#humanness is so beautiful. it is so real and tangible and I love the way that seeing other people’s

[enbetweeen]

Your humanity is heavenly

[pandaspwnz]

just finished rewatching EXU: Calamity and once again cried so much. It really is one of the most masterful stories I've ever seen/heard, and absolutely the best actual play series ever done, bar none. I'm in such awe of Brennan's dm'ing skills, I adore Marisha's beautiful showing of emotions, I love seeing how much Sam and Travis love their children via how much they feel for these fictional ones, Luis' portrayal of Zerxus was so heartfelt and grounded, Lou always brings his whole soul into what he does and this was no exception, and Aabria being willing to make the difficult choices and how she shows Laerryn's dedication is just. Ugh. chefs kiss. Not to mention the group dynamics, the Aabria-Travis hype man squad, the Marisha-Lou/Marisha-Luis grabby shenanigans, how Sam and Aabria play the perfect divorcees, they're all just so fantastic and did such a good job, etc etc. I truly love Calamity so much, I can't believe it's a real show, I can't believe how fucking GOOD it is. Every single one of those people brought their A-game, but I really do especially have to call out Brennan Lee Mulligan. The way that man portrays people and humanity, how even in the end of things he speaks of the importance of hope, how he narrates and weaves the most beautiful tales and makes it so alive and tangible, how he knows exactly when to drop in some comedy amidst tragedy without detracting from it... he's simply fantastic. I'm in awe of them all!!

[rawmeknockout]

I dunno if it's still in the grace period, but man I wanna ride Rodimus in his holoform like a fuckin bronco in his own backseat

//respectfully cunt and pussy are used in a gender-neutral sense 😌//

Rodimus holds tight to your waist while you ride him like a champ. The up and down movements of your beautiful, alien body hypnotizing, he's never seen anything so charge-inducing. He can feel both the holoform and his real metal body surge with arousal. His frame is riddled with excess sparks of energy, armor uncomfortably tight around his sensitized protoform. Although he enjoys the sight of his fake flesh body pushing up into your cunt, Rodimus can't help superimposing his real frame onto the experience. He would love to see you try and take his spike to the hilt, stuffed nearly to capacity.

Your fingers clench and curl into his collared shirt, nails burying deep into the faux fabric. His frame rocks and shudders with your frantic movements, cab bouncing with the rhythm. His engine rumbles and purrs with the moaning of his holoform icon, his true frame trembling underneath and around you. The slap of his damp skin against yours is so real, feels so tangible, you can't help but be brought into the illusion and lose all perception of reality. Your brain can't help but accept the touch of another human, real or not. A sensation you didn't know you even missed.

The charge builds beneath his protoform, pleasure filtering from his holo-avatar to his mech frame and doubling back, all of the sensations blending together. With you on top, clenching around him with your soft cunt, Rodimus loses track of where he ends and the mech-made construction begins. He grabs hold of your hips, keeping you firmly rooted in place as he fucks up into you, chasing the sensation of your body welcoming him over and over. The charge finally reaches the brink of overload, Rodimus' metal frame snapping and popping with it, tensing and jerking upon release. The gentle whimpering and moaning from Rodimus' mouth, the minute, spastic jerk of his hips, is enough to make you come soon after, taken with the way his avatar's brow furrows and eyes squeeze shut. His mouth is open around gasps of air he doesn't need, chest heaving in programmed mimicry.

You roll your hips down upon his lap, milking him to the point of overstimulation. With each tug of your body, Rodimus' cab hitches around you, quickly building up steam again.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your true colors - (4/7) Green"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color green, the fourth of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

green is the color of healing, balance, peace, abundance, hope, money, growth, love, connection, surrender, trust (heart chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

you can find the other colors' readings in the pacs list in my pinned post

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

It feels like you've been waiting for something for a lot of time now. It could be love or connections, it could be a good stable career (and income), it could be also "feeling healed". About this last point let me add this reminder that healing is about finding a way to react in an healthier way to your possible triggers (yes, there may still be some here and there, but it doesn't mean you're not succeeding at what you do: pay attention to how differently you are reacting compared with the past. Maybe you are not spiralling so easily as before or maybe you're recognizing what's behind your trigger: that's a sign you're doing your healing right. I know it feels like it's never ending, but the moment you'll find a balance and not let yourself get discouraged by each fallback you may encounter, that's the moment you'll understand for real what I -well, many psychologists- mean. Take it slow). I feel you may even get envious of others having (apparently/easily) what you are trying so hard to obtain but seem to not be able to. You may be comparing yourself with others too (please, don't... you're your own type of special, don't lose sight of this truth). I think your heart is also suggesting you to calm down and wait, to not be too impatient. You are a very loving, kind, gentle soul, and ofc you (even unconsciously) feel like you deserve something back (you indeed do!!) but... it seems you're getting the absence of positive immediate signs (or even supposedly slightly negative signs -which may be just tests or corrections in your journey) as a huge NO from Universe. Tbh the more you keep asking for a sign, for something tangible, the more you are giving space for uncertainty and self doubts and ruining your manifestations (not saying it's not human at all, we all go there and it's okay. But try to stay as much as you can connected with your positivity, without avoiding paying attention to the negative side of your life: nobody wants toxic positivity ofc). I think you are asked to give yourself time and space. To enjoy the show, somehow (even if yes, it may sound bittersweet at first but it's more like... "let things flow/go", trust).

You may also not be giving your heart the right time and space to heal something. Or you're not paying real attention to something: maybe you feel you have healed your problem and got over it but it's not entirely so: you may even get dreams or other impulses from your mind about this. Our minds tend to recall what our hearts haven't healed fully, so if you think/dream about someone or something and it makes you overwhelmed or nervous/scared, chances are you need to still work on that a little more to get over it and leave space for new and better things to come. You are someone who rarely gives up but ofc, as every human does, sometimes you may feel disheartened. We all have dark periods when things get harder: when these happens try to reconnect with your heart (and take care of it, maybe putting your hands over your heart chakra and sending it love could help you too). You are such an hopeful and positive (maybe with others more than yourself... try to include yourself too) and also an abundant person, you just need to remind this yourself and put this type of energy into the Universe, so that the magic can happen and you can get more. Keep believing in your abilities and in yourself. And that you deserve so much more. I think the Universe is giving you some kind of feeling in this sense, like your intuition may be telling you to not give up to the dark but to just be patient a bit more (despite those darker days) cause bigger things are being prepared just for you, so yeah trust it. Trust yourself and your heart. You're not asking for too much anyway, but big things and changes (like going the opposite way from what you're used, like even changing your mental pattern) require a bigger amount of time. I think for many of you it's about love (even self love tbh or any other type of connection you have experienced: romantic, friendship, family...), maybe you need to heal/grieve and get over a past connection (situation/feeling) to get a new and possibly better one. I just read this by chance and its fitting so I guess it's for you: "Give yourself the permission to heal the same thing more than once". Allow yourself the same kindness and time respect you allow others.

song: hypnotized | purple disco machine, sophie and the giants (highly recommend reading the lyrics)

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pile 2

Your pile is giving me a hard time (luv ya). It feels like you don't want to let me in... maybe you tend to close off to others in general. I think you may have been through something big in the past (abandonment wounds more likely, someone left you out of the blue or you couldn't really trust people being there for you to help you when you needed them) and now you simply fear letting people in (it'd mean let them hurt you once again ofc). Some bits of you though may be starting to occasionally pour out of you, some even without control (your inner child wants more attention prolly)... maybe you are unconsciously trying to still be in touch with others, to connect more (we're humans, we need connections). I bet you feel alone these days, and I am sorry. Probably your heart still wants you to let down your walls or build some window, so to see if it's worthy to let someone in... maybe. I guess in love (any type) we have to take the risk of trusting others, of being vulnerable and letting them in. I think love (again any type) is our conscious choice to give someone else the power to hurt us... but still it's up on us to stop that hurt when we start to feel it. And talk about it before it gets too much, do not pretend things are always fine and you can take it all. There's such an overflow of emotions from you... You are abundant of love (or miss it so bad, no in between), you cannot keep it inside anymore and you're searching for something or someone to be able to take it all in and free you from that abundance (and give you back as much too and stop that lack, despite many of you mostly need to give). But maybe you fear being rejected and accused of being too much or hard to handle. Beware that yes, not everyone may be ready to be overwhelmed by your love or requests (as you may ofc not be ready to give it to someone since day 1), so just take things slow and talk. Remember also that some people may not be able to handle their own emotions to start with, so when you pour yours onto them, they may get overwhelmed and project onto you their fears and accuse you of being what you're not: "too much". We're all different, but it doesn't mean it cannot work (at least not always: it depends on the specific people involved). What I feel like telling you is... trust your intuition: it will guide you to the right people and places. You don't have to do it all alone, you don't have to stay alone... just take time to get used again with sharing and slowly letting down your walls. Not everyone is here to hurt you, and you can trust yourself in being able to recognize such people anyway and close them off, while letting others who deserve in. You're really full of love anyway... I don't have any other way to explain this. Your energy is so lovely. Maybe get a plant or a puppy, start pouring your love onto them, they will ofc receive it all happily and give back in their own way (a plant growing healthily and giving you flowers or even fruits, if applies, or having pretty shining green leaves is its way to tell you "thank you, ily").

