#i am not immune to harvey/donna!!

[thatsparrow]

[hb-writes]

Harvard-Educated Imbecile

Summary: When the Specter family's autumn plans get sidetracked by terrible weather, they try to have a nice family movie marathon instead. Heavy emphasis on 'try.'

Prompt: "I swear to god if you scare me while watching any of these movies I'll shove my foot up your ass."

Characters: Harvey Specter, Marcus Specter, Charlie Specter & Marcus's kids (Haley & Lucas)

Warnings: some cursing, lack of proof reading. 🙃

Harvey lounged on the couch by himself, the smell of cookies wafting in from the kitchen where Charlie was with their niece and nephew, their laughter and chatter coming and going as they got the movie snacks together, a job Harvey had been quick to decline. Quick to say he would have nothing to do with the preparation.

He took a sip of his nearly empty coffee as he waited. He could use a refill before the movie started, but he was comfortable there with his legs stretched out over the ottoman. And maybe needing a refill was a good excuse to keep in his pocket, a convenient reason to leave the room mid-movie if need be…

He rubbed at his eyes after setting aside his mug. Barely 10 am and he was preparing for a movie marathon. Harvey wasn’t sure how exactly he’d ended up here. 

Well, logistically, he knew how he'd ended up here. Charlie and Harvey had driven in for some quality time with Marcus and his family. They were supposed to be taking his niece and nephew to some farm to pick pumpkins, get lost in a corn maze, and fall into an apple cider donut-induced sugar high, but the weather was shit. And the decision to forgo their plans in light of the frigid downpour that would likely turn to snow if it continued was unanimous. It was for that reason that Harvey was sitting on his brother’s couch in loungewear readying himself for a movie marathon.

A scary movie marathon, nonetheless. 

Harvey hadn’t watched a scary movie in years, though Charlie begged him to join her often enough, usually trying to goad him into it by employing each and every technique she’d learned from Marcus—a whole lot of teasing and name-calling, mostly. Most of it barely scratched the surface. Just about as effective as her pleading. Harvey was half-immune to his sister's tactics by practice, but he always declined those particular requests out of principle.

Scary movies weren't his thing. He'd warned her as much over a decade before when she decided that she rather liked them. There was precious little that Harvey denied his sister, but this was one of them. And as far as Harvey was concerned, he wasn't really denying her anything anyway. Charlie had plenty of people willing to watch with her—Mike and Donna, or her school friends, or Marcus…and Marcus’s kids, apparently. She had plenty of fellow deranged wackos in her company, no need for him to join in.

And it was easy enough for Harvey to shut out her teasing because he knew these movies scared the shit out of her, too. Charlie always tried to act like she wasn't terrified, but Harvey hadn't ever missed that she was always jumpy after watching one. Always delaying her sleep and keeping the lights on. Distracting herself with something lighter than whatever horrors she'd just subjected herself to.

Her incessant goading and teasing was all a bluff. The girl was just as chicken shit as Harvey was. She just refused to accept it. Almost as if she thought she had to like the scary movies, to prove something. Harvey wasn't quite sure what Charlie thought she was proving, and to whom she was proving it, but she'd committed to scary movies as if liking them was a right of passage. 

Maybe it was because Marcus liked them. Genuinely enjoyed it. And maybe it was because of witnessing the teasing that Harvey endured at Marcus's hands, as if Charlie didn't want to be on the receiving end of it...but Marcus would never tease Charlie like he teased Harvey. He had a feeling the teasing wouldn't land quite the same either because even though they all picked at each other, there was something different about what passed between Harvey and Marcus. The goading that came Harvey's way from Marcus was different. It nudged at something deep inside of him, some ancient brotherly competitiveness that would likely always be there. It was different from whatever the boys had with Charlie.

Harvey glanced up as his brother dropped a pile of blankets on the couch cushion beside him, picking up and tossing Haley's soft princess blanket at Harvey.

“Want a blankie to shield your precious eyes?”

Harvey rolled his eyes and Charlie snorted as she came into the room, easing a tray filled with the coffee carafe and several snacks onto the coffee table. 

Harvey gave his sister a pointed look before shifting his gaze to Marcus. “Keep talking like that and you’ll need something to shield yourself with while I kick your ass up and down the block.” 

Marcus grinned at his brother, a suggestive eyebrow raised. His lips remained closed even though each of his features asked Wanna go?

It had been years since the two of them went at it like that, but Harvey and Marcus maintained eye contact as if it was a real prospect now, the mere suggestion of it coating the air just as the scent of cookies did, strong enough that Charlie cleared her throat after a second.

