#i am going to hop in your inbox and send you a few memes :3

[33goosey]

𝗶𝗻𝗯𝗼𝘅 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹? ✨

[le-sejour]

Folly

Words: 1383

Pairing: some very slight Thomas Jefferson x Reader

World: Modern/College AU

Warning: cursing, mentions of furry porn, seductive turtle, Theatre Kid! Alexander, vague to no plotline: just actual stupidity w some romance if you squint

Prompt: Inspired by real chats and true events. One of my greatest friends seriously makes me think of a modern day Alexander Hamilton... Also, he’s a gold mine of hilarious fuck ups and I’m glad I’m there to witness it.

A/N: sweats I’M WORKING ON THE ORGY FIC, ASSUMPTIONS PT2 aND UNDER ARREST I SWEAR I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM and also to let u know i’m still alive LMAO

Enjoy~

MacNCheezy: Hey, doll

You: Yes, T?

MacNCheezy: You wanna make $10?

You: I’m not selling drugs for you, Thomas.

MacNCheezy is typing…

Pulling your [h/l] [h/c] hair into a low ponytail, you laughed as the chat window informed you that Thomas was writing and rewriting his response. It was amusing to see him flustered, even if you couldn’t actually see him. The thought of his indignant huffing and puffing was enough to brighten the already shitty day you’ve just had.

Thomas stared into his phone with disbelief. Here he was, genuinely trying to help a friend out (he’ll end up benefiting from this anyway, but, shh) and you were being impudent! The nerve of some people, honestly.

You: Oh, you would know a lot about the drug market, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?

He considers on sending the message then and there, but knew you would jump at the opportunity to Fight™ so he quickly types in his initial intentions.

But your connection to sketchy trades is not why I’m here. I have a commission for you.

ItsKittenBitch: Oh? Yknow I’d rather fuck a cactus than get into bed w you, baby boo.❤️ 

ItsKittenBitch: Besides, $10 is cheap, even for a corner street hooker. 

ItsKittenBitch: Up your game, Teej, and I’ll maybe consider holding ur hand. 😘

The mocaccino incarnate drags his hand over his face in irritation. Why was he asking you again? Oh, right, you were actually more tolerable than the squad you liked to hang around. And also Jemmy was still too sick to help him out.

You: Will you be serious for once, [F/Name]? I’m in a tight spot.

You rolled your eyes as your fluffy haired friend described the situation to you. He lamented over how he had to take care of James while he was swamped with papers for his major and his part-time gig at a local online publication.  

You: So you’re basically asking me to be a ghostwriter for a ghostwriter? 👀 👀

MacNCheezy: Yes, [F/Name], that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do.

You: What do I get out of it?

MacNCheezy is typing...

You: I’m kidding, Thomas. Don’t get your hair curlers in a notch. 

You: I know I get $10 for 500 words. I’ll do it. 

You:  But I’m also expecting ice cream and mac and cheese for this.

MacNCheezy: If you wanted a date that badly, you should’ve just asked, sugar. 😏

You: e w, can you not with the emojis, old man? 😩 You trying to be cool is just... sad. 😔

MacNCheezy: Just give the article to me in 3 or so hours, or you’re not getting ice cream. 

MacNCheezy: I hear the parlor down the street is having two-scoop Tuesday and it would be a terrible shame for us to miss it.

You: I can get ice cream on my own, ya kno

MacNCheezy: I know for a fact you like being treated to free ice cream because you’re broke, [F/Name].

You: di s gu st i ng. You exploit my weakness for free food.

MacNCheezy: See you in 3 or so hours, sweetheart. 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😜 😝 😛🤑 🤗  😎 🤡 🤠 😏 

You: s T O p 😫😤

It’s been two hours since you’ve been click-clacking away on your laptop, and after agreeing with yourself that you’ve written a decent first draft, you decided to take a break. Drawing one knee up to your chest, you pulled up your web browser and logged onto your Facebook.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: yo [N/Name]!

You: sup non stop kids bop

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I just thought of something

You: wooooah there slow down don’t hurt urself Alex

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Blatantly ignoring that comment fueled by self-hate

I realized why they changed the plot of Anastasia for the stage play.

You: Uh... they did?

Alenhamner Cameltoe: They did.