This said, I do think you need to meditate and take some time to talk with your heart, decide what you can compromise on and what not (at least in the beginning, when starting reconnecting with others) and things like that. To meet the type of people you want to meet and deserve to meet, and get what you want, you need to be more open and even start going to search for them also in places you may not be considering atm (be the first one starting a convo if you want; don't always wait for others: maybe you both are waiting for the other so... try. If they "reject" you, it doesn't have to be you the cause of this rejection. It could be their "problem" too or that we're simply not made for everyone as not everyone is made for us). We can find different people in different places, even where we would never go (sometimes we are convinced we don't like something/someone but if we gave ourself the chance to try, we may even change our mind). Trust your guts for this, let yourself be called even by things you probably would have never considered joining or doing before (to get a different result, we need to do something different and it works for people too: not just in the way we act but also in the places we go to, a change can be needed and bring success). Idk why I am suddenly thinking about work with you. Maybe you want to change job or are moving somewhere else? That's good: changing, meeting different people and/or cultures may totally help you get a different approach in your life too and realize better your needs and that not everyone is the same ever in the world (you don't have to go the distance to see this btw). Totally give it a shot (confirmation, if you need: a change -probably even just in behaviour/routine or anything- may bring you wealth too not just in connections but money as well). My nose is itching so bad with you, probably you'll get some important download about what you'll have to do soon to get what you want, maybe even a dream or sign or something. You may be feeling lost so... yeah, this download will help you in your journey. Just let yourself get out more, even physically out of your home not just out of your own cage you have buildt inside around your heart. Let yourself be seen and found. You can survive anything, you have yourself, be sure of that. And anyway, you won't be alone forever. You can change this, your people are waiting for you (I literally had to check the time like yeah... it's time, come on!). Ofc keep trying to heal the reasons behind whatever is that is blocking you or caused you to cage yourself. Maybe for some of you healing will happen or improve when you'll meet other people, so it's fine if for now you don't feel like going too deep. It will happen at the right time, trust your own guidance.

song: basic instinct | the acid; running mate | lemolo (got called by both, so yeah.. you're lucky pile 2 ;) )

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pile 3

You are someone not scared of putting in hard work in order to get something you want. And I think you also have a very good mind that supports you in taking the right decisions or at least not giving up at the first obstacles or difficulties. I think you know it's okay to be a learner at first (and anyway, everyone is, and your heart knows this well) because you know you can see your results whenever you put effort into what you do. Things come easily to you, especially when you create this magic connection and balance between your light, heart/love and soul. When you connect really with your core center, and realize you are working for something you really deeply want and desire, you know you can do anything and go through anything. You change, adapt, grow, and always get to see abundance/success or attract it in your life. Or get to its side. Somehow though, and that's normal, at times you may get tired of always having to put in so much effort in all you do. At times you may be wondering if you're doing it all right and for something, or if you're actually being seen. I do think you are not being seen and appreciated that often to be honest, and this can cause you some self worth doubts. Maybe the people around you do not really give you feedback as much as you'd like... maybe you had to grow up and always had to work hard and get many positive results in order to get praised by your caregivers or others (contrary to others around you: you felt you had to put in a double effort to get the same kind of appreciation -it wasn't you the "wrong" one anyway, js), and this habit stayed with you. It helped you feel included and appreciated. You probably wear/wore masks sometimes or with someone and you kinda lost yourself in the process (or cause you focused mostly on your material life for long). But your heart knows that's not what is all about. You don't have to do anything in particular to be loved and appreciated, you only need to be you. I also think you need to work only on what you really want for yourself (mentioned above), not for others: you're caring and nice but, you're here for you and if you have to overwork to be seen... that's not good. Ofc to do this, you need to start a journey of getting back to yourself and knowing yourself again. You may have people pleasing tendencies and need to do what others require you to do, but that's not always what you want to do too. Try choosing with your heart and set up some boundaries. Protect your purity and energy from anything evil that may try to get your best and use your abilities and talents only to your own personal advantage. I think your career/grades will get better the moment you start doing this too (ofc, for those who can resonate).

Your heart is probably tired of not being acknowledged for who you really are, of being taken for granted... I feel like you may be thinking of giving up sometimes. Maybe you also had to be the responsible one since a young age, to almost parent your caregivers and they often came to you for support or you had to take decisions you didn't want to take. I perceive sadness around you and I'm very sorry. A heavy heart. Don't give up, please. Not yet. Ofc, take a break but don't give up entirely, especially if there's something you really want to do. Know you can always ask for support to others, even professional figures and you can take back what's yours and who you are. You can start again and start from yourself and who you really are. And you can even get away from whatever is hurting you if you need that. I do think you need peace most and foremost... You have worked too hard for too long, you felt in charge so many times and you did so much you didn't want to do. Now it's time to take a vacation (real or mental and emotional, at least) and relax your mind and heart. Heal your heart and then start your own personal journey. You have learned so much through these experiences, you know your worth and you know you can always make it and survive, so you know you're invincible. I don't have to be the one telling you for sure. ;) Just don't give up now even if your heart feels so tired. Better connections, people that will see you for who you are for real and appreciate you, will come in your life. Find yourself again. I do think there's a real lot in front of you to still be uncovered, and maybe also inside of you. A huge new (balanced) world you'll love and that will bring you so much more. You're still under construction, so keep building yourself up. I am seeing a cocoon/embryo, so yeah, it pairs with the green lemon in your photo too.

song: you are enough | sleeping at last

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

I think Taylor points to these references purposefully so who knows if any of this bothers her but I have just noticed such an intense turn around from swifties previously needing to defend that Taylor’s music is about so much more than men to now hypothetical, but ultra specific moments in her relationships being the topic of like, almost all song discussion. It’s not coming from an intentionally sexist place anymore, but still feels…odd.

I've been seeing much of this today and unsurprisingly I have some opinions on this. And it is okay if your opinions are different and it's also okay to acknowledge there's 23948723894732 shades of nuance when it comes to the emotional intent that we bring to the table when we talk about Taylor's music (or anyone's really, but obviously we're in the TS fandom here and talking about a very clearly personal and detail-oriented body of work).

Imo - Taylor writes songs to understand herself. And she then puts that work out into the world to have other people understand her and to have a tangible artifact of her experiences as a permanent record to validate that what she feels and what she has gone through is real and to have people perceive that and gain an understanding of her life. And then we as consumers of said art get to take those songs and feel less alone in the world because we see ourselves in those songs and can feel the gentle, ghostlike presence of a person we do not know affirming to us across the ether through this beautiful thing they've created that they've gone through something similar. And that bonds us and that's part of what makes Taylor's work so vivid and so personal for a lot of us. And then we also have the added gift of being able to take songs written about her experiences and shape and mould them to fit the contours of the lives we have lived that have nothing to do with the song's original intent.

"Tied Together With A Smile" is about Taylor's friend in high school experiencing an eating disorder and it's about my lifelong body issues and disordered relationship with food.

"tolerate it" is about a relationship that Taylor experienced with a partner who never fully appreciated her or saw her and it's about coming out to my parents and then never talking about it ever again and blatantly ignoring a part of my identity I wanted to share with them.

"Better Man" is about a relationship that Taylor experienced at the hands of someone who did horrible things to her that made it impossible for her to trust him and love him and it's about my mom and how I will always yearn to have a closer relationship with her but I know it will always be just out of our grasp.

I see my best friend's ex-boyfriend in "peace". I see the guy who stood me up on my 20th birthday in "The Moment I Knew." I see my ex-girlfriend in "The Way I Loved You".

I can layer all of my personal experiences on top of the topography that her discography has given me and they can feel 100x more nostalgic and sentimental because I'm able to understand the complexity, nuance, and humanity of Taylor's world as she writes it because I care about her! I want to know those things about her! I want to know what she's gone through! I want to feel her feelings! I feel connected to her and to her art and to myself through her music! I can feel all those tender things about my life and the smell of the air and what I was wearing and what address I was living at the first time I listened to these songs BECAUSE IT'S ALL OF THE ABOVE. IT'S ALL OF THE ABOVE.

[amerricanartwork]

True Love Conquers All (Lilypad Essay cont.)

Ever since I realized the fairytale parallel was one of the main reasons I ship Lilypad, I've wanted to draw this, so here it is! Sig and Moon as Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora!

Actually, though, besides the drawing I'm also making this because I wanted to expand on that point from my Lilypad essay; there's still more I wanna gush about regarding the fairytale parallel!

I was too nervous to say it before, because it's derived largely from my personal tastes. However, I really wanna just write about my opinions on it now. Much of it's actually the feelings I've had about several ships before in various other fandoms, yet I've never really had the courage to express these feelings openly because I have yet to find even one person in any of these fandoms who feels the same way. However, I started thinking about it again, and I think it's about time I get it out somehow, at the very least to express these feelings in some tangible way so they don't stay bottled up forever. And maybe, just maybe, to find someone who likes these themes as much as I do!

Again, it's definitely very personal, so I don't mind if you completely disagree with all of it. But with that being said, if you want to read an additional 1,846 words on Lilypad fantasies, it's just below the cut!

To elaborate on why I love ships with fairytale parallels so much, it has to do with the poetic feeling stories like Sleeping Beauty seem to carry. I must preface that I don’t know the original fairytale, I’m pretty much entirely going off the 1959 animated Disney film, but even so I still love various themes within it and how they can be applied to other stories. Sleeping Beauty isn’t the only old Disney movie where I interpret these themes, or even the only animated story in general where these themes can be interpreted, but I think it’s overall the most similar to Lilypad specifically because of the whole “fair maiden dies and gets revived by the prince’s love” dynamic.

Something I’ve come to realize, especially upon developing a love for Rain World specifically, is that I adore stories about accepting one’s own nature and learning how to have it coexist with your personal goals rather than conflict with it. Sleeping Beauty has this not only through the eternal bond between Aurora and Phillip (I mean, “Once Upon a Dream” literally seems to be about how the singer will always love the person they fell for even if their love seemed too good to be true), but in the whole curse put on Aurora and the “true love conquers all” message. The conflict is all about how to ensure Aurora’s safety despite the impending doom of Maleficent’s curse on her, which is made more intense by how the curse can’t really be stopped, only lessened in severity. However, the inevitability of true love’s triumph over all obstacles, and really the inevitability of nature as a whole, is just so beautiful to me because it’s something so universal. As much as we may try to hide it, we humans are still animals, and still a part of nature as much as any other animal is, so the idea that forces as powerful and omnipresent as natural phenomenon could just as easily be on your side and working to help you reach your goals instead of trying to hurt you and keep you from them is very comforting specifically because of how powerful and inevitable these forces are. I mean, if forces like those can pose a seemingly impossible challenge when they seem to oppose your goals, what if they could also supply seemingly invincible support if you learned to work with them? Hence, why true love conquers all. It’s basically, “I can’t stop this thing, but maybe I don’t actually need to”. And the fact that both this and the next theme I’ll write about are present in stories which are, by this point, quite old, and can even be interpreted in newer and more recent stories just helps to further support their eternal, everlasting power by adding a sense of real-life timelessness to it all that I just find so beautiful!

