#i KNOW that song blew up immensely directly after that so i would have heard it ANYWAYS BUT

[gayhomophobicscout]

literally i think the prev reblog (from. checks watch. 2015...) i think it not only implanted pyrosc0ut into my brain but semi introduced me to W4lk The Moon

[themagicalmelanin]

11.5: Return Of you

A quick and awful...possibily funny generated fanfic I made on fanfic maker.com

Fandom-Mr. Love : Queen’s choice

Pairing-You/Víctor

Smut?

by Auroraroses

You were up earlier than usually. You were super excited. After all, today was your wedding day!

You danced through the room, sang a little bit and couldn't wait until the evening.

Oh, how excited you were! Today, you would finally be married to Victor! (A/N Oh yeah, you are ghey. If you wanna know how that happened, read my other stories!)

Of course for this day, you had chosen the best wedding cake. And the best wedding catering. And invited all your friends to come (except Williw cuz she's a bitch).

Victor himself was also up early in the morning, doing his morning stretches and excercise so he'd look nice and buff in his suit.

You were trying out your wedding dress in front of the mirror There had been a mixup at the dresser but Victor thought it was kind of funny so they went along with it.

But of course, most importantly of all: you couldn't wait until the actual night. See. You had a bit of a stick kink. but kept it secret so far. You felt there had to be at least one thing Victor should only discover on their wedding night! Oh, how excited you were to finally share that final bit with Victor!

The day was coming along nice. You received lots of compliments for your dress. Victor looked fabulous in his suit. His muscles nicely toned thanks to the suit being of just the right tightness. Oh, you loved watching your love. Those sweet lips of him touching the wine glass, soaking them up in the red liquid of the wine. Those lips you could kiss all night long.

And those hands, you looked at it. Abscentmindedly as someone else was talking to you while he did so. Victor's hands were so full with power. The way he grabbed your hands as they cut the cake. The way he held your wrists as you cut the cake into slices. Those hands would be soon on your chest.

There was a speech or two. Proclaiming that there had never been such a perfect couple as you and Victor. That the universe had never seen such love. And everyone cheered and rejoiced. And there were flower petals and rice raining down on them and there were songs being sang in their names.

Or so it should be. Because when you stood there at the altar about to give your word to Victor. Suddenly! An ExplosioN!

And from the smoke arised no one else but Williw!

