new identity. She finds a romance, and life is perfect… until her love interest discovers she has a past and isn’t who she thought she was. Note: While Bechole is end-game, this story mostly focuses on Chloe’s journey to a better life.

you knock me out (i fall apart)

By Carma19 aka @rebeccamitchell

Rated - M

Summary: Prompt: “Beca’s secretly good at fighting in her tiny lil body and the Bellas finding out about it.”

AKA the pp2!Beca as an underground MMA/cagefighter AU

The motorcycle is not featured heavily but really fits the Beca cagefighter character.

Lost Stars

By BKTheGoldenKnight

Rated - T

Beca, an ex-MotoGP racer, has a tragic past and she had managed to get back on her feet when she met Chloe. However something unexpected happened. Will Beca stay or runaway? AU.

In My Blood

By carma19 aka @rebeccamitchell

Rated - M

Summary: Bechloe // Zombie Apocalypse AU -- In the summer of 2007, an outbreak of a mutated fungus ravaged the United States, transforming its human hosts into aggressive, sound-sensitive creatures known as clickers. Five years into the zombie apocalypse, Chloe Beale, a medic-in-training from the Barden settlement, has a chance run-in with nomadic weapons expert Beca Mitchell and her companions.

Darkness on the Edge of Town

By jm-oc-ja

Rated - T

Beca Mitchell lived every moment of her life to the fullest, she sought out the thrills in life, her favorite thrill was speed. She wouldn't let a thing like college stop that, she also wouldn't have guessed that college would lead her to her biggest most addicting thrill yet, Chloe Beale. How can two women from completely different worlds mesh? AU Beca/Chloe.

Warning this one has a pretty sad ending.

Badass Heart

By Ale0488

Rating - T

Summary: Beca chooses to express her feelings before it's too late.

Asphalt

By Selene Elven

Rated - K

AU. Beca's a motorcyclist. Lilly's motorcycle probably eats souls. Bumper is there, too. And there's someone in a black and gold race suit. In which Beca is one of six racers riding for a small prize pot and she's competitive because HONOR. Or something. One-shot.

Bonus: Chloe riding a motorcycle

Because who doesn't want that idea in their head

The Kissing Booth

By @aliciameade​

Summary: When Beca Mitchell, a late-bloomer who's never-been-kissed, decides to run a kissing booth at her high school's Spring Carnival, she unexpectedly finds herself locking lips with her secret crush - and best friend's sister - Chloe Beale.

Beca the Womanizer Fics

Beca Mitchell Must Die

By chloebeale (tallycravens)

Rated - M

Summary:Aubrey, Cynthia Rose and Stacie are the ex-girlfriends of Beca Mitchell, a well-known serial dater at Barden University. The three set up their former lover to fall for Chloe Beale, a transfer student, so they can watch her get her heart broken. (An AU Pitch Perfect story with the John Tucker Must Die plot.)

The Bet

By BeChloeIsLegit

Rating - M

Summary: Beca Mitchell has managed to sleep with every girl in her High School every year for 3 years. Chloe Beale, now a Senior at Barden University, has been doing the same since her Sophomore year in HS. What happens when Beca comes to Barden and threatens Chloe's position as Barden's #1 womaniser? The Bet is what happens. Who wins? Who loses? And what is the prize?

Everyone loves Beca Mitchell

By Allicat606

Rated - M

Summary: Beca Mitchell knows everyone who meets her falls in love with her. And as a shameless womanizer she loves that. With beautiful women throwing themselves at her will Beca continue her womanizing ways or will one of them capture her heart?

This is a crazy ride of a fic and also a Steca fic.

Sex God

By hollyhwrites

Rated - M

Fat Amy shares a saucy story about her dormroom neighbors with her fellow Bellas & they all agree the person must be a Sex God. UPDATE! No longer a one-shot. DUH! This story has now grown with a life of its own. Our Sex God Beca wants more than

Triple trouble shenanigans.

I am not her

By pleasedontleaveme

Rated - M

Chloe has a sister. She is blonde and popular. Chloe is a redhead and not popular. Everyone wants to be with her sister while no one even knows that Chloe exists. Until they meet Beca. Chloe's sister has a crush on Beca and wants her, but Beca only has eyes for Chloe. On the other hand, Chloe thinks Beca is a player and does not pays attention to her. How will they go through that?

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go!  Spoiler-free again.  I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon?  Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed.  Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post).  Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next:  Any bonuses?  Oh, none!  Phew.  Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often.  :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right.  :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me?  Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings?  As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew.  Bracing myself.  That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along?  Or leave her back there with her meta freakout?  Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas.  (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing.  Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great.  I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not.  That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade.  Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick??  I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands.  Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip??  Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness.  Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice.  And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress.  Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings?  I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes.  PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too.  (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock.  Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design.  --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh.  Cool!

Hero outfit, understated...  her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases.  Works well!  (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough.  Seriously, I don��t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys.  I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this.  (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes.  Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here???  No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7.  That’s fucking disappointing.  How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads?  She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2.  Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected.  This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew.  It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk.  --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood.  Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright.  You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed.  :(

> ==>

...okay you know what?  Never mind.  That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much?  We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn.  :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity?  That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks?  Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips?  And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK.  You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave.  Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something.  Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!??  Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE???  FUCK you.  Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I.  There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm.  Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”.  I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right?  She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop.  I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering?  Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah.  A little worse than my casual list, huh?  Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all.  Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

:(

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C.  :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though.  I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation.  Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

:(

--Oh right.  I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you.  That’s good to remember.  But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years.  :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT.  I should have read one line further.  They DID bring her.  Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her.  ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of.  And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding.  Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard.  Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8!  Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected.  Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.

[lanamemories]

strides in thru a bead curtain swirling a martini glass n accidentally sloshing it onto my own toes without noticing........ Hlo. my name’s nai n i’m 23 (:/ only jst turned it on the 23rd october n frankly i’m nt used to it yet i feel like rose frm the titanic, 84 n withered) frm manchester in the uk. jst gna go ahead n dive right in bt. OH u can find her pinterest here. ok bye

BRIDGET SATTERLEE / CIS-FEMALE. — lana jameson is really making a name for themselves as a sheep. i think that she is studying dance in their junior year at lockwood, living in alpha nu. originally from albany, NY, lana is known to be vivacious & alluring, but can also be childish & impulsive. — nai / 23 / gmt / she/her.

aesthetics: scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out into a cold breeze in just spaghetti strapped silk, a red lightening stripe painted over your eye like a new take on the scarlet letter, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off the bruised cap, doodling penises in condensation instead of sitting still, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, playing where’s waldo with your lipstick in the crowd of a party and finding red smudges on at least six people’s mouths, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open.

BACKGROUND:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like... a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him. jst a leetle bit Fractured in its intentions.

anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much... grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of... b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in

her parents always kind of jst... didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt... quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door

(dissociation tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like.... she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of... drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents including a military father tht he found suffocating)

SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably........ completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x

(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in and out of hospital twice nw n he’s currently dipped off the radar after starting to use. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her. she doesn’t talk abt this tho. when she feels the urge to cry she usually jst smiles

ANYWAY whew tht rly.... took a dark turn there..... chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of... almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched

(violence tw) a mre recent point of history is her involvement w danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine who is possibly the antichrist??? pending investigation). he attended lockwood n lived in a house w a group of other guys. it wsn’t a registered frat bt he essentially...ran it like one it ws kind of a weird set-up where he ws the King Of The Roost. essentially he found out tht lana n zeke van doren (full name it’s official business Babey) slept together n he ended up beating him to near death in front of her bc his pride ws rly bruised since they were meant to be dating (if u can call it tht bc danny’s idea of dating is very Warped). danny gt arrested n the trial is approaching n it’s jst....a whole intense mess...... n he’s quite evil. she hs a restraining order against him while he’s out on bail b4 the trial n he got suspended frm lockwood n it ws jst. a whole dramatic thing....tht ws prob heard abt around campus

PERSONALITY:

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

PLOTS

exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. worlds our oyster fellas!

