#i am extremely comfortable at the dentist (i had the kindest dentist all through childhood/adolescence/early adulthood)

[dearmrsawyer]

hello! it has been a long time since i've talked through my day! this one had such a big turnaround that i needed to document it, mostly for myself.

i had an appointment with a 'root canal specialist' today bc i had my first app with my new dentist a couple of weeks ago and his xray revealed an abscess wow how fun :) i couldn't feel it bc that tooth has a decade old root canal so there are no nerves to reveal there is anything going on!! fun!!!! he's a super nice dentist, i like him but he made me very panicked lol he was showing me how close it is to my sinuses on the xray. so he was like 'go see this guy asap' bc he wanted to know whether there was a chance my old root canal could be redone or if i'd have to get the whole tooth removed/an implant, all for the low low price of $5-6000 🙃 but obviously you can never see specialists asap!!! so i've been walking around for 2.5 weeks with dread/phantom pains that by the time i saw him the infection would've spread and idk had catastrophic consequences??? and then today when i went there was CONSTRUCTION at the turn i needed to make and the road was closed and i was like i don't know how to get there from another street??!?!?!??! i spent 10 minutes driving through suburban streets and my navigation kept trying to take me back to the original route with the closed road, and its the middle of town so there was nowhere i could just temporarily stop and look at the map, and i called them almost crying to let them know i'm coming but i might be late bc i just can't navigate these streets jegjkdgkjdkg

anyway i MADE it, i think i parked in another business's parking lot and just hoped they didn't care lol and then the lady at the desk was like 'our other specialist will have to see you bc the guy you're here for isn't here' so i was feeling uhhhh not good after my dentist talked him up so much. AND my dentist didn't send over my electronic referral and i had LITERALLY been stressed that he would forget to do exactly that for the whole 2.5 weeks oh my god, thankfully they didnt even seem to care. but then as i was filling out the paperwork in the waiting room 'no judgment' came on, and then 'wolves' right after??? and i was like this seems deliberate to try and calm me down 😂 and when the substitute specialist called me in he was so extremely calming and talked me through my options, one of which is indeed to try and redo the root canal bc he's confident he can, it would still cost a lot but wayyyyy less. he also said i could 'do nothing' (which is obv risky, and i would never do nothing, but that made me realise my infection is not about to bust through and spread across my sinuses any second, one fear down!). he was just softly spoken and super relaxed and he made me feel like this was not in fact a crisis and said i could go and think about what i wanted to do, and just call for an appointment when i decided. and then when i went out to pay 'i want to write you a song' was playing 😭 i asked the receptionists if there was a 1d fan in the house and one of them said it must just be a random playlist on spotify, so this was all a complete coincidence????? i told them i was enjoying it very much.

anyway long story short i had already taken the rest of the afternoon off work to go work in the garden, but figured there was a good chance i'd be so down about an unexpected and immiment $5000 hit that i wouldn't want to do anything, but i drove home feeling extremely reassured that i had options and i was not on the clock to decide, and also very relaxed by 1d playing in the background the entire time. i have also been extremely stressed that i would need to take the next step asap and this would be such a bad time as mum is working 50 hour weeks right now bc of the referendum, so i am on caring duty with nonna/nonno anytime we don't have carers here. but there's time! i had a v good afternoon in the garden after all!