"Stop! You are making a mistake!" Williw said. "I should be with Victor!!"

~~~~~ A/N Oooooh! Bet you didn't expect that! Sorry ClarisaTheBeautiful, I no I told you I wouldn't do that, but I did! hAHAHAHA! ~~~~ Onto the next chappie!

---

A little Later, You was taking a shit.

He was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" You exclaimed, His face wincing with effort.

He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly back side.

Just as You was going in for another push..

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!

"Well hello...You" a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.

A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. His deep, sensual voice which You knew immediately. His mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from his face and groinal area.

"Victor... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

He appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However He couldn't with You near by....they were like family now.Victor was like His grandma.

Any sane person would never allow their own grandma to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!!?! SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from masturbating all day...ya ever feel dirty You?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" You shrieked, He became so immensely worked up he cleaned his colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence he just unleashed, who cares? Victor heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Your spine.

"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, You..."

You was not shy, at all. He defeated Lucien and blew up His evil machines for Christ's sake! and now he suddenly found himself speechless. Was He going to see his metaphorical grandma literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a choclate source on the banana split of love that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one." said Victor finishing the sentence with a sly smile.

"Wh-what the..." and before You could send the third word out of His mouth..

..Victor's towel dropped to the floor,setting his swingy bits free into the mist of the shower.

You noticed everything on him instantly. His soft butt,his magically gravity-defying middle leg and the tiny thingy colored birth mark on his butt, which made Him feel funny...as He had one there too.

Still, the sight of his near perfect body caused Your penis to become very hard. It stood erect and proud, pointing straight towards the mighty heavens.

"hehe oh my You...you're more impressive than I thought."

"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Victor, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through his head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before him spoke otherwise. Him shapely body was everything You could want in something to wank to. Yet did family like relationship matter?..

...

...

NAAAAAH!!

But just as You was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.

You burst into the toilet!

"What are you too upto?"

"Err..nothing" you said as he causally slipped his pants back on.

Victor, who You didnt notice, picked up his towel and backed out slowly.

"Really?"

"I was just having a shit...see?" You gestured to his shit.

"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if your done we better go"

So You put his other pants on and left. He had a serious case of blue balls, but at least his anus didnt feel so bad now.

As he walked out Victor whispered one word. A word fall of hope.

"Later"

You Giggled.

Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.

---

The woman stood atop of the rubble while from everywhere Lackys came from. They tied up all the wedding guests (and Gavin, who had been the priest, too!).

"I knew something was up," Williw said. "You sounded way too happy last time we spat insults at each other." She said as she walked down from the rubble into the wedding area. "Of course, there was also this."

She took out a paper and folded it into an aeroplane. Then she fired it at you.

You opened it up and saw... it was their wedding invitation.

Williw laughed loudly, "Oh yeah, you were willing to invite Lucien but not me?! So I did what I had the right to do... I went to Lucien and I defeated him and took his invitation.

You knew that Williw could be powerful. Oh yeah, before Williw turned out to be such a collosal biatch, they had been fighting Lucien together. But you didn't know that Williw could have defeated Lucien...as long as she had enough motivation!

HAHAHAHAAHA, Williw laughed. "Now to enact my plan!" Because not only will I stop your wedding, I will make your wedding IMPOSSIBLE!!!

The minionss took Gavin and shoved him forward. They did the same thing with Victor.

Williw walked over to Victor and took his hand. "Now, Gavin, wed me! Otherwise I will kill all you love! And if you, you try to stop me....I will ressurrect Lucien!"

you felt like you were kicked in the stomach. What an impossible choice! You thought. Give up the love of your life or save the world from Lucien. It was almost as if fate or God set everythin in motion to torture you!

But long you didn't have to be in agony. Because you had a plan!

Victor winked at You when no one else was looking.

"Later" he mouthed at him silently so no one could hear.

---

---

Later, You and Victor were alone again.

"Its Later" said Victor, pulling You towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, Victor was naked. You wondered how He did that. He must have been nearly naked this whole time!

The shower turned on...

..You was already.

Victor lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off His body at a seductively slow pace. You could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through His veins.

The alluring look of his nudie comrade became too much for him to fathom and his erect penis launched a mighty wad of semen directly onto Your eye.

There You sat, His pink panties pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with His bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from His face.

Victor giggled as Your dignity shriveled and died, but You had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after He found out He was His own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" You said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."

"it?"

"yes. it"

"we do it?"

"yes"

"oh"

...and with that Victor jumped on You. What little remained of their clothes plopped of quickly. Some fell in the toilet.

"um... lets g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." You stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.

Victor hopped gleefully out of the shower, the soap continued pouring from His shapely body.You stood up from the toilet, His naughty bits proudly waving about and His pants still down around His ankles. He hurried to chase His shapely body down.

He fell in the door way, tripping over His pants. He pulled His face up from the floor and gazed at Victor, DANCING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

The night wreaked of eroticisms...and You could see that it was going to be a all you can eat porkfest.

And it was!

Victor was soon ridding You like a pogo stick.

"Poke me! DEEPER! DEEPER! GODDAMNIT!"

"Oh God I'm going to hell!" You screamed.

You still had his Hawaiian shirt on and Victor was dripping soapy water all over the bed.

His perky penis swung around, like a happy child on a moon bounce. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!, You liked it. It was a big, beautiful thing that ached to be sucked on.

You especially liked that from this angle He could not see the awkward birth mark on His ass cheek. Which was a relief. You wanted to be hard and strong where it counts for the person He had always thought of as His mother-in-law.

"Oh You!" He breathed heavily, deep and cavernous "is what we're doing wrong!?!?"

"OH GOD YES!!" He yelled back at His naked mother-in-law.

"GOOD! YES! YES! YES! YES BROTHER!!!" Victor screamed.

When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby warehouse down.

It took awhile - fortunately they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.

---