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p20 reaction

[S] John: Open Wallet? I'm guessing we're through with Calliope and Roxy's perspective for now.

Instinctively I'd say we'll switch to Karkat and Dave now, and see Dave get knocked out. But I'm actually not sure if the fact that Rose fell asleep has anything to do with Jade falling unconscious. With Rose, it could have been due to her migraines and being generally low on energy.

It would be interesting that Jade is undergoing this because of her (severed) ties to the Green Sun, which has now become the Black Hole.

It's a special occurence, in any case. Because the dreambubbles are gone, and even if they weren't, I'm not sure that they still dreamt there after the victory. John's dreams about the Black Hole might have been due to him accumulating memories of doomed Johns.

---

"Jade gasps awake, and begins to spiral.

Her body vibrates, sending waves of space distortion out in all directions." She awakens! ... Unless it's Reload Jade. :P We've had a "Jade and switch" before in this story, remember? And I'm guessing she instinctively calls on her aspect in her duress.

"But there’s nothing to absorb those distortions—no space, no nothing. She’s floating in a void of pure, overwhelming light." Yup, the new dimension replacing the Furthest Ring.

"She feels it even before she feels the pain from the wound in her chest. The vast emptiness surrounding her. The absolute abyss once known as the Furthest Ring." This is Reload Jade! Or, alternatively, post-victory Jade woke up in her double's body. Doesn't seem like a Space thing, but it might be a god tier thing.

Perhaps it's post-victory Jade's consciousness, but even if she were to awake again on Earth C, Reload Jade would continue to function as a separate entity.

Maybe it's due to the nature of their existence outside of canon that they can "connect" with selves inside canon that exist "at the same time" as them, as if they were dream self bodies.

"For a moment, she has the feeling that she’s recalling something. Images and sounds in her head that resemble memories. But the memories aren’t hers, exactly. They seem to be someone else’s." Oooh! Fancy, it seems the connection doesn't work as I expected! It's like her two disjoint selves are connected by the tiniest sliver. Maybe it's how it all started out for Dirk with some of his shards, like Brain Ghost Dirk. Is it perhaps due to her Witch of Space powers? Something about making connections through the vastness of Space, which used to be represented in her as serving as a portal.

It's sad to think that none of the others, Dave and Rose, can experience this. Unless we learn that, somehow, making the connection counts as a free resurrection, independent of the god tier judgment. But I doubt that.

"The memories are slipping away, anyway. Quickly, they dissolve, and soon they’re completely out of her mind’s reach, like she’s waking from a dream." This Jade, at least, isn't far enough on her god tier rung yet. Maybe every god tier has the potential for making the connection, and in case different timelines would run side by side for long enough, two selves could start to grow into the same ultimate self separately, thus becoming one consciousness in multiple bodies. Like Sollux.

"That black hole.

She looks away from it. Quickly, reflexively, the way you turn away from a light source that’s too bright." It's like it's antigonal to her aspect, even though it came from a Spacey thing.

"The hole causes the same kind of discomfort to behold. It’s so dark it hurts. Yet it calls her." Oh, so it's still in tune with her aspect. ... This is such a wrong moment to be reminded of John considering to poop on his desk, but: "And yet, the clean polished surface... It beckons." Could it be a remnant of Alternate Calliope beckoning her, though?

"It’s pure... negative potential. The absence of a future. The thing skewering her through right now is the space between breaths, between atoms. She tries to remove it but has trouble getting a grip on it. It fails to behave like a solid piece of matter, remains lodged within her stubbornly. It hurts, but she won’t finish dying. Not just yet." It's like she's frozen in her death throes by the thing. And perhaps, if it truly is meant to be a quantum vacuum, it's how she's able to "wield" it, as a Space player.

Maybe it's even the reason she's now connected with her Earth C self - maturing god tiers absorb other selves' memories after their death, but since she keeps making new ones...

In the Goblins web comic, a character made an elemental weapon from oblivion itself. I'm kind of reminded of the shard here, now.

"Her memories crease as she moves, filling her mind with the knowledge of the last few hours. She’s sixteen, she thinks, trying to orient herself. And she just fought Lord English after being plucked out of a doomed timeline. At least, if you can even call what she did fighting. But what was that dream? It was significant, she’s knows that much. Dave and Karkat? Why did they jump into her mind as a unit? Earth C. What’s Earth C?" Nice, so she CAN still recall some things if she exercises herself. That's going to prove useful for relaying messages between John and Earth C, perhaps.

"Two different understandings of her world knit into each other as easily as she takes her next breath." ... Well, that's one way for Lonely Jade (as the fans nicknamed her) to at least get a bit of repayment for the three years without her friends on the ship, getting depressed. If this works the other way around as well, I mean.

"Urgency bleeds off her neural receptors, melts right out of her fingertips. She lets herself float, unmoored, carried along an ebb tide in space that only she can perceive." Strange, how it seems she's getting the handle on this so quickly! Although, if Reload Jade is taking the place of a dreamself in this analogy, if we recall Dream Jade didn't let her confusing or missing memories stop her from achieving anything. :P

"She wonders if anyone else survived. She wants to see John." ... Yeah, she's probably going to have a separate adventure, at least for a little while, with the way this is worded.

"She didn’t notice the moment she turned her gaze back toward the black hole. But now she couldn’t look away if she tried. In slow, hazy spirals, it beckons her. The longer she stares at it, the deeper she peers into the folds of infinite atrophy Spirals, like the space sign. I don't think she's really meant to look into that, it seems to be hypnotic. And Space thing or not, that kind of Void is better left to other aspects.

", and the louder it gets. Loud?" ... Don't tell me she can still hear Vriska screaming. I also hope it isn't a higher, ascended form of the Horrorterrors, thank you very much.

"She only now notices there is sound emanating from it, but not the kind physical ears can detect. The hole has a voice—one that becomes material the more the expanding black sphere dominates her senses." ... I don't like the motivations of a Black Hole, not even if it contains the consciousness of Alternate Calliope. Plus, she by nature of being a cherub unfamiliar with human emotions, would have a very different sense of morality.

"She hears the voice fill up the dark space between her ribs. It’s calling to her from the center of the death of everything." The Void is looking back. I tell you, listening to that beckoning call and going near it can't end well. It's like it's this thing from a horror movie, hypnotizing people to walk (or float) to their deaths.

"She kicks off her ruby red slippers, and drifts ever closer." ... Please don't have these slippers be the sole remnant of her later, for John (or Terezi) to find... Because then, I don't want to think about the implication behind John finding his Dad's wallet floating around.

"come." EEEeeeessh. So it really is Alternate Calliope. And, uh, I hope she isn't taking over the narration as well, what with how this isn't a dialog line but more of a sound effect. So, is she calling to everyone now, her persona reduced to being a starved, raving celestial object? D:

"What the fuck?

Forget I said that." See! It WAS a narrative line, and it came from Dirk himself. Eesh, so he felt the reverberations of the call all the way there. And he doesn't know everything about what's happening, much as he likes to tell himself otherwise.

"She considers asking who is speaking, but her mouth stays shut, powerless against the forces transfixing her." I was going to ask where Alternate Calliope learned to hypnotize people, but she's a literal giant black-on-white spiral now.

