#humanity and genuineness through their own lived experiences regardless and even in spite of (sometimes) their religious backgrounds

[enbetweeen]

Your humanity is heavenly

[gcllys]

i think i just saw giselle epstein looking down at their phone in the middle of lecture hall . i wonder if they think that will help them get through their animal behavior major . i’m sure professor baker doesn’t mind , though , especially since gilly can be so + ebullient . then again , she can be a little - boisterous , so maybe prof b will mind after all . what do you think is catching their attention all of a sudden ? surely it can’t be more pictures of cotton candy skies . hey , you know , sometimes they really remind me of ALLOWING YOURSELF TO DROWN IN OTHERS FOR THE SENSATION OF BEING WANTED, UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLES LACED WITH PEACH FLAVORED VODKA, SUN KISSED SKIES MELTING INTO CRAZED OCEANS, MOONLIGHT DANCING IN HAZEL ORBS , but maybe that’s just me . oh well . i hope their second year is treating them well ! 

i’m currently laid out on the beach, so please remember this as you read this ugly formatted introduction asdj !! ’m going to keep this as simple and sweet as i can considering introductions and me are not what some people would call compatible. i’m gi(anna), eighteen, who goes by the she and her pronouns !! i’m absolutely terrible at talking about myself but i’m absolutely excited to be jumping into this group with all of you and your breathtaking muses .. giselle is a combination of a few old muses of mine, and i’m pretty excited to explore her in ways i never got the chance to .. so without farther rambling, if you want to dig deeper into her please keep on reading :

. ◞  ‧  *  𝖎. 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘  .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

full name : giselle ambria epstein 

nickname(s) : gilly, gigi

birthday : november fourth

zodiac : scorpio

moral alignment : chaotic neutral

gender : cisfemale

pronouns : she and her

sexual orientation : heterosexual

romantic orientation : heteroromantic

height : five ft five

language(s) spoken : english, italian, and a decent amount of spanish

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖎. 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘  .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

allowing  yourself  to  drown  in  others  for  the  sensation  of  being  wanted  ,  uncontrollable  giggles  laced  in  peach  flavored  vodka  ,  sun  kissed  skies  melting  into  crazed  oceans,soft melodies singing you to sleep , moonlight dancing in hazel eyes , baby pink acrylic nails tapping softly on hard surfaces , sweet vanilla lingering in the air , fingertips dancing over bare honey dipped skin , pink glossy lips parting into a gentle smile.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖎𝖎. 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

to lurking eyes the brunette tends to catch ditzy vibes and shallow tendencies, her image painting her in an self absorbed , “ you’re even in an sorority, wow shocking ” light. and usually labels such as those, tend to hold some kind of truth. for why would they occur if not? but when it comes to gisella, there’s more that meets the eye. she is ebullient in human, is devoured by an ocean of light heartedness and good intentions . she happens to be an energy that you can not help but want to lose yourself in ? her boisterous chatter in the sea of cheerleaders is an melody to your ears and when the sun disappears her giggles laced with peach vodka lingers in the air , the sound itself intoxicating. she herself is intoxicating .. whether it’s her light in your lungs or her darkness around your throat : the sensation is enchanting. she strives to be good, to be kind, to be caring .. but, she is at that grown age where she’s learning that she will not always be kind nor understanding nor selfless and thats okay. she so badly wants to live the life she was granted, that she tends to push worries and fear aside and do things that make her blood rush . she enjoys the memories that drunk nights give her, charmed by the loud house party music, is in love with living a little recklessly .. she’s show me how fast this car can go and i bet you wont jump kind of soul. she is compassionate, she is someone who will throw herself in crazed oceans to save you , but she also believes in loving herself and being kind to herself . and so, she tries not to drown for everyone . she is fiercely loyal, and loves being with people ? attaches herself on to others almost as if she doesnt make an impact on other lives she’ll slowly fade away. passionate, she feels the world around her on a level that most do not understand . but it tends to make her scattered ? she can ride the highs but sometimes she has to ride the lows too. she is a lover, will give you her all .. will always put the effort and time in. it makes her affectionate, she likes small touches .. hugs and hand holding . not just romantically but platonically too. she is not completely soft though, and kindness is not a weakness . she’s her mothers daughter, and with that comes a sense of stubborn , jealousness , finickiness , and carelessness . she can be hard to understand , hard to please .. she can be hurtful, even selfish sometimes . no matter how hard she tries to push it out.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖛. 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

she comes from a family of six, including her biological father, step mother who has always felt more like her biological mother than anything, her sibling from both of her biological parents, and her two half siblings.

the relationship she carries with each of them are insanely special, and go beyond the cliches of resentment.

she considers her step mother to be her mother, and will call her mom and/or mommy. she was thrown into her care at the age of five, and being that young and having years ahead of her with this women who genuinely and full heartedly cared and loved her it was not hard to fall in love with her back.

her three siblings are the three people in her life that, has really help shaped her and filled with world with light. sometimes, she cannot wrap her head around the fact that for five years she did not know they existed. the though saddens her, mostly because now she cannot picture even her simple days without them.

she does not speak of her birth mother, nor does know where she’s at or what she’s doing. she refuses any contact with her, and mostly tries to pretend the first five years of her life was a blur.

which for the most part it was, she was still insanely young. and while she had the ability to understand the vague concept of the matter: her mother no longer wanting her. she was a young child.

but her experience with the event left wounds on her that are not always vocal, being abandoned at a young age clearly had its impact on her and the way she functioned. especially with personal relationships. she’s at the point in her life where she’s either latching on to people with fear spilling out of her that they might leave, or constantly pushing people away so they never have a chance to leave.

 her mother and father were sweethearts of college, marrying after three years and falling insanely in love. her mother had always been certain she didn’t want kids, and so when she fell pregnant she slowly fell apart? she did not have the heart to rid the baby from her, and so she kept it. she loved her first born, but she was unfit. slowly becoming someone people couldn’t recognize. giselle’s father tried his best, but when his efforts failed he put him and his child first and left. the only problem was, that his ex wife was pregnant. and she decided to keep this baby out of spite, regardless of knowing that she couldn’t care for it.

 her step mother had been adopted by a family in italy when she was a baby, and it’s a place her and the kids constantly go. for, every single summer was spent there. and her parents? without questions, without hesitation accepted giselle like she was their own.

built on a personality of constantly needing people surrounding her, joining a sorority made her feel like home regardless of being away from home. and sigma kappa had seemed to be a perfect match for her : fueling the need to feel like she’s a living breathing human being.