~~~~~A/N uuuurgh I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry it took sooo long. I had to find some inspiration because yknow, it fic did end in a really difficult cliffhanger! But after binge watching some netflix, I think I really got a cool thing down now! ~~~~~~

"Uuuurgh," you said, putting up your most bored voice, "Well, I didn't really want him anyway, I just said that to rile you up."

"What?!" said Williw in utter disbelieve.

"Yeaaah, I was just so angry with you over, y'know, that thing. that I decided that I was going to marry Victor just to make you jealous."

And then, then you thought of the one thing that would make your ruse even better.

"Because really, you said, I love you."

Williw stood there baffled. All the minionss looked at her unsure what to do now.

"Y... you mean that?" said Williw.

"Of course not!" said Victor and in that unguarded moment he knocked Williw unconscious.

"Haha, you didn't expect that to happen, hey Bitch?!" Victor yelled loudly and laughed loudly afterwards.

All the other guests laughed as well.

As did you.

And afterwards, when the police came and arrested Williw, the wedding continued.

And as you predicted. In the evening, finally you could show off your kink. And then it turned out that Victor too had a secret, he whispered at you, taking off his shirt and revealing that he had been wearing nipple clamps all this time. That was kinda hot as well, you thought and it became a really really nice night.

Although, deeply, somewhere... You felt a little doubt over your proclaimation of love towards Williw. Maybe there was a core of truth in it. Maybe their rivalry was nothing more than a elaborate foreplay? Non-the less. Now it was too late. Victor was your life partner now. Although... maybe... when Williw finally came free, you might be able to convince Victor to explore more kinks with the both of them....

The end

[virgogh-away]

Requited - Veronica Lodge x Reader

A/N: So! Here is my second Riverdale one shot!! There’s not much to say about it honestly, just that I hope you like it and give me some feedback if you want!

When you wake up on Monday morning, far too early to function and nursing a major hangover, you begin to question what exactly happened the night before. You’re alone in your bedroom, which is pretty spectacular since you can’t remember how you got here, but, glancing in the mirror, you see the aftermath of an epic party on your face. You immediately let out a groan and attempt to dig through your brain, hoping you’ll come out with a rundown of everything that you did last night.

You continue to stare at your reflection and can’t help but focusing on your lips and the smudged color that lies there. This sight drew your attention because it wasn’t like you to wear anything on your lips at all. That was more Veronica’s style.

Another groan passes your lips as you realize that the color is Veronica’s signature shade. And this leads you to remember everything, including the tiniest of details, that happened last night.

Veronica tugs on your hand as she pulls you through the crowds in the cramped house that contains, what looks to be, the entire student body of Riverdale High. Why did you even agree to come here?

“Here,” Ronnie tells you as she puts a solo cup full of mysterious liquid in your empty hand, “I mixed it myself, so you don’t have to worry about some weird perv drugging you.”

Oh, that’s right. She’s the reason you’re here.

Your crush on Veronica Lodge has only gotten stronger the longer you’ve been friends with her and, lately, she’s been extra touchy with you. Holding your hand, giving you lots of hugs, looping her arm in yours when walking through school, and that’s just the start of it. It’s gotten harder and harder to keep your little crush a secret.

Ronnie promises not to leave you alone, since she knows it’s not really your scene and doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable in any way. You’re really grateful for that, but can’t help but feel a little guilty that you’re keeping her away from doing whatever it is she came to do tonight.