"Jade has no way of knowing who this voice belongs to. She has no context for understanding the true nature of this being, what role she has played in bringing about the end, and how long she has been waiting for this. She has no idea. But I do." ... Are we to be getting an alternate backstory for Alternate Calliope now? A more sinister one. With how Dirk was phrasing this, it seems to imply her intentions aren't benign, I mean. Unless Jade is to bring her a final piece of salvation from her current state, but how even.

"The dead cherub is making her move." ... She's been playing the REALLY long game, hasn't she? I guess the more out-there fan theories, of a second boss behind Lord English, like what (Tavros) alluded to, are being proven correctly. ... I kind of feel like when we learned Dirk and Roxy were actually living in the future during [S] Enter. Homestuck keeps surprising by proving out-there theories correct, even after the end.

"We should get the fuck out of here. Let’s see what Dave’s up to, okay?" Pffff, Dirk is schedaddling. I'm guessing when we're John again, it might not be entirely his idea, since the situation is upsetting him as well.

So, Alternate Calliope seems to have deviated from the path of the benefactor, that green-blooded cherubs normally follow. I mean, continuing to exist and consume everything after Lord English was taken care of - it doesn't seem like she's planning anything nice.

Well now. This was another thing I didn't see coming. Good for you, Homestuck, keep up that level of zany, unexpected yet explainable developments, I missed it!

[ofjcsie]

werd. it meme, kayla, with yet another muse. this is my bad bitch josie, lets get to know her shall we

「 ISKRA LAWRENCE, CISFEMALE, TWENTY-FOUR, JESY NELSON. 」┈did you read that latest viral gossip issue on JOSIE PRYOR? she is the VOCALIST in ETHEREAL, one of my favorite POP groups. they’ve been releasing music for ONE YEAR now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last YEAR. get this, i think i heard SHE MARRIED A STRANGER IN LAS VEGAS. they’re known as the THE CATACLYSMIC of the music industry, since they have a rep for being BENEVOLENT but TENACIOUS, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

firstly im gonna apologize if this is all over the place. im gonna try to organize it but i cant make any promises.

BASICS

full name is josephine iridessa pryor, but goes by josie for the most part

named after her maternal grandfather, joseph.

originally from tallahassee, florida. ur basic suburban middle class white family. one older sister. her mom owned her own bakery and her dad was a paralegal.

ex high school cheerleader

one tough cookie

AESTHETIC

leather jackets, skin tight jeans, fishnets, roses with the thorns still on the stem, red nail polish, fangs, messy hair, scars covered by tattoos, the moon at midnight, high heeled boots, dancing like nobody’s watching, and structured handbags.

HEADCANONS (?)

literally ppl are always like “josie can’t sing. she’s inconsistent.” or “she’s the ugly one” or rlly mean Ugly comments about her body and just general ugly body shaming. like she Knows she’s not the same size as her bandmates but like ???? she loves herself??? it took her a long time to get to this self love level and she loves her girls so she’s always telling people to fuck off

literally gets in trouble with management for telling body shamers in her comments or ppl that are generally rude to her and/or ethereal to fuck off. probably has blocked some accounts (even stan ones sdscdcs) like jesy has

cute but will 1000000000000% fight u if u make her mad, say bad things about ppl she cares about, or start body shaming

body posi, self love, and self care activist and supporter of the #metoo movement as it relates to her past

since her mom had a bakery, she worked there in hs and knows her way with cupcakes

hates wine & has never done hard drugs

i rlly cant stress enough how she will fight anyone and everyone for being an asshole

Straight (shes like my only straight character it’s Wild)

never had a serious relationship because she’s always been guarded but she has been in love, or at least thought it was love

curvy > plus sized bc she is by no means “plus” and knows this. by measurement/fashion standards she is between straight size and plus, so just go with curve/curvy

DETAILS (?)

TRIGGER WARNING FOR BODY/FAT SHAMING & SEXUAL ASSAULT:  josie’s curves developed faster than other girls her age, so even in like 6th grade ppl were calling her rlly ugly names because her hips had grown and saying things about her, even going as far as slut shaming and oversexualizing her developing body like gross. around this time someone she thought was a friend would repeatedly touch her without her permission (also she was like 13 and knew absolutely no better than ‘uh he’s my pal so i guess it’s alright if he touches between my legs when i dont want him to). it rlly tore her down and she felt like she was nothing. that low self esteem rlly followed her into high school. the bullying kinda morphed more into unwanted glares from boys, girls calling her a sl*t, and ppl just being generally mean because of her body shape. her sophomore year she tried out for the jv cheerleading squad bc she really just wanted to be involved and have school spirit, plus she had a friend who was doing it. things were rad, she made the team, all was good, she rlly liked it and even wanted to go out for varsity the next year. junior year came around and she was on jv again, but their coach ended up quitting so the trainer stepped in. he was nice to all the girls bc he’d known them and was working with them but rlly this was just grooming tbh, like he kinda made it seem like he was hte only one in their corner if they were having problems. she got a weird feeling from him but folks were just kinda like “eh you’re over-reacting, it was just a hug” but when they went away to cheer camp it was like damn what a change. he got a little bit violent and ut was just generally a Not Fun experience, like yelling at the girls and embarrassing them to the point where other coaches and such were like “uh he needs to chill tf out”. to make everything worse one of the nights he knocked on the door of the room josie was staying in, saying he wanted to talk to her, she let him in and long story short he got handsy. when she told school authorities what happened, it was her word against his, but after testimony from teammates about his behavior at camp and everything, the school gave him an ultimatum: resign or be fired and go to court.. lmao guess which he took. so basically he got away with molesting her and being an abusive bag of dicks. END OF TRIGGER

for a long time she blamed herself bc she thought she was too naive or maybe if she hadn’t opened the door, or it was all her fault and she let it happen. sometimes she still has self doubt moments where she thinks about “but what if....” or she says “at least it wasn’t as bad as...” she’s very passionate about the metoo movement tho, and abusers being held accountable for their actions (no matter their gender or sexuality)

she doesnt really talk about what happened in detail, but she has been vocal about the metoo movement and she stands with her #MeToo sisters because she’s been there

since cheer was like “aha nop never again” senior year she got involved in the drama club. she’d sang in church choir before, but nothing Super Serious. but the fall production of grease really caught her eye, so, she auditioned and voila, Sandy. 

after graduation, she started community college in musical theater, still working at the bakery but she fuckin wanted to leave florida (dont... we all??) so she used the money she saved from the bakery, bought a one way bus ticket, and ended up in austin texas... not exactly where she wanted to be, but it was out of florida.

she started singing at bars and trying to get involved with local small theater productions/companies, but that really just was not cutting it. so she asked her dad for some moolah and she moved to los angeles. for a long time she lived in a very very shitty apartment complex (if u rememerbr YEARS ago there was a show on the cw called the complex... it was about struggling young actors/musicians living in one place.. lowkey it was good but it got cancelled before season 2 wow shocker amirite) her agent was kinda bad, like joey’s from friends, but the one thing he got right was booking her an audition for a new girl group that a label was putting together. and boom, ethereal.

AS for the vegas thing lmAO.... i’ve been feeling like it was kind of recent. like, ethereal had already formed or was right at the beginning of the four girls coming together. (i still gotta work out those kinks) but essentially she went to vegas and on a Wild night, married a stranger. all she remembers from the memory clips are they met at the casino, there’s a chapel, back in her hotel room, a charge on her credit card for the honeymoon room service package, and the next morning she woke up alone in bed with a huge fuckin headache and a cheap ring on her finger. she was 22 and dumb. but aint we all?? she’s still technically married, but does NOT wear a ring or talk at all about having a husband because she doesnt know the dude. like literally can’t find him lmao, can’t find him to get that shit annulled or file for divorce. therefore, technically married.

