#i NEED the gay snoopy mug in my life instantly

[bingle3]

I'm going to have to wait a whole day to watch the Amsterdam episode, I might pass away 🙏 I need Trent to give more stupid hints to Colin in Amsterdam, I need Ted to look at Trent and have some thoughts, I need literally all the characters to come out just to piss off all the homophobic football lads in my year who'll be talking about it.

Trent Crimm you've consumed my brain you gay loser ♥️

[pinknerdpanda]

Muddle Through Somehow

Word Count: 1,643 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: Angst, Fluff, 2020 (even though I don’t say it specifically...you’ll see) Beta’d by: @princessmisery666 - I’d be lost without you. xoxo

A/N: Written For @arrowsandmixtapes for my Merry Manda’s Christmas “Drabbles”. I was so excited when I saw your request, Kansas. This is my favorite Christmas song and it couldn’t be more fitting for this year. I specifically reference the OG version by Judy Garland with the original lyrics, but if ya’ll haven’t seen the video of Adam Lambert singing this song, you need to. It made my ugly cry. But like...in a good way? (video is here) Hope you enjoy this lovely!

Muddle Through Somehow

It wasn’t necessarily the soft sound of footsteps approaching that startled y/n. It was the fact that said footsteps came from a person who usually made no sound at all. If she could hear him walking, it was because he was letting her.

Somehow that made the whole situation worse, which made y/n cry. Again. 

Y/n buried her face in her hands, shielding herself from view and trying to muffle the sound of her tears. It didn’t work. Instead, the sound of feet grew closer more quickly. A heavy, metallic hand landed on her shoulder, tugging her shoulder until she was facing him.

“Y/n?” Bucky’s voice sounded strained and rough - tired even. “What’s the matter doll?”

On a good night, Bucky got very little uninterrupted sleep. Judging by the creases in his right cheek, the squint of his eyes and the mussed hair on one side, tonight had been somewhat of a “good night.” Until she woke him up and robbed him of what little rest he had been enjoying. Y/n sobbed harder.

Bucky’s arms, one warm flesh and the other cool metal, wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her against him. The gentle vibrations of his soothing words tickled her cheek where it lay on his chest. Bucky’s fingers skimmed the length of her back as she held onto him like a life raft.

Eventually the tears dried, leaving y/n red-nosed and sniffing against Bucky, whose firm, reassuring grip on her never wavered.

“I’m sorry, Buck. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Her voice was hoarse and sounded painful as she mumbled the words into the cotton of his now tear-stained t-shirt.

Bucky pulled back then; only enough to look into her face while his hands found her waist.

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologize for.”

His stormy blue eyes searched hers as though he was trying to etch the sincerity of his words into her corneas. Even in the dim light, y/n could see the furrow of his brow and the concerned pinch of his lips as he regarded her. 

Before she could argue or respond, Bucky was guiding her into the kitchen. Pulling out one of the stools at the counter, he motioned for her to sit while he set about making them each a cup of tea. The silence that stretched on was comfortable despite the occasional punctuating sniffle. 

Turning, Bucky produced two steaming mugs and handed y/n the one with Snoopy dressed as Santa on the front. His own mug featured Woodstock donning an exceptionally long stocking cap. He took a sip and leaned across the counter, elbows resting against the cool granite surface.

“Now, you wanna tell me what’s the matter?” One corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched upward as he readjusted his grip on the mug. 

Y/n tapped her nails against the side of her mug, eyes trained on the steaming cup, as if she were concentrating on the tinkling tune against the ceramic. She screwed her mouth up to one side, trying to find the words to explain. 

The soft clink of ceramic on granite stirred her from her thoughts as Bucky placed a finger under her chin and nudged her gaze up toward him.

“Come on sweetheart. You can always talk to me.” 

His voice held a nearly undetectable tone of uncertainty; worry even. 

“I know. It’s not that. It’s just…” she sighed again, leaning into his touch as his hand slid to cup her cheek. “I’m just...sad. I feel like everything is upside down.”

Bucky frowned, his hand dropping from her face and she instantly felt a chill at the loss of his touch. Rounding the small counter between them, Bucky turned the stool she sat on to face him and held both of her hands in his.

“Have I…” Bucky inhaled sharply. “Did I do something?”

Y/n sighed, silently berating herself for making him think he’d done anything wrong. She squeezed his hands.

