#i am once again expressing my hate for how badly glaze fucks up my art which i dont fully render it

[lieu-rey]

charles<3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #232

“i’ve never bought a suit before in my life, but when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.”

Do you have trouble typing when the room is dark? No, I don't look at the keyboard. When’s the last time you had a headache? I had an abomination of a three-day-long headache before my cycle like a week or two back or something. How often do you take surveys? Not as much as I used to now that I actually have school, but occasionally. What did you last write on paper? I think some items to Mom's shopping list? Does anything on your body hurt? No. What do you currently hear? "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. I can hear cars outside, as well as Bentley biting himself incessantly. Sounds gross. Do you have any goals you’re trying to fulfill? As for in the near future, hopefully - I'd pray if I believed in it by this point - start losing weight again. Grow more in my photography, 1.) because I want this so badly and 2.) there's no way I could handle the stress of school and a "real" job but we're in serious need of money right now. I'd really like to make progress with driving too, but I haven't been able to in months because a headlight in broken, the license plate or whatever is expired, and the car can't pass inspection, so Mom doesn't want me at the steering wheel and get pulled over for it. Being on the borderline poverty line is A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you ever do the dishes? I'mma be real, real honest here. Not really. Reason being we don't have a dishwasher and I am super queasy actually hand-cleaning dirty dishes, I get frustrated because I feel I don't clean them well enough (being a germaphobe is also fun), and my OCD goes absolutely insane trying to play Tetris with the drying rack thingy. All that being said, it's my least-favorite chore. At your house, does everyone eat together as a family? No. We started to drift apart when I was... maybe a pre-teen? When did you last have butterflies in your stomach? Sara decided she wanted to try making out and I was fucking terrified of going too far or scaring her. Are you independent or dependent? I'm embarrassingly dependent. Who last made you smile? My pup. How did you find Bzoink? Taking surveys for so long. What’s your dream job? If travel and heat weren't considered, a meerkat biologist. Do you brush your teeth twice every day? Just once. Do you have a pool? No. Are the streetlights on? We don't have streetlights on my road. When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? Not unless I'm really cold. Do you trust anyone, besides yourself, fully? Sara. I would say Mom, but I'm entirely aware she's lied and made stories up about Dad. Do you believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I've never really understood this. People change. Are you in any advanced classes at school? I bypassed the freshman English class, yeah. Well, is that considered "advanced?" I don't believe it's like an AP course or anything, but it's not a class I'm supposed to be taking as a freshman, so??? How often do you eat your favorite food? Every once in a while. Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Probably. What was the last TV show you watched? Uhhhh I think it was all the way back when Colleen and I were still friends and we checked out The Good Doctor. Or it was either Parks and Recreation with Sara and her family or Avatar: The Last Airbender, also with Sara. Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? The beach with Colleen, her husband, and their son. Well, does that count since it was only for a day? Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don't have a job. What’s your favorite type of donut? It varies between chocolate frosted, glazed, and plain. What do you usually eat for breakfast? If I even eat, it'll probably be like, a meal replacement shake or Pop-Tart. Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Surprisingly. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Like at a sit-down restaurant? Hm. I think it was El Tapatio with my mom and Nicole maybe near two months ago. What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? Idr, something to Mom. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Like zero, usually. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? No. Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah. I'm not sharing all their names on the Internet, and besides, I don't even know most. What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know. What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? I don't remember, even though I got out of the shower like an hour ago. Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? No, I barely ever watch movies. Why did you last go see a doctor? The primary reason was for my night terrors. Do you know how to play Minesweeper? No. What was the last thing you bought online? A new heat lamp for my snake Venus. Where do you usually park your car? I don't have a car, but Mom parks in the driveway behind the house. Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It's put in the mailbox on the other side of the road. Are you more logical or creative? Creative, I'd say. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Usually. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Pretty much never. Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it a little bit, but my snake eyes piercing prevents me from doing it all that well. What was the last job interview you went to? For a deli position at a Food Lion. Got the job, lasted not even two hours. :^) What embarrassing music do you listen to? I'm not really *embarrassed* of any I listen to. Just kinda surprising to admit to some people sometimes. What’s your biggest talent? Writing, I guess? What’s the best gift you ever received? My dog. What fear would you like to overcome? More than ANYTHING? Probably being judged in a negative way or being seen as "weird," and not in a good way. AvPD is a bitch and makes me less open about myself (mostly just irl, but yeah), which I REALLY don't like. Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? Hm, hang-glide, maybe. I dunno. What habit would you like to break? Procrastinating, lately. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of a few, but here's the one that had the most biggest effect on me, I think. There was one time Jason and I were kissing, I told him I loved him, and he whispered, "I love you too, wife," before going back to kissing me. Remembering that still hurts, a lot. I know now us separating was for the better, I don't want someone who doesn't have faith in my strength, just the memories like those from the time I was convinced our love story was a fairy tale are very painful. Just typing it caused a discomfort in my stomach. What’s your worst personality trait? Laziness, probably. Or impulsiveness. Have you ever cheated on a test? No. What’s your favorite karaoke song? I don't sing karaoke. Do you know anyone with two different colored eyes? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you bought for someone else? Sara's anniversary present, which was a pillow that said something along the lines of, "Hug this pillow until you can hug me" or something. Do you like hot fudge sundaes? My fat ass can't even associate with you if you don't like HOT FUDGE SUNDAES????????????? Do you like to sleep a lot? It's funny, I tend to like naps during the day, yet I don't look forward to trying to go to sleep at night. It always takes longer, and there's also the possibility of just waking back up and struggling to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been in a class that you thought you were too smart for? I don't think so. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. We had a mandatory typing course in middle school, so I learned it exceptionally well. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Maybe Sara? Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? NO. I am very conscious of not expressing my anger with physical violence of any sort. How much do you get paid at your current job? N/A Are your friends mostly older than you or younger than you? I think younger. Would you ever get a pet tarantula? Nah. Do you want to dye your hair? Ugh, you have no idea. What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, duh. Is there anything in your room you’d be ashamed to show to your parents? I'm VERY self-conscious of my artwork, so I'd be mortified if my mom saw my drawings, even though there's nothing "wrong" with them. I'm just shy about 'em. Have you ever accused someone of cheating when they weren’t? Yeah, hence the end of that day-long relationship. Him cheating was a lie from his insane ex, but at the time, I just believed it, but it was absolutely for the better. He wasn't for me. I really shoulda just listened when my art teacher literally took me aside one day and warned me about him. Wha'd'ya know, he wound up on house arrest or something similar, and who the hell knows what he's done by now. When was the last time you played hide and seek? I played with my niece and nephew some months ago. Don’t you hate when people stare at you? Fuckin' yes. I'm too self-conscious for that shit. Have you ever accidentally caught yourself on fire? Well thank god no. Are you Jewish? No. Does anyone copy the things you do? No. Is your dad still alive? Yes, yay. Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Possibly. What melts your heart/makes your knees weak? Watching Mark with kids causes me severe physical pain. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Freaky. Parasite Eve first made me think "oh shit what if this could actually happen," and I've also watched a Shane Dawson video about it, and the idea of it possibly being a real thing is absolutely terrifying. How many dryer sheets do you put in an average load of laundry? I think Mom uses one or two? I dunno. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? No. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. Do you have a sexual fantasy? ...What is it? There's probably something I could think up. Maybe like bang on a church pew or something lmao idk. Who was the last person to insult you? I'm not sure. What color is your brush/comb/whatever? White. Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? It is almost entirely impossible. Have you ever purposely given someone wrong directions? No, but then again, it's not like I even give them. I have a horrible sense of direction and don't know street names, highway numbers and locations... What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? I'm not sure. Everything is fun with her. Are you easily offended? It depends. In most contexts, no. Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? Not really. If you were an anime character, would you be a yandere or a tsundere? HAHAHA I AM PAINFULLY A YANDERE. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? No, because I like to see. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Ha ha, this reminds me tho, I can't recall if he did it once or just WANTED to, but my brother may have gone into one, yelled "BINGO," and immediately left. Did your parents ever collect any magazines they didn’t want you to read? Uhhhh no. I'm quiiiiite sure neither of my parents had those. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? No. I probably would if I had excess money and really believed in it, though. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? Because Jason's favorite thing in the world was the Joker, seeing purple and bright green together is one I just prefer not to see. I wouldn't call it a PTSD trigger, like I don't freak out about it, it's just like an "ugh ew" sorta thing. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? No. I cringe 90% of the time when they pop up. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. Have you ever had to provide an alibi for something? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I have a Batman one I'm trying to shrink back into that says something like "I wish I was Batman but I'm poor and hate fighting" & I love it. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Idk off the top of my head. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? Cats, I think? If so, what did you do with it? Fed it with the other cats, and I'd assume Mom would've called the owner's number if given. If you could grow a beard or a mustache, would you? I'm a cisgender female so like... Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? I'm proud of just how deeply and genuinely I care about people. And my writing and photography, mostly. What does the nicest dish set you own look like? All our dishes are literally the same, and they're ancient. I think they were my grandma's but given to Mom. Pattern's worn and everything. They're ceramic with a floral design. Why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? I absolutely cannot be in a position of responsibility or customer service, and the environment was way too busy. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? I... don't know how I would react? Picturing it, I first feel like I'd be so happy for him, but I KNOW my PTSD would act up at some point shortly after and I would probably end up in a bawling ball (lol "bowling ball" that wasn't intended sorry) because "that was supposed to be me," but then I'd be fine again after I got all that emotion out. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in front of you? Someone at school. You can smoke outside, and it's the one thing I don't like about my college. Are you very close to your siblings? Not nearly as close as I wish we were. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a dishwasher? No. What is the worst lie you’ve ever told? I don't like talking about it. Well, it wasn't a lie, but I stretched the truth because anxiety's a goddamn asshole. Where is the last place you drove to? I drove to, probably home. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. I may even like the live-action remake more, but I can't say with certainty. Do you have a fan in your room? Yeah. What color is your lampshade? I don't have a lamp. Do you like to wear belts? Not anymore. What is the most expensive electronic in your room? This laptop. Only a year old and yet it's so abused with how much it's used. Are you involved with any charity work? I wish I was in the position where I could, anyway. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Have you ever hatched an egg? OKAY SO! I remember in elementary school, maybe like 1st grade or something, we incubated a chicken egg and hatched it. I can't remember where it went. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No, I rarely do. What brand shampoo do you use? Suave. When is the last time you went to an amusement park? Years ago shortly before the breakup with Jason and Dillon. Or Dustin. Whatever his name was. Do you have a garden shed in your backyard? Nope. Are you obsessed with anything? Y'all know I don't know how to love in moderation, not even remotely. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I hate diet, and the artificial sweetener also gives me serious headaches. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, maybe? What did you do when you found out Michael Jackson died? We were swimming in the pool while Mom or Dad was grilling, idr. What’s your best friend’s favorite band? Pink Floyd, Evanescence, and Within Temptation. What’s your favorite kind of beer? Never tried it, don't want to. How do you get songs out of your head? Binge it 'til I'm tired of it lmao. Have you seen all the High School Musicals? I've only seen the first two. Do you dress appropriately for your age? I don't know? Probably not? Do "normal" 23-year-olds wear graphic tees? What’s your favorite word? "Serendipity." What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? A serious stomach virus that made me puke all the food I'd eaten since birth. Do you take compliments well? Of course I appreciate them, but I get shy. Are excessive piercings sexy or trashy? Well they're definitely not "trashy," but SERIOUSLY excessive ones, I don't usually find attractive. But it really depends on the person, the size, and where. What do you put on toast? Cinnamon, sugar, and butter. The Southern cinnamon toast. Have you ever watched Fear Factor? I LOVED it when I was younger, and I still enjoy it if I happen to see it. Joe Rogan was one of my earliest crushes, too. How many songs do you have on iTunes? Over 1k. What song reminds you of summer? MAN I remember as a kid, back when I liked country, my sisters and I loved "When The Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney. Big summer vibes. Has a bird ever flown into your window? OH WOW I don't think so, but I do remember one flew into the car's grill when I was very young and going on a trip. Safe to say it died.