“And you stay out of it," Harvey said, shooting her another glance, "unless you wanna go up and down the block, too."  

“I didn’t even say anything,” Charlie answered even though her mouth had already been poised to say something if the throat clearing didn't do the trick, the idea forming in her mind long before Harvey called her out.

It was always like this when the three of them were together, like a verbal sparring match of sorts. An unspoken competition, like the three of them were a bunch of kids. Worse than the actual kids—at least that’s what Marcus's wife liked to say. She had only been half-joking when she warned her husband and his siblings to behave themselves as she headed out the door to go to the office this morning, keen on finishing up whatever it was that couldn’t wait until Monday. 

“You were going to,” Harvey answered. “I could sense the sass on your tongue all the way over here.” 

Charlie smirked. “I think that’s actually cookie dough residue.” 

Harvey rolled his eyes. He wondered how many cookies the kids had actually gotten out of the dough Marcus had mixed together for them. Considering Charlie had been supervising, he imagined they’d all done more sampling of the raw dough than they had baking it. And considering the timer had gone off a few minutes before Charlie came in, and the cookies—along with his niece and nephew—had yet to appear, Harvey assumed that sampling was still happening now. 

“I think the sass on her tongue is a permanent affliction, isn’t it, Harvey?” Marcus asked. A smirk passed between the boys and Charlie felt the sudden shift in the teasing, felt her brothers quickly aligning against her.

Harvey sighed, shaking his head. “You're right, Marcus. That is what all the doctors said. She's got a chronic condition.”

“Right,” Marcus said, giving his sister a sad, pitying smile. “I remember them saying we were better off just doing an extraction than hoping for a cure.” 

“Hilarious.” Charlie rolled her eyes as she shoved the blankets aside and settled into the spot beside Harvey, pushing against him as she tried to gain some purchase on the ottoman he was hogging. “You two are imbeciles.” 

“Yeah." Marcus chuckled, letting out a barking laugh. "I think our doctors may have said that, too."

“Speak for yourself, Marcus." Harvey snorted as the kids came into the room and Haley set down a sparse plate of cookies while Lucas delivered a container of oreos to the coffee table. 

“You know Harvey’s a special, Marcus,” Charlie said as she tugged on the edge of Harvey’s princess blanket, pulling it over herself. “He’s one of those incredibly rare Harvard-educated imbe—”

Charlie let out a shout as Harvey locked her head in his arm and pulled her against his chest, messing with her hair as she scrambled, shouting and pushing to get away from him. The attack lasted only a few seconds before Haley pounced on Harvey’s lap, the loyal little girl’s hands working to free her favorite—and only—aunt. Harvey let the struggle go on for a few minutes, making a grand production out of finally releasing his grip on Charlie, a production that had Haley giggling in his lap as Marcus and Lucas looked on from a cushion away. 

Charlie shoved at Harvey as she flipped her messy hair back over her head. “You’re a jerk, a Harvard-educated—”

“You really want to go for round two?” Harvey asked as he tried to pull Charlie back into his side. “Maybe we’ll go through with extracting that tongue after all.”

Charlie shoved him away, pulling her legs off the ottoman and shifting closer to Marcus. "That's like the forth threat you've made this morning, Harvey. Maybe have another cup of coffee or something so you stop being such an a—"

“Maybe we should just start the movie,” Marcus interrupted, conscious of the little ears in the room, well-aware of the fact that his sister was about to provide an insult more far more colorful than imbecile.

Without further prompting, Lucas and Haley suddenly got up and scurried across the room to the windows, pulling the curtains shut, the room descending into a quick darkness. Haley and Lucas came back to the couch, squeezing in between Charlie and their father, begrudgingly forcing Charlie back to Harvey’s side.

As everyone settled, Marcus pressed play and Harvey tilted his head towards Charlie's ear. "I swear to god if you scare me while watching any of these movies I'll shove my foot up your ass," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Charlie shoved him away, her hand against his cheek for only a moment before Harvey twisted out of her grasp, leaning forward to meet Lucas and Haley’s gaze, their eyes bright with laughter from what they'd already overheard. “And that goes extra for you two.” 

Both kids squealed with laughter. 

“Nice job, Uncle Harvey. Threatening a couple of defenseless kids because you’re afraid…” Marcus raised an eyebrow. “You do realize it’s just a Disney movie, right?”

Charlie snorted and Harvey glanced at the screen, catching the tail-end of the franchise’s famous intro, that classic castle on a field of blue. 