Part of my love for stories like this actually comes from a specific natural force I freaking love and have been craving more of ever since I rewatched the old Disney movies and really begun to appreciate the poetic themes of them, and that force is the classic attraction between men and women. I’m not gonna get super into it now because I imagine I’ll have other chances to talk about this (again, Lilypad is far from the first ship I’ve derived this theme from, and I doubt it will be the last), but I’ll provide an intro of sorts to it here. If you’ve seen my full Lilypad essay you already know I’m a BIG fan of “inverses attract” ships, where the characters display opposite sides of the same base trait, conflict, or subject, and when they come together they help balance each other out in ways no one else can by offering each other the benefits unique to the other side of that subject. Well, simply put, if you ask me, what better example of this “inverses attract” dynamic exists in real life than the natural inverses of male and female, where the strong protectiveness and creative nurturing combine to literally create a family, from which all people come? The presence of the inverses attract dynamic is always nice to see in ships regardless of gender, but whether or not it occurs in this way specifically — that being whether or not it showcases the inverse characteristics of men and women and the positive potential when those forces combine as a team — is another major factor that, throughout my fandom experience so far, has determined which pairings I actively ship rather than just mildly smile at from time to time. (And on a side note, now that I have much more skill in art and feel more confident about my art, I figured it’s about time I start acting on that love more openly!)

So what in the WORLD does this all have to do with Lilypad?

Well, even disregarding how this very idea will basically be the major theme of my personal worm-off-the-string AU (I may elaborate on that more later because it’s just SO perfect for these particular characters and can even be interpreted in the base game to some degree), I think Lilypad, at least as I choose to imagine it, is the Rain World ship that best embodies this idea — that nature and instincts can actually help you once you simply stop fighting and accept them — more than any other in the fandom for a variety of reasons.

I’m actually going to start with how Looks to the Moon and No Significant Harassment, as strange as this may sound given who and what these characters are, actually do still display that feminine and masculine energy I love at least when I picture them, especially with Sig being confirmed as a “he” according to the wiki. It’s clear to me that Moon is very feminine (I mean, c’mon, her design in the CGs, how the moon is often associated with femininity and feminine things in real life, how she tries, even after her collapse, to connect with Five Pebbles and nurture their relationship in a very caring way, etc.), but I wanna elaborate on how part of the reason I love Sig as a character and the slag reset keys as a plot point so much is because it perfectly demonstrates that masculine protectiveness that happens in stories like Sleeping Beauty, where a man faces great trials all to rescue the fair maiden. Again, it may not have happened literally because Hunter had to deliver the slag keys, but the sentiment is the same if you ask me! And it’s always so nice to see because, again, he literally brought her back to life! How could it NOT be a sign of deep love and devotion that someone would go through so much trouble just to make sure you’re okay? 

It’s also great because I imagine the local group would have a tendency to not always take Sig seriously because he’s so careless about their purpose, so I’m sure the slag key stunt would also warrant a lot more respect for him from the other iterators. This is another thing I love seeing — both when the character everyone else overlooks finally uses their full power and their peers have to re-evaluate their impression of them, but specifically when men feel inspired to use their full power and skills to help the women they love! I love it because it demonstrates just how powerful and valuable femininity can be, shedding light on a more subtle kind of power, that being power through influence and aura rather than raw strength and stubbornness. Heck, I like to imagine wanting to protect Looks to the Moon and make sure she lasts as long as possible is a major reason why, in my AU, their physical interactions are when Sig and Moon finally begin to act on their love despite it having existed almost since Sig came online. Moon’s collapse would’ve shown both of them directly that she won’t be around forever, and if you ask Sig, someone as beautiful, kind, intelligent, noble, and all-around beloved as Looks to the Moon deserves to at least enjoy her life a little more before she fades (again), even if all the iterators falling apart is inevitable. But, coming back to what I said about nature, the inevitability of the eventual end is what makes the time they have left all the more precious!

And that’s the next part of Sleeping Beauty and fairytale-esque stories I see in Lilypad — there’s also the inevitability of this dynamic, which hits hard with Rain World iterators specifically because their whole purpose is fundamentally opposed to natural phenomena. Solving the Great Problem is, as far as I know, all about trying to escape the natural cycle of life, death, and reincarnation, and likely about escaping all natural cycles as a whole. And the iterators exist specifically to facilitate this rejection on a massive scale. So think about how poetic it would be that even they, seemingly so far detached, so far above these things, STILL fall in love and embrace these forces despite every attempt by the Ancients to prevent them from doing so! It’s made better by the fact that the iterators are machines and, even though they’re very much biomechanical ones (a big example of natural phenomena still manifesting in them despite their attempts to separate from it), one can argue they’re therefore somewhat detached from nature inherently, especially that bond between masculinity and femininity I discussed. So again, the fact it still finds a way to show up in them despite seemingly having much less reason to exist and the iterators themselves likely having much less desire to possess it just re-emphasizes how eternal it is. But once again, are they (and by extent, we the audience) sure that’s such a bad thing? 

Lilypad in an ideal scenario, to me, is of all the Rain World ships the strongest embodiment of “true love conquers all, and that’s not a bad thing after all!”

And it makes me more eager to develop my worm-off-the-string AU because I imagine that’s where their relationship really gets to flourish. Moon and Sig can finally enjoy that physical aspect of romance, and Moon in particular would, by that point, more confidently join him in rejecting the Ancients’ ascensionist philosophy. Not to mention how cute it would be to see them drawing parallels between their relationship and the love the Ancients used to feel for one another long ago, once again supporting true love as a truly timeless phenomenon. And it would branch off to not just embracing their romance that existed for so long but could never fully go anywhere, but learning to enjoy and partake in all the aspects of the world that were denied to them and that they were told to deny for who knows how long! And when it comes to not just for Sig and Moon, but the local group as a whole, what could be more poetic than that?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Man, a HUGE thank you to anyone who made it to the bottom of all this! To know that anyone bothered to at least consider what I have to say in this fandom is always nice, but with this in particular I greatly appreciate anyone who read it all! And again, PLEASE let me know if you agree with any of this, especially the parts about masculine-feminine teamwork. I'd love to know even one other person in one of my fandoms who's into that as well, and maybe even hear possible additions to it!

Regardless, I've gone on about this for so many words already. I hope you enjoyed the ideas, or at least the art! Thanks again for reading!

[donna-rinascimentale]

hiya! hope you doing well.

would you elaborate on the interpretation you were talking about in your Labyrinth post tags? what you said was really interesting and I never thought about it that way! 👀

also, hope you had fun watching! ✨✨✨

certainly.

i’d always been subscribed to the interpretation that the labyrinth is a metaphor for navigating coming of age, that the end of sarah’s hero’s journey is a means of balancing adult maturity with never losing a child’s sense of wonder and imagination. the fandom has thought up tons of explanations for where jareth falls in this scenario. is he a tangible antagonist, actively trying to get sarah to slip back into her old childish ways? a metaphor for adulthood, all that sarah is and isn’t ready for?

i think he’s all sarah’s creation. so does jim henson.

“He represents a lot of things that are a part of Sarah's world, what she's trying to figure out and what she's going through. … [Jareth] has no reality except what Sarah gives him, which she can constantly change.”

sarah seems to be very genre-savvy. she reads lines from a play titled the labyrinth, and she recognizes the puzzle of the two guards and implies she’s practiced it before in case she’d happen to encounter it. here, the labyrinth is a product of sarah’s fantasy, by which she navigates her adolescence and her parents’ divorce and her perceived lack of autonomy in a manner typical of a seasoned fantasy reader.

sarah is well aware that every fantasy hero needs a villain. the likeness she gives hers is that of her mother’s costar—as the former mrs. williams is a stage actress, shown in the photo on sarah’s vanity of her posing with a fellow actor who looks just like this jareth. sarah made jareth, made him as beautiful and dangerous as she believed he should be.

sarah made jareth.

to jareth, god is a sixteen-year-old girl.

imagine god, calling you by name, crowning you a king and giving you beauty and power. you were quite literally born for this. all you know is this role, building yourself and your kingdom just the way god wishes it.

then, god turns herself away from you.

you may feel betrayed. hollow, like you’ve been stripped of everything that makes you you. “you made me this way,” you might say.

Everything! Everything that you wanted, I have done. You ask the child to be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time, I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you.

“i was playing the role you put me in. what was i made for, if not you?

i can’t live within you.”

Just fear me, love me, do as I say

“let me play the role of villain, the role you made me to fill.”

and I would be your slave.

“your will be done.”

god is a sixteen-year-old girl who hasn’t yet figured out the way she wants to be worshipped. it’s a heavy burden, trying to satisfy someone who doesn’t know what she wants.

but there is hope for jareth.

fandom rarely debates on how to interpret the barn owl at the beginning of the film. we’re pretty much in consensus that it’s a manifestation of jareth, but that’s never given much thought.

when sarah asserts her power and escapes the labyrinth, jareth has once again taken the form of the owl. in the final scene, when sarah celebrates with her friends from the labyrinth, reconciling her love of fantasy with her maturity and self-growth, jareth flies away, smaller and smaller until he’s gone. here we turn to the age-old metaphor of flight as freedom.

in moving away from escapism and becoming an active participant in her own life, sarah has freed jareth from the role of villain. none of the friends in her room are human. be reminded again that jareth bears the likeness of a man present (at least tangentially) in sarah’s real life, who would likely feel disheartened knowing he’s blamed for something beyond his control.

because sarah has no more need for a jareth, there is no more jareth. and that’s arguably best for both of them.

(p.s.: i go to the theater tomorrow! i have a sarah-esque outfit put together and everything. thanks for wishing me well & know tomorrow can’t come soon enough for me… this film has been among my favorites for many many many years and each watch makes me find more to love. best cult i’ve ever joined)

[justalittlesolarpunk]

hi! i have been experiencing The Horrors lately (just general hopelessness about the state of the world and especially in regards to climate change) and i am just wondering - do you have any advice for incorporating climate action into one’s everyday life? i need to do something about this but the problem feels so big that i feel like i can’t, like i am drowning in it and i need to learn to swim

Hi my love, sorry it took me a while to respond, I’ve been quite tired!