“No, baby. Not at all. You’re wonderful.” Y/n sniffed and pressed her forehead against his. “It’s just this damn year. It seems like everything that could go wrong has. I mean Christmas is what...a week away? We have the tree decorated, the stockings hung...everything looks so normal from the outside. But it’s not. It’s like all the things that bring me so much joy every year are just making me so infinitely sad.”

Y/n’s voice cracked on the last syllable and Bucky wrapped his arms around her again.

“I think it’s just really finally hit me that I’m not getting to spend Christmas with my family. And I get it; it’s safest to stay away, but it’s breaking my heart.”

“I know, doll.” He pressed a sweet kiss into her hair. “I know and I’m so sorry.”

Y/n pulled back and offered him a watery smile. “If I didn’t have you, Buck, I don’t know what I would do.”

Bucky pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear and tilted her head up slightly. He returned her smile for just a second before kissing her gently. “I feel the same way, sweetheart. I’m the luckiest man alive. C’mere.”

Grabbing her hand, Bucky pulled y/n out of the kitchen and into the living room. Stooping down, he plugged in the tree and all at once the room shimmered with the warm lights meticulously wrapped around every branch. Y/n’s breath caught in her throat at the sight; just like it did every time. There must be some form of sorcery that went into Christmas lights that made them constantly emanate peace and joy no matter how sour her mood; y/n was sure of it.

Bucky then moved to the record player and dropped the needle, the faint scratch echoing softly as he returned to stand before her. 

“Dance with me?” Bucky held out his hand, eyebrow arched and a warm smile stretching across his face.

There was no hesitation as y/n moved easily into his arms and tucked her face into the crook of his neck. She breathed deeply, inhaling his warm scent just as Judy Garland began singing.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Next year all our troubles will be out of sight

Tears burned at the back of y/n’s eyes and she clutched onto Bucky tightly as he led her in a slow circle.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas Make the yuletide gay Next year all our troubles will be miles away

“This is my favorite Christmas song,” y/n sniffed. Bucky hummed above her in agreement.

“Reminds me of being a kid,” Bucky chuckled.

Y/n looked up and found a dreamy, bittersweet look cross his face. 

“I thought this movie came out after the war?” 

There was a time when Y/n avoided asking questions about the war and Bucky’s life before HYDRA. She hated seeing the pain in his eyes at the memories such things brought back. But over their years of being together, they’d both realized that avoidance only made the inevitable remembering hurt more. It was important for Bucky to retain those memories, even when they were painful.

“Yeah I think it did, but I may or may not have had a little crush on Judy Garland back in my day.”

Y/n scoffed, her eyes twinkling in the soft glow of the Christmas lights. “Really?”

Bucky grinned. “Yes, really. The Wizard of Oz was one of the first movies I ever saw. Dorothy from Kansas? She was a real looker. Those big doe eyes,” he whistled lowly and chuckled. Sobering quickly though, he leaned in, lips against her ear, and whispered. “But trust me, she ain’t got nothin’ on you, doll.”

Y/n shivered as he kissed her temple and pulled her in close again, continuing to lead her in a slow, graceful sway.

Someday soon we all will be together If the fates allow Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow So have yourself a merry little Christmas, now

As the song changed, the pair remained wrapped in each other’s arms, not caring if their steps matched the beat of the music. Between Bucky’s embrace, the warm glow of the lights and the soothing crackle of the record player, y/n began to feel the wealth of sadness that had been building inside her ebb away. 

Eventually the music faded completely, only the occasional scratch and groan from the record filling the air. Everything felt still and lovely and for the first time in a while, y/n felt whole.

Maybe this year has been nothing but trash heaped upon trash and the holidays wouldn’t be what they once were. But she had Bucky and the hope that someday soon things would go back to the way they were. And right now, that was all she needed.

“Bucky?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you. For everything. You said before you were the luckiest man alive and I don’t know about that. But I know for a fact that I’m the luckiest woman in the world. If I’m gonna have to muddle through somehow, I’m glad I get to muddle through it with you.”

Bucky smiled as he leaned down to capture y/n’s lips in a slow, sweet kiss. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.”

Their lips met again for a brief moment before a yawn overtook Bucky, forcing them apart. He grimmaced, sheepishly.

“Come on, old man. Let’s get you back to bed.” Y/n grinned and pecked Bucky’s lips once more before dragging him back toward their bedroom. 

“Old man, huh?” Bucky smacked her on the ass, making y/n jump and giggle. “I’ll get you for that, my pretty. And your little dog, too.”

Like what you see? Want more? My SPN Masterlist is here, and MCU is here. Thanks for reading! :)

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