Harvey shrugged. “Yeah, well, they made some weird stuff in the 90’s.” 

Charlie pulled away to look at him. “How would you know? Weren’t you too busy studying to become a...” Harvey raised an eyebrow and Charlie hesitated for a quick second before deciding that whatever Harvey’s retribution was to be, it was well worth it. Some part of her decided she quite liked the ring of this new moniker. She liked it almost as much as she liked Harvey's clear annoyance with it and Charlie had a feeling she wouldn't stop using it any time soon.

“A Harvard-educated imbecile,” Charlie finished, squealing as Harvey’s fingers immediately dug into her side beneath the blanket. 

Marcus sighed, pausing the movie and sharing a look with his kids as Charlie started screaming and giggling. “You know, you two didn’t need to create this elaborate scheme to put off watching the movie. If you’re too chicken…”

Charlie caught Harvey’s hand at the same moment he slowed his attack, both of them turning their attention to Marcus at the mere insinuation that this had all been a carefully concocted ruse. Harvey pulled his hand free, reaching across Charlie, Lucas, and Haley to grab for the remote in Marcus's hand. Charlie wasted no time in settling back against the couch beside him. And Harvey swiftly pressed the play button, both of their eyes trained on the screen. 

“Imbeciles," Marcus muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

“What’s an imbecile?” Haley whispered a moment later, her version of the gesture loud enough that they all heard it.

A chorus of laughter erupted, interspersed with accusations of ‘he is’ and ‘she is’ from the lips of her aunt, uncle, and father before Luke leaned over to snatch the remote from his uncle's grasp.

"I swear to god,” he started, looking at the adults in the room as he paused the movie, "if you don’t be quiet, I'll shove my—”

“Lucas,” Marcus warned, shaking his head at his son. "Don't even think about it."

“Why not? Uncle Harvey just said it.” Luke said, his arm flying out to gesture toward his uncle.

Charlie hid half of her face under the blanket to hide her smile as Harvey smirked outright, ignoring Marcus's glare as Harvey leaned forward to grab a cookie.

"Because you can't say it. Let's just start the movie, alright?"

Luke huffed, settling his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the couch. Haley leaned toward her brother as their father fumbled with the remote.

"Maybe you can't copy Uncle Harvey because he's a Harvard-educated imbecile," she whispered.

Charlie and Marcus made eye contact over Lucas and Haley's heads, both of them dissolving into silent bouts of laughter.

Harvey swallowed the last bite of cookie, eyes narrowing at his siblings as they worked to contain their laughter, both of them violently shaking as they tried to hold it in. 

"Alright," Harvey said, reaching across Charlie to grab for the remote and pressing play. "Let's just start the damn movie." 

Suits (Lines to Live By) Masterlist

[loyalty2waystreet]

Blow On Me.

Drabble Challenge - Prompt 85 - “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor” Filled for @zimdan19  

Thank you for the prompt, I tried to do caring Harvey for you, but it went a little more toward the dark side.  I hope you like it. :) 

“Mike, where the hell are you?  It’s 8 am,” Harvey lectured, not even bothering with greetings.

“Mm sick,” Mike drawled into the phone, sounding pitiful.

‘Well, I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor’, Harvey hears Rachel scold before she says her goodbyes.

“You better not be faking!” Harvey grumbled, starting to think of the enormous stack of work he left on Mike’s desk last night.

“Mm not, I had a fever last night, and my body was all achy, and now there are these weird spots on my chest,” Mike explained, yawning and snuggling back down under the duvet.

“Spots?” Harvey sputtered alarmed, “Mike have you ever had the chicken pox before?”

“Nope, why?”

“Put Rachel on the phone right now!” Harvey demanded.

There was some shuffling, and a muffled yell: “RACH, you still here?” More rustling and a moment later Rachel’s terse voice in his ears.

“Harvey, I don’t have time for this, I have a test this morning, and I’m already running 5 minutes late,” she ranted.

If Harvey’s wasn’t so worried about Mike, he might have pulled her up on her attitude and given her the watch yourself speech, but time was of the essence.

“You need to drive him to the Doctor, adult chicken pox can be deadly in some people,” Harvey insisted, now on his feet pacing his office, uncharacteristically unsettled.

“I can’t,” she spat, “I have to take this test today!”

Harvey hung up on her, grabbed his coat and told Donna he would be gone all day.

