#i always feel so weird when i’m flimsy with spanish and just. idk. kinda feel disconnected
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they weren’t lying, that dis sure can connect.
#raii talks a lot#arghrgaghrhhghg#spanish is hard and my head feels weird part the next one of a thousand#i always feel so weird when i’m flimsy with spanish and just. idk. kinda feel disconnected#which isn’t strictly my fault i’m a slow learner and my household despite the people in it doesn’t#idk how to say this AUGH. i just feel a little disconnected sometimes and i want to get MORE connected and learning spanish#is my way of going about that but sometimes i feel. i can’t think of a better word argh imposter-like#which i shouldn’t. because i’m latino. but sometimes it’s just. feel like i’m not doing great with it. i lost an alter my dad got me#from his time in mexico i lost it over the move and it’s kind of weighing in the back of my skull because i had that for a second#and i don’t have it anymore and i loved it extremely and i don’t have it and i’m feeling just. icky.#i hate visiting my abuelos because they’re both pieces of shit but it’s nice to see the family i’ve got that actually speak spanish#and participate in that culture unlike my other grandparents who. don’t do that. I DONT KNOW I FEEL WEIRD#and i miss that little statue my dad got me and i don’t know where it is my best guess is i lost it in the move#is this a vent. i don’t vent often on here because i get nervous if no one likes the post or i feel like it’s a stupid thing to feel upset#abt. i’ll be fine in a second i’ll search when i get home just. arugh i need to get better at spanish but i don’t think my meds#are working and i want to have a better hold on. this thing. culture i guess. is that the word. i don’t know. slayyyy
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