#i also like Mild pain i swear i dont always go to extremes

[b0y0rgy]

26, 38, 50 for the ask game :)

26. What's the most attractive part of your body?

ive got no idea tbh umm lots of people mention my ass waist and tummy i guess?? my dicks usually my personal favorite but i might be biased there

38. Do you like pain being involved?

Yes. Yes Very Much. id actually love to work on raising my pain tolerance theres so much untapped sado-masochism potential in having someone constantly on the verge of agony but still sooo desperate for release however i am just. A Wimp </3

50. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral?

im a big fan of both hehee . im not very good at giving tho ive only done it a few times nd not for very long (if anyone wants to help me practice id Certainly appreciate it ;] )

[myvelouri]

Update:

Well I have hsv-1

That's basically saying I have herpes. Um. I literally haven't been with anyone. The only girl I was with doesn't have it. I asked her back then and she had been tested and everything too.

Um. I kissed a random girl who's name I can't even remember WAY back then. I'm wondering if I got it from that.

So my parents are being retarded and saying oh it's not the "bad one" and oh everyone has it. NAH NIGGA, herpes is fucking herpes. It doesn't matter where .

I'm not totally sure that's the only problem. But maybe. I don't have it on my dick. I basically get these scabs in my nose. You can't always see it. But it's really painful. Sometimes I get a horrible painful fever. And yeah. It's been happening every month.

The doctor is down playing it. Acting like I'm not supposed to freak out. Like, first of all, this fucks up my future possible relationships, this fucks up just having fun, sure, that's all there. But the thing that's really fucking me up is how bad I'm affected when I get this shit coming back, the pain, the fever, being bed ridden. My body can't handle this well.

Apparently 90 percent of the population has hsv. Apparently all of you would test positive for this too.

The doc, a specialist was so unclear. Maybe a bit of a language barrier. I kept asking, so is it MRSA in my nose I keep getting, or herpes.

I'm so angry. When this first happenened, I went to the doctors and adamant about it being herpes. They kept saying it's not. Like hardcore about it not being herpes. They said what I have isn't what herpes does.

So to be fucking honest, I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't FUCKING get it. I just have the bloodwork that says I have hsv-1. Even the doctor said he has that and he would also get a positive result from that. Like. Okay. He said he hasn't had a flare up in 30-49 years.

He's so old fashioned that he said to forget girls. (Lol yeah okay) and forget drinking, drugs and bad friends.

Like dude. I don't do any of that shit. But I'm so young. I'm not forgetting girls. Are you nuts.

He said focus on school and your degree. And get married. BRO I DONT WANT TO BE MARRIED

And for FUCKS sake, I AM focusing on school and working. What the fuck do you think I'm doing here? I'm here because I keep getting sick every month, because I keep getting so ill that I become bed ridden for 3 weeks. EVERY MONTH. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WORK AND STUDY WITH THAT SHIT HAPPENING. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I haven't been sleeping around or anything to be honest. I've hit on girls but I do that so I can get to know them first. Like, I'm not trying to hit on girls just to fuck and go. I LIKE people, it's not, it's not like I'm trying to just fuckin be a hoe. I try to make friends, if we have sex, we have sex, big deal. But I won't just fuck anybody. And I'm devastated

I'm devastated. Literally everyone I know has sex constantly, new people every month, I swear all my friends are hooking up so much. None of them get any STI or STDs. Me? I was in a relationship for 3+ years, got out, kissed a girl and your telling me I got herpes? LOL.

KILL ME.

I'm such a clean freak too. So I feel disgusting having this. I also have that other virus... But that one will go away, it's not permanent.

I absolutely haven't been with anyone so I don't know how I got that virus either.

Also my back pain hasn't been properly addressed. I don't know what's going on... It's bad. Very bad.

I can't believe the specialist looked at my bloodwork and said everything looks good. Ffs it says I have hsv. He said I have no STDs. This is just fucking WORDS. I have an STI, right? You think I give a fuck if I have a DISEASE over an INFECTION? they're both as bad as one another to me. Ffs this is for life. Apparently the flare ups might stop after a while.

I'm not contagious. I don't have any flare up now. In fact, when I get the scabs, well, last time I had it, it went away in like ten days and it was a lot more mild than before. So I'm hoping it just never comes back again.

I told my family to get tested too. Cause I don't see how I got this. It's absolutely ridiculous and absurd. My luck can't be this bad. Are you kidding me.

Am I gross now?

I am really thinking about suicide and ways to kill myself. This was the last straw. After everything I've had to endure that a lot of people probably wouldn't have by now, with all the extreme bad luck, this? This was a fucking satirical joke I used to say to myself "lol bet I'd have all these sex problems, body problems, health problems, everything but I BET I'LL GET AN STD/STI WITH THE FIRST PERSON I'M WITH LOL" and now it's reality. Are you fucking kidding me.

And don't give me that shit, where I'm being told "well, people live with cancer" FUCK YOU, I've done that my whole life and with every single ailment I've had and CURRENTLY live WITH. I'M DONE GIVING A SHIT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT, OR HOW BAD THEY HAVE IT, I USED TO SAY THAT TO MYSELF. "Man, other people have it worse, I shouldn't complain, I can't." NAH, FUCK THAT. I'M HURTING AND I'M TIRED OF ACTING LIKE IT DOESN'T COUNT -JUST- CAUSE SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE HAS IT WORSE. As if I don't already know. It makes me feel WORSE knowing people are out there having a worse time than me. It does NOTHING to help me, it's just awful. Everything