A few moments later the alcohol in your system kicks in and you can’t be bothered to care about much of anything. You’re tipsy and dancing with your best friend/crush, which is a dangerous activity in your current state, but that’s a fleeting thought in your momentarily hyperactive mind.

You try to maintain eye contact with your dance partner but can’t deny yourself the pleasure of letting your eyes wander. You’ve seen her at Bulldogs games, you know that she’s a great dancer, you’ve just never been this close to truly appreciate her talent. Everything about her is gorgeous as she sways and shakes to whatever song is on at the moment, and you don’t even think about holding yourself back when you say,

“You look really beautiful.”

Veronica seems to blush as you tell her this and proceeds to dance a bit closer to you. It might just be the mystery drink that she served you earlier, but it seems like she’s attempting to flirt with you? If she is, goddamn is it working.

Following her lead, you decide to take a step closer as well, and now you’re standing chest to chest. Before you can comprehend what’s happening, Veronica’s lips are attached to yours and you’re over the moon about it.

You respond to her touch immediately, wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her closer (despite how impossible that might seem). You’re in absolute bliss and can’t believe that your crush is actually kissing you back. Sadly, you’re quickly pushed apart by some random party-goers and wind up on opposite sides of the room. Instead of trying to search for her, you decide to step outside and maybe sober up, realizing that you can talk to her about it later.

Your memories from the party are not only extremely satisfying, but unbelievably embarrassing. In the couple years that you’ve known the raven-haired girl she had never given you a single reason to believe that she 1. Liked girls and 2. Liked you more than a friend. Sure, she liked physical contact, but she was like that with everyone she knew. I mean, you had heard the story about the first day she met Betty, and they were still just friends after that kiss.

You felt immense guilt for probably forcing Ronnie into something that she clearly didn’t want, since your relationship thus far had been purely platonic. That kiss was just some weird, friendly girl-thing. Admittedly, it was kind of hard for you to wrap your head around, but you just accepted your hypothesis as truth and decided that your one mission for the next few weeks (until the whole situation blew over) was to avoid Veronica Lodge. At all costs.

***

Only a few hours into your goal and you felt your resolve crumbling. Veronica just seemed to be everywhere you were, which made sense in some cases, since you hung out with the same people, but why was she in the library? Sure, it was a public place for students to attain new knowledge, but if V really wanted to learn something she would stumble across it on her Twitter feed.

It didn’t end there though! She came into your third period with a note for one of the other students in your class. Which would be fine and dandy, but she didn’t even work in the office this period! You almost slipped up and made eye contact with her too, but turned your head as quickly as possible to look in the complete opposite direction. You heard her huff before leaving, and felt slightly disheartened, but knew that this course of action was for the best.

When lunch finally reared it’s typically beautiful but currently ugly head, you kept your eyes glued to the ground and scurried over to a big tree in the middle of the field. You knew that your friends would be able to see you, but it was the only place that you could think of to go (plus it was a really nice place to read). You pulled out one of the Harry Potter books (which you had already read a good number of times) and sighed, willing yourself not to think too much about the youngest Lodge.

***

Veronica sighs as she stares at you, sitting under some weird tree on your own, probably rereading some book for the fiftieth time, “God Kev, what do I do?”

He rolls his eyes and looks at the girl sitting next to him, taking in the state she’s in. Her outfit is as impeccable as ever, but she’s a nervous wreck and Kevin is, frankly, quite tired of her out of character behavior. The Veronica he’s unwillingly grown to like is ballsy and would’ve stormed up to Y/N the second she thought she was being ignored.

“You walk up to her like you would with literally anyone else. It’s not that hard, V.”

Veronica throws up her hands, and Kevin’s glad that she hasn’t lost her flair for the dramatics, “Easy for you to say! You’re not the one who initiated a kiss with someone who clearly didn’t like or want it in the first place!”

Kevin places his face in his hands and allows Ronnie a few more minutes of wallowing before setting her on the right path. He knows exactly how to get her back, he just didn’t think it would come to this.