she has always been drawn to animals but when it comes down to narrowing them out she fully wants to work with dogs.. hoping to one day run her own shelter, organization that helps them and of course other animals in need. collecting the abandoned, the neglected, and the unloved and presenting them with what they deserve.

she had four dogs through her childhood, three of whom are still remaining. they are fully the reason she had been triggered to want to work so closely to them. but it definitely cuts deeper than just that.

she is someone who has to constantly apply herself to get the results she wants, and school is the biggest department that shines through. she’s smart, but the effort is necessary. she needs to spend hours with her head in books, needs to take the time to do her assignments, notes. school never came naturally to her.

but sports did, throughout her life she played a handful. soccer, field hockey, volleyball, softball: but the one that truly stuck was cheerleading and it’s something she continues to do. it’s a passion of hers that can never die no matter how much she wants it to sometimes. she loves the sensation it brings her. the fact that it presents her an escape route. she doesn’t mind the hard work, the hours of practicing, the sore muscles and headaches from her hair being pulled too tight. the bumps and the cuts, it’s worth it.

her home is key west florida, and so the years after her mom left her .. she spent a lot of her time near the ocean. of course this is default of living right on it, but in simple terms it kind of brings her a sense of peace?? ocean waves remind her of childhood, her parents, siblings, brings a warm and cozy feeling. when she can’t sleep, she’d find herself sitting in the sand just watching the waves in the moonlight. when she needed inspiration? she’d take in the cotton candy sunsets and let them flow through her.

she has a lot of small talents, but one she recently decided to put more energy in is her singing. she always, for the longest time carried around her song journal. the pages being filled with song lyrics and small doodles .. it was kind of like her diary? and putting words together to make some sort of beautiful poetry not only excited her but kept her grounded. she has now recently started acting bringing these songs together and so far? she’s just having a blast with it. it’s a aspect of her life she’s fully down to explore.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖛. 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

platonic soulmate, girl squad, teammates, friends, best friends, ex best friends, friends with benefits, ex friends with benefits, hate ship, one night stand(s), failed relationship, almost relationship, good influence, bad influence, flirtationship, unlikely friends, family friends, frenemies, childhood friends, slow burn, confidant(s), ex fling, tutors, hardly related cousin, cousins, sibling like friendship, toxic friendship, forbidden romance, love/hate relationship, fake relationship, first loves, ex lover, toxic relationship, on and off relationship. 

[tallowes]

I’m working on a bio template by working on Tace’s bio and doing the personality part has been really insightful / helped me to remember some things about him that are #Canon but I sometimes forget because I’m a Fool and the reason why I juxtapose / compare him to Anders a lot mentally while I work on meta-level shit.  Tace was given to the Circle as a very young child, it’s basically all he’s ever known, as someone who’s very strong willed and stubborn he always had some trouble living in the Circle. But when his dreamer capabilities kicked in at 13 things got infinitely worst and he had to very quickly readapt and get the authorities on his side just to survive and not be made tranquil. In the span of a few short months as his powers became less sporadic and more consistent and the enchanters sorted out what was going on Tace went from being just another ( if a bit bratty ) apprentice to being considered the most dangerous person in the Circle and a threat to the safety of the other mages just by living.  He was isolated from the other mages, given private sleeping quarters with wards, etc. on them ( basically a glorified isolation cell ) and a constant guard of templars day and night. He was basically treated like a dangerous criminal or plague victim. Some of that is justified, he was a very young mage and it’s talked about in DA2 just how bad can be if something goes wrong with a dreamer. However it all set him on edge and made him shift quickly from disliking the templars and enchanters because he’s a unruly preteen to thinking of them as threats because of the harsh 180. Tace is smart, very observant and while he’s hot-blooded he doesn’t like to act or lash out, especially when it’s a serious situation where that could really hurt him. He wants to have all the facts so he can point by point tell you why you’re wrong. It became clear to him that they were watching him more intensely than they were anyone else, looking for signs of instability or possession and he knew if they felt they found something regardless if it was there he’d be made tranquil. Even at that age he found the concept nightmarish and was terrified of it being done to him. So he stopped acting out completely, or questioning things too much or really showing any outward signs of not being an exemplary circle mage as much as possible as a means of self preservation. So while Anders, his contemporary in the same Circle was becoming more rebellious Tace was becoming more docile and embedded in the community. 