Rasputin isn't the villain. It's Ramin Karimloo as a violent Bolchevik.

You: huh. Why’d they do that?

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Because...

In the animation, and this was okay for the 90s, right?

Rasputin hates the Tzar over a power struggle so he casts some magic to make the people unhappy and revolt so they kill the Romanovs.

Basically the entire Russian Revolution is because a wizard got mad.

Not because of oppression. Not because of Imperialism..

But because a wizard got mad.

You stared at the screen in slight amusement. Looks like Alex was in his rant days. (You also suspected he was hopped up on several cups of coffee, but you’d let John worry about that.) You shook your head and clicked back to your word document to begin proofreading your piece. You’ll just let him continue to flood your inbox and read over it when he’s done.

After a few minutes of complete silence sans the clacking of your keyboard, you finally realized Alexander had finished telling his story. You read over your piece to make sure it was to your satisfaction before maneuvering back to Facebook.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: So it paints the Romanovs as the heroic victims of this story.

Nowhere does it mention why they were killed and what atrocities were comitted by the aristocracy on the Russian working class.

The plot actually won't hold up today.

Today's audiences wouldn't actually approve of a story like that.

... also you get awesome historical reference lyrics like this.

LINK

The original animation, if released today would be criticized for historical revisionism.

The link opened to another site. You didn’t bother checking the url because it was probably a lyric site or youtube, so you casually scrolled through your newsfeed while it loaded.

A couple of cat videos and a bunch of overused memes later, you found yourself switching to the fully loaded tab.

Boy, you wish you hadn’t because what the fuck.

On your screen sat an anthropomorphic t u r t l e in a very suggestive pose giving you very real, very unnerving bedroom eyes. Chills ran up and down your spine as you checked the url, horrified at learning it was a fucking furry site. 

What the fuck, Alexander.

Hastily, you clicked out of that website before going back to your chatbox. You rechecked the site he gave you, wondering if you somehow misclicked. But no, there the link was, bright as day. To a fucking porn site for furries.

You: WhaT thE fU c K, Ha  mi lt o n

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I KNOW RIGHT?! 

The play might be even better than the animation! 

Wait, what am I talking about? Of course the play is already better by comparison because it plays to a more historically accurate context.

You stared at the screen in confusion. Wait, so... he wasn’t pranking you...? Then that meant...

You: yo if yall wanna be furries das fine w me

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Huh?

You: but keep your porn away from me

Alenhamner Cameltoe: ???

!!!!!!!!!

WAIT NO

THAT’S FURRY PORN

REAL LINK

THIS IS ANASTASIA

You: yo I won’t judge ur weird sexual fetishes, boi. Just make sure it’s safe, sane, and consensual.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: NO!!!

NO THAT’S NOT MINE!

THAT’S A PRANK I PLAYED ON JOHN

GOD DAMN IT I RUINED MY HISTORICAL REVISIONISM RANT

You: L M A O

Greatest fails

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I was trying to gross him out for leaving his goddamned turtles out of the cage again.

You: congrats. you only played yourself. 😂 

Anyway I gotta go furry boi, Thomas owes me ice cream and mac and cheez

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I’M NOT A FURRY

THAT WAS FOR JOHN!

FOR JO H N !

Cackling madly, you logged off of Facebook. You pulled up your email account and forwarded your finished article to Thomas. Eh, you didn’t bother to proofread it a last time because you knew Thomas would be anal enough to go through it and edit it himself.

ItsKittenBitch: It is I, your savior, telling you that I have sent the feature to your email and demand compensation.

ItsKittenBitch: Now get off your ass and get ready for our date before I change my mind, old man. JemBuns will understand.

Thomas’ triumphant smirk melted into a fond smile as he pocketed his phone, handing James a fresh box of kleenex before getting ready.

[leoxirae-blog]

My name is Mii and I run this blog! Don’t worry, this page looks intimidating but most of it is mainly written out detailed roleplay ettiquette so there is nothing to worry, most of it is very likely familiar to you anyway!