“Go do what everyone expects you to. Be the abrasive, bitchy, confident female you are. Go be Veronica Lodge,” He knew that busting out her name and inflating her ego would work, but he didn’t anticipate it working so well. She immediately hops up from her spot and practically sprints over to Y/N. The sheriff’s son made a promise months ago that he would never reveal Y/N’s crush, and he has yet to break it, but he’s glad that in a few short moments he won’t have to worry about it anymore.

***

You hear a very familiar, and loud, huff directly in front of you and look up to see a fuming (yet still extremely stunning) Veronica. You’re about to speak up, since you’re slightly concerned that you’re about to get kicked or something, but you have no time before V is practically yelling,

“What’s your deal?”

You expect such brash behavior from the girl standing in front of you, and almost laugh, until you realize how upset she looks. She’s not only angry but also disappointed because of you, and that realization almost makes you start crying. Instead of doing something controlled like that, though, you spew out some word vomit,

“I really like you and I’m sorry I kissed you when I did because that was more than just some drunken sloppy kiss to me and I always dreamed that our first kiss would be special and I wouldn’t have the rancid stench of patron in my nose,” You finish and take a long, and deserved, breath in. You were finally putting your feelings out on the table. If Veronica didn’t feel the same, then that would be fine, because she was still an amazing friend and someone you wanted on your side.

Veronica has clear shock written on her face and instead of an immediate and outright rejection (which you expect) she says, much more quietly than her previous outburst, “You dreamed about our first kiss?”

A bright blush takes up the majority of your face and you realize exactly what you just said, “Mostly day-dreaming, but yeah.”

Ronnie smiles brightly at your confession and holds out a hand for you to grab, which you very quickly do. She pulls you up and grasps onto your other hand, looking directly into your eyes which intimidates you like crazy but you accept her unspoken request and look back into hers.

“I really like you too, Y/N. And I’m sorry that our first kiss was that because I think we deserve much better, you deserve better. You deserve all the cliché and sappy things that you want in this world and if one of those things is a perfect first kiss, then I’ll give you that.”

You cock your head to the side as she finishes, because while what she said was amazing and heartfelt and you didn’t think you could adore her anymore but here you are, her last sentiment has you a little confused.

“But, didn’t we already have our first kiss?”

Veronica smiles at this, knowing that you would need some kind of explanation and wouldn’t simply accept that last night never happened, because it clearly did, “Oh, nope, not you and me. The person you kissed last night was actually my evil twin,” you giggle as she says this and she laughs too, but she continues with her ridiculous story, “Yeah, she’s a major alcoholic and I told her how much I like you and, since she’s super evil, she wanted to drive a wedge between us. But, her schemes couldn’t separate us for long.”

You nod as you rest your hand on your chin, looking pensive, “Yeah actually, that totally checks out.”

“She’s gone now, but before she left she suggested that I take you on a date soon, since you’re a really great kisser and adorable person in general. I mean, as long as you want to,” Veronica explains as she looks down at your hands, currently intertwined. You can tell that she’s nervous again, but really has no reason to be. You’re head-over-heels for the girl, and would be a downright idiot to reject her.

You lean forward slightly and press a kiss to her cheek, hoping that this is the first of many kisses shared between the two of you, “I’ve never wanted anything more.”

[washedupreviews]

Review: Latitude Festival 2013

It’s a long drive from the North-West to the South-East of England, but it’s a journey three of my friends and I made to get to Latitude Festival in Suffolk. Latitude is a music and arts festival that this year celebrates its ninth birthday. The line-up looked ideal for us but we had no idea what to expect from the festival itself. A ticket is in the region of £200 depending on what you package you get. Eight hours after we set off we were completely set up in the campsite and sitting outside our tent with a beer.