So first off, the Horrors are reasonable, it’s a very sensible human response to the state of things around you and shows you have empathy and that you care. I say this because it’s all too easy to shame yourself for despair, but it’s natural that we fall into it sometimes.

In terms of doing climate action a little every day, there’s so much you can get your teeth into. For starters, there are personal choices, like giving up flying or meat and dairy if you can. Sure, these don’t add up to much, but they can really change how you feel and working with a smaller burden of guilt can be life-changing. Similarly making choices like switching your electricity and heating and getting an electric car (or even better, taking the train, bus, tram, your feet or a bus) can help you get into a more positive mindset as you feel like you are ‘doing your part’. Check if you have any savings or pensions invested in fossil fuels and switch them over. Even buying from zero waste shops can help shift your mood, even if it’s too small to shift the whole economy.

Once you’ve got all these little changes out of the way, it’s time to think systemic. Most places will have a local activist group you can join, which usually only involves a commitment to weekly meetings - can you attend XR, A22, Greenpeace or Friends of The Earth gatherings in your neighbourhood? These will usually allow you to start attending protests and keying into wider campaign networks.

Something else you can do is bring the subject up with people in your life, to contribute to a wider cultural shift where climate conversations are normalised, and you can agitate for changes at your job or university/school that will bring the institution’s emissions down.

Try to consume a more balanced media diet, seeking out what is going right in the world as well as what is going wrong. Sites like Positive News and the Good News Network are helpful for this. Supernova is a purely positive social media app if you’re looking for a more uplifting scrolling experience.

But much more important is to get outside and to make real-life community. If there’s a conservation or gardening volunteer group in your area I’d highly recommend getting involved with it - nothing has helped me as much as getting my hands in the dirt, doing meaningful work to grow food to feed my neighbours. A lot of our climate anxiety stems from fear that we won’t be able to feed ourselves or that natural beauty will vanish, so connecting with crops or landscapes is a great way to soothe some of that. Building relationships with neighbours or affinity groups (such as LGBT, POC or disabled organisations) can help you feel part of a more resilient network of people who can help each other out in a crisis. Plus if you get to plant trees regularly I guarantee that will help you feel like you’re contributing.

Solarpunk content is great for improving your outlook too - whether it’s optimistic sci-fi, utopian cityscapes or anarchist politics, it all uplifts you and reminds you of what’s possible. Check out people’s stories of what they’re doing to make the world a little better to remind yourself you’re not in it alone.

If you can afford to, a regular donation to groups working to reforest, re-wet peatland, re-seed mangroves or combat soil erosion is a pretty tangible way to fight the climate crisis. Be sure to do all the obvious stuff like voting and engaging with other political pathways too.

A fun weekend’s activity could be seedbombing with friends or building a bee house - there’s lots you can do that’s crafty or creative that also helps your local environment, even if it’s just growing food or pollinator friendly plants on your windowsill or letting your lawn rewild itself. Taking an attitude of grateful, affectionate kinship with all the plants and animals around you will aid in building a sense of connection with the ecosystem and reminding you that you’re part of a grand, resilient web of life.

Put together the emergency kit I detail in an earlier post, so you feel prepared for facing extreme weather and taking part in mutual aid. Teach yourself to forage or at the very least recognise the common plants in your area. This counteracts species blindness and makes you more considerate of the non-human.

You could even consider altering your career path, if you’re an adult, and re-training to work in the climate movement, though this will not be accessible for everyone. If you’re a younger person you could look into pursuing an educational path that will allow you to join the green sector.

If you can get some, therapy with an eco-informed professional can be hugely beneficial for channeling your very reasonable feelings of terror into meaningful action that benefits you and the planet, though admittedly there’s only so much individualised therapy can do for such a huge problem - perhaps there’s a support group you can go to?

And finally, make sure you take some time every day, preferably an hour if you can spare it, but certainly at least fifteen minutes, to do something you really love, that brings you genuine joy, and has nothing to do with the climate crisis. You can’t pour from an empty cup and you can’t put out fires if you’re burnt out. Rest, regeneration and self-care are prerequisites for sustainable movement building and you deserve to have moments of unalloyed happiness. You are categorically NOT in this alone, you are part of a huge, ever-growing moment full of people who are working towards the same goal even though most of you will never meet. And so while we need you now more than ever, there’s also enough of us that you can take a few minutes to feel better and it won’t cost us the fight. As an older activist said to me recently, even when we sleep our comrades across the world are waking up ready to face the day’s struggle.

Ultimately, a lot of these are just things that have worked for me, and they won’t all be accessible or appropriate to you. Some of them are more about changing your viewpoint than radically altering the status quo around the climate. But I know I fight better when I feel optimistic and well in myself, so these are my suggestions. I hope some of them help, and I want to commend your strength and bravery in reaching out for advice and connection, because that’s how we keep fighting, and that’s how we win.

The Horrors are real, but so are the Wonders. And one of those Wonders is you.

[finding-arcadia]

The Intuitive Analysis of my Blorbo 😇, Mr. Derek Hale

The reason I latched onto Derek like I did, is because as an Empath, the amazing way he was portrayed by Tyler Hoechlin, his backstory, and how he responded to stimulus around him, really pulled me into him. He made me feel what he was going through. There are some rare performances that can really connect with me, like they were a real tangible person, and his is one of them.

I don't know how much insight I can give into him that I, or other beautiful people in the Fandom, haven't already. But I will give as brief an overview as I can.

The fact that Derek is a werewolf, and born that way, already changes everything from the beginning. His lived experience is already different from the jump. Much like people from two completely different cultures will have different perspectives, manners, ways of speaking, etc. He's already leading with instinct/intuition and hasn't lost touch with that, while others tend to be really connected with it as a child and then become conditioned out of listening to that feeling in your gut or that intuitive hit because as a child that's seen as "silly" or not "real". But being born with that, and born of people who also possess this ability, he's going to have that part of himself nutured instead of minimized.

He's also the middle child, but the only boy, so he's got an interesting dynamic that way. He's likely seen as more "special" or more included than the typical middle child. But being the middle of two girls, he was still likely the scapegoat and teamed up on because of it. It's likely made him more careful and thoughtful with his words and actions. Also, he's probably very connected to his family, maybe more than most humans. Which also points to that animal instinct.

Being the middle child, I feel, might also make him more susceptible to suggestion, but also, oddly enough, he's kind of a good bullshit detector. Unfortunately, he tends to have a big blind spot for bullshit when his heart is involved. This boy is a big ol' marshmallow.

He's sustained so much trauma because he was/is such a beautiful soul who wanted to believe in the power of love. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and everybody saw that, and some people exploited that to their own ends. So much that Derek completely closed himself off when his own pure heart led to his family being killed.

When we first see Derek in Teen Wolf, his sister (the last family he had that was alive/not comatose) had just been killed. He's already completely shrouded himself internally and externally in that pain he still holds in his very soul, and built it up around him like a wall. He's put on his leather jacket and scowl as an armor to keep people out. Even as gorgeous as he is, he didn't look very approachable, so people usually gave him a wide berth. And it's this very armor he's created that actually makes it harder for him to connect with Scott and Stiles, initially.

While Stiles understands the grief personally, it takes him a while to see that in Derek because the man is so incredibly guarded.

But it's impossible to show the needed vulnerability to create the necessary camaraderie because, to Derek, vulnerability means weakness, and leads to death. Though it makes sense that the one person he was able to let the wall down with was Stiles. Despite their initial animosity, Stiles has proven his loyalty, his tenacity, and his understanding. Derek instinctively knows that he can trust Stiles, and he slowly begins to let him in.

A lot of what we see from Derek in the beginning is survival mode, trying to control a situation because he's feeling out of control, which creates more animosity. He becomes the Alpha because someone needs to be, and he's the only one who knows enough between him and Scott. Plus, he isn't going to give his family's spark to a newbie wolf.

Then he's building a pack because that's all he knows. He does everything he's only ever seen other people do. He's running purely on instinct and of course non-wolves are not going to understand that.

Anyway, to cut this short, once he's out of survival mode and he's had time to process what's happened, he becomes a mentor to Scott. That soft marshmallow boy starts to peek out. Then we see him emerge even more once he's more settled, like when dealing with his son, Eli.

All in all, Derek is a major soft wolf who was hardened by his trauma, but he was able to slowly connect with people again. He was able to trust and create a pack and a community with the people in Beacon Hills, and he was able to step more fully into who he truly was, which was proven most profoundly when he had his rebirth and evolved to complete the full wolf shift.

Derek Hale was one of the most fascinating, complex, and engaging characters on Teen Wolf for me. He will always be my Blorbo. ❤️

[anteroom-of-death]

Teacher's Pet part 10

Synopsis: Game is preserved by game. And what games can one play? What about rewards? Our two lovers share some special moments.

A/n: Hey bitches, guess who's back from mental health crisis! Meeee. I love you all and sorry for the inconvenience and lateness!!! Slammed this one out. Quickly. Before the madness leaves me. Yall the best. Thanks

Oh, that man, you thought as you trolled the shops. Furiously as you slid the hangers across. The sound of metal slightly shrieking put you on edge. If you had been not just a post-marriage thing, but the next in a long line of so-called ‘assistants’ or ‘companions’, then you’d be the best damn one he’d ever have.

He wanted to play like he was human, play house with you. Something he never did before, he told you. There was a comfort and a ring of truth in those words. A lie? You felt yourself question. Or was he actually just telling the truth?

Maybe alien men weren’t total pigs like human men…you reasoned with yourself.

So many thoughts were swimming in your mind.

You angrily scooped up a few dresses and made your way to the changing room.

You chose a black number, slightly strappy, mid-length and a lower square neckline. You brought a little cardigan and it would match perfectly. The way the skirt flared gently but still held some grip to your thighs was excellent at providing some semblance of elegance. It hit at your knee, classy.

Now onto shoes…

You got a message from your Doctor, you headed to a café.