When Falon’din’s Putrescence locked on to him around 14-15 and he began to not just deal with more frequent and intense demon attacks than the rest of the mages and the physical / mental / emotional toll that took on him, but also began wake up with physical bruising his life was genuinely in danger from the templars. Knowing where this would likely lead he preempted the talks of tranquility before they got too serious by essentially begging for his life,  pointing out that he had now faced about 2 years of near constant demonic assault of all kinds on a level of intensity none of the rest had at a young “untrained and unstable” age and had never had a single moment of faltering.  Thankfully since Irving and Greagoir aren’t complete monsters they agreed he had proven to have a very strong will and he would not be made tranquil but he would still live apart from the rest, go through the harrowing and have a constant guard of at least 1 templar, usually 2, assigned to him for the rest of his life. Tace agreed readily, he didn’t really have a choice and frankly he found the idea of someone around to kill him if he fucked up comforting. His main strength against demons had always been his stubbornness and loathing of being told what to do but Falon’din’s Putrescence is in a category all of it’s own and the idea of what could happen if he did finally break and give up terrified him as much as being tranquil did. Both because of the loss of Self / control and the possible carnage that could be done through him.  Over time he became a split personality with his real self curdling into something very unpleasant as he pushed down all his negative traits, thoughts, feelings etc. and basically lied almost constantly about himself. He couldn’t completely stop being his naturally stubborn independent self but he stamped it down enough to come across as an eccentric and a bit of jerk and not a dangerously rebellious and angry garbage fire of a person, which he actually is. He maintained his shit by basically only caring about himself and focusing intensely on his studies, research and duties, excelling as an academic and a researcher and gaining the rank of enchanter.  People like Anders were inherently dangerous to his survival, not because they themselves where a threat to him physically or anything but because Tace deeply felt for them and sympathized with them. Tace’s seeming inability to connect with others is both the product of his on going trauma and as part of his self-preservation. If he cares about people like Anders, who are clearly struggling, failing to thrive and being obviously miss treated and subjected to barbaric punishments for doing / thinking things he agrees with for reasons he empathizes with he will 100% mclose it and have outburst after outburst and eventually lead to his own demise. So he actively squashes his better traits like his very real and very deep compassion and instead lets himself see everyone as a threat, suspicious or just Not Important or Real like he is. Boom now he doesn’t get upset about poor Jowan, guy just was fucking loser who sucked and couldn’t cut it like he can so rip adios laddie don’t write. While he and Anders have similarities ( personalities not suited for the circle, long bouts of enforced isolation, mental illness struggles, massive sense of betrayal, strong wills, intensely emotional, regretfully care a LOT about others, “radical ideas” like basic human rights for everyone ) Tace’s situation from day one was much more precarious, since 13 he was living on the knife’s edge with opinion on him liable to change irrevocably with just one bad day and he fucking knew it. His ways of coping and working to survive were much different, he used his inherent extroversion, people skills, intelligence and sheer force of will to convince people and to blend in and appear “safe”. Basically becoming an actor putting on some kind of sick play for the amusement of overlords who held his life in their hands. While I’ve joked and talked about how much of an asshole he is and how he has little respect for others or the dead in particular the fact is that other half of his split personality rarely comes out. The era it was most apparent in was DA2 when he’d finally left the Circle, knowing that if he had stayed and let the transfer to the Gallows go thru it was a death sentence. During that time as an apostate largely on his own or with people like Hawke’s gang who really can’t complain much about bad behavior / attitude his true personality got to make an appearance. He was mean, petty, vindictive, intensely distrustful, careless with other people and honestly kind of awful to be around, but along with that he was also helpful, protective of others ( especially Anders, Merrill, Isabella and Fenris ) , considerate, thoughtful, funny and sporadically deeply compassionate. Tace without all his baggage and trauma would be a deeply compassionate, witty, good natured well regarded natural mentor friend ( if a bit of a hard ass ) but at is stands his experiences have made him manipulative, cruel, brutal, callous with the emotions / lives of others, intensely selfish and self centered, stubborn / spiteful to the point of self damaging and largely unable to connect with others on deeper levels. When in situations where his life is in danger from the opinion of groups or “superiors” like the Circle, Mage Rebellion camps or the Inquisition he comes across as a largely harmless academic with an at times strong personality. When he deems himself out of the line of sight or with people he at least trusts not to narc on him he drops some level of the pretense and it becomes increasingly clear he’s very fucked up, deeply unpleasant, needs a lot of therapy ASAP and is absolutely earth shatteringly furious and violently egalitarian. I think it says a lot about him that he has two main reasons that fuel him in his constant battle against possession and they’re that he’s so furiously individualistic and stubborn that he’d rather die and have his immortal soul shredded into non-existence than lose even 1 spec of the bodily autonomy he still has and that he knows exactly how catastrophic it would be if any demon, let alone something like Falon’din’s Putrescence got control of him, and he would rather suffer for eternity than let that kind of calamity happen, especially if he’d be the vehicle for it because despite all his callousness the idea he might be party to that level of monstrousness makes him sick. 

[tamikkogivesbrain]

Obsessed or nah?

Mental illness or nah?

Weird Twilight Zone Episode or nah?

Restraining order or nah?

This whole story makes me sad. I honestly wish people lived to love themselves more. Being inspired by someone is why we are all put on this planet. Envy, competition, weak mindsets and low vibrational intentions are things We as a Collective need to move out of. If someone is offended by you copying them, stop copying them. Do not move into someone else’s life out of spite. Create your own. Grow to love Yourself.

Introspective by: TAMIKKO BEASTY

What is Divine Masculine and Feminine?

In the same way, the feminine is waking up to her divine qualities and offering these gifts to the world, so the masculine is awakening to a new (actually old) way of being with the feminine. ... The awakening masculine supports the feminine aspect in visionary women and men, so they can bring their gifts into the world.

What is Divine Feminine?

Since the Divine Feminine is a concept grounded in spirituality, definitions can vary depending on who you ask. ... In other words, the Divine Feminine represents the connection to the part of your consciousness responsible for nurture, intuition, and empathy, regardless of your gender.

What is divine energy?

The most important part of the human body is the latent divine energy which lies between our skins to inner conscience, the potential energy or Shakti. ... In yogic parlance the soul is called 'purusha shakti' and energy of nature is called 'prakriti shakti'or kundalini energy.

I wrote a story months back about a person impersonating my essence for many years. I wrote it from a generic 3D perspective. Mostly because I did not want to dig deep. (This whole blog is filled with sci-fi episodes of The Twilight Zone.) I have been in review of True Self lately. The end cap to a very lonnnng journey inward, and away from secular conditioning. As I gear my mind to mentally go back to the superficial world of product and presentation... a path led me here. More homework.

I had this great initial strive for a career in pop culture dance for my whole entire existence. It led to many amazing things and wonderful, out of this world experiences. But the one thing that was always missing... True Love. I have had encounters I called love, mislabeled partners twin flames when they weren’t... only to find my heart forever lacking. There is a person I have always known to be my Twin. My real twin. I met him long ago and labeled him my best friend, a “brother”, my family, and ran. I saw him and he was familiar. A blaze in my eye that was too hard to hold on to. Broken from my own past and hurts I couldn’t handle experiencing love or real committed connection. We eventually collided years later. Volcanic. But life changing. I ran again. In between these things there was always a person looming in the background. Feeding on his weakness and vulnerability.

I’m trying to find places to resolve what I feel and step into 8D reasoning.

We had Union. The Union was beyond and close. Implosive again. All while this 3rd Party person still stalked and emulated, competed from afar. She felt slighted. That something was taken away from her... him.

I believe in love.

I believe in blinding, heart yielding, gut wrenching love. I believe if you love someone and you know in your heart they belong to another... release them. I did this twice. She captured him twice. From the outside it looked believable. Like he did belong to her. Even tho I could see... his heart was inside of me. I wanted him to live his highest self possible. She convinced him to marry, it was based in false pretenses, manipulation, abuse, coherion. They imploded. Divorce. Bad feelings.

He called me.

After a century of distance and walking through the trenches of hell without each other.

I came.

I put my soul into healing my friend. Twin Flame Unions are not perfect. It’s volatile. It’s scary. It’s co-dependence, sometimes dysfunctional. Come together to fall apart... all while your heart cracks on the inside. I set my twin free again. Against the internal part of my being. So he can find a freedom to choose his own destiny. Be really happy and manifest His Truth.

So I went on another journey of Self just recently. Information came flooding my way like The Universe wanted me to know... in heart break you are not alone.

Twin Flame Energy, The Divine Feminine (DF), The Masculie Energy (DM), and The Karmic.

