#i always forget to trigger tag 😑

[plumroseiswriting]

A Very Bad No Good Evening

Roman Klymenko x Angelique “Angel” Smith belong to @a-literal-no-name *posted with permission*

Please heed all trigger warnings TW: Memory issues, ED, body checking, self deprecation, anxiety, time blindness, minor meltdown, food talk

SFW Tags: Hurt/Comfort, situationship, angst, fluff, venting

A/N: let me know if I need to add tags/TW! This one is the Angel centric companion of the last one! I may have projected a bit. Don't judge me. I finished this at 5am and did a little more with this in general cause I'm not as nervous so hopefully its okay.

It is irritating when you are in the middle of a thought and it just vanishes.

Angel stood in the middle of the room. She was in there for something. She had be in there for something. Her mind felt like a dry erase board that'd been wiped clean while you were still writing notes.

She turned back to go back to her room. She was still in her pajamas, it was 4:30 in the afternoon. She was supposed to change hours ago but she got stuck doom scrolling in her bed again. It made her feel lazy, she had a to do list and everything and she hadn't done any of it.

You've always been lazy though.

Her room was surprisingly clean, there was trash and some clothes on the floor but she just needed to grab all the dishes and-

Wait where was her drink? She had one didn't she? When did she put it down? It wasn't on her little desk or her dresser or on any of the shelves.

She left the room again.

Not in the bathroom, but she should pick up the socks before she forgets or they'll be there for the next week. Her laundry basket was almost full, she would have to try and get them washed tomorrow or she would be out of clothes too.

What was she-? Oh her drink.

The kitchen was clean aside from the bowls in the sink. She hated doing the dishes, the soap made her hands crack but the feeling of those latex gloves made her skin crawl. She had to wash them though, or they would start to smell bad. She turned on the faucet, waited for the water to get hot.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

R: Did you eat?

Always checking in on her. She paused, playing with her lip. She hadn't eaten, she wasn't hungry. Well no, she was hungry but she'd forgotten until now and really didn't feel like it. That would not be a good excuse.

A: Of course I did! 🥰😋

R: When? What was it?

Angel looked at the time, how was it almost 6 already? She hadn't done anything yet today.

This is why you're always in a rush

A: I ate at 5 and I had 🍑, and toast with honey. Sounds good doesn't it? Are you jealous? 😏Maybe I'll let you have some later...😉😉😘

She sighed loudly. She ate all the fruit he'd cut up for her already, what, yesterday? The day before? Anyway it had already been eaten, so if she did eat later it would have to be something else and she didn't want to put in that effort. She needed to. She didn't want to.

R: That's not enough food, Angel.

She rolled her eyes. She was getting frustrated.

A: 🙄😑I'll have a snack later Romi.

Angel tossed her phone on the chair and ignored it, rubbing her face until it almost hurt. She was supposed to be skinny and pretty and petite. That's the image she wanted, an image that fit. Skipping sometimes because she didn't feel like eating would be fine. Why force it anyway, that just gave her a stomach ache. She'd eat tomorrow. Maybe. Thinking about it put a knot in her chest.

If she didn't finish what she was doing and ate instead, she wouldn't finish anything at all.

The sound of the faucet suddenly came back to her, spinning around quickly to turn it off before the sink overflowed. Steam rose into the air and she knew she couldn't stick her hands in that yet. She sighed, she'd have to wait for it to cool off.

If you remember... or have the energy to do it later...

She scratched at her head, her eyes, her neck, with her long nails. It felt good, satisfying, like when someone washes your hair except you know exactly where to scratch.

Angel went back to her room again, she felt like she was walking in circles. She was getting annoyed with herself, that irritating confusion building in her head, it spun right behind her eyes. Not dizzy but cloudy and confused and she hated it. She had to be able to get at least something done before midnight. Just one thing. This time she wouldn't leave the room until she got something done. She wouldn't.