We were situated quite close to entrance to the main arena, near the campsite facilities and shops. The late afternoon sun beat down on us and for a few hours we simply did nothing. Behind our tent there were a group of teenagers, probably approaching around 16 years old who had warned us that they were going to be loud all day and night. We laughed as we remembered our first festivals and assured them that we wouldn’t mind, in fact we intended to do much the same. Although, they were oddly irritating for a reason I couldn’t put my finger on at first. Directly in front of our tent was a young couple who, again, we couldn’t believe were much more than 15. The boy bared an uncanny resemblance to actor Michael Cera and as such we named him this for the entire festival. After looking around slightly further afield from our tent it became apparent that this age demographic was heavily represented on our campsite. Perhaps more interesting, was the family tents that were dotted around nearby. This wasn’t quite what I was used to with other festivals, but it seemed a welcome change. That was until on the way back from the toilets I overheard a posh sounding mother chuckling and saying ‘sipping Shiraz in a field! How terribly quaint.’ This sent a prickle of irritation down my spine, but I took it in my stride. 

Later that evening we ventured into the arena to see what there was on offer and what we found blew us away. You enter, down a path between towering trees at the bottom of a field. There’s lights hung amidst the branches showing the way in the twilight and a general buzz of activity in amongst the forest on both sides. As the forest opened out onto a small slow flowing river music burst out from concealed speakers in the trees. We looked around and saw a crowd had gathered on the river bank. As we walked over a woman swept across the water on a wire dressed as a swan followed by a burst of coloured lights. The music was Arcade Fire’s Rebellion (Lies) and as the song beat on, building and building, we were treated to an array of acrobatics all on the surface of the water. Huge Chinese lanterns were set off, drifting upwards into the early evening sky as it all came to an end. It was stunning. We were amazed at what we’d stumbled upon and hoped for more throughout the weekend. When we returned to the campsite the party had more than started and we went into it head first and sprinting. We consumed a lot of alcohol that night, and didn’t stop until the early hours. We met a lot of people, some we liked, some we despised but it seemed a good mix. Michael Cera seemed to have been told firmly that he would be having an early night by his other half. The teens behind us did their best to live up to their earlier warning, but seemed to peak too early. The Shiraz drinking families did a surprisingly good job of joining in with some of the obscure occurrences created when you infuse young people with alcohol. I for one was too inebriated for anyone to irritate me anyway.

When I awoke the next morning, I was hazy but more than ready for the day ahead. The tent was similar to an oven in the heat and so I got outside, lit a cigarette and looked out across the campsite. Everyone seemed to be in a state similar to mine, and I was quite content to sit back and let the morning happen to me. Michael Cera was snapped at by his girlfriend as she sneered ‘I would be having soup right now, if you hadn’t lost the tin opener!’ He could only apologise. They talked as if they had long been unhappily married. After an hour or so, the first of the teens awoke behind us and shouted loudly to his campsite that they should all get drunk again. He may have said it like an utter tosser but he made a good point. As my friends got up one by one, we cracked a new beer and made a plan for the day. 

The line-up at Latitude cannot be faulted. Particularly 2013, had such a broad selection of brilliant music. On the Friday, we caught I Am Kloot and Stornoway who were both pleasant folk bands to listen to as we lay in the sun.  As the crowds grew throughout the day the heat became more intense and the air incredibly dry. If you joined a crowd at one of the outdoor stages the dancing would kick up a huge amount of dust which you would breathe in for the duration. It wasn’t comfortable, but it didn’t ruin it. 