Sometimes You can be a Karmic and mess up someone else’s relationship by cheating with their spouse. When you work through your 3D carnal exertions and choices... you ascend. You move your energy out of lower base thinking and doing. You walk into your Power and become Divine. The Divine Feminine Awakens and this sends a Universal Signal to her Divine Masculine to unite. Unite and form a Union so Their Universal duty/ soul contract begins to manifest. This is to guide The Spiritual Collective forward. People in low base thinking can see or sense this. People who live in “black” energy use negativity and negative actions to hold other people back so Twin Flames have harder times meeting or coupling. Sometimes this is out of conscious jealousy, envy, and lack. It can also be out of greed and arrogance. Even revenge on one or both parties. When you come across 2 partners who are Destined as Twin Flames... the energy is so obvious people are constantly compelled to point out your similarities. In looks, Energy, and Vibe. An irresistible love for One Another that the whole world recognizes and can see.

It’s meant to be.

In New York I was super busy all of the time. Had no time to look over my shoulder and see who was chasing me. He saw me. She saw him seeing me... and has been chasing me ever since. She was not kind to my twin. Trying to force my likeness over him. Almost as if to trick... maybe compete. To fool or convince him him she is The Divine Feminine. I never stopped to think how deep it all got until this last year. How much damage was done to my friend.

Hurt people hurt people. I am not perfect. I hurt people too. Unraveling different parts of myself everyday. The difference is the True Divine Feminine can’t fake her existence. She does not force or manipulate. When she fights, she is fighting for what The Divine Masculine actually wants for himself... deep in his own soul... even if it’s breaking her own bond with him. A Karmic Energy fakes and manipulates. Usually for a selfish purpose and plays the Soulmate game to entrap a person.

The dilemma.... tell the truth or let my heart sit back and pretend it’s ok for people to do things like this. In my research there are people who go in depth about Spiritual things and The War Fare that takes place. But never actually faces to the movies. I’m posting because is the obsession she has with me or is it over him? Or maybe the need for fake fame and competition coming from some broken place serves like a flame for her.

This knowledge of Twin Flame Journies inspired me to write. Our Union inspired friends to marry and some to pursue higher love. So I wondered what was always coming in between us. Karmic ties can also be friends or family members who have selfish motives to keep True Loves apart. Sometimes people are just sad and do dark things. And sometimes people just need to heal from their own paths. We collide into poachers looking for planets to rob and fill. We are planets. If we fail to fill ourselves with love, it makes it easier for parasitic energy to take over. Vampire based people are attracted to Epathic Energy. People ascending to higher levels are usually Empaths with beautiful, giving energy. Bottom feeders recognize this... and feed.

The goal is to not become a bottom feeder yourself from encountering so many dark connections and fight your way through Yourself back to Your Higher Existence.

When on This Journey The Twin Flame appears. Bumping back into one another until Union finally takes hold or peaceful resolvement to let go is established between The Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine.

I desire for my True Twin to be his happiest Self. With me or away from Me... love is undefineable and no moments are regretted.

There is a massive Spiritual Shift in The Collective Human Consciousness and on The Planet. Recognize Heart Power and True Intentions. The time for hiding or wearing false masks is over. All truth will prevail.

It’s time for true love and life purpose. The rest is bullshit.

Muse your heart. Listen to your gut. If it feels wrong... it’s probably fake. Or in my case, an imposter.

If you recognize yourself as a Karmic, look inward. Do the work to heal yourself and break unnatural bonds you may be keeping over people who do not belong to you. If you steal from The Universe, you will be required to pay in karmic lessons that keep you bound to 3D black hole existing.

If you are a Twin Flame on path to Enlightenment. Be honest. Love Yourself. Heal Yourself. Pray. Do good works. Spread pure love. Repeat.

Fight For Love.

~T

Click Link Below for more disturbing info👇🏼:

UPDATE: She currently is stealing Spiritual Information I have written about here and is starting a newsletter of her own... As she reports my IG Page 7-8 times a day to have this tumblr link dismantled... only to use bits of my information in daily newsletter posts to portray herself as “Enlightened”, “Woke AF”, & Gives “Self- Awareness” tips. 👀

How, Sway?!

She now calls herself a “Light Worker”.

These things are not to be played with... or taken lightly. Pray for Real People to see around this Fake Lost One.

This Is The Spiritual Battle. Being played out in various ways, on very many stages and platforms. True Divine Energy: Continue to be what is Born and Genuine INSIDE of You. That cannot be forged... only mocked by Jealous Entities like the person who is obsessed with trying to be Me. Keep fighting for Truth. If You are a true born healer, or carry light to help change The World, Uphold True Meaning in Your Existence and Purpose. No fake creation, test, or obstacles can change that or take that which is Divine in True Divine Beings...away from You.

To The Fake 1s: Beware. The Wicked Shall Perish... On DOPE.

The Future Come’ith.

[likeathunderbolt]

For 789.

If you had to name your greatest motivation in life, thus far, what would it be?

Finding purpose & security & tranquility & fulfilment & happiness. Any tips?

How important is it to you to have your own unique “thing” (like a girls’ night out or guys’ movie night) that you don’t share with your partner?

I think it’s important to be two whole individuals, I don’t feel comfortable with “my other half” type stuff. (Full power & support to people who live that though). I prefer us to share our lives rather than share a life, if that makes sense?

How often are you open with your feelings?

Maybe a wee bit too much? I am a very open person & like to talk things through. Sometimes I need spraying with a water bottle.

Do you often make jokes that offend more uptight people?

I don’t often make jokes in general, but I’m not a fan of offensive jokes at all. If you have to insult or single someone out, you’re not funny.

Once you’re intimate, how often would you and your significant other have sex?

Depends on the relationship, the stage of the relationship, the phase we’re in, the circumstances etc.

Do you have a problem with racist jokes?

Yes. They’re racist.

Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)?

I think communication is invaluable, but so is comfortable silence, I want to hear about your day, what you spoke to Lauren in work about, how your cousin Yu is doing, etc. I’d prefer conversation to constant texting all day, some days it’s fine but in general would be nice to chat over tea that evening.

How important is it for you to make physical contact when showing affection for someone?

Depends on the person & the circumstances, nothing better than a good hug but sometimes affection can just be a wee cuppa or tickets to something or leaving them be a while.

Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?

Jealousy is a normal human emotion, dealing with jealousy in a healthy way is good, saying “If I wasn’t jealous I wouldn’t care.” is a transparent excuse for unacceptable, controlling behaviour.

Are geeks sexy?

It helps to have things in common with a person but it’s not enough to make someone sexy. Sexy for me is a combination of things. There are some geeky people who are sexy, I wouldn’t say being “geeky” is inherently sexy though.

Would you date someone who was always optimistic?

I would like that, especially at this point in my life. I feel I’m a “pessimistic realist” at this point so it would be good to have some positive vibes.

Regardless of your actual age, do you consider yourself to be an adult?