***

Harvey lectured Mike the whole car ride to the doctor about how chicken pox can cause pneumonia, encephalitis, and even infertility in some cases.  Mike tried to take his mother hen act seriously, but even Ray was rolling his eyes from the driver’s seat.

***

“Good thing you came in as soon as you did,” Doctor Lackett confirmed, “Because of that we can give you an anti-viral drug that should limit the severity and length of your illness.”

Harvey was smirking at Mike, so Mike did the biggest and most impressive eye roll he could muster.

“Antiviral meds three times a day, you can take an antihistamine tablet at night and Panadol if you need it,” he advised, turning to address Harvey, Keep him hydrated, and you might want to dab some calamine lotion on his spots to stop the scratching.”  The doctor apparently concluding that he is Mike’s significant other.

Even in his misery, Mike didn’t hesitate to confirm that, “Yes honey, that would be amazing.”  Then sat back and watched as Harvey’s cheeks turn a dark shade of pink.

Harvey pushed to his feet, “Come on then, pumpkin, let’s get you home.”

Mike grinned at him and held out his hand.  That little asshole, Harvey thought affectionately as he grabbed the outstretched hand and pulled Mike out the door.

Harvey liked the feel of Mike’s hand in his, and for Mike’s part, he didn’t hold on loosely, his grip was firm and self-assured.   Mike’s hand remained in his until they entered the car, Ray flicking Harvey a knowing look.  Harvey directed Ray to drop them back at his condo, silencing Mike’s obvious half-hearted objections.

***

Mike looked at home in Harvey’s condo, he grabbed a glass of water and took his medication.  Moving to the living room he selected a Steven Segal movie from Harvey’s DVD collection, and flopped down on the floor, propped up against the sofa.  

Harvey changed into his sweats and joined him, instead choosing to stretch out along the sofa, his hand resting comfortingly on Mike’s shoulder and now and then pressing against Mike’s forehead to check his temperature.

As the credits rolled, Harvey noticed Mike was rubbing his back against the sofa.

“Getting itchy?” Harvey remarked.

“Yeah, I know I’m not supposed to scratch, but it’s so goddamn itchy!”  Mike grizzled, upping the ante and rubbing harder, letting out a sigh of pleasure at the relief it was bringing him.

Harvey couldn’t listen to Mike groaning like that for a minute longer.  “I’ve got some calamine lotion in the bathroom,” he recalled, dismissing himself.

In the time it took Harvey to grab to lotion and calm the hell down, Mike had taken off his tee-shirt and was looking expectantly up at him as he arrived back in the lounge area.  There were angry looking, red blotches covering his back and chest now.

“I’m not going to give this to you am I?” Mike asked, concerned.

“No, once you’ve had them you’re immune, and I had chicken pox when I was six,” Harvey reassured as he sat down behind Mike on the couch.  “Lean forward, and I’ll do your back.”

Mike bent forward and Harvey slid a hand gently from his shoulder blade, down his flank, there was no reason for the action, Harvey needed both hands to apply the lotion.  Mike sighed and leant into it, silently admitting to himself that it felt amazing and for those brief seconds that Harvey was touching him, he felt nothing else.

Using a cotton ball, Harvey pressed the lotion onto each spot in thick blobs that wouldn’t dry right away; he was quick and methodical, all the while Mike was sighing and arching like a cat underneath his hands.

Harvey filled his lungs to the brink and then started blowing air over the wet lotion, knowing the cooling sensation would feel magical.

“Ohhhhh, Oh God that’s good,” Mike moaned unabashedly. He sounded like the star in every porn, ever made.  “Do it again, Harvey,” he begged, head flopping back between Harvey’s legs, staring up at him with pleading eyes.  “Please blow on me?” He asked innocently and then grinned when he realised exactly how that sounded.

Harvey looked down and met his gaze with a smirk.  Mike was urging him to blow on him, not blow him but his thoughts had already deviated to the idea of having Mike in his mouth and even though it was a long shot, he was hoping Mike had missed him harden in his briefs, right next to Mike’s head, at the thought.

“Mike,” Harvey muttered breathlessly.

He watched Mike’s bright blue eyes morph into dark pools of lust, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he started back up at him.

“Harvey,” Mike whispered.

Authors Note:  The end is ambiguous on purpose, I’d like to think that Harvey would put the brakes on because Mike isn’t single, but I also like the idea of bow chicka wow wow.  Also, I’m pretty sure there are a few unlucky people that do get chicken pox more than once.  This is drabble number 4/8, you can find the rest here - Millie’s Mini Marvey Musing’s.  Thanks for reading and supporting me.