It was all very nice. Trite, but felt authentic. His long fingers carding through your hair felt lovely. It felt like a return to what you had back in Bristol. Your mind was calm, placid and you felt a bit better about the whole damn thing.

Like your walls were removed.

Sooner or later, you had to get ready and then the ebb of dark thoughts came back in tiny waves. You got frustrated and just started patting on a thick layer of glitter, and maybe a tad bit too much highlighter cream on.

You caught your reflection in the mirror. You looked manic. Beautiful, but oh-so-fucking-crazy. You toned down things just a tad.

Just a tad, you still wanted to be breathtaking…

You went back and leaned on the bed and caught your breath. You did your breathing exercises and collected yourself and gave one final check in the reflection of the metal of the barrack wall.

Once joining him, the nerves subsided. You mentally wondered if he had some pheromones or something like that. It felt good, though, safe.

The evening began and you went out with nary a hitch.

He took you to see some contrived show about the nature of social media and the ephemeral nature of family. (And murder!) You tried to enjoy it, you really did, but in the dark of the theatre, his face pale enough to reflect the stage light and the fact you could feel an electric current running through the two of you as you leaned in or lightly touched, your mind went slightly south.

The man was too attractive for your own good. And your lack of attention span was driving you to look at his face most of the time.

Thankfully, the play ended.

Performers came out to bow, lights went up and you were ushered out.

He even treated you to a bit of a romantic dinner. Although, he did grumble about there not being a children’s menu.

Almost very human.

You let your entire guard down.

It was impossible to not.

This entire day was disarming. More disarming than yesterday!

Your conflicted feelings fell away more and more. Outside of little trips to London for this whole UNIT thing, you could go back to Bristol. Go back to being (y/n) and Professor Smith. Build something real. Build something tangible.

You loaded yourselves into a cab back to the UNIT head quarters. His hands were also distractions. They felt so cruelly good inside or on you. They were also emotive and caring. Creatures in their own rights.

Suddenly, you felt very brave and extra insane.

You wanted them inside you in this very cab. And damn it! You were going to get your way!

You grabbed one of his hands and placed it on your right thigh, and leaned in to his ear, your other hand lightly toying with his hair.

“Fuck me with your fingers. Here, now.” You whispered, your voice going slightly husky.

He looked at you, a severe look passed and faded before he let out a slight laugh. Soft, but with a hint of something behind it.

“Now, my fawn?” Slightly shocked, but a Cheshire grin came out.

“Right now.” You ordered gently, the whisper came out a more a huff of air than a spoken set of words.

“One moment.” He said, reaching into the breast pocket of his jacket. He grabbed something and pressed a button on it. It let a little noise.

“What is that?”

“Screwdriver, it’ll give us privacy. More or less.”

You nodded, a slightly slack-jawed, “Ah.” Escaped your mouth. “Some screwdriver.”

“You don’t even understand the half of it.” He said, as he leaned in to kiss your jaw and placed on hand at the hollow of your throat.

When he finally worked his way to your pussy, he slid with a finger your panties over.

“Already so soaked? Good girl…” He cheesed.

It made your head roll back. In your moment of ballsy control, he somehow made himself the one in charge. A mental flip over…

And you didn’t particularly mind.

Damn him.

You felt that deft long middle finger find your clit. His index and ring finger found themselves in the middle of your folds. You rolled your hips over and your legs parted a little bit more against the fabric of your dress. The circular motions of the finger on your clit driving you a little bit crazy…

You braced yourself against the seat of the cab.

He scooped his fingers down deep into you, pressing deep onto the walls. He kissed you and bit gently at your chin.

You moaned into the top of his mouth.

His long hands had the benefit of him being able to continue his motions on your clit and he stroked the lowest part of your pussy with his pinky finger.

The other three worked you senseless.

“You’re so filthy.” He praised you. The ‘r’ in ‘you’re’ drilled inwards.

Your stomach fluttered and flipped around.

You let out a grunting heave. Your hands firmly around his body and gripping the back of the seat. He worked his way against your walls more. Penetrating deeper, still.

Unfortunately for you, the big stupid tower that UNIT had was approaching in the foreground.

He grazed your chest with his teeth and pulled out of you. He took out the screwdriver and it made that noise again.

He paid the driver and pulled you out.

“Now, you be good and quiet through the hallways and I’ll give you what you want.” He ordered you.

You nearly flailed out.

There were still staff and soldiers milling about, as you went towards the lift, some even approached him with questions.

You were still wet and dreadfully turned-on! And twitchy. It seemed painfully unfair, he wound you up just enough to make you literally insane!

You needed him to fuck you.

You could literally feel the absence of his fingers inside you. Like a gaping wound.

Cruel.

The seconds dragged on for what seemed like years. These underlings of his really could drag themselves on! It was wholly unfair. The several Cocktails with St Germaine and Vodka and the level of lust hazing your vision and your orders to be quiet. You wanted to beg him to finish fucking you.

Soon enough you were in the stupid barracks.

“Strip.” He ordered plainly, unbuckling his pants and pulling down his pants and his underwear. His cock already standing at full attention.

You shimmied out of your dress and underwear.

“Kneel.”

You kneeled.

“You’ll get my hands in you if you do good here. I know you will.” His tone was somewhere between an order and a negotiable thoughtfulness. With a tad bit of praise wrapped in.

You really needed him to get you off. It was up there in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. ‘Get the Doctor’s fingers inside of you.’

So you obeyed.

You scooted forward and wrapped your hands around his ass and opened your mouth. You cracked your neck and inhaled. You pressed your tongue down on over your lower teeth and wrapped your upper lip over your top teeth. You slicked your tongue out just a bit more as you worked your way down his shaft.

He stabilized himself in your hair and the base of your neck, guiding you down deeper. He was fully inside your mouth. Gently, but still, he helped you go up and down as you continued to go down on him. A symbiotic, well-oiled machine. He guided you down and you licked and applied pressure.

All while you were still aching. All the need for him intensifying as you just kept clenching your thighs together. As if that’d stop the sensation of want…

This little trade-off was driving you mad!

You licked his entire shaft, swirling your tongue as you both continued the motions. Edging him with the hot breath coming out onto his tip, you clasped a tighter grip on his ass. You slipped down and went to purse your lips around the base…

He pulled himself out of your mouth.

“I’m going to finger you, as you want. Then…’ He said, pulling you up and shoving you onto the bed, flourishing his fingers…”I want to cum inside your mouth later.”

He pushed apart your legs and gave a deep lick to your cunt. Hard, quick, and lingering around.

He was insane! This was the most aggressive he’d ever been with you sexually. He braced himself on the bed frame and peered deep into your eyes as he maneuvered his other arm, and hand, down inside of you. You let out a giant tremble as he lay over you, dragging out the heavy petting and large sweeps inside you.

You gulped.

He somehow managed to get a few fingers inside you, probably because you were so soaked, and you were so nervous and eager to please. Or he was rather good with his fingers.

He played guitar.

Maybe that was why…

Your mind wandered gently away and you wanted to ask him to play for you…

You were so close. The waiting in the halls and him making you service him, really was a dangerous cocktail. A torture device, well fit for whatever this paramilitary organization had in their arsenals…

And here he was, fingers engulfed in your wet heat.

Suddenly you felt a shattering static, and the intoxicating waves of an orgasm and alcohol teamed up against you. You swore you could feel your vision somewhat fading around the edges. You felt rapidly breathless and were slow-blinking away from your orgasm waving through you.

The old man pulled his way up and gently pulled you down. You met halfway between the two.

“Open wide, sweetheart.” He cooed as he gripped his cock, jerking it. “Get that sharp tongue out. Don’t be shy, fawn.” It came out a velvet-wrapped order.

And yet again, you obeyed his orders to the mark!

Warm and salty, he came onto your tongue and tapped himself dry on your tongue.

You never liked the taste of cum, but you swallowed it, you figured that alien cum wasn’t as bad as human cum.

You tried to not gag…

He saw you balking at the taste and pet your hair.

“So good for me…you’re perfect, aren’t you?”

You nodded your head in affirmation.

He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

After a moment or two in just a lock up, you decided to shower. He joined you, simple, clean fun. Oddly sexless.

The morning came and you woke without a startle for the first time in what felt like your entire life. His one arm was wrapped around you, the feeling of his odd, two-hearted beating thrumming along. Like a white noise machine. His chest was pressed in earnest against your back.

It was the first time you’ve slept with a man, like truly, in the most simple description in years. It felt wonderful.

You didn’t know what time it was, your phone was still in your purse and the room lacked a clock, as far as you could tell. It was also windowless.

You managed to wriggle your way out to go to the bathroom and checked. It was half-eleven. He began to stir.

“Hey, go back to sleep.” You walked over and swooped a bit of his hair to the side. “I’ll go for a quick walk, I’ll be soon.” He rolled over and nodded.

You went out to check your phone, go outside and have a smoke, and prowl about. The hallways were milling with people and soldiers, busy.

You exited and lit up, Petronella was approaching the entrance.

“Hey, I know the perfect place for a brunch.” She exclaimed, clearly happy about the chance encounter.

You quickly dropped your cigarette and exhaled away from her face, remembering her asthma.

After a quick exchange you made your way back up to the barrack. He was fiddling around with some device. You’d like to think he changed his focus the minute he noticed that you entered, but it was a few seconds and he kept running his fingers and a real screwdriver on some screws as he went to look at you.

“So I was thinking that you and I could go to brunch.” You launched the idea. “Could be fun. Way better than a trip to Starbucks.” You added on.

“I could eat.” He announced.

The process to get you both out the door was a bit tough. As you kept find yourselves simply unable to keep your hands to yourselves. He was incorrigible!

But you did it anyway.

It was nice, Petronella came in clutch for you. It wasn’t a place catering to the yummy mummy crowd, nor the drunk hipster crowd. Very cozy. The seats were lush and you got a cozy, semi-cramped corner booth. All coiled up together…

You downed your first Bellini and your dishes were coming out.

You kept yourself from blurting out something.

The second Bellini pried it out.

“So tell me about these past companions…” You finally dropped as you sopped up a bit of oil with a piece of bread, you didn’t need to be completely sloshed yet.