I don’t consider myself to meet all the criteria of an adult as yet. Experiences required.

Do you say “thank you” to wait staff when served in a restaurant?

Always. Manners cost nothing. Same goes for the bus driver, the delivery person etc.

How often do you do things out of spite?

I try not to but a lot of the time I cut my nose off to spite my face because I get quite in to my own head. I’m getting better though. I’m learning to teach myself & stop battling myself.

How frequently do you bathe or shower?

I only ever bathe when I have a cool bath bomb to use, (love to my @cherry--waves) or if my muscles are sore. Shower is every night before bed, I’m a night showerer for sure.

When you are angry or frustrated, do you ever throw, smash, kick, hit inanimate objects (non-living things)?

This is not something I’ve ever done, nor do I wish to start.

In a serious relationship, do you feel it’s important to keep your significant other informed of the details of your day-to-day life?

I want to hear about their life so sure we’ll talk about the ins & outs of the day. That said, if you’re busy that’s fine, not gonna make you schedule a catch up about how my usual lunch spot for work was closed for a refurb if you have a lot on.

Which of the following best describes your typical demeanor?

I think part of this question is missing?

How are you most likely to show your partner you care?

Hugs? Listening & tailoring my responses to help them as best I can? Encouraging them to surround themselves with people who want the best for them?

Are you a workaholic?

Not in terms of my current job but I could see it if I reached my career goals, because then I’d love my job & be going above and beyond because it genuinely interested me.

Are you a morning person?

Depends honestly, I go through cycles, when I had my own place I was a morning person.

Would you consider sexually cutting a partner if they asked you to?

That is not something I would feel comfortable with personally.

[adoranymph]

So. I wanted to keep up a momentum of positivity up given current world circumstances, which means I figured it was time I expressed and explored my love for family tropes in stories, found or otherwise.

They say you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. On a genetic level that’s indisputable, but what if apart from that, your friends are your family? I just love that stuff, personally. Actually, I love stories that examine and enrich family bonds in general, biological or not. And today, I’d like to share a few (a fair few) of them with you, if for no other reason than to try and spread around some warm-fuzzies instead of other, nastier things.

If we’re talking a specific, earliest moment that I recall having a strong reaction to a family bond, I’d have to say it’d be after reading what became my favorite installment in the Harry Potter series, Prisoner of Azkaban. I specifically remember thinking, “Aw, Harry finally has an adult in his life he can see as family.” I mean, yes, the Weasleys were already there in his corner, but Sirius Black had a more personal connection to Harry’s parents that gave this sense of him being able to connect more with the family he’d lost with what little connection he had gained that was left. And yeah, include Lupin in that too, while we’re at it.

And that love for that trope has just grown more with time with the amount of media that I’ve consumed. Found families, blood families, families struggling, families coming together, I eat that up with a big hot fudge sundae spoon. For as long as I can remember, I’ve tailored 99% of my stories around these types of plot points, perhaps with more intensity after having lost my own parents. If only because my fulfillment from it always comes from wanting to see more stories that feature family and family bond themes. Moreover, the opportunity to experience them in fictional contexts offers differing perspectives on family and what family means to others. Which I also enjoy.

With the Fate series, for example, starting with Fate/Zero, the respective relationships of father-and-son in Kiritsugu and Shirou Emiya (which honestly gave me Harry Potter and Sirius Black vibes even though theirs is a relationship far different from what’s here), and father-and-daughter in Kiritsugu and Illya (which I melt at for the sake of being a father-daughter relationship) was the initial thing that most had me immediately hooked, in addition to the concept of historic and legendary heroes from across time coming together in the modern era for a battle royale for the Holy Grail. With all of that though, and everything else great about Fate/Zero (which is, yeah, everything), you have a shoe-in for what still stands as my favorite anime. Although the family moments are minimal, not just in Zero but in its sequel Stay Night as well, the moments themselves are powerful enough to stand out and be effective in spite of that. More than that, but they’re written so well, they transcend any tropiness they would have had in the hands of another creator. Zero in particular.

I think part of that comes from how much Fate and the Type-Moon universe seem to emphasize how broken the family relationships of mages and those related to the supernatural are, which in turn makes the ones that still manage to radiate love all the more precious. Especially in terms of Kiritsugu, his wife Irisviel, and their daughter Illya. Not wanting to repeat myself too much, I’ll distill it down to this: the fact that Kiritsugu’s relationships with them is tailor-made for tragedy might, on paper, seem almost contrived, but it’s Kiritsugu’s character, and Irisviel’s too, that highlight how dearly they love each other, throwing any contrivances about it out the window.

You can read more about it in my Type-Moon post. Suffice to say, I could talk about this stuff for hours, days even perhaps, and that’s just about Kiritsugu’s family. There’re also the Tohsakas and the Matous who all have their varying degrees of screwed-uppedness that still manage to produce people who are loving and caring in their own ways, from child abandonment as a result of a skewed view of fatherhood to just straight-up abuse. Which unfortunately brings to light more twisted examples of my beloved father-daughter trope that really gets under my skin, not unlike a very cold example of this in V. A. Schwabb’s This Savage Song and the unfortunate fact that the main heroine’s father never grew to love his daughter despite his wife’s reassurances that he would. Which is just sad without having to go into much further detail.

Same with Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)/ Fullmetal Alchmeist: Brotherhood. That franchise had the audacity to take my most beloved family trope, the father-daughter relationship, and mangle it (literally as well as figuratively now that I think about it) with the arc of State Alchemist Shou Tucker and his daughter, Nina. Desperate to keep his State Alchemist license, he uses his daughter Nina and their pet dog Alexander in an alchemic experient to create a talking chimera, by fusing the two of them together into one being, making for one of the most equally horrific and tragic scenes I’ve ever seen.

And yet again, these perversions of family are no less enjoyable than those of ones built far more genuinely and conventionally on love and care. Both are satisfying in their own way, to see not only places where love lives, but also places where we know love should live but doesn’t, which makes us, the readers, or the audience, want all the more to scoop these characters up and give them the hugs they deserve.

Funimation

Funimation

Not to say that Fullmetal is all about broken families. In fact, it’s more about the functioning ones that still manage to get torn apart. First you have the main plotline of the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse (Ed and Al). They committed the taboo of “human transmutation” in their attempt to resurrect their mother from the dead. For committing this taboo, they pay a heavy price: Ed, literally an arm and a leg, and Al, his entire body, leaving his soul to remain tethered in the living world by nothing more than a blood seal on a suit of armor. The brothers struggle with their efforts to set things right, and along with what happens to Nina, encounter their estranged father, though in the 2003 version the character arcs that form in those vary to those in the Brotherhood reboot.