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS

i dont have a Ton but some that i’d love to have established are a mentor (probably someone who is older or more accustomed to fame), a roommate or ex-roommate (could be multiple), a celebrity crush (again, probably more fmaous), someone she tells everything to (they’d probably know about the vegas thing and her history regarding sexual assualt)

other than that, hmu or like this if u wanna plot??? im down for anything????

[the-condesce-did-nothing-wrong]

The Toxic State of the Homestuck Fandom (Mainly the Femslash Fandom)

Y'know, I feel like the Grimdorks Uprising is a representation of everything toxic in the Homestuck community, and it especially shows just how toxic the Femslash fandom is.

I’m not trying to resurrect a discourse here, but I am using it as an example. There’s a lot of things that showed me just how entitled, aggressive, and straight up petty the HS femslash fandom can be.

Now, disclaimer before I get started. This is very much about the extremist femslash fans who feel the need to:

1. Shit on any ship that isn’t Femslash (mostly het) because it’s not Femslash.
 2. Express Blatant Biphobia and refuse to acknowledge or outright bash Bisexual headcanons. See: constantly claiming Roxy or Terezi are Lesbians despite clearly being Bisexual and getting angry with people who headcanon Rose as Bisexual. 
 3. The rampant Misandry. I get that you’re not going to focus on men, but repeatedly bashing male character or stating they’re all incompetent while the girls are all perfect competent badasses is fucking gross. Stop it.
 4. Bully and harass fans of ships because the ships in question are ‘bad’, either because of subjective tastes or because it violates the tumblr shipping principles, mainly the ‘Don’t ship characters outside of their sexuality (unless they’re straight)’ rule. 5. Adding to the above: Spamming the tags of said ships either with passive-aggressive art or just accusing everyone who likes the ship of Then getting mad that the shippers are upset and/or retaliating, as if you didn’t just; oh, I don’t know, accuse people of being hateful or inherently awful people just because they like a ship with different characteristics from yours. 6. Acting incredibly entitled to female characters. 7. This cancer, which is a combination of the first three.

I’m certainly not trying to say that all Femslash fans are like this. In fact, I see several Femslash fans who are actually respectful, nice, and generally just cool people. But the toxic and extremist parts of the fandom is hard to ignore. It gets to the point where I’ve pretty much experienced Pavlovian conditioning to avoid nearly every Femslash fan I come across because I’ve associated them with this toxic behavior.

But what I really want to stress here that your community isn’t doomed. I mean, the more forgiving part of me even believes this Toxicity is a side effect of this hellsite we use. Not saying that the toxic aspects of the fandom is excusable, but it just explains where they may come from and why. Calling out this behavior is the first step to making sure it’s healthy and generally non-toxic to everyone involved, even to people outside the community. When you let this type of behavior go unchecked, sooner or later you’re going to have some problems. Ex: Voltron Fandom. Or, fuck, the DDADDS fandom. That game hasn’t been out a week (As of when this post was made) and look what this hellsite did to the fandom.

To Clarify one last time before I get started: It’s the Femslash extremists I have a problem with, not the lesbians or the Femslashers in general.

Now, I believe this Uprising has it’s origins in a post (That I cannot find right now, nor would want to because I don’t want the OP to be harassed) where someone basically said ‘Grimdorks works better for Jaderose because they’re both dorks who went grimdark’. I don’t think it really blew up, mostly because the last time I remembering seeing it had… maybe less then 50 notes? So the only explanation I have is that the creator or the people who interacted with the post agreed and shared it with other Homestuck fans on forums, tumblr, or discord.

Pretty harmless in and of itself, since everyone knew the ship name belonged to Johnrose (As the reasoning behind it was John and Rose were dorks and Rose went Grimdark) and it was mostly just a joke/fun little introspection by someone.

I don’t know what happened in the days leading up to the Uprising, but I imagine it went something like this (Note: Since this is me theorizing; I could always be wrong, so PLEASE understand that when reading this):

1. Some people are talking about Jaderose or just ship names in general, and someone brings up how Grimdorks would fit Jaderose. 2. Some people agree, and some point out that Johnrose is already called Grimdorks. 3. There may or may not be some people in this discussion who hate Johnrose. Perhaps they just find it boring, maybe they just don’t see it, maybe they dislike it because they feel it erases Rose’s relationship with Kanaya or her sexuality, and maybe it could be all of the above. 4. Someone with any of the reasons listed or not listed above could have suggested taking the Grimdorks ship name for Jaderose. 5. People agree, they start discussing it, and some people or just one person decides to make a blog to spearhead the Uprising. 6. Blogs similar to the original crop up. 7. Grimdorks fan wakes up and sees a random Jaderose post on their dash thanks to Tag tracker. 8. ??? 9. Shitstorm.

So, first off: I think what this best shows is this bizarre sense of entitlement Femslash extremists have. I mean seriously, the idea that you can just ‘reclaim’ a ship name that’s about 5+ years old is pretty damn entitled. You’re kind of implying that it’s stolen, even though it was possibly made by Johnrose shippers and it was certainly made for them. If anything, Jaderose shippers were the ones trying to steal it, even though they have the arguably superior stand ship name ‘Guns n Roses’.

Next is the general hypocrisy of the discourse.

Now, we can argue about Rose’s sexuality until the cows come home, but one other reason I see being touted around for why you can’t ship Johnrose is ‘Rose is married’. The main problem I have with this is how these people say this… then turn a blind eye to any other ship that includes Rose. Hell, they might even multiship Rose. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to multiship, but when you say ‘Rose is Married’ against a ship that includes Rose, then ignore another ship that includes her, how do you not see the hypocrisy? This is especially jarring since the Grimdorks Uprising was done by Jaderose shippers, or at the very least people were using Jaderose as the ‘face’ of the Uprising, so to speak.

Next up is some of the more… uh, Biphobic stuff in the uprising. Now, I understand that Rose’s sexuality is kind of vague. I mean, sure, it’s entirely in character for Rose to have been flirting with Dave ironically. But can you really blame some people for having trouble sifting through Rose’s lavender maze of irony and Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness? Even Kanaya had trouble understanding this snarky broad.

Regardless, telling people thay can’t Headcanon Rose as Bisexual because it’s ‘Erasing Lesbians’ is um… kinda… I dunno, sketchy? I mean assuming you’re not just saying it’s because lesbians untainted by men are rare, what part of ‘Bisexual’ is scary to you? It’s not like saying Rose would enjoy kissing boys is going to degrade her canon love for Kanaya. Or, hell, even that she would do so while in a committed relationship with Kanaya. So… I guess it’s just down to preference? There’s always going to be headcanons you don’t like, but I suppose the best thing to do is just leave these people to their own devices. :V

And finally, the pettiness and aggression of the whole thing.

When you look at this whole discourse, it’s just petty. You’re trying to take a ship name and claim it for a different ship, and you’re just being a giant asshole on top of that. I know it was a stupid thing to get up in arms about, but really, with all the factors I listed above, it’s a little difficult not to get annoyed. Especially when you combine it with shit like this, it’s just icing on the cake of shitty behavior! Seriously, how else is a Johnrose fan supposed to take people spamming their tag with an irrelevant ship and accusing them of being an inherently awful people just for shipping as anything other than aggressive?

Even worse, when people start calling them out for it, these people have the gall to play victim and hide behind their labels as if it justifies this behavior! Or, even worse, try to make it one big joke. Sorry, but bullying is bullying, no matter what reasoning or intentions you have behind it.

Now that we’ve reached the end, I’m sure at one of you is wondering how to fix the fandom. The most simplest solution I have?

1. Don’t partake in behavior such as the six points listed above 2. Actively discourage such behavior 3. Understand that you do not run the fandom 4. Understand that you no say in how a person wants to enjoy Homestuck 5. Understand that shipping has no bearing on canon or a person’s beliefs and morality. 6. Understand that you have the responsibility to blacklist, block and distance yourself from ships you don’t like 7. Only step in when you believe a fan is hurting others, such as harassment or bullying.