He let out of derisive snort.

“I ran away with my granddaughter from my home planet. She encouraged me to pick up traveling companions when she married an Earthling. It’s been a cycle ever since. Although. I did give up after the last one. Especially after all my memories of her returned…no more companions. No more travel. Rehabilitate my ex-partner from my school days until she’s sane and no longer wants to take over the cosmos and kill off anyone. Catch and release. Teach on Earth until the planet meets it’s fire-y end.” He explained it all so nonchalantly. Boiled down. Reductive.

You nodded along and took a sip of his coffee.

“Never expected you, but, you’re my jealous little secret.” A dark, yet warm grim blazed across his face.

“And….how many….have you slept with?” You circled your pinky around the top of his glass.

“A few, rarely. I’m rather…adverse to sexuality usually. Sometimes it’s the right body and right time. Last one was this woman named Clara, we rubbed off on each other so poorly. She became too like me and I her, she died and I lost my mind, finally in the position I’ve left so many in. Four point five billion years inside of a hell of my creation to try to save her. In the end, my memory was wiped. It was brought back thanks to the ex-partner. You should meet her. One day. Missy is…Missy.” It seemed like his honesty had some subversion but still rang true.

“It’s a huge catalyst for why I’m retired from my endeavors. I’ll help UNIT out, but I need to find some peace. I’m an old man. I deserve a bit of rest.”

“Four point five billion years old.” You nodded, eyes bugged out of your head. “How’d that even work?”

“Oh, my ship is a time machine. She’s the big thing that’s covered in cloth in my office near my windows. She’s a Type-40 TARDIS. But because Clara rejected her resurrection, so to speak, the years snapped back. I’m only two thousand, as I said the other night!”

And here you were feeling slightly insane over thinking him in his sixties previously in the last week…

You scooped your hair put of your own face.

“Can’t fault you for wanting a break. I’m exhausted and I’m virtually just starting out in life. Can’t imagine living that long…” You gave a long hard stare into the distance…

You definitely couldn’t fault him there, having lovers. Or being too jealous. He was so...old…there was no way around it.

You especially couldn’t be worked up over his body count. You probably matched each other in some ways.

That was a lot of unpacking and decentering you had to do.

Your learning was never really done.

After all, you stop learning, you stop living…

“Any more inquiries?” He seemed to be jokingly prodding.

“Just don’t take me…off planet or back in time. Especially back in time.” You pointed to your face as if it were the obvious reason why that wouldn’t work.

“I never intend to.” He promised.

“Good.”

You finished up and made you way out, you took a walk around a park for a while, arms joined together.

It was nice. Like something in your life had finally clicked into place. Safety, potentially love, awareness…all that trite shit.

You couldn’t shake some feelings nor the sensation in your brain that something may be up.

But that was for future (y/n) to deal with. Today was just about relaxing with your man. Being normal. Finally getting something normal.

Maybe you both were being rewarded here.

[novelconcepts]

One of the things I love so much about Yellowjackets and its use of sex scenes—and one of the reasons I balk at puritan culture claiming sex scenes have no place in media—is how much character gets across in these moments. The scenes are rarely, if ever, just about the sex.

It’s Van and Tai in the woods, this moment of pure intimacy, of letting someone see you when you’re at your most broken and realizing you can still be beautiful and present and whole. It’s recognizing love transcends what you look like, and that there is safety in trusting someone to really look under the mask.

It’s Jackie trying to prove something to herself and to Shauna, that she can be an adult, that she can catch up to this perceived finish line Shauna already crossed, and it’s Travis being so distant that he barely even knows where he is, that this physical act that feels like everything to Jackie is nothing to him. It’s a microcosm of that young adult fear of being left behind, of not fitting into the right tropes.

It’s Shauna and Adam in this primal, teenage courtship that is so about immaturity and spontaneity, where it’s entirely about her getting to reclaim the childhood she lost, even at her own detriment. And it’s Jeff and Shauna, where it’s entirely about trying to reclaim something damaged beyond repair, about the desperate need to hang onto something that maybe wasn’t ever yours to begin with.

It’s Natalie and Travis with this Lottie imagery hovering between them, an encapsulation of Nat trying to show him that reality is tangible, and Lottie being a symbol of hope and spirituality, with Travis being caught between. It’s building on this traumatic space they’re living in through the lens of distraction and escapism, and whether those things can be enough when real life is so deadly.

This show is so good about deploying these very human moments through physicality, and pushing the character arcs forward. Sex can genuinely be such a beautiful and painful way to explore character, and it’s such a fundamental feature of this story which is rooted in hunger and desire and collaboration. It’s so interesting to me.

[booksandabeer]

Okay, so... Maestro

I know it’s the cool thing right now to shit on Bradley Cooper and his increasingly desperate attempts to win that damn Oscar, and at this point it feels a bit like kicking someone when they’re already down, but oh boy, he makes it so easy. Still, let me preface what I’m about to say by assuring everyone who might be inclined to think that this is just me piling on, that I truly, sincerely wanted to like this movie. It’s about Leonard Bernstein!!! Of course I wanted to like it!  

With that out of the way…if you already thought Bradley Cooper was a bit much in A Star Is Born, wait until you’ve seen him act at you for two hours in this never-truer-to-its-name vanity project in which producer Bradley Cooper produces director Bradley Cooper who directs leading man Bradley Cooper as he recites lines written by, you guessed it, screenwriter Bradley Cooper.

First of all, the movie looks gorgeous. It sounds wonderful. Everybody in the so-called “below the line” departments brought their absolute A-game to this. It’s a Vogue coffee table book come to life. And that is precisely where the problem lies: This is supposed to be a movie, but what it actually is is the epitome of style over substance. It is completely devoid of any meaningful insights into the man or the time or the culture it depicts. It’s not a movie about Leonard Bernstein, the artist. Which isn’t a problem per se—different approaches to biopics are perfectly valid. The real problem is that it’s not a movie about Leonard Bernstein, the man, either. It’s Bradley Cooper spending almost 100 million dollars cosplaying as The Great Artist—beloved by intellectuals and the common folk alike—that he so desperately wishes to be himself.

Cooper's performance is A LOT. From the many affectations to the sweaty mania that is constantly turned up to 11 to the extremely nasal intonation (that seems to come and go) to, yes, the stupid and entirely unnecessary prosthetic nose—he does The Most in every single scene. Now, you might say I’m biased by my recent love for Fellow Travelers, but still, what Matt Bomer—in a small part as Bernstein’s lover and collaborator David Oppenheim—does in one scene that shows him smiling through the pain of being casually cast aside by his lover, moved me more than (almost) anything Cooper does in the entire movie. They also share a moment later that is almost unbearable to watch because of the pain seeping out of these two men who are, due to a mix of self-denial and societal oppression, not allowed to (or allowing themselves to) live life as their true selves. Finally! Some real human emotion! That is the movie I want to see. And it is so telling that this moment of actual tangible humanity happens when Cooper finally calms down for five fucking seconds.

All that isn’t to say that there aren’t any scenes here that have true charm and flair; at times the movie even comes close to moments of true beauty and grace that could be poignant, even devastating in the best of ways—were they not ruined by some “eccentric” directorial choice, baffling camera placements, shots that either linger on forever or are abruptly cut short. I was practically waiting for him to turn to the camera and ask “see what I did there?” Yes, we see it. We see it in the fantastical dance sequences, the 40s noir inspired shots, the shift from black and white to color halfway through the movie, the classic 4:3 aspect ratio, and the many many many allusions that do not serve this story and these characters at all but make it very clear to the audience that Cooper has seen a lot of movies. He’s a student of Cinemah, didn't you know? Anyway, all of these things aren’t bad ideas in and of themselves, but he does not know how to edit himself (or his movie) and so it’s just all too much, all the time, and it goes on for way too long.  

Let’s talk briefly about the Felicia of it all. Briefly, because for all the noise that Cooper has made about this being a movie that is just as much about Bernstein’s wife and their love story as it is about the man himself, I could not tell you who this woman was any more than I could before I sat down to watch two hours of Carey Mulligan reacting to Bernstein’s genius. Mulligan tries her best but she’s really only allowed to play two modes: swooning with adoration or vibrating with repressed anger. That’s it. I have no idea who Felicia Montealegre was beyond her husband’s wife. What did she want her life and her career to be? Was she truly passionate about acting or was it just a fun hobby to pass the time? And what did she hope to get out of this marriage, which—the movie makes it very clear—she entered into with the full awareness that there were parts of her husband’s life and heart that would remain forever inaccessible to her? Who knows. I certainly don’t.

Despite all claims to the contrary, this movie, and therefore I must assume the man who made it, is deeply uninterested in actually exploring this woman’s inner life. There’s no small amount of sad irony to be found in the parallel of Felicia serving as a shield of respectability for Bernstein (not only as that, because I do not doubt that they loved each other, but it was certainly one of the reasons for why he married her) and Cooper using his supposed interest in her (and to a lesser extent his lead actress) all these years later as a kind of preemptive measure to ward off criticism that he’s only interested in the Male Genius.  

Finally. What’s actually worse than all of the above is that somehow Bradley Cooper managed to do the impossible: He made a movie about Leonard Bernstein that is both utterly exhausting and—the true cardinal sin—terribly boring.  

[daenystheedreamer]

what are your thoughts on the seven? Like, what are we to make of them as deities?

just reread the series, and on first pass (tho i plan to go back searching for this) it seems like the seven come off as... less Tangible than the Old Gods/R'hllor. like melisandre births shadow assassins. bloodraven Exists. clearly there's something to these gods. maybe not what their worshipper's think, but like. a Power, for sure.

By contrast, the seven seem to exist solely in the minds of those who believe in them. Trials by combat seem to be 50/50. Tyrion win's Lysa's but loses Cersei's. the faith of the seven are notoriously corrupt, and after the sparrow's takeover, is going full-tilt crazy fundamentalist.

Yet these gods bring a great deal of comfort to the characters who believe in them. And I can't help but think about Septon Meribald, wandering the war-torn riverlands barefoot to give out oranges and flour and alms to those in need. That kind of religious-charity seems to be exclusive to the seven.