In both versions though, their meeting Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes and his family, his wife Gracia and daughter Elecia, plays out the exact same tragic way, resulting in one of the worst sucker-punches of a death, and anyone who’s seen the show(s) knows what I mean. There’s even something of a family (if a dysfunctional one) in that of the homunculi (villainous ones in this case, unlike the homunculi in the Fate series). They might be named for the Seven Deadly Sins, but in their respective incarnations between the 2003 version and the reboot version, they develop in various ways, due in no small part to their relationships with each other. And part of what makes a family, in my experience, is nurturing the character of those with whom you are close with your own relationship to them. Hence why blood ties aren’t all that make a family, and why the concept of found families rock.

An anime I just finished recently, March Comes In Like a Lion, a pretty chill show, but still very emotionally engaging, (and chill is a high priority on what I’m looking for right now, which shouldn’t be surprising–save of course for my catching up on Season 3 of Castlevania), involves a young boy, Rei Kiriyama, roped into the fate of becoming a shogi prodigy when he loses his parents and little sister and is taken in by a shogi family as a foster son. The father was a friend of his father’s, but unlike his father, pursued the profession of playing shogi seriously, and unfortunately he was one of those fathers who meted out his affection to his children based on how good they got at the thing he was good at.

Which brings out the dark side of the found family, when Rei proves to be far more talented than either the daughter or the son of that family. He begins to see himself as “in the way”, as the daughter in particular takes her anger with her father out on him, sometimes in violent ways. This is further complicated by the fact that in his early formative years he appeared to have developed a crush on her despite the way she treated him, and continues to treat him throughout the majority of the anime.

Thankfully, where the story starts is with Rei, now in high school and now living on his own as a pro shogi player prodigy, and the relationship he’s developed with a family of threes sisters who just recently lost their mother. With them, he finds all the wonderful things a family can be, certainly the standard to which all found families should measure up to. He finds love and warmth that he’d not only been starving for, but had taught himself not to even hope to expect in his life going forward. An affirmation of where love can be found, not always with blood, and not always with where you thought you’d find it, which will never fail to be an incredibly moving thing to me.

The struggles of a young pro shogi player interlaced with the interpersonal struggles of the characters both inside and outside of the world of shogi, was incredibly satisfying on the emotional palate. I loved it, and it was definitely getting me through this difficult time at present, along with how much keeping in touch (without touching) my own family and friends has been. It’s one of those shows that shares both such dark struggle and passionate triumph and hope, and I’m glad that I chose now of all times to get around to watching it (though initially I chose it because it was the month of March, and it’s called March Comes In Like a Lion so ha ha).  Regardless, while I can’t speak for the manga as I haven’t read that, I recommend the anime to anyone who’s interested, and who’s anxious right now and needs something to binge in this time of self-isolation and still get the warm-fuzzies.

Incidentally, Rei is among a small group of fictional characters, all of who have hit particularly close to home with me. He’s almost a boy version of me: his introversion, his experiences with depression (some of the thoughts he had circling in his head while struggling with that were, a lot of times, verbatim the same as the ones I’ve had, which gave me chills if nothing else), the fact that he had to learn how to “survive” school not because school itself was hard, but just because of the ostracizing social structure, that he lost his blood family and went to live with another, that he wraps himself up in something to cut off the pain that everything else causes him (with him it’s shogi, with me it’s writing)–these things all resonated with my own experiences of losing and regaining family. So much so that at this point, I’ve set aside an idea for doing a separate post on his character. You know, when I get to a few more of the hundreds of other post drafts I have on the backburner.

The shounen anime Kimestu No Yaiba takes the traditional shounen trope of “main character loses whole family to tragedy and that sets him on the hero’s journey he probably wouldn’t have taken otherwise”, and creates what I’d consider the most emotionally engaging shounen I’ve ever watched (and this coming from the same young lady who got herself hooked on Fairy Tail after putting it off for months and months because she told herself she’d never fall into the “shounen trap”). Not only is it done by the godly studio ufotable who put Fate on the map with Fate/Zero, scored by one of my most favorite composers, Yuki Kajiura, but it also features one of the most emotionally engaging shounen fights I have ever seen, and that primarily comes from its focus on the family bond between the main protagonist, Tanjiro Kamado, and his sister-turned-demon, Nezuko, and how searching in the memories of his father, he rediscovers a technique to use that helps him survive a fight that would have otherwise killed him and his sister both.

Fruits Basket (both the original anime adaptation from 2001, and the the reboot coming out now) takes the concept of a family curse and examines how that affects certain of its members, and the ripple effect that comes from one outsider–a young girl grieving the death of her mother–deciding to befriend him through that anime “quirk of fate”. The curse itself being certain members of the family turning into animals of the Chinese zodiac when under stress or…hugged by a member of the opposite sex. Classic. And at first, yeah, is it a bit silly, but then you see how it’s affected those members of the family born with the Zodiac spirits of this curse. Like how one of them has to pretend that he isn’t his mother’s son, because his mother was horrified by the fact that the first time she held her child, he turned into a rabbit, and so, to ease her suffering, she had her memories of her having giving birth to him erased. Which gives credence to the idea that any idea can work, as long it’s executed well. Whether an idea unique will mean nothing if the idea itself is executed poorly.

And the criminally underrated anime film, Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms, tells a fantasy story of a young woman who follows the emotional arc of discovering what it means to be a mother. Maquia, one of a race of immortal people called the Iorph, is separated from the rest of her kind after a  mortal human kingdom attacks them for their power. Alone upon her escape from capture, she comes across a mortal human family who’re all dead, save for their newborn baby boy, and she takes it upon herself to raise the boy as his mother. Along the way she learns what it means to be a mother, the pain that comes with watching a loved one grow old and die and leaving you behind. To say that I felt things in that story would be grave understatement. And it comes from a place of genuine familial emotion: the film’s director and writer, Mari Okada, drew from her own relationship to her own mother.

Even in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the idea of the found family and the idea of family in general isn’t lost on its writers, particularly in regards to Guardians of the Galaxy, which touches not only families, but family abuse. Never mind that it involves people from alien worlds, cyborg assassins, and the like,  it still manages to have a very human resonance. And of particular note is a part of Natasha Romanov’s character arc, and how much she had come to view the Avengers as a family, while at the same time trying to repay the debt of all the lives she’d taken by saving lives instead. Which results in interactions like the very touching sort of brother-sister banter between her and Steve Rogers (that’s right, a male-female pair I don’t actually ship).

In the world of books, The Girl at Midnight, and Daughter of Smoke and Bone both involve found family subplots and explore those in their own creative ways.