That night The Maccabees supported Bloc Party on the mainstage. This was always going to be the highlight for me. Two of my favourite bands one after the other, it doesn’t happen often. Both indie bands from London their styles contrast but there are certainly crossovers. The Maccabees have developed from tight, fast indie pop, to beautifully produced expansive soundscapes and everything in between. Bloc Party have been through similar areas but have come out sounding incredibly raw and rock heavy on their latest album, Four. On that Friday night, unsurprisingly, they were both brilliant, sounding as good as I’d ever heard them. They both played set lists that seemed tailored for me with The Maccabees ending with their glorious album ending Grew Up At Midnight from Given to the Wild and Bloc Party opening with the epic So Here We Are. Bloc Party were and still are in a bad way, with arguments between musicians tearing the band apart. There is talk that the set at Latitude could be one of their last gigs. However, that night, admittedly with a replacement drummer, they put differences aside and played with immense energy. For those few hours, I was completely in a world of my own. I loved every second. Saturday, we were treated to a huge range of music, comedy and poetry as we really tried to get around and see as much as possible. Latitude is certainly full of things to do. It is a very good idea just to wander around aimlessly at such a diverse festival as you come across many hidden gems. Keith Allen’s Anti-Establishment Club on the Literary Stage was one such gem. A series of intelligent speakers getting things off their chest, promoting creativity and diversity. Another example being Andrew O’Neill the transvestite black metal stand-up comedian who is far from what you might expect, if you could possibly have any expectations from that description. It is beyond eclectic and you will be amazed what you can find if you look around. 

Something that I noticed on the Saturday was how annoyingly reserved the crowds were. With some of the more raucous music you want to be in a crowd that will move about. I often found myself in a very static crowd who simply watched the band at the front. Maybe this is some people’s preference when watching live music, but I certainly prefer to be in an active crowd that jump, dance and sing along. 

This was perfectly represented when we went to see Alt-J who were by far the most disappointing band we saw that weekend. Their album, An Awesome Wave, is a unique and interesting mix of technical indie and dance with a hugely diverse range of influences and samples. It is a very well-crafted album, but, unfortunately their live show gives nothing more. They may as well have just pressed play and left as they had very little presence on stage. The crowd reflected this, with posh teenagers staring blankly at the front with little movement other than the odd singalong part. As we were leaving I could hear them all saying how amazing it was and wondered if we’d been at the same gig. On the Sunday morning, I was sitting outside the tent again in the sun with a cup of tea.  Michael Cera was opposite me reading Game of Thrones, quietly enjoying the sun. His future wife’s voice emanated out from within the tent ‘Would you stop reading those stupid fantasy novels and come and help me find some clothes!’ He proceeded to close his book, look up at me and sigh. Then he disappeared into the tent. I couldn’t quite believe what I had seen. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I went for laughter as I thought that it was probably the Shiraz drinkers that had raised such a girl. That was the last I saw of Michael Cera. 

The now familiar voice from behind the tent echoed round the campsite. He had recently declared himself the Ketamine King and more than anything I wanted his reign to end. Perhaps it was just bad luck with where we had camped because we met plenty of very approachable and easy-going people throughout the weekend, but Latitude is full of arseholes. The group behind our tent encapsulated the general mood of that age group at that festival, and it wasn’t the mood I’d come to expect at a festival. They were obviously quite privileged kids and they had discovered expensive and popular narcotics which they were very proud of and made it very well known. It became immensely irritating to the point where we went to other people’s campsites just to get away from them. Unfortunately, that personality seemed all too common at Latitude. 

The last band I saw that weekend was Foals. Before the festival my interest in them had started to slip but seeing them live brought me right back to them. Another band that has evolved in a similar way to The Maccabees becoming more electronic as they have advanced. For the last act of the weekend, the crowds began to move, people started to dance and for two hours thousands of people got hugely grubby in a storm of dirt and sweat. If this isn’t your thing, don’t go to a proper music festival. Foals played a massively impressive set and were a perfect close to the weekend and the party went on long into the night.

I guess the true test of a festival is whether I’d go again. The truth is I would if the line-up was as good. But looking at the 2014 line up, I think we may have got our timing right. I can’t see them topping 2013 in terms of acts for quite a while. However, it’s important to understand that the line-up isn’t everything and of course, really, the weekend is what you make it. Perhaps I am too easily irritated by people, but, unfortunately, the personality that Latitude attracts is hugely unattractive to me.