Be aware that I do hold on to my right of following and unfollowing as I see fit and that I do not do this to please anyone but my own self. This is a hobby to have fun. Any form of rule break or harassment will not be tolerated

Before we start

This is a hobby. I will repeat this a lot, but please remember that I have a private life and do this for fun

My muse is heavily Alternative Universe/ Altered Universe and I will rp it as such. Unless discussed prior I will see my own universe as the default for starters. That means that some things will be considered common knowledge. More about that you can find HERE

This blog has a few sidemuses. This correlates with the whole Canon Divergent/ AU state of the blog so you can read up on it here.

This blog has it’s own canon and updates will be posted under this tag and then updated on this page

Still aboard? Cool, let’s get to the rules!

I approve of this!

✓Send me asks about my muse and my opinions, even if we are not mutuals ✓Tell me about your triggers and your prefered way of them being tagged ✓Talk to me on an ooc basis ✓Hopping into my inbox to plot stuff! ✓Talk with me in private if you want pre-established relationships ✓sending in meme stuff ✓Sending me IC asks

I think this is ok!

☆ Dropping a thread if you can not think of continuing it, but please tell me about it ☆ Shorter replies when you don’t have muse or dunno much to write. The effort counts ☆ Remind me of replies in a time space of a week after the last. I have a private life but a lil reminder is nice. Just not twice a day. I have stuff to do ☆ Sending me an Ask to check out your blog ☆ Come and vent to me if you need someone to talk to ☆ Ask me to rewrite a reply or starter if you can not work with what I have written ☆ Controll my muse to an understandable amount. If I see a problem I will get back to you ☆ Harass my muse on anon until I say stop.

I rather not have this on my blog

♫ People telling me how to “run” my blog. There will be ooc posts and there will be inactivity. I have a private life as well and this is just a hobby. I will not apologize of running the blog like I want it. This being said, you’re welcome to ask me to tag stuff. ♫ I like critique, I live of it, but if you insult my character it goes too far.  ♫ Asumptions that everything happens in one verse. This is a multiverse blog and therefore I will tag every verse accordingly so unless stated on the “story” page its all in different verses from the main. PLEASE STILL UNDERSTAND THAT THIS BLOG WILL STILL BE CANON DIVERGENT! ♫ Drama. Like I can not help stiring up some angst myself but should I come to actually draw a halt to anon drama or stuff I will say it officially ooc and then would rather not have more of the drama. It’s all fun and games until someone gets seriously hurt. Now that being said I do not tolerate any discourse and irl/ooc drama. Keep it far away from me. ♫ Please do not butt into an already consisting thread unless it is CRACK. If you want to rp on something existing please ASK FIRST. I may still refuse to let you answer ♫ Do not reblog my rp posts unless you are my rp partner of this specific thread. If you like a section of the rp I can repost it into a clean post for you to reblog and keepsake

YIKES

♤ We all got our own believes and opinions, I get that. But there is a fine line between discourse and a friendly conversation about opinions. If you are being harassed and defend yourself I get it, but some people can’t help but get at everyones throat they disagree with. If I see that shit I react quite harshly with blocks and stuff. ♤ I won’t fault anyone not wanting to have anything to do wioth me because of my opinions or beliefs, but if you “call me out” or try to make me feel bad for not engaging in your stupid social justice bullshit I will block you ♤ Just generally keep discourse and stuff to a minumum even if it’s real life shit. “But people need to know! Stop being a whiney privileged white asshole!” we are not going there again. I am here to have fun and forgot this shithole of a world and if you keep harassing me I will take meassures ♤ Any form of cringe culture is dead to me. If you keep harassing others or make fun of people you see “beneath” you, you’re blocked, bye.

ABSOLUTE DO NOTS

✘Force or guilt me into a ship and or rping. For the love of god I am patient, but this has happened and… not pleasant, no. ✘Bash my friends and or other rpers ✘Vague blog in general. I mean sure it happens and we all have our moments, but if it happens too often or regularly I will unfollow and maybe even block you ✘I beg you to tag your graphics and or graphic descrptions of spiders and cannibalism with the tag ‘spiders tw’ ; ‘cannibalism tw’ ✘Anon hate will be immideatly deleted. ✘If you happen to violate my rules I am always giving 3 strikes. I will give 2 warnings and one private talk to fix the problem but if all fails you will be unfollowed and blocked.

But please no matter what, don’t forget to have fun!

Rules 2.0

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