[sophdlpaz]

LIVE

Three weeks ago, two good friends of mine passed away.

Zharmai was my first bestfriend in St. Scho. We were classmates from Grade 1-5 and we were inseparable during those times, almost literally. We were always together during break time, we were always next to each other in our lines. We had common clubs together. 

She lived in San Mateo and at that time, there weren’t any landlines yet in their area. When my dad had that ice shaver-looking cellphone, I always asked for his permission to use it so I can call Zhai. There were a few times when I got to go to their house, of course with my mom (I just can’t recall the occasion). Feeling ko kasi sobrang layo na ng bahay niya kaya paminsan-minsan lang ako makapunta. 

We kind of drifted apart in high school, probably because we didn’t belong to the same sections anymore (except in 4th year). We had different sets of friends/barkadas but we remained to be good friends. I do remember inviting her at my house when I celebrated my 14th birthday. She managed to mingle with my new barkada and we even had studio pics taken together. (We went to Robinsons Metro East after having our meal at home.) She was even the one who encouraged me to join the Glee Club on our last year (and fortunately, I was accepted, even got in the core group, represented the school in a competition, and won).

Zhai was like a perfect package of talent and wit. I can recall waiting for her in Gate 1 while she took her piano lessons across the street. She also had been associated with Glee Club ever since. And she won the graduation song writing contest (of course, we sang her song during our HS graduation). She managed to be always one of the top students in class. I remember we were 2 of the 5 students selected for a Math training or something when we were in Grade 4 or 5, haha. What the eff, nerds haha. And she was always elected as the president of her class when we were in HS. Fast forward, Zhai successfully became a lawyer and I heard she took high-profile cases. She had almost everything!

On top of that, she had been a great friend. I can’t recall a major fight that we had when we were young. We didn’t have like a pet name or something but when we grew older, we decided to call each other “poop”, I don’t know why, hahaha. Very classy, right? Hahaha. I also remember, she was our designated make-up artist in Glee Club when we were already doing the competition. And just recently, I was able to consult her for some legal stuff before she had her Euro trip.

After that trip, she got sick and eventually diagnosed with leukemia. Her doctor and family already came up with her treatment plan. Everything was like under control. She was still fine when she was confined until her throat got constricted; she had trouble breathing. She needed to be sedated so she can be intubated. She was transferred to the ICU. She had five cardiac arrests. Three days after knowing about her illness, Zhai died.

Mares was one of my kabarkadas in Kadacingko (yeah, we had that clingy phase, even naming our barkada haha.) (Kadacingko because our anniversary is November 5 hahaha, get it? We had a barkada name, a barkada notebook where we wrote to update each of us about our lives haha, and a barkada bag that each of us should use for a week). Our whole barkada was formed in our first year class (I - St. Rose of Lima). I don’t really remember the time when we just decided to hang out with each other, haha. But I do know we were all groupmates for a certain English play project. The portrayal of the life of San Lorenzo Ruiz was assigned to us and we had to have practices even on weekends. But the most memorable rehearsal we had was in Kish’s house (That was when I met my first boyfriend. Anywaaaaaayyyy...) Since then, we were always together. There’s this small mall across our school (We call it S’Mall, witty right?) and we go there just to hang out in Mcdo. Actually, we weren’t allowed to go there in our uniforms but we were badass like that. (Weird lang kasi oorder lang kami ng same food and just sit there. But that’s how we defined “tambay” that time.) 

I also remember making Mares as my “messenger”, hahahaha shet. She lived in the same village as my then-boyfriend and since we couldn’t see each other often (bawal pa kong magboyfriend that time, pasaway haha), we wrote letters to each other, what the fuck hahaha. And so I asked Mares the favor to hand my letters to him and v.v. Mares was so supportive, right? Hahaha.

Mares went to La Salle and I to ADMU in college. The whole barkada didn’t have time to see each other during these years but I do remember Mares teasing me in her Friendster testimonial that I will be her COO when she becomes the CEO/Chairman of her own company. We rarely talked to each other but she still managed to bully me hahaha (because we went to rival schools).

Mares and I weren’t really that close in the barkada. I mean, we were a lot in the group so you get to be closer to just at least one of them. Pero siya karamay ko sa mga kalokohan. I remember it was just the two of us who got ear bridge piercings but we had to remove them when we were in school because bawal. When we had our vacation in Pangasinan when Elaine went home from US, we drank liquor like it was water. We had fun caving adventures and cliff divings. She was like the epitome of YOLO x Young, Wild, and Free. She was really carefree at that time.

Then on the year of 2013, Mei, Mares, Wyn, and I went to Eastwood to hang out and have dinner. That was the time when Mares mentioned that she was feeling something bulging on her neck. We told her to have it checked. A few months after, Kish, Kish’s then-partner, Mares, and I went to have drinks. Mares was already wearing a scarf that time. The bulge became bigger and Kish (med student that time) said that it was inflammed. We didn’t think that it was a big of a deal. We were even planning our next Young, Wild, and Free session. Then she dropped the bomb a few days after. She messaged us on Twitter that she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. But she said that it’s the curable type so there’s nothing to be worried about.

Mares had this 180-degree turn in her life. She became more spiritually addicted. When I was suffering from depression in  2013-2014, she never “left” me. She was making me strong spiritually; she let me hold on to her and to God. That was when my friendship with Mares became deeper. She then invited me to join The Feast and that was when my life changed altogether. Even if she was sick, she managed to attend sessions with me, served in a couple of the ministries there. She was just too spiritually pumped up. In 2014 or early 2015, our prayers were answered; she had partial remission. 

November 2015, I was attending the Kerygma Conference and at that time, Mares just got home from her trip to Japan. She told me that she was coughing with blood. I told Kish (already a doctor at that time) about it and she said that wasn’t a good sign. It turned out that she had a relapse; her tumor became bigger, affecting her lungs. She went through chemo sessions but the tumor was really aggressive. I remember she was advised by the doctor to take another round of chemo with higher dosage of meds but she declined. She took alternative treatments; she just didn’t want to give up, she wanted to be well. Starting 2016, she was in and out of the hospital. She had several debridement operations for her chest wound. She always had difficulties in breathing. There was this time, I think that was August or September in 2017 when I visited her in the hospital with Wyn. I let her speak to Kish on the phone. Afterwards, I asked Kish about her thoughts and she gave Mares about two more months to live. She fought and stayed a bit more. That’s how strong and brave Mares was.

On the night of October 21, I got a call from Jyl, one of my Glee clubmates in HS. We haven’t talked to each other for a long time so I found it odd. She told me about Zhai and we agreed to visit her when Zhai’s condition becomes stable. After three hours, she called me again but since I was already sleeping, I missed her call. I got my phone and read a message from Mares’ ate saying that she passed away. I forgot to give a return call to Jyl because I was already grieving on Mares’ death but she messaged to tell me that Zhai also passed away. I felt like I was splashed with ice cold water on my face. I just didn’t know what to feel anymore at that time. What the fuck, really, I just lost two friends in one night?! I was like, “REALLY GOD?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?”

And maybe the message that God was trying to relay to me was: LIVE.

Take care of your body. I realized the value of healthy eating and exercise even more. I know I owe myself and my family good health. Everything sounds cliche but it pays to have that kind of discipline. I take so much effort to undergo IF and take regular runs and workouts. As much as possible, I resist taking sodas, sweets, instant food, and fastfood. I still wanna bear a child (if God permits) and have enough strength to carry him/her. I still wanna work for my family. I need to have that same level of energy as I take more loads of work (full time + part time combined). I don't want to be a burden to my family; I don't want them to incur so much costs if I acquire a major illness. I still wanna live longer.