We have Echo in The Girl at Midnight, raised by a group of bird-ish people called Avicen, and she gets to live in the attic of a library (lucky), and play a little with the magic she otherwise wouldn’t have gotten to if she hadn’t ended up adopted into her situation. I’m nearly finished with the sequel, The Shadow Hour, and we did get a glimpse of the life she had before: she’d run away from her birth mother, who was an abusive drunk to her daughter, which hurts on the very fundamental fact that we are born in the world with the idea hardwired in there somewhere that our mothers are supposed to love us unconditionally, and certainly never hurt us. It hurt me in my own way too, as my father was an alcoholic, and while he wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t abusive either, just more of a lost soul, I suppose, which can carry its own problems trying to function as a parent.

While I wasn’t too keen on the vision Echo has of her past characterizing her mother as the sort of abusive drunk you’d find…eh…like, in an amateur play, it could be argued that the idea was that the vision was based on her memory of her mother, and thus her perception of her at the time. Which was yeah, a mother who spouted nothing but verbal abuse at her daughter and hit her, and for seemingly no reason. And later on, when she discusses it with one of her close friends, not only does her friend tell her that it’s not from whom we are born that defines us, but also that even if her mother had her complicated reasons for why she was the way she was as a parent, the simple fact that’s irrelevant, and there’s never a “good” or “justifiable” reason to hurt a child. That it’s one’s own makes it all the more saddening.

For Daughter of Smoke and Bone, we have another eccentric waif in Karou, raised by a family of people called “chimaera” (not like the ones from Fullmetal Alchemist, these are a mishmash of different animal parts, sometimes human parts too). It too involves a complicated sort of father-daughter relationship that unfortunately seems to have ended in tragedy (I’ve only finished book one), as the slowburn story meticulously reveals that our heroine is being hidden to keep her safe from a threat that stems from a grand, epic, interdimensional war between chimaeras and angels. Last I saw, it looked like the father figure was probably dead, and unfortunately he and Karou hadn’t parted the last time they saw each other on the…best of terms, to put it mildly. Like with Kiritsugu Emiya’s estrangement from his daughter Illya in Fate, this one too hurts in that same, “what could have been, but never will be” way.

Then you’ve got a graphic novels like Saga, written by Brian K. Vaughn and illustrated by Fiona Staples (published by Image Comics), which, again, I was drawn to merely on the premise of it being about a male and female of two different alien races on opposing sides going AWOL together and ending up having a baby daughter along the way. I haven’t got too much into graphic novels aside from this and Monstress (also published by Image Comics), written by Marjorie Liu and illustrated by Sana Takeda (which deals with dead mother and mother-daughter issues against a very dark fantasy setting), but from what I’ve read so far, that premise has delivered as far as emotionally anchoring me to the story is concerned. Couple forced to flee for their lives + newborn introduced to the situation = my interest.

And that’s basically what it boils down to, beyond merely it’s emotional fulfillment for me. Apart from the family and friends I have found in my own life, it’s one other way I can regain something of what I lost in the passing of my parents. Even more than that, it’s a way for me to process it, after initially refusing to process it at all, especially when it comes to my own writing. In some ways, the novel I’m currently working on, the crux of which involves a father-daughter relationship, is a wish fulfillment of my own for the difficult months I spent with my father, between when my mother died and then when he himself died. Which even here is something that’s difficult for me talk about so straightforwardly, so the catharsis I get from writing about these things is far more valuable and useful to me. Even the deconstructional value of the dysfunctional versions of any parent-child relationship, not just father-daughter ones.

Exploring these themes both in writing and reading nurtures feelings and reinforces how important those feelings are. Found families in particular can be a lense through which we can begin to view people who are not related to us by blood still as kin, if only for the fact that we all are human. Family themes engender hope, even in the case of dysfunctional families, and it’s moving to see families who work to earn each other’s love as well as love unconditionally, depending on circumstances. Especially when death and danger threaten to tear those bonds apart, only for those bonds to emerge stronger than ever.

In times like these, don’t forget those you care about the most, or even those who you know who don’t receive as much care as they should, and reach out if you can (and thanks to the internet, reaching out remotely isn’t out of the question). The simple act of looking out for someone else is one of the most beautiful things about being human in my opinion, more so that it’s not even an exclusively human thing, which serves to draw we humans closer to each other. It’s a precious thing, and losing that would be a tragedy indeed in the long run. So as I press onward with this thing called living from day to day, I’ll keep seeking new family dynamics that inspire me with joy, with sorrow, and with hope. Particularly the hope that I’m not the only one who finds value in seeking these out in stories far and wide, and learning from them, and taking them sincerely to heart.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure I’m keeping up with the currently running Kakushigoto, incidentally an anime about a father who draws adult manga and tries to keep the nature of his profession a secret from his young daughter. Hijinks and heartwarmingness I’m sure are in store. In the meantime, also enjoy this very emotional Fullmetal Alchemist AMV, as well as a revisit to the “Shelter” music video by Porter Robinson. Because fathers and daughters.

  Family Bonds So. I wanted to keep up a momentum of positivity up given current world circumstances, which means I figured it was time I expressed and explored my love for family tropes in stories, found or otherwise.

[captain-fiza-khan-123-stuff]

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[1]

Underway of Pierre Bourdieu, the articulation "airs" … in the enchanted strategy for "need made honorableness". Immense quantities of them act (in explicit settings, in any occasion) in a way that is totally with respect to their sex, but then experience an authentic offensiveness for this sort of conduct - a not many of the respondents portrayed by Jean-Claude Kauf man feel thusly "got" by their penchants, which push them to do all the family work despite themselves in spite of the way that they consider this work unsavory [2]

[2]

Jean-Claude Kaufmann, La Trame conjugale, Paris, Nathan, 1992 … . Others - and from time to time comparable ones - have masked objectives or feelings in perfect abundancy with the speculations of their sort, anyway didn't build up the penchants which would allow them to consent to these speculations, and this divergence between their mentalities to act and their wants (or feelings) are furthermore a potential wellspring of disquiet or frustration for them. A couple of the auxiliary school youngsters met by Muriel Darmon in her work on anorexia have thus joined the standard of slimness constrained on women in our social requests, without at the same time having molded the dietary examples that would allow them to fit in with this standard [3]

[3]

Muriel Darmon, Becoming anorexic. A sociological strategy,…  .