So given all this... idk, what's their deal? Are they "gods as a reflection of humanity"? "gods as a reflection of society"? I feel like "they were always 100% fake and anyone who ever prayed to them was praying to nothing" is a little too grimdark for grrm, but idk!

Sorry for the long ask jfjsjjd

i am not a good meta poster or essayist so my apologies for what will surely be a poor answer 😭 so introduction. grrm is lapsed catholic and the seven is like soo barely removed from catholicism. also rhllor/old gods doing things in text doesnt necessarily make them, the gods, real. the magic is certainly real but that doesnt mean the gods themselves are real. and so that goes into the whole Do the gods of planetos actually exist at all. so the faith isnt actually alone in having the Are the gods real? question

the faith is based on faith right, belief without necessarily having proof. it's pretty unique actually for that. the old gods have weirwoods and dreams, rhllor has shadowbinding, but the faith doesnt even have martyrdom/saints/incorruptibility/miracles/etc. its purely a social function; hierarchy, laws, morality and life-after-death existentialism.

i think this is what grrm is exploring, another brick in the wall of Society. like how is religion used as a hammer for hierarchy and how does it interact with power, with patriarchy, with classism. yes, the faith descends into fundamentalism but its also one of the only ways the peasant class can organise and attack the establishment. its social mobility in a way they cant otherwise access.

so i guess in all my rambling, i'd agree with the assessment that its 'gods as a reflection of society/humanity'. i dont think the fact that theyre 100% fake is bleak, really. i think all religions are fake irl but that doesnt take away from the beauty and love and joy they can bring to people. for every cruel septa/on, there's a meribald who brings peace and forgiveness.

idk again i am not a good meta poster i cant pull out quotes for shit 😭 but i remember the moments of jaime earnestly praying. and you look at melisandre who uses her faith in rhllor as a desperate attempt to justify her own sense of self, her suffering, her actions. its similar in a way to the faith. melisandre's total belief in rhllor, no matter how delusional, is just as important as if rhllor himself actually existed.

so to summarise, the meaning we gain from metaphysical concepts can be just as important as the perceived power of the metaphysical concept itself. idk im sure im making a mess of the philosphical idealism vs materialism plus i am making no sense and making no actual points but i hope this communicates my personal interpretation of the faith of the seven!

[altraviolet]

text comparisons because I think they're fun to do

I was watching lexi aka newlynova's latest video, this one here:

wherein she reads aloud text from two books, Powerless and Notes On An Execution, and says she's not really able to describe why the text reads badly in one and not the other, respectively. I thought it would be fun to write out the text examples and talk about what works and doesn't work. Full disclaimer: I haven't read either of these books and am going 100% on what Lexi has provided.

From what I can tell, both passages are a character describing another character- either directly to the reader, or imagining what she was like (because she's dead).

Lexi's own words on why she thinks the text of Powerless doesn't work:

...a lot of the writing is overly descriptive but not in a way that felt especially profound or well-written. It's kind of like, let's say the same thing, but again, and with words that start with the same letters and then that sentence will definitely be a banger but repeat it ad infinitem for the entire duration of the book and it's always very noticeable to me every single time. There's one passage towards the end that – it's not a spoiler – but I do think that it demonstrates pretty accurately how the writing style of the entire book was.

The text from Powerless, starting around 19:06 in the video:

She's scared. Scared of whatever it is between us. She always has been. That's why she chose to be my enemy, my rival, rather than let herself feel – which is something I'm not accustomed to myself. It's like a tangible tether between us, this consuming connection. I will her to meet my eyes, and when they do- Sparks. Electricity. Everything beautiful, everything bold, everything breathtaking – that is what I feel in her gaze. That, and terrified. Terrified of what she is doing to me. She is a vision, a nightmare, a dream. A grim reaper clad in black, come to steal my soul and my heart. I've never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for me. She is a devil. She is a deity. She is man's downfall in human form. She is my downfall.

Lexi describes this as “overt and over the top,” which is true. You can see what she means by the use of repetition. The character being described here is obviously very powerful, but the text feels tiring to read. I am not awed by this power.

Let's contrast to Notes On An Execution. Lexi describes the writing as fantastic and gives us context: the detective is thinking of one of the killer's victims. From 23:18 in the video:

As Saffy leaned against the backroom wall, Izzy's hair in her lap, she was transported into a hallucination that had stalked her for years now, a parallel universe that felt sickening, nearly fatal in its limitlessness. A highway, dusk. A flicker of long black ponytail. Izzy had died at sixteen, but she was older here: nineteen, maybe twenty. Windows open, air whipping hard, an old bluegrass song twanging from the radio. There would have been a boy, sitting in the passenger's seat – Izzy would not have loved him, not here, maybe not ever, but this wouldn't have mattered, in the hot flush of youth, his calloused fingers creeping up her thigh, the horizon bleeding behind the Adirondack peaks. In this almost-world – the substitute reality that lingered like a daydream – Izzy was never a pile of bones on the table. She was bright and golden, a blazing instant of mundane and perfect glory.

Even though Izzy isn't described as a devil, a deity, man's downfall in human form... doesn't she feel much more real? The Execution passage doesn't have short, quippy sentences, but it feels less exhausting to read.

I think there are two reasons for the variance in quality: sentence length and detail/description/specificity.

Sentence length

Sentence length variation is very, very important to the flow of a story. Consecutive sentences of similar length melt together. They drone on and on. They become monotonous. It's important to use a mix of short, medium, and long sentences together for good flow (unless you are going for some kind of effect, in which case, you need to be very deliberate about what you're doing).

Let's look at the number of words in each sentence in both excerpts. The first paragraph of Powerless has 4 sentences. The first sentence has 2 words, the next has 7, the next has 4, and the last has 23. So I'm going to represent that paragraph as 2, 7, 4, 23. Make sense? Here we go.

Powerless:

2, 7, 4, 23 10, 11 1, 1 14 3, 8, 8 14 13 4, 4 7 4

total words: 138

Execution:

36 3, 6, 13, 13 47 22, 13

total words: 153

So for a similar number of words, we have vastly different approaches to word count per sentence. Powerless's first paragraph actually has a really good distribution. Going from short -> long or long -> short sentences keeps things flowing. (Which should you use? You choose the approach based on what you're trying to highlight.) But following that, you can see how Powerless's consecutive sentences have the same number of words. 14, 13. 4, 4, 7, 4. This is what contributes to the "start-stop," "takes longer to read" feeling of that excerpt.

In contrast, Execution has very different word counts for consecutive sentences, with one exception. This helps its sentences flow much more easily through the mind. (There's a lot I could say about that first sentence using passive voice and a filter word and being 36 words long and still working nicely, but we'll stay focused!) We go from 36 words to 3. From 13 to 47. Down and up and down and up. Flow!

Detail/description/specificity

Details/descriptions and their specificity help ground the reader in your story. Making grand, sweeping statements without backing them up with details turns them into flat and meaningless statements. Details/description/specificity can be written in many ways. Word choice and sensory information are the first that come to my mind.

For word choice we can look at the verbs and adjectives that are used. For sensory information, we look for how the five senses are engaged within the text. Specificity is found in these details.

Verbs

[hopefully I didn't miss or misattribute any, I did my best]

Here are the verbs in the Powerless excerpt (I'm putting the contractions as "is"):

is, is, has been, is, feel, accustomed to, is, am, is, will, do, is, feel, is, is, come, seen, is, is, is, is

Here are the verbs in the Execution excerpt:

leaned, was transported, stalked, felt, had died, was, whipping, twanging, would have been, sitting, would not have loved, wouldn't have mattered, creeping, bleeding, lingered, was, was

I think it's pretty easy to see the difference in word choice here. Most of the Powerless verbs are from a single verb: to be. Almost all of the Execution verbs are unique. Many of the verb choices for Execution are very strong: whipping, twanging, creeping, bleeding. These all have visceral feels to them. So much more detailed and alive than is is is is is is.

Adjectives

Powerless:

[I'm 99% sure the things that look like adjectives in this excerpt, like the “black” in “clad in black,” are acting like nouns, which is why they're not in the list. Correct me if I'm wrong]

scared, scared, tangible, consuming, beautiful, bold, breathtaking, terrified, terrified, beautiful, bold, wrong

Execution:

parallel, sickening, fatal, long, black, older, old, bluegrass, passenger's, hot, calloused, substitute, bright, golden, blazing, mundane, perfect

Again we see repeated adjectives in the first excerpt and unique adjectives in the second. The adjective "beautiful" doesn't tell you as much about an object as "bright" or "calloused" does. This is what I mean by specificity: the more specific your word choices are, the more real the text feels, and the more the reader can ground themself in it.

It doesn't matter how many beautifuls you throw at a reader. They will never be as impactful as a single golden.

Sensory details

Powerless is severely lacking in sensory details. I guess we have these two:

"tangible tether" is the author telling you that something feels like it can be touched

"A grim reaper clad in black" is technically something you can see.

Execution is drenched in sensory details, mostly in its strong verbs. These are the ones that stood out to me most:

"Windows open, air whipping hard" somatic detail, you know the characters are in a car going fast, they can feel the wind

"old bluegrass song twanging from the radio" audial detail, "twanging" is a great verb here

"the hot flush of youth" somatic detail, abstract but very understandable

"his calloused fingers creeping up her thigh" somatic detail, the word choice makes this feel very creepy to me

"the horizon bleeding behind the Adirondack peaks" visual detail, the use of "bleeding" makes it quite striking

The text engages multiple senses with strong verbs, giving specific details to the reader, and allowing them to sink into the world.

So! There's my mini thesis on why the text of Execution is so much better than Powerless.

Let's be clear: there's a time and a place for sweeping, non-detailed, non-sensory-engaging, weak-verb-using prose, but... I'm not sure what that time and place are. Maybe... something really character-driven, and the character is meek as hell? In my opinion, you can make any non-descriptive batch of statements better with specificity and strong word choice.

What would I advise to improve the writing of Powerless?

-vary the sentence length. you can test your flow by either reading aloud or counting out the words, as above

-use strong verbs. avoid adverbs. you are allowed to use them, but a strong verb is always better

-insert grounded, sensory details. engage the senses! all of them!