Take care of your heart. What happened to Mares hit our whole barkada really hard. Most of my kabarkadas are doctors and nurses and it's really difficult for us to find time to meet. And while we don't get to see each other, we drifted apart even more. It was only Mares (and her condition) that was like binding us. Then Wyn left this message in our group chat, "Give time for each other no matter what." And I totally agree. It also hit me hard as an ate and daughter because I rarely make time for my family to like really bond. I usually go out or sleep, having less interaction with them. I would reason out that my work is too tiring and that I need some time off outside or some rest. But thinking about it, why am I not making time for the very reasons why I'm working my ass off? Everything will be completely nonsense. I usually make time for my friends but I must also make sure that I spend some of my time too with my family.

Take care of your mind and soul. I was really having a depressive mood that time. On that particular Sunday, I just stayed in, didn’t serve in Sunday school and didn’t hear mass. I didn’t have the energy to give my best at work that week. But then, I was like, what the fuck?! Mares and Zhai were both struggling to breathe and live a bit longer while I was sulking in thoughts resulted from too much negative thinking, making me more depressed. I was fucking wasting my days away. More bad stuff continued to rattle me after their death. I took time to absorb and cried over them. I know people said it's okay to not be okay sometimes but I think I had too much of that already. I needed to pick myself up. I have to be mentally tough or else I may not survive another day. I went back to God, said a major apology prayer for drifting so far away from Him. I didn't have Mares anymore to share my fears so I knew I had no choice but to turn to Him again. Even though I still feel sad, I can feel that my heart is at peace because I know I made better decisions now for myself.

As they say, life's fucking tough. But I've proven so many times that I'm tougher. I can't waste another day. I have to live.

[bladekindeyewear]

Bloggin’ bout HS^2′s second upd8 continued.  > (==>)

And it had felt so real, almost like he could have reached out and touched him--

--Yeah, the next page is gonna be BGDirk just standing there like I saw before I read the update, right?

> (==>)

> (==>)

Two pages. Close enough.

> (==>)

Hah!  Get fucked, Dirk.  (Even if you’re supposedly one of the better Dirks.)

> (==>)

Yep, all see-thru and everything.

DIRK: You passed out in a puddle of your own drool. And what the fuck is that on your face? JAKE: My face? What do you mean on my face? DIRK: The moustache, Jake. Who’s idea was that. JAKE: Oh! You dont like it? DIRK: I didn’t say that.

Oh come the fuck on.  He looks good in a mustache, Jane-influence or no Jane-influence.

DIRK: We’ve had this conversation before, dingus. I’m you. And I’m me. But I only exist because of your powers. The fact that I’m manifesting here, in the new universe, outside of a dream, is evidence in itself for just how absolutely boned you are.

Now what exactly do you mean by that last part?  How is this a sign of trouble?

--Is it because this Dirk thinks he’s needed?  And therefore shit will be going down?

DIRK: You’ve been a useless sack of shit for two decades. I’m here to kick your ass back into active duty.

...Hm.

I mean, Jake MIGHT be able to help stop this stupid goddamn war, but this IS Dirk trying to help him, so...

JAKE: And what side am i supposed to be fighting on? for jane or against her? DIRK: Against her. Obviously. What the fuck, dude.

Pffff.

JAKE: But you were the one who wanted her to run in the first place! You wrote her bloody speeches! DIRK: Yeah, I did. And every single one of them kicked ass. I wanted Jane to be the democratically elected president. Not a cake-slinging Jeff Bezos with a great rack.

Pfff.  I mean, you didn’t do a great job the first way, either.  It’s heavily implied things in Canon-land were about to go to shit too.

Not as FAR to shit, nor as quickly, but still to shit.  So, really, how DIFFERENT is this from the way you wanted it done, Dirk?  How can you claim this isn’t half YOUR fuck-up too?

DIRK: Don’t worry about it. The point is, you have a chance to make a difference. You’re in the perfect position to infiltrate her operation.

Oh hell no.  Don’t send him back in THERE you utter horse’s ass!  How could THAT be good for his mental health!? What the fuck about Tavros?!?

DIRK: That’s horseshit and we both know it. Jane would take you back in a second. She loves you.

I think Jane’s definition of “taking him back” would be a bit broader than his body or soul could fucking afford.

> (==>)

Eugh.  You really liked the Condesce’s way of doing things right down to her style, huh?  To think you used to love the spoon.  Is that a fucking spork?  Is that zilly Battlespork your go-to weapon now?

Also, it took me a moment to realize those green and orange silhouettes were Jake and BGDirk.  I was a little like “how did Rose get here?!?”.

> (==>)

Have I mentioned how good all this art is?  So much attention being paid to the use of color, to making everything look so soft and streamlined?

Looks like she’s going in for at LEAST a hug.  And the art style might be mercifully light on showing us indulgent details of just how asset-laden Jane is supposed to be.  Shots of Jake’s manly bod aside, something in me doesn’t like the traditionally-sexualized stuff pushed like that in a canon that’s been light on it for so long...

> (==>)

Oh, that... THAT looks fake.  Or like, she’s about to turn around and happily wail on his ass or something.

JANE: Boo hoo hoo! Oh, Jake! Something awful has happened! JAKE: It--it has? You mean more awful than usual? JANE: The opposition has taken Tavros, Jake. They’ve finally shown their true colors. I knew it was only a matter of time before they attacked our family directly!

.....Ah.  Well, that explains it.  She’d never cry like that about HIM returning AFTER STEPPING OUT ON HER.

It’s then that Jake realizes that Jane isn’t mad because she’d never realized he was gone.

Poor pages, huh?  All their most dramatic gestures always undercut.

...It seems like we might see Candy kind of resolved in less of a fucked-up worldstate after all, at this rate?

She seems to have forgotten that she’d been cross with him the last time they met, because now that Gamzee is gone, there’s no one left to talk to.

It’s true. Gamzee’s absence always improves things.

> (==>)

All of it is made worse by the occasional wry glint in her eye, or moment of self-deprecation in the slant of her mouth. It reminds him of the Jane he used to know. Or the Jane he thought he used to know.

Ambition is a hell of a thing.  Seems like she’s drunk of it almost as deeply as Prince Dirk.  I’d imagine this could be a pretty consistent thing with really active Life players when they get actual power, huh?  The way it just gathers to Life players in all its forms -- power over others, status, wealth -- it’s easy to start to leverage it in ways that constitute abuse of power over others from a Riddle perspective.

At first Dirk stands at Jake’s elbow, a one-ghost support staff, before he appears to lose interest in Jane’s rant and wanders off across the office, reading the spines of books and spending way too long staring at a startlingly phallic piece of installation art,

--PLEASE let us see it.

, the provenance of which Jake doesn’t know, but could hazard a guess it wore a codpiece.

Nope, never mind. Interest lost.

> (==>)

Then he settles on Jane’s desk, propping his ghost butt there and sort of just...well. Here’s a picture of what he does.

Um.

Where is this going?

> (==>)

Oh, so the BEST option, then.  :D

Okay. That’s a bit of an exaggeration.

Boooooo.

> (==>)

--Alright, forgiven.

he’s thoroughly exhausted from attempting to pay attention to his supervillain wife while trying not to look at the crotch of a ghost man from his brain.

...Okay, hold up.  BGDirk, are you trying to steer him into doing this for self-indulgent, non-comedic purposes? Or is this a bit of Prince Dirk in there?  (I mean... I can’t definitively say Jake wouldn’t have wanted this.)

And I’m still wondering how all of this is going to be relevant.  IF it’s going to be relevant.  Despite promises to the contrary that are seemingly being ignored.