2One of the ways to deal with speak to these blunders between what individuals do and what they acknowledge or need is to concentrate on most of events of socialization to which they have been revealed during their lifetime.The practices of the housewives portrayed by Jean-Claude Kaufmann or of the lycéennes met by Muriel Darmon result, believe it or not, neither from their carelessness nor from their nonappearance of "will" yet from how both were related by administrators plural, bearers of different and on occasion restricting blending measures. As Bernard Lahire creates:

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The (relative) consistency of inclinations [… ] that each individual may have camouflaged will depend upon the consistency of the socialization models to which he has been persecuted.

The more an individual is set, simultaneously or continuously, inside a dominant part of non-homogeneous, and sometimes in any event, clashing, social settings, the past this experience was lived,

also, the more we are dealing with an individual with an inheritance of emanations, of non-homogeneous penchants or breaking points, not bound together, moving as demonstrated by the social setting in which it is brought to develop. [4]

[4]

Bernard Lahire, "From the theory of habitus to a human science…

4My target here is to draw out this clashing round of the different masters related with sex socialization, by looking at a little analyzed piece of it, the way by which youngsters build up their relationship to the beautification of the body

. During an assessment where I looked for - specifically - to perceive how adolescents learn or not to consider their wonderfulness and to manage it (through "care" or "work" of body beautification,

I mean the course of action of practices by which individuals follow up on their body to make it conform to an area or overall immaculate of sleek significance),

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I have doubtlessly had the alternative to see that, at the present time ​​practice, a particular number of youngsters mask techniques for acting that don't conform to their strategies for speculation, [5]

[5]

Of the youngsters I met, about half are … .

5In the going with pages, I offer pictures of two of them, in which this mistake between strategies for acting and viewpoints shows up particularly evidently.

The first (Sonia) shows a remarkable disdain for plan, diamonds, beauty care products and haircut, but, it can't, it shows up, can not help anyway give standard thought to her greatness. The second (Léa) considers the to be of the body as a certified and charming development yet the sensible penchants that she has set up elsewhere are not entirely a prevention to her yearning to improve herself.Subsequent to delineating how these youngsters address the beautification work and how they continue right now ​​practice, I will attempt to highlight the conditions of socialization which made possible such a gap among depictions and practices. To this end, I will be enthusiastic about the action of three authorities inclined to expect a vocation in the genuine socialization of youngsters - peers, the media and guardians [6]

[6]

Léa is a solitary youth. The people from his increasingly far off family live…  - and I will attempt to show how these different pros have added to shaping the practices and depictions of the respondents in regards to the matter of beautification [7]

[7]

Concerning this article, my assessment of the effect of…  .

Sonia D.: rejection for made by improving the body and stress for its appearance

6Sonia's people are both of Portuguese birthplace [8]

[8]

Mr. besides, Mrs. D. might not want to participate in the gatherings…  . Mr. D. tackles his own as a painter plasterer; his significant other is without capable activity.

Sonia doesn't have the foggiest thought what work she should do later. As showed by his CM2 educator, his insightful results are "poor" and his work "lacking".

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7At a couple centers during the assessment, I could hear Sonia introducing herself as a horrendous youngster and imparting disdain for the beautification work. A brief scene found in class sets up a first depiction:

8

Friday 4:30 p.m., the understudies are dealing with their things and planning to get back

In the disturbance that goes before the hour of the outing, the expert reminds that the class photo will happen the following Monday, and he jokes that the youngsters are drawn nearer to make themselves superb for this occasion: "So Monday is the class photo. So youngsters, you won't disregard to make yourself beautiful and put your pink pulls back from hair! »The hullabaloo ends up being logically genuine, a couple of children chuckle or smile, and Sonia kicks off out loud:« No, it is more intelligent to make the missed youngsters! "

[Field journal of March 28, 2003.]

9During the gathering, Sonia again and again raises comparatively that she isn't enthused about her greatness.

She explains that she "couldn't care less for" putting on beauty care products; she says she isn't enthused about pieces of clothing and structure; she also says that she "couldn't care less the smallest piece" about her haircut.

10To acknowledge this presentation of herself, Sonia would along these lines simply have disdain for created by decorating the body. Regardless, the gathering and field observations show that, essentially, she ponders her wonderfulness more than these talks would suggest.

So apparently Sonia doesn't "care at" about her haircut. If she much of the time leaves her semi-long hair free, it moreover happens that she on occasion brushes her hair with a couple of little networks tied with tinted adaptable gatherings. She in like manner had her streaks colored in March, and this distinction in hair style obviously fulfilled her. The following week, the expert in actuality uncovers to me how Sonia carried on the essential day she came to class with her locks,

also, whether or not this record in all probability contains a segment of adornment (the unforeseen tone of the teacher shows that he was indisputably aggravated by the direct of his understudy), it before long leaves no vulnerability about the pleasure and the pride felt by Sonia that day. The instructor explains that she didn't stop chatting with her neighbors to uncover to them how "her mother's friend"

had her streaks, and that she in like manner moved around the examination lobby a ton without agree to go give her woman companions her hair.

11Similarly, Sonia is far from impassive in regards to the elegant appearance of her articles of clothing.

At school, she reliably wears outfits that eagerly follow the polite style existing separated from everything else - T-shirts from the DDP brand , a short pale pink tank top, trumpet pants (excluding an erratically cleaned particularly elegant) ,

or on the other hand even sock sweaters (checking one from the Lulu Castagnette brand ). Sonia has express clothing essentials (she says herself that she is "irksome"), and when her mother gets her pieces of clothing that she doesn't care for [9]

[9]

Madame D. buys only her daughter's pieces of clothing., she productively won't wear them:

12

[When my mother brings me pieces of clothing back] she doesn't quickly expel the ticket, since she hasn't the faintest idea whether I'm going to like it. [… ] Sometimes she keeps them

[the clothes], considering the way that she can't be certain whether I have to put them on… But if she sees that I am not putting them on, she brings them back.

13The way Sonia is dressed upon the appearance of the gathering is itself revealing of the thought she pays to her dress appearance. That day, Sonia went to the pool close to the beginning of the night she notwithstanding everything wears her swimming outfit when I appear at her home;

regardless, it's definitely not a one-piece swimsuit for an exuberant swimmer, yet a particularly flirtatious outfit, made out of an abroad blue bathing suit and a short, variegated pareo of a comparable concealing.

Evaluation of Sonia's case subsequently reveals a particular difference between her disdain for created by decorating the body and her genuine practices, and this irregularity can be deciphered as a result of the way that the mandates directed to her subject of its greatness are to some degree restricting.

Make sense of how to hate the beautification work

14First, Sonia grew up with a father who continually encouraged her to hold onto socially described practices as masculine.

For example, he chose her in a Viet Vo Dao club - a game he practices himself - at six years of age; he moreover took her to a soccer coordinate for her e