-replace sweeping statements with details. for example, don't tell me the character is beautiful, give me examples of how she's beautiful (describe either her body or her convictions or her weapons, whatever it is that the POV character finds beautiful). don't tell me a character is a nightmare/devil/etc, give me examples of how she's powerful/evil/scary.

Homework assignment:

I've never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for me.

rewrite the above sentence. give me examples of the beautiful, the bold, and the wrong. make me feel each one. make them clash in a way that makes the reader feel as uncomfortable as the POV character feels.

--

Alright, I've been typing this up for quite a while. Let's call it here. Hope you enjoyed my write up! Feel free to send questions about this to my ask box. Hopefully I haven't made any mistakes identifying parts of speech or counting words.

Also, check out Lexi's video!

⚠️ quick side note: the portion of Lexi's video called "tragedy strikes" is Lexi explaining how a depressive state has affected her ability to read. she explains it with an incredible empathy for herself, saying that it too shall pass, and it was honestly pretty amazing to listen to because I've never heard anyone articulate depression in such a way. highly recommend! ❤️

[outofangband]

(Reposting this mini post because I inevitably had more to say also I’m still sick so like, apologies if this is even more rambling than usual)

Previous post on this

“Morwen (Brodda) had seen once when he rode to her house on a foray; but a great dread of her had seized him. He thought that he had looked into the fell eyes of (an elf) and was filled with a great fear lest some evil should overtake him. And he did not ransack her house nor discover Túrin else the life of the true heir would have been short.”

Just a fun linguistics note! Fell in this instance is an archaic word, meaning, fierce, cruel or terrible, and actually is where the word felon comes from

I know I already rambled about this forever here and in a number of posts in my word ran among them tag but I just literally cannot ever stop thinking about the language used in this scene

I will never not be obsessed with this passage. It’s such a visceral description of fear and it is entirely distorted. It’s such a jarring jump to the perspective of a minor villain figure, something that we don’t usually see in Tolkien, not like this

The language!! It’s so strong!

“A great dread of her had seized him”

“Filled with a mortal fear, Lest some evil overtake him”

Morwen looks at him and he is afraid for what? His life? His soul? He thinks Morwen, or what she can do*, is evil! It’s hard to explain but the use of the word here feels similarly jarring to the use of the word horror being used about this same character in BoLT, albeit for opposite reasons

What does he fear in that moment?

And just in that line! Lest some evil overtake him! Brodda clearly believes that the evil is the other! Not himself, despite his literally working for Morgoth! It’s just a really interesting line with such a plethora of implications.

It shows very clearly what he considers evil or at least what he doesn’t. It’s not what he’s doing to Aerin, it’s not what’s happening to the other Hadorians, it’s not the murder of a nine year old that the passage says would have happened if he had entered the house.

The evil, to him, is Morwen.

Another thing  I think is interesting because when humans in Tolkien are compared to the elves it’s typically an honor! It’s because they’re seen as particularly beautiful or elegant or observant/sharp, etc but here it’s like…dehumanizing? Othering? It’s beyond a negative thing, it’s a call to violence that Morwen avoids then only because Brodda *is* so afraid of her. It’s not a fear there’s any safety in though. Quite the opposite.

I went into the legacy of this scene in the notes of my post on food control in post Nírnaeth Hithlum and am almost done with a longer post about this! But it’s so disturbing. Obviously what is most horrible about Brodda is what he does to Aerin - and she is often the most immediate victim of his hatred of Morwen, the most obvious example of this being how he beats her for her aid to Morwen (what I went into the implications of in the previously mentioned post). I do not want to ever mitigate this. But there are branches of misogyny overlap and there is something disturbing about his hatred of Morwen in itself as well.

Does this make sense? Again I have another post about this so I don’t want to go too much into this but I hope this makes sense.

*which of course she cannot actually do! I do love to make fun of Brodda endlessly for this scene but as I said in my main post about it, there’s absolutely nothing funny about it for Morwen. It’s terrifying and imbued with the threat of violence; not abstract or superstition based but real, tangible violence that Morwen, especially as a survivor of the Bragollach, has likely seen firsthand

Other note: I’ve always imagined that Morwen is standing in the threshold of her house and stepped out if not to confront him than to put herself between him and Túrin. I suppose it’s possible she was already outside or something, obviously there’s no way to know. But I personally have always imagined that she steps outside when she realized someone was approaching. I think the courage there is extremely profound especially as she had no way of knowing that Brodda would flee like that.

Final notes: someday I will post my writing of this scene from Brodda’s perspective because it’s one of my favorite pieces I’ve done lately.

[claudemblems]

A Reminder of Home | Scaramouche

Summary: After dozing off on your lap, Scaramouche is met with a song that reminds him of home.

Notes: Includes fem!reader. A little on the angsty side but ends in fluff. Wanderer is referred to as Scaramouche for most of the story until you specifically call him by the name Kazuto (the name I plan to give him).

♩ Land of thunder, land of rain,

The sky is alight with the archon's grace.

In great darkness, I will not be dismayed,

For the light of my heart shall guide my way ♩

What's that sound? Is it a...lullaby?

Scaramouche blinked as he tried to make sense of his surroundings, but his eyes only found a pitch black void. Was he conscious? Was this some sort of self-aware dream? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that despite the absence of light and human presence, he wasn't afraid. If anything, he almost felt at peace.

♩ Through the waters, across the skies,

Thunder peals through the silent night.

The heavenly hosts cast their brilliant shine,

Illuminating my heart and awestruck eyes ♩

Something about this song seemed so...familiar. Was it the tune? The lyrics? No, it was something else entirely. This song, this lullaby, it made him feel. 

His chest ached with a deep sense of longing, a yearning for something lost to time. Though he lacked any semblance of a heart, the spot in his chest where it would have been swelled. It was like a glass filled to the brim, threatening to overflow.

And he was about to break.

As the soothing voice continued to sing, Scaramouche felt his eyes begin to droop. Sleeping served no use to a puppet, but the atmosphere was calming and tranquil, a stark contrast to the world he'd traversed all these years. 

But as he closed his eyes to fully enjoy the song, he finally realized why this tune was so familiar.

It was an Inazuman lullaby once sung to him by the Raiden Shogun, his mother.

He thought he'd long forgotten his past where he was once her pride and joy, a beautiful creation crafted by her own hands in order to meet a grand destiny. She'd looked upon him with such tenderness in her eyes as a mother would their own flesh and blood. He wasn’t simply a puppet to her, rather, he was her child, her family, her missing piece that Makoto had taken with her when she left this world. He was Kunikuzushi: an extension of the electro archon herself.

Until he wasn't.

Forgetting the fond memories of his mother took many years to do. Despite his deep-rooted resentment, such precious things could not be so easily thrown away. In fact, her presence still often visited him in dreams, a grim reminder of the peaceful life he once lived. One where he felt love in its tangible form. But that was a different time. That Kunikuzushi was a naive little puppet too immersed in playing house, almost believing he was human himself. It took his mother’s sudden betrayal for him to snap out of his elaborate dream. It was only then that he realized that he wasn’t truly a son to the archon—he was a vessel made for her own use, and he’d failed every test she’d placed along his path. She cut off his puppet strings connecting him to her kind, caring hands, sending him plummeting down into a pit of darkness. 

It was his first betrayal, and it had left him with a wound so devastating that he feared it could never be healed.

Even so, she’d been the first one to show him true happiness. She’d kept him safe from the dangers of the world, showering him with all the love and care stored up in her broken heart.

How he wished he could feel that affection, just one more time.

“Kazuto? Kazuto, are you okay?”

A voice pulled him from the darkness as Kazuto blinked open his eyes, his vision blurry from…tears?

Your face was above him, hands cradling his head that laid in your lap. Oh, right. She’d wanted me to close my eyes and relax, but I started thinking about some bitter old memories.

Did he simply imagine that beautiful song, too? It seemed so real. So…comforting.

 “Were you singing?” 

“Yes,” you answered, brushing his tears away with your thumb. “Did you like it? Kazuha taught it to me the last time I went to Inazuma. He said it’s an old lullaby that mothers used to sing to their children.”

Yes, it’s one that my own mother often sang to me, is what he wanted to say, but he knew that if he told you, you would have sputtered out a panicked apology. It was true that even now his chest still ached when thinking back on those times from long ago, but his past was not entirely shaped by sorrow and loss. Those were also some of the happiest times in his life, at least right before his world suddenly turned on its head. He held those few fond memories deep inside of him, saving them for days when he needed that joy the most.

“Ah, I believe I’ve heard it before, though I’d only known the melody and not the lyrics.”

“It’s a beautiful lullaby. I thought you might enjoy it since it reminds you of home, but…oh, it reminds you of home.”

Kazuto took your hand in his, squeezing it lightly. “It’s okay. I enjoyed it.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, mustering a smile for him. “Good. I’m glad.”

As you gently ran your fingers through Kazuto’s hair, his eyelids slowly grew heavy. He wasn’t sure if it was from your loving gesture or just from being in your presence. Being held in your arms like this always managed to melt all his worries, just like bright sunlight beaming onto snow. 

For so long, Kazuto had no place to return to. There was no place where he felt welcomed, much less where he felt like he belonged. He was simply existing, traveling from one place to another, desperate to find purpose.

But after meeting you, after journeys made together and long nights spent under the vast expanse of stars, Kazuto could finally say once more, "I’m home.”

That’s all he could ever desire. If you allowed him, he would stay by your side forever, returning all the love and care you had sent his way. It was the least he could do for you. You’d given up a normal life just for the chance to spend your short life with him—to give him all of your all your tears, all of your firsts, all of your happiness, and all of your future. 

“Could you sing that lullaby again?” he asked, already nearly asleep just from your mere touch.

“Of course. I’ll sing it for you as many times as you want.”

I thought you might enjoy it since it reminds you of home. Yes, it does. But his home is not in Inazuma. It’s not in a faraway place sheltered from the outside world.

His home, he thinks, a small smile gracing his face, will always be with you. 

And he will be your home, until death do you part.