> (==>)

DIRK: All according to keikaku.

Fuck you.

JAKE: i really didnt think id fall off the wagon so quickly. I dont think being here is good for my emotions to be honest. DIRK: Yeah, probably not. But that’s okay. They don’t matter. JAKE: Oh.

Yeah, Dirk, you suck at this more than you know.  This ain’t going to go as well as you “hope” I don’t think.

DIRK: Don’t know anything about stiff lips, dude. But that’s not what I mean. It’s not because you’re a man. You’re a god. JAKE: Oh right. That. DIRK: The world comes first, even at the expense of all your relationships and personal happiness. That’s what being a hero means. JAKE: I guess...i never really thought about it like that.

You’re also not guaranteed to be fucking right, you know.

There are definitely dichotomies where what was best for the world wasn’t best for the person, so far, and vice versa in Homestuck.  But Dirk’s taking his anime-flavored principles as gospel as usual, and ignoring, oh I dunno, the impact of the heart in all of this.  Some people, ESPECIALLY JAKE and other Pages so far, CAN’T operate at their best until they’re at least reasonably healthy and sure of themselves, and investments to that effect are essential to letting them slowly realize their full potential.  Brain Ghost Dirk is likely making the same goddamn mistake he made with his overbearing Dirkbot back on Jake’s island.

> (==>)

DIRK: Think what you want about Jane, but at least she realizes that none of you can ever be normal, and she never bothered to try. Can it really be a god-complex if you’re actually a god? DIRK: People like us don’t get happy endings.

...Yup.  This is the fucked-over part of Dirk’s worldview coming in full play, here.  And he believes in it so strongly that he couldn’t even fucking leave NON-CANON alone anymore.  Fuck.

JAKE: Thats bleak dirk i dont think i could possibly believe that!

Mmmhmm.

DIRK: Yeah. That’s probably more a Dirk thought than a Jake one. I told you, it’s hard to tell sometimes. JAKE: Is...is that really how dirk felt the whole gosh darned time?

Mmmhmm.

> (==>)

Last page of the upd8.  Well... all I can say is, it’s a good thing he’s a fucking ghost here.  And half Jake, at that.  At least that can limit the damage.  Hopefully giving Jake just enough of a kick in the doing-something direction without being so overbearing that he makes things worse, making for a balance of...

...Wait.

Wait, is that why we’re here?

Maybe that finally makes some sense of all this.  Of this cut, of this small violation of that last sentence in Meat, of--  ah, yeah, I might be on to something here!  Only maybe, but still--!

We’re quite possibly bearing witness to a realm of influence where, through measures outside of his control, Dirk has a balanced impact.  Where this same ideology of his, tempered by Jake’s hopeful mindset and Dirk’s inability to take direct action, might just manage to make things better and actually make everyone happier by the end, while solving Earth C’s fucked-up Candyland state at the same time.  It’s possibly to show the readers (through the lens of a Hope player specializing in positive possibility) that Dirk, had he been restrained, COULD have had a positive impact, even at the same time that we’re shown Prince Dirk at his soul’s most overblown and heinous.

And, if we want to be optimistic..... perhaps this’ll show Dirk, too?

Canon and Non-Canon may not “meet” again.  But that doesn’t stop Dirk, via this fragment of his multiverse-spanning soul, from seeing Non-Canon.  From seeing how well things COULD have worked out, had he held back.  And if we keep cutting like this -- back and forth between the “real” story and these events in Candyverse -- perhaps the moment at which Brain Ghost Dirk realizes what he’s accomplished, realizes how much better things are because he could hold back, will coincide at the end with Prince Dirk finally, belatedly, realizing just how fucked his plan was, and understanding at the very, very end why he has to fucking die?

THAT would be interesting.

I guess we’ll see?  Talk to y’all next upd8.

[bladekindeyewear]

Time to read hs^2′s third non-bonus update!  I have not had a single portion of an image spoiled this time, and have no damn idea what it’s about.  Not even any asks in my inbox.  Will we have more of Ghostflusters, maybe a reason Jane didn’t know he was gone even when he supposedly received divorce papers?  A cut back to the good guys in pursuit of Dirk and crew?  Will Jade be a black-eyed zombie, or finally fucking awake like she deserves to be???

Let’s find out!

Oh god damn everything, please no.  ==>

...Oh!

Oh that’s MUCH better than it could’ve been!  We’re still in Candyverse, but cutting over to the Vriskas’ perspectives.  So that on the right would be the “mostly identical” Vriska who Rose and Kanaya raised, and the aforementioned logistics are just dealing with a dead clown body (that hopefully isn’t being refrigerated in the unseen spot Dirk was hiding from Terezi on their ship).

Kid Vriska looks pretty cool!  A fair bit Aranea-y, with that collar feeling like a nice hint of the Pagey version of her who originally earned the (Vriska) title.

(Vriska) pockets John’s phone before she can worry too much about waiting for a reply from Terezi.

Right, stolen phone... an anon in my inbox pointed out that Vriska “has a direct line out to Terezi” because of it, but I didn’t take it that seriously because I thought it wouldn’t come into play at all later.  Guess I was wrong, with the narrative taking the trouble to point it out-- especially considering that whatever she said, she EXPECTS a possible reply.

Other than some fun banter, I can’t figure out where this particular upd8 is going.

> (==>)

Oh that is a smug, self-satisfied Vriska look if I ever saw one.  (Vriska) over here is still dust under her heels, isn’t she?

VRISKA: If you want to keep Hanging Out, I mean. Which I assume you Do.

Holy shit, she’s throwing a bit of Kanaya Caps in her language.  That’s SUPER adorable.  That was probably in Candy too and I just forgot about it.

VRISKA: So, Nickname me, 8itch. And make it Cute.

Huh!  You don’t stake too much on your name, then?

> (==>)

Vrissy!  That’s surprisingly genial of you, it’s pretty damn good.

VRISSY: So now that we have that locked down, what’s First on the list of Awesome Shit we’re gonna do Together?

Oh no.  No, no Vrissy, you’re gonna be disappointed.  :(

VRISSY: I told you already, I don’t ever get up to Anything nearly as Interesting as you did. VRISKA: Till now ;;;;) VRISSY: Heh. Yeah.

...yeah, FUCK.  Vrissy is gonna get used and thrown away so fucking hard.  The slightest ounce of hero worship thrown Vriska’s way is an ounce that’s gonna get exploited to hell and back.

I suppose from here we’re going into the rebellion, aren’t we?  I hope badass eyepatch Karkat doesn’t look too silly in this art style.

> (==>)

God, this art style is so CLEAN and makes her look so ADORABLE.

--ah, okay.  We’re gonna see how the dynamic between Vrissy and human Kid-Tavros works.  Hope this won’t be too painful.  Besides, like... the kind of hilarious starting-pain that she’s asking HIM to help take care of a dead body.

VRISSY: That was Tavros. He’s on his way.

Oh man, Vriska didn’t know.  :D

> (==>)

Huh!  That’s a more thoughtful expression than I was expecting.

VRISKA: Unless he’ll rat us out to his mom???????? VRISSY: Nah. He’ll get too much of a Kick out of seeing this dead Piece of Shit, don’t Worry.

Oh man.  Tavros’ll probably just be sad or freaked out a bit, but what I wouldn’t give for our first look at him to be him dancing on this clown’s grave.

> (==>)

Vrissy hates that ostentatious prick-mobile, mostly because it is not her ostentatious prick-mobile.

Heheheh.

Hm?  “Actual spy shit”, other than hiding a body?  Did you have some bigger anti-Crocker stuff in mind, Vrissy?

> (==>)

Oh Jiminy Christmas!!!  You’re the spitting image of your parents!  And, like... perfectly visually suited to induce Vriska-macking, unwanted or otherwise.