She looked up at the dress hanging on her door. It wasn't what she usually wore really, but she'd found it at a thrift store and it was just so pretty she had to get it. It was white, with lace detailing over the bust and long sheer fluffy sleeves. It would go perfectly with her heals and her pink leather vest and she knew Roman would love feeling the fabric. She hadn't gotten to wear it yet. It was too small, but she could get herself to fit in it if she tried hard enough.

Yeah, skipping a couple meals wouldn't hurt. This is fine for now.

She gazed around the room again, it was maybe messier than she'd thought earlier but it was still manageable. She grabbed the trash bag she'd started the day before and began shoving all the miscellaneous trash in it. It was mostly paper and drink cups. Getting most of that didn't take long.

You're still in your pajamas

Angel groaned, putting the bag down and pulling out one of the big black tshirts she'd stolen from Roman. It was dirty, she probably should wash it... she pulled off the pajama shirt and slipped the t on, it made her feel tiny, covering her up like a tint. She smiled, shoving the collar of it up under her nose and inhaling deeply. It eased her a little. She wasn't going to wash it anytime soon. She pulled on some shorts and quickly got back to cleaning.

She could feel her energy leaving. Her stomach started to hurt. That nagging feeling that she was going too slow, that she was running out of time, it wasn't helping the spinning in her eyes.

She pulled the hoody off her mirror and paused. She stared at herself a moment. The shirt definitely looked like a tent, her collar bones poking out sharply, her knees were sticking out from the bottom of the shirt. They looked bony. Her thighs weren't small, but her knees looked weird. She grabbed the sides of the shirt, pulling them tightly behind her so she could see her figure. Her boobs were too small, her thighs were big but her hips weren't, her shoulders were too wide and she didn't have a butt.

Eating could make you're boobs bigger. Might even grow as ass. It'll make you bigger.

She closed her eyes tight, letting go of the shirt and shaking her head. She didn't have time for this she needed to clean. She turned around too quickly, knocking the trash bag over and spilling most of the content right back onto the floor.

Her eyes stung.

The nagging, the spinning, her stomach hurt, she was running out of time.

What time? What deadline do you have? What are you forgetting?

Angel kicked the bag as hard as she could, the trash inside flying across the room.

"Why can't I EVER get ANYTHING DONE!?" Tears started to tip over her eyelashes. "Stupid, this is so fucking stupid," she hissed. "I can't ever get anything right, nothi- I FORGOT THE FUCKING DISHES"

Angel threw her bedroom door open, slamming it into the wall, she was crying now, frustrated and angry. She just wanted to get ONE thing finished, ONE, and she couldn't.

She marched back to the kitchen and stood staring at the dishes.

She didn't want to do them.

She needed to do them. It wouldn't take long, the water wasn't that hot and she had to get something finished.

...she didn't want to do them.

She was breathing a little too hard, her stomach twisting painfully, the confused spinning in her head, the burning in her eyes, it was overwhelming. The image of herself in the mirror, disappointed and unhappy, the dress she still couldn't wear, the fact she couldn't for the life of her remember whatever was nagging her. She was hungry, she didn't want to make food, why did wanting to make it matter? She NEEDED to make it but that made her want to do it less.

She sat down. In the middle of the cold kitchen floor, she just sat down and cried, rubbing her face, scratching her head, she wanted to throw her glasses across the apartment, the energy stuck in her limbs. She just sat there. Frustrated, thinking too much and angry about her inability to think at the same time.

What time was it?

Sniffling she looked around the room. Where had she put her phone? She'd tossed it on the couch. Very slowly Angel stood up. Her arms and legs heavy and dragging as she walked.

Her phone was face down on the cushion. She picked it up and plopped down, grabbing the fluffy pink pillow and curling up in herself. The screen was too bright for a second, it stung.

R: I'm bringing icecream.

Angel frowned, right now? She looked at the time, it was 9 o'clock. She opened the phone going to the text.

R: Don’t roll your eyes at me. You need more than a snack Angel, at least eat some cereal for fucks sake.

R: Don't ignore me.

R: Angel.

R: Fine. I'm coming when I finish working.

R: I'm bringing icecream.

She sniffed, the last message came in half an hour ago. She looked at her kitchen. She should at least try to finish them before he got there. He'd lecture her she was sure of it, with his arms all crossed and his face squished and while most of the time it was cute she really wasn't in the mood.

She didn't move. She got on her socials and started scrolling. She didn't move when she heard someone walking down the hall, she didn't move when she heard the key in the door, she didn't move when Roman walked in. She just laid there, frustrated because she just couldn't move.

He looked at her. She could feel him looking at her. He was holding a plastic bag in one hand and his keys in the other. He closed the door and sighed.

"What's wrong Angel?"

Angel sniffed, she was still crying. He was waiting for an answer. "I can't do the dishes."

He raised a brow, "You can't do the dishes?"

"No Romi I can't, I tried and I can't okay? Why are you even here." She shoved her head into the pillow

He paused for a minute. "Okay." There was stifled irritation in that word. His heavy steps got closer, she could feel him towering over her. His hand brushed her hair, his calloused thumb running over her cheekbone. "I remembered I didn't get you peaches. You haven't eaten today, have you?" She didn't answer, he huffed. "Alright."

He walked away. A second later she heard the freezer open and close. Then the sound of clinking dishes. Angel peeked over her pillow. Romans back was hug. He rolled up his sleeves and started washing the dishes in her sink.

She should be the one doing that...

A few minutes later the sound of the water draining reached her. Angel wasn't crying anymore, but her head hurt, and she still felt terrible.

The freezer door opened and closed again. Roman came back to crouch in front of her. "It's sorbet, they didn't have icecream. And strawberries. Come, have some." He spooned some out for her, but she didn't open her mouth to take it. "Angel, please." She buried her face back in the pillow.

You're acting like a child...

He put the small container on the table in front of her next to the glass of juice she had completely forgotten she was looking for earlier. He took a deep breath, muttering something she couldn’t understand. He picked her up, hugging her to his chest, letting her legs wrap around him, and sat back down.

Angel buried her face in his neck. He smelled like cigarettes and soap. She stayed like that until she fell asleep.

[sansaorgana]

There is no tag police on ao3. Whoever left you that comment is an idiot with a god complex and has zero actual right to tell you anything. If you think their request might be reasonable, add the tag. If not, or you simply hated their tone, ignore them.

If you had done anything wrong, they’d report you to ao3, and not come boss you around.

When ao3 contacts you about mistagged work, it’s through your registered email and is only about mistagging one of the four archive warnings (major character death, noncon, underage, graphic violence) or explicit vs non-explicit (rated M/E vs T/Gen).

Everyone else can learn to use the back button.

Hi, darling! 🥰

Thank you for sending me this message. This has never happened to me on AO3 but I am rarely there so I thought it was something legit...

Their tone was okay and just for the peace of mind I listened to them and added the required tag because it costs me nothing but 10 seconds to add, although I found it weird that they asked me to add an additional tag – "Reader Insert" – when it was already stated in the section "Relationships" that the fic indeed was a Reader insert.

I have never used this additional tag in any of my fics (because I always add Reader in the "Relationships" section) and I have never gotten such a comment before but this probably happened because I added The Mandalorian fic which is a very popular fandom right now. Although this hasn't happened to me when House of The Dragon was airing... I don't know, it's weird that some people do that and it creates quite a toxic environment, which I hate in the fandoms and fanfic community. 😑

It kinda gives off a vibe that "Reader insert" should be treated like a trigger warning and I completely understand why some people might not like this type of fics but it was already said in the "Relationships" section what kind of fic is that, so why do they feel like they should make such a comment and ask me to add the same thing twice basically...? I don't want to interpret the intentions of a person who did this in a wrong way but I really dislike the stigma around reader insert fic ESPECIALLY inside the fanfic community because at the end of the day we all do the same work that is the most underrated form of a fanwork in any fandom, therefore we should stick together. Once again, I cannot be sure if this was that commenter's intent, though, so be so kind to treat it as a side thought. 😊

I get it if someone forgets about an important trigger warning or mistakes the warning of the fic but commenting about such silly things and naming yourself TAG POLICE is quite cringe to me, not gonna lie... 😅