#i always wondered why all my FTM friends had eating disorders.

[lily-alphonse]

OKAY ONE MORE RAREPAIR FROM ME but I feel like I had to send you Gus+Elliott / Gulliott /CookBook :>

COOKBOOK OUR BELOVED

THANK YOU I'M DYING TO INFODUMP ABOUT THIS ONE

I would write an entire longfic for these two if I had the time. I have such messy ideas. CW mention of eating disorder, religious trauma, trans issues (Elliott has had a hard life ok thats why we're giving him happiness)

OK SO

Elliott Backstory (aka all of my insane Elliott headcanons)

Elliott is trans FTM, originally named 'Emma' in a religious family so past is MESSY and traumatic ✨

Begged to go to bible college and was given money for it and just disappeared, using the money to make it to the city (and maybe also top surgery, either way he's had top surgery by the time he makes it to Pelican Town)

Slowly established a new life in the city doing whatever work he could and living as a man now

Always hated the city though and wanted something more rustic to chase his dreams of being a writer

Finally took the plunge when he turned 30 and had a bit of a crisis about it, basically like yeah it's great to be myself now but am I really, when I am crushed by the monotony of the city?

Like he was working so much to try to afford his shitty apartment and testosterone he didn't even have any friends

Also he's anorexic did I mention that lol he does not have a healthy relationship with food. Hates having to stop working to eat, hates cooking, has body dysmorphia for multiple reasons alright

Gus Backstory Using the same backstory from the Gus/Willy rarepair post, he grew up in the city. Part of the down-low queer scene, he had a few boyfriends. A couple of them felt like they could have been true love until reality hit, and there was nothing true about it. He found love in his passions instead, in cooking and found family in a place where life moved slower. Let's make him older like 40s (teehee age gap my beloved STOP I know I'm making it messier deal with it they're both fully adults whatever! I actually headcanon him being in his early 50s so this is already a compromise)

It takes some time for them to properly meet, because Elliott's ID still has his deadname. (He hasn't had the money to do all the legal work to change it and/or he just legally can't change it without a full sex change. But either way his ID still shows him as being a woman.) He could hope that the saloon owner is cool and won't require ID, it is a small town after all. The anxiety over it is enough to keep him away from the saloon for several months after moving there though. He keeps to himself until he can't, because he's started making friends and they wonder why he won't join them for a drink at the saloon.

He makes an excuse that he doesn't really like to drink even though he most definitely does, but Willy argues that he can always just come for the food. Gus is a great cook after all. The thought of food not from the gas station, that he doesn't have to cook himself, is appealing.

In a realization of his worst nightmare, Gus does need to see his ID. Elliott tries to make an excuse but it starts to get awkward. He swallows his fear and gives it to him with a slight tremor in his hand. There's a clear moment of hesitation on Gus' part where he stares at it, but then it's as if nothing happened, the smile back on his face and he hands the ID back to him facedown.

Elliott wants to cry. From relief, from terror, he doesn't know. All of it. The last thing he wants is to be outed in this place that had started to feel like home for once. He gets super wasted to try to deal with it, and stays in his cabin for days waiting for the fallout. The gossip. The world to come crashing down on him. But it doesn't.

Actually the only thing that comes is a knock at the door a few days later. To Elliott's embarrassment, it's Gus. He brushes his hair in a hurry and plasters a smile on his face to answer the door.

Gus seems a little shy, which isn't like him. Gus is bubbly and talkative, usually. But maybe he's just hot from the walk. And the takeout bag in his hands.

"Hello Gus."

"Hi Elliott, um, I hope this isn't a bad time..."

"No, how can I help you?" Elliott leans against the doorway in what he hopes is a casual, unaffected manner. Gus steals furtive glances at Elliott's neck, his hands.

He definitely glanced. Why would he glance?

Gus is gay. Oh my Yoba Gus is gay.

"I was hoping to catch you in the saloon but I haven't seen you since the other night and uh.. I just want to let you know you're safe with me -- here, I mean, you're safe, here. You have friends here."

Elliott is overcome with a myriad of emotions and for once, most of them good. But he is incredibly torn on whether to pull at this thread that has Gus stuttering. It has been a long time since he's had someone so cute in his clutches. But he packs that away for now, letting the relief through instead.

"Thank you. That means a lot, actually... would you like to come in?"

AND THEN they fall in love and its a little messy because they both have their own hangups to overcome but they are so good together because Elliott has a facade up with the rest of the world and wants everyone to like him but goes about it the wrong way, and Gus wears his heart on his sleeve and everyone does love him but he also struggles with setting boundaries and self-love. And they'd have some fights about food but Gus would come to understand his limits and work with him and show him cooking can be fun and everything, GUYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM IM SO NORMAL (not hyperventilating at all, very casual)

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[beanedtoes]

Being trans was so similar to my internalized fatphobia and eating disorder issues. With an ED, you hate yourself for “””being fat”””, and many go to extremely drastic lengths to lose weight because their life experiences in this patriarchal and brutal society have given them a life long trauma associated with weight. it’s a constant struggle to radically accept yourself. And sometimes, you don’t even /want/ to radically accept yourself because you know the next time you eat or look at yourself you’ll hate yourself. So you’re still desperate to lose weight. And you force yourself to ignore the voice of reason in your head that tells you it’s wrong. But we don’t just give out liposuctions and cosmetic surgeries and medications to the girls and women who present with body dysmorphia. we teach them radical self love, give them positive role models of people with a body type (presentation :} )and engage them in active and engaged therapy. For some people it’s a life long process unlearning the self hatred, misogyny, and abuse induced mindsets that got them to that point.

Meanwhile there’s gender dysphoria (body dysmorphia’s fucking cousin), a condition in which, due to brutal gendered pressures, people begin to experience a disconnect and disdain for their bodies, It’s not a natural condition; gender is a patriarchal construct. Gender dysphoria would not exist without gender. People with gender dysphoria often experience intense shame and hatred, and even guttural rejection towards certain parts of their body or aspects of their physical self. Many would go to drastic lengths to mold their body into what their condition deems acceptable.

The two are identical. The body dysmorphia caused by disordered eating is identical to gender dysphoria. Both are direct results of patriarchal structures in our society.

Now, imagine if suddenly, all these major cosmetic procedures like liposuction, cool sculpt, gastric bypass, and the myriad of other invasive weight control procedures started getting covered by insurance or the NHS, and all you had to say was that looking a certain way would make your life better and give you a better relationship with your body. You can now fully indulge in the most obsessive “glow up” transformation of your dreams. Procedure after medication after procedure, I’m sure some people might be happier, albeit constantly pushed further and further. But the majority of people’s deep seated body dysmorphia and identity crises surrounding weight will not be satiated. And then even people without previous ED symptoms be pulled into getting them because fuck, a lot of people are deeply affected by fatphobia in our misogynist society. It would be intoxicating. More and more people would start doing it, and we would have somewhat of an epidemic of sudden onset body dysmorphia that everyone would treat medically. A 14 year old girl doesn’t “identify” as her weight and wants to go on weight loss drugs to be her true self.

See where I’m going?

Gender dysphoria is a mental health crisis. It is a patriarichal con job. There are some super happy grateful transitioned people, but they’re like the millionaires they parade around in a pyramid scheme. My ED fueled my gender dysphoria and my gender dysphoria fuled my ED. And I saw one day that picking at things to change in my body because I’ve been taught to hate it isn’t going to help. Because gender isn’t real just as the superiority of thinness is a modern western invention to control women.

Just imagine how bad eating disorders would be if the medical, political, and public opinion was to validate that hatred and abuse of your body.

Stop this shit.