> (==>)

TAVROS: These are normal things you expect to happen, when you are picking up your kismesis and her,,,, ah,,, new friends,

Oh right, that’s the relationship.  More that I forgot from Candy.

VRISSY: Who is VERY Cool and Sexy with her Eyepatch--

--remind me again why Vriska has an eyepatch?  Something in the Lord English fight, a stray shard of universe fabric inflicting more random meaningful damage?  *Looks it up.*  Oh huh, so THAT was the vague damage to her head she played off-- the shard literally got her eye and she refused to admit it to herself or the narrative.  I was wondering about that weird damage back when I read it, but never inferred the answer.  And did she put the eyepatch on when she landed in Candy?  *Looks that up*  Wait, no, it couldn’t have hit her eye.  From Candy:

Vriska’s face snaps up, eyes blazing. Eyes. Actual eyes, with expression, color, pupils, and everything.

[...]  There’s a bleeding gash on her head and something lodged in her chest.

Okay, fuck.   Then whence the fucking eyepatch?  *Keeps skimming Candy...*

(VRISKA): The 8attle was hitting its clim8x when I got hit in the head with... with...

(Vriska) paws at her head wound, fingers numb and vision blurry.

(VRISKA): Wh8tever the fuck it was that hit me in the head!

Hmm?

JOHN: do you wanna see a doctor for that or something? (VRISKA): No!!!!!!!! (VRISKA): I w8nt to know what the fuck is GOING ON!!!!!!!!

Hmmmm.....  *Keeeeps reading...*

Dammit, that’s all there is.  So this is an inference either Andrew intended or the other authors/artists did from the tail end of all that -- Vriska either took head damage that deprived her of sight in that eye, made it more light-sensitive/blurry, OR that eyepatch is essentially a makeshift bandage over the bleeding parts.  (Which might remain medically necessary, or she might just keep wearing for style points.)  Hmm.

I’m mostly just relieved that whoever’s helping write HS^2 didn’t fuck up.  Okay, that’s enough Candy-digging, back to the story now:

After a few beats, he propels himself off the car like a swimmer at the sound of a gun, his body plunging in a graceful arc toward his goal.

Huh?  I mean, good execution, very Jake, but... huh?  Is someone gonna get clobbered?  Vrissy?  The corpse?

> (==>)

Ooh, the corpse!  Yes!!!  Kick that corpse.

Why did the head honk?  Hopefully this stays a corpse.  (I’m surprised his strikes are as weak as the narrative’s saying; even if he’s really Tavros-natured, he’s still the son of two of the strongest, fisticuff-iest players.  Kind of a rebellion against his parents both, then?)

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--unrelated, I just saw the Bonus blinking with Catnapped Part 2.  Guess I won’t be finished once I’ve covered this, just yet.

VRISKA: I am in no place to 8egrudge a man his cathartic ass-kicking moment, but that was a loud fucking scream. VRISSY: No kidding. My ears are STILL ringing from your 8ig attempt at breaking the sound 8arrier.

Y’all are ones to talk, I just reread the part of Candy where you two found Vriska fucking Gamzee.

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Please don’t move, clown.  Stay the fuck dead, please?

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Calm down, Tav, you’ve got this.

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Nice suspenders.

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aaaaAAAAAAAAAAA WHO IS THIS AGAIN IS THIS HARRY OR SOMETHING IS THIS JOHN AND ROXY’S ASSHOLE KID

--sorry I got overexcited because I clicked next and saw that hair spiral aaaa.

...I hope it isn’t a DIFFERENT kid of theirs that I somehow forgot exists or such.  That’d be embarrassing.  This guy/girl/person looks infuriatingly suave, also.

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YOU’RE SO CUTE IN A WAY THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE.

--Yep, dialogue confirms it’s Harry Anderson.

Heh, he’s pulling an Early Acts John and not believing a word of it, but playing along.

There is no possible way that this stuff Vrissy is saying isn’t horeseshit, but he is not about to crack.

--just wanna point out the probably-typo before they fix it.

Ah, bringing it there.  Good luck, Harry.

> (==>)

Oh, that was fast.

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...That’s what you get for relying on Harry.

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VRISKA: We can just dump it in the inciner8or. That’s pro8a8ly what his plan was to 8egin with. VRISSY: The what???????? VRISKA: The inciner8or. Like, for 8odies?? VRISSY: At SCHOOL???????? VRISKA: Yes? TAVROS: It is somewhat pleasant to be reminded,,, in my darker moments,,,, that the grass is not really ever greener on Alternia,

No comment, this is just pretty hilarious.

I still keep revisiting how easily Vrissy gave up her given name, here.  As if she feels like her real name ought to be associated with the hero instead of her, in a kind of... lowkey low self-esteem way.

VRISSY: I should have known he was fucking with us. VRISSY: GOD he is such a Stupid 8astard.

--Well, they know each other well enough.

Hm.  Does Vriska think they can just kill any human kids they run into?

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...GOSH, Vrissy is stupid adorable.  And like, shockingly chill, in general.

> (==>)

Huh.  Vrissy, are you chickening out on an adventure because you’re afraid you’ll get caught?  ...well, good for you, honestly!  Not that I think it’ll last.

...yup, there she goes after ‘em.

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I think you’re still going to fuck up, Vriska.

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None of them know where they are going, but Vriska is leading the way, hunched and purposeful

I guess none of this is surprising, really.

Is Jane going to, like... hear about the corpse found in a human school’s basement and blame the rebellion some more somehow?  Not that it matters, I guess.

There is something incredibly reassuring, Tavros thinks, about someone who has absolute outward confidence in themselves.

(There’d better not be any relationship conflict involving Vriska upcoming in the future.  BETTER not.)

> (==>)

Gamzee managing to fuck everything up even when he’s dead.

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VRISKA: No, he’s right, I was going to count to eight.

Hah.

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Are they gonna end up dumping him at Harry’s feet?

Nice way to force him out of school and into the rebellion, that.

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VRISSY: Keep looking for Harry Anderson. He’s In The Shit with us now, whether he likes it or not.

Guess so!  Fair enough.

> (==>)

oh no

(I also understand why I haven’t gotten any asks about this upd8 yet.  This is mostly just character (re-)introductions and hijinks.  Totally up for some Harry, Vriska, Vrissy and Tavros adventures now that I can actually SEE them, it really adds a lot.)

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And there it goes.  Slide into Harry’s classroom on the waterslick maybe?

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The human students, trained to respond to a fire drill with speed and enthusiasm for missed class time, are out in the hall in a matter of seconds.

Oh, the worst possible outcome.  :D

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Shit, they’re all on camera.  Nice job, Vriska!  Welcome to Earth.

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Oh my fucking GOD, this image.  Vriska is LOVING the chaos!!!  She doesn’t even care!

VRISKA: I thought this planet was gonna be a snoozefest desert devoid of 8oth agency and fun, but I am honestly having a gr8 time.

Pfff.  I should’ve known.  She just cares about being where the Action Is, as Aradia put it at the end of Meat.

> (==>)

She sees it, and she can’t breathe. Her lover, her confidante, her clown of many years, being desecrated by a bunch of treasonous monsters.

You threw him out of a ship.

Yeah, of course she draws that conclusion.  Everything and everyone is either with her or against her, after all.

> (==>)

--Wait, you didn’t even know Tavros was missing until that moment???

So did the lawyers send the divorce papers on their own, or did the authors really just forget?

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Your John is showing SO hard, Harry.

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Congratulations!

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Yep!

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HARRY ANDERSON: oh fuck

*slow clap*

I’ll cover Catnapped 2 in a bit, though circumspectly as it’s a paid